* Posts by Anonymous Coward

387 posts • joined 26 Jun 2008

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♫ The Core i9 clock cycles go up. Who cares where they come down?

Anonymous Coward
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Mushroom

You're using it wrong.

This macbook is clearly designed to be used inside a bath of liquid nitrogen.

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UK's Huawei handler dials back support for Chinese giant's kit in critical infrastructure

Anonymous Coward
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Megaphone

>"Huawei kit is widely used on BT's network backbone"

Personally, I've never seen Huawei-branded yoghurt, so where do they get the pots from to put on the end of the string?

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You wanna be an alpha... tester of The Register's redesign? Step this way

Anonymous Coward
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Joke

Could do with a bit more:

<blink><marquee><font color= .......

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Gov.UK to make its lovely HTML exportable as parlous PDFs

Anonymous Coward
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WTF?

Re: Print to PDF

The issue isn't the generation of the PDF file. It's that they need to format the HTML in particular ways so that the generated PDF is accessible, functional, etc.

Also, they need to convince the coloured pencil department to stop producing PDF files themselves as they're universally shit for accessibility. Produce HTML that can be converted and everyone will be happy.

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AAAAAAAAAA! You'll scream when you see how easy it is to pwn unpatched HPE servers

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

That old adage: without physical security, there is no security.

Well, iLO puts the physical aspect of your server on the network, so you better be damn sure that the network you connect it to is secure. If you've done that right, you've no need to worry about this.

[/goes off to patch some boxen]

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Leatherbound analogue password manager: For the hipster who doesn't mind losing everything

Anonymous Coward
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Thumb Up

This is actually a good thing.

It makes the low-hanging fruit that bit lower, which makes things safer for those of us who aren't so intellectually challenged.

It's basically a big sign saying both 'here are my passwords' and 'I've got too much money' (why else spend so much money on a notepad?)

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Welsh firm fined £60k for pummelling phones with 270k pay-day loan texts

Anonymous Coward
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Mushroom

Consent

the firm and its directors had been "repeatedly reminded" of their obligations under PECR, sent direct marketing guidance

I wonder whether they had given consent to receive that guidance?

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Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button

Anonymous Coward
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Flame

Re: Kim or Ken?

>When you smell and see fire, you don't hesitate

Actually, you should take time to assess the situation - otherwise you risk putting yourself and others in even more danger.

Would you empty a fire extinguisher on a candle? Even if there was someone standing behind it about to make a wish? No, you would assess the situation first.

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What a flap: SIM swiped from slain stork's GPS tracker used to rack up $2,700 phone bill

Anonymous Coward
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Holmes

Why not data-only...

Because standard SIM deals are dirt-cheap in Poland. I got 10GB of data, including European roaming before it was mandated, for the equivalent of about £2 on a pre-pay SIM

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Budget hotel chain, UK political party, Monzo Bank, Patreon caught in Typeform database hack

Anonymous Coward
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Paris Hilton

Re: Dates of birth

> 1/1/70 being a favourite

Is that in US or UK format?

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Bankrupt Aussie Hells Angel scoops £750k lottery jackpot

Anonymous Coward
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Paris Hilton

Sound like if you're concerned that they would do that after giving you money, you should be concerned that they'll do so anyway once you have money... so you might as well take their money and have some fun in the meantime.

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In non-startling news, EFF says STARTTLS email crypto is mostly done wrong

Anonymous Coward
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Re: Actually...

I use certbot in certonly mode and have scripts to move certificates into appropriate places and reload corresponding services. Works fine for sendmail, dovecot, ftp, apache, lighttpd, ... especially now they can do wildcard certificates (*.your-domain)

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Software changed the world, then died on the first of the month

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

Checking like this...

Dev: "what date format do you want? Leading zeroes or not?"

Backend bod: "Either way is fine"

Yes, it happens.

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BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

Me too. Unfortunately the users then try to click/press on the pictures in the documentation rather than the corresponding one in the program...

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Cops: Autonomous Uber driver may have been streaming The Voice before death crash

Anonymous Coward
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Joke

Re: Lets...

>"so been able to break in time"

It was already broken. What it didn't do was brake.

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Anonymous Coward
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Charging the driver doesn't preclude them from charging the company/developers also.

Hopefully they will charge both parties.

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Please tighten your passwords and assume the brace position, says plane-tracking site

Anonymous Coward
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Black Helicopters

Re: Great site

That's a really useful comment. It helps me identify people who buy a house on a flight path and then moan about the aircraft noise.

The only aircraft-noise disturbances I get tend to be military helicopters, which funnily enough aren't shown on FR24. And the occasional hot-air balloon... their burners are surprisingly noisy at 100ft AGL, but they don't choose their course quite like your Dublin visitors.

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Google cloud VMs given same IP addresses ... and down they went

Anonymous Coward
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Paris Hilton

Because DHCP servers tend to key on the MAC address.

1
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Office 365 celebrates National Beer Day by popping out for a pint

Anonymous Coward
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Alien

Re: About Time MS were taken to task

It's a bit like that torch (flashlight) I purchased from China... '3W' emblazoned on the handle. Turns out that's the model number and the power draw of the emitter is more like 1W

So 365 is simply the release number... they basically really fucked up after Office 6 and have taken 359 further release attempts to get to something that is only as shit as what we now see.

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Cops fined £80,000 for revealing childhood abuse victims' names

Anonymous Coward
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Holmes

Re: What good does this fine do?

It'll just mean that in the next round of funding there will be an even bigger 'our police are underfunded' mantra, coupled with some 'terists* and pedos* are getting away with it because we're not giving the police enough money' from the Daily Wail.

(* spolling is deloberate)

When it comes to government organisations, the concept of being more efficient with money doesn't apply - they just need more of it.

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Apple will throw forensics cops off the iPhone Lightning port every hour

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

By your own argument... "Surely there need to be two or more pieces of..." if they already other evidence then the phone could well be the bit that they use to corroborate it.

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No fandango for you: EU boots UK off Galileo satellite project

Anonymous Coward
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Paris Hilton

Re: Dictionary anyone?

>So when when voting for BREXIT which part of the EXIT the voters didn't get?

I don't know what your ballot paper said, but mine was a choice between "Remain a member of the European Union" or "Leave the European Union". The word 'exit' was not mentioned.

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Aussie bloke wins right to sue Google over 'underworld' images

Anonymous Coward
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Megaphone

Re: Hold on

[shouty] I am Anonymous Coward [/shouty]

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Brit drone biz Sensat notches up 29km remote-control flight

Anonymous Coward
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Joke

Re: Well .....

Are you not even REMOTELY compelled to keep reading?

Although I must admit that there has been quite a BATTERY of them recently.

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WannaCry reverse-engineer Marcus Hutchins hit with fresh charges

Anonymous Coward
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Headmaster

He noticed that the malware was querying for a domain and getting NXDOMAIN responses. He then registered that domain and was incredibly lucky to find that it stopped the spread. It could equally as easily triggered something worse.

It's also not what I'd call reverse engineering; he just watched wireshark and had a hunch.

.

That being said, there still doesn't seem to be any reason for the FBI to charge him with any of this shit.

17
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Mailshot meltdown as Wessex Water gets sweary about a poor chap called Tom

Anonymous Coward
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Flame

Re: Rostering is a poisoned challice, strong constitution and thick skin required

The proof is in the pudding

I always took that to be referring to alcohol (proof being the strength) - basically saying "I don't know how good this brandy is, but it's in the pudding and we'll find out what it tastes like when we eat it", but in a far more succinct way.

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In World Cup Russia, our Wi-Fi networks will log on to you!

Anonymous Coward
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Windows

Re: Why would you even let Russia host the world cup ?

More importantly, why the f*#k should we care about a couple of dozen people kicking a ball around a field? It's mostly a kids game and at that just a way of keeping them active.

So, frankly, I don't give a flying rat's arse where this competition is held. It's of no more relevance than the international sheep-shearing world championship.

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Great time to shift bytes: International bandwidth prices are in free fall

Anonymous Coward
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Boffin

Re: Meanwhile...

When have I heard that argument before?

Oh yeah, the entire history of computing. 640k should be enough for everyone. We're at the physical limit for Moore's law.

Analogue TV was fine; why would you want to go digital? SDTV is fine, why would I need HD? HDTV is fine, why would I want 4k?

The web was originally text-based. Then came pictures. Then blocky video.

Basically, people will always find a way to waste extra bandwidth.

If nothing else, Windows 10 will probably require daily multi-TB updates in a few years time.

7
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No lie-in this morning? Thank the Moon's gravitational pull

Anonymous Coward
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Childcatcher

Climate

"the amount of solar radiation received on Earth also changes affecting the climate."

But this is due to all those filthy hydrocarbon-powered cars yanking the sun closer to us, right? Or, heaven forbid, incandescent lightbulbs...

Because, you know, those are the things that lead to climate change; anything out of our control wouldn't be taxable you see, so it can't be allowed.

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Anonymous Coward
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Paris Hilton

In your world, would it be 18× 60 minute hours or 24× 45 minute hours in a day?

If you're fixed on 24 hours a day, then 45 minute hours would make sense, but do you really only want a 45 minute lunch break? That's barely enough time for 3 pints.

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Five actually useful real-world things that came out at Apple's WWDC

Anonymous Coward
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Big Brother

Exactly.

Just because their business model doesn't require selling advertising, that doesn't mean that they don't collect the biggest user-data silo that they can.

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NASA spots asteroid on crash course with Earth – with just hours to go

Anonymous Coward
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Childcatcher

Re: velocity of a sheep in a vacuum in El Reg units

More important than the drag coefficient (hint: vacuum=zero drag), is the speed of the Welshman chasing said sheep.

This was all sorted out a few years ago though, when El Reg units were standardised.

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HostingUK drops offline after losing Farmer vs Fibre competition

Anonymous Coward
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Pint

Re: I'm on the wrong side of this break

My clock says that it's beer o'clock right now.

I'm off...

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Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

Something very similar just yesterday... client had inadvertently printed a 120-page document so was chucking the paper back in the tray while it was ongoing.

I got connected at page 109!

They then wanted to check that things were printing properly so tried another document and complained that it came out with 'other writing all over it'

I had to explain very carefully what had just happened...

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Trio indicted after police SWAT prank call leads to cops killing bloke

Anonymous Coward
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Terminator

Re: Yank Culture Issues

Rubber bullets

Taser

Fire hose

... there are plenty of non-fatal alternatives to shooting an innocent man dead.

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You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

Anonymous Coward
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Unplugged most of the time.

@My other car

Your Alexa-compatible speaker is most likely just using it as a marketing ploy.

It's a bluetooth speaker and the echo devices can connect to bluetooth speakers as an output. Doesn't mean it has any smarts of its own. It fact, it probably doesn't even have a microphone.

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Through many dangers, toils and snares.... SpaceX to send amazing GRACE to spaaaaace

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

Re: Hmmm

What, you mean they might have priorities other than providing an entertainment medium to interested geeks?

Say it ain't so.

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Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

Anonymous Coward
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Megaphone

She was hit by, struck by, a smooth criminal.

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Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Anonymous Coward
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RAID

Replace failed disk in RAID array.

Add disk to array. Start sync in the wrong direction.

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Lawyers for Marcus Hutchins: His 'I made malware' jail phone call isn't proper evidence

Anonymous Coward
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Paris Hilton

What are 'Miranda Rights'? The right to have Miranda? Is she pretty? How do I go about getting me some of that?

2
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Julian Assange said to have racked up $5m security bill for Ecuador

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

Re: Suing would backfire, badly

Courts use video links for witnesses who cannot make it to the courtroom for whatever reason.

Need to find some other excuse to boot him out.

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Trademark dispute by Dr Dre against Dr Drai the gynaecologist dismissed

Anonymous Coward
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Paris Hilton

I read 'Drai' to sound like 'Dry'... which seems inappropriate given the subject matter.

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Measure for measure: Why network surveys don't count what counts

Anonymous Coward
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Unhappy

He'd have far more credibility if his opinions matched with my real-life observations.

People don't care about voice quality because if that's not there but data is available, they'll use skype or whatsapp or FB messenger to instigate a VoIP call.

Also, 3 simply cannot be rated as top for anything when simply straying 3ft away from a large town means you have no signal. If the stats are "quality where signal present", that's a useless metric because lack of coverage will improve those stats.

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My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

Anonymous Coward
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Flame

Not IT related, but I was out on the town a few months ago and came across a smallish fire (say 8" diameter, 18" high)

Some plonker had chucked a lit cigarette into a dry plant pot.

My friends were all "OMG there's a fire. Call the fire brigade!"

I calmly walked over to it and smothered it. I stunk of smoke and had soot all over my hands, but the fire was out.

I was amazed that everyone else's reaction was to panic and/or make it someone else's problem (and a much bigger problem by the time they arrive) rather than do something about it.

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It's World (Terrible) Password (Advice) Day!

Anonymous Coward
Silver badge
Joke

Re: What about paper?

One step further... My credit card pin code is just the last 4 digits of the card number. Or was it the 1st of each block? Or 1st,2nd,3rd,4th of successive blocks? Or was it that backwards?

But it's always just there, so I can't forget it when I need it.

Ah yes, I remember now, I used one card's number as the pin for the other (and vice versa) so that I can see it while the card is in the machine.

.

It's not really, but my point is that it's not a problem having a system if there are so many possible systems that nobody will be able to work it out.

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HP Ink to compensate punters for bricking third-party ink cartridges

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

Re: Customer experience

@Michael Habel

Please learn how to spell Stimulated.

As in 'Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation', Note the complete lack of an 'z' in that.

Once you understand that, you might be able to spell 'laser' correctly.

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NASA demos little nuclear power plant to help find little green men

Anonymous Coward
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Paris Hilton

Re: Hmm...

Charge Little Orbital Windows Netbooks

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DIY device tinkerer iFixit weighs in on 15-month jail term for PC recycler

Anonymous Coward
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Facepalm

"This counterfeit software exposes people who purchase recycled PCs to malware and other forms of cybercrime"

So it was identical to the genuine Microsoft product then?

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No top-ups, please, I'm a millennial: Lightweight yoof shunning booze like never before

Anonymous Coward
Silver badge
Stop

Re: They'll grow up

So, with that £1300/month before tax -> say £1000/month received.

Average around £100/month to commute (because the cheap places aren't next door to where you work)

Rent of £600/month.

Council tax: £100/month.

Heating, food, etc etc comes to more than what's left.

Where does this 10% deposit come from? and if you can save that 10% so easily, just stick it in a savings account and save yourself even more before buying a house with cash, surely?

It's all easy when you've got money. It's bloody tough when you're on the poverty line.

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AWS sends noise to Signal: You can't use our servers to beat censors

Anonymous Coward
Silver badge
Boffin

Think of AWS and google like blocks of flats.

Signal is pressing random buttons at the front door and the door is opened through the intercom system.

They then go to a completely different flat within the building.

e.g. they buzzed flat 204, then went to flat 107.

.

AWS are now saying "No, you must go to whichever flat you buzzed"

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