* Posts by TheProf

744 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Another MYSTERY evacuation: Google UK empties swanky offices

TheProf
Facepalm

Simple!

Someone having a crafty cigarette in the toilet. Again.

MasterCard tries to zap PayPal with own-brand mobe wallet

TheProf

Flat broke

Once again I ask the question 'how do you pay (or show proof of a valid purchase or season ticket) when your phone battery inconveniently dies?'

That piece of plastic may be 'old fashioned' but it never runs out of juice.

Google's Glasses: The tech with specs appeal?

TheProf
Unhappy

Below par

Oh come on Dabbs. You can do better than 'I don't like wearing things.'

Harry Potter's Filch conjures Doctor Who's dead first time-lord

TheProf

Re: Twelve Doctors?

You can't blame McGann for that.

Just too damn lazy to reach your phone? Pick up the remote

TheProf
Devil

I want one!

I have Airdroid and PRemoteDroid why wouldn't I want one of these?

UK malls use Google in desperate stab at luring shoppers off the web

TheProf

Re: Bye bye...

I sympathise. I can never find anything I like in the local stores but.....

After a quick web search I found 11 collar styles*. If a shop were to stock 1 of each in the most popular sizes (14.5" to 20", a dozen in all) they'd need to find room for 132 shirts. God help you if you don't want a white one. Or short sleeves.

Just what do you suggest the general department stores do? It's easy to say "come up with a new models, new services and new ideas" but apart from 'stock more grandad shirts' what?

* point, narrow, saint tropez, spread, button-down, round, pin, tab, wing-tip, mandarin, nehru. There may be more.

YES! It's the TARDIS PC!

TheProf
Unhappy

Want one!

But I think near enough £1000 is a bit much.

Take it or break it: the return of the drop test

TheProf
Happy

The S3 smells like Jelly Beans.

Well it made me smile.

Legal wigs to sort out rules on internet defamation, contempt

TheProf
Unhappy

Re: I don't get this.....

"senior Tory from the Thatcher years"

Well that does narrow the field down a lot but how does one jump to a certain name from that list?

TheProf
Unhappy

I don't get this.....

"His name was incorrectly linked to a child abuse case after a botched BBC2 Newsnight programme - which didn't name the peer - reported that a "senior Tory from the Thatcher years" had been accused of child abuse by north Wales care home victim Steve Messham."

So the BBC didn't name him and Mr. Messham was given the incorrect name by the POLICE. Are the police being investigated over this matter? Why have the BBC been pilloried for 'outing' this man. (No names, no prosecution. Oh wait...)

Acer CloudMobile S500 Android phone review

TheProf
Coat

Display

" the freaky super-saturated colours of the Galaxy SIII’s AMOLED display."

SETTINGS:DISPLAY:SCREEN MODE. Set to 'NATURAL'. Fixed.

Bong Broadcasting Corporation. Let ME replace Entwistle

TheProf
WTF?

Too late

Isn't this SKY?

What happened to comics for kids? Hell, what happened to COMICS?

TheProf
Thumb Up

Re: Something I wonder ..

"Why it's more difficult sourcing a toy gun than a real one."

I must use that line in a conversation. I'll even add my own question mark.

'iPhone 5S' said to begin trial production next month

TheProf
Headmaster

Rant

Media people, please, TRIFECTA does not mean 3.

From wikipedia:

In horse racing terminology, a trifecta is a parimutuel bet in which the bettor must predict which horses will finish first, second, and third in exact order.

If you want to sound clever What about:

a triplet of predictions?

a trinity of market forecasts?

a trilogy of analysts estimates?

a triptych of media speculations?

Hell, you could just write about 'three wild guesses'.

What was that about a new mobile telephone?

Crafty app lets phones send data by ultrasound with speakers, mics

TheProf
Meh

I tried it

and it works. All I seem to be able to do though is send a name and phone number. I think I'll stick to Bluetooth for interminably long transfer times.

Mystery robot-bringing UFOs sighted by Indian troops on Tibet border

TheProf
Facepalm

Fox Mulder

never had a camera on him either.

What is it with these people?

Pixar names HQ after Steve Jobs

TheProf

Truth or fiction?

I'm sure I read/heard that Jobs bought Pixar so he'd have at least one company buying his NeXT computers.

Phone lacking NFC pay-by-bonk tech? It can go on a SIM

TheProf
Meh

Used it once

My local Oddbins (Liverpool) have these 'magic' readers. It took the salesperson 3 bonks to get the card read. It wasn't significantly faster than keying in a PIN. It would be a lot quicker with a stolen card I suppose.

Snake-fondling blonde nude punts Polish coffins

TheProf
Childcatcher

SHOCKED!

Good lord! That woman has nipples under those ElReg stickers.

Nipples! It's the end of civilisation as we know it.

Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

TheProf
Happy

I think it's a good idea!

I've only ever had one cup of coffee from a franchise. Two in the morning at a motorway service station (which in my opinion is the best time to visit one.)

I spent a few moments looking at the confusing array of names but couldn't work out what the hell was what.

Me: Err, could you do me a large ordinary coffee?

Helpful lady behind counter: How about an Americano?

Me: What's that?

HLBC: Black coffee.

Me: Umm, I wanted a white coffee.

HLBC: Would you like me to put some milk in it for you?

Me: Oh ta! Thanks very much.

And she didn't charge me extra for the milk.

Phlegmatic British working woman 1, Media-type focus-group fancy naming scheme 0.

Dr No, Thunderball, Casino Royale? Vote now for the best Bond film

TheProf
Stop

Can't figure Goldfinger

Can someone explain to me why Goldfinger is always rated so highly in these polls?

I've watched it several time and I can't see the attraction.

Bond is rubbish in it. He gets captured while doing some simple spying and spends the rest of the film impotent (well apart from the scene in the hay).

The day is saved by Pussy Galore and the US military. Even the atomic bomb is defused by someone else.

Please, why? It must be more than the DB5 and a woman painted gold.

Skype worm chats up victims - then holds PCs to ransom

TheProf

Re: "lol is this your new profile pic?"

'.......YOUR wallet.......'

BBC unveils UltraViolet DVDs, BDs

TheProf

Re: Why can't I......?

You can't arrest me for speeding!

I pay my road tax and income tax.

I pay your bloody wages.

I'm taking this police car.

What, there's no charge for a spell at Her Majesty's pleasure?

Archaeologists resume Antikythera Mechanism hunt

TheProf
Unhappy

Re: There aren't any

Horizon: They don't want to scare off the casual viewer. When was the last time you saw a diagram or graph on it? Much easier (on the eye) to spend 10 minutes watching people on a beach throwing a ball to each other while 'explaining' the difficulties of shooting a space probe from one planet to another.

TalkTalk somehow retains most-complained-about-ISP title AGAIN

TheProf
Go

Re: Fair enough ..

TalkTalk customers are not charged to call the helpdesk.

Customer Services 0870 444 1820

(FREE from your

TalkTalk landline)

Cut'n'pasted from their help pages.

Google's stats show few Android tablets in use

TheProf
FAIL

Re: This is for several reasons

I had the same trouble with McLaren and their 12C. Only 2 cup holders? No sale!

Microsoft gives Android punters some official SkyDrive love

TheProf
Happy

Good

Nothing to moan about here.

Oh? What?

Doctor Who to unwrap new sidekick in Christmas TV special

TheProf
Angel

Re: Oh no it isn't.

You mean you can PROVE that Time Lords don't exist?

TheProf
Gimp

Oh no it isn't.

There there, dear. You just sit down and drink your lime cordial while the people who do like the thrilling adventures of the fictitious Time Lord enjoy the 11 hours of new material they get a year.

Lords call for the end of TV transmissions

TheProf
Alien

This means war!

But how will the inhabitants of Omicron Persei 8 be able to watch 'Single Female Lawyer'?

Watch Smarter: video guide to... SSD installation

TheProf
Terminator

My mind is going............

I stopped reading a book on quantum physics to watch this. Now I'm worried that my data might be everywhere in the universe except where I expect to find it.

Totally agree with Fred Flintstone: why does 'everyone' have to produce a video when a series of pictures would be more digestible?

Watch Smarter: video guide to... optical disc drives

TheProf
Facepalm

THANK YOU! I DID NOT KNOW THAT.

Why British TV drama is crap – and why this matters to tech firms

TheProf
Unhappy

Re: You didn't like it...

Well I wouldn't have commented on it if I hadn't watched all of it. I know what commentards would say.

I also watched the one John Simm and Jim Broadbent were in. (Exile. Thanks Google.) That one was even worse! It took the 'art' of coincidence to a new level. E.G. Simm is looking through many boxes of his old cassette tapes and finds a party mix from twenty-odd years ago. As he listens to it the music cuts out and is replaced by voices that DISCLOSES IMPORTANT PLOT INFORMATION. He peels the label from the cassette and underneath is a second label that DISCLOSES IMPORTANT PLOT INFORMATION.

I, however, must be wrong about these dramas. They got glowing reviews in the grown-up newspapers. Maybe because both had characters suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Must be the sympathy vote.

TheProf

Re: TV Drama

The Shadow Line?

Was that the one in which a bomb exploded, powerful enough to blow the windows out of a clock shop, and both people in the shop stood up, brushed the dust off themselves and left? The one where there was a fight and one person was hanging from a light fitting while another person tried to kill them? (2 core cable, you know, those ones held up by two tiny brass screws.) The one where the villains smuggled heroin into the country by hiding it in the stalks of cut flowers? The one with the 'so-scary-he's almost-comedic' hit-man? The one where EVERY copper was bent and all the villains were scared of the missing crime lord's camp son?

I didn't like it. Too far fetched.

Skype so sorry for sending that saucy IM to mum instead of pash

TheProf
Megaphone

Last paragraph

"The flaw exists on multiple platforms: builds for Windows, Linux, Mac OS X, Android, iOS and Windows Phone are vulnerable."

Sky's TV-on-demand registers with regulator just hours before opening

TheProf

Re: Five-a-day (OT)

"being paid to make up numbers sounds like a cushy job - 42 16 12 3."

I'm sure someone beat you to those.

NHS trust spunks £67m on e-patient records, Twitter, Facebook

TheProf
Unhappy

Managementese

Would someone please translate this into English for me?

"that where capital funding is required to progress the workstreams, business cases would be developed to support investment decisions".

NASA counts down to nuclear tank invasion of Mars

TheProf
Happy

Thunderbirds Are Go!

"500,000 lines of cod3"

"1000 times thinner"

I've got all my fingers crossed for this one.

Lollipop Chainsaw

TheProf
Happy

Re: Sucker Punch

Not me. I've never played Infamous but I did enjoy Sucker Punch.

I also saw the phrase 'PC alligators' in the review but I think my attention was directed somewhere other than the copy.

Are you a hot BABE in heels and a short skirt? SCIENCE is for YOU

TheProf
Happy

It could have been worse

I found this much funnier than The Reg's own 'standard measurement' video. And it was mercifully shorter too.

Apple introduces 'next generation' MacBook Pro with retina display

TheProf
Devil

SD slot

What's that for then?

Ten... bits of Jubilee tat tech

TheProf
Facepalm

Mini Mouse

So I followed the link and found this example of patriotism:

£29.01 + £8.00 UK delivery

In stock. Sold by ALB Computer Germany

Strong ARM: The Acorn Archimedes is 25

TheProf
Happy

Not so basic

Even more amazing, the Lander demo was written in BBC BASIC.

I seem to remember something about the Arthur 0.2 Roms being expensive EPROMs but the 0.3 were normal 'die-cast' chips.

Sony KDL-55HX853 55in 3D LED TV

TheProf
Headmaster

Pardon?

'...Active Shutter 3D screen certainly pulls scads of detail from dimensionalised BDs....'

What does this mean? The screen pulls fish from the image? It shows the Savannah College of Art and Design when playing stereoscopic discs? It shows a lot of detail? Or none at all?

Buy a thesaurus and use it. On second thoughts, don't. The results might be discombobulating.

Watchdog bites bar over 'offensive' Facebook ad

TheProf
Megaphone

Lowering of standards

Aggghhhh! Another advert featuring a young person with it's 'gob' wide open.

Sorry. 'Gob open' adverts really are despicable.

Old-school Mars rover water findings confirmed

TheProf
Facepalm

Everywhere

Sorry if I missed it in the article but couldn't this water have come from an icy comet impact?

Descriptive Camera develops text instead of images

TheProf
Stop

Exactly what I was thinking. Why not just ask a passerby to describe the scene for you?

Lenovo U300s Ultrabook

TheProf
Windows

" A simple notch line indicates optional left- and right-click areas,"

Didn't a recent ElReg review cast aspersions on this kind of thing and it's dumb-ass users?

Panasonic DMP-BDT320 3D Blu-ray player

TheProf
Windows

Why

Why can these types of players handle all sorts of file formats from USB but not over LAN?

Amount of ice in Bering Sea reaches all-time record

TheProf

Re: "climate-Cassandra organisations such as Greenpeace"

*schoolboy errors.*

hey man lets not be sexist, schoolGIRLS make errors too.

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