* Posts by TheProf

747 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008


Microsoft warns of super-sized Patch Tuesday next week


Damnned if you do

Microsoft is fixing problems in it's programs. Is this not good news?

Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?



I have to replete, reseat, re-pleat, repeat a lot of words before Google or Cortana understand me so I can imagine the fun I'd have shouting instructions at Alexa.

Having said that I just tried Google and Cortana with 'Show me a map to Fazakerley' and they both understood what I said and made a fair stab at pronouncing 'Fazakerley'. I can't see Alexa being very good with maps however.

*The DJ title is because over the years I've never heard a non-Liverpudlian DJ correctly pronounce the name. Of course it doesn't come up that often but I put that down to said DJs binning requests from that area.

Why Comrade Cameron went all Russell Brand on the UK’s mobile networks


Re: 'Normal Collier'?

Yes it s ould be Norman. My typing is subject to sud en dropo ts and less t an pe fect err r cor ecti n.


You call is brrrrrrrrrrrrr

At least one network can't even hand over a call from England to Wales.

A friend of mine regularly calls me as he drives across the border and we usually have a LOS as he does so. The sound quality starts to 'Dalek' then it goes 'Normal Collier' then it's dial tone time. How we laugh every time it happens.

I can't remember which network he's with but it doesn't matter, they're all rubbish aren't they.

Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD stands


The Amazing Spider-Man 2

You mean to tell it's not just Sony who make electronic goods?

BBC clamps down on illicit iPlayer watchers


Still available

get_iplayer still works but the search and PVR functions are broken. If you want to access iPlayer programmes you now have to manually search iPlayer and plug the resulting pid code into get-iplayer. It's a fiddly workaround but it works.

Hey, iPhone 6 fanbois: Apple's bonk to 'Pay' app IS GO


Always nice to read a cogent opinion.

Slap for SnapChat web app in SNAP mishap: '200,000' snaps sapped


Re: A question

"Couldn't be arsed reading the rest of your nonsense..."

Ooh! Have we had a bad day Dear?

Doctor Who becomes an illogical, unscientific, silly soap opera in Kill The Moon


The end

I'm hoping that the finale ties this disappointing (so far) season up with a brilliant 'ah, it all makes sense now' moment. There was a shot near the end when Capaldi's expression altered enough to signal, to me, that there was something deeper going on.

As for Kill The Moon...It's the first time I felt the characters were in any danger of dying. That the monster was a legitimate threat. But, once again, the story at times felt rushed or slow, usually in the wrong place.

Loved the new design space suits. The moon base looked good from the outside and the black Lanzarote sand made for an interesting moonscape.

It was the first episode in which Danny Pink hasn't annoyed me! Well not as much.

It looks like it's just us who aren't enjoying Who.


Our Vultures peck at new Doctor Who: Exterminate or, er ... carrion?


Re: Another transformation?

I agree! Because putting a woman in charge has never, ever, been a wrong move.

IRONY ALERT: Former MI6 chief warns of 'mass snooping' - by PAEDOS



What he says could right, if a little 'alarmist'. Just because he has a 'dubious' reputation doesn't mean his message is false.

Move over, Apple Pay: Tesco trials PayQwiq phone-flash pay app


Re: Sounds like a non starter

I always use cash at those 'you do all the hard work, we pick up the profit' tills. They're great for getting rid of a pound or two in loose copper.

Yes it is me causing the long queue of people waiting to pay. The supermarkets have changed the coin input from a hopper to a slot. It now takes ages putting the pennies in one at a time.

Moon landing was real and WE CAN PROVE IT, says Nvidia


They're fake!

I don't believe conspiracy theorists exist.


Re: models

Silver miniskirts? You're thinking of UFO. And so am I.

Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things


Re: Oxymoron alert!

If they really want to piss people off, Coldplay.

'Duck face' selfie in SPAAAACE: Rosetta's snap with bird comet


Re: Of course, there's one important question...

Good point. I believe NASA made all or at least some of their 'space photographs' public domain. Considering these are 'commissioned' using money from the public purse I'd hope that 'we' own the copyright.

Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch


At the third stroke

"When you get down to it, lifting your wrist to your face is not much more convenient than reaching into a pocket."

When I get down to it, yes it is. Reading my wristwatch is easy. If I'm standing it's left arm up, glance at analogue display, left arm down. I'm typing this on my laptop and I can see the display if I just tilt my head to the left.

If my phone is in my pocket it's reach into pocket, extract slippery phone, rotate phone around several times to put the screen at the front and the power button on the left, press the power button, wait for that slight delay while it fires up and then read the time. Put phone back in pocket.

Still it's not as if people get mugged flashing expensive phones in public.

Oh and the Apple watch looks boring.

iPHONEY: Fake iPhone 6 images splattered over Chinese internet


Re: The gentleman's thumb may simply be protecting his own career...............

He's just holding it wrong.

Primetime precrime? Minority Report TV series 'being developed'


Re: Can't wait to miss that

Oh it was awful. Cruise fights of a dozen jet-pack wearing cattle prod wielding coppers. Cruise fights off a bunch of heavies in a car factory while big scary spot welding robots build a car about him which he drives off in at the end of the fight. The murderer tips his hand by not passing off the vital clue as a glitch in the precog system but instead contrives a whole conspiracy to get Cruise off the case.

They put people in SUSPENDED ANIMATION as a PUNISHMENT. (See also Tek Wars and some Stallone movie.) It was worse than I Robot!

Now the short story was effing brilliant.

Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE


Scanning Photodisk

Full frame camera with a macro lens. It won't be cheap.

Rupert Murdoch says Google is worse than the NSA


Re: Anyone can play!

Your grammar is too good.

Murdoch worse than ebola.

Check your Clungene, Irish women warned


I thought it came from the BBC TV programme "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin" (1970's). I remember it being used by a Scottish gardener as in 'Up yer clunge!'

I also expect to be corrected for getting this whole memory wrong.

BAD VIBES: High-speed video camera records your voice from trash



Nice to see something on here that isn't asking for crowdfunding.

Orange spent weekend spamming customers with TXTs


Re: Pah, at least they're Orange customers

I ported my number to T-Mobile from Orange too. I don't get these Magic Number texts but I do get offers to buy tickets for shows. I tried texting the 'stop annoying me you feckers' number but was informed that it wasn't available from my number!

I'm currently enjoying a borked attempt to transfer my number to Vodafone. Will I continue to be one of Orange's favoured customers?

When the robot rebellion comes, this Jibo droid will BORE you to death


I like it

And I shall buy one for all my facebook friends.

Google Glass faces UK cinema ban: Heaven forbid someone films you crying in a rom-com



The last* 'pirated' film I watched was The King's Speech and it had a notice that appeared at the bottom of the screen at regular intervals informing me that it was the property of XYZ film company©®.

The image and sound were excellent. Obviously the copy had been made from a digital source before the film hit the cinemas. I doubt a ban on wobbly head-mounted cameras will do much to stem the tide of hooky dvds.

*Out of two in total. The King's Speech was good but I wouldn't have paid to see it. Not my kind of film. The first was Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. I paid nothing to watch it but still felt cheated!

Drone's drug airdrop mission ends in failure for Irish prisoners


String 'em up.

If they just dump the drugs in the yard for the inmates to pick up (what are the guards doing?) why not use a trebuchet? Much classier if you arrange for the Sealed Knot to be performing in the area.

Facebook goes TITSUP across WORLD! Who will look at your cousin's baby NOW?


Not worried

I can still access the Scrabble app through my tablet.

YOU'RE HISTORY: Ancestry.com goes titsup for TWO DAYS


Bloody men!

"I bet all those dads are the real reason behind the attacks just like the attacks that happen every single Christmas," one woman wrote.

Internet of Things fridges? Pfft. So how does my milk carton know when it's empty?


Re: There is very little doubt

Your surround sound is only 7.1? Pth!

UK govt preps World War 2 energy rationing to keep the lights on


twas ever thus

I know it used to be that industrial-size gas users were offered a discount on their bill if they signed up to a 'lights out' agreement. This was the case when I joined the industry in 1979. These new measures seem to be a continuation of that agreement.

Fantastic fantasy four-way fling – and family-friendly fun



Who's in the what now?

Laser deflector shields possible with today's tech – but there's one small problem



Has anyone built a powerful enough laser to warrant the use of shields? Or a spaceship that needs shielding?

Sorry if the answer was in the video but it was so boring.......

Denmark dynamited by cunning American Minecraft vandals


The Doctor says....

"Sad really, isn't it? People spend all their time making nice things, and other people come along and break them."

French software developers are all beautiful women


The worst thing in the world.

Is this going to spark off a 'Twitterstorm'? I do enjoy reading about them.

Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM


Maybe nobody else asked.

Meanwhile, far below the throbbing Londonopolis streets in the secret headquarters of NESTA.

I say Carruthers, no-one has applied for a grant and if we don't pay out some of our budget before the end of the year we'll get the chop.

Crikey Fortescue, you absolutely right. We're doomed.

Hold on, what's that stuck to the bottom of your tea cup?

What? Oh! I say! It's a request thingy. Some woman called Lily wants two hundred-thousand pounds.

What for?

Does it matter?


Samsung slurps up full charge in 30 seconds with bio-battery


Re: What about heat?

That's probably why there's an industrial scale cooler running just out of sight. Well what else can explain the 'wind tunnel' soundtrack?

Seagate brings out 6TB HDD, did not need NO STEENKIN' shingles


That's a new one.

" pre-announced"? What, so they didn't actually 'announce' a new drive?

I hope that they soon pre-announce the availability to place a pre-order for the pre-production product.

Too late, Blighty! Samsung boffins claim breakthrough graphene manufacturing success


The Fountains of Paradise.

All we have to do now is move Sri Lanka a little further south and start work on the 'space elevator'.

HIDDEN OCEAN of LIVING SOUP found on Enceladus, moon of Saturn


2010: Odyssey Two

Well as there's already life on Europa why not on Enceladus too?

(Where's the literary reference icon?)

EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?


I usually forget what I went in there for if I have to hunt around for, err, whatever. Do I know you?

Vulture wraps claws around Elgato Thunderbolt Drive+ portable SSD

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Psssst. Don't tell the Bride, but BBC Three is about to be jilted



Actually, looking at the BBC's figures, does anyone think that BBC2 is worth almost 5 times what BBC3 costs? Or BBC1 12 times?


Kill off BBC3

And that's where we find the space for a mooted BBC1+.

Or the BBC could merge BBC3, CBBC, CBeebies and BBC Parliament and keep all the loud shouting confined to one channel.




Is this 'Best Smartphone' in the same way that ITV is 'Channel of the Year'?

Official: British music punter still loves plastic


Re: Yeah no.

Of course nobody who just played CDs in a CD player had any trouble with naughty root kits.


Re: Not too surprised

The recent lost Doctor Who DVDs didn't have any VAM extras either. They were however in whatever the standard SD horizontal resolution is as opposed to the reduced count that iTunes pumped out. (Or so I've been informed. I'm not in a position to peer into the garden.)


Re: Any explanation

£8.78 at BASE.com, £9.30 at AMAZON.com. Perhaps shopping around might help you.

I do wonder why the download is £10.49 at AMAZON.

Hell is other people ... Thousands play same Pokemon game on TV. Mayhem ensues


In the words of Ned Flanders

"Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy & Chimpy I've ever seen."


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019