* Posts by TheProf

743 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008


Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?


Re: How many...

I once complained about an advert.

It was for an 'Italian' margarine. Two elderly women picnicking on a beach kicked their dog which ran off and stole the towel from a young man who was using it to change beneath after a swim. The two laughing women then photographed the naked man.

The ASA eventually wrote back presenting the findings of their investigation. Amongst the complaints they'd received were:

Stereotyping of Italians:

Cruelty to a dog.

Humiliation of a young man by two elderly women.

The ASA rejected all the complaints because the advert was obviously intended to be humorous.

I failed to see the joke.

Leaky battery attack reveals the paths you walk in life


Much easier

If you want to know where a phone user is just call them.


Game of Moans: Sky coughs to BORKED set top box BALLS-UP



"Unsurprisingly, after hearing from The Register on Monday, Sky promised to release a new update today."

Jeepers! You must wield a mighty stick in tech circles if you can get a problem fixed with one phone call. Any chance of you sorting out the Greek financial problem?

To Explain the World, Girl in a Band and A Spool of Blue Thread


A strange choice.

"'The Whitshanks were not remarkable in any way whatsoever,' she writes. Ms Tyler damns herself from the outset… then pray why write about them, Anne?"

Then pray why write a review about a book about them, Mark?

BEHOLD the magnificent lunar backside in our MOON VIDEO



Dark as in 'unknown' not dark as in 'unlit'. The same way Africa used to be called the Dark Continent.

Sorry, I know, boring comment.

Toshiba packs NUMERIC KEYPAD onto self-bricking USB drive


Re: Right...

Want to buy an extension cable and a pencil?

Bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orbs? Are you kidding?


Re: Blimey!

"This could change the way people do laundry" followed by the 'cha-chunk' sound of a pump-action shotgun.

Now I'm interested.

Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database


Kill the messenger.

Apart from being 6 weeks behind The Register what have the BBC done to deserve another snippy article?

They certainly didn't "claim(ing) a scoop". I heard 'The BBC has learned' but no mention of a scoop.

Newsnight certainly didn't defend the police. Both guests in the studio attacked the police in this matter. In fact only the police officer put up any sort of defence of their behaviour.

What did we learn from Newsnight? Depends who you are. El Reg readers: probably not so much. Newsnight viewers: probably enough to have their opinion of the police taken down another notch.

What have we learned from El Reg? Well I've learned that tabloid tactics aren't just used by the print media.

Death becomes it: Grim Fandango Remastered


The old version

I've recently been playing the original version and it looks good on my 24" widescreen monitor. I didn't think it needed any 'remastering' but it's nice to know that it's once again available to purchase.

I'm one of those impatient people who wants to get on with the story so I've used a walk-through more often than a genuine puzzle fan would do. I'm full of admiration for people who can play the game without cheating.

That said I still found the game frustrating. There's one part in the undersea section where one has to click a very small and far away item at exactly the right moment. Miss it and there's a (what seems like forever) wait until the object is in the right place again. That kind of 'picky' action tends to put me off a game.

I go back to it occasionally because it looks good, sounds good, and it's funny.

Now I want to give Starship Titanic another chance.

Wheeee! BT preps for FIVE HUNDRED MEGABIT broadband trial


You're right! The other 80% of the population should wait until you've caught up with them.


Re: If....

Do you mean you think BT should run fibre optic cables up a telegraph post and then dangle one across to each property?

Do fibre optics take kindly to that sort of treatment?

Landlines: The tech that just won't die


Call filtering

A problem is that a lot of phone calls from institutions don't have a caller ID for the filtering system to pick up.

I've had several NUMBER NOT AVAILABLE or WITHHELD displays on the phone that turned out to be important calls from hospitals or credit card companies.

Also some bogus insurance calls are using fake numbers. I've been getting ones starting with 0151, the prefix for Merseyside numbers.

Wizard of Oz OFFICIALLY 'most significant movie' EVER, says PNAS


Call a Doctor

Are you sure the picture isn't from Doctor Who?

The colour scheme looks suitably garish.

A TARDIS console.

Bloke with long white hair.

Frock coat.

Annoying female assistant.

Crap robot.

Even crapper 'man in a rubber suit' monsters.


Want a cheap Office-er-riffic tablet? Microsoft Windows takes on Android


More a review of Windows than the tablet.

I was tempted to get one of these but one user review mentioned that it had a plastic screen. Out of all the 'professional' reviews I've read not one mentioned the screen material. However they all mentioned the 'odd button placement'.

Considering that the screen is the main input device I'd like to know what it's made of (I know it's not Gorilla glass 'cos everyone mentions that!) how it feels to drag a finger across it, whether it 'feels right' and what the image looks like.

Nice to know that it comes in sleeved sturdy box!

Acer Chromebook 13: The best Googletop on the market?


One for dad

This sounds ideal for my dad. He only uses his current laptop for internet stuff. I don't think he's got any 'proper' programs loaded.

Bloke in Belgium tries to trademark Je Suis Charlie slogan


Re: Brave, or stupid?

So you're worried you won't be able to pick-up your copy as usual? Perhaps now is the time to subscribe.



Re: C'mon El Reg, play fair.

If The Register had asked for more information and been refused then there would have been a story. If they'd got an interview and a look at the tech, then, again, there would have been a story.

As it stands this is either a silly waste of time (by at least one party) or just a bad joke (by at least one party.)

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Eight pocket-pleasing USB 3.0 hard drives


Re: Not enough power!

I did that too. Took the drive out of a Toshiba model. It was a standard SATA connector and fitted into my laptop with no trouble at all. It worked out cheaper than buying a bare drive.

One thing impressed me with the Tosh case was the activity light. Plugged into a USB3 port and it glows blue. In a USB2 port it's white.

Tesco preps for Big Data Engine dump: Laters, Clubcard dev


Not a great experience

I've cut back my shopping at Tesco because:

they 'improved' my local store and imbued it with all the charm of the security gate at an airport;

they failed to have shopping baskets at the entrance on every other visit;

they almost invariably forgot to add on the 'green bonus' points when I took my own shopping bag;

they put men's toiletries and men's magazines at 'pinch-points' meaning I had to keep dodging aggressive women with lethal trolleys.

Still not as awful an experience as my local ASDA but they have seriously lost their way. I'm always impressed with how nice Sainsbury's is.

Music fans FUME over PJ Harvey ticket CHAOS as Somerset House site buckles


I'll try again to comment

I don't know if I was moderated out of existence or I forgot to post before but here goes.

I don't know, in my day I had to go to the box office and queue to get tickets to see a band. Sometimes I queued in the rain. Sometimes all the tickets sold out before I got to the kiosk.

And today some people moan because they have to refresh the screen every 5 seconds for half-an-hour.

I blame twitter.

Elite:Dangerous goes TITSUP


Re: I'm not a programmer.

Thanks for the comments. I think I have a better understanding of the 'game' now. Big universe, big graphics and real-time interactions.

As I said it was the up-front cost that stopped me buying in. That said wasn't the BBC game £14.99 in the late 80's. That's about £44 now and the game looks so much better.

Another point: why did I get down votes on my original post?


I'm not a programmer.

I watched a video on YouTube of a real human player in a life-or-death tussle with another real human player. It was interesting to the point of me almost signing up for the game. It's just the £40 price tag. I've never paid that much for a game. I'm the wait 6 months and get it for a tenner type. Yep, a cheapskate.

As I said I don't programme but how difficult could it be to 'snapshot' the initial starting conditions and let players fly around in their own private universe? They managed to squeeze the original game into a BBC micro so I can't understand the reluctance of Frontier to offer an 'arcade' version.

Apple's 16GB iPhones are a big fat lie, claims iOS 8 storage hog lawsuit


Re: Dumb

Hmm? Would you be more specific.

Let it go, let it go ... Sales of games, video and music up for second year


Follow the money

'Disney’s Frozen video, which sold over 4 million copies, 50 per cent more than the best-selling FIFA 15 video game.'

A quick look on Amazon lists Frozen as under £10 and FIFA15 at more than £30.

So 4 million Frozen at say £10 is £40 million

2.65 million FIFA15 at say £30 is £80 million. (Figures rounded.)

Frozen may be massively out-selling FIFA but the money is going to the football game.

Here's Johnny! Top Ten fantasy Blu-ray boxsets and special editions


Yer wat?

'The stories may be hockey, '

Hockey? Did you mean 'Hokum' or are we witness to the birth of an OED 'word of the year'?

Reg man confesses: I took my wife out to choose a laptop for Xmas. NOOOO



Should have gone for a coffee maker. Oh, wait. Tassimo? Senseo? Nespresso?

Does she not like shoes?

Gets wallet.

Shock! Nork-grating flick The Interview WILL be in cinemas – Sony


And the winner is.............

The Naked Gun.

Frustration with Elite:Dangerous boils over into 'Refund Quest'



I now want to play I-War. It's old and not very Elite-like (no trading) but it's a fun single player space war game. Available from online retailers.

(Can we have an FB Spaceship icon please?)

The Great Unwatched: BBC hails glorious digital future for Three


I don't watch anything on BBC3

and lately I've found bugger all on any of their other channels either.

Maybe it's my fault. Perhaps I should cultivate an interest in dancing/baking/celebrity/animals and anything with the words 'Great' or 'British' in the title.

Confused about 5G? So are we, say carriers


5G for Dummies

Here's a quick Tomorrow's World style look at 5G.


No technical details so don't expect to be enlightened.

Feast your eyes: 10 'fortysomething' smart TVs


Slight tangent

I have a 'smart' Sony TV that has Demand5 on it. The other night I tried to watch Gotham on Demand5 but it wasn't listed as a catch-up programme. I eventually linked the laptop to the TV and watched it that way.

The following evening I fired up the Sony PS3 and out of curiosity checked the Demand5 app. Gotham was listed and I played the first few minutes to check if it worked. It did. I checked the TV app again and Gotham was missing.

My question to the panel is: Why does the same catch-up app offer different programmes on different devices?

Orion 'Mars' ship: Cosmic ray guard? Go. Parachutes? Go. Spacerock shield? Go!



Ah! So it's a model of the Orion in it's launch configuration that Howard (Big Bang Theory) has recently acquired.

He also has a Space 1999 Eagle model.

It's a quiet day!

Men, Women and Children: Shows how crap the internet is via the medium of crap film


A confession

I have never watched a film containing Adam Sandler.

God, didn't I suffer enough when you inflicted Jim Carrey on the world?

Boffins train robots to pull apart LCD screens – without breaking them


Re: Eh?

Another boring YouTube video. Why don't these boffins* learn to edit before they post? Do we really need to see the robot make half a dozen attempts to take the back off a monitor? Show it cutting once and move on.

(I only watched the first 2 minutes so please don't tell me if helicopters arrive and Hellfire the monitor into oblivion in the third reel.)

*Not just boffins. A twenty minute video of unboxing a phone/camera/Batman statuette? AGGH!

Lame phone dodgers fleece finance's foolish and fat fingered


Sorry wrong number

"If they pick up and claim to be your organisation, well then it's pretty-well certain they're fraudsters and you should call your telco."

Yeah and they're using numbers pretty close to your telco's so don't misdial.

You know those WEIRD glass sheds in New York? They'll be replaced with Gbps WiFi


Re: New jobs?

Can I suggest 'buggy-whip makers'? Unless they are riddled with bugs in which case carry on!

Pics in SPAAAACE!: Hasselblad sells for $275,000


Re: I still remember taking my first shot with a Hasselblad

Ha! I managed to jam one up at a photo show. The 'Blad rep gave me the 'your'e not doing it right you doofus' look. He then couldn't turn the crank and had to dismantle the thing to fix whatever I'd done to his battleship.

Later on that day I upset a Leica rep by telling him his very expensive SLR made a hell of a lot more noise than I'd expect for the price.

Ahh those were the days. Complain about noisy digital cameras and they tell you it comes out in the Photoshop wash!

I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm


Re: @Sorry that

I take it you've not read 'The Female Eunuch' then?

Ms Greer's (all praise her name) 'feminist' does not want equality with men for that requires women to fit into the mould created by man.

Ms Greer's (all praise her name) 'feminism' decrees that society should be torn down and rebuilt in the image of woman.

Equality doesn't enter into it.

Assassin's Creed bugs shift setting to LSD-drenched 1960s Paris


Wrong game

Surely this it a promo for an Inception video game.

Bouncy bouncy: Comet probot Philae landed twice


"I do think that the press coverage of all this is a tad light. "

I agree but 'news' today is more about human interest stories. Sky News did 15 minutes at 7 o'clock which surprised me. Firstly because it was Sky and secondly that I actively sought it out because the BBC were doing a very serious piece from Lebanon. Or Syria. Or Jordan. I forget which.

Patch Windows boxes NOW – unless you want to be owned by a web page or network packet



Oh yes I missed the ElReg article. They should have put a more enticing headline and picture on it.



Thank you commentards. I updated EMET to 5.1 and IE now runs.

So why wasn't EMET automatically updated? Oh yes, Microsoft blah blah blah!



IE crashes for me too. It appears to run OK in Safe Mode were one can disable all those lovely plug-ins etc. Doesn't help me. It still crashes on full fat windows 7

EMET may be catching something but I don't know if it's bad or just bad code.

** EMET 5.0: EMET detected EAF+(GuardPage) mitigation and will close the application :IEXPLORE.EXE **



Re: First Hand?

I hope her review is more positive than the ones she gave Doctor Who.

Interstellar: An awesome sci-fi spectacle – just cut the hamminess, please


Re: Can i suggest...

Damn! I've got the theme from The Black Hole stuck in my head. I'll have to excavate the DVD and watch it now.

Microsoft warns of super-sized Patch Tuesday next week


Damnned if you do

Microsoft is fixing problems in it's programs. Is this not good news?

Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?



I have to replete, reseat, re-pleat, repeat a lot of words before Google or Cortana understand me so I can imagine the fun I'd have shouting instructions at Alexa.

Having said that I just tried Google and Cortana with 'Show me a map to Fazakerley' and they both understood what I said and made a fair stab at pronouncing 'Fazakerley'. I can't see Alexa being very good with maps however.

*The DJ title is because over the years I've never heard a non-Liverpudlian DJ correctly pronounce the name. Of course it doesn't come up that often but I put that down to said DJs binning requests from that area.

Why Comrade Cameron went all Russell Brand on the UK’s mobile networks


Re: 'Normal Collier'?

Yes it s ould be Norman. My typing is subject to sud en dropo ts and less t an pe fect err r cor ecti n.

Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD stands


The Amazing Spider-Man 2

You mean to tell it's not just Sony who make electronic goods?


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