* Posts by TheProf

733 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Astroboffins may have found the first exomoon lurking beyond the Solar System

TheProf

You just wouldn't let it lie.

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Send up a satellite to zap space junk if you want Earth's orbit to be clean, say boffins

TheProf
Mushroom

Space 1999

What we really need are a few nuclear bombs in synchronous orbit being detonated, err, synchronously. That'll produce a compression wave that'll push all the low mass debris downwards towards the Earth and so cause it to be snagged by the upper atmosphere.

Or it'll blow the Moon out of orbit. One way or the other it should be a pretty spectacular sight.

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Nameless Right To Be Forgotten Google sueball man tries Court of Appeal – yet again

TheProf

squaremilenews.blogspot.com

It's OK Google. We know where to look him up now.

If Google do 'delete' their records of him, can I just Bing for info on him?

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NASA 'sextortionist' allegedly tricked women into revealing their password reset answers, stole their nude selfies

TheProf
Facepalm

It's not rocket science

Why do people put 'compromising' images on 'social media' websites?

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Huawei first to preview its 7nm phone SoC – the HiSilicon Kirin 980

TheProf
Unhappy

Hot Dog?

What's the Hot Dog thing? I can't get the video.

(Using Opera VPN. Americas, Asia and Europe all fail.)

On second thoughts don't tell me. It's probably going to become a meme (and or 'viral') and it'll be plastered over every 'news' website in the next few days.

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Cobbler feels the shoe-leather: An IP address is still not a human

TheProf

Pixels

I enjoyed Pixels enough to buy the company disc! It must be because it's heavy on the CGI and computer games imagery.

Sandler is a poor leading man but so is, in my opinion, Tom Cruise and he seems to make a lot of films.

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The future of humanity: A Bluetooth ball hitting your face – forever

TheProf
Devil

The ball's gone flat

Just imagine a petulant child picking up the ball and declaring "It's my ball and I'm going home! To recharge it."

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Samsung Galaxy Watch: A tough and classy activity tracker

TheProf
Windows

"sexual conquistador"

Dammit! I want that watch!!

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I predict a riot: Amazon UK chief foresees 'civil unrest' for no-deal Brexit

TheProf

Re: I was pro-remain, but this really is "Project Fear" at work.

"alternative of Labour"

"The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."

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Sad Nav: How a cheap GPS spoofer gizmo can tell drivers to get lost

TheProf
Go

The Rout of Civilisation

Just think, they can now falsely direct a vehicle down a too-narrow lane, across a river without using a bridge, the wrong way down a one-way street, across fields, under bridges that are too low and all the other things that real GPS does to vehicles.

It'll be wonderful!

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Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know?

TheProf
Devil

@A K Stiles

The time recorder at one place I worked used decimal hours and 'clicked' every 36 seconds. I'm not ashamed to say I'd stand there waiting for it to click over before clocking out. After all what's 1/100 of an hour to a big company?

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Foot lose: Idiot perv's shoe-mounted upskirt vid camera explodes

TheProf

shoe-mounted camera?

"gimpy perp had bought a shoe-mounted camera "

A shoe-mounted camera? That's a very specialised piece of equipment. Does it come under the purview of Dolcis or Dixons?

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Jimmy Hill feted in Shoreditch

TheProf

Looks like Pob

And again: Looks like Pob to me.

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Infamous 'Dancing Baby' copyright battle settled just before YouTube tot becomes a teen

TheProf

You missed the bit

I must have done. I'll re-read.

I also read about Fair Use. (Comment upon, criticize, or parody a copyrighted work.)

Yep, I still wouldn't have got myself involved in a fight with a big company over something so trivial. I would have had nothing to gain personally and a great deal of pain ahead of me. ("In other words, this 11-year court battle has not really resolved anything and we can expect to see another one on the exact same topic soon.")

Still, it's nice to know that having taken on Prince and his publishers this woman is back to square one. Oh wait, her video is still on-line. WIN!

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TheProf

What I'd have done

Taken the video down.

Removed the audio.

Reposted it.

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10

An AI a day keeps the doctor away... Neural net software gets better at clocking cancer tumors

TheProf
Joke

Perspective

In the accompanying picture is George Lucas small or far away?

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Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield

TheProf
Facepalm

Ah!

"To put 3MW in perspective, that's roughly the yield of the rooftop array on BMW Mini plant in Oxford."

I love it when someone explains something abstract in an easy to understand manner.

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British egg producers saddened by Google salad emoji update

TheProf
Facepalm

.

.

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I see a satellite of a man ... Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, that's now 4 sats fit to go

TheProf
Joke

Receiving the signal

Will I need a new phone/sat nav to use this new system or will it be easier to just move abroad now?

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Dual-screen laptops debut at Asus' Computex chat

TheProf
Trollface

You may laugh now

But wait until Apple invent this in 3 years time.

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UK Foreign Sec BoJo asks tech firms to save endangered species

TheProf

Lord Snooty.

He has a couple of stories in my Beano Annual 2011.

You might not recognise him though, he's been given a modern makeover. (No top hat, no tailcoat etc.) In fact he looks just like a young Futurama Philip J. Fry.

The addition of a saucy French maid, Fifi, is the only redeeming feature.

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You have suffered without red-headed emoji for too long. That changes Tuesday

TheProf
Facepalm

More???

I can never find the right one now. I know I've seen it somewhere but after looking through the 8 pages of them my phone offers me I can't remember why I need it.

I think I'll have a browse through the animated GIFS. There's bound to be one that expresses my exact thought.

5
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BCC is hard, OK? Quite a lot of orgs blurted your email addresses in GDPR mailouts

TheProf

Twitter

I don't use Twitter so I don't know if giving out one's Twitter name is a silly thing or not. Does publishing one's name in a rant about email addresses make sense?

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Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

TheProf

Re: Better Option

@CrazyOldCatMan

Ewww!

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OnePlus smartmobe brand modelled on 'a religion', founder admits

TheProf

the extra £150?

I make the difference £70 (469-399) but it's a long time since I left school and I know they teach sums differently now.

Maybe some people are prepared to pay £70 more for this years top o' the range processor chip, extra RAM and a wee bit more screen.

OnePlus 6+64GB = £469 6.28" 2280 x 1080 Snapdragon 845

Nokia 4+64GB = £399 5.3" 2560 x 1440 Snapdragon 835

Honor 4+64GB = £399 5.84" 2280 x 1080 Kirin 970

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America's forgotten space station and a mission tinged with urine, we salute you

TheProf

Re: I hope..

Thanks @PhilBuk.

I don't recall seeing the film you suggest but it's on YouTube and I'll watch it this weekend.

I'm sure the film I can't recall it was a fictional account of something significant being launched. Oh God! I hope I haven't imagined it! (No it wasn't When Worlds Collide.)

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TheProf
Unhappy

Re: I hope..

Help required!!

"could have been used to feed hungry people"

I remember the scene in a film where a group of protesters are stopped at one of the security gates just before the launch of (I think) Apollo 11. The gist of the scene is that they'd rather the government spent money on the poor instead of blasting it into space. I think the NASA official defuses the situation by asking the protesters if they really think that cancelling the space programme would really help the poor.

For the life of me I can't recall what the film is.

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TheProf
Headmaster

the final crewed mission of the Mercury programme

Crewed? What's wrong with manned? Oh yes, that can be plural too. Hmm. Piloted? Yes, seeing as they did use pilots to fly the craft.

Fly? Oh this is getting silly.

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And THIS is how you do it, Apple: Huawei shames Cupertino with under-glass sensor

TheProf
Unhappy

an under-glass fingerprint sensor.

And there was me expecting to see an under-display fingerprint sensor.

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Navy names new attack sub HMS Agincourt

TheProf

Thinks.......

"Once we have Neutrino detectors in satellites"

Hmmm.... Big Euro-fuss over the Galileo satellite system..... Brexit bounders want to build The Great British Positioning Satellite system......

How many birds do you think they'll need to launch to spot all the enemy subs?

0
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Virtue singing – Spotify to pull hateful songs and artists

TheProf
Angel

how the hell they named a major airport

Well obviously it was because the logo was already designed so they saved a lot of money straight away.

There are other plans for Beatle renaming:

Lime Street Station is to become Ringo Starr's End of the Line.

The Two Mersey Tunnels will be now known as the George Harrison's Underground and

Mersey Ferries are becoming Uncle Paul's Great Big Mystical Yellow Ferry Riving Crossings Ltd.

Gerry Marsden is pressing for the Ferris wheel to be named after him but it's a rather slender hope.

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Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

TheProf
Happy

Vinyl tinted glasses

Yeah! Playing Bring It On Home is so much easier on vinyl.

Hold 12" sleeve gently in one hand and slip the inner liner out. Repeat above to extract vinyl and holding the record by the edges carefully examine the paper label to find out which side the required track is on. Holding record in one hand use the other hand to lift lid of record player. Place disc on turntable and commence decontamination routine. (Varies between users but dust and static elimination is usually required.)

Set turntable to required speed and carefully lift record arm off cradle and, squinting in the poor light, try to locate the 2mm wide space between tracks and gingerly place stylus on the record surface. Lift record arm and try again until correct track is found. Close turntable lid and retire to comfy chair for 8 minutes of listening bliss.

The alternative is a remote control for your CD player that has enough buttons on it to look ridiculous be useful.

G**gle this Sony RM-D7M and prepare to be amazed. (It's for a Minidisc player.)

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TheProf

Re: >> Thats why you play CDs on a PC

"buy a new PC just to play music"

You could pop into Argos and buy an external DVD writer. With even more cables think of the fun you'll have.

22
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AI crisis: Sony reports shortage of cute robot puppies!

TheProf
Devil

Re: Academic research

" new research programmes around it when Sony, unaware of this imminent revenue stream, pulled the plug."

Sony probably found out that someone had put LINUX on it and was using it for 'piracy'.

6
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New Monty Python movie to turn old jokes into new royalties

TheProf
Pint

Been done before

The Mel Brooks film The Producers (1967) that led to the musical play based on the film The Producers (2001) that lead to the film based on the musical play based on the film The Producers (2005).

Good for the Pythons! If they (continue to?) make more money than the current crap crop of funny people then good on 'em.

Of course I'm still waiting for the Marx Brothers revival.

Edit: Ah what @Jay 2 said.

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if dev == woman then dont_be(asshole): Stack Overflow tries again to be more friendly to non-male non-pasty coders

TheProf
Headmaster

Re: Maybe a silly question, but...

With the title of the research paper being "Paradise Unplugged: Identifying Barriers for Female Participation on Stack Overflow" I think it would be safe to assume that the researchers went looking for females with a story to tell.

"In summary, the three research questions we want to answer through this study are:

• RQ1 : What barriers do females face on Stack Overflow?

• RQ2 : How do barriers vary by gender?

• RQ3 : How do the rating of barriers vary by other factors,such as site usage and experience?"

Next week: Why do so few men contribute to Mumsnet?

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4

Can't log into your TSB account? Well, it's your own fault for trying

TheProf
Pint

Movie time

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen was enjoyed? Out of the 3 (the others being CE3K and The Fisher King) I'd have thought that was the least likely to be enjoyed. I like it but that's because I like Gilliam's work. And it has Uma Thurman in it.

I've just borrowed and watched Aliens, Total Recall and John Carpenter's The Thing. And now I recall why I haven't bought my own copy of these exciting 1980's (loosely speaking) films.

Perhaps someone could enlighten me as to why a commercial space tug has a 'self-destruct' mechanism? And assuming a logical reason can be made for such a device, why does activating it fill all the corridors leading away from the control room with steam? And how come the escape shuttle won't take 4 people when there were 7 members in the crew?

7
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TheProf

Just find a reliable local boiler engineer.

And that's easy because they ALL claim to be reliable.

4
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Guess who's still most moaned about UK ISP... Rhymes with BorkBork

TheProf
Happy

Re: Talk rhymes with Bork?

"It's easier to just nod tiredly and move on when they attempt to "correct" other groups of people who also use English to communicate."

Ah. You've failed to notice the British laughing into their warm beer when you dear Americans try to pronounce the word 'Edinburgh'. That's marvellous.

Tinkity Tonk!

5
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Huawei P20 Pro: Triple-lens shooter promises the Earth ...

TheProf
Black Helicopters

Re: Red Snow

Holy Crap!

The right facing side of the building is blue. BLUE I tells ya!

Except for that little sticky-out bit of the building at the front. It's a sort of red-blue mix as if it were also lit by red light reflected by the snow.

This photograph is obviously a fake and it proves that NASA never landed a man on the Moon.

1
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2018's Lenovo ThinkPad X1 Carbon laptop is a lovely lappie

TheProf
Unhappy

Pictures please

"giant Kit-Kat-sized power adapter"

This is the bit I found most interesting but you didn't supply a picture.

Shame on you. Poor journalism, moan, gripe etc.

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2001: A Space Odyssey has haunted pop culture with anxiety about rogue AIs for half a century

TheProf

Rogue AI

Clarke puts a reason for the behaviour of HAL in the follow-up novel '2010'. HAL was just following conflicting orders as best he could when his programming had been tampered with i.e making the 'mission' (not necessarily the scientific one) more important than the crew.

I feel sorry for HAL. Being blamed when it was actually the fault of those pesky humans.

24
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TheProf
Alien

Re: For more details....

You beat me to it. It's a book well worth a read. I recall a discussion about aliens with tentacles in place of fingers. Little wonder aliens didn't make an appearance.

I think the glass pyramid idea was dropped because of the technical difficulties of filming a large piece of light refracting material.

Must find my, by now, yellow copy of The Lost Worlds...(No, it's not for sale!)

8
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Corking story: Idiotic smart wine bottle idea falls over, passes out

TheProf
Windows

Pump It Up

Vacuvin Wine Saver. Less than a tenner at Amazon at the time of writing.

Or why not ask a friend or even a total stranger to help you finish the bottle? It's a great way to meet new people.

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Flight Simulator's DRM fighter nosedives into Chrome's cache

TheProf

Re: Unreal

Boggles the mind

Surely you mean Biggles the mind.

22
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Facial recognition software easily IDs white men, but error rates soar for black women

TheProf
Meh

Contrast

Could this be a problem with the light contrast present in different faces?

I've just looked at a series of images of faces and the white faces had a greater contrast range. If I squinted at the images, the white woman with the ridiculous Groucho eyebrows was still recognisable whilst the other faces merged into blobs.

If facial software it trying to identify points on a face isn't it going to struggle with a face with lower contrast? Blonde eyebrows on a white face and black eyebrows on a black face = low contrast. Of course that doesn't explain why it's accuracy is lower with female faces. Do women do anything to alter the shape or colour of their faces?

2
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Yorkshire cops have begun using on-the-spot fingerprint scanners

TheProf
Thumb Up

Fingerprint bus pass

And how exactly do you imagine getting a fingerprint from an 'old dear' when she won't even take her woolly mittens off during the summer?

6
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Home taping revisited: A mic in each hand, pointing at speakers

TheProf
Facepalm

Re: So CDs...

I bought a CD wallet from The Works in the late nineties. It holds 32 removable sleeves and can hold 32 discs and the CD cover or 64 discs and no insert. Of course being sold by The Works means it was a remaindered product then so it's probably only available to archaeologists these days.

It has one major flaw. The sleeve pockets are square in shape and so won't accommodate the rear CD case insert. You know, the one with all the useful stuff like track listings and err, the bar code.

2
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Fancy a fidget? Craze makes debut entry into PornHub's top searches

TheProf
Facepalm

More than

"The report found that those in the Philippines spent the longest time on the site – an average of 13 minutes and 28 seconds per visit, more than the overall global average of 9 minutes 59 seconds."

So the longest time spent on the site was longer than the average time spent? Fascinating.

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Nationwide UK web bank and app take unscheduled nap

TheProf

Re: AGAIN?!?

Sorry, I had to look it up.

Holly: I'm the closest thing you can get to infullable.

I think the sentiment remains the same.

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