* Posts by Stevie

5478 posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

Ah, good ol' Windows update cycles... Wait, before anything else, check your hardware

Stevie
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Bah!

Alternatively, consider this:

Your 3d print-on-demand business is ticking along nicely then an unannounced driver update scuppers your money-earning hardware.

But on the good side, the computer will still run ms excell so you can calculate how quickly you are going to go bankrupt.

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Bill Gates says he'd do CTRL-ALT-DEL with one key if given the chance to go back through time

Stevie
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Re: @AC

No such thing as Alt-left. OPOTUS invented them to make the Alt-right sound Fair and Balanced.

8o)

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AI slurps, learns millions of passwords to work out which ones you may use next

Stevie
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Re: XKCD 4 John Robson

My experience is that you first statement doesn't hold water like a collander doesn't. Gonna have to call shenanigans on that one. (on a train now, and had to retype parts of that first sentence four times due to motion-induced typos).

I wasn't claiming you said xkcd invented the technique. I was trying to get the next person to weigh in to not automatically link that same cartoon to make their case.

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Stevie
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Bah!

I wonder how many accounts can be hacked by starting the force with "correctbatteryhorsestaple"?

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Stevie
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Meh

Re: XKCD 4 John Robson

That is NOT all.

Try typing that enormous string into anything while on a train or bus sans typos.

Grodon Benten!

PS xkcd stole that whole thing from a stage magician's trick so old it has mammoth hairs on it. Gak Eisenberg was probably using it before his life was so tragically cut short.

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Stevie
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Bah!

Which only goes to show that passwords are a shitty way to secure anything, and password aging only inconveniences the legitimate user. Duh! Ten minutes of thought would lead anyone not blind to the "userid/password is not a person" truism to the same conclusion.

If we wanted to get serious we could do all sorts of clever things like track credential usage in the same way banks track credit card usage to spot out-of-band craftiness.

We could secure the hardware using PIDs. In the workplace this could be the picture ID you wear to get through the turnstile or door. Any number of ways of detecting them is available today with off the shelf tech.

The will to secure the hardware & software for the user is just not there compared to the will to secure the hardware & software for the originating companies. Until it is this nonsense will continue to happen.

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Itching to stuff iOS 11 on your iPhone? You may want to hold off for a bit

Stevie
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Re: Oh yeah .....

Even if the backup works when you restore from it, you don't get a return to what you had.

I had to restore my iPad after an iTunes update borked it good and proper. Afterward I was faced with umptytump app reloads from the appstore except that a couple I used a lot were just gone. How is this possible if a proper backup was taken? You got me. Don't do it without fat pipe WiFi is my only piece of wisdom.

Then the iTunes wouldn't sync properly. Turns out there's an undocumented hard limit on the number of music files that can be synced in one operation. Dunno what the number is, but I had to break my reload into lots of a thousand. Would have been very helpful to have been able to read some sort of log, but Apple apparently eschews these on the grounds that if it just works you don't need 'em. Oops.

And boy are the Appleteenies defensive about that. The forums I found were full of frustrated people asking about logs and lectures to same about having a better attitude. I kept well out of it, since we were obviously in the arena of faith-based computing and had been declared apostate and heretic.

And when I found the answer to the problem and posted it on the top Google hit for the most obvious search term, I got ambushed by an Appleteenie who felt that because the forum had been dormant for a few years my post was inappropriate. He backed down when I explained that Google sent anyone there asking in basic terms WTF was going on, but sweet Azathoth's Nebular Nodes what do these people do for a living if they have time to squat on "dead" forums?

What was the question?

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Uber Cali goes ballistic, calls online ads bogus: These million-dollar banners are something quite atrocious

Stevie
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Bah!

OR:

Uber Cali goes ballistic, online ads called "bogus".

Now the headline scans properly when sung.

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Compsci degrees aren't returning on investment for coders – research

Stevie
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Bah!

Confirming that no investment in IT infrastructure, even the "personal development in it" bit, ever breaks even, let alone makes a profit.

This was true back in 1978, when computer expenses were used as a corporate tax write-down mechanism.

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Google, Bing, Yahoo! data hoarding is like homeopathy. It doesn't work – new study claims

Stevie
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Re: Homeopathy doesn't work??

"Did you look at the link? "

Nope. I have better things to do than look for "knock-off youtube links" to content that will suck down an hour of precious mobile bandwidth while I'm commuting in order to understand some point you are trying to make.

If you were making a case against, I already know that.

If you were making a case for, I already ridiculed that.

Moral: If you are going to be ironically clever, don't do it using links to hour long TV shows.

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Stevie
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Re: Homeopathy doesn't work??

"I think you'll find it can work remarkably well"

How? Every time a scientific test shows yet again that homeopathy is horseshirt, the credulous saucer loons come out chanting about how it can't be quantified using conventional scientific methods.

Homeopathy is faith-based*, and hence no amout of common sense can be applied to educate those foolish enough to buy into it.

I rather liked the response of a commentator in these hallowed halls who suggested paying for homeopathic medicines with water in which a banknote had been immersed and shaken, then diluted down an appropriate number of times. I felt then as now that this represented wild overpayment, whether the homeopathic dilution effect worked or not.

* faith-based as in "everyone knows it works" rather than "god makes it work". See: Donald Trump supporter.

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Brit ministers jet off on a trade mission to tout our digital exports...

Stevie
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Bah!

So they couldn't promote digital products by video conference then?

So much for Brit-tech.

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What do you call an all-in-one PC that isn't? 'Upgradeable', says HP

Stevie
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Re: a good sized potato

Luxury!

We 'ave ter mek do wi' sliced carrot since management decided we were goin' totally thin-client.

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Stevie
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Bah!

I hope they haven't attempted to patent this monitor bolted to a pc thingy. There's prior art.

See: Commodore Pet.

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BoJo, don't misuse stats then blurt disclaimers when you get rumbled

Stevie
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Re: 2 percent

But the point is that the 350 weekly megaquids were never there in the first place, at least, not in the way the UKIPpers said it was.

As I understand it the deal was floated as "350 mq the EC makes us spend on unnecessary foreign stuff that we will get back every week", when the reality is "The EC makes us spend 350 mq per week on stuff we will have to buy anyway, Brexit or no Brexit".

I dunno how anyone fell for this nonsense in the first place. When was the last time anyone was there when a politician actually gave public money back without closing all the town libraries or selling off the ambulances (while somehow keeping the same number of fact-finding missions to Cancun and Barbados)?

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Sprint CEO straight out accuses Verizon counterpart of LYING

Stevie
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Bah!

T Mobile had inconvenient holes in its network in the 1990s so we switched to AT&T.

Who have never managed to offer us anything they were giving to new customers despite our faithful custom ever since (and a half decade before when it came to landline long-distance).

Actually, I tell a lie: twice we have found very helpful people that have unravelled potentially expensive uckfups on our part (roaming in Canada has some loopholes in the fine print it is crucial to read carefully).

We only stay because the grandfathered family plan is advantageous to us despite our no longer having a contract, and the occassionally great customer service (varies by support personnel). Well, that and the magically low costs to switch suddenly double when we try out Verizon's "special promotions" when we need a laugh.

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Facebook let advertisers target 'Jew-haters'

Stevie
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Bah!

All that development money and not a spare dollar for a RegEx?

^S[Aa][Dd]\.$

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Google to kill Chrome autoplay madness

Stevie
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Bah!

Never should have moved away from WAIS and GOPHER.

Thin end of the wedge. Fought wars. Rationing. Mafeking. Lloyd George. Etc. More etc.

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Stevie
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As a developer ...

As a developer who fled that field in the 1980s, let me just say that rewarding lazy behaviour in the user never ends well*, and that I personally cannot envisage a single use-case in which having the sound off by default with a prominent "begin play(back)" button is a worse option than having some witess heavy metal blither (why is it always heavy metal?) blast out over whatever the user had playing at the time in the background when the onload event triggers.

This was in the "never do" column of web design handbooks back in the dawn of the World Wide Web.

I guess "F*ck 'Em" supplanted "User Experience First" thinking sometime in the interrim.

* Case in point: the article's subject

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Stevie
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Re: Autoplay

Bob! Take your meds!

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Mad scientist zaps himself to determine the power of electric eel shocks

Stevie
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Re: Once More, With Eeling

Well, DNTP, we all know where this research will end: someone's todger in the eel tank.

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Stevie
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Bah!

Jumping electric eels?

Missed a trick then. Should have called Finless "Jehosaphat".

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Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air

Stevie
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Bah!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6QW8Usp94A

Bad audio, but I don't have a copy of the "Songs For Singing Islanders" EP and so cannot make a better (and illegal) YouTube recording myself.

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A furious think-tank boss, Google, and an academic 'fired' for criticizing ads giant

Stevie
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Re: A bit off topic, but

A few miles from Cambridge there's a place called Six Mile Bottom.

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Stevie
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Re: Wouldn't it be satisfying

No, it would cause immense hardship to people who have nothing to do with Oracle but whose livelihood is determined by information held on complex Oracle platforms.

And finding the right documentation for answering an urgent question about complex Oracle platforms (and underlying IBM systems too) is, as I have repeatedly proved beyond refutation, a matter for a Google search, since the internal search provided by each of those manufacturers is pants.

Not satisfying at all.

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Secure microkernel in a KVM switch offers spy-grade app virtualization

Stevie
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Bah!

and even allow cut and paste between windows.

There goes your air-gap.

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Dude who claimed he invented email is told by judge: It's safe to say you didn't invent email

Stevie
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Trump's got a fantastic tell-tale

The problem isn't that OPOTUS lies, it is that he believes everything he's told by his go-to advisors without fact-checking.

When the outright lies are mixed in with falsehoods he genuinely believes in and dubious stuff he thinks isn't important enough to get right first time, no-one can trust a single thing he says.

Hence "his lips are moving".

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Oracle 'systematically denies' its sales reps their commissions, forces them to work to pay off 'debts', court told

Stevie
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Re: Just when you thought...4 ShelLuser

Do yourself a favour and stop munging "Oracle" into "whOracle".

There must be clever and funny morphs out there, but that isn't one of them.

No-one pronounces "Oracle" as "OR acle" or "whore" as "horr" so it doesn't work.

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Stevie
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Me too

+1 against that blame-the-victimtard.

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Sub plot subplot thickens: Madsen claims hatch fumble killed Swede journo Kim Wall

Stevie
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Bah!

"I was just about to bury her at sea when, Whoops!, off fell her head. As I scrambled for it, her arms and legs fell off and tumbled overboard. I was so shocked I dropped the head in the sea. Then her legless, armless, headless body fell in. There was nothing more I could do so I buttoned up the Leaky Scow and sailed for home and a nice hot toddy. Sadly I was put so out of sorts by these events I neglected to close one or two hatches and the old girl sank."

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Facebook's music plans mean you'll never leave Facebook

Stevie
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Bah!

I guess my enormous CD collection (not to mention the Vinyl stuff in the basement) doesn't look quite so stupid any more does it sonny?

Enjoy your pwnage, spotty-faced yoofs everywhere.

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Asteroid Florence buzzes Earth, brings two moons along for the ride

Stevie
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Pint

Re: They don't make 'em like they used to

...clever...

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Stevie
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Bah!

Aiee! Fools! Anyone can see this is the opening salvo from Klendathu!

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Dear rioters: Hiding your face with scarves, hats can't fool this AI system

Stevie
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Bah!

"Accuracy is not great"

Words to build a totalitarian police state upon.

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Climate-change skeptic lined up to run NASA in this Trump timeline

Stevie
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Bah!

As long as he believes in Newton and Tsiolkovsky we should be OK.

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Whoosh, there it is: Toshiba bods say 14TB helium-filled disk is coming soon

Stevie
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Bah!

On the plus side, faults now telegraphed by munchkin-voice in the machine room.

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Linus Torvalds passed a kidney stone and then squeezed out Linux 4.13

Stevie
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Bah!

Dislike the man's public persona, but sympathize with his ordeal.

The code comments should be a thing of beauty though.

/ here we protect against buffAAARRRGGGHHHOHGODOHGODOHGOD /

/ we only get here if AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHWHYME? /

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Well, whad'ya know? 'No evidence' that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower

Stevie
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Re: No 'evidence' != didn't happen.

And MY point was that "I think" has about as much validity as space alien pyramids.

ie none.

I'm surprised that you discount the Russian thing though. There's a mountain (and mounting) circumstantial evidence of collusion and evildoing of the sort specifically forbidden in the Constitution, which the Americans had the wit to write down.

Much more than there was for, to pick one from the bunch unopened on the hall table, the Vince Foster affair.

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Stevie
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Re: No 'evidence' != didn't happen.

No evidence is a strong indicator that it didn't happen to those of us who don't think the pyramids were built by space aliens as grain silos. Or something.

The "everybody knows" deductive method is, however, the official OPOTUS sanctioned method of determining facts, so I suppose I cannot argue with your self-evident truth.

Yes, "they" eavesdropped on Trump. No doubt using more space alien technology that cannot be detected with mere earth science.

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Stevie
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Bah!

So, you are trying to tell me that OPOTUS has got nothing? That this has all been empty blovation?

I'm shocked and appalled.

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Oracle staff report big layoffs across Solaris, SPARC teams

Stevie
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Bah!

Do Oracle have any Solaris software bods to lay off?

Every time our very large enterprise asks Oracle for a Solaris-trained tech to give us a hand with the various Oracle products we use we invariably end up with a Linux expert who doesn't have a clue about anything involving Solaris.

I think the Solaris Internals bods all jumped ship years ago.

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Paris Hilton inflates crypto bubble some more, backs Initial Coin Offering

Stevie
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Bah!

I'm rather less excited than Ms Hilton.

Perhaps she could explain her glee so as to interest those of us who need more than 140 characters of hype.

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It's official: Users navigate flat UI designs 22 per cent slower

Stevie
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Bah!

I know it takes three times longer to do what I need to do one a month at an ATM newly refitted with one of their bug-ugly flatscreen guis (get a balance, use it to decide which account to pay my credit card bill, transfer remaining balance to deposit if that was a checking account and grab some folding money). Mostly because each of those operations now spits the card out, requiring me to re-insert it and log back in to do the next bit. It's like the ritalin-addled foetus that wrote the algorithm didn't even use ATMs ...

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Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

Stevie
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Re: Bah!

My work is done. Sorry about typos. Train and iPad auto-correct at work.

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Stevie
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Re: Bah!

Unless it's lump hammer-proof we are still good.

I've got a proper sledgehammer if sterner measures are called for.

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Stevie
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Bah!

Just dawned on me that playing a stereo under one of these daft lightbulbs could induce vomiting in no short order.

Playlist:

Donovan, "Colours"

Dawn, "Tie a Yellow Ribbon". (Max Vom-Factor without the light bulb)

I Forget, "Love is Blue"

I Forget Again, "Black is Black"

Bing Crosby "White Christmas"

Roxy Music "Grey Lagoons"

Tom Jones, "The Green, Green Grass of Home" ( see comments for Dawn above)

Rolling Stones, "Paint it Black"

Rolf Harris, "Six White Boomers"

I Forget Once Again, "I Can Sing a Rainbow"

Lindisfarne, "Clear White Light"

And so forth.

Most important: anything with "white" in the lyric should ideally follow some idiot singing about something black, someveryone in the room is periodically Blinded by the Light.k

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Stevie
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Pint

Re: Obession with (free) Wi-Fi

Incredulation? Is that anything like incredulity?

Have an e-beer for unnecessary word coinageationment.

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Stevie
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Bah!

There's only one way to sort this out: Lightbulb v Doorbell Thunderdome.

Two stupidly web-enabled devices enter, one stupidly web-enabled device leaves.

And then is smashed flat with a lump hammer.

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Big Tech slams Trump on plan to deport kids

Stevie
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Bah!

When asked for a quote, Ken Paxton said "glug"!

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Crushed Juicero now officially a fruitless endeavor

Stevie
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Bah!

This Keurig user is wondering who the hell would pay 600 notes for a juicer unless it was a genuine razor-thin iJuicer?

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