* Posts by Sureo

606 posts • joined 9 Jun 2008

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Presto crypto: IBM releases gruntier, faster Z14 mainframe

Sureo

Sounds like the perfect computer for the NSA.

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No, really. You can see through walls using drones and Wi-Fi

Sureo

We need those tinfoil hats more than ever.

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Uncle Sam bungs rich tech giants quarter of a billion bucks for exascale super R&D

Sureo
Coat

It shouldn't be hard to find a billion scrapped mobile gadgets. Spend the money figuring out how to hook them together. (Where's my phone?)

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Whoops! Microsoft accidentally lets out a mobile-'bricking' OS update

Sureo

"...and the only way out is to wipe it and start over..."

Nothing changes.

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New 'Beaver' web server has exactly ONE user outside China

Sureo

Wait...

Wait a minute, the beaver is Canada's national animal.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_national_animals

Why didn't the Chinese use their own?

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Windows 10: Triumphs and tragedies from Microsoft Build

Sureo

I am waiting....

I am waiting for Windows 10 Legacy Edition, which should look, feel and work just like Windows 7. (But I'm not holding my breath.)

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ATM security devs rush out patch after boffins deliver knockout blow

Sureo

Funny...

Funny how when the problem is, for example, Android, security updates seldom or never get distributed and applied, but when money is flying out the window.....

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Uber cloaked its spying and all it got from Apple was a slap on the wrist

Sureo

Rules

Apple can enforce or ignore its rules as it wishes, whatever is in its best interest.

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Seagate launches non-flying disk drive for drones

Sureo

" two months of complimentary access to Adobe Premiere Pro CC "

Then it's $20 or $50 per month after (depending on what you subscribe to). No thanks.

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Russian hacker arrested in Spain for bot-herding not election-fiddling

Sureo

Ought to stay home...

.... where Putin will give them a medal for service to the state, instead of traveling to the west where they are arrested.

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IBM. Sigh. Revenues. Sigh. Down. Sigh. For the 20th quarter in a row

Sureo

IBM should task Watson with the job of fixing the company.

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'Nobody's got to use the internet,' argues idiot congressman in row over ISP privacy rules

Sureo
Happy

Time to cut the cord and move to the wilderness.

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Adblock Plus owners commandeer Pirate Bay man's tip jar Flattr

Sureo

Re: Who better?

Even with a workable micropayment system, what's to stop them from whoring your personal information anyway? Who trusts them?

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Cheap, flimsy, breakable and replaceable – yup, Ikea, you'll be right at home in the IoT world

Sureo

Now Ikea has to change its name to iKea.

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This AI stuff is all talk! Bots invent their own language to natter away behind humans' backs

Sureo

Senior bot to junior bot: "Go fly a kite."

Junior bot to senior bot: "Jump off that cliff over there."

Senior bot to junior bot: "No dinner for you. Go to your room."

Junior bot: short circuits.

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The future of Not Reality is a strap-on that talks to my smarting ring

Sureo

"pointless gadgets that purport to solve problems from which nobody suffers"

Today's technology, solutions without problems. Paradoxically it has produced large numbers of billionaires.

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Doctor Google stitches eyes, ears onto its cloudy learning monster

Sureo

Imagine...

Yes we'll know more about cat behavior than we ever could imagine.

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Tesla 'API crashes' after update, angry rich bods complain

Sureo

"Unknown Error"

To me this is characteristic of poorly written software. Error exception handling is hard. Many developers are in a hurry to code the main function and leave error handling to later, or never. I have seen this message so many times, it's a slap in the user's face. As a developer it makes me ashamed. /rant

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Watt the f... Dim smart meters caught simply making up readings

Sureo

"Two reported about 32 per cent less usage than actually occurred."

I would keep quiet about that.

4
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Did you buy anything from Microsoft's glum Apple Store knockoff? You may be owed $100

Sureo

$400,000

The lawyers did really well.

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Facebook scales back AI flagship after chatbots hit 70% f-AI-lure rate

Sureo

"...things always go wrong..."

Are you sure that it's Facebook's AI, or just Zuck at the helm?

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Totally not-crazy billionaire Elon Musk: All of us – yes, even you – must become cyborgs

Sureo

Perhaps all the out-of-work drivers can find a useful occupation picking up the pieces from the wrecked AI vehicles littering the road.

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Trump cybersecurity order morphs into 2,200-plus-word extravaganza

Sureo

Trump did promise to put America back to work - writing reports.

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What's the biggest danger to the power grid? Hackers? Terrorists? Er, squirrels

Sureo

Re: Treasonous Squirrels

Don't you know, they have an entire wing at Guantanamo Bay for squirrels that caused acts of sabotage (and survived). :)

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Japan's terrifying techno-toilets will be made foreigner friendly, vow makers

Sureo

My toilet at home has one control on it - flush! The rest is nice but not necessary for the purpose. What they need for foreigners/ignoramuses is one icon that looks like a flush lever, perhaps larger than the rest, so we know exactly what to do and avoid unintended consequences.

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SpaceX makes successful rocket launch

Sureo

Re: Well done SpaceX

FB wants me to log in or sign up .... it's to youtube for me. Blow up, FB.

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Mr Angry pays taxman with five wheelbarrows worth of loose change

Sureo

Re: "...just weighed them..."

Thank god Canada did away with pennies some time ago. Weren't worth the trouble to pick one up if you dropped it.

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Hapless scouser scours streets for lost Crimble drone

Sureo

There should be a "come back home, all is forgiven" button on the remote.

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Microsoft scores nearly $1bn non-compete contract with US military

Sureo

"...4 million windows 10 computers..."

Oh the pain, the pain......

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Windows 10 nags, Dirty Cow, Microsoft's Linux man love: The Reg's big ones for 2016

Sureo
Pint

Windows 10 upgrade suvivor

Highlight of the year - I managed to resist Microsoft's efforts to upgrade my W7 computer, in spite of repeated efforts on their part. It was hard, and I'd like to celebrate.

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Cyber insurance brokers: If it makes you feel any better, 2016 was not our year either

Sureo

So if you're a policy holder and get hacked, you get paid. What about your customers/users who actually suffer?

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Don't panic, friends, but the Chinese navy just nicked one of America's underwater drones

Sureo

Now they have to send a Mission: Impossible team led by Tom Cruise to go in and destroy the sub. Maybe DT can make it into another reality TV show.

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Uber to Cali DMV: Back off, pal, our 'self-driving cars' aren't self driving

Sureo

You would think that the driverless cars, going through red lights and doing other dangerous things, would eventually all get smashed up, removing them from the road. Problem solved.

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Poor software design led to second £1m Army spy drone crash

Sureo

"...train them as instructors ..."

Now they've learned what not to do.

Let's hope self-driving autos have more reliable sensors and software.

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Beancounter nicks $5m from bosses, blows $1m on fantasy babe Kate Upton's mobe game

Sureo

Re: I call bullshit.

"Really?" The world looks different when you're pissing away other people's money.

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Hackers actively stealing Wi-Fi keys from vulnerable routers

Sureo
Unhappy

"...the situation is under control..."

Every time I ask my ISP about security issues, they give me this reply, but have no further information on the matter. Essentially a brush-off and an admission nothing is being done.

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Space crap: Flap, zap or strap? $30k from NASA for your pooper scooper

Sureo
Coat

Taking nourishment in liquid form would solve one of the three problems, perhaps the most unpleasant one.

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Launch set for GOES-R satellite capable of 30-second weather updates

Sureo

"...most dramatic weather in near-real time"

We experience the weather here in actual real time. Too often the weather forecast tells us what happened earlier. The future is a murky haze the forecasters are often unable to penetrate.

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Fire alarm sparked data centre meltdown emergency

Sureo

It might have been a thought to determine why relay #18 melted down, so it wouldn't happen again.

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Hm, is that a minefield? Let me just throw my magic bomb-sniffing spinach over there

Sureo

Using spinich is very clever

You don't have to worry about people/animals stealing and eating it.

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Amazon guarantees bitterly contested Ohio wind farm project

Sureo

Win - Win

Everpower will order the windmills from Amazon :

https://www.amazon.com/WINDMILL-Generator-controller-automatic-installation/dp/B01HGJH4O2/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1478051242&sr=8-7&keywords=windmill

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Divide the internet into compartments to save us from the IoT fail whale

Sureo

IOTs are polluting the internet just as we are polluting the earth.

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First World Problems: John Lewis clients forced to re-register after website 'upgrade'

Sureo

Nothing new

I've had numerous logins disappear from time to time. I store all my logins in a password program so I know it's not me that forgot. It's a PITA for sure.

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What will happen when I'm too old to push? (buttons, that is)

Sureo

"How do old people navigate a brave new world that keeps getting braver and newer at an accelerated pace?"

We just ignore as much of it as possible and know it will eventually go away.

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Microsoft keeps schtum as more battery woes hit Surface sufferers

Sureo

Re: They are all at it

For the sake of the environment if not customer relations they should ban devices with non-replaceable batteries.

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Apple's car is driving nowhere

Sureo

Apple engineering

They quit because the car needs new batteries and they cannot be replaced.

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The IRS spaffed $12m on Office 365 subscription IT NEVER USED

Sureo

Re: Not surprising

The politicians waste/steal/misappropriate far more than the bureaucrats.

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Google may just have silently snuffed the tablet computer

Sureo

Re: Slow refresh cycle

"Stopped making them"

Still runnin' and lovin' my netbook.

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My God, I've got nothing on! Microsoft's $200m Wunderlist is down

Sureo

Luddite

What's wrong with a pencil and a piece of notepaper? The real estate agents leave a notepad at the door almost every day.

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Apple guilty in iPhone ringtone patent rip-off battle with Sony, Nokia

Sureo

Lawyer's fees

Just the cost of going around with a big stick threatening to beat up the other guy.

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