* Posts by Ben Bonsall

303 posts • joined 4 Jun 2008

Page:

Release the KRACKen patches: The good, the bad, and the ugly on this WPA2 Wi-Fi drama

Ben Bonsall

yes. repeaters.

1
0
Ben Bonsall

dd-wrt builds from yesterday already have the patch. :)

5
1

The Google Home Mini: Great, right up until you want to smash it in fury

Ben Bonsall

Re: Silly Valley

Orac? I want Masaq'.

0
1

Footie ballsup: Petition kicks off to fix 'geometrically impossible' street signs

Ben Bonsall

Re: Metric please

How long is a pieces of string?

one metric stringlength.

2
0

What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

Ben Bonsall

Really? I thought they must have been pissed when they came up with HS2...

17
0
Ben Bonsall

What's the probablility of being fired after being caught drunk the first time?

6
0

ITU-T wants video sizes to halve again by 2020

Ben Bonsall

Re: Is this even possible?

Thern gets eaten by a gru

Easy.

Former Swedish National Football captain's head on a plate, Cartoon villain holding knife and fork.

0
0

Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid

Ben Bonsall

Re: Cats are neither a solid nor a liquid.

Can a cat be poured into two separate containers at the same time?

Yes:

https://arxiv.org/abs/1601.05505

"Quantum superpositions of distinct coherent states in a single-mode harmonic oscillator, known as "cat states", have been an elegant demonstration of Schrodinger's famous cat paradox. Here, we realize a two-mode cat state of electromagnetic fields in two microwave cavities bridged by a superconducting artificial atom, which can also be viewed as an entangled pair of single-cavity cat states. We present full quantum state tomography of this complex cat state over a Hilbert space exceeding 100 dimensions via quantum non-demolition measurements of the joint photon number parity. The ability to manipulate such multi-cavity quantum states paves the way for logical operations between redundantly encoded qubits for fault-tolerant quantum computation and communication. "

28
0

Dude who claimed he invented email is told by judge: It's safe to say you didn't invent email

Ben Bonsall

Re: Where Do I Find These Lawyers

Bottom of a pond.

4
0

China: Cute Hyperloop Elon, now watch how it's really done

Ben Bonsall

Re: All this talk

The opening chapters of Surface Detail (Iain M Banks) contain a pretty good description of a virtual afterlife provided by amazon...

1
0

Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

Ben Bonsall

Re: Lightbulb moment?

Surely it just lights up. So potentially, heat-haze.

4
1

Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

Ben Bonsall

Re: I'm touched by the weirdness of this request...

+1 For Discworld Noir - Hell of a lot better entertainment vs frustration compared to the other Discworld games.

Never! unless there is a point in a point and click where you literally have to try everything with everything else until some ridiculous pun emerges, it's not a point and click.

Also, the 3d interface was annoying. Ask me about how Grim Fandango was the beginning of the end.

0
0

Should you stay awake at night worrying about hackers on the grid?

Ben Bonsall

Seagulls with baguettes.

0
0

iRobot just banked a fat profit. And it knows how to make more: Sharing maps of your homes

Ben Bonsall

More likely it would photograph your household items so that Amazon could say: "We noticed that you have these items, would you like to buy more of them, exactly the same?"

We noticed your Roomba just broke one of these, would you like to buy another?

21
0

Snopes.com asks for bailout amid dispute over who runs the site and collects ad dollars

Ben Bonsall

Dunno, coastguard?

26
1

Sweden leaked every car owners' details last year, then tried to hush it up

Ben Bonsall

Re: "as much value as a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory"

As no-one else seems to have noticed, I'll point out that it's actually a quote from the very aptly named film, "Top Secret"

Nick: Listen to me, Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island, who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.

Hillary: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.

[Long pause. Both look at camera]

2
0

Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies

Ben Bonsall

Yes, I can understand.

0
0
Ben Bonsall

Re: Instant space travel

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rimmerworld

2
0

Vegemite tries to hijack Qantas name-our-planes competition

Ben Bonsall

Re: Honor Australia's Greatest Hero.

That's not a Knifey McKnifeface, it's a spoon.

2
0

Boffins gently wake the Large Hadron Collider from annual hibernation

Ben Bonsall

Re: Winter upgrade boosted 'inverse femtobarns'

metric or imperial fucktons?

1
0

Forget robot overlords, humankind will get finished off by IoT

Ben Bonsall

Where the hell do you order bombs from? amazon.bom? eBomb? Bombino's? Pretty sure they'd get either shut down or subpoena'd for the client list.

0
0

SpaceX wows world with a ho-hum launch of a reused rocket, landing it on a tiny boring barge

Ben Bonsall

'Pass the savings on to the customer' => 'Pass the savings into the hollow volcano fund'

4
0

Disney plotting 15 more years of Star Wars

Ben Bonsall

The growing pains of Han Solo

2
0

A bigger splash: The mathematics of spilling beer

Ben Bonsall

Use a Kwak glass. Unspillable due to the large wooden stand/handle employed to keep a tall round bottomed vessel upright. Much like a barstool is used by the drinker.

0
0

User jams up PC. Literally. No, we don't know which flavour

Ben Bonsall

Re: Turbo Button

The really hard bits in Prince of Persia became so much easier with turbo mode off...

8
0

Face down in a Shoreditch gutter: Attack of the kickstarting hipster

Ben Bonsall

Re: The right process - and no, not just for DracoCorp

I'd forgotten about the sim. The requirement for surgery and/or a trusted friend would be a serious impediment to switching provider...

2
0
Ben Bonsall

Don't you need to press and hold the restart button by inserting a stylus into a convenient orifice for thirty seconds and pressing the stud behind your ear? (or is that just for DracoCorp augs?)

4
0

FAKE BREWS: America rocked by 'craft beer' scandal allegations

Ben Bonsall

Gourmet cat food.

1
0

European F-35 avionics to be overhauled at Sealand, says UK.gov

Ben Bonsall

Re: Remote Corner ?

--What does the Font of all internet knowledge say? Any Ariel photos on the net?

plenty.

https://www.google.be/search?q=ariel&biw=986&bih=776&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiAi46po5vQAhXGDsAKHf32BxsQ_AUIBigB

3
0

Hm, is that a minefield? Let me just throw my magic bomb-sniffing spinach over there

Ben Bonsall

Just need enough seeds to ensure they become very fat indeed.

0
0
Ben Bonsall

Sprinkle any old seeds, pigeons land, mines are detected. As a bonus, pigeon problem is also solved.

7
0
Ben Bonsall

Due to a hair lip, my dog is a wafer.

4
0

Boffins coax non-superconductive stuff into dropping the 'non'

Ben Bonsall

Re: Grand mixture of temperature scales!

what's that in Qatari summers?

0
0

Belgian court fines Skype for failing to intercept criminals' calls in 2012

Ben Bonsall

Re: All this

Cote d'or is now made by a division of Kraft foods in Poland...

0
0

Getting your tongue around foreign tech-talk is easier than you think

Ben Bonsall

Re: Bigger vegetables?

A hungry vegetarian.

1
0

Oh God, here comes the artificially intelligent boss bot – look busy!

Ben Bonsall

Badass. Now we can hack the CEO to approve our pay rises and reject the board's.

6
0

Paint your wagon (with electric circuits) but leave my crotch alone

Ben Bonsall

Re: Thirteen kilograms less Dabbsy?

(and, 3.09 jubs)

3
0
Ben Bonsall

Re: Thirteen kilograms less Dabbsy?

Combining this:

Alistair’s weight-loss smugathon continues, taking the total so far to 13kg.

with this:

… or, since I went vegetarian this year,

Leads me to believe it's not so much weight loss, as dangerous malnutrition...

30
0

IoT manufacturer caught fixing security holes

Ben Bonsall

Re: Household insurance

You would need at the very least 40 bags of potatoes pilled on top of each other before the lock would give way

What's that in jubs?

1
0

My headset is reading my mind and talking behind my back

Ben Bonsall

Re: Fat-Burning Hats

Then it's probably best that the hat comes with a big furry jacket to optimize performance... (optional extra, POA.)

3
0
Ben Bonsall

Re: Fat-Burning Hats

Shouldn't be too hard- you burn a lot of energy regulating your temperature, and the head is one of the places that looses most heat, so shave the head, mount a refrigeration unit in the hat, and Bingo, weight loss.

Also, a big heavy hat will mean you burn more energy carrying it around and strengthen core muscles trying to stay upright with a fridge on the head.

The deluxe model can have a couple of slots to insert beers, for relaxing after a heavy hat wearing session.

You could even recover some energy with a peliter effect layer between the scalp and the refrigeration unit, and potentially combine it with one of those neoprene belts, redirecting the extracted heat into the belly where it can raise the core temperature, requiring more heat loss through the head.

Perpetual motion, until you run out of fat. Or collapse under the weight. Whichever.

25
0

English Uber alles in London taxis? No way, TfL – taxi app titan

Ben Bonsall

Re: Do I really need my driver to speak English?

Best cab I ever had, I got in, gabbled the address, and the GPS heard me and repeated it back, and off we went. Didn't have to speak to the driver at all...

1
0

World religions stake out positions on Pokemon Go

Ben Bonsall

"They'll be offered tea and cake"

I'm sure it was cake or death.

1
0

Blighty will have a whopping 24 F-35B jets by 2023 – MoD minister

Ben Bonsall

'No need for the Army, RAF or most of the Navy.'

Give it a couple of years, and the killer bees, grown huge and souped up on sugar from all the unpicked fruit, will be a tricky target for a nuclear tipped cruise...

Ideal targets for an agile air superiority fighter like the typhoon.

6
0

Microsoft's cringey 'Hey bae <3' recruiter email translated by El Reg

Ben Bonsall

Re: Every time I see "<3"...

'bae <3

Looks as if someone tried to depict BAE letting off gas.'

Seeing as bae is Danish for shit, seems legit.

11
0

Laser probers sniff more gravitational waves from mega black hole smash

Ben Bonsall

Re: Why LIGO Is a Scam

It is falsifiable

Teleport the sun hundreds of light years away. If the earth immediately continues in a straight line, then gravity is instantaneous action at a distance. If it continues in orbit until the last light reaches earth, then gravity is transmited at the speed of light.

Not an easy experiment, I agree.

0
2

Google asks the public to name the forthcoming Android N operating system

Ben Bonsall

Noddy

0
0

Did Spotify hire Alan Partridge to run its Netflix-style video push?

Ben Bonsall

Former friends of boyband stars Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow get the opportunity to tell them just how they feel about being forgotten the instant the band got famous, in 'Take That You Bastards.'

1
0
Ben Bonsall

An in depth analysis of fashionable underpant brands worn by rappers, in Biggie's Smalls.

1
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017