* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16005 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

GCHQ's CESG team's crypto proposal isn't dumb, it's malicious... and I didn't notice

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Holmes

Re: I love the way A.N.Other hack thinks GCHQ are dumb

I agree with boltar on this, but the proof is in the puddingdoughnut.

Mindless dedication enabled by free money can accomplish a lot of things that to an external observer might look like intelligent beings were at work.

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Windows

Re: @ King Tut

King Tut, eh? Do we know each other from Zürich, circa early 90s?

UK govt sneaks citizen database aka 'request filters' into proposed internet super-spy law

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Paris Hilton

I do think it would be more expedient if WE fucked them?

Microsoft's OneDrive price hike has wrecked its cloud strategy

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WTF?

"Big data sets, for example. A friend of mine works in fMRI research"

> Professional Settings

> TiB of data

> One OneDrive Personal Cloud

> From home

Not even once.

Volkswagen: 800,000 of our cars may have cheated in CO2 tests

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Facepalm

WHEN WILL IT STOP!

> carbon dioxide scandal

I can only imagine these cars magically load burnable and BURN IT stuff WHILE-U-DRIVE!

Next: Dihydrogen monoxide holocaust!!! Mufti of Jerusalem consulted VW engineers etc.

Halo 5: Overhyped, but still way above your average shooter

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Re: Wut?

Homework

Somebody has something to say about that:

Don't any of you stupid **** tell me it's in the novelization or some stupid ****

Now VW air-pollution cheatware 'found in Audis and Porsches'

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Intredasting.

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Re: Is anybody surprised by now?

These engineers have their hands in EVERYTHING!

It may be true but it would not be the "lowly engineers" but the guys sitting in on board decision, as The War Street Journal writes.

The two men, Ulrich Hackenberg, Audi ’s chief engineer, and Wolfgang Hatz, developer of Porsche’s Formula One and Le Mans racing engines, were among the engineers suspended in the investigation of the emissions cheating scandal that sank the company’s market value by 43% since Sept. 18 and triggered a world-wide recall to refit the engines to meet clear-air standards, these people said.

Mr. Winterkorn became chief executive and put Messrs. Hackenberg and Hatz in charge of the Volkswagen R&D group and engine development. The two engineers had worked together devising new Volkswagen cars during the critical years when the vehicle maker struggled to develop diesel engines to conform to tough U.S. nitrogen oxide emissions standards.

Months later, in August 2007, Volkswagen canceled the licensing deal for BlueTec with Daimler because it didn’t want to use its competitor’s brand. It rebranded the company’s diesel engine TDI—for turbocharged direct injection.

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Re: Parvenu.

But will you be able to park on a yuropean supermarket car park?

Apple killed our app say Chaos Computer Club

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Walled Garden Rules are Walled Garden Rules

But if you make shit up while applying them they are no longer rules, they are willful pig-headedness.

And pestilence shall come unto your family and be carried down the generations forevermore!

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Re: Well Duh!

KNOWLEDGE IS A CRIME!

DO YOU EVEN PRAISE JOBS?

'T-shaped' developers are the new normal

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Headmaster

Re: Work like a ninja"

Ninja is the uncertainty if I really existed in Tokogawa Era Japan at all

Yeah right. As if deniable black ops "dirty tricks" operators would not have been a money-making full-time skill in an period of internecine warlord management. Especially one full of idiots who have their heads turned sideways due to some perverse cultural norms about honour.

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Headmaster

Re: The developers of today

Crap untyped Scripting languages make spotting implementation mistakes hard.

Yes. But nobody is using dependently typed programming languages, or even simply typed functional ones (Standard ML for example). And then you get weirdos complaining about garbage collection like it's 1970s.

This industry is still drawing pentagrams around dead chickens.

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Printed. Framed.

Linus Torvalds fires off angry 'compiler-masturbation' rant

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Re: The Linux kernel is the most compiled thing anywhere

"It has to be 100% compatible with every single C compiler on the planet, because they're all going to compile it."

Just what.

Oh wait. Sarcasm.

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Pint

Re: There is code smell in here

> Way to prove you have no idea what you're yapping about. Any chance of you not commenting on articles/comments about C with your usual drivel now?

Says an anonymous coward who is quite likely wetter behind the ear than a baby wipe. GB2 XBox, jerk.

Also, who has talked about "hardcoding"?

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Trollface

Re: The FORTRAN FEMA trailer has stopped nearby....

> You just wiped out most of the astrophysics community.

Yeah, I have seen those kind of "writing" by a PhD student.

1) Borrow olden code in FORTRAN to do fluid dynamics around a blackhole

2) Not sure what it does, how to call it but it fits right in where I have these call parameter things. Also runs well on the basement vector processor (remember this was a bit earlier in my career)

3) Produces pretty graphs which look good on the projector. "Nobody else will use it anyway"

4) ???

5) SORTED!!

Next grad student will pick up the code at 4)

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Flame

The FORTRAN FEMA trailer has stopped nearby....

> lack of FORTRAN programmers

I hope the genocide continues and spills over into the "C" language crowd.

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Paris Hilton

There is code smell in here

mtu -= hlen + sizeof(struct frag_hdr);

1) Use of the error-prone "-=" only liked by crazed C-fashionistas

2) sizeof(struct frag_hdr) should prolly be constant, why is it computed here?

But most important:

Feels like "mtu" should be constant in this context. That's what "mtu" means. We are modifying it?

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Re: Ohshit.

Go back to your PHP.

Next year's Windows 10 auto-upgrade is MSFT's worst idea since Vista

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Re: GOODNESS!

Microsoft astroturfing has seen better days.

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Windows

WINDOWS 10: THE WINDOWS KEYNES WOULD HAVE WANTED

That "Free Windows Upgrade" also sounds a lot like Money Printing: Nobody wants it except some suited guys in a boardroom who have decided to not invest into much effort into getting richer, it is sold as an improvement and a great idea ("20+ totally wrecked economies since 1920 can't be wrong!!"), it gives everyone a hard time and fucks up people whose remaining lifespan is too short to reinvent themselves yet another time.

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Mushroom

Re: "perfectly legitimate advertising" bollox

Yeah I don't know why in this New Millenium "*advertising" is automatically labeled as "perfectly legitimate". It is not and the people who come up with this sort of crap should have their jaw rearranged by Boris the Russian Jail Warden.

No, we're not sorry for Xen security SNAFUs says Ian Jackson

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Coat

Re: Bugs

"All bugs are shallow with enough eyes."

But that doesn't help. You still need to recruit enough eyes and make what the code does visible in the first place. And this includes shipping a large testing base btw.

Otherwise it's just a reformulation of "all NP-hard problems are easy given enough time..."

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Thumb Down

> it's practically impossible to write code that runs below the OS in such a language

Go back to first semester and stay there.

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Paris Hilton

You mean to say?

> "assert-like mechanisms perhaps?"

They don't have this simple "must use to not be considered utter caveman" squeaky-bottoms avoiding tool?

Anonymous hack group plans to out anonymous hate group

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Headmaster

Re: @ Your alien overlord - fear me

Really? What a vapid statement.

Next: BDS now ILLEGAL in France. Because saying something about shitheads is as bad as being a shithead.

American military sites secured with dud SHA-1 cipher

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Big Brother

Re: When you haven't failed *lately* ...

Trying to project imperial power abroad is tough and has a high probability of resulting in oodles of FAIL.

Like, you know, the permanent slapstick show in the Middle East.

What upgrade cycle? Tablet sales crater for fourth straight quarter

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Headmaster

Ok, cool.

Now can we please kick the arse of webdesigners to redesign websites back to their former un-tabletized versions because the current ones are offensive and stupid with their huge background images and JavaScript scroll magic. And I specifically include the "new" El Reg look.

UK ministers, not judges, to sign off on Brit spies' surveillance

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Big Brother

And from that we can deduce that the home secretary signs anything and everything put in front of her, just in case?

I feel a good Hindenburg joke coming up

(It goes like this: Random story with a guy eating sammich .... when the guy in the story finishes it, a secretary will tell him not to leave the lunch paper around because President Hindenburg will probably sign it.)

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Big Brother

Plus ça change, but ça Oswald Mosley.

Fuming Google tears Symantec a new one over rogue SSL certs

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Thumb Up

"Be more evil"

Yesh, it sounds good in this case...

Northrop wins $55bn contract for next-gen bomber – as America says bye-bye to B-52

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Facepalm

Re: Why not give the money to NASA

> Space based weapon systems are specifically forbidden by international treaty.

Someone still thinks "international treaty" is in force.

The US alone has raped "international treaty" so hard in the last two decades (and with impunity) that its ears are bleeding.

Get James Bond in here: 13 million account passwords plundered from 000webhost

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Trollface

Meanwhile, in Goldhacker's lair...

Agent BOND has been shibari-ed to a PLATFORM OF EXTERMINATION and is basically awaiting his fate.

GOLDHACKER: "Yes, Mr. Bond. All passwords downloaded via a simple exploit, rainbow-tabled and indexed. A trivial hack, enabled by third-rate coders. It's human nature, Mr Bond. Inevitable."

BOND [STRAINING]: "I don't understand, Goldhacker! Do you expect me to believe this kind of thing will go on forever?"

GOLDHACKER: "No Mr. Bond. I don't expect you to understand. I expect you ... to die!"

[GOLDHACKER turns to leave but then whips around]

GOLDHACKER: "By the way. Nice password, Mr. Bond."

[GOLDHACKER shows BOND a printout with the clearly written text: "007"]

Safe Harbor 2.0: Judges to keep NSA spying in check – EU justice boss

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Re: Carp

As the saying goes: "FUCK THE EU"

Seriously.

SWIFT "sharing"? EU rolls over!

FATCA "sharing"? EU rolls over!

Flight records "sharing"? EU rolls over!!

Safe Harbor 2.0: Yes, the US will be nice, we promise...

Microsoft's Big Data-driven improvement efforts flounder

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Re: "data-driven culture"

I didn't know there is an actress called Browning...

From Jimbo's Trivia White Hole

When the Nazis achieved power in 1933, Johst wrote the play Schlageter, an expression of Nazi ideology performed on Hitler's 44th birthday, 20 April 1933, to celebrate his victory. It was a heroic biography of the proto-Nazi martyr Albert Leo Schlageter. The famous line "when I hear the word culture, I reach for my gun", often associated with Nazi leaders, derives from this play. The actual original line from the play is slightly different: "Wenn ich Kultur höre ... entsichere ich meinen Browning!" "Whenever I hear of culture... I unlock my Browning!" (Act 1, Scene 1). It is spoken by another character in conversation with the young Schlageter. In the scene Schlageter and his wartime comrade Friedrich Thiemann are studying for a college examination, but then start disputing whether it is worthwhile doing so when the nation is not free.

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Headmaster

Re: Nothing really surprising in those results

Am excellent book on this:

Causality by the great Judea Pearl

And also:

Causation, Prediction, and Search, Second Edition

My biggest disappointment is that I am too slow to actually grok these things in my lifetime.

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"data-driven culture"

When I hear "data driven", I take the safety off my Browning.

We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

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Joke

Re: Joke time

"Hoover: He was a body remover"

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Re: Why should anyone care if a vacuum cleaner is AAAA rated

There is something called "price control".

Or you can throw in a nuke station or two.

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Re: That Dyson man

I think you will find these are different Dysons?

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Paris Hilton

We might have directly detected Vacuum Energy

> These vacuums have a special 'don't suck much if you are vacuuming something clean' mode

FOR WHAT PURPOSE!

WhatsApp laid bare: Info-sucking app's innards probed

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Paris Hilton

Re: Collects whats?

Elsevier has a journal called "Digital Investigation"? An upmarket Phrack?

Still, good work at analyzing the innards of the protocol, but it's about as "info-sucking" as SS7. Or not. It depends what is going over the protocol once it has been set up.

But clearly the goal is to help the gumshoes:

From its wide adoption, it is obvious how WhastApp communication exchanges may be used during an nvestigation, making the artifacts it produces of compelling forensic relevance. Therefore, we see a strong necessity for both researchers and practitioners to gain a comprehensive understanding of the networking protocol used in WhatsApp, as well as the type of forensically relevant data it contains. Most importantly, due to the newly introduced calling feature, it becomes essential to understand the signaling messages used in the establishment of calls between the WhatsApp clients and servers. The methods and tools used in this research could be relevant to investigations where proving that a call was made at a certain date and time is necessary.

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Paris Hilton

> required access to heart data from my wearable

I actually had to read it thrice until I got that "heart" is not a verb here.

US Senate approves CISA cyber-spy-law, axes privacy safeguards

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Holmes

It's about the Security State, nothing else.

We shall wait for more analysis ... and actual case law. If someone whistle-blows, that is.

Of course, if this law is harmless, imperfect or worse ... why even have it? And make case application secret? Some people want it badly under a smokescreen. The White House is as usual horse-trading and having a spine-bending quid-pro-quo with somebody else. The package cannot even be sold on its own merits, of which there are none. For the public, at least.

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Holmes

"Give Me Liberty" by Frank Miller

> So what are you all waiting for?

These things are like stockmarket crashes, or avalanches. It is unclear when or why, but then...

But i can't go too far; a breakdown of the ultra-optimized / just-in-time delivery system that makes modern society hum will cause havoc in a VERY short time. It's like an explosive collar...

The sad thing is that after a removal operation driven by idealism, mythology and anger which survives the forces of the status quo (in this case, well-militarized police forces, the private armies managed by some very dubious individuals and the professional armies), it is a fact of history that fascism comes in even harder as the sociopathic ruthless and charismatic rise to the top even more unfettered by the appearance of law than before.

Well, historians sure will be busy.

Verisign warns new dot-word domains could make internet unstable

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Holmes

Mitigated

Anything that pisses Verisign off is good, anything that wrecks the current economic "fake scarcity" model of domain names is good, but all in all the new domain names suck ...

So, overall it's good.

Another go at remote objects: Google gRPC hits beta

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Headmaster

"Remote calls like local calls" is a Bad Abstraction and Google should feel Bad

In gRPC a client application can directly call methods on a server application on a different machine as if it was a local object, making it easier for you to create distributed applications and services

A Critique of the Remote Procedure Call Paradigm -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum, Robbert van Renesse

"It is our contention that a large number of things may now go wrong due to the fact that RPC tries to make remote procedure calls look exactly like local ones, but is unable to do it perfectly.

Many of the problems can be solved by modifying the code is various ways, but then the transparency is lost.

Once we admit that true transparency is impossible, and that programmers must know which calls are remote and which ones are local, we are faced with the question of whether a partially transparent mechanism is really better than one that was designed specifically for remote access and makes no attempt to make remote computations look local at all."

US Army bug hunters in 'state of fear' that sees flaws go unreported

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Mushroom

Battlestar Erratica!

Funny thing are the juvenile wet dreams of playing Darth Vader and having everything under machine management from the belowdecks meditation room, controlled from Earth Orbit and targeted using machine analytic Big Data 24/7 "unblinking stare" 360° operational awareness shit and autonomous intelligence up the wazoo while the fa**ots are using "0000000000" as password to the Minuteman launch grid and cannot even manage to discover they are bombing a hospital for a full hour because "our combat management system is down, awww". The Uniformed Bukkakeed-by-Neocon Ones are even now starting to realize the fact that they are actively committing war crimes in Yemen by blockading the coast and tankering Saudi F-15s. Great stuff.

TalkTalk attack: UK digi minister recommends security badges for websites

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Megaphone

Knowledge is a Crime, Encryption is Self-Abuse, Freedom is Slavery etc.

"There has been some misinformation that the government are somehow against encryption"

Indeed, they are not "somehow" but "very much" against encryption.