* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16005 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

The Windows 10 future: Imagine a boot stamping on an upgrade treadmill forever

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Re: Here's the Windows 10 future I see ... it will be used to download Android desktop

Will they have Rats...

Rats? Rats in Windows?? RATS in WALLS????

Symantec antivirus bug allows utter exploitation of memory

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Headmaster

A-HAH!

So, a product that is clearly not fit for purpose and ... what's that? a Buffy Overflow in 2016? ... not being developed according to current best practices and state of the industry?

What's the number of the Tort Lawyers....

NASA flashes cash at advanced aerospace concepts

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Re: Cryogenics-proof of concept (No$Required)

Yeah. Copyright will immediately be extended to "150 years after the last blink".

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Re: As for Terraforming....

Only after we turn the whole of the Middle East into a non-lush non-paradise patrolled by killbots...

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Re: but they had such a great backronym!

Just stop at the first Rama (and the second Ringworld, i.e. the "Ringworld Engineers")

Then grab "Schismatrix".

Or maybe "Orbitsville".

Or "Gateway" (but again, stop at the first of the "series")

Sick of storage vendors? Me too. Let's build the darn stuff ourselves

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Hold on... did you just get released from Salesforce?

Any half-way competent storage administrator or systems administrator should be able to build a storage array themselves these days.

It will be down fast though. And then you will find out the management interface is missing, the documentation is missing, the disks have unspecified interface trouble, or the power supply mysteriously doesn't work and there is no maintenance contract. Aieeee!

Radiohead vid prompts Trumpton rumpus

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Trollface

Copyright Care-o-meter hovering near zero!

We consider that there is a breach of copyright and we are deciding what to do next."

"Before yesterday we thought we had invented all of western civilization all by ourselves with nary copying or inspiration. Today we learn that it is actually possible to do things that are similar to what we did and the government hasn't yet dispatched killbots. We already have hired M. Orlowski from the renowned Copyright-Pressing netzine "The Register" to write fiery articles bemoaning the planned starvation and wholescale holocaust of creative types in these modern times!"

Flash zero day phished phoolish Microsoft Office users

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Re: Tempting to say : 'Good'

"Let's play a little flash game..."

Programmed by Saw himself.

The 'new' Microsoft? I still wouldn't touch them with a barge pole

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Holmes

Re: The problem is there is nothing better.

Woah there.

If you think systemd is a problem for Linux, you are not really in the right spirit.

It's not the best of ideas but it can be tamed. Then somethign better will come along (can I get my Prolog-based startup scritping NOW???) and life will go on.

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Shitting on weather forecasters isn't enough

COMEDY GOLD!

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Trollface

HEAR HEAR!

Hear from a nonWin PC, that is.

Meanwhile my other PC is applying the latest "re-apply WIndows 10 upgrade offer nagware" "important fixes". It fails at applying it though (KB3035583)

Microsoft phone support contractors told to hang up after 15 minutes

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Re: Being paid to march

Aren't you thinking of the Prussian Stechschritt?

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Paris Hilton

Re: rubbish

Could Quantum Calls be the explanation?

If the call duration has positive modulus but is actually complex-valued, computing the sum, squaring, then averaging might still yield the missing 15 minutes!

Or maybe we need Nixon...

Curiosity find Mars' icecaps suck up its atmosphere

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Re: So ...

That's from "Right Red Hand" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

On a gathering storm comes

a tall handsome man

In a dusty black coat with

a red right hand

That doesn't sound like Trump at all.

Is uBeam the new Theranos?

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Trollface

Serbia Strong!

Wasn't it showman and neurotic inventor-cum-engineer Nikola Tesla who ripped a steel block apart at a New York demonstration using sound waves?

Maybe one of his lost inventions are BACK ON THE TABLE!

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Trollface

Unicorns would spell "was itself prove that" as "was itself proof that".

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Trollface

Re: Hype

It may prove to be an idea that sounds good on paper

I see what you did there.

A cracked window on the International Space Station? That's not good

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Holmes

But Kim can just dial up some beautiful women whenever he wants so, unlike for loner nerds, his nastiness doesn't need to become excessive.

One or two lost satellites the owners could hush up, but after there's been four taken out, it becomes a bit more difficult to deny there's a problem.

Nobody "hushes up" lost satellites. Why? Because investors and customers need assurance that orbital stuff works and stays working (plus, insurance claims may come due).

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Re: Transparent ALUMINUM?

And now I just NEED those Jefferies Tubes. Maybe with Xenomorphs inside.

Russia faces Ukraine and Georgia in Eurovision deathmatch

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Trollface

Re: Discrimination!

This year would appear to be its Kursk.

Why, are you expecting the 2nd and 1st SS Tank Division to fight on the side of Eurovsion?

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Paris Hilton

The suffering, I feel it.

"This song is precisely what we are all suffering in Ukraine today."

Phew, lad!

Well, I am sure the Azov battalion agrees.

Anyway, this should yield some epic disses.

Salesforce.com crash caused DATA LOSS

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Unfortunately by the time that decision was made, things were in a real mess.

Many nuclear reactors have died to bring us this message.

Dwarf planet intumesces before astronomers' gaze

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Re: Merlot

Ok, as long as Beaujolais Nouveau can be avoided.

Compression tool 7-Zip pwned, pain flows to top security, software tools

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Mushroom

2016

BUFFER OVERFLOWS ARE A THING!

Really!

Marc Benioff apologizes as Salesforce NA14 instance goes TITSUP

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Paris Hilton

A "Droopy" event or a "Droppy" event?

I am NOT happy.

Meanwhile, it seems NA14 has been up for a couple of hours now.

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Paris Hilton

That's amazing downtime

Was it a hit by a dirty player?

Huge embarrassment over fisting site data breach

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Trollface

Fist of God!

Sure looks like a penetration in the Ringworld.

Gartner waves for everyone to join its hyperconverged bandwagon

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Windows

Oh yeah?

Like this is going to be in NO WAY affected by the upcoming mega bubble pop of the cheap money shitters WHICH NOBODY COULD HAVE FORESEEN.

Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

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Re: Wonderful

If NATO deploys into Ukraine, the "loaned area" might well extend up to Kiev all of a sudden.

You just don't fuck around with the military interest and need of strategic leeway of an ex-super-centralized state that doesn't particularly trust you, then play nonchalant while letting your generals pump aggressive messages into the aether and having the press/TV (clearly heavily freedomized if not dogwaggified) issue incendiary commentary.

Funny how these things always happen during Olympic Games, too.

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Flame

Re: Two steps forward...

Meanwhile, at the "Pivot to Asia":

US Pivot to Asia Poised to Enter Nuclear Phase

Hmm... US to deploy first-strike-capable tactical nuclear weapons in the Pacific Theatre. What could go wrong?

We need an icon for "warming"

Tabby's Star's twinkle probably the boring business of calibration

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Holmes

Re: And this is why there is no global warming

Hmmmm....

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Holmes

Re: But why would it show a consistent decline over 100 years?

The fun with random is that they are sometimes nonrandom to our meaty pattern matcher.

In this case, the recent Twinkle Action is of interest (with obscuring comets unlikely to be the cause, so El Reg headline is a case of churnalistic errorbait), but the long-term secular "dimming" is not peculiar or distinguishable from noise when one compares against other stars in the archive.

ICANN knifes Africa's internet: New top-level domains terminated

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ICANN is a riot

I guess firing the whole lot would just set new precedents in bold steps towards "upgrading productivity and flexibility" unseen since the collapse of the Soviet Union.

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Pirate

Re: uggghhh

Palestinians are actually not "state actors".

Now that the two state solution has gone to the shitteris encountering strong challenges from the realities on the terrain, this is unlikely to change....

Death's head because, you know, free-fire zones, most moral army and all that.

Microsoft half-bricks Asus Windows 7 PCs with UEFI boot glitch

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Re: No, but seriously ...

Intel is very Coreboot-unfriendly.

Feels bad, man.

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Pirate

Re: Is the cure worse than the sickness?

Don't be a Dough Pirate!

Only buy Monsanto-branded Monsanto Dough!

And remember: rooting your toaster is a criminal offense!

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Happy

Re: A deal with the devil

No, it's deliberate.

Sick and tired of modern Windows? Upgrade to Windows 3.1 today – in your web browser

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Windows

Эй - начальник!!

> And a big shout out to Bill Gates for creating Windows

Bill Gates was not particularly involved in creating Windows, there were crazy cellar monkeys hacking up a semi-functional system while be was talking to IBM about how to bring OS/2 (and PM) to market.

Also, I find this kind of arm-raising salutes disturbing.

Windows 10 free upgrade offer ends on July 29th

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Windows

Re: People will do what they did before

Probably counting each parked domain name showing IIS running as a unique server.

Who not totally skill-less and/or in dire need of running MS-SQL because of "compatibility" issues would be running WIndows Server?

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Paris Hilton

The Last of Us

Microsoft has announced that the free all-you-can-eat Windows 10 upgrade buffet will close forever

More like "just what we give" buffet?

US$119 is the price Redmond has set for the Home version of the operating system

HA HA HA! Well incited, Redmond!

Official: Microsoft's 'Get Windows 10' nagware to vanish from PCs in July

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Trollface

Re: SatNad is my favorite M$ CEO EVER!!1!

Maybe he's Matt Bryant in shiney new clothes?

Can't be, there is no unwarranted dissing of everything Sun, no mention of "dead-end Sunshiners", no egotisitic strutting as "most hardcore admin in the West who always knew this" and no "Oracle did it first, Oracle is the best, the BEST!" ebullient enthusiasm for the red-colored House of Harkonnen.

Dadmin is rather reasonable.

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The Redmond Leviathan announces...

"Start thinking for yourself and you might find Windows 10 OK."

This politicial message brought to you from the bowels of the beast.

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WTF?

Re: Timing?

" it will take time to ramp it down."

It's like "ethnic cleansing" in that respect.

'I thought my daughter clicked on ransomware – it was the damn Windows 10 installer'

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Re: SAM Broadcaster? And the moral is...

XP Embedded made it easy to build a system that's pretty much invulnerable

This is some kind of sicko joke, right?

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FAIL

Re: I quite like Windows 10

Some eejitconfused co-citizen says:

Windows 7 is pretty ancient by IT standards

Did you mean to say "Windows 7 is pretty ancient by Microsoft marketing standards"?

I don't want to diss the probably excellently skilled and extensively manicured as well as quite likely female-by-a-high-percentage Microsoft marketing section, but these people are fuck bonkers crazy and no mistake.

Some other eejitfukken dumbass says:

The best test is to give a computer to a child and see if they can use it in a proficient manner quickly

A child can also proficiently use a suicide vest. I think we have reached the bottom of the retardation now.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Barrel. Scraped.

Are you seriously running a mission-critical server on a box with a consumer desktop version of Windows installed on it? You are aware that there are versions of Windows that have "Server" in the name? Why do you think that is?

Another version that's just not fit for mission-critical operations, just with a different price tag to re-enable "features consumers are not interested in"?

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Flame

OROROROROROROOOOOOOUUAAHHhhh~~~!

Just looking at the El Reg headlines reveals how utterly toxic and dis-empowering "consumer IT" has become.

Like getting rogered repeatedly by a cloudy, decadently embroidered and patent-encumbered elephant in must who demands money, proceeds to action, then pisses on you once his immediate needs have been fulfilled.

'Apple ate my music!' Streaming jukebox wipes 122GB – including muso's original tracks

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Re: 122GB ? Pah. Windows 10 OneDrive client ate over 200GB of my files!

Wrutten by .Net munkeys possibly so codekewl that they dropped out of uni as the material was too abstract, now hidden inside the bowel of the Redmond beast and lorded over by the marketing barons of interconnectedness and cloud sharing. Yes, GiBs will be lost.

'Bitcoin creator' Craig Yeah Wright in meltdown

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Re: Of course

Maybe he totally, utterly believes he is SN (as some people believe they are the Messiah and pull others along in their mesmerizing slipstream), but whenever he turns around and tries to prove it, reality conspires to thwart him!

It would be like a protagonist of a PKD novel. Just get romantically involved with young girls and add a bit of the IoT to make it complete.

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Big Brother

CRAIGH WRIGHT DID NOTHING WRONG!

He will be back as a politician.