* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

14722 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Google puts a gun to the head of IT middlemen – the ops teams

Destroy All Monsters
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Google dreams - no stuff, just fluff.

App Engine, BigQuery, our container engine, they just work

Sometimes they go down and then some groveling press release has to be issued.

and developers can be on their way to full 'write and run'.

I have seen code that wouldn't run inside a monkey with digestion problems.

I don't think there is a need to read much further.

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Okay IT pros, change happens. But here's your Reg guide to staying in control

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Megaphone

Re: Or join the 21st century.....

Or join the 21st century and simply adopt an Agile Software Development methodology

Change management has scant to do with development, software or otherwise. Nor with Waterfall.

Think about this. Being unable to do calculations does not mean that you magically will have enough money at the end of the month.

I am successfully managing an agile multinational BI project that started with no spec apart from the Board wanting to know "what the hell is happening in the business".

HAHA right. You are either full of bullshit or it's the rest of the team that does that actual work and you are glomming on it.

Now step away from IT and keep your hands in the air, buster.

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How one developer just broke Node, Babel and thousands of projects in 11 lines of JavaScript

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Re: @ Mark Allread

Javascript is now being used outside the browser. Node.js is one of such runtimes.

And not a single justification was ever heard for this cancerous growth.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Waaa !!!

Hush!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Left padding

This looks like something copied from a BASIC tutorial 20 years ago.

I think you mean 30 years ago.

As the Reg population ages, an "undertaker" icon will become of higher priority.

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Error checks? Eh? What could go wrong, really? (DoSing a US govt site)

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Headmaster

Re: Moral on the -1 passed as array index?

Moral on the -1 passed as array index? The moral is never do it, period.

The moral is, define an appropriate type that is ok with taking -1 as an index while normal arrays would throw.

That's what types are for.

They are statically (sometimes dynamically) verifiable constraints on the crap we produce.

And then you still lhave asserts and contracts of course.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Moral on the -1 passed as array index?

they have a copyright on rangeCheck()

They would need a patent. (Might have it too, you never can get enough ISIS on corpo-lawyers and the patent offices)

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A Logic Named Joe: The 1946 sci-fi short that nailed modern tech

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Re: Mankind Pwnd and Hope and Change Delivered with Alien Memes and Beings into Autonomous Means ‽ .

The title will be "Artificial Insanity"

I think this was a side-note in Neal Stephenson's "Anathem" (issued 2008 ... WTF? That's nearly 10 years ago. What happened?)

Neal doesn't believe in AI, but I cannot share that kind of mysticism.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: *Remarkably* sharp prediction?

Excellent reminder that this story exists. I found it in a fat "best of" compendium back when we were having fun with warbling phones.(and were probably breaking a few laws meant to protect "muh telecom infrastructure")

See also "Shock Wave Rider". Far better than Toffler's book that inspired it.

Actually Stand on Zanzibar is even better. It's practically like watching CNN and similar shit.

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Google debuts Node.js beta on its App Engine

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FAIL

Make work for idle hands

Now on Google AppEngine: Reinvented square wheel which is being flattened performance-wise by old-school Java application servers anyway and (hopefully?) meant for people who:

1) Think JavaScript must be used everywhere in spite of being so bad that there are languages on top that "transpile" to it

2) Have obviously converted to IT from management and are convinced Node.js is "hot" but are otherwise bereft of any serious domain knowledge

3) Basically haven't understood that there is an OS between their "synchronous" call and the hardware (it's what the OS is for, duh)

FAIL icon because there is no USELESS icon.

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Hands on with the BBC's Micro:Bit computer. You know, for kids

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Re: Bring your Daughter to work day

Holy damn the moderator nuked a joke that had something to do with the Corn Laws. Harsh.

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French publishers join Swedish 'Block Party' to pester ad refuseniks

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This hard on the news that students are protesting...

...because new laws are threatening to make it easier to employ them. Unions are on board.

This world: a farce

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Comms 'redlining' in Brussels as explosions kill up to 30 people

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Belgium isn't even in the war on stuff?

Blowback is a bitch but it's very unclear what Belgium has to with anything at all, including the war on terror, except that it has a large muslim population with probably quite a few fiery preachers getting financed by Saudi Arabia / Qatar.

Nice one, Amurrica. Sitting pretty in your shitty homeland while sending money to radical friends and droning the whole world.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

Re: getting close to home

Really makes you think...

Makes you think what?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Not only in the capital

keep a torch handy

Don't you mean a generator, an AKM, boxes of food and enough ammo to keep the neighbors off your lawn?

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True believers mind-meld FreeBSD with Ubuntu to burn systemd

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Re: It highlights one point ot the Unix philosophy Poettering doesn't get

It's a dev philosophy, Jim, but not as we know it!

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What to call a £200m 15,000-tonne polar vessel – how about Boaty McBoatface?

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Paris Hilton

Tell us what to name it. Unless, of course, we don't like the name you all like, in which case we'll just do what we always do and pick our own damn name

It's like US-supported regime change, then?

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Electronic Superhighway 2016-1966 – a retro: Texts, ar*se and ASCII rolls

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: KDD: "Kardashian-Driven Development"

Bah.

Sex is fucking overrated, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde.

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Destroy All Monsters
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It's about the Internet.

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Oracle fights Russian software policy with Postgres smear

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Holmes

NATO adware

Vladimir Putin's military adventures in Crimea

El Reg, please stop doing "we was attacked without provocations, honest" declarations.

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How Microsoft copied malware techniques to make Get Windows 10 the world's PC pest

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Headmaster

You seem to have serious trouble with the proper use of logical connectives (not to mention punctuation), so your opinion is probably not worth much, sorry.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Mutating Patches...

I sure hope these businesses are not using Microsoft stuff, because then their sanity must be questioned.

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Microsoft will rest its jackboot on Windows 7, 8.1's throat on new Intel CPUs in 2018 – not 2017

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Paris Hilton

Re: EOL.

Win 10 is a purely commercial OS without the faintest taint of ideological purity or political correctness, running programs and drivers distributed under any terms you could name without a whisper of protest.

I hope this kind of dross is being written by a paid grassrooter sitting in a warm office in the Redmond Complex, pining for a warm cup of coffee.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Shock report: People doing 9-to-5 just want to keep using what they are using and not be served the Windows beautified interface "change is good, it's for you best, you will like it, we have also complexified and re-styled/flattened/recolored it a bit for your amusement" bullshit. Film at 11, after Trump!

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Hackers crack OS X, Windows, web browsers' security to net $460,000

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Re: really?

Sadly ....

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Astronaut trio blast off to space station with ... er, rearview mirror toy?

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Re: They've always done this

And if it's getting elongated, you are probably too close to a black hole.

Inb4, "The Millenium Falcon has fuzzy dice in the cockpit"

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Destroy All Monsters
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Childcatcher

Putin getting uppity again, not doing as the Serious Empire tells him to!

I do think this fluffy, unidentified stuff is 100% proof of Putin's revanchist and even irredentist attitude regarding our new practically po-faced NATO partners some of which are currently orbiting national-socialism like it's going out of fashion, but this shall be hidden by the Curtain of Righthought. Can't something be done, like ordering an additional dozen F-35 or so? That plane is practically done!

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Microsoft's equality and diversity: Skimpy schoolgirls dancing for nerds at an Xbox party

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Re: Really tired of it all.

Remember that hurting someone's feelings ONCE may be a minor thing that they get over or it could be yet another occasion when they are hurt which happens multiple times every day.

DAILY MICROAGGRESSIONS!!!+

What is the government doing?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: When I was at school ...

Frankly schoolgirls today are leaving nothing to the imagination. Bring back school uniforms, I say!

I wonder how the parents finance all the beautification. Must be all those zero-interest EUROs sloshing around.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

My fetish is actually getting yelled at by Linus

As a result, some women developers walked out and at least one is making an official complaint to Redmond.

Can't take the heat? Stay in the kitchen!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Sex is a marketing way to sell stuff? What a news!

No censorship or prude intent on my end. It's just not good biz practice.

This is just like, your opinion, man/woman.

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Feds raid 'extortionist' IT security biz Tiversa, CEO put on leave

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Coat

Re: Boback...

But then the government in its most feralfederal form (a TLA created by "Edgar Hoover, The Body Remover" that is both utterly clueless and discombobulated and evil enough to ship guns to Mexican Narcos because they can) actually pays them a visit in black "smoking man" limos.

No-one knows what's going on anymore.

Not even Fox Mulder.

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Microsoft's Linux Inquisitor Grand Master is off to Spotify

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Mushroom

Is this a Who is Who of people

...on which to run kinetic strikes?

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Top rocket exec quits after telling the truth about SpaceX price war

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Those are the guys who brought you the Space Shuttle

...and not a single rational thought was had.

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UK Snoopers' Charter crashes through critics into the next level

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Holmes

Typical Labour

... the bill was a good and necessary way of updating the law ... but the bill's nickname of "Snoopers' Charter" was insulting to the people who work to make the country safer

Going along with all manner of authoritarianisms and bullshit as long as the awkward feeling that someone, somewhere might be offended or made to feel bad by the wording can be avoided.

(Himmler discreetly puking into a handkerchief and asking for a reformulation and more humane final solutions, please)

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Your unpatchable, insecure Android mobe will feel right at home in the Internet of Stuff era

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Re: Sorry, but we are far beyond that

Since classes of exploits like Rowhammer(JS) we know that sandboxes are only an illusion.

Just don' trip over your peremptory statements which seems to go to extremes with scant justification, neither theoretical nor practical.

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Michigan shooter says 'mind controlling' Uber app told him to kill

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Windows

It's called "being psychotic"

You start to assign the cause of internal impulses to random external events because your self-model doesn't match anymore what you do, right?

It happens often.

Paging Philip K. Dick etc.

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Millions menaced as ransomware-smuggling ads pollute top websites

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Re: Firefox and NoScript

Well no. That kind of ship has sailed.

Any kind of interface that is not static, just-sitting-there-waiting for you-to-post-an-ugly-form-to-a-server-like-in-a-dsytopian-retro-noir-movie needs it. I do think even North Korea is happy to have left these behind...

If you don't want scripting, you might as well go back to green screen (and without curses). It has its uses...

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Destroy All Monsters
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Windows

We need a logo for this menace

Meanwhile, bum ad-tack

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Hi-def ExoMars launch vid lacks volcanic lair vibe

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Flame

Re: Bonkers

Saturn V lifting-off from an underground base

Lifting off from underground bases is like bacon: It makes everything better and pleases the white fluffy cat overlords.

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Linus Torvalds wavers, pauses … then gives the world Linux 4.5

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Steady as she goes

...now can I get a non-cratering KDE5 release. Oh wait, Baloo has started up, oh my god it's full of stars....

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Hackers turn to angr for automated exploit discovery and patching

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Re: All this talk

It's all about going Brazzers on dat code!

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UK fella is a multimillion-dollar cyber-hustle mastermind – US DoJ

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Five airplanes?

What do you do with those?

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Reprogrammble routers axed by TP-Link as FCC bans custom firmware

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Re: Stupid

That is a strawman argument used by the people who lobbied for this reg

Oh surprise!

Same as those old "special national connectors for telephones" meant to prevent "harm to the infrastructure".

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DARPA to geeks: Weaponize your toasters … for America!

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Re: Fire!

Big Data in action!

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Obama puts down his encrypted phone long enough to tell us: Knock it off with the encryption

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Big Brother

Monty Python did a song about Kissinger (the other ultrakill-holding Nobel Peace Prize holder)

...there should one about Obama

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Anti-cyber-attack biz Staminus is cyber-attacked, mocked by card-leaking tormentors

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Holmes

"a system-wide event, making our backbone unavailable."

Don't sweat it, that happens to politicians all the time.

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Crap IT means stats crew don't really know how UK economy's doing

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Windows

Install R!

Also, how can you pretend to find out how the economy is doing when you have bullshit measure like "GDP", a value of double-accounting, cost-can-kicking and fudging if there ever was one?

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A typo stopped hackers siphoning nearly $1bn out of Bangladesh

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Windows

Bah

Totally pales against a 3 billion USD-per-month "Quantiative Easing" Repubocrat-condoned robbery of the taxpayer via fresh "money" injections. The EU is even worse with Mahrio N'Dhraghi nuking the Eurozone wholesale from the ECB orbit (with that kind of name the guy must be an alien "who comes in peace")

We need an icon where someone is requesting a smoke and otherwise looks blasé when facing certain end.

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IBM to erase 14,000 people from the payroll – Wall St analyst

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Paris Hilton

"lower labour cost countries"

Hold on, these still exist?

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