* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16005 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Java open-source frameworks 'pose risk' to biz - report

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Facepalm

Enhanced knowledge!

People use frameworks, or they don't. This may increase risk or lower risk. Misconfiguration may play a role. Conclusions can or cannot be drawn, and any conclusion drawn may be due to sampling, preselection, look-elsewhere effects or lousy stats.

Next: Activities of bears in woods.

Microsoft dev tools to add Linux-style source code versioning

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Holmes

Re: explanation for commenter "dgharmon"

You have a problem deploying a package archive to the staging server.

1) Ask the developer chilling in front of the Windows GUI

"Sure, I hit "build all - package". Then I fire up Putty to transfer the whole copy manually which can be found down in this directory. Depending on the target server, I have to choose different subdirectories though. The password is copy-pasted from this file. It takes about half an hour for the upload. Can't we use a Maven plugin for Eclipse to do all of that?"

2) Ask the developer chilling in front of the KDE GUI

"Sure, I hit "build all - package". I fire up this little Perl script I finagled earlier and pass the target server on the command line. It automatically selects the correct files and rsyncs the whole package to the server in about 10 seconds. Authentication? SSH keys, of course. Plugins? Sod that, I have enough problems as it is"

Help us out here: What's the POINT of Microsoft Office 2013?

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Thumb Up

Re: There is no point.

veneer engineering

Pretty good. You have to pronounce it like Samuel Jackson did "Royale with Cheese", I suppose.

Oracle 'fesses up: Java security flaws more than storm in teacup

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Facepalm

Re: Java

> All the smart devs know that Java shops turn out shite.

Just what the fuck? /b/ is over there.

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Trollface

Re: Oracle

But in the end one is left with gaping holes either way.

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Facepalm

Unbreakable Bullshit

"The plan for Java security is really simple: it's to get Java fixed up, number one, and then, number two, to communicate our efforts widely."

Talk like a politician. Confuse goals and the way and means to attain them. Mix in some "communication efforts". Probably raise taxes down the line...

Fujitsu reveals data transfer protocol 30 times faster than TCP

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This is how it is done!

"A Fairer, Faster Internet Protocol"

--- Set up a website with the docs, philosophy and rationale

--- Write some RFCs

--- Write an article for IEEE Spectrum (in 2008)

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Trollface

Re: Yet another bad research paper

You can't include links when phoning it in...

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WTF?

What the fuckety fuck

Ok, so, another protocol that is "not TCP". I do think there have been several proposal during the last ten years.

From the CERN courier, Nov 2005:

Theoretical models now exist for alternatives to TCP that can be mathematically proved not to cause congestion collapse, and work is ongoing to test these models experimentally. Some of these alternatives promise to balance traffic across the Internet, and to deliver high data rates and much better quality of service for services like voice-over-Internet-Protocol (VoIP) and live video - all at the same time. It seems likely that these theories will find their way into the mainstream Linux and Windows kernels within the next five years or so, and we hope that they will serve for many years to come.

Indeed. Why is this "based on UDP"? Doesn't that make it UDP? There is a "protocol" (IPv4) and "next header" (IPv6) field in the IP packet, use it!

More important, where is the RFC?.

Greedy Apple told it can't triple Samsung's $1bn patent payout

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Ok, so it had rounded corners.

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Trollface

We will stop enhancing the truth in three.. two.. one...

The idea that an "Enrichment center" is actually just a lawyers' club comes to mind.

Meet قلب, the programming language that uses Arabic script

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Devil

Re: Lisp

That's probably because you are not a computer scientist. Or you are one, but sadly of Generation Twitter.

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Trollface

Re: And the first programme written is...

I think that's the "72 virgins.exe"

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Devil

Re: Come back APL

> the use of APL was blamed, in part, for 1980s hedge fund failures

1) Build rickety financial shite that you only pretend to understand (because "PhD in maths", natch)

2) Crash like the fat-arsed pretentious prick that you are, taking people's pension schemes with you

3) ???

4) "It was the programming language! Honestly!"

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Re: @Suricou Raven, you owe your english teacher an apology.

The code above may well result in a Fatwa against you, how will you know??

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Devil

Re: Terrorists...

The NSA will go bonkers. Now they need ANOTHER building.

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Coat

Greppy Python's "The Search For the Holy Code"

god it is tedious enough without adding chintz to the page

"Go back to web development, which will forever stay your lot, peasant!!"

(Rides away, in search of Penrose Tilings)

They didn't predict that: Astrologers! blamed! after! Yahoo! hack!

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Re: I tried the following:

Mafia takes just one "f". Try again.

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Holmes

May I be the first to say that the subheading, this time, takes the cake.

"The weak link in the Yahoo! attack was not programmed by Yahoo! developers, nor was it even hosted on the Yahoo! servers, and yet the company found itself breached as a result of third-party code,"

Legislation in force in certain european countries imply that your arse will be hauled in front of the beak for that and you may be looking at 1 year jailtime and fines of up to 125'000 EUR. Pucker up!

Zuck on it, Google: 'Public' Facebook events are dead to you

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Holmes

Plan Zuck! That's where we wake up the dead....

What Facebook is in effect telling its users is that the company needs to build a web within the web in order to encourage everyone to create an account and make Facebook more money as it fends off Google.

Isn't that like Microsoft Network opening the cover of its well-deserved coffin (from inside) to horrible creaking? Bystanders are bound to get a yeast infection.

Researchers break records with MILLION-CORE calculation

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Holmes

Can we have a piping hot update on the following problems in computation, please:

1) Classical General Relativity problems. Computing the behaviour of a 4-D warping, lorentzian spacetime? Hell yeah.

2) Lattice Quantum Chromodynamics, which, AFAIK is impossible to parallelize efficiently.

Why did your outsourced IT fall over? Cos you weren't on Twitter

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Trollface

Re: I just don't get it.

Maybe you should tweet about this to get it out of your system..

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Re: Nexus of Forces

That's actually a chakra, maybe your hara and possibly your anus.

Chi up in there!

Iran develops working ICBM: Intercontinental Ballistic Monkey

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Mushroom

"nuclear fears grow"

You mean as warmongering by lobbys connected to Israeli crazies and possibly X-tian end-timers grow. Not to mention attempts to get rid of Chuck Hagel who seems to be not immediately ready to go for another war. Luckily spineless ooze John Kerry has been removed from the freezer to provide much-needed pliability

I hope to $DEITY they all get throat cancer from the yelling.

The Oric-1 is 30

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Windows

Re: Is it really 30 years ago

You made me remember Level 9!!!!

And now I also remember that I am still waiting for the arrival in my mailbox of "The Worm In Paradise". It shuld arrive any day now ... Man, these mail-order outfits were dodgy.

Pop tix touts slung in the cooler for 4 years after £3m web scam

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Trollface

Re: How come bankers get bailouts, then?

Implying a financial services IT guy has any clue about banking

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Re: How come bankers get bailouts, then?

Hmmm a downvote.

Are there banksters here tonight?

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Holmes

How come bankers get bailouts, then?

> In reality, there were never any tickets available.

Sounds like run-of-the-mill fractional reserve banking to me. Here, have a loan based on nonexistent money. I will collect the interest. MUAHAHAH!

Patch often: Cyber-crim toolkits love stinky old gaping holes

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Trollface

Re: trauma inducing headline!

> holding my breath

Very recherché.

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Headmaster

Re: "So we should regularly update our Java runtimes?"

Or just not use the Java plugin.

It's amazing how many people are completely confused by the fact that having a "Java runtime" or a "Java JDK" does not imply that it will run Applets from the Internet unless the browser has been configured to do so or one runs JNLP files indiscriminately. Additionally, JVMs from some vendors may exhibit security problems, JVMs from other vendors may not.

In the December 2012 of IEEE Computer, Lee Garber (IEEE Computer Society’s senior news editor) writes about the Java (or rather, the Snoracle) Security wobbles and seems to be totally unsure about the difference between applet running and application running. He then cites Gary McGraw, chief technology officer of software-security consultancy Cigital (who he?) who proceeds to say:

“Java is beginning to show its age. There are many newer platforms that might be better from a security perspective, such as Ruby on Rails, HTML5, and .NET.”

Total confusion. Or lazyness. Or worse. RoR for running applets? .NET?? Securely??? I don't think so.

Filter Great Firewall of China's architects at US borders - petition

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Holmes

Re: Progressives everywhere

For those who are confused:

Even the Neocon Post agrees that the Magic Negro's administration is into snorting the data

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Big Brother

Progressives everywhere

These tools are used by the kumbaya Obama administration to root out leakers, pursue people who contact journalists and find out who exfiled details about the latest scheme to kill, main, obfuscate, deny, control, wiretap, spy and powergrab.

Have you no shame!!

Star Trek saviour JJ Abrams joins the dark side: Star Wars VII

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Devil

But up until the trash truck hit the Ewok Community, it was pretty good.

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Re: Oh God NO!

BECAUSE NERDS!!!

Plinkett RUINS YOUR WORK SCHEDULE OF THE AFTERNOON ... in SPAAAACE!

Boffins baffled over pulsar with 'split personality'

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Pint

Very interesting indeed.

But now .... quickly say ten times "bare quark star" and "quare bark star". I dare you!

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Re: Well

That was "Dragon's Egg" I think. A jolly good read, indeed.

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Re: Malfunctioning power source...

> clips

Microsoft may be readying Outlook for ARM – or not

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Trollface

Re: "...its future is clouded by internal politics"

"Crippled by Ballmer"

The new motto going forward!

Boeing 787 fleet grounded indefinitely as investigators stumped

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Trollface

Re: Hmmm?

It would be cool to have a "burning battery eject" mechanism on the plane. Shurely 50 years of nuke madness and trickery of unloading bomb bays have given us the required skills?

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Re: Baffled inspectors

In that case, why not test them in place?

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Holmes

Who did the inspectors who qualified the 787 work for?

Is it:

A: Some board that regulates air travel and does not seem to be very good at it

B: Some board that regulates air safety and that urban legend says is successful at doing so (more successful than commercial pressure and advances in technology, that is)

C: An even worse paper-shunting board that no-one knows what it does, really

D: An organization that is actually involved in building and designing aircraft

I don't know why people deplore that the answer is actually D.

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Holmes

Re: I'd look at the Battery Power Conditioning Circuits

> Why in hells sake are people down-voting this?

Web monkeys.

Climate shocker: Carry on as we are until 2050, planet will be fine

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Facepalm

Re: Interesting threads in the Independent @Don Jefe

Not the Koch brothers evil über-conspiracy and knowledge suppression again.

Proggos are into that kind a shit.

If they had the money they would use it to inform us, natch.

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Paris Hilton

Re: The very fact

There were "climate classes" in the 90's?

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Holmes

> Bayesian probabilities

There are no such things. There are probabilities. And then there are Bayesians and Frequentists.

More here: Bayes and Frequentism: a Particle Physicist's Perspective

But good link.

Facebook DIES ON THE VINE hours after Twitter tie-in

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Happy

Re: FB's Snarky blog post

Hmmmm

Clarifying Our Platform Policies By Justin Osofsky - Yesterday at 12:00pm

Over the past few days, we’ve received questions about a few of our platform policies and want to clarify our thinking.

For the vast majority of developers building social apps and games, keep doing what you’re doing. Our goal is to provide a platform that gives people an easy way to login to your apps, create personalized and social experiences, and easily share what they’re doing in your apps with people on Facebook. This is how our platform has been used by the most popular categories of apps, such as games, music, fitness, news and general lifestyle apps.

For a much smaller number of apps that are using Facebook to either replicate our functionality or bootstrap their growth in a way that creates little value for people on Facebook, such as not providing users an easy way to share back to Facebook, we’ve had policies against this that we are further clarifying today (see I.10).

We are committed to helping you build great apps with Facebook, and will continue to invest in products that help you succeed while creating a healthy ecosystem.

Sounds like nothing is being said.

Samsung demands Apple's iOS 6 source code in patent case

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WTF?

Re: Saucy

I would consider this appropriate in copyright infringement cases, but in this case it's about patents. If it is not clear by looking at the device black-box wise whether a patent is even being infringed, said patent paper should be used as canine fecal removement tool and the USPTO doofus who granted it should be GITMOed for aggravated asshattery.

Amazon: IVONA bevy of 'all natural' blabber babes to beat Siri

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Angel

Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Centre. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment centre activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from GFRXTHGGGHHHNAAAK

Tablets aren't killing ereaders, it's clog-popping wrinklies - analyst

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Re: Correlation != Causation

> Where's Cap'n Jack when you need him?

Evidently retired