* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16005 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Mystery Russian satellite: orbital weapon? Sat gobbler? What?

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Trollface

Re: Again?

It's like Bad Santa has finally arrived outside of Hollywood movies.

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Paris Hilton

clandestine Russian spacecraft

What you say? Clandestine? Not cleared with the American Empire? Unacceptable! HARDER SANCTIONS NOW, BOOTS ON THE GROUND, ALL OPTIONS ON THE TABLE (except sexual ones, probably).

Seriously, does a nation need to contat an international clearinghouse dealing in space stuff? I suppose it's a good idea to phone ahead to other nations of a launch lest someone push the red button in undue haste, but apart from that?

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Paris Hilton

Re: Persecution

Wasn't Gaydar the guy how Really Has No Luck At All on Battlestar Galactica?

That dreaded syncing feeling: Will Microsoft EVER fix OneDrive?

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Re: Their are issues with Google drive aswell..

Feel free to submit articles highlighting problems with other products, oh quasi-anonymous Microsoft supporter.

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Re: I stopped reading at...

Gartner?

Cries of spies as audit group finds possible 'backdoor' in Bittorrent Sync

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Pint

Re: Bak To Skool

'Twas typen in the pub downstairs, so cogratulate instead!

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Phew Phew Phew!

Now Uber can take EVERYONE for a ride

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Holmes

Outperforming Elizabeth Warren in the hot air business?

El Reg - determining the "correct levels of wages" for musicians and taxi drives since the early 21st century.

A pipe-smoking, leather elbow patch tweed jacket wearing job with tradition!

Meet OneRNG: a fully-open entropy generator for a paranoid age

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"Remember: UBIKRAND's entropy is smooth and easy. Avoid prolonged use."

That's Philip K. Dick levels of paranoia. You can't check for that.

Simon's says quantum computing will work

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Thumb Up

Re: WTF am I reading?

Yes

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Headmaster

WTF am I reading?

To put that another way: if we know that a quantum computer can be made to outperform a classical machine, we've got a bit more confidence that the research money isn't being wasted.

We DO know the former. If it turns out that for some as-yet-unknown reasons, the QC actually does NOT manage to follow the mathematical description of QM, that would be monster spectacular and open the road for re-evaluation. Shurely not a waste of money one way or the other.

There it is! Philae comet lander found in existing Rosetta PICS

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lee of a rock formation

More like a large heap of snowy slush and assorted crud.

DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

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But if there is no branch in the BPMN diagram for that case, what you gonna do?

The future: Imagine dunning letters flying in your face .... forever!

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Facepalm

Re: You are just a number, to be bled for corporate profit.

Please feel free to open the "fair trade" mobile shop, for kinder, gentler, more socialistic and less alienating service.

You will get a free Che shirt when opening an account.

Stephen King, William Gibson and The Quantum Moment

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Trollface

”The theory cannot be expressed pictorially and mere words mean nothing” (Heisenberg)

A those nuggets of the wise ancients, like alchemical musings they are. Just add mandragore.

Meanwhile:

Quantum Picturalism

The quantum mechanical formalism doesn't support our intuition, nor does it elucidate the key concepts that govern the behaviour of the entities that are subject to the laws of quantum physics. The arrays of complex numbers are kin to the arrays of 0s and 1s of the early days of computer programming practice. In this review we present steps towards a diagrammatic `high-level' alternative for the Hilbert space formalism, one which appeals to our intuition. It allows for intuitive reasoning about interacting quantum systems, and trivialises many otherwise involved and tedious computations. It clearly exposes limitations such as the no-cloning theorem, and phenomena such as quantum teleportation. As a logic, it supports `automation'. It allows for a wider variety of underlying theories, and can be easily modified, having the potential to provide the required step-stone towards a deeper conceptual understanding of quantum theory, as well as its unification with other physical theories. Specific applications discussed here are purely diagrammatic proofs of several quantum computational schemes, as well as an analysis of the structural origin of quantum non-locality. The underlying mathematical foundation of this high-level diagrammatic formalism relies on so-called monoidal categories, a product of a fairly recent development in mathematics. These monoidal categories do not only provide a natural foundation for physical theories, but also for proof theory, logic, programming languages, biology, cooking, ... The challenge is to discover the necessary additional pieces of structure that allow us to predict genuine quantum phenomena.

And also:

”Cultural anxieties during 1920s Germany were ultimately the reason why the founders of Quantum Mechanics placed randomness at the centre of their theory”.

This bodes well for new advances in the early 21st century, where permanent observation, economic and cultural upheavals and the death throes of the american empire are sure to lead to new metaphors.

Microsoft exams? Tough, you say? Pffft. 5-YEAR-OLD KID passes MCP test

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Thumb Down

Re: Good for him.

Why is studying random details with no sense and meaning good for him?

Might as well study the slightly wrong decimal expansion of Pi to 10'000 digits.

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Better play WoW

spends roughly two hours a day studying Microsoft's operating system

He's a goner.

Assassin's Creed bugs shift setting to LSD-drenched 1960s Paris

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Holmes

Re: That hell under paris exists!

Well, you can get both now, plus sourly commuters pressed into Métro like SAUCISSONS, and possibly gang fights / a stolen wallet / extremely overpriced coffee / taxis shamelessly fleecing you / CRS feeling, if not beating you up because you were caught near a protest action by Force Ouvrière.

It's like Upper Volta with a Tour Eiffel.

Lights OUT for Philae BUT slumbering probot could phone home again as comet nears Sun

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Paris Hilton

Re: A lot of people think...

80% of it's mission

How are these 80% measured and are they like the perennial "80% of the software project is done now, I swear!"?

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Alien

which outer solar system mission would you rather was abandoned completely so that this mission might be able to get a small amount of additional science done?

Because pols and green freaks can't find their arse with both hands we are left with the choice:

"Do you want to suck a lot or to suck a whole lot?"

(And protest placards will go up in any case while much handwringing will occur in the corridors of power and questions are asked whether that Europa probe might not be better powered with renewable energies)

I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

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Mushroom

"The shirt I wore this week … I made a big mistake, and I offended many people and I am very sorry about this,"

BIG MISTAKE.

Tell all those motherfuckers off, dude! Seriously, punch them in their fucking FACE even the FEMALES. These zombified people wouldn't even DARE to say something from behind their assorted neurotic complexes when you met them in the street.

Apple: Want a PATCH for iOS Masque attack? TOUGH LUCK, FANBOI

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Paris Hilton

Is misread this as "ISIS Mosque" attack

Am I being unduly influence by Amurrican reporting?

Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

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Mushroom

Those "6 months" are your advantage to make money, eejit.

"It's not copying, it's theft. They stole our time, time we could have had with our families."

Decide on that upfront.

Cretin.

Exit the dragon: US govt blows $325m on China-beating 300PFLOPS monster computer

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Re: For some strange reason the expression "arms race"..........

Strategic Computing: DARPA and the Quest for Machine Intelligence, 1983-1993

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Trollface

3rd generation computing!

and scientists will be to use familiar high-level programming languages – C, C++ and Fortran

The 60s called, and ALGOL wants to have a word!

Poll trolls' GCHQ script sock puppets manipulate muppets

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Headmaster

"Stop and Thinkst"

Thou hast no spelling reviewer, sad monk?

The Lambda that ROARED: Amazon unveils event-driven AWS compute service

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Facepalm

Is this really 2014?

So is this, like, a production system for the cloud?

At launch, the service supports writing Lamba functions in JavaScript – specifically, Node.js

Most shitty idea every. Bad client-side language and a worse framework from Sophomore Acme Productions that tries to lift it to a server-side language and just creates problems in concurrency and exception handling ready to snag the poor sods that decided to invest in it.

Proper actor languages? No, we are catering to people who think JavaScript is COOL and STARTUPPY.

Not even once.

Rosetta probot drilling denied: Philae has its 'leg in the air'

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Alien

Re: Two Legs

Lack of gravitas.

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Mushroom

Re: Well, I hope they work things out and can sample the comet!

WHERE IS YOUR WHITE WHALE NOW?

Sorry, I mean ... finance IMMEDIATELY a second mission with my dear TAX EUROS instead of feeding them into maw of entitled civil euroserpents (who permanently detect "austerity" == a conspicious failure to upgrade their paycheck for now particular reason)

Why did men evolve map-reading skills? They were PAID BY BONK - study

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Holmes

Compared with other cognitive differences between the sexes...

such as cultural differences in maths skills

I see the hedging you did there.

Unfortunately, reality won't be denied.

what you would expect if mating was the payoff for travel

We have arrived at the level where NOT mating is the payback for travel, so I'm sure it's gonna even out eventually. Luckily we have electronic maps these days.

Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

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Holmes

Re: "most important book"

Mein Kampff is back up in the popular lists too, seriously.

And why not. Pulp fiction is always good, people are reading Hillary's book too etc.

Also: It's either "Mein Kampf" or "Voight-Kampff", do not mix the two.

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Holmes

Re: "most important book"

That's because "Das Kapital" was trashed by Böhm Bawerk even before WWI and only hipsters sporting Che T-Shirts find any redeeming value in that multi-tome work.

Note that Marx conveniently died before managed to finish his Magnum Opus so he never had to deliver on his promise that we would explain eventually how all of the demagoguery culled from a few centuries of communist collectivist dogma and moaning (always ending in tears and people being shot for not following the line to peasant freedom) actually makes any sense.

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Flame

The Bible

Most rectconned book of all times. Rewritten several times and redacted according to prevalent dogma / papal edicts. The older part was about removing kebabs, chosen people being strong for their tribe and relentless hailing of genocide, with some rape throw in. Also possibly written at the time when human consciousness underwent deep remodeling, though that is evidently debatable.

Flaming Bush icon, of course.

P.S. "A Brief History of Time" on 3rd place? Utterly Ridiculous.

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The C++ Programming Language

BLETCH.

I detect purposefully inflammatory, senseless remarks and irreverent trolling.

Or else the IT horizon of dear commentard must be smaller than one of a neutron star.

GIANT sunspot returns, bigger and belchier than ever before

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Trollface

Helioseismologists - they're a thing - warn of solar flares and coronal mass ejections

Their message is probably followed by "this announcement does not apply to the following countries: Italy"

Bouncy bouncy: Comet probot Philae landed twice

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Paris Hilton

Re: What is the pull of gravity of that rock?

Assume a spherical cowhot fudge sundae with the following physical characteristics:

Mass ~1.0 ×10^13 kg

Mean density ~0.4 g/cm³

This yields a sphere of ~1800m radius if I am not mistaken, so all the mass underneath will attract you with 2 * 10^(-4) N/kg at the ball's surface.

This is not much.

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Paris Hilton

They had to trust their theory!!!!

Magic engineering, how does it work?

Behold the Lumia 535 NOTkia: Microsoft wipes Nokia brand from mobes

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Facepalm

Re: Finland should consider itself lucky

If they wanted everyone to know it was Finnish, they should have spelled it Nökiä!

Ikea is (originally) swedish.

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Facepalm

Re: Finland should consider itself lucky

I'm sure Americans will learn where Finland is as soon as Putin pops round under the guise of re-unifying Karelia.

Madame Victoria Nuland-Kagan, please go back to your inside-the-beltway psycho grottothink tank.

Microsoft's Lync becomes 'Skype for Business'

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Headmaster

"raises the prospect of over-the-top calls eating their lunches"

"You actually using that pipe you are paying me for will ruin me!"

That telecom argument didn't make any sense back in 2000. It doesn't now. Stop it.

Groupon flees from army of angry GNOMES: Trademark bid for 'Gnome' tab scrapped

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Trollface

Change of plan!

So will they now try the Trojan Rabbit manoeuver?

Patch Windows boxes NOW – unless you want to be owned by a web page or network packet

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Re: Update FAIL (?)

Fair one: I was a little harsh in attacking someone I have never met in my life with some pretty unpleasant vitriol.

It happens to the best of us, especially when in thrall to Microsoft Rage.

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Facepalm

Adobe "security bulletin" ...

NoScript enabled? Blank page! I guess that will fix you, consumer!

"Now the final solution ... shall be applied!"

Microsoft snorefest: For crying out loud, Nadella – just channel Ballmer!

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Re: "The genius of Ballmer"

2014: People that can be spotted on facebook are "genius".

Get with the times.

Consumer group SLAMS NASA for letting Google rent $1bn 'playground'

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Re: What's so neat about it? @ckm5

That's why all the weed pharmacies in CA are all afraid of the DEA, because pot is still illegal by federal law.

Downvoted for stating the truth.

As that german terrorist once said: "You wanted a miracle? I give you EFF BEE EYE!"

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Facepalm

Why EXACTLY is a CONSUMER watchdog watching what NASA does?

Mangy dog. I would immediately cancel my membership and possibly sue for "misuse of funds to pursue goals not in accordance with stated purpose and causing of rage, great psychological harm and irreparable febrility due to increased blood pressure".

"The lease gives Google unprecedented control of a federal facility to use as its own playground,” said John M. Simpson, director of the body's Privacy Project.

And this a problem how exactly?

Euro space boffins ready, mere hours from flinging Rosetta lander at Comet 67P

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Re: "into a speeding comet"?????

WHAT WOULD LOHAN SAY?

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Headmaster

You have to demonstrate sufficient level of pointy-hairedness first, preferably using a signed affidavit.

ESA sends back PRE-LANDING COMET CLOSE-UPS

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Re: Cool

I am rather reminded of the Medeiran interior. Very gritty heaps of eroded volcanic crud which somehow look large when seen from afar.

What kind of generation doesn't stick it to the Man, but to Taylor Swift instead?

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"Songwriters" are citizens who put themselves on exceedingly chiseled pedestals. Without having the fat cat CEO power to justify it.