* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16085 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Samsung claims key-value Z-SSD will be fastest flash ever

Destroy All Monsters
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Frankly this is amazing. Will they REALLY reach 3nm?

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Insects with farts that smell like coriander assist in covering up Paris's aroma d'urine

Destroy All Monsters
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Windows

Welp!

their fair city has an unfortunate reputation for, shall we say, aroma d'urine

Let's just say they failed to build a wall in time and now it's over.

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Good news: Largest, most ancient known galaxy supercluster is spotted. Bad news: It's collapsing on itself

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Go back to your Galaxy, Yoda!

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Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

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Paris Hilton

So, do you really TRUST AZURE?

I would rather go with AWS even if Dr. Bezos puts underpaid & undocumented immigration labor harvested from sanctuary cities into remote control cages and electroshocks them to keep them in line while a white balloon patrols the aisles.

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UK defence secretary ponders £50m hit to terminate Capita recruiting contract

Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Re: Whilst I'm no lover of Capita...

Capita are some sort of militant pacifists committed to removal of all armed forces

Maybe another P.U.T.I.N. operation?

Where is Louise Mensch when you need her to hysterically tweet?

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Mushroom

"Conservative former defence minister Mark Francois"

BY HARRY AND ST. GEORGE!!!

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Softcat warns of Brexit cloud forming over UK tech, vows: If prices rise, we'll pass them on...

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Holmes

"businesses like certainty and predictability"

Completely wrong.

According to my 300+ years of experience, businesses like decision making based on "the feelz" and apparently crack cocaine, like going out on random limbs legally, organisationally and intellectually, like evidence-free unrealistic deadlines, and like pissing key people off for no good reason whatsoever, planting whole sections of the cunterpriseenterprise hard.

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Well slap my ass and call me Judy, Microsoft's Surface Pro 6 is just as hard to fix as the old one

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Trollface

Re: Overpriced

But if you take it to the recycling center it will probably see a nice trip to an African landfill, so there is that...

The Lords Who Formerly Used to Say Ni: "We want you to take apart the priciest gear of Microsoft with ... a screwdriver!!" (Shock Sound!)

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The mysterious life of Luc Esape, bug fixer extraordinaire. His big secret? He's not human

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Holmes

Re: ""Who owns the intellectual property and responsibility of a bot contribution: "

The most important thing is: don't fall into the trap of thinking that there is an "owner" for content created by a machine. There isn't -- it is in the public domain.

Lego elements are created by machine. They are not "public domain".

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human engineers do not accept contributions from bots as easily as contributions from other humans, even if they are strictly identical

I seriously doubt this is true, and if so, it's just temporary.

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Pint

Re: The title is no longer required.

I have enough Heinz Beans, ammo and AKM to repel the social meedja zombocalypse.

Bring it on!

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GitHub grabs a piece of the Actions: 'A project that will do for software development what we did for the pull request'

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It sounds like GitHub invented Git?

Yeah, it was a good invention.

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Hunt for Red Bugtober: US military's weapon systems riddled with security holes – auditors

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But then Guatemalean peasants had to die...

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In Windows 10 Update land, nobody can hear you scream

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The Hunt for Bug October

A Redmondian "October Surprise".

"Excessively thrilling. Will make you loose your files!" - NYT Movie Reviews

"Keeps you glued to the seat until Microsoft Support picks up the phone." - HuffPo Cinema

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Microsoft yanks the document-destroying Windows 10 October 2018 Update

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Backup broken too.

We have definitely reached Peak Stupidity in Software Development.

"What's a ... 'buhlean'?"

"Don't know, do I look like I went to study medicine. Just install this new framework, it's come out yesterday, then we can code!"

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Azure goes quiet, Huawei Canada ban urged, US Senators are after Google, and more

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AI's next battlefield is literally the battlefield: In 20 years, bots will fight our wars – Army boffin

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Mushroom

Re: Robot Wars!

Trump and Putin seem to be the sane ones in the circus of Israel Firsters, Neocons, Deep Staters. End-Timer Evangelicas and NYT/WaPo editorialists all so hot to get this nuke show going.

I don't know whether lighting candles is enough anymore.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Humans will always have the most important battlefield role

Killing people isn't the goal of war, at least other than ethnic cleansing type wars. Unfortunately, sometimes it is the only (or at least easiest) way to accomplish the actual goal.

Rare levels of top bullshit detected.

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Destroy All Monsters
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This is not parkour, it's walking a staircase.

What is the secret? A Rodney Brooks "Cambrian Intelligence" bottom-up state machine hierarchy?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Humans will always have the most important battlefield role

Wasn't the theoretical neutron bomb supposed to kill people without affecting infrastructure?

No, the (very practical) "neutron bomb" is meant to kill advancing Soviet tank divisions.

But what do you do if the tank crew knows it is fucked anyway so let's have a good time in the next few hours, eh?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Mushroom

Completely mental, please ship this human reject to a superfund site,

“It’s coming and will be a reality in 20 years,” Kott said. "Humans are going to be a lot less visible and we will get used to it."

You may have to get used to a nuclear wasteland quite a bit before that, the way you are going, fucking arsehole.

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Microsoft reveals xlang: Cross-language, cross-compiler and coming to a platform near you

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Paris Hilton

Kerr Black Hole!

So is this like Apache Thrift

"Apache Thrift allows you to define data types and service interfaces in a simple definition file. Taking that file as input, the compiler generates code to be used to easily build RPC clients and servers that communicate seamlessly across programming languages. Instead of writing a load of boilerplate code to serialize and transport your objects and invoke remote methods, you can get right down to business."

(RPC? I prefer messaging, but RPC is ok if it stays on the same machine and best in the same process and you can live with having really tight binding in the application.)

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UK.gov asks: Are sadistic AI price-bots ganging up on you?

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Headmaster

OH YEAH?

It is my opinion that a regulator should drop by and ask for the symbolic pricing logic, no neural networks allowed.

An article in the CACM by (Robin Hill I think) said that the handlers are ALWAYS responsible for the "method", because "the Algorithm" with a capital A does not decide to change prices all by its own volition. That is just a hand-washing gesture -- which should not wash. Sadly, the rest of the article was woke bollocks, trying to strenously avoid the conclusion that if the "AI" (i.e. the statistical filter) turns out to do something which can be construed as "racist discrimination", that jsut *may* have to do something with the underlying reality. Just saying.

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Headmaster

Gouging is ok if...

This ranges from personalised pricing – where the shop knows you're rich, or have just been paid

Not Justified

to to real-time dynamic pricing, such as putting the price up at the pumps just before the school run

Justified as this pricing gives the Chelsea Tractor Woman a signal to not lock up the fracking pump queue and wait till 12:00. Psychologically the displayed price should be accompanied with a nice MRTG graph showing price evolution (in which case, war with Iran -> integer overflow)

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Broadcom, its baffling $19bn CA biz gobble, and the fake Pentagon memo crying about national security

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How does a review help if security is a process?

Oh I got it:

1) International Roid Rage Capitalism + Diversity Religion

2) Security and Trust in High-Assurance Goodies

Choose one!

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With sorry Soyuz stuffed, who's going to run NASA's space station taxi service now?

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Re: Still mad about the Shuttle program...

That's the first time I have someone wax melancolic over that particular dangerous self-exploding super-costly white complexophant.

Like Excel, the Shuttle was a bad idea implemented badly.

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Devil

Re: No worries

This IS Trump's Space Force.

I lolled at SLS being "100% over budget".

How is this even possible seeing how this launcher thingy is supposed to be based on "trusted & true" technologies?

Did someone menace the Boeing project manager to compress his Gantt chart while demanding that various bells & whistles be added here & there?

"Second, we found flaws in NASA’s evaluation of Boeing’s performance, resulting in NASA inflating

the contractor’s scores and leading to overly generous award fees. Specifically, in the six evaluation periods since 2012 in which NASA provided ratings, Agency officials deemed Boeing’s performance “excellent” in three and “very good” in three other periods, resulting in payment of $323 million or 90

percent of the available award and incentive fees."

Oh. This sounds like something political.

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Russian rocket goes BOOM again – this time with a crew on it

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Re: Oops.

Agreed, sadly their trajectory matched the curve of Putin's credibility rating.

...as retold by Western Media.

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Workplace services-flinger Sodexo pulls Engage website after division hit by malware smackdown

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Re: Serves them right...

Making kids lifetime diabetic cripples by providing junk food dispensers in schools while bronveloping the director sure counts as consumer engagement to me.

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PC makers: Intel CPU shortages are here to stay ... for six months

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Holmes

Mister Rothbard, I presume?

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Chinese Super Micro 'spy chip' story gets even more strange as everyone doubles down

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Ha HA!

So less a "China Spy Chip" are more likely a US John "Bolt-On" Chip

The Ethernet idea is especially bizarre. Send out Ethernet frames in the blind hope that they are somehow routed to the Internet. What?

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Intel's commitment to making its stuff secure is called into question

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Inhell processors are secure!

That may be a bit excessive. Since the Spectre and Meltdown side-channel processor vulnerabilities were disclosed earlier this year – affecting AMD, ARM, Intel and others – Intel has made a concerted effort to pay more attention to security or at least to talk about it more.

In other words, it's a bit excessive.

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On the third day of Windows Microsoft gave to me: A file-munching run of DELTREE

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Paris Hilton

Re: This is affecting the enthusiasts ...

Maybe they are windows actvists, rather than enthusiasts?

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Hunt for Planet X finds yet another planetoid, just not the right one

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Re: Doing my head in.

Because every little bit helps.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

Re: That's what it means.

> Where would we be without you?

1 AU from the Sun?

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Day two – and Windows 10 October 2018 Update trips over Intel audio

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Pint

"Professional IT in 2018"

"Nobody can't into anymore and Linus has retreated into a safe space."

"More on this sorry story after ... this message...."

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Want some of that sweet government contract money? Obama's CIO gives tips to land deals with Uncle Sam

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Re: FireEye

> I think the criteria may now have changed,

Do you REALLY, deep down, think anything has changed since the heady days of of, I dunno, 2000?

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The meaning of "sociopath"

Meanwhile, FireEye honcho Kevin Mandia made his case for why companies should pick FireEye for their threat intel needs: Mainly, it's because the company is staffed by confirmed workaholics who don't know the meaning of the phrase "off the clock".

In other words, youngster "burn-them-down-suicide-is-not-my-problem" employees who are still ok with that shit but whose skills are low and not improving as time for mentoring is just nonexistent.

Been there, seen that.

Not even once.

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Databricks pushes machine learning on easy mode: Rock star data scientist, meet sweaty engineer

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Le sigh

But the whole point of the work is to get the enterprise consistently and effectively deploying machine learning, so is the messaging working?

Don't deploy a tool without know what it is good for.

As in every endeavour of statistical processing:

1) WHAT ARE THE QUESTIONS YOU ARE ASKING?

2) HOW DO ASCERTAIN THAT THE ANSWER IS CORRECT OR AT LEAST REASONABLE?

3) DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH OF WHAT IT TAKES TO RUN EXPERIMENTS AND TEST HYPOTHESES?

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JAXA probe's lucky MASCOT plonks down on space rock Ryugu without a hitch

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Re: Raumfahrt?

Perry Rhodan farts in your general direction.

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I like BigGANs but their pics do lie, you other AIs can't deny

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Only lefties actually believed Pepe was a right-wing mascot.

And then it became one.

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Re: Is it just regurgitating the training dataset?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DeepDream

Stuff's amazing. Like having a artsy psychotic person drawing in the ward.

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Boffin: Dump hardware number generators for encryption and instead look within

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Re: Just tested it

Yeah and then the CPU optimizer kills your loop dead because it just doesn't do anything, does it.

(This comment will not set in the El Reg moderation queue for 20h)

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

This is not an arithmetical method. It gets "time" information from an outside oracle.

Arithmetical method == Deterministic RNG.

Now, let's think what the compiler or even the instruction-optimizing CPU will do with this weird workless inner loop.

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Windows 10 passes 700 million, Office Mobile in a coma and Intune, er, cracks time travel

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Re: Numbers

> requiring proprietary ActiveX extensions for Internet Explorer.

Don't awaken the beast who sleeps in strange aeons.

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One Project to rule them all: Microsoft plots end to Project Online while nervous Server looks on

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After Major Major Major...

We now have Project Project Project.

Why can't Microsoft into names that are actually names?

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Fortnite 'fesses up: New female character's jiggly bits 'unintended' and 'embarrassing'

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Facebook: Up to 90 million addicts' accounts slurped by hackers, no thanks to crappy code

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Re: Facebook @ Work

As Mr. White says in Reservoir Dogs:

"A lot"

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Destroy All Monsters
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"used Facebook to authenticate the hacked users... oops!"

No I finally know what "use Facebook to login" is good for.

Absolutely nothing.

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