* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

15519 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Astro-boffinry world rocked to its very core: Shock as Andromeda found to be not much bigger than Milky Way

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: We're absolutely right. Until we're wrong.

I wonder how much scoffing of the calculations for Andromeda's size is already happening, and how many are trying desperately to refute the proof?

Proofs exist only in completely made-up structures like mathematics and IT.

The world: not a video game where you can just query the mass of your opponent.

0
0

If you don't like what IBM is pitching, blame Watson: It's generating sales 'solutions' now

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: It can't be worse than

The usual sad story of company skill loss, company tradition loss, and nonfunctional dirty-but-quick "green" teams, then?

You know what happened to Aperture Science, now.

5
0

Hua-no-wei! NSA, FBI, CIA bosses put Chinese mobe makers on blast

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

Blah Blah Blah, Muh Values, Blah!

Of course the biggest info hooverer, a country that Is "El", isn't even being mentioned, at least officially. Of course it's being talked about but only when the door has been firmly shut.

And they have fat fingers up many companies' and representatives infrastructure and sphincters.

5
1

Crypto-gurus: Which idiots told the FBI that Feds-only backdoors in encryption are possible?

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

In a german accent: "You wanted a miracle. I give you Eff. Bee. Eye."

"He asked Wray to produce a list of the eggheads the FBI was talking to about designing such a system"

Agent Keystone and Special Agent Keystone, I presume?

10
0

Who wants dynamic dancing animations and code in their emails? Everyone! says Google

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Yet ANOTHER reason!

HTML is just HTML.

It's a page description language.

Now, embedded Javascript, you don't want for sure.

Just use a minimal HTML viewer that hasn't been written by bling addicts and that checks conformance of the input to standards. Because Langsec, you know.

13
3

UK Home Sec Amber Rudd unveils extremism blocking tool

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Big Brother

Why do ControllerPeople™ always look half-decayed and suffering?

A vision of the future:

Amber Rudd's face beaming from large Telescreens all over London with the text "Amber Alert!" in scrolling letters underneath as Immigrant/Muslim/Pakistani/Nigerian/Whatever mobs protected by Antifa goons ransack shops and burn down cars as Whitey cowers in fear in his bathub in darkened bathrooms while being scolded by The Press in 20-page editorials for his white supremacism, vigilantism and deplorable Anglo-Saxonism by writers bearing frankly $ethnic names while only Asians armed with shotguns and baseball bats defend their families and livelihoods. As the Commitee against Anti-Semitism delivers the latest on the increasing HateThreat one can, by resolutely drilling down into the newstream, find out that Israel is ripping apart Syria, Lebanon and Jordan for incorporation into a Largish Chosen Land. At the same time limited nuclear war is being fought over Ukraine's right to be the Latest Democracy run by NonDemocrats and it's all Putin's fault. All of this is being calmly observed via Augmented Reality by smirking Oligarchs tended by Tensorflow Robobutlers as they take a morning dump into solid gold seats.

3
0

Wanna gobble Google's custom chips? Now you can – its Cloud TPUs at $6.50 an hour

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

"the advertising giant's internal deep-earning research team"

It's like a Mars Bar deliciously melting in boiling money?

(Okay Google, so how do I train the network to drive a Japanese-Scientists-designed sexbot that looks like a well-endowed 16-year old in a school uniform?)

2
0

5G won't just be fast, it'll do the ML-fuelled self-optimisation thing

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Machine Learning!

Is there anything it cannot do? Make sure your data is Clean In The Warehouse℠ and apply Dr. Trendy Z. Fuggtutti's Patent Machine Learning Rectifying Precompiler to your data streams! Also comes in wax form for the pointy hairs!

(Overuse of Machine Learning may expose you to technical debt and other hazards)

0
0

The Register Lecture: AI turning on us? Let's talk existential risk

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Looks at watch

I think it's way too early to talk existential risks from robots. We don't even have a Philip-K-Dickian underground "Autofac" self-repairing and spitting out new robots per fas et nefas, even after nuclear exchanges, limited or otherwise.

Let's talk Europe being unable to handle refugees. And war.

1
0

Talk down to Siri like she's a mere servant – your safety demands it

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: That story about the 83-year-old

And if not, was that a DeepFaked voice?

The old woman hung up, but the phone rang again, and the policeman said she could speak to her grandson: he came on the line, pleading with his grandmother for bail money.

Please El Reg don't pull such stupid stunts.

Also reminds me of a Greg Egan story where an extortionist builds a full simulation-AI of someone's wife in software. While the real wife is not in danger, will the husband pay up to have the simulation-AI, girevously suffering, shut down?

3
0

Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face)

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

I know this is complete clickbait but..

.... why is El Reg using a pink coffee mug pic from Shutterstock with the face of Nancy Pelosi forming in the broth?

Also "Should Have Used Go".

Well no. Though a nice language, go is not a step up and it's not about the language anyway as "EE" refers to "Enterprisy" libraries, add-ons, principles, application servers and large books "fleshing out" the Java Standard Edition. I'm partial to Spring Framework myself btw.

Does such a thing even exist in Go?

5
0

NSA code backported, crims cuffed, leaky AWS S3 buckets, and more

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Crime and unniceness: Totally mainstream

But why are Shutterstock images so bad?

0
0

Why aren't you being arbiters of truth? MPs scream at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Big Brother

"Social media titans take heat over kremlebots and fake news"

This bullshit is going to run and run.

Also, Trump has Russian Ties, the US is totally legally in Syria, in order to impose regime-changing zones, Ukraine is dying for democracy and it's only a matter of time before the budget is balanced.

7
2

Apple's top-secret iBoot firmware source code spills onto GitHub for some insane reason

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Linux

Nobody cares.

"this document is the property of Apple Inc."

My Preciousssss!

(Also completely worthless unless you have the Apple Hardware underneath)

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: For now, don't panic.

Explain or step out of the airlock.

0
1

Winter is coming for AI. Fortunately, non-sci-fi definitions are actually doing worthwhile stuff

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

A downwards-shifted Bell Curve is fact, better deal with it.

AI potentially being unintentionally discriminatory by design.

Reality is Racist, especially if unconvered by non-affirmatively-actioned statistics.

Will "open" be a way forward? Can anyone understand what a neural network does?

5
1
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Welp!

See you at RuleML+RR 2018, then!

1
0

What did we say about Tesla's self-driving tech? SpaceX Roadster skips Mars, steers to asteroids

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Big Brother

"It was kind of silly and fun, but silly things are important"

Ah, the advantages of not having to do tech in massive "state industries" where everyone needs to cover his/her arse, all the time, because humorless bureaucrats fighting the wrong kind of publicity and vote-chasing parliamentarians ready to whip up outrage WILL ruin your day stalinistically

30
1

Can't wait to get to Mars on a SpaceX ship? It's a cold, dead rock – boffins

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Start of a retraction

monetary potential

Economic potential.

Central banks have "monetary potential".

1
0

MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Kudos on the headline

But I still don't have a wheel spacestation and an Orbital Hilton Hotel. With Russians waiting in the lobby.

12
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Awesome.

I blew coffee all over the keyboard at that synchrolanding.

Then it became hilarious when they had to quickly bring in the fixer guy who could, at the same time, walk, chew gum and generate a zesty announcement that lawyers cannot glom onto when it became clear that the core was gone and the two designated announcers were about to mismanage the situation.

8
0

The many-faced god of operational excellence, DevOps and now 'site reliability engineering'

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Gimp

What in Tarnation?

Quick, a BOFSecDevOpsH adaptation

0
0

Women beat men to jobs due to guys' bad social skills. Whoa – you mad, fellas? Maybe these eggheads have a point...

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

Related: Microaggressions in Job Ads

http://jobs.ieee.org/jobs/content/Certain-Wording-in-Job-Advertisements-May-Keep-Wom-2018-01-26

According to the findings, female job seekers weren’t generally likely to apply for jobs where advertisements mentioned personality requirements in a trait-like way versus a task-directed way. For instance, women felt that sentences such as "You are calm/not nervous" were less encouraging than the task-directed "You always remain calm under pressure" — the distinction being that the former statement dealt in common female stereotypes.

"Job-seeking women might fear that they too will be judged stereotypically if they apply," explains researcher Lien Wille. "This underlines that the way job ads are written may have a discriminatory effect even when there is no discriminatory intent."

They might! Ah ... ladies, so emotional ... wait! It's practically as if someone is actually trying to reinforce stereotypes in a particularly underhanded way?

The study is published in the research journal "Sex Roles."

I'm subscribed to a few of those.

deplorable.jpg

2
9
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
FAIL

Yet more contentless studies by academic hot air balloons?

The paper took as granted "that women have a comparative advantage at tasks that involve 'brains' as opposed to 'brawn,'" with the authors citing various academic papers to that effect.

What does that even mean?

The real world shows that engineering and abstract thinking is an occupation best left to the male brain. Other "brain-involving" occupations may show balanced or reversed ratios, it completely depends. I don't know how LGBTUIOP brains would work, and I don't particulary care.

As for brawn - yeah, the real world also shows things about that, in spite of gurrrll power propagandists telling whoever is ready to listen that women are excellent for firefighting, policing in diverse neighborhoods or military frontline duty (the last one is utterly retarded in more ways in one; also - want children? stay out of toxic industrial environments, lady!)

9
17

Cops find ATM spewing cash, car with dodgy plates, stack of $20 bills and hacking kit inside

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Where are the USB ports?

Or can you load a chip card into them with a special "upload this!" chip on it?

Also

> all that ingenuity and lust for free money

> not becoming bankers

2
0

Insurance companies now telling you what tech to buy with um-missable price signals

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

Good!

This is exactly how it should work.

Let the moans begin.

They will be completely at odds with the usual cries of "hit the security-unaware ones in the wallet", some people just want to live in a quantum superposition dreamland.

7
0

Russian-monitoring Shetlands radar station was nearly sold off

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Megaphone

BY GOLLY!

That Putler chap is a right PITA.

Gentlemen, we must sink the Bismarkoff! The Prime Minister demands it!

2
0

Accused Brit hacker Lauri Love will NOT be extradited to America

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Stoë Orkeo!

Why does Lori look like someone out of a Moebius comic strip on that photo?

0
0

Exoplanets from another galaxy spotted – take that, Kepler fatigue!

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Incoming pendant

> the observable universe is 93 billion light years across

That's the unobservable universe, actually.

7
3

Epic spacewalk, epic FAIL: Cosmonauts point new antenna in the wrong direction

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

the cosmonauts gave it a shove in the direction of Earth, in the expectation it will burn up in the planet's atmosphere

Actually they throw if antispinwards of the ISS, which is sane:

"East (spinward) takes you out, out takes you west, west (antispinward) takes you in, in takes you east, port and starboard bring you back."

I don't know whether that little push was enough to make the package drop sufficiently low. Maybe one should have crossbow catapults.

15
1

Nunes FBI memo: Yep, it's every bit as terrible as you imagined

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Opinion poll proxy vote!

I don't see what role FDR plays in this discussion?

18
2

You can find me in da club, database full of faces… but this ain't privacy watchers' jam

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Could be used to check those migrants

Who claim to be under 18 but suspiciously look like 30 or so.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

1
0

No Windows 10, no Office 2019, says Microsoft

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Facepalm

The pace of change accelerates => the fourth derivative of the state is positive

“As the pace of change accelerates, it has become imperative to move our software to a more modern cadence.”

It's like we are really in a monetary bubble and the consumer is being hunted like fox by a pack of dogs who want to "accelerate" his cadence.

Is there no "barf" icon? Oh well.

17
4

Supermassive black holes scoff just one star per year, say space weight watchers

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

That's weird

It is not likely that a dwarf galaxy brings a supermassive black hole to the table. But the Andromeda doesn't look like the result of a larg-ish merger. It is not elliptical, has not whispy hang-ons or stuff in ex-centric orbits.

1
0

EU hitches its cart to the blockchain bandwagon

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

"Governance"

When you hear that, you know that someone wants to be high up the ladder, walk around like Louis XIV (maybe without the body odour) take decisions without accountability - while the salary and the perks are all top notch.

1
0

What a Hancock-up: MP's social network app is a privacy disaster

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: I guess he gets points for trying?

Not try. Do. There is no try.

No points.

10
1

New click-to-hack tool: One script to exploit them all and in the darkness TCP bind them

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: "Just because you can do something etc"

Actually, intuitionistic/constructivist logic should be used instead.

"Is it secure?" will be left unanswered until a concrete exploit is on the table, upon which the answer becomes "no".

10
0

Unsanitary Firefox gets fix for critical HTML-handling hijack flaw

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

"Such changes would inoculate Firefox 60 against a similar bug in future."

Or maybe not.

It all sounds like there is some kernel of permanent openness to Internet AIDS in there somewhere.

It could have to do with downloading and executing Turing-complete languages and/or unconstrained input to be parsed by Turing-complete languages from the Interwoops,

I dunno.

1
1

Kremlin social media trolls aren't actually that influential, study finds

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Being on Twitter and Facebook means you are mentally deficient in the first place. So a belief in "Russian Trolls" is probably par for the course.

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Oh no

Yes. This study wants to weaken the people living under Free Liberty by putting in doubt the immense influence of Russian Trolls. Where is Louise Mensch when you need a sane voice of stability?

This is apposite: William Buckley on the movie "The Day After"

2
1

FYI: That Hawaii missile alert was no UI blunder. Someone really thought the islands were toast

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?"

"The same we are doing every month, Twinkie. Send out a 'test' alarm!"

ARF!

Better get ready!

3
0

Intel alerted Chinese cloud giants 'before US govt' about CPU bugs

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

The last 4 days ruined EVERYTHING! We HAD IT! I SWAEER!!

Those memos remind me of the times I had to find plausible-sounding waffle sprinkled with technowords to cover "other motives" and various pants-around-ankles in order to explain that what happened was ENTIRELY OUT OF OUR HANDS.

It worked, too.

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Thanks Intel

Intel is NOT a US company, it is a world company.

Complete bullshit with a side order of more bullshit.

2
1

UK's iconic Jodrell Bank Observatory nominated as World Heritage Site

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Doesn't that mean the crap dish can't be replaced by new gear?

Preservation of steam locomotives and like things is fun and rewarding, but I would rather have top gear getting new data on the grave of the venerable dish instead of mouldy reliquia.

6
7

All your base are belong to us: Strava exercise app maps military sites, reveals where spies jog

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Probably Dabbsy. He has to get rid of the anger.

12
0

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Tokyo crypto-cash exchange 'hacked' for half a billion bucks

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Pint

Re: So who...

I haven't watched this one yet, have a comment on Ponzi schemes from you-know-who:

(Won't link as El Reg will again deep-six me, the inner party dislikes crimethink)

An almost-forgotten incident in American economic history was the pyramid scheme that swept Southern California during the stagflation of May 1980. Yet, now that we know that about 2/3rds of the Housing Bubble of 2000-2007 took place just in California, it’s worth reviewing incidents from California’s long history of financial manias.

...

Back in Gov. Jerry Brown’s California, “pyramid power” was a popular New Age concept. (Although there’s never anything new about New Age in California — the lovely coastal mountain village of Ojai has been a New Age center since the 1800s.) In 1977 I went to a fashionable Westwood hair styling salon where for a few bucks extra you could get your hair cut in a special chair under a pyramid dangling from the ceiling. The pyramidal aura was supposed to help you avoid Bad Hair Days or something. (I declined. But, now that I think about it, I did have a lot of BHDs …)

In May 1980, a vast multi-level cash exchange craze developed in California that explicitly invoked the mystique of pyramids. Every night there were hundreds of house parties hosted by people who had gotten in earlier on this multi-level scam (perhaps the night before). My vague recollection from newspaper reports is that you’d go over to a higher-up’s house and sit with him under his pyramid while you gave him cash in return for your very own kit for building a pyramid out of wire and fabric. The Ancient Egyptian emanations from his pyramid would ensure that you’d get even more cash back from the suckers you’d recruit to buy your pyramid kits from you while sitting under your pyramid.

Perhaps I don’t have the details right, but pyramid imagery was central to the experience, which made this Pyramid Power pyramid scheme hard to debunk. It was already pre-debunked. Anti-fraud authorities would go on the local TV news to denounce the pyramid schemes as “pyramid schemes,” which just served as good advertising. “Well, duh, of course it’s a pyramid scheme,” participants would laugh. “How do you think those Egyptian pharaohs got so rich that they could afford those giant pyramids? Through tapping the secret energy of Pyramid Power!”

1
0

GOLD! Always believe in your role. You've got the power to know you're indestructible...

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Space work

Yes, ESA's software developement is in need of shedding a lot of fat. They confuse tightly controlled and documented-up-the-arse in umpteen tedious management meetings code with working code.

0
0

Google can't innovate anymore, exiting programmer laments

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Evil Empire

Yes, but it's also religious. So you can't bring it down, really.

1
0

FYI: Processor bugs are everywhere – just ask Intel and AMD

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
WTF?

Insane!

reduced design validation efforts

Why? Are these people utterly retarded? Does their risk analysis say that it is cheaper to give the customer a good one up the prostate from time to time rather than make sure the chip passes tests?

There is more computing power than ever to formally check the design, either statistically or else using formal methods. I suppose whatever stuff drops off the university conveyor belt is no longer as performant as it used to be.

3
3

Trebles all round! Intel celebrates record sales of insecure processors

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Not really with you on this one

We simply have had a bonus performance boost by coding operating systems badly for a long time.

It's like reading a steampunk technology newsletter. None of this makes much sense and there also seems to be confusion between Meltdown and Spectre. What the hell??

1
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018