* Posts by A. Coatsworth

343 posts • joined 29 May 2008

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Jimbo announces Team Wikipedia: 'Global News Police'

A. Coatsworth
Trollface

Re: Anything with r-types running/advising it is a potential hazard.

Yeah, I hate r-types too. Bloody chavs who drag race their tuned Honda Civics in the streets late at night when I am try to sleep.

E-type kind of sounds like a Jaguar, but K-type? any help there?

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MEYER! SUES! YAHOO!

A. Coatsworth
Happy

click bait well done

To put it in internet slang, "I LOL'd" at the pic's caption.

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BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

You know how in movies they can get with graphically killing hundreds of persons, but hurting a dog is a very delicate matter that usually they can't even show it?

It seems to be the same here... I never minded the line of dispatched bosses, the contractors, the it managers that ended up rolled in a carpet... but I *genuinely* felt bad for poor ol' James while reading this.

Perhaps it hit too close to home, reminding me of the bygone days where I went starry-eyed into my first job, ready to fix the world.

To paraphrase Iron Maiden, I'm sure James is now a sad and wiser man

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Trump's America looks like a lousy launchpad, so can you dig Darwin?

A. Coatsworth

Re: Why not Equador

I think Ecuador, and other "sane" Latin American countries near the equator (Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia...) are not such good options, being way too active geologically. Not sure what a 6+ earthquake, or a shower of volcanic ash can do to a rocket, but it can't be good.

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Spammy Google Home spouts audio ads without warning – now throw yours in the trash

A. Coatsworth
Gimp

Re: A company

>>If it's Google, you are the product.

And you're paying them $129 for the privilege.

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Repentant priest from Cuntis sorry he dressed as Hugh Hefner

A. Coatsworth
Go

And the weirdness of the actual note is *nothing* compared to the commentards throwing limericks about it. Absolutely fabulantastic!

(never was a description as appropriate as the tooltip of this icon) ---->

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The future of storage is ATOMIC: IBM boffins stash 1 bit on 1 atom

A. Coatsworth
Joke

"... read by tunnel magnetoresistance, measuring a current passing through the atom using the quantum mechanical spin resonance effect with a single iron atom used as a sensor"

Yeeeah... I know Scotty used that explanation at some point or other. It didn't sound believable back then, either.

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Kaspersky launches a range of perfumes to, er, defend your odour

A. Coatsworth

"Phish" what a great name for a perfume...

Feel confident every day, smelling of Phish in the office! Let your Phishy musk lead others to you!

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Iconic Land Rover Defender may make a comeback by 2019

A. Coatsworth
Stop

"JLR would design the new Defender"

Are they go to employ the same fsckwits who disgraced the Discovery and Range Rover lines by making them look like the aberration that is the Evoke?

If so, it would be better to leave the Defender go in peace to tread mud in the Darién Gap of our memories, instead of defacing its legacy.

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It's time for our annual checkup on the circus that is the Internet Governance Forum

A. Coatsworth
Flame

Circus?

I think the proper term you're looking for starts with "cluster" and rhymes with "duck"

I can't spell it here thanks to my computer's naughty-filters

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YouTube TV will be huge. Apple must respond

A. Coatsworth

So, where is the huge [1] benefit of this? They have the same tired old channels one can get anywhere, unlimited storage (yeah right! we all know what "unlimited" means for cloud providers), and...?

No killer app at all... If I am already forking cash for Netflix or cable, or both, I see no reason to switch to them. Pretending that they'll be able to capitalize the vast number of freeloaders they have is disingenuous, the same article mentions Youtube Red as a failed example.

This sound like yet another "brilliant" Google's idea that will be silently killed a few years down the line.

[1] that damned adjective is tainted. I can't read it without hearing the Orange One screaming "YUUUUUUGE!" in my head

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Fireball in Tasmania: Possible CubeSat re-entry sparks alien panic

A. Coatsworth
Alien

So "cubesats" is the new "weather balloons"? They are testing if the new excuse is believable in remote regions, before deploying it for the masses. Expect to see this explanation more and more in the future!

*Cue X-Files theme*

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Polls? How very 2016. Now Google Street View AI scanner can predict how people will vote

A. Coatsworth

Re: Fundamental misunderstanding

Will it really go out of date?

The current data was used to build the algorithm, but if the demographics change in the future, well, that's why the machine is learning patterns and not addresses, right?

I mean, if in the future it sees a cluster of beaten-up pickups it will guess Republican, even if the image comes from Silicon Valley.

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Radioactive leak riddle: Now Team America sniffs Europe's skies for iodine isotope source

A. Coatsworth

Re: dumb arse Euroflags

I don't know if radiation can give people superpowers, but it sure seems to wake up the trolls!

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More brilliant Internet of Things gadgetry: A £1,300 mousetrap

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Re: 'provide the best solution to the customer as well'

Of course it is the best for the customers. their customers *have to* be fools. And it is demonstrated that fools can't be trusted with money.

So, this company is in the business of parting fools from their money before they do anything with it. Looks ok to me.

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Dead cockroaches make excellent magnets – now what are we supposed to do with this info?

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Re: A pedant writes

I once watched a documentary where giant, fire-breathing ants roamed the Post-Apocalyptic land, preying on the ragged remains of mankind.

The giant, radioactive cockroaches that also existed there were nothing in comparison.

Wait... it wasn't a documentary, was it?

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Revealed: 'Suicide bomber Barbie' and other TSA quack science that cost $1.5 billion

A. Coatsworth

Re: Simple fix - don't visit the US

I *really* wanted to go to the US in August, to watch the solar eclipse... but I'm not subjecting myself to the ignominy that is their visa-application process (I live in Latin America). And I definitely won't risk the change of getting to know a TSA agent intimately while in the airport.

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Cassini sends back best ring-shots yet en route to self-destruct dive

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Obligatory "damn you!" for referencing *that* sad XKCD comic

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Batman v Superman leads Razzie nominations

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Damn right, Colabroad!

No disrespect for the late mr. Ledger, but IMHO the Animated Series' Joker is THE definitive one!

Joker Alert! ----------->

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A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Re: Not LaLa Land?

There's a reason why the term "Oscar bait" exists.

A musical about how beautiful people fulfills their stardom dreams in the amazing LA? that movie was not produced, it was *engineered* to give Hollywood fuzzy tingly feelings down there. Of course it would be nominated. Hollywood is not just out of touch, it is a whole alternate dimension.

I'd love it if the Razzies were to "denounce" this kind of movies, but for them it's easier to pick on blockbusters

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One BEEELLION dollars: Apple sues Qualcomm, one of its chip designers

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Apple denounces use of patents as a blunt weapon...

... claims to have patented that idea itself.

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My hole is a private thing – see for yourself

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

*Quickly goes to DuckDuckGo*

*Discovers the National Pothole Day IS a real thing*

God bless the British Isles! Form the point of view of a New-World foreigner, it sometimes looks like the most whimsical stories that come from there (from Mary Poppins to Paddington Bear) are actually documentaries.

No offense meant: I really admire the fuzzy image of the UK we get in the rest of the world (and that may or may not match with the reality)

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Nintendo pulls the Switch, fires Joy-con at Microsoft and Sony

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

There wasn't much info on hardware or capabilities during the presentation yesterday... so how does it compare to XB1 and PS4?

I've sadly kind of living under a rock lately so I honestly don't know if the technical details of the Switch are already available...

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Drone company fails to take off, tells pre-orderers: You can have your $34m back

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

If it's the year stupidly overhyped tech dies, I'm all for it.

Next in line: IoT *.*

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US Navy runs into snags with aircraft carrier's electric plane-slingshot

A. Coatsworth

Re: EMALS

There are times when Hanlon's razor just doesn't cut it [1] and I think anything that has to do with pork barrel apply. There is just so much money to be made (or lost) selling F35s that it is impossible to believe nobody noticed the contract didn't cover fitting catapults.

Any project where BAE is involved should be considered preemptively as fraudulent

[1]Cut it! the razor cuts it! geddit? ... I'm... I'm sorry for that.

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TCL vows to keep BlackBerry alive

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

What's in a name?

Designed and built by some Chinese manufacturer, using an OS created by Big Brother itself (with some alleged "hardening" provided by the manufacturer)... Will slapping the name "Blackberry' at the back of the handset deliver us from evil?

Much like the new so-called "Nokias", I have zero confidence in these zombified BBs

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A. Coatsworth

My thoughts exactly... I'm not sure what will be needed to consider Android secure, but it will have to be a HUGE change.

And, after the news of spyware being loaded into the phones of big-name Chinese manufacturers, who in his right mind would trust any of them?

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Apple's Airpod wireless earbuds finally go on sale after six-week delay

A. Coatsworth
Gimp

Re: iPhone 7 users still tied to audio dongles

They *ARE* the first bluetooth headphones ever!

Apple in its infinite wisdom has innovated once again, giving us this truly magic gift of future tech.

If you think you have seen similar technology better implemented years and years ago, well, those are just decoys the Turtle-necked One in the Sky put in the world to test the faith of the true believers and to confound the infidels.

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Earth days are getting longer – by 1.8 milliseconds per century

A. Coatsworth
Joke

"before the advent of telescopic observation and atomic time around 1620"

Damn, was Galileo ahead of his time!

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Bloke sold cash register code to restaurants that deliberately hid sales from taxmen

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Re: the various tax boards WILL check up...

I can't fathom under what tortured, Bizarro-world logic, can a minimum wage law and a barebones social security initiative be a bad thing.

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HMS Queen Lizzie to carry American jets and sail in support of US foreign policy

A. Coatsworth

At least the ship will take part of an exercise that actually benefits other countries and not another anti terrrrist operation in the Middle East ... China's appropriation of the South China Sea being a problem for just about *everybody* who trades with that region.

Even so, it is just sad that UK's military muscle is being held hostage by BAe & cronies.

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Nokia restores ‘Phones’

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: Nokia releasing phones again?

It is a shame that -it seems- they will not only be generic Foxconn landfill, but will also be blessed with Google's crud on top... and just adorned with a shiny Nokia badge.

How do I wish to be wrong, but I'm not holding my breath.

In the meantime, I'm sure my Nokia 700 will keep going till the heat-death of the universe

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ExoMars probe snaps photos of your next dystopian home world when Earth goes to crap

A. Coatsworth
Alien

Re: Dr John Brandenburg on Mars Nuclear Weapons

Not sure L Ron Hubbard's opus count as evidence. And in any case you'd have the wrong planet.

That or Xenu was even *more* busy than we have been led to think.

1
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Confirmation of who constitutes average whisky consumer helps resolve dispute

A. Coatsworth
Windows

Re: Blended

I won't doubt the word of fellow commentards, that blended whisky is probably very good and all, but... "Monkey Shoulder"? Really?

That name sounds like it was taken from a "hip" microbrewery. Seriously, those stupid "trendy" names for beers get on my nerves. They make me want to punch a mustached hipster in the balls.

Now get off my lawn!

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NASA sets fire to stuff in SPAAACE. On purpose. Because science

A. Coatsworth
Flame

For some reason I read that title in the voice of GlaDOS. Not that I'm complaining, that was hilarious.

... On the subject of the article, life probably won't get better than being a rocket scientist who is allowed to play with matches.

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Samsung flames out as Chinese march on

A. Coatsworth
Flame

pic.twitter.com

Would it be too much inconvenience actually embedding the images in the article instead of linking to the twitter post? you know, given that El Reg is who posted the picture in the first place and not a third party.

For the sake of those of us who can't access twitter due to corporate policy (and those of us that wouldn't access it anyway in our personal equipment)

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LinkedIn officially KickedOut of Russia

A. Coatsworth
Meh

When Putin goverment...

actually has the moral high ground, you know things are really fscked up.

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Here's how the missile-free Royal Navy can sink enemy ships after 2018

A. Coatsworth
Holmes

Re: Is it just me, or...

The huge res version of this pic in Wikipedia (2709 x 1806) clearly shows that yes, they're using modern helmets and masks, and that they wear white gloves with dark palms which make their thumbs look huge.

Wikipedia also duly informs me that plane NF389 is being currently restored for the Historic Flight. That would suppose a 50% increase in striking power for Gareth's idea in a few months. Beat *THAT*, Lockheed!

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

It's only fair that an aircraft carrier with no aircraft is defended by frigates with no defences.

Luckily the HMS Victoria is technically still in commission... I think it is the heaviest hitter in RN at the moment.

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Silicon Valley's oligarchs got a punch in the head – and that's actually good thing

A. Coatsworth
WTF?

Re: Question?

Very good question... the system has been honed thru the decades to make it impossible for a third party to prosper.

Although I personally doubt a system where the candidate with the most votes can actually *lose* the election, can be called "democracy" with a straight face.

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Unstoppable Huawei draws level with Apple

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

>>>"It used to focus on price-to-performance ratio," Canalys' Ben Stanton points out. "This was a good disruptive strategy at the time

So, now selling an average product at a not-so-bad price is *disruptive* strategy? Glad Huawei has such marketing mavens, no one short of a genius could have thought of that!

Whoever uses that word in public should be dragged out and shot.

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Twitter trolls are destroying democracy, warn eggheads

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Re: Penny dreadfuls taken to higher levels plumbing new depths vs. Global Operating Devices

>>>New originating scripts empowering new worlds are needed to succeed fabulously in the spaces

I don't think the world is ready yet for the first GLBT astronaut president.

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FBI's Clinton email comedown confirms it could have killed the story in a canter

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Exactly what I was thinking. All normal corporate laptops I've ever seen (Lenovo or HP running Win Vista, 7, 8) utterly choke when the email folder hits the 7000 messages mark. How a 10-year-old laptop could manage to work with over half a million emails in, is anybody's guess

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New MH370 handshake and wing debris analysis suggests rapid descent

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: Conspiracy ..

If it wasn't for the fact that 240 persons are missing, and almost certainly dead, conspiracy theories (not only about the plane, but in general) make a very entertaining read.

In particular the theory that the plane was hijacked by Russians and stored in the Baikonur Cosmodrome is an awesome piece of fantasy writing.

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MacBook headphone hell

A. Coatsworth
Gimp

>>>The new one is all about form, forgetting the function

I thought that was Apple's *whole* shtick, ever since St. Jobs' Second Coming (TM)

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Google man drags Emacs into the 1990s

A. Coatsworth
Joke

The Ribbon always felt like it was made by someone with a medieval understanding of computers anyway.

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A. Coatsworth
FAIL

Going on a tangent

A Google employee makes an interesting hack and posts it... in Facebook.

Did Plus really die *that* hard?

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F-35 'sovereign data gateway' will stop US reading pilots' personal data? Yeah right

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Re: Someone's been reading too many LM press releases on sales "successes"

"cheaper solution required", "air defence role", "replacing the existing planes ASAP"

... So, Super Hornets for the gentleman in table 1, it is!

As usual, Canada sounds like a more sensible country than most

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Possible reprieve for the venerable A-10 Warthog

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder

I have always liked the A10 - A lot. It was not built to be Hollywood-pretty. It was built to do a job, and do it damn well. In that regard it is an engineer's dream: all function over form, reliable, sturdy, adaptable.

Aaand... in my humble opinion it does look good. Much like the old Land Rover Series I - III, it has a ruggedness and simplicity, derived from their functional mindset, that makes them very likeable.

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Today is the 211th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar

A. Coatsworth
FAIL

Some kind soul would mind explaining the joke?

The FAIL is for me, obviously ------------------------------------------------>

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