* Posts by A. Coatsworth

439 posts • joined 29 May 2008

Page:

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

A. Coatsworth
Coat

I learned that CHR is "Charisma" in Fallout.

It is a videogame, you see? so unlike the dorks who play D&D, I'm a cool kid...

... or so says my mum.

Happy Christmas! Bloodhound SSC refuelled by Yorkshire business chap

A. Coatsworth
Pint

No plans will be shared until next year

of course not! I hope the whole team will start a bender today and won't stop partying until New Year at the earliest.

The eulogising of The Mother Of All Demos at 50 is Silicon Valley going goo-goo for gurus again

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Silicon Valley is much more Gwyneth Paltrow than it is Ayn Rand

Can I have that etched on a baseball bat, to whack in the head those fools who jump into every new Silly-con Valley hype train?

Britain approved £2.5m of snooping kit exports to thoroughly snuggly regime in Saudi Arabia

A. Coatsworth
Boffin

>>Such equipment has obvious uses in a tightly-controlled country ruled by theocrats.

Shirley, Iran is ruled by theocrats? I thought Arabia is your garden variety dynastic dictatorship...

Funnily enough, China fuming, senator cheering after Huawei CFO cuffed by Canadian cops at Uncle Sam's request

A. Coatsworth

Re: Is it just me

Two wrongs don't make a right, but that's exactly what I thought when I read this: it is infuriating to hear the Chinese government using the human rights card.

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

A. Coatsworth
Flame

Re: Not just US ...

It is the "American Beer Syndrome"

Of course there are good beers in the US, but you'd never know it if you only taste the popular brands commonly available.

Same with bacon. You don't need to go full homemade like Jake here (although it does sound cool), but it is necessary to look a bit harder beyond the all-you-can-eat buffet trays to find the good stuff...

Baroness Trumpington, former Bletchley Park clerk, dies aged 96

A. Coatsworth

Yes, but if she hadn't smoked so much, she'd be at least 100 by now!

Sorry, bad joke... nothing but my respect to the Baroness. It seems she really spent her time in this Earth well.

Uber fined £385k by ICO for THAT hack of 57m customers' deets

A. Coatsworth

Re: £385k? Do you have change for this £1m note we found down the back of the sofa?

Enron... That's actually a very nice comparison, looking back at how it all ended.

Will history repeat itself? Stay tuned...

Facebook spooked after MPs seize documents for privacy breach probe

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Re: Not Government

Important difference in deed, thanks for the clarification!

I can barely grasp how my country's government works, so understanding the nuances of the organization of UK is way beyond my depth.

At any rate, the point is that it is refreshing seeing *action* against FB, and action that comes fro mthe highest level possible.

A. Coatsworth

GLad to see the UK government is taking decisive action on this issue. By ignoring the Parliament's summons, Zuckerberg was disrespecting not only the UK, but all the people everywhere who was had their data willing or unwillingly sucked in by FB.

I sincerely hope this ends as badly as possible for the Zuck and everyone else involved

In Space, Still: 20 years since Russia hurled first bit of floating astronaut hostel into orbit

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: Sic transit gloria mundi

A couple decades later the last remains of know-how to send a human in space will have been lost, and space will just be a commercial battlefield for clouds of cheap throw-away satellites offering increasingly pointless services.

As usual, a painfully relevant XKCD: xkcd.com/893

Is Google's Pixel getting better, or just more expensive?

A. Coatsworth

Re: RE: Topperfalkon

>>"required more reboots" - ?? You have to reboot your phone? What's all that about?

I reboot my Nokia 6 about once a month, because it downloads a big fat security and/or OS update about once a month, and has been doing so almost without fail for a year now.

I can't say I complain about that!

Oracle sued by app sales rep: I made tens of millions for Larry, then fired for being neither young nor male – claim

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Re: We only have her word for it

>>just another Reg wannabe tabloid journo with an agenda?

Wow, boltar, thanks a lot for opening my eyes to the insidious anti-Orcale, pro-women (*shudder*) conspiracy that is going on in the underbelly of The Register.

I'll cancel my subscription and demand a refund forthwith!

Big Falcon Namechange for Musk's rocket: BFR becomes Starship

A. Coatsworth
Paris Hilton

out of topic question

This question will undoubtly attract downvotes, but what the hell..

What's with the solitary downvote to almost every single post in this conversation? Did the Church of Jobs repurpose itself as the Righteous Musketeers?

This revolution will not be televised – but it will be sanctioned: Googlers walk out over 'sex pest' executive scandals

A. Coatsworth
Big Brother

Re: Pot, kettle

At first, it struck me as your common, garden-variety hypocrisy... But after reading the comments about "Googly" and other cult-like tactics, it may very well be that they are actually brainwashed and left unable to grasp the insulting irony of the situation.

Science: Broke brats glued to the web while silk-stocking scions have better things to do

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Re: Buzzwords...@A-nonCoward

>>What have we got, for already way too long? Rap. Techno is not it, sorry. Rap. Nothing worse has >>replaced it.

You clearly haven't been in contact with the absolute hellspawn that is reggaeton. This abortion of music was let loose onto the world some time after year 2000, and have been riding strong ever since

30 years ago, NASA put Challenger behind it and sent a Space Shuttle back out into the black

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Re: What a machine.

37 years after first launched, 8 years after its last flight, the Shuttle is still a shorthand for "future technology". The impact it made in the public conscience can't be overstated.

Even now commercials that try to sell anything advanced or technological (from razors to phone plans) feature the red and white behemoth, riding on a cloud of smoke.

Undoubtedly, one of the greatest machines ever built

Android Phones are 10: For once, Google won fair and square

A. Coatsworth

Re: Sure Android is 90% of the market..

Don't think Google has a problem with that: manufacturers receive the flak from punters and foot the losses, Google reaps the profits from the store and all the slurped data. That's a business model I'd like for myself.

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

A. Coatsworth
Windows

"I can't turn on the lights because the internet thinghy is not working"

Aint the future great?

GG n00b lol! Amazon frags support for its own games controllers

A. Coatsworth

Re: Shouldn’t affect anyone here.

>> Real adults don’t play computer games. Fact.

Damn right! real adults are too broke to buy *computer* games... a Master Race rig is way too expensive! So they stick to one-gen-behind cheaper consoles.... at least is what I do.

For my part, I'll continue exploring the Mojave waste in New Vegas, thank you very much

How an augmented reality tourist guide tried to break my balls

A. Coatsworth
Paris Hilton

Dead trees never failed anyone

It will be a cold day in hell before I trust solely on an app coded for peanuts (probably by monkeys) for my transportation or lodging needs in a foreign country. It is preferably to carry the equivalent of half an Amazonian forest in printouts.

It is very telling of the state of the industry that people who works on IT are the first to doubt the technological capabilities of... well, anything. I wonder if aeronautic engineers travel everywhere by horse because they don't trust planes....

Post-silly season blues leave me bereft of autonomous robot limbs

A. Coatsworth

It is an universal truth that, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, no matter how awesome you think you are, you end up looking like the Dork King of Uncoolness the moment you set a foot on a Segway.

Roskosmos admits that Soyuz 'meteorite' hole had more earthly origins

A. Coatsworth
Happy

These are clearly speedholes. They make the craft go faster (probably to its doom, but still, faster)

Net neutrality haters spam Californians with annoying robocalls

A. Coatsworth
Happy

Re: Shocked! Shocked, I say!! NOT!!!

I have a bigger problem with this paragraph:

In fact the Civil Justice Association of California is the big catch-all lobbying organization in California for every American mega-corporation you've heard of: Eli Lilly, ExxonMobil, Ford, Koch Companies, GlaxoSmithKline, Shell, State Farm and so on

As someone who lives in the left hand side of the Pond, but waaaay south of the border, I have NEVER heard about several of these megacorps. Hopefully, my life will continue as usual if I don't even take the time to DDG Eli Lilly or Koch.

That's not to say I don't care about the whole net neutrality brouhaha... far from it

Surprise! VAT, customs likely to get a bit trickier in a Brexit no-deal world

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Re: Na na na na na na na VAT man!

@Paul J Turner

Was going to upvote you, but you have exactly 16 votes now. So have one of these instead

Techie's test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site

A. Coatsworth
Joke

So... were there any other sites hosted in the same server?

The title mentions a "top tech news site" that went down, but the article text only mentions El Reg, so I think something is missing.

Google Spectre whizz kicked out of Caesars, blocked from DEF CON over hack 'attack' tweet

A. Coatsworth

Re: The right thing to do

It is not simply that they are swatting flies with a bazooka.

It is that this whole exercise was useless. We know it, they know it, and Mr. Lindon knows it, but organizations are desperate to look like they are doing something, while in reality helping nothing to eradicate the real terrorism/insecurity problem.

It is a highly visible move that allows them to say "we take the security of our guest very seriously", but is it conductive in any way to actually make Las Vegas, or USA or the world any safer? of course not.

It is the same train of thought that leads corporations to fire people because of a stupid joke they did years ago as if that helps to fight the rampant sexism and abuse in the industries.

These actions are hateful because they are nothing but PR at the cost of a person that everybody knows is innocent. If (or $Deity forbids, when) the next attack occurs, this stupidity will help nothing to prevent it.

Funnily enough, no, infosec bods aren't mad keen on W. Virginia's vote-by-phone-app plan

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Re: NO

Your vote for "YES" has been recorded and will be counted towards the total.

Thank you for using Mobile Voting.

We hope to see you again soon.

Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

A. Coatsworth
Trollface

A Mexican comedian had a great sketch about this.. He would "invade" random tv shows to stop them from doing any advertisements. In one memorable scene, the actors were driving around in an Volkswagen Beetle. He covered the VW logo with masking tape and flew away, his work done.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like my IoT-enabled vacuum cleaner is spying on me

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Super User rights... SD Cards... Vacuums

Why does this exist? In the name of everything that is holy, WHY?!

Please, stop the World, I *need* to get out

Wearable hybrids prove the bloated smartwatch is one of Silly Valley's biggest mistakes

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Re: Shopping lists?

I usually check the fridge and the kitchen to see what I need to buy, and write it down in a list so I don't forget. I go to the supermarket and promptly discover I forgot to bring the damned list with me, so I have to buy from memory.

Once I come back home, I check the list (which has been waiting for me in the kitchen counter he whole time) only to find out how many important items I forgot to buy, and how much unneeded crap I did buy.

A couple of weeks later, I repeat the whole process

Dudes. Blockchain. In a phone. It's gonna smash the 'commoditization of humanity' or something

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

*Reads the title*

Hopes go thorugh the roof: "Is Steve Bong back at El Reg??"

*Reads actual article*

Damn, Reality is much, much stupider than fiction

At last – a use for AI! Predicting an England World Cup victory

A. Coatsworth
Terminator

Re: Who should you trust, AI or a goat?

I come from the future to tell you that England won 2 - 0, so AI is more trustworthy than a goat.

I know, I know... the news has completely surprised me too!

Dear Samsung mobe owners: It may leak your private pics to randoms

A. Coatsworth
Black Helicopters

Re: Sounds like sabotage to me

It happened to Google StreetView vans... that one time they spontaneously grew the ability to sniff and record WIFI traffic.

It can happen t o anyone

Automated payment machines do NOT work the same all over the world – as I found out

A. Coatsworth

Re: English?

@Dr_N

Nope... my French doesn't work for much more than "Ye ne pagh-lé pa Francé"

A. Coatsworth
Happy

Re: English?

Being neither, but having learned American English, I have been usually for an American tourist more than once in Europe. It is really interesting how the people's attitude changes when I'm done explaining where the little backwater country I'm from is actually located .

In France (or more specifically in Paris) it seems it is better to try and communicate in Spanish rather than English, even if the interlocutor speaks neither... that way I have sidestepped their proverbial disdain of tourists.

A slick phone Linux for your pocket PDA? Ooh, don't mind if I do, sir

A. Coatsworth

I'd love to go full circle and install Sailfish in my new "Nokia" 6. It would be almost poetic.

But I'm not brave enough to even find out if it is feasible at the time

USB-C for Surface owners arrives in form of a massive dongle

A. Coatsworth

NASA eggheads draw up blueprints for spotting, surviving asteroid hits

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: UN oversight?

Yeah, the UN will prove once more how useful it is... when the UN Space Protection Council (SPOC?) rules something that a member doesn't like, that member won't be able to simply walk away, because the UN resolutions are so binding and it has so much muscle to make the countries comply.

It is not like it just happened with... with... no, I can't recall a super power leaving a UN organization in the last weeks, with the organization being worse than useless to stop it

Woman sues NASA for ownership of vial of space dust

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Don't do that!

Moon dust is awfully carcinogen... great for all sorts of mad science, but carcinogen nonetheless... Ask Cave Johnson!

First A380 flown in anger to be broken up for parts

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

That phrase left me scratching my head. How can a single-decker plane match the capacity of a double decker?

The only options would be doubling its length, which would be extremely funny to see; or doubling the passenger density, which is extremely worrying because it sounds like something the airlines would actually consider!

Thanks for the clarification

Every bloody gadget in the house is ringing. Thanks, EE

A. Coatsworth
FAIL

any internet device with audio in and audio out will work, such as a TV

This is the reason why we can't have nice things...

Yahoo! Kills! The! Messenger!

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Re: Contact me on Oath Squirrel

Interestingly, CIA passed most of the research data to MOSSAD, who went on with the program. They wisely decided to replace squirrels with lizards, which adapt better to the Iran weather.

Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Damn you, sitta_europea, that is too cool!

Have one on me

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

You British built some crazy and beautiful (and crazy-beautiful) planes back in the day.

Sadly, I can't recall seeing a Lighting when I had the chance to visit the RAF museum near London, but standing under the shade of a Vulcan was definitely a highlight of my vacations!

At last: Magic Leap reveals its revolutionary techno-goggles – but wait, there's a catch

A. Coatsworth
FAIL

Re: Theranos

When you can get US$700 million in fools' investors' money, and be valued at 9 BEEELION without producing anything but hot air... well, I damn well understand how people can be so ready to drink their own Kool-Aid.

Not that I justify their actions, but the market of venture capitalist *dying* to shove their money into any hare-brained half-idea they find is just too tempting

Mailshot meltdown as Wessex Water gets sweary about a poor chap called Tom

A. Coatsworth
Coat

Re: Acronym?

It is an acronym, all right:

Tom Wysocki is A T.W.A.T.[1]

[1]Tom Wysocki is A T.W.A.T.[1]

[1][1]Tom Wysocki is A T.W.A.T.[1]

[1][1][1]Tom Wysocki is A T.W.A.T.[1]]

...

...

Where the hell is my exit clause?

(with apologies to mr. Wysocki. I'm sure he's an good bloke)

Uber 'does not exist any more' says Turkish president

A. Coatsworth
Pirate

Re: It's hard to know who to sympathise with...

>>it's more the trying to overcharge and unnecessarily complex and long diversions that I dislike.

THIS is what has allowed Uber et all to thrive, more than the cost of the fare. Taxi drivers all over the world have deservedly got a reputation of being con artist and using every trick imaginable to overcharge the passenger.

As a tourist (I travelled over Europe a few years ago) I was sternly warned to never ever take a cab in Paris or Rome, the reasons being very similar to what's being said about Istanbul drivers up here. But people is more confident that they can call an Uber in these cities and everything will be ok.

In my country licensed taxi drivers have started to clean up their act: cleaner cars, new hailing apps, friendlier drivers. Of course they managed to go over all 5 stages of grief in full force before they accepted the fact that they were at least as guilty of this situation as the less-than-legal Uber antics.

(Please don't think I defend Uber. I don't, the management is despicable and their business model is fundamentally rotten. But I do think they are not the only ones to blame.)

Meet the real spin doctors: Scientists tell H2O to chill out so they can separate isomers

A. Coatsworth
Trollface

Re: That photo ...

You'll find out humans are most definitely needed to come up with the kind of puns used by El Reg. At least until we have IA able to get utterly sh*tfaced (a requisite in order to come up with them)

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

A. Coatsworth

Re: A bit of a tumble

That phrase always reminds me of The IT Crowd, and make me smile. Although that was probably the idea

And now I'm humming the emergency number song...

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