* Posts by A. Coatsworth

322 posts • joined 29 May 2008

Page:

My hole is a private thing – see for yourself

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

*Quickly goes to DuckDuckGo*

*Discovers the National Pothole Day IS a real thing*

God bless the British Isles! Form the point of view of a New-World foreigner, it sometimes looks like the most whimsical stories that come from there (from Mary Poppins to Paddington Bear) are actually documentaries.

No offense meant: I really admire the fuzzy image of the UK we get in the rest of the world (and that may or may not match with the reality)

6
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Nintendo pulls the Switch, fires Joy-con at Microsoft and Sony

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

There wasn't much info on hardware or capabilities during the presentation yesterday... so how does it compare to XB1 and PS4?

I've sadly kind of living under a rock lately so I honestly don't know if the technical details of the Switch are already available...

1
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Drone company fails to take off, tells pre-orderers: You can have your $34m back

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

If it's the year stupidly overhyped tech dies, I'm all for it.

Next in line: IoT *.*

10
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US Navy runs into snags with aircraft carrier's electric plane-slingshot

A. Coatsworth

Re: EMALS

There are times when Hanlon's razor just doesn't cut it [1] and I think anything that has to do with pork barrel apply. There is just so much money to be made (or lost) selling F35s that it is impossible to believe nobody noticed the contract didn't cover fitting catapults.

Any project where BAE is involved should be considered preemptively as fraudulent

[1]Cut it! the razor cuts it! geddit? ... I'm... I'm sorry for that.

3
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TCL vows to keep BlackBerry alive

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

What's in a name?

Designed and built by some Chinese manufacturer, using an OS created by Big Brother itself (with some alleged "hardening" provided by the manufacturer)... Will slapping the name "Blackberry' at the back of the handset deliver us from evil?

Much like the new so-called "Nokias", I have zero confidence in these zombified BBs

1
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A. Coatsworth

My thoughts exactly... I'm not sure what will be needed to consider Android secure, but it will have to be a HUGE change.

And, after the news of spyware being loaded into the phones of big-name Chinese manufacturers, who in his right mind would trust any of them?

3
1

Apple's Airpod wireless earbuds finally go on sale after six-week delay

A. Coatsworth
Gimp

Re: iPhone 7 users still tied to audio dongles

They *ARE* the first bluetooth headphones ever!

Apple in its infinite wisdom has innovated once again, giving us this truly magic gift of future tech.

If you think you have seen similar technology better implemented years and years ago, well, those are just decoys the Turtle-necked One in the Sky put in the world to test the faith of the true believers and to confound the infidels.

0
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Earth days are getting longer – by 1.8 milliseconds per century

A. Coatsworth
Joke

"before the advent of telescopic observation and atomic time around 1620"

Damn, was Galileo ahead of his time!

3
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Bloke sold cash register code to restaurants that deliberately hid sales from taxmen

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Re: the various tax boards WILL check up...

I can't fathom under what tortured, Bizarro-world logic, can a minimum wage law and a barebones social security initiative be a bad thing.

1
1

HMS Queen Lizzie to carry American jets and sail in support of US foreign policy

A. Coatsworth

At least the ship will take part of an exercise that actually benefits other countries and not another anti terrrrist operation in the Middle East ... China's appropriation of the South China Sea being a problem for just about *everybody* who trades with that region.

Even so, it is just sad that UK's military muscle is being held hostage by BAe & cronies.

7
2

Nokia restores ‘Phones’

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: Nokia releasing phones again?

It is a shame that -it seems- they will not only be generic Foxconn landfill, but will also be blessed with Google's crud on top... and just adorned with a shiny Nokia badge.

How do I wish to be wrong, but I'm not holding my breath.

In the meantime, I'm sure my Nokia 700 will keep going till the heat-death of the universe

2
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ExoMars probe snaps photos of your next dystopian home world when Earth goes to crap

A. Coatsworth
Alien

Re: Dr John Brandenburg on Mars Nuclear Weapons

Not sure L Ron Hubbard's opus count as evidence. And in any case you'd have the wrong planet.

That or Xenu was even *more* busy than we have been led to think.

1
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Confirmation of who constitutes average whisky consumer helps resolve dispute

A. Coatsworth
Windows

Re: Blended

I won't doubt the word of fellow commentards, that blended whisky is probably very good and all, but... "Monkey Shoulder"? Really?

That name sounds like it was taken from a "hip" microbrewery. Seriously, those stupid "trendy" names for beers get on my nerves. They make me want to punch a mustached hipster in the balls.

Now get off my lawn!

3
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NASA sets fire to stuff in SPAAACE. On purpose. Because science

A. Coatsworth
Flame

For some reason I read that title in the voice of GlaDOS. Not that I'm complaining, that was hilarious.

... On the subject of the article, life probably won't get better than being a rocket scientist who is allowed to play with matches.

3
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Samsung flames out as Chinese march on

A. Coatsworth
Flame

pic.twitter.com

Would it be too much inconvenience actually embedding the images in the article instead of linking to the twitter post? you know, given that El Reg is who posted the picture in the first place and not a third party.

For the sake of those of us who can't access twitter due to corporate policy (and those of us that wouldn't access it anyway in our personal equipment)

5
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LinkedIn officially KickedOut of Russia

A. Coatsworth
Meh

When Putin goverment...

actually has the moral high ground, you know things are really fscked up.

9
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Here's how the missile-free Royal Navy can sink enemy ships after 2018

A. Coatsworth
Holmes

Re: Is it just me, or...

The huge res version of this pic in Wikipedia (2709 x 1806) clearly shows that yes, they're using modern helmets and masks, and that they wear white gloves with dark palms which make their thumbs look huge.

Wikipedia also duly informs me that plane NF389 is being currently restored for the Historic Flight. That would suppose a 50% increase in striking power for Gareth's idea in a few months. Beat *THAT*, Lockheed!

6
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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

It's only fair that an aircraft carrier with no aircraft is defended by frigates with no defences.

Luckily the HMS Victoria is technically still in commission... I think it is the heaviest hitter in RN at the moment.

10
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Silicon Valley's oligarchs got a punch in the head – and that's actually good thing

A. Coatsworth
WTF?

Re: Question?

Very good question... the system has been honed thru the decades to make it impossible for a third party to prosper.

Although I personally doubt a system where the candidate with the most votes can actually *lose* the election, can be called "democracy" with a straight face.

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Unstoppable Huawei draws level with Apple

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

>>>"It used to focus on price-to-performance ratio," Canalys' Ben Stanton points out. "This was a good disruptive strategy at the time

So, now selling an average product at a not-so-bad price is *disruptive* strategy? Glad Huawei has such marketing mavens, no one short of a genius could have thought of that!

Whoever uses that word in public should be dragged out and shot.

1
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Twitter trolls are destroying democracy, warn eggheads

A. Coatsworth
Joke

Re: Penny dreadfuls taken to higher levels plumbing new depths vs. Global Operating Devices

>>>New originating scripts empowering new worlds are needed to succeed fabulously in the spaces

I don't think the world is ready yet for the first GLBT astronaut president.

0
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FBI's Clinton email comedown confirms it could have killed the story in a canter

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Exactly what I was thinking. All normal corporate laptops I've ever seen (Lenovo or HP running Win Vista, 7, 8) utterly choke when the email folder hits the 7000 messages mark. How a 10-year-old laptop could manage to work with over half a million emails in, is anybody's guess

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New MH370 handshake and wing debris analysis suggests rapid descent

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: Conspiracy ..

If it wasn't for the fact that 240 persons are missing, and almost certainly dead, conspiracy theories (not only about the plane, but in general) make a very entertaining read.

In particular the theory that the plane was hijacked by Russians and stored in the Baikonur Cosmodrome is an awesome piece of fantasy writing.

1
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MacBook headphone hell

A. Coatsworth
Gimp

>>>The new one is all about form, forgetting the function

I thought that was Apple's *whole* shtick, ever since St. Jobs' Second Coming (TM)

1
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Google man drags Emacs into the 1990s

A. Coatsworth
Joke

The Ribbon always felt like it was made by someone with a medieval understanding of computers anyway.

3
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A. Coatsworth
FAIL

Going on a tangent

A Google employee makes an interesting hack and posts it... in Facebook.

Did Plus really die *that* hard?

8
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F-35 'sovereign data gateway' will stop US reading pilots' personal data? Yeah right

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Re: Someone's been reading too many LM press releases on sales "successes"

"cheaper solution required", "air defence role", "replacing the existing planes ASAP"

... So, Super Hornets for the gentleman in table 1, it is!

As usual, Canada sounds like a more sensible country than most

6
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Possible reprieve for the venerable A-10 Warthog

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder

I have always liked the A10 - A lot. It was not built to be Hollywood-pretty. It was built to do a job, and do it damn well. In that regard it is an engineer's dream: all function over form, reliable, sturdy, adaptable.

Aaand... in my humble opinion it does look good. Much like the old Land Rover Series I - III, it has a ruggedness and simplicity, derived from their functional mindset, that makes them very likeable.

9
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Today is the 211th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar

A. Coatsworth
FAIL

Some kind soul would mind explaining the joke?

The FAIL is for me, obviously ------------------------------------------------>

0
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A. Coatsworth
Joke

Re: Deja Vu

And that's how I ended up reading the full Wikipedia article about the Battle of Tsushima, and now am looking for the movie about the battle, starring Toshiro Mifune...

Thanks a lot, anonymous coward, for a lost workday!

8
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A robot kitchen? Whatever. Are you stupid enough to fall for this?

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Damned dyslexia

Looking at the title, I was actually willing to part with some cash in exchange for a "robot chicken"

When I read the note in detail was sorely disappointed.

0
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Cheer up Samsung! You might get back $400m for copying the iPhone

A. Coatsworth
Meh

Re: Samdung deserves to pay the fullest amount

Samdung

good like Google and Microsoft!

That's *got* to be sarcasm!.. Please tell me I didn't fall prey of Poe's law

4
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The wait is over: MoD releases latest issue of Ship Paint Monthly

A. Coatsworth
Coat

No news if Nelson Chequer will be back for this winter season?

That's not just a coat, it's a fashion statement!

0
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It's Pablo Pic-arsehole: Turner Prize wannabe hits rock bottom

A. Coatsworth

Re: Aeroplane

Never mind!

A half scale Vulcan should be the winner *every* year.

2
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Brain plague or estate agents? I know which I'd prefer in Virtual Reality

A. Coatsworth

apps (... ) from (...) CNN, Hulu and Netflix.

The real world in the virtual world. Or the virtual world is the real world.

The whole thing reeks of Second Life... and I for one wouldn't mind if it crashes and burns the same way.

VR obviously has its applications, and there will be niches where it actually can be a game changer, but all this overhype, this painting it as the next greatest technological revolution, gets really tiresome.

3
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Nork server blunder leaks Kim Jong Un's entire DNS – all, er, 28 .kp domains

A. Coatsworth
Joke

it is not so bad

Last time I heard of something like that, the guy was sentenced to death by firing squad, but he got better in time for the next Party assembly!

1
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HP Inc's rinky-dink ink stink: Unofficial cartridges, official refills spurned by printer DRM

A. Coatsworth

Re: Are the complainers...

I don't usually shill for any company but...

Try Epson ecotank printers. These ones have huge external ink tanks that are refilled indepently, while the printing head is safely inside.

I don't even know if the refill bottles are cheap or not, because the one at home has been happily churning prints for over a year with the original load

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Fanbois iVaporate: Smallest Apple iPhone queues ever

A. Coatsworth
Trollface

I'll have to side with cali on this one: Early this year you promised us that you would focus on boring, by the numbers journalism like the one we could read literally anywhere else on the internet.

Sadly that ended being an empty promise, and instead El Reg is still full of funny shenanigans, out-of-the-box articles, absurd bootnotes, and name calling. It is like The Register would want to bite the hand that feeds it!

And so, poor souls like cali must endure this kind of articles, must keep visiting the site to read the infuriating notes, must create and maintain an account in order to complain about all these problems!

This is an utterly unacceptable situation!

6
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The next Bond – Basildon or Bass-Ass? YOU decide

A. Coatsworth
Happy

Dabbsy it is

He has already shown he can handle double entendres better than Moore and Brosnan put together.

Even so, the best suggestion n the original note didn't make it to the poll: filling up the Bond franchise with The IT Crowd's... ermm... crowd.

1
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Watch SpaceX's rocket dramatically detonate, destroying a $200m Facebook satellite

A. Coatsworth
Alien

First the attack on Sentinel A1 and now this... I suggest summoning Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum at once, just in case.

I'm not saying it was aliens, but...

3
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New booze guidelines: We'd rather you didn't enjoy yourselves

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Re: life is risky

Life is a terminal disease. The survival rate is 0.

I'd rather go through this Valley of Tears with a beer in hand than without it.

15
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Idiot flies drone alongside Flybe jet landing at Newquay Airport

A. Coatsworth
IT Angle

Malware alert?

are this page -and this site- safe?

Thanks to the [insert expletive here] logic of TI where I work, I can only use Internet Exploder to browse the net, so I am in a constant state of panic.

Should I run away from El Reg forever?

0
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15 million tech-fried Brits have tried giving themselves a 'digital detox'

A. Coatsworth
Coat

Re: Outdoor photography!

But... if you went outside to take pictures, and didn't immediately posted them in facebook.... did you really take them?

5
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Jovian moon Io loses its atmosphere every day

A. Coatsworth

Re: err, subs...

And in any case, it doesn't *lose* the atmosphere, does it?... it is still there, just in solid form, once the eclipse ends, the frozen SO2 becomes, erm... atmosphere-y again

2
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Samsung Note 7: Probably the best phone in the world. Yeah – you heard right

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Probably the best (...) in the world

As in "Carlsberg"?

Going by that advertisement, I'll pass, thanks.

0
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World religions stake out positions on Pokemon Go

A. Coatsworth
Flame

Re: Holy Ghost

There is but one God... and its name is Arceus.

2
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Pokemon Go oh no no no, we're not reading your email, says gamemaker

A. Coatsworth
FAIL

Your horoscope for today.

Aries: If you dare enjoying videogames, bad things are gonna happen to you in every aspect of your life. Stay at home, be bitter and yell kids to be off your law. Avoiding fun will make you live longer. Your lucky numbers are...

1
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'Leave EU means...' WHAT?! Britons ask Google after results declared

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Question

According to the BBC: "the UK will not leave immediately. The UK is still a member of the EU and will probably remain so for several years"

What prevents the UK to hold this very same referendum again in a year or so? (when the kids that narrowly lost the chance to vote are of legal age)

I ask because, In the wake of this decision, the idea of a new referendum for Scottish independence is being mused again or so I read in the BBC. I don't get how many "tries" are allowed...

Honest question, basically El Reg and the BBC are my only sources of knowledge about the UK. I am looking at the game from way out.

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I want to learn about gamification but all I see is same-ification

A. Coatsworth
Coat

Ask Eadon.

He won so hard he was whisked away to a different plane.

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Germany: If Brits vote to Remain, we'll admit Hurst's 1966 goal was a goal

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Re: And here's me...

Came to say *exactly* that

Have an upvote und ein Bier instead

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