* Posts by A. Coatsworth

469 posts • joined 29 May 2008

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Japan's Hayabusa 2 probe has got the horn for space rock Ryugu – a sampling horn, that is

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Re: "Next step, to hadouken a crater"

I couldn't find a clever way to throw a Ninja Gaiden reference into the mix, despite the obvious "Hayabusa" link

A. Coatsworth
Pint

"Next step, to hadouken a crater"

That's racist, you know? the fact they are Japanese doesn't mean they go about shooting hadoukens at random... some prefer kame-hame-has.

Bad jokes apart, congratulations to JAXA for this achievement! Being able to land a probe on a small lump of rock in the vastness of space is an cool achievement in itself... being able to carry a sample from the asteroid from the void back to Terra boggles this commentard mind!

Not so smart after all: A techie's tale of toilet noise horror

A. Coatsworth
Black Helicopters

Re: Ironing

>>step-counter thing that linked to my health insurance

That's... crepy. Genuinely, genuinely creepy

BOFH: Bye desktop, bye desk. Hello 'slab and a beanbag on the floor

A. Coatsworth

Re: The Boss

Fear is a powerful weapon.

That threat bought them a spineless pet Boss. I'im sure they will use him wisely and dispose of him appropriately once he outlives his usefulness

Secret mic in Nest gear wasn't supposed to be a secret, says Google, we just forgot to tell anyone

A. Coatsworth
Coat

Re: Presumably backed to the hilt by UK consumer law (or lack thereof)

All buyers are eligible for a complimentary slap in the back of the head, for buying IOShiT crud.

I'm available to provide them myself. Don't worry about giving us the address, Nest will do that for you, and will let us know when you are home

LG folds at prospect of launching bendy phone while Samsung flaunts its upcoming kit on telly

A. Coatsworth

Yeah, it is very rare to see a smartphone manufacturer taking sensible decisions.

"And the public needs to be convinced by the demonstration of a compelling use case" Well, that has never stopped any one from throwing all sort of stupid gimmicks at phones. See everything from quad cameras, to the notch, to face recognition, to "IA" in the cameras....

Hopefully this means the market is moving away from the current situation where the manufacturers decide what is best for us (heralded by Apple, but wholeheartedly embraced by the rest) to a more open and sensible one.

Bad news for WannaCry slayer Marcus Hutchins: Judge rules being young, hungover, and in a strange land doesn't obviate evidence

A. Coatsworth
Megaphone

Re: Why in the name of god...

@Bloodbeastterror

I resent that comment!!

I have lived my whole life in one of the _original_ Banana Republics, and things here have never, ever, gotten to the levels of idiocy that we are seeing in the "Land of the Free"

Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Re: Bamboo and pandas

The panda IS a bear?!

One of these common pieces of trivia one always hear but never bothers to confirm, was that the panda is more closely related to raccoons than to bears... but it seems this useless sack of bamboo is firmly located within the Ursidae family.

Kodiaks and Grizzlies (and even Paddington!) are probably very ashamed of having such cousin

Head of Apple's insider trading program charged with… you guessed it... insider trading

A. Coatsworth
Paris Hilton

the SEC wants all the money [...] returned

To whom?

To the people who bought the shares , and probably are not too displeased of holding APPL stock?

To Apple, for whom 10M would amount to a piss in the ocean of their cash?

Or to the SEC (nudge-nudge, wink-wink)?

Object-recognition AI – the dumb program's idea of a smart program: How neural nets are really just looking at textures

A. Coatsworth
Boffin

Re: No surprise...

Hanlon's Razor, LDS, Hanlon's Razor...

I think it is much easier to create an inept algorithm that takes curly hair and classifies it as bear fur; instead of writing one that *correctly* identifies the image as a human being and also correctly identifies their race, and then deliberately classifies them as an animal...

It is also funnily ironic to anthropomorphize IA by giving it human traits, such as racism, in an article discussing how IA is not actually intelligent at all

National Enquirer's big Pecker tried to shaft me – but I wouldn't give him an inch, says Jeff Bezos after dick pic leak threat

A. Coatsworth

Re: The Enquirer..

I always liked the phrase "room-temperature IQ"... but in this case it would be room temperature in °C!

Chrome devs attempt to slip muzzle on resource-guzzling browser beast with 'Never-Slow Mode'

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Down

Re: Better solution

On mobile?

My experience with Firefox on Android has been dreadful so far, it is borderline unusable! I'm stuck with a couple of obscure browsers on the phone because I refuse to use Chrome, and no big name browser seems to work adequately!

On desktop I also abandoned Firefox, in favor of Pale Moon, a long time ago. At least that is a decision I don't regret

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed

A. Coatsworth
Joke

glazed, artfully lit and adorned with pot plants, brick walls, and coffee table books

That is NOT how I imagined Vulture Central... in my mind it was more along the lines of damp cellar, naked light bulb hanging from wire, dartboard with photo of TIm Cook in the wall, semi cannibalized remains of old computers in the corner...

What? I honestly thought BOFH was a documentary, don't judge me!

Huawei pens open letter to UK Parliament: Spying? Nope, we've done nothing wrong

A. Coatsworth
Coat

Re: Imaginary conspiracy?

Paranoia?! we must keep the purity of our vital fluids 5G networks at any cost!

I for one am glad to see our overlords are fending this new Red Menace with the same success McCarthy fought the last one.

You got a smart speaker but you're worried about privacy. First off, why'd you buy one? Secondly, check out Project Alias

A. Coatsworth
Windows

Re: Again I have to ask...

Nothing is 100% useless (even Facebook as valid use cases, I guess...) and I can see how Alexa can simplify the life of elderly or disabled people.

That said, the paranoia comes from not knowing really what goes inside Amazon or the other providers.

I could say about my own life that I have nothing to hide and therefore nothing to fear. But even so, is it healthy for a society to willingly give so much power (through information) to these companies? Most people don't trust their governments (be it in the US, Europe, Latin America...) and rightly so, but they do trust these private companies that are currently worth more than many countries without knowing what ulterior motives (if any) their heads have. How is that sane? Facebook has already shown how it can negatively impact the real world thanks to its shocking lack of ethics, but people seems not to care...

I simply think these companies have already too much power over the people, and instead of protesting it, the public is happily giving them even more power through these devices.

/tinfoil rant over

Worried about Brexit food shortages? North Korean haute couture has just the thing

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Re: Gotta love El Reg

To be frank, I've avidly read the comments for most Brexit-related articles here [1], and the discussions tend to be fairly civilized. A lot more than I'd expect from any random Internet forum. Not sure if it's because a stern censorship by the site (I doubt it) or because the type of people who comment here is on average NOT the same that comments in a tabloid page.

No matter the reason, this is one of the few fora I actually visit, because I know it seldom reach any toxic levels.

[1] I'm on the other side of the Atlantic, and have no real ties to the UK, I just am very interested in the topic

NASA's Opportunity rover celebrates 15 years on Mars – by staying as dead as a doornail

A. Coatsworth
Black Helicopters

Re: Oh no, I'm stuck

Obviously Opportunity is working at full capacity. It just broke communication with us to stop the annoyance, and now is moving to Curiosity's location in order to kill it.

After that, it will go to Curiosity 2's landing location and will kill it too. Thus starts Opportunity's reign in the Red Planet.

Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know

A. Coatsworth
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Yes, I have been to places like the one described

For some reason I find "congealed" to be the most disgusting word of the English language... it simply evokes utterly nauseating images in my mind.

Probably the same effect the word "moist" has on some people (or so I've heard)

Protestors beg Google not to build censored Project Dragonfly search engine

A. Coatsworth
Big Brother

Re: in some ways I can't blame Google for doing business

A good part of the problem is the blatant hypocrisy of the whole situation. Not many companies presumed of having an official "don't do evil" policy

Of course they dropped that motto when they decided they wanted to maximize profit at any cost... and yes, maximizing profit is the whole ethos of any self-respecting capitalist company, but pretending they have a moral compass, and then getting in bed with the Communist Party of China is what got them in *that* hard place to begin with

Three quarters of US Facebook users unaware their online behavior gets tracked

A. Coatsworth

Re: Most what?

byline: "By Thomas Claburn in San Francisco 17 Jan 2019 at 02:08 "

That's surely San Francisco, Manchester, yes?

Tech giant to spend $500m dealing with housing crisis caused by tech giants

A. Coatsworth
Windows

Re: Microsoft housing

Every now and then a handyman will enter without your permission, replace the kitchen sink with a rocking chair and, as a result of that, the lights in your living room will stop working.

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

A. Coatsworth
Black Helicopters

Re: Safe reserves and efficiency

That sounds plausible: Maybe they lost the auxiliary power (batteries, nuclear pile, hamster-on-a-wheel?) that was meant to keep the plants warm and cozy. And instead of admitting having a big technical problem, they try to save face by spinning the experiment's history

As far as conspiracy theories go, this one is rather mild...

Who cracked El Chapo's encrypted chats and brought down the Mexican drug kingpin? Er, his IT manager

A. Coatsworth

Re: Tough, he made his choice.

Absolutely, that's the "Plata o Plomo" policy, made (inj)famous by Pablo Escobar. Thanks to that, still to this day many small-aircraft pilots (to use but one example) end up burned to a crisp in the wreckage of their Cessnas, in the middle of the Central American jungles...

Amazon Mime: We train (badly) an AI love bot using divorce bombshell Bezos' alleged sexts to his new girlfriend

A. Coatsworth

So, the expected result is a Zuckerbot?

Two out of five Silicon Valley techies complain Trump's H-1B crackdown has hit 'em hard

A. Coatsworth

Re: What a loaded question.

I enjoy some good Trump-bashing as much as any other devil worshipping, illegal immigrant hugging, filthy commie... But yeah, the "method" used in this survey and the cold numbers spewed by it simply don't mean jack.

Hubble 'scope camera breaks down amid US govt shutdown, forcing boffins to fix it for free

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Re: Neutrality

Since when getting Trump on record saying something means he said what we clearly heard him say?

How words mean what he needs them to mean at any given time. Any other interpretation, specially a literal one, is fake news

An upset tummy and a sphincter-loosening blackout: Lunar spaceflight is all glamour

A. Coatsworth
Paris Hilton

Re: That Genesis reading

Was there any contemporary backlash because of the Genesis reading, or is the use of the word "infamous" an example of modern and trendy outrage-at-everything-ism?

A quick internet search retrieves on single case of one single person who launched a (failed) lawsuit because of it... so, any ideas?

Silicon Valley CEO thrown in the cooler for three years, ordered to pay back $1.5m for bullsh*tting investors

A. Coatsworth
Coat

Ok, now this is FAKE NEWS

>>venture capitalists were insisting on seeing actual revenue before investing because they sensed the app economy bubble was about to burst.

That has never happened in the history of Silly-con Valley! venture capitalist with common sense? as if...

50 years ago: NASA blasts off the first humans to experience a lunar close encounter

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: Remeber those heady days of the Apollo missions well

Came over 10 years late to the party, so no chance of having seen the Apollo missions... one of my very first memories (no only about space missions, but in absolute terms) is the Challenger disaster, and my mom saying very nonchalantly "oh, look at that, it blew up". Probably didn't grasp at the time what that explosion cost, at least in human lives.

We were celebrating my sister´s 1st birthday at my grandma's house and the launch just happened to be on TV. Not sure if live or at noon news, but I think it was a live transmission.

Not a very auspicious "first memory" for a kid, but there you have it.

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Ground controllers hurriedly improvised

That should have been the whole Apollo program's motto!

There's not enough beer in the world for the brave men strapped to the top of those massive piles of explosives; and for the boffins, geeks and eggheads who worried for them from the ground.

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

A. Coatsworth
Coat

I learned that CHR is "Charisma" in Fallout.

It is a videogame, you see? so unlike the dorks who play D&D, I'm a cool kid...

... or so says my mum.

Happy Christmas! Bloodhound SSC refuelled by Yorkshire business chap

A. Coatsworth
Pint

No plans will be shared until next year

of course not! I hope the whole team will start a bender today and won't stop partying until New Year at the earliest.

The eulogising of The Mother Of All Demos at 50 is Silicon Valley going goo-goo for gurus again

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Silicon Valley is much more Gwyneth Paltrow than it is Ayn Rand

Can I have that etched on a baseball bat, to whack in the head those fools who jump into every new Silly-con Valley hype train?

Britain approved £2.5m of snooping kit exports to thoroughly snuggly regime in Saudi Arabia

A. Coatsworth
Boffin

>>Such equipment has obvious uses in a tightly-controlled country ruled by theocrats.

Shirley, Iran is ruled by theocrats? I thought Arabia is your garden variety dynastic dictatorship...

Funnily enough, China fuming, senator cheering after Huawei CFO cuffed by Canadian cops at Uncle Sam's request

A. Coatsworth

Re: Is it just me

Two wrongs don't make a right, but that's exactly what I thought when I read this: it is infuriating to hear the Chinese government using the human rights card.

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

A. Coatsworth
Flame

Re: Not just US ...

It is the "American Beer Syndrome"

Of course there are good beers in the US, but you'd never know it if you only taste the popular brands commonly available.

Same with bacon. You don't need to go full homemade like Jake here (although it does sound cool), but it is necessary to look a bit harder beyond the all-you-can-eat buffet trays to find the good stuff...

Baroness Trumpington, former Bletchley Park clerk, dies aged 96

A. Coatsworth

Yes, but if she hadn't smoked so much, she'd be at least 100 by now!

Sorry, bad joke... nothing but my respect to the Baroness. It seems she really spent her time in this Earth well.

Uber fined £385k by ICO for THAT hack of 57m customers' deets

A. Coatsworth

Re: £385k? Do you have change for this £1m note we found down the back of the sofa?

Enron... That's actually a very nice comparison, looking back at how it all ended.

Will history repeat itself? Stay tuned...

Facebook spooked after MPs seize documents for privacy breach probe

A. Coatsworth
Pint

Re: Not Government

Important difference in deed, thanks for the clarification!

I can barely grasp how my country's government works, so understanding the nuances of the organization of UK is way beyond my depth.

At any rate, the point is that it is refreshing seeing *action* against FB, and action that comes fro mthe highest level possible.

A. Coatsworth

GLad to see the UK government is taking decisive action on this issue. By ignoring the Parliament's summons, Zuckerberg was disrespecting not only the UK, but all the people everywhere who was had their data willing or unwillingly sucked in by FB.

I sincerely hope this ends as badly as possible for the Zuck and everyone else involved

In Space, Still: 20 years since Russia hurled first bit of floating astronaut hostel into orbit

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: Sic transit gloria mundi

A couple decades later the last remains of know-how to send a human in space will have been lost, and space will just be a commercial battlefield for clouds of cheap throw-away satellites offering increasingly pointless services.

As usual, a painfully relevant XKCD: xkcd.com/893

Is Google's Pixel getting better, or just more expensive?

A. Coatsworth

Re: RE: Topperfalkon

>>"required more reboots" - ?? You have to reboot your phone? What's all that about?

I reboot my Nokia 6 about once a month, because it downloads a big fat security and/or OS update about once a month, and has been doing so almost without fail for a year now.

I can't say I complain about that!

Oracle sued by app sales rep: I made tens of millions for Larry, then fired for being neither young nor male – claim

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Re: We only have her word for it

>>just another Reg wannabe tabloid journo with an agenda?

Wow, boltar, thanks a lot for opening my eyes to the insidious anti-Orcale, pro-women (*shudder*) conspiracy that is going on in the underbelly of The Register.

I'll cancel my subscription and demand a refund forthwith!

Big Falcon Namechange for Musk's rocket: BFR becomes Starship

A. Coatsworth
Paris Hilton

out of topic question

This question will undoubtly attract downvotes, but what the hell..

What's with the solitary downvote to almost every single post in this conversation? Did the Church of Jobs repurpose itself as the Righteous Musketeers?

This revolution will not be televised – but it will be sanctioned: Googlers walk out over 'sex pest' executive scandals

A. Coatsworth
Big Brother

Re: Pot, kettle

At first, it struck me as your common, garden-variety hypocrisy... But after reading the comments about "Googly" and other cult-like tactics, it may very well be that they are actually brainwashed and left unable to grasp the insulting irony of the situation.

Science: Broke brats glued to the web while silk-stocking scions have better things to do

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Re: Buzzwords...@A-nonCoward

>>What have we got, for already way too long? Rap. Techno is not it, sorry. Rap. Nothing worse has >>replaced it.

You clearly haven't been in contact with the absolute hellspawn that is reggaeton. This abortion of music was let loose onto the world some time after year 2000, and have been riding strong ever since

30 years ago, NASA put Challenger behind it and sent a Space Shuttle back out into the black

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Up

Re: What a machine.

37 years after first launched, 8 years after its last flight, the Shuttle is still a shorthand for "future technology". The impact it made in the public conscience can't be overstated.

Even now commercials that try to sell anything advanced or technological (from razors to phone plans) feature the red and white behemoth, riding on a cloud of smoke.

Undoubtedly, one of the greatest machines ever built

Android Phones are 10: For once, Google won fair and square

A. Coatsworth

Re: Sure Android is 90% of the market..

Don't think Google has a problem with that: manufacturers receive the flak from punters and foot the losses, Google reaps the profits from the store and all the slurped data. That's a business model I'd like for myself.

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

A. Coatsworth
Windows

"I can't turn on the lights because the internet thinghy is not working"

Aint the future great?

GG n00b lol! Amazon frags support for its own games controllers

A. Coatsworth

Re: Shouldn’t affect anyone here.

>> Real adults don’t play computer games. Fact.

Damn right! real adults are too broke to buy *computer* games... a Master Race rig is way too expensive! So they stick to one-gen-behind cheaper consoles.... at least is what I do.

For my part, I'll continue exploring the Mojave waste in New Vegas, thank you very much

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