* Posts by Doogie Howser MD

169 posts • joined 9 Jun 2008


Microsoft has speedy portable treats for locked-down princes and paupers alike with Surface Book 3 and Surface Go 2

Doogie Howser MD

Exchange Rate

Always good to see vendors go for the old 1:1 exchange rate. $399 == £399? I don't think so.

We know what you want to write: Google injects more AI into G Suite

Doogie Howser MD

C'mon Microsoft

This is your big chance to bring us a cloud enabled version of Clippy. This time with AI.

Three UK goes TITSUP*: Down and out for 10 hours and counting

Doogie Howser MD


One presumes turning it off and on again has not alleviated the problem.

Three customer having a quiet day on the work calls front ;-)

Tesco parking app hauled offline after exposing 10s of millions of Automatic Number Plate Recognition images

Doogie Howser MD

Missed Headline Opportunity?

"There is no data, there is only Vizuul"

Stallman's final interview as FSF president: Last week we quizzed him over Microsoft visit. Now he quits top roles amid rape remarks outcry

Doogie Howser MD

Re: A product of his time

Just glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. It's the Pareto Principle in action again, 80% of the horse shit these days is espoused by 20% of the people.

Jeff Bezos feels a tap on the shoulder. Ahem, Mr Amazon, care to explain how Capital One's AWS S3 buckets got hacked?

Doogie Howser MD

Another grandstanding politician

I've not much time for Bezos but even less for politicians trying to make headlines. For starters, if S3 buckets are the attack vector then firewalls have sod all to do with it, S3 buckets are internet facing by design. Secondly, the instructions are clear on good practice - private by default (which new ones are now anyway) and don't embed secret keys in human readable code.

The other aspect to this story is that from what I can gather, it was an inside job anyway. So regardless of whose computer it was, if you have the keys to the kingdom, you can do what you like.

Microsoft unzips Zipline, lets world+dog have a go with cloudy storage compression tech

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Pied?

Damn, beat me to it.

Is that rain or tears of frustration on your face? Google Cloud bursts, Console and Dataflow washed away for hours

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Curious...

Probably because there aren't that many folks on Google Cloud. If it was AWS or Azure, the lynch mob would be out already.

Fujitsu pitched stalker-y AI that can read your social media posts as solution to Irish border, apparently

Doogie Howser MD

They'll use a fleet of refurbished ED-209s, obviously.

Total Inability To Support User Phones: O2 fries, burning data for 32 million Brits

Doogie Howser MD
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Lyca Customers

Time your networked moved off O2 and merged with Virgin Mobile. Then we can finally have a network called LycaVirgin.

Oracle: Go on, sign off on our exec pay packets. We've changed!

Doogie Howser MD

On premise? On the premise of what?

London tipped to lead European data market. Yes, despite Brexit!

Doogie Howser MD

Re: London Ahead?

Let's be honest, it's all about the cash. Even if the UK leaves without a "favourable" deal (whatever that means), if UK tax laws get even more lax to encourage big business, that will be the deciding factor. How big are my bonuses?

x86 marks the spot: Dell reports upswing, keeps mum on going public

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Okay, but the real issue

Or a class 5 full roaming vapour.

Microsoft Azure: It's getting hot in here, so shut down all your cores

Doogie Howser MD

Marketplace is shafted too

"The portal is having issues getting authentication tokens for Microsoft_Azure_Marketplace."

For the love of fuck.

Home Office opens AWS cash firehose a little wider with police IT deal

Doogie Howser MD

Nee Naw

Spelling, grammar and proper language use police here...

"from a traditional on-premise data centre to Amazon Web Services".

On the premise of what?

Using Microsoft's Hybrid MDM? Er, not for much longer

Doogie Howser MD


Well done in shoe horning in a RoboCop cultural reference.

Now someone call a goddamn paramedic!

Microsoft to pay new bounties for identity services holes

Doogie Howser MD

Re: I doubt there's any BV code in there

As I recall, it's a custom build of ADAM. There's a blog post out there somewhere On TechNet about it.

Ticketmaster gatecrash: Gig revelers' personal, payment info glimpsed by support site malware

Doogie Howser MD

Convenience Fee

Now is my big chance to get my own back. For every attempted fraud attempt, I'm going to charge Ticketshyster £1000 "convenience fee", see how they fucking like it.

UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

Doogie Howser MD


Perhaps it's my aged eyes, but to me, the foreground picture quality looks the same in UHD as it does in 1080P. The main quality difference I see is that the background is much sharper, so you can see Brazilian female fans in all their finery.


UKFast bit barn yarn: 'Cisco switch glitch' leads to service ditch

Doogie Howser MD

Spelling mistake

"CEO Lawrence Jones" should read "CEO Lawrence Jones MBE". Surely by now he must have changed his name by deed poll.

UK mobe network Three's profits hit by IT upgrade costs

Doogie Howser MD

Bullshit Bingo Klaxon



VMware might just have cracked the container market with NSX

Doogie Howser MD

Are you sure?

"Revenue for Q4 2018 was US$2.31 billion"

Last I checked we were only in March. Do they have a corporate DeLorean?

Roses are red, violets are blue, VMware's made a new vSphere for you

Doogie Howser MD

I'm jealous of the fact you have requirements. Every project I work on I ask for these on day one, only to be met with the response "I dunno, what does <x> do?".

STOP! It's dangerous to upgrade to VMware 6.5 alone. Read this

Doogie Howser MD

Sounds to me

Like it was the author's fuck up and he's writing it in the third person to pretend it was someone else.

I thought there'd be more Instagram: ICT apprenticeships down 20% in five years

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Perhaps it's the obvious

100%, mate. If the experience of my son is anything to go by, few IT apprenticeships are worth their salt, just cheap labour.

In my day, an apprenticeship with a plumber meant shadowing them as they did work, doing bits and bobs and doing more as you got more competent. Doesn't seem like there's much quality checking (if any) around placements as I assume agencies get their finders fee and fuck the kids (not literally, obvs.)

VMware: Sure, you might run our stuff on bare-metal Azure, but we don't have to like it

Doogie Howser MD

Why would VMware like it?

After all, it's just another off ramp from vSphere to the cloud...

Capgemini: We love our 'flexible, flowing' spade

Doogie Howser MD

Re: This isn't just a spade...

Can't we just call a spade a spade anymore?

1,000 jobs on the line at BAE Systems' Lancashire plants – reports

Doogie Howser MD

Re: How to solve Brexit.

What the fuck has this got to do with Brexit?

Microsoft fixing Windows 10 'stuttering' bugs in Creators Update

Doogie Howser MD

What car?

Would a struggling McLaren Honda be more appropriate?

Fujitsu's Australian cloud suffers storage crash, outage

Doogie Howser MD

Cloud / Not Cloud

Careful with the terminology here - public cloud and what Fujitsu offer may be somewhat different. In my experience, it's just managed services - i.e. your VMs on their kit and they manage it for you. They don't offer PaaS or SaaS or anything that resembles public cloud, including characteristics such as consumption monitored billing or automation.

If the Aussie barn offers this then great, but don't lump Azure/AWS/GCP et al into the same bracket. They're not the same. And to re-iterate the point, don't keep a local (i.e. single DC) only copy of data that matters, I'd have thought in this day and age it would be obvious.

It's not sales bullshit, it's simple public cloud / managed services design.

Snoop Dogg swerves Glasto, plays Pure Storage gig #keepitreal

Doogie Howser MD

Bring out Kid Rock as well!

That's peak Silicon Valley right there. That's what makes the show so damn funny!

OnePlus accused of installing cheat codes for benchmarks with new handset

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Galaxy S7

Not strictly the same thing, but I have an old Samsung SM-P600 tablet that I update regularly with LineageOS builds, so I've always got the monthly security update on it.

Hundreds stranded at Manchester Airport due to IT 'glitch'

Doogie Howser MD

Dick, I'm Very Disappointed

"You call *this* a glitch?!"

PayPal peed off about Pandora's 'P' being mistaken for its 'PP'

Doogie Howser MD

Watch out Richard!

The Pied Piper guys must be shitting themselves!

Cloud computing is bigger than AWS and Azure

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Re:cloud computing

Agreed. We're not just talking about "someone else's computer" but a fleet of services such as video transcoding. API gateways, IOT gateways etc that are already built and ready to go. Cloud is so much more than IaaS.

As you stare at the dead British Airways website, remember the hundreds of tech staff it laid off

Doogie Howser MD

Testing? Err...yeah

I couldn't help but wonder why a "database upgrade" (if indeed it was this) would cause such a profound effect on their website. I mean, even in the world of outsourcing they must have test scripts and maybe even blue/green or A/B environments for test/dev/staging to prod? (I know that might be a stretch).

In my experience, off shore staff do precisely what they're told, when they're told and nothing else. If they're told to click next next finish, they'll do it. Ultimately someone higher up the chain than button bashers should take the blame for a total lack of acceptance testing.

Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Could be worse.....

Even though it's been cancelled, you should always look on the bright side of life!

There's no shame in VMware quitting the public cloud

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Too little too late

Maybe they just got cocky and complacent and assumed if they built it, people would come. It has happened to tech titans before and will happen again. Like has already been said, public/hybrid cloud these days is so much more than just IaaS. It's complicated services commoditised, such as data warehousing and video transcoding, as an example.

That just isn't a stream VMware wanted to fish in.

Hundreds of millions 'wasted' on UK court digitisation scheme

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Community vid reveals demos of vSphere-on-AWS cloud concoction

Doogie Howser MD

Nothing in it for VMware?

Speaking as an AWS and VMware partner, I still don't see an upside for VMware in this arrangement. All it looks like to me is stretching out the revenue stream a little bit longer but with the implicit admission that AWS will start to eat larger VMware environments for breakfast.

I could be wrong, but all of the videos etc I've seen so far only serve to back this up.

Samsung's Bixby totally isn't a Siri ripoff because look – it'll go in phones, TVs, fridges, air con...

Doogie Howser MD


But will it behave like Clive Bixby or Bill Bixby?

$310m AWS S3-izure: Why everyone put their eggs in one region

Doogie Howser MD

A third option

As well as having hybrid deployments and multi-region designs, you could even go a step further and keep some stuff in AWS and some stuff in say Azure. I know it's more management and more cost, but the skills are largely transferable and the bottom line is, how much cash and reputation are you losing as a business when your cloud based app/whatever is off line?

Dyson backs Britain plc with $2.5bn AI and robotics investment

Doogie Howser MD

Re: Airblade, airfield, airware

Whenever I see a Dyson Airblade hand dryer in action, I think of Tommy Cooper!

Is your child a hacker? Liverpudlian parents get warning signs checklist

Doogie Howser MD

Re: "Cyber Security Leader & Entrepreneur"

Not forgetting the other timeless favourite "Thought Leader". Anyone who espouses this form of arrogant bullshit should have their testes welded together.

Roses are reddish, exam-takers more so: Cisco's test price hike's a smack to the torso

Doogie Howser MD


I don't see how this relates in any way to Brexit as the blogger notes they've gone up stateside too. Ergo, goes up in the US, goes up worldwide.

Cardiff researchers get £250k to monitor Brexit hate crime on Twitter

Doogie Howser MD

Hate Crime, according to Gene Hunt

The phrase always reminds me of a quote from the Great Man :-

Sam: I think we need to explore whether this attempted murder was a hate crime.

Gene: What, as opposed to one of those I-really-really-like-you sort of murders?

Want to come to the US? Be prepared to hand over your passwords if you're on Trump's hit list

Doogie Howser MD
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General Kelly

Does the "Ret." stand for Retard?

Sony takes $1bn writedown: Streaming has killed the DVD star

Doogie Howser MD
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Serves them right

For greenlighting that "reboot" of Ghostbusters. Crap idea then, crap idea now. It seems my voodoo doll has some life left in it yet.

Tosspots. You can't improve on perfection.

So you want to roll your own cloud

Doogie Howser MD


I'm really not sure about the name. Sounds like something you rub on for a touch of lumbago!

Oracle crashes AWS and Azure UK cloud data centre party

Doogie Howser MD

Now is the time to buy shares in Equinix, I think!



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