* Posts by Khaptain

3254 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Android Trojan distracts Japanese with anime and porn

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Articles like this...

>The average man in the street couldn't care less.

This is probably very true but then again we are reading this article on a "Techie" website and the majority of readers here are "techies" of some sort or the other who know that in the world of IT, "semantics" are extremely import.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Articles like this...

It's simple really,

Malware is in general not very destructive it's usually annoying.. ( This is an example)

Trojans on the other hand can be extremely destructive depending on their nature.

Not all payloads have the same effect. Someone stealing your personal information is one thing, someone modifiying/destroying information or taking complete control is another.

This article was another of those "scary" ones where we are supposed to rush out and buy and AntiVirus solution in order to protect ourselves. Complete bullshit - you protect yourself by not downloading apps that can't be trusted and if none can be found then tough luck don't use any at all..

Semantics really does give us something to bother about.

Khaptain Silver badge

No a trojan

Wouldn't it be more correct to call this Malware rather than a trojan ?

In my book a trojan is a program designed to give control of your machine to a 3rd party in one way or another but definately not just to steal personal data.

There must be literally thousands of apps that request access to the Phonebook and each obviously has the potential to do the same thing : ie steal your contact information. So whats new here.

Mcafee - Lets be honest this is a report coming from someone with a vested interest.

Ten... Kitchen Gadget Treats

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: talking "Kitchen Talk".

Yes , I agree any fool can follow a recipe and this is exactly why any self respecting engineer would not be interested. There is very little need, other than minor organisational skills, for the usage of the "la matiere grise".

Good food creation, in my opinion requires a completely different skill set and I would find it difficult to relate a rational/logical approach within that particular environment.

I would relate kitchen/culinary skills as belonging to a more artistic, less Cartesian world, hence my surprise to see so much interest from an engineering crowd, unless of course the Marketing dept read El Reg too.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Learn to hack food, Khaptain.

Apperently there is a larger ratio of Gordon Ramseys than Bill Gates types on this site than I imagined.

So are all you Gordon Ramsey types actually buying these kitchen items and really do have a serious interest in kitchen gadgetry........

I work in a large corporate envirnment with a large IT staff, about 98% male and I do not believe that I have ever heard any of them talking "Kitchen Talk". Obvioulsy my company is by no means representative of the El Reg readership....

I bow down to my Kitchen Bod overlords.....

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Learn to hack food, Khaptain.

And I suppose that it is your wife that repairs the cars, does the heavy gardening, does the tiling in the bathroom, the electrical work etc.....

In general I do the heavy stuff and she does the light stuff, my wife is not a Gorrilla. There is nothing misogynist or sexist it is simply a matter of physics.

I am not great at cooking, it simply doesn't interest me. By concertrating on the techy side of life , it keeps me in a job, keeps the car repair/gardening/maintenance bills down and thereby allows us more expenditure for good food, which the wife happily prepares ( She likes cooking , I don't ).

I imagine it is much the same scenario for most people.

>It might also impress your girlfriend, if you ever get one.

That says more about you that it does about me by the way.

Khaptain Silver badge

More gadgets in the kitchen - are you sure about that ?

>Most of us actually have more gadgets in the kitchen than anywhere else in the house

Did you really mean, most of our "Wives/Girlfriends/Mothers" actually have more gadgets in the kitchen?

I would presume that the male members of El Reg have more gadgets of the "IT Kind" or "tools/gadgets" in their garages. I am surmising that the percentage of "male" El Reg readers is probably around the 90% mark.

Iran's plan to UNPLUG the INTERWEBS back from the dead

Khaptain Silver badge


Then go and live in Iran.

Forensic snoops: It doesn't take a Genius to break into an iPhone

Khaptain Silver badge

Easy Solution

Rather than encrypt or obfuscate, wouldn't it be more subtle to fill your phone full of semi "false" information.

For example, changing your friends names to "Judges names" or Police Chief names, having a couple of images of well known lawyers or politicians ( easily scanned from the web) why not photoshop yourself along with them ....

you get the idea..

TITANIC 'UNLIKELY' TO SINK AGAIN, says prof - apparently

Khaptain Silver badge

Reports just coming in

Well who would have thunk it.

A North Korean nuclear submarine was just surfacing of the south east coast of Newfoundland at exactly the same moment as large passenger boat was crossing the area.

The Italian passenger boat captain jumped ship quickly in order to verify the provenance of the strange noise, the ship may have been listing severely at this point, facts are still not clear..

The North Korean submarine commander admitted to having heard a loud "thud" just as he was surfacing and had thought that they had simply hit a large whale. Apparently he was also surprised to learn that the impact had accidently set of one of their "test" missiles which unfortunately punctured the hull of the passenger ship.

Due to a possible translation misunderstanding it is not yet clear which of the submarine's "incidents" actually happend first..

Latest reports suggest that despite the unfortunate drowning of the Cabin <del>Slaves</del> Crew, Captains of both vessels have been rescued and are currently in the process of helping the police identify the dead.

The "Professor" was not available for interview at the time of the outgoing press.

Ten... Living Room Gadget Treats

Khaptain Silver badge

Dear El Reg

Have you run out of "The 10 Most [insert whatever here"] ideas. That article appears to have been poorly thrown together in a last minute effort.

To quote from the mighty Cleese - "That Parrot is dead".

India gobbling up chips to the tune of £5.8 BILLION

Khaptain Silver badge

The worldbank.org cites India as having about 250 Million of it's people livining on under $1.25 per day. Basically these people have problems eating every day.

The Gartner group cite that there will be an explosion in India of the number of Mobile phones, telephones and gadgets in general.

Obviously we are not talking about the same sectorts here.

So what can we presume from this

* This Indian wealth division gap is further increasing.

* The caste system is stronger than ever.

* The Indian governement still have a lot of "thinking" to do.

* M Ghandi fought for nothing..

Big business and goverments are happy to see India as a new market to feed from and at the same time are capable of completely ignoring how they are adding to it's strife.

WTF is... UltraViolet

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Control Freaks

Couple of points you didnt mention.

* Fibre Optics ( FTTH) is becoming a reality for a lot of people. Think about the progress we have seen in the last 10 years.

* Millions of people are currently using P2P, Torrents and Streaming ( albeit illegally) already which proves that technology is already capable. I agree that it needs improved a little though.

* The internet is full of numpties that do not know the difference between a Modem and a Codec. Don't expect them to be able to do much more than simply select their movies. The majority of people are actually honest, so they wont even bother trying to burn copies for themselves. Big business will probably make some kind of "background streaming/downloading device" available which would resolve the bad connection problems.

* Business models evolve and as soon as they can remove the physical media from the equation, they will.

* Youtube is not a brilliant example but it is an example of how films can be distributed to the masses already. I watch the long duration films on a regular basis and the quality is more than acceptable.

Khaptain Silver badge

Control Freaks

Today the DVD or BD physical format will be available, tommorrow there will only be the virtual format. After that you are Pwned my friend, Pwned.......

Five charged after fanboi sells kidney for iPad and iPhone

Khaptain Silver badge

One kidney less

Now that the said donor has one less kidney, renal failure, a a little bit cash( not including the new medical fees), it would be ineresting to hear how important he feels that an Ipad/Iphone really is.

The sad part is that this is what "marketing" is really all about, drumming up a frenzy of "wanton desire" for a product that has no intrisic value. It really is pretty damned sad that the human being can be reduced to such a level.....

You could easilly replace ipad/iphone by any product that teenagers want or that is seen as the "HipThang".

Ice age end was accelerated by CO2

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Thumbs Down Crowd

Believe it or not, I do actually care. Why because in relation to some of my posts, either there is a whole bunch of sheep out there that are still learning to chew or I am completely of the wall. I am convinced that the latter is not true.

Therefore it means that percentage wise there are several possible conclusions that I can surmise:

* Liberal and rational thinkers are very few and far between.

* Liberal and rational thinkers don't actually use the Green button.

* The simple minded sheep are far more numerous amongst the El Reg forums than I had previously thought. ( This is scary because they work or have a serious interest in IT).

* The simple minded sheep have a very small capacity for thinking out of the box and that is not an advantage within our industry. As the rest of us have to repair the damage.

* The simple minded sheep collectively are stronger because of their numbers, within a democracy this is very scary. El Reg will eventually cater to them because that's whats bring in the dollars. ( And then I will be forced to read/follow one of the lesser sites, lol)

So those damned Thumbs Down users, the ones that don't actually leave comments, are a worrying figure.

[Yes, I know that simple minded sheep is an oxymoron but it enhances the image]

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: @Khaptain: Minor nit

I agree, I should not have tarred all journalists with the same brush but it is difficult to know who the truly objective ones are.

Objective journalists are a rarer species than the truly objective scientists these days.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Thumbs Down Crowd

The problem here lies in the fact that the posts that have the most downvoting very seldom have any direct replies. This make it impossible to know what exactly you or anyone else actually does agree with.

Quite often I see cases where there are more downvotes than there are upvotes, go figure...... This thread was one of them....or at least it was when I started reading it.

Khaptain Silver badge

Thumbs Down Crowd

Would all the "Thumbs Down Crowd" please stand up and speak your minds. It's one thing to have the courage to click that red button it's another to explain why.

Fine, you do not agree with a comment, thats your perogative but it would greatly advance us all to understand why ! You may have something to offer which would change our minds and bring us out of the dark.

Debate and discussion require at least two parties, it's what makes them interesting and is also what is necassary in order that both parties can eventually evolve.

It takes just a little bit of courage to stand up and speaks one's mind or make a proposition and it is necassary to accept that sometimes you will fail. But to simply stand at the back and naysay relegates you to the level of a sheep.

I would rather read an article that I didn't agree with than see those Thumbs Down counters adding up.

Khaptain Silver badge

The multitude of studies and scientific reports is giving us the impression, be it true or false, that the planet is changing quicker that we are capable of evolving. I am not convinced that this is fact. People are scared and the governements and "funding researchers" are happy to play along with this idea.

We can all make a multitide of hypotheses concerning the future but at the end of the day the "Black Swan" will arrive and prove us all wrong. We are trying to predict the unpredictable and people need to realise the difference between what is fact and what is scaremongering. The journalists are as much to blame as the scientists.

Intel goes back to school with StudyBook tablet

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Probably going to sound like a new age person here

I completely understand your point of view but there are a few points that I would like to make.

Computers and most other modern gadgets were built by generations that did not have access to these items within the classroom. It did not stop that generation from becoming very effecient with these tools at a later stage.

By introducing computers into the classroom I feel that we are creating a dependance which is very difficult to remove. The elementary skills of Reading, Writing, aRithmetic can be applied in all and almost every occasion within life. Computers are only useful within very limited conditions.

Please don't get me wrong, I have been in IT for more than 20 years and I completely understand the role that computers and IT have to play but I also understand that the only reason I became any good at computing was because I was taught the elementary skills correctly. If I had been subjected to a computer at a very young age my computing skills may have developed but I would probably lacked in others.

In my point of view , I feel that computers make us dependant wheres the basic skills help us to remain independant.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Playbook or ereader would be just as useful

eReader to replace books -- Smart thinking.

Laptops for those at "home" or unable to attend -- Smart thinking.

Playbook for multimedia -- Not too bad.....

Good to see some pragmatic thoughts

Khaptain Silver badge

PCs in the classroom.

I see it too often in our Regional/European meetings, Managers hunched over their laptops "whilst" someone is giving a presentation. Ok sometimes the presentations are boring but when you have an alternative choice...

I have no experience of the classroom but I can imagine that given the same choice a kid will easilly be distracted and will prefer his laptop, which has games and social media on it, than a lecture from a teacher.

Are kids also allowed to take laptops into exams, if not then why are they in the classroom.

I would be interested too hear the rationalisations for allowing PCs onto the school desktop. ( University excepted - and don't come up with the "It replaces the heavy books argument, please").

IT urine bandit fired and charged

Khaptain Silver badge

Water Sports at work, lol

I hope that they washed all of the coffee cups as well.

Anonymous turns its fire on China

Khaptain Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Carefull, be vary carefull

I am not convinced that "fucking over" the Chinese government is such a great idea. The Chinese don't play by the same rules and if push comes to shove, the results could be dire.

In the west some of what Anonymous does can be considered "fun" although not all of it. I don't think the Chinese government will see it quite that way.

As I am led to believe, the Chinese are quite already very strong in hacking and Anonymous might just be treading on the wrong turf........

I agree with some of the principals behind what Anonymous are "hacking/fighting" for but if they are gonna get a little too big headed then I feel that they need to sit down and really reconsider their purpose.

They are more likely to do harm to the Chinese people than the Chinese government. Retribution is a word that Anonymous have to keep in mind.

TripAdvisor chucks antitrust complaint on Google's pile

Khaptain Silver badge


Kettle , black , pot

Should I mention "fake reviews"

Watchdog sniffs David Beckham's wedding tackle

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: New definition of size

What does a Typical Aussie budgie smuggle ?. Is it that dried white fish that we see stuck through the cages?

An Aussie Tit smuggler on the otherhand needs no introduction.

Side remark . Please do not post pictures of Victoria Beckham in her underwear, that would really frighten the kids, but not for the same reason.

EU plans tougher punishment for hackers – and their bosses

Khaptain Silver badge

A licence to kill


"Individuals found in possession of or distributing hacking software and tools also face criminal charges under the Committee's proposals".

Arms Industry

"Individuals found in possession of or distributing weapons also face criminal charges under the Committee's proposals".

Surely this should also apply to Weapons manufacturers. But then again the Arms industry is capable of powerfull lobbying within appropriate circles.

Parents shocked by priestly PowerPoint pr0n

Khaptain Silver badge

I don't want to step on toes, but

I shall obstain from writing unnecassary remarks about religious dogma and theological ideas bestowed upon young impressionable minds but .....

If people want to believe in Sky Fairies , I must learn to accept that.

If Catholic priests feel that it is necassary to show Pornographic or Gay images to their flock, then so be it, I must learn to live with that too. ( Flock = a group of Sheep, n'est-ce pas ?)

If priests want to wear "frocks" , well, that's starting to appear a little strange.

If a man wearing a frock shows me some porn and then asks me to come into a dark room so that I can confess my sexual thoughts to him, well I think it is time to change religion.......

Thumbs down and Comments

Khaptain Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Thumbs down and Comments

Wow, an 80% chocolate remark = multitude of downvotes. It didn't even look like you were trying ;-) ;-) ;-)

I usually have to make some remark about religion or mankind in order to achieve that level....

I definately agree with your remark about comprehension, there appears to be a major failure relating to the understanding of any given article and then very quickly a complete mis-understanding relating to many of the comments, even the 80% chocoloate ones, lol...

I don't always agree with what everyone says, but I will usually try and make a for a discussion , albeit it can get heated, rather than simply push the red button.

Here is the updated link to the forum about Creme Eggs.

Creme Eggs

( it was moved out of the latest group)

Khaptain Silver badge

Thumbs down and Comments

As a frequent receiver of "Thumbs Downs", and yes I admit to the fact that I push things in that direction, I would like people to be forced to give a comment as to why they have given the negative feedback.

Also I often get the impression that there are some commentards who go on "Thumbs Down" missions whereby they will actively search out any of your posts in order to click that famous red thumb.

What the fuck people, if you don't agree with someone at least have the courage to say why or give a counter arguement. It is extremely frustrating to see twats pushing the red thumbs but never being able to understand why.

If people do not want to become actively involved, then don't become involved and that means leaving the red thumbs alone.

Just clicking a red thumb adds no weight it just proves that they are from the same sheep mould as all the other sheep. Maybe we should call them DollyTards.

Thinking out of the box is one of the luxuries that we still retain, don't lose it....

Big Blue to handle SKA's Big Data about Big Bang

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Is it all really worth it ?

Spot the difference......

I'm a caveman, looking up at the sky thinking to myself, I wonder whats up there and will I ever be able to understand it ?

I'm a contemporary scientist , looking up at the sky thinking to myself, I wonder whats up there and will I ever be able to understand it ?

Now ask yourself if we have ever really left the caves, or have we simply modified them to look a little bit better ?

Khaptain Silver badge

Is it all really worth it ?

The universe that we perceive is just that, it's "Mans Perception of the Universe", it might actually be something entirely different, we only see it in relation to our scale within the universe. ( thinking Voltaire's Micro Mega here). Is it possible that we still haven't seen the real picture yet ?

We are a tiny intelligent life form on one of a infinite number of planets looking out into an infinite number of universes, galaxies etc We have difficulty taking care of our own planet correctly and yet we are interested in things that may or may not have happened millions of light years ago.

It's almost as though we are looking for a solution that will allow us to create our own "universes". In other words we want to play at being God, now there's a scary thought.

Bring-your-own-mobe pilot for BlackBerry-shunning council bods

Khaptain Silver badge

News Headline : Work related incidents on the rise

If your telephones falls and breaks at work, who will be reponsable for replacing it ? The employee or the employer.

If it is the employer : see title.

If it is the employee : then weep cause you are only a bod anyway.....

China purges coup rumours from social media

Khaptain Silver badge

Could swing both ways.

As a result of removing the pages, is it not likely that that in itself will cause a new viral campaign ? Ad infinitum.

Use the holy word of God to stay secure online, says bishop

Khaptain Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Does this work?

Its a long time since I have read or spoken any Hebrew but I would guess that you are trying to write "Sesame" as in Open Sesame.


Gov IT contractors hire staff in India to work on benefits system

Khaptain Silver badge

2nd thought on Irony

There was a time when Indians left India in order to come to the UK for work, etc...

What happens, the work gets outsourced to india.......Catch 22..

Chinese to burn iPads in upcoming celebrations

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: $3.20 for a paper iPad?

If nothing else, on the reverse side there are printed instructions detailing how to hold the piece of paper correctly.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: @Khaptain

@JDX I love it when people show their total ignorance of a subject whilst calling others ignorant. It's almost poetry.

Would you care to extrapolate on this wonderfull piece of wisdom.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: @JDX

Calm down boy, as long as you have "faith" you'll pull through. A good miracle is never far away, strange how any mention of the Sky Fairies et al always seem to knock the followers down to their knees......

I think history has shown us quite enough examples of how ignorance and blind faith have led to the destruction of so many. The Popes have a lot to answer for...

And I really don't see the difference between Voodoo and the monotheistic or multitheistic faiths. They are all based on the same element, the complete ignorance of the follower, ignorance = fear, where fear is then used to control the follower.......

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Voodoo its all voodoo

Because Steve was the enlightened leader of all things <font size="3">i.</font>

for example :

i-Chi ( The powerfull internal energy )

i-Ching ( The famous book of destiny - Ok the book of changes).

ta-i chi ( Chinese Yoga - notice the I just before the chi.......)

i-deas ( The Chinese word for copyright theft........lol)

[Can we have the font markups please]

Wags unroll Twitter toilet paper

Khaptain Silver badge

All hail the Twitterati

People used to suffer from a bad case of Verbal Diarrhea.

Now it appears as though they might have the Twitter Shits or Twitter Skitter.......

By the way is this the Anal or the Verbal version ?

PlayStation 4 'Orbis' pegged for 2013 release

Khaptain Silver badge

Games please, not consoles

Personally I would like to see them spending more money on creating tools which allow developers to develop quicker and also to reduce the game creation costs.

Add to the that something that will allow them to break out of the FPS and MMORPG shell. We need new blood, new ideas , simpler techniques and an increase in originality.

A new console will simply require even more setup costs for the small developement studios that are already struggling to keep up.

The current consoles are already damned powerfull machines, Sony should focus on the games developers not the shareholders.

China passes the US in free iPad app downloads

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Mind your language

In my ignorance I also failed to see the precentage of English speaking chinese people that possess an Ipad and that have downloaded one of the 300 most popular apps and thereby failed to understand the reason for the Chinese having passed the US in free app usage.

Hopefully, you will provide us with something a little bit more interesting than a bloody Wikipedia page.

I bow down to your extraordinary web skills, not

Acer set to unleash 15in fibreglass MONSTER

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Reliable?

Definately agree, or if you can up the budget just a little, a 2nd hand Thinkpad.

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