* Posts by Khaptain

3252 posts • joined 4 May 2008

TRULY sinister blond madman signed for Bond 24, whisper insiders

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Garry MCKinnon as one of deranged sidekicks, Kim Dotcom as the other....

Google Nexus 4 flips finger at Sandy, appears on YouTube

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Consensus - Are you Swedish

I hereby downvote myself for not being Swedish and hence incapable of understanding a single word from the YT vid.

Thanks ElReg, that was about as useful as being RickRolled.

Microsoft's 'official' Windows 8 Survival Guide leaks

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That last image looks a lot like the American method used for "Data Extraction".

I wonder what's worse , Waterboarding or accidentaly activating TIFKAM.

Lenovo IdeaPad U410 14in Ultrabook review

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Not a Thinkpad

Thinkpads are synonymous with quality, durability and usability, this is just way of the mark.

I have a 6 year old T43p at home that is still used daily, 14" matte screen, 1400*1024 resolution with 2 Gb of ram and it runs W7 like a dream. ( I have changed the disk twice and the charger twice though.)

I have dropped it several times, its a little scraped and bashed up but the keyboard still functions like new and it is a wonderfull machine to work on.

I really dont beleive that this "Non Thinkpad" will live up to the same abuse.. ( Ok I paid a lot more for the T43p but it is a true Thnikpad).

Apple unveils iPad mini, upgrades its big brother

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Not really easy to understand the intended market

Apple appear to be saturating their own market.

Windows 8 'bad' analyst says Store is a weakness

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Re: What is the market that MS are aiming for ?

Oops that should read.

Professionals do NOT need tablets

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Re: What is the market that MS are aiming for ?

"BUT THE MAJORITY of users do not care about running office on a tablet."

I admit to going of on the wrong tangent after making this remark. The point of the matter was the most folks who already possess a tablet only have one for consumption and not for creation , hence the remarks concerning Youtune and Angry Birds.

Office will not be enough to change the minds of those that already have a tablet or a considering upgrading.

There are a minor few that use tablets for professional reasons but again they are not being used for creation, its more "look at my new Powerpoint" ( which weas created on their PC or Portable).

My whole point is based on the fact that Professionals do need tablets as they do not fill in the same role as a portable does/can. I can spend a whole week using just my portable, I would hate to try and spend a whole week with nothing but a tablet ( even if it did have a keyboard/mouse).

MS are pushing their strategy towards tablet computing but I do not believe that the professional world requires/want it and the Public at Large definately don't Need what MS has to offer, some might want it but that's all.

The MS solution does not have the Shiny Shiny that Apple does nor does it have the Freetard/Lowcost/Flexibility that the Green Bot has.

Khaptain Silver badge

What is the market that MS are aiming for ?

Apple created a tablet that the Shiny Shiny crowd just love for watching Youtube and playing Angry Birds etc without then having to a tech genius - A very successful project.

Google invented the Android platform for the Non Shiny Shiny crowd who love it because it allows them to watch youtube and play angry birds.- It also gave the techies a great new toy to play with - A very successful projet.

Up until here there is a small relation between the two platforms. ( Youtube and Angry Birds is a clue)

RIM, HP - Lets not speak about them -they have failed for the moment.

Microsoft will bring out a new tablet that will allow you to do the same as the other two ( Apple and Google) but that in certain conditions ( Intel not ARM) allow you to also run MS Office.

BUT THE MAJORITY of users do not care about running office on a tablet. I have various office applications on my android Tablet and Phone and honestly it is a PITA using them for this purpose, everything is very fiddly. OK with a keyboard and a mouse things become easy but I don't carry a keyboard and mouse around in my pocket/bag, it would defeat the purpose of having a tablet in the first place.

So in others words the only advantage that the MS platform truly has, MS Office, is a non event. Most of the "commonn people" don't actually require the need to edit Word docs, Excel sheets and macros or Powerpoint slides on the go. That market is tiny compared to the Shiny Shiny / Green Bot Crowd and there is no way that the coporates will supply a tablet for anymore that 2% of its workforce.

I just don't see why the majority would ever be swayed towards the MS platform, they are already seem happy with what they currently have.

Quote Yoda : Tiles, a platform, does not make.....

MS are a huge Marketing machine, they will not fail in this project but I do not for a moment believe that they will achieve anywhere near the market percentages that they are hoping for.

Apple iPod Nano 7G review

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Re: Missing from the review.....

Toxteth - I am sure you would agree that simply printing the specs has no relation to a worthwhile review.

Battery life figures mean nothing on a spec sheet, it would be better to have real world figures ? all that El Reg did was quote the specs.

Connectivity : Bluetooth - Which versions are catered for ?

Radio : Did anyone even turn it on ?

You catch my drift.

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Re: Missing from the review.....

This is an Apple product, it has nothing to do with Audio Quality or technical specifications. It's all about how "Shiny Shiny" the item is.

Thinness is far more important than Sound.

Colour is far more important than battery life.

The amazing Home Button is far more important than transfer speeds or connectivity.

What worries me more is the point at which El Reg have arrived at becoming Shills for Apple........ El Reg no longer do technical, now its all about Marketing.

Dear El Reg , please remind us how much of a kickback you guys get for all the Apple advertising.

Enterprise servers go soft at Intel in Q3

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Net Income was down to 2.97 Billion.........

The 1st paragraph is written as though there is major disruption in the Force.

FFS they made a profit of 2.97 Billion in a 3 month period and thats to be considered as bad news......

Pirate Bay moves to the cloud to confound copyright cops

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Its all a cloud

They will do more for cloud computing than anyone has previously done. This really shows what the cloud is all about.

The days of the Dark Net are a reality.

Google's 'JavaScript killer' marks first birthday with update

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Re: Yaawwwwwwnnnn.

Google products are never out of Beta.

Beta is the term Google use to annonce that they have created something, do not have a clear idea of exactly what is should do, get some feedback, publically annonce the iminent release, re-invent the wheel for re-inventions sake , and "then" ShitCan the whole thing.

It will be interesting to see how long Google Drive lasts before they change its name.

Google are still in the Beta stage of Fanboi frenzy, wheras Apple have passed that stage long ago..

Facebook offers just a week of free Android AV

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Lambs to the slaughter

I wonder how many FB users actually know what an AV actually does ? other than "eventually / hopefully" generate a bit of cash for Captain Zuck et al..

Windows 8 and the ‘Dad test’ stunts

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Dale Vile

Dale : 1st thing, the audience of this site is very tech savvy and that bullshit article belongs in a cheap fashion magazine. Really the article is utter crap.

Do you really work in the IT world, it seems very doubtfull.

Home user training : FROM WHOM. Do you really believe that they have the resources to PAY for tuition.

I can't imagine many techies offering to help them either as it is a subject which everyone, who has any experience in the matter, avoids like the plague. Home users usually possess one PC so that can't even Google the answers while trying to learn. So where exactly does their training come from ?????

Corporate user training : If an employee does not state that they have prior Windows/Office knowledge they will probably be eliminated from the selection list. You are EXPECTED to know how to use Windows BEFORE entering the corporate environment. Training users is very, very, very expensive so it is usually way down at the bottom of the todo list. Again no training !!!!!!

And students aren't given much more than; This is a mouse, this is a keyboard training either.

In fact almost everyone has to learn on their own and I do not think that that will come as a suprise to anyone on this site.

Can you please provide us with the source of your arguements. Hopefully you weren't reading Balmers or Sinofskys guide to selling Windows 8 .

Dishonored game review

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Re: Enjoying the game but,

Quote Alistair : Bring on the next console generation. The tech's too old now.

Graphics on their own add only a little to a game. A good game is a combination of challenge, graphics, music , storyline, Accomplishments, evolution, ambience, the unexpected etc etc etc .

The console in itself is nothing compared to a clever programmer. John McCormack , Roberta Williams etc had nowhere near the processing power that we have today and yet they made fantastic games...

Final decision by Home Sec on McKinnon extradition due today

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Bullshit politics and lawyers

The whole case has been a farce from the beginning. I honestly couldn't care less about the outcome. What I do care about though is the fact that it has taken 10 years to arrive at nothing. It shows what a farce that politics ans the law have become.

Curiosity finds . . . wait for it . . . a ROCK on MARS!

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The beggining of a new civilisation

Maybe this rock will becomet the foundation for a new, just and equal society where mankind can live peacefully with his fellow citizens. It might be the end to all religious problems, after all only God could have put that rock there.

Bwahhhh ha ha ha ha

LOL, it's Friday and somebody has to stir up some futile ideas. The real world scenario would probably encompass the bashing of someones head with the aformentioned rock in order to ensure their own personal survival. Rocks are well know for being harder than the average human skull and this one does not appear to be any different.

Boffins baffled: HUGE EYEBALL washes up on Florida beach

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Just of the Florida Keys

Jack Sprat a local sporty big fish game hunter managed to land a very large fish on his lovely powerboat.

The big fish was deeply annoyed at having been caught and started to flail wildy about on the back of the boat, it's tail actually managed to knock Jack Sprats plastic beer containter into the ocean.

Jack Sprat having seen this shouted angrilly at the big fish "If you don't stop flailing about I am going to poke you in the eye with this boat hook".

No further explanation required.

Asia skills shortages attract job-hunting IT project managers

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Current economique climate dilemma

Given the current state of the economique climate, personally I would consider a move to Asia way up on the High Risk chart.

Besides the option of travelling I really don't see what advantages there would be working in overcrowded cities where rents/costs are on par or above typical European cities.

I had considered it a few years back but at the end of the day I couldn't find any real advantage. I have already travelled and worked abraod, I still do, so that side of things is not appealing. My current salary allows me sufficient perks so its not a salary thing. I do agree that the culture would be interesting but is that enough ? it is just for a temporary 3 or 4 years stint ? It would take at least 1 year to become comfortable getting about and learning the basics of the language. That would leave maybe a further 2 or 3 years before you start pining for your homeland.

So unless you are young and ambitious, but then you wouldn't have any experience to offer, who exactly would these jobs offers appeal to ? Its an honest question and not a critique.

Ballmer's lightened pay packet is the least of his problems

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You are probably quite correct

Unless Microsoft has moved into the furniture removal business I do not see them moving many tables either.

Amazon UK leaks Windows 8 retail box, TV ads

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Re: bunch of old men

I agree that all of the Enterprise tools are a definate plus BUT why oh why can't they also allow us to the option of the existing Start Menu.

TIFKAM is the only thing that I don't like about W8, everything else appears to be fine ( Well almost).

RIM opens BlackBerry 10 marketplace for submissions

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Too many markets

IOS, Android, Win(something) and Blackberry.

First you have got to have a "killer" application and the means and resources to create that application.

Then you have to do some market research in order to determine which of the 4 markets is likely to be the present the most opportunity.

Then you will need some publicity from somewhere and this costs money and time.

Then you will either have a niche market or will be competing with a multitude of similar products.

Then you have to be ready to do the support, again Time and Money..

The chances of success are damned slim in any of these markets.

Ok Rovio managed to do something which very few others can do, they are definately the 1 in a Million.

I am not saying don't create apps but at least think twice before you end up out of pocket.. Apple, Google et al don't care how much it costs you in time or money, they can't lose either way.

Ubuntu goes fishing for donations with new download page

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Re: All contributions should be welcome

"Why should our favorite OS's benefactor (Astronaut/ Cosmonaut & empowering Juggernaut) Mark be the only one to pay? We should make it as easy as possible for others who want to pay by facilitating efforts."

Mark has something that most of us do not, about 500 Million net worth and this is only one of his pet projects. With or without Mark, Linux will continue to move forward.

Mark made it slightly more public and gained a fair amount of publicity at the same time, everyone is a winner.

Microsoft fast-tracks Windows 8 Service Pack updates

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Strangely worded title

This is not a Service Pack why is it being annonced as such, this is just some normal updates.

Quote Sinofsky "to deliver these “post-RTM” updates sooner than a service pack"......

Service Packs, at least for me, will include minor/major functionality that was not included in the original release. ( Yes, it will also inlcude the standard run of the mill updates as well).

Shit, the way this was annonced by El Reg I was hoping that there would have an alternative option to TIFKAM getting released. ( And not third party alternatives)

Google cash brings all the cold TV leftovers you can eat to YouTube

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Black Helicopters

In the future

In the future there will be no need for television. Instead you will take a Blue Pill each morning that will drop you directly you into the same subservient state as the television already does.

Youtube already has the capacity for keeping the unwashed masses entertained for countless hours on end. These television programs will not change much.

Google eyed youth spending 16 hours in front of screen - that's how we like'em..

Mystery martian object is relic of (our) civilisation

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That is not Mars

Mars is the Red Planet, those images are of a Grey Planet. Therefore by the powers of sheer deduction, Watson, I infer that the image is actually of the moon.

Ah-ha we have proof that the Yanks have finally landed on the moon then.

Hang on a minute, it mentions that the photographer/directors name is S Kubrick........ Something smells fishy here.

Apple Maps too good for Taiwanese military

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Infamous fruit

One bad apple after another..

Its a bit strange that the Taiwanese military are worried about an army sporting the latest iphones though.

New Zealand issues Hobbit money

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Paris Hilton

Too many brit expats

The Kiwis I knew would never have wasted precious bar time by producing shit like this. This must be a vestige of the colonial occupiers.

Paris : She would never lose her way for a bit of coin.

Samsung expects whopping $7.3bn profit from mobes

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Dollar notes

7.6 Billion Dollars = 30.4 Billion rounded corners ........ Now that's a lot of corners

BYOD cheers up staff, boosts productivity - and IT bosses hate it

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Re: @djack

Djack has basically specified what we find on any Blackberry that is connected to BES with a reasonable security policy applied. Its exactly the scenario applied to our BBs.

We have a short timeout period which is a pain but if you lose your BB you can be pretty much garanteed that it will be locked before anyone has the time to do any damage.

In a corporate environment Djacks specs are an extremely reasonable set of expectations.

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Re: Responsability (sic)


You nailed me perfectly..... lol..

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Re: Responsability (sic)

Wow, Mr Greatorex managed to slip penis size into a topic concerning BYOD. That actually says quite a lot about the author.

And until you have visited my company and learned from first hand experience that what I have said is the truth or not, just shut the fuck up. If you know for fact that what I said is not the truth then please explain to the audience how you managed to acquire that information because I am quite positive that we don't work in the same town nor the same country.

Quelle idiot.

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Re: Responsability

My responsibility is first towards my employer, he is the one that puts money into my bank account every month without fail. In fact my employer keeps everyone in my company in work and that should never be forgotten.

Secondly I must ensure that my colleagues have the most efficient equipment that is capable of helping then do the job they do, I know their job very well and as such i know the correct equipment to buy. I ensure that ALL of their equipment has the best standard that the budget allows. I would rather spend more on a good keyboard and a mouse than the latest I7 for which they would never use even 10% of its power.

I also have to ensure the security, failure in security will create problems for our clients, therefore security is also taken seriously. BYOD does not provide any benefit for my colleagues, but it can present an unnecessary risk for the company. My company do not like taking risks, they pride themselves on ensuring a 24h/365day service for our clients.

I work very closely with my colleagues and ensure that that IT is not a burden, I explain why a tight secure system helps them remain in work, they also understand and accept why Facebook, Youtube et al are on a blacklist.

Our company is successful , we have good clients and we try and try to do things professionally.

The first thing that I note about your response was your attitude, and it is the kind of attitude that most companies can live without.

IT is a lot more than playing with the latest gadgets. The bleeding edge is where most of the heroes start, the cemetery is where they end up.


Khaptain Silver badge


Since I am on the firing line when things go wrong, there will never be BYOD in our offices.

Why would employees be any happier using their own device anyway, they are supposed to be working. Whether I am using my own personal laptop or a company workstation makes no damned difference. Or is it just so that they can do FB, or some other social twatnet applications during the working hours without the IT Department blocking them out.

Also when an employee has a P2P client and illegal files/downloads, illegal porn, Viruses, Snuff movies on his laptop in my network, then I suddenly become partly reponsable for whats on that device, NO THANKS. All that needs to happen is that that user switches on file sharing and one other muppet downloads it across my Wifi/Lan, it can then be considered as having been made availble on my network, therefore company liability.

Legally this will become a living nightmare.

We provide material that has been validated and capable of running the software that our users require on a daily basis, we simply have no need/reason for BYOD.

Personal devices should remain just that, personal.....

This whole BYOD thing just stinks of marketing busllshit.

Samsung Galaxy Note 2 review

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Re: As a note one user..

I agree with DCope, I have the Note 1 and it never lets me down, doesn't lag and has a great screen.. I have difficulty in justifiying the upgrade, the N2 does come with JB though ( the N1 will eventuially get it too, hopefully soon).

I have a colleague prepared to buy my N1 for 250€ so if one of the local shops comes out with a decent offer I might be a little more tempted to upgrade change.

Overall a great phablet* for someone that doesn't already own one but a difficult decision for those that do.

*( I know there are some commentards who absolutely loathe that word but it seems well suited),

Paul Allen: Windows 8 'promising' yet 'puzzling'

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Re: Its a new paradigm

Thanks Trevor, I know about the classic shell but I would have loved to have seen MS include it as an option in W8.

I really don't understand their politics in "imposing" such a radical change to an OS. If TIFKAM had not been imposed, and that it was simply given as a choice, I believe that W8 would have recieved nothing but praise.

Khaptain Silver badge

Its a new paradigm

Its a very basic paradigm shift. Let your user become accustomed to and productive on a reasonably friendly interface and then change the whole damned Modus Operandi. It keeps the customer disoriented and a lot more sheeplike.

Never allow a customer to master the interface, its very bad for future sales.

Always add features that hinder productivity, we can use it as an excuse to sell training.

Just give us the option to switch back to the menu buttuon that we know how to use efficiently and everyone will be happy.

Simon Cowell plans X Factor for Tech

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Think again

Think about what Simon Cowells real job is, he is an entrepreneur, his job is about making money.

This is a man without morals who doesn't give a damn what people think about him. If he can sell the show and make a few more millions then why should he care about anyone or anything.

He has a screen character which he uses to his advantage, he generate an enormous amount of feedback. Whether the feedback is good or bad makes no difference, what is important is that the character receives a maximum of visibilty.

He is actually very good at his job, I can't even look at the prick without squirming but I have to admit he is successful at what he does and I wish that I had even 10% of his business sense.

I do not admire the person but I do admire his capacity to succeed.

Better pay your taxes: The world's NOT going to end this year

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The end of the world is nigh

I too predict that the world will come to an end and since no one will be around to verifiy it I can only be correct.

Happy birthday, Compact Disc

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The coming of commercialisation

This is just my personal feeling but vinyl presented me with something that I cherished as much as the record/music itself, the Cover.

Some of the covers were/still are works of art and on rare occassion you also had the double cover, oooohhhhhh Whilst listenging to your favorite LP you could hold/read and admire the cover, it wass a small personal paradise.

Then CDs came out a blew it all away, removing the insert of a CDRom, hopefully not ripping the paper does not present the same tactile experince. It is a delicate task which often ends up in the insert becoming tatty if great care is not taken.

I'm getting old and Cds will always represent, for me, the coming of the "Commercial Pop Culture" and with it a hell of a lot of shit music..

I don't think i'll ever be nostalgique about a CD.

The Register iPhone and Android apps: Maintenance update

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A Big F****ing Request

How about giving us the opportunity to edit our posts.......instead of providing yet another App.

Don't be like MS by giving us a TIFKAM equivalant, give us something we want instead......... Otherwise, we might have to set one or two of those "make a baby disappear" dingos on ya,kindly provided by our Antipodean countertards.

PS : No, there is no foul language in the title , that is a Four Star request...

PPS : Countertards - copyright 2012

Rumour: Asus rejects $99 Nexus 7... rumour

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Tony Smith

You been reading Digitimes articles by any chance.....

Intel denies that its CEO thinks Windows 8 isn't ready

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What's not ready

If anything I believe that it is the Public that is not ready. MS have been trying hard to sell a new paradigm but they appear to be struggling. I ddont seem to see an wild Fanbois desperately panting its release.

If the market is not ready then that becomes a problem for Intel as much as MS. Intel knows that Xmas is a favorable peroid for PC Sales, ( although things are changing), so they need W8 to come out anyway.

Ballmer should be shot for this move, I believe that they should have have TIFKAM on the tablets, normal start menu for the PCs and then wait a little to see of the public/business really wanted TIFKAM on the desktop.

MS have the monopoly, Ballmers knows this only too well, they will still sell W8 whether people want it or not.

I had W8 as a secondary machine for a couple of weeks on my desktop at work. Yesterday, I went back to W7, for me Metro does not belong in the workplace. It is extremely annoying trying to find applications. I work in a Multi Language envirnoment and I do not always know the name of applications in each of the languages which means I have to "visually" search for them.........

PS : Like one of the other commentards I had to Google for demos of the new features in order to find them. If I had problem finding things I can't imagine how Joe Public is going to manage.

RIM shares bounce on BlackBerry 10 optimism

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All depends on the model

I have had some cheap and some expensive BBs and there is a very difference between the two. I have a 9800 ( 18 months old, lots of abuse )and a 8250 as a backup. The 9800 is a solid heavy device that can take a fair beating. The 8250 on the other hand feels like a POS.

I recently ordered a 9360 for a colleague and its a solid edevice as well.

The mileage varies a lot according to the model and the price, but I suppose that is to be expected.

Regardless of the model though, even the cheap ones, none of them have ever broken done.

Apple Maps to the rescue in China/Japan conflict

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Re: @Doug

Doug as much as I agree with your comments on LTE and large screens when you compare what the iPhone5 has to offer in relation to the Samsungs etc it just doesn't make sense to upgrade to the Apple.

Moving from a 4s to a 5 is a minor step when compared with moving from a 4s to a S3 for example.

Apple appear to be playing catch up and the Fanbois keep paying in order to remain 1 or 2 steps behind, where's the logic in that.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: @Sabroni I thing that the low IQ stereotype has several foundations.

Head on over to XDA and you will discover that the Clique of Comnputer Nerds do actually exist.

I am lucky in respect that I can freely choose the phones/smartphones for my job, the company pays. As such I have a Blackberry and an Android.

Blackberry because it is good at what is does on the professional side of things, Corporate Email.

Android because it is good at what is does on the personal side of things.

Apple, I tried for quite some time but just hated that interface. That one button really struck my as being far to basic, I like the idea of several buttons, either hard or soft and Apple does not provide them.

I felt as though the phone was developed for people with a different Modus Operandi, those that look for form before function.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: @Sabroni I thing that the low IQ stereotype has several foundations.

It could be seen as bad by the "geeks and nerds" who want hardcore CLI's, SSH interfaces, task bards multitasking, notification bars, process managers, right-click menus, etc.....

My wife loves the idea that it is simple to use, personally I hate it, .

YMMV and obviously it does.

Khaptain Silver badge

@Sabroni Re: I thing that the low IQ stereotype has several foundations.

Rather than calling someone a pompous buffoon can you please explain what part of

<quote>"this could be seen as good or as bad" </quote>

you didn't understand.

A single web link will WIPE Samsung Android smartphones

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Re: Ouch.

Most of the codes have already been published on XDA but this is the first time that I have of them being integrated into a URL.

Must admit that it would piss me off. I suppose its an advantage that at least we know that it can be done.

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