* Posts by Khaptain

3145 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Craptastic analysis turns 2.8 zettabytes of Big Data into 2.8 ZB of FAIL

Khaptain
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Re: Madra

A little bit of Google would have saved a bit of embarrasement.

The Delta between what you think you know and what you actually know is probably much larger than what you might care to believe .

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Chill out, biz barons... your new IT system might not look like the old one

Khaptain
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IT Angle

IT is not the solution.

Unless we are are talking about digital business I cant for the life of me see how IT will ever bring solutions. Business itself has to bring the solution to the table, IT should only be one of the technical parts of the solution.

Too many business believe that IT is the silver bullet when in fact it is nothing more than one part of a very large puzzle.

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It must be the end of the world... El Reg man thanks commentards

Khaptain
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Re: @x

Je suis toujours decu par les gens intelligents qui ne reconaisse plus leur propre ignorance.

Khaptain signing off.

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Khaptain
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Re: Khaptain

I am not too sure if I understand the question correctly.

But yes I agree tech writers should write about what they know, usually Trevor does exactlly that but it the style in which it is done that I cannot agree with. As an example

Example 1:

I do not offer my clients the same standard white paper solutions that the other consultants offer. My solutions are tailored to the clients needs, I talk to my clients, this is how my company works. I show the clients that my solution is what they need.

Example 2:

One possible solution could entail discussing with the client their particular budget requirements and or conditions that might require the usage of non standard solutions. Where this is necassary solutions exist which although non standard would actually meet the clients needs without overburdening their budget. One such case would bas follows....

Obviously I have exagerated the first example but it is typical of Trevors style, it is all about Trevor and Trevors company and Trevors solution and why Trevor is so much more clever than the other consultants. The second example, again exagerated, would provide the same information but from a neutral view point.

If you run through Trevors longer articles you will understand what I mean. He obviously has a lot of knowledge and experience in his field but always presents it in a very self orientated manner. There is far too much usage of "I", "mine", "me" ..

Good technical writing, in my personal opinion, should not include so much me, me, me. A little is OK but it should never go overboard.

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Khaptain
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Re: I just cant agree

I do not doubt your capacity nor your competence, I honestly believe that you do find solutions for your clients.

What I do not adhere to though is your style of presentation, it is the opposite of modest.

Each of us can blow our own trumpets about solutions that we have implemented that stray a little from the standard but we are simply doing our job.

I really don't understand your arguements about whitepaper solutions, quite often they are all that the client wants or needs.

By offering your client more "exotic" solutions you are actually putting the into a difficult situation because you then become the SPOF. If you are not available then the client would have difficulty in finding someone else that knows, understands and masters the solution. This in itself presents a large risk most notably for small companies.

When I read your articles they sound as much as a sales pitch as anything else, as I have mentioned they do not sound objective. Try going back and reading some of your longer articles you will understand what I mean. This is objective critiscm not personal insult.

Obviously you will only see what you want to see in your own words but try giving a copy of your articles, name removed, and listen to the feedback.

By critising your own work you can only improve. No one cares how good Trevor is but everyone does enjoy reading interesting articles. If you remove the self glory from your writing it would come across much more professionally and would be become much more palatable.

These are my personal thoughts and critisicms, if you prefer not to be critisized just say the word and I will remove all and any of my posts.

Cheer up Trevor, its only El Reg.

Sorry for the spelling, I only have my Galaxy Note today and navigation on longer articles is a pain.

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Khaptain
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Devil

I just cant agree

Trevor is one of those El Reg writers with whom I personally can seldom concur. As a consultant he is seldomly objective and usually full of himself.

But I still continue to read his articles, go figure.

Merry Christmas to all commentards and also to Trevor ... ...... ......

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Dead Steve Jobs' mega yacht seized by testy Philippe Starck

Khaptain
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Dead Steve Jobs

Is there also an "Alive" Steve Jobs.

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Do users have enough power?

Khaptain
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What users dont realise

Giving users more power is like Mercedes or BMW supplying you with a spanner, no user guide and telling you to service the car yourself.

Most users wouldn't even be able to get the engine covers open. For those that did they would then say, shit this not quite as easy as it looks. Those that did bravely use the spanner would quickly destroy the engine.

Those same users would then turn round and complain that Mercedes, BMW produce shit cars.

I wonder if those same users also want to manage the accounting themselves, or the security, or to go out and get new contracts whilst explaining to the client that the IT department is in tatters since they are now managing it for themselves.

Users wanting more power is nothing but ignorance on their own behalf. Many users appear to be in the belief that running an IT department/servcie is the equivalant of installing their own home computer. How f****ing wrong they are..

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Take a number, says new social network

Khaptain
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What's most surprising

Where do these users pop up from.. Is there really an endless number of park benches under which hide these people until such times as "another" social media website opens up ?

Why is there such a large percentage of people with this same requirement. What the fuck went wrong with society....????

Is this the beginning of new Religion ? It's even scarier than the old ones.......

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10,000 Indian government and military emails hacked

Khaptain
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10,000 Indian government and military emails hacked .

10,000 Indian government and military emails were not HACKED. This is just shitty journalism.

There was probably ONE server hacked and that server contains "maybe" the possibilty to change the passwords or read email accounts.

Hacking ONE server really is not the same thing as hacking 10000 email accounts.

Ans no this is not a question of symantics.......

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End of days: Possessed POWERPOINT predicts Mayan Apocalypse

Khaptain
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Big Bang

The world in fact did end and we went through the equivalant of a Big Bang this morning at 07:00 ( GMT +1).

It was a rather non exciting event and the Univeral Counsel has advised us to continue as normal. Apparently he also sent out a PPT which list intructions on how to behave during the next Big Bang.

The Phrase "The End of the World is Nigh" was actually a misconception. What the origianl auther really meant to say was "The End of the World is a NightClub in Thornsbury" but apparetly he had had one too many Mai Tais and didn't actually manage to finish his phrase.

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Boffins cook raw numbers, hope to bake PERFECT kilogram

Khaptain
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Alert

Existential question

Is anything every truly constant ?

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

Khaptain
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Nature has an infinite number of these spectaular creations that never fail to amaze.

Astronomy and deep space research are difficult to grasp or to understand because they are a little "abstract" but here we have something tangible, in your very own back yard if you like,which can be marvelled upon for a lifetime...

The quantity of information held within atoms/molecules/proteins/genes is just unbelievable.

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Japanese firm lifts lid on Android-controlled toilet

Khaptain
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Re: Argh..

That might actually prove to be very popular with the S/M crowd.....

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Khaptain
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Happy

Carefull

Bring on Candid Camera when they have a secondary controller.

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Worldwide LCD price-fixing conspiracy: Another exec guilty

Khaptain
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Consumer payback

When found guilty of price fixing what does the law provide in order to ensure that the consumer can recover his losses ?

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Rude web trolls should NOT be jailed, warns prosecution chief

Khaptain
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Very thin line

I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of a court case where the definition of "Satire" or "Sarcasm" was what held the decision between Guilty and Innocent.

What I perceive as Satire or Sarcasm might be perceived as others as a downright attack. We don't all share a common base in respects to abstract ideas.

Ok, the obvious solution is not to write anything Satirical or Sarcastic but then that would remove a lot of the interest. Can you imagine El Reg without either.....

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McDonalds fried for serving spam

Khaptain
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Re: Bad Parenting and Corporate Greed

The coffee is the one element that they don't produce themselves.

In France and in Switzerland, the coffee is usually supplied/provided/sponsored by one the larger brands, Jacques Favres etc....... So it at least should remain "potable".

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Khaptain
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Bad Parenting and Corporate Greed

Why is MacDonalds advertising legal in the first place. Cigarettes and Alcohol are already banned why is MacDo not in the same categorie.

Obesity is already high up on the "Die young through heart disease", " Diabetes nightmare", "*Colestoral croaking" list .

The trap : Macdonalds is eaten as a snack but it contains as many, or more , calories than a full meal. It doesn't satisfy the appettite for more than an hour and the quantities of sugar create a buzz / withdrawal

symptom ( addiction).

Bad Parenting - some parents are lazy and employ the MacDo method. It avoids them from having to face the responsability of being a parent. Parenting is as much about "teaching" as it is about anything else.

Corporate Greed - MacDonalds have always geared their corporate strategy towards the easilly manipulated - the children.. ( same principals as religion)

PS : Most fast foods can fit into the same category - although not all.

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Ten... tech stocking stuffers

Khaptain
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Coffee/keyboard

I thought it was going to be serious

Ha ha ha ,

Bob Dormon picked 10 completely random tech items, which probably have a decent kickback, threw them onto a webpage and gave the page a title.

A Spyder4 screen calibration tool for photographers........had me rolling about the office floor

A Dlink routeur .................... had the rest of the office rolling about the floor

An Aston Martin mouse ......... we had people coming in from the street to see why everyone had tears in their eyes whilst flailing about wildly on the office floor and they too joined in....

It's wednesday and Bob must have some serious problems coming up with anything original, so we got this............

ha ha ha.

I'm still wiping away the tears as I write

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AFACT wants ushers to confront pirates

Khaptain
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Corporate greed

Why is there no law against "Corporate Greed" which is probably 99% of the real problem.

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Instagram back-pedals in face of user outrage

Khaptain
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Re: can somebody please explain to me what is worth a billion dollars about this

Because someone told the sheep that the grass was sweet in the adjoining field.

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So, you want to get closer to the workers with social media?

Khaptain
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The hidden agenda

Datamining works on employees as much as on anything else.

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New Year's resolution: Don't use Instagram, it'll sell YOUR photos

Khaptain
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Re: Entrusting your photos to Instagram

No it's worse than that.

It's like GIVING the familly jewels to someone you hardly know, that lives somewhere else and considers that the jewels now belong to them.

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Morgan Stanley cops $5m fine over Facebook IPOcalypse

Khaptain
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IT Angle

Impunity - Complete Impunity

We are supposed to live in a democratic and freeworld, well I say bollocks.

These bastards move about their business with almost complete impunity. This is a company that deals in Billions of dollars ( Yes I know that this is not their benefit), $5 Million won't make a ripple in what they are capable of earning.

They manipulate people, figures, business in order to ensure their gains and the money they play with is not theirs to begin with so they can't even lose.

And yet the continue to steal, contrive and cheat whomever they please with complete impunity.. Is this the freeworld that we are supposed to enjoy. No, it's not capitilism either, making money is different from stealing money.

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Shh! Proxima Centauri can hear us!

Khaptain
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Trollface

Re: @Ledswinger

Shit , I though you were talking about "Woody"....

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Khaptain
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Re: Take me to your ... Pope.

Apparently they broadcast an hourly annoncement looking for "lost orphans" that would like to become choirboys ( complete discretion required ).

There is also an annoncement for any extra stellar beings named as "Jesus" or "Mary". It is important that they contact the Vatican immediately as their presence is requested for future fund raising galas. ( The existing ones are running a little low on appeal).

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Forget about fondling that slab... within 2 years, it'll fondle YOU

Khaptain
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Re: Context please

Here is a quite interesting, in context, article from the NY Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/12/weekinreview/12vinciguerra.html?_r=0

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Khaptain
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Facepalm

Re: Leading the way

That all depends on who you have been/are sleeping with.

There is also another thing known as "soap", you would be surprised how efficient it is....

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Khaptain
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Re: Leading the way

The Iphone's farting apps would definately be replaced by "boobie" apps for the Men or "Truck Nuts" if thats your thing.

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Web devs gasp: HTML5 takes big step toward standardization

Khaptain
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Re: I'm not an early adopter...

Is that the release that allows for Rounded Corners in dialog boxes and controls ?

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Review: Eurocom Monster W110ER gaming netbook

Khaptain
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Meh

Re: Alternative uses

Except that most development requries a lot more Screen Real Estate than this.

it's Ok for Notepad++ but not for any of the major dev suites...

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Pentagon hacker McKinnon will NOT be prosecuted in the UK

Khaptain
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Happy

Re: And the moral of this story?

@AC 13:21

That's the first time I have heard an honest comment from someone with experience of Aspergers.

I just wish that more people had the same courage. Well done, Sir, well done.

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Khaptain
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Re: And the moral of this story?

Why the fuck did anyone downvote EDFX, all he did was tell the truth.

If the books were turned round the other way and it was any of your PCs that got hacked, whats the betting you would all be really pissed of. Then just to really piss you off, the police turn up and say sorry we can't do anything the hacker has a difficult to determine syndrome.

I have never been able to believe his bloody story, something feels to damned contrived and fortunate......He was fully aware of what he was doing, how do I know, well he repeated the act on many occasions...That is not just a random chance. The guy loved it or he would never have gone back.......

Whether he was looking for Aliens or not is not the problem. He was hacking, that is a determined act from a determined mind, so what if he was just kiddyscripting, it worked..

If Garry McKininnons suspected Aspergers syndrome is such a problem then why does he have access to a PC and the internet ? What stops him becoming a menace again.

If there is one thing I hate on El Reg it is the bloody PC Brigade.

As Marlon Brando almost once said "The hypocrits......the hypocrits"........

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iPad mini to outsell iPad, get Retina Display? iPad to slenderize?

Khaptain
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Trollface

Re: Synonymous

If you read the rest of the comments you will quickly realise that "no-one" actually gives a toss about 1 Led or 2. It really isn't that interesting except to the "exceptional" geek.

Even the author didn't manage to write one sentence with having a cheap stab at themselves.

I notice that you yourself haven't added anything to the comments other than to complain about someone else, and you call me a troll......pot, kettle, black

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Khaptain
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1894

Either that was that written by his grandfather or George did a historical period novel that was not very popular, lol?

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Khaptain
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Trollface

Re: Synonymous

Let's see:

From the text I doubt you would understand my age. ( There is one clue but I doubt your intelligence would stretch that far)

You are posting as AC, that stands for itself.

I don't really see too much "anger" in what was written, it was more of a cheap "stab".

I don't think that "Everyone else" owns an Apple product and if they would have been addresed correspondingly.

And I guess that you do care, otherwise you would not have taken the time to respond.

You must be one of them little tiny trolls, the insignificant kind, that's an oxymoron really, the ones that haven't learned how to troll on their own yet.... Let me guess you've just learned to hit the keys on your keyboard and amazingly you managed to spawn some drivel....... Well done I felicitate your prowess...

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Khaptain
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Synonymous

This article really does sum up the Apple attitude.( remove the sarcastic subtetly of the article first)....

The Nancy Boys just can't bear it, they haven't had a rumour for almost a week.

How twee.......

PS: Before the PC Brigade get all upset, the expression "Nancy Boys" was first coined by George Orwells' Down and out in London and Paris......

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Grinchy Google to shut down another batch of services

Khaptain
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Linux

????

WTF, do you really believe that Google have a problem paying their staff ?

I actually do pay the labour, indirectly through my usage of Google, multiple Android devices and also through Google Adwords.....

<--Tux because you probably don't agree with Linux being free either.....

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Khaptain
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Gimp

Google obviously don't make money from Calendar Sync, they have not found a method to "inject "the usual publicity..

This will piss me off as I have never found an alternative. There must be a busload full of people that use this, it's the only way to sync the calendar between Outlook and Android.....for free......

Google Apps has to be paid for......thumbs down to google for behaving like twunts....

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Goldman Sachs: Windows' true market share is just 20%

Khaptain
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Re: chemist

@Chemist

Pushing aside a severe lack of subtlety, it is quite obvious that you cannot be considered as being representative of anything but a tiny minortity of computer users.

The majority are what is important here, as it is their computer/application usage that determines the sway of what constitutes as Microsofts future income. There are far more secretaries, spread sheet users, accountants etc in this world than there are Chemists, Physicists etc....

If Microsoft starts to lose market share it will not be because of the people that do jobs such as yours, it will be because IT Managers and CFOs have decided to deploy other solutions to the masses for which they are responsable.

You have dedicated platforms using dedicated software that was probably not developed for the masses. Is that what you consider to be usefull information in relation to a article which concentrates on the majority not the minority.

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Khaptain
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Re: chemist

A number cruncher...,

You have just excluded yourself from larger subset known as the majority.. your vote doesnt count. Sorry.

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Khaptain
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Re: @Trevor

I am sitting at work with three screens (1280 * 3 Wide ) * 1024 High of applications, some of which, the following , of which have no viable Unix/Apple equivalants (Avaya ASA, Business Objects, Visio). I have several VMs open which are usually interfaces to the servers.

These are my standard tools + MS Office Suite, screen real estate still feels limited and users are always crying out for more.

And yet you guys want to say that you can manage to get your work done on Tablets and Non MS systems. What kind of work do you do ? What kind of "work" does anyone do from a tablet ?

It feels as though there a lot of Porkies being thrown about this forum...

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Khaptain
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Thumb Down

Re: @Vic

Which means that they are still being done my MS, the VM is simply an intermediary layer.

That VM requires a licence, a CAL and the usual other MS niceties.

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Khaptain
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Thumb Down

Re: @Trevor

Trevor, that was the worst attempt at a counter argument that I have seen from you for a long time.

Almost everything you wrote was purely anecdotale. Trevor you are falling into a trap, just because you work for yourself as an IT Consultant does not mean that you have any major insight whatsover into the Business World and certainly not the Corporate Business World, it is really beginning to show.

I understand that you have your personal methods of working, you have your own quirks that help you get through the day BUT you do not, and are not, representive of the world at large. Please understand this point, it is vital.

Your articles are becoming more and more about Trevor and less about the common subject , IT.. There is a severe lack of objectivity.

If I were to sum up your long winded post at the beginning of this article I would use the following two words. "Egomaniacal diatribe". That is not meant as an insult, it is merely a personal observation.

Do you actually preach this kind Methodology to your clients ?

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Email is so last century

Khaptain
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Trick question

<Quote>Just how valuable is email to business operations? This is an important question that business and IT people rarely consider.<endquote>

Was this a trick question ?

Depending on the business, Email is the number 2 tool after the ERP. And on some occasions Email is directly linked into the ERP.

It's not a question of importance, it's more of a case that Email is the business.......

Obviously, by business I mean corporate entities, not business such as Cabinet Makers or Key Cutters. ( No offence to either).

I wouldn't even like to begin to estimate how many companies would simply be incapable of BAU if the email server went down... An hour is already a "huge" amount of time for some....never mind days or worse..

It is actually quite ridiculous to compare email to FB or Twitter, they are very different products designed for very different users. Email is an electronic messaging systems ( kind of replaces Ye Olde Worlde hand written personal letter), FB and Twitter are electronic "chatting" systems ( they replace more the Backyard Chatter over the Garden Fence).

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Review: Apple iMac 21.5in late 2012

Khaptain
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Re: When are they going to stop?

@The DVD drive by virtue (or sin) of being mechanical is highly prone to failure

That really was a satirical remark wasn't it. Or are you one of those people that have had 26 DVD drivers fail on you.

Cmon on the last 10 years or so I have never had a DVD drive fail, hard disks on the other hand....and evenit it did fail there are so damned cheap that replacing one really wouldn't be a problem ( except on a 21" inch Mac that has been welded shut)

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Khaptain
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Trollface

Re: THE POWER CABLE WILL COME OUT REGULARLY

This is why Alpha has a mac and not a PC,LinuxBox. He couldn't evben be trusted with inserting the power cable correctly so they had to provide him with soemthing that even granny could use.

I don't really understand the USB problem either, usually you have to apply a little effort to get them out , the USB pins are "spring loaded" which helps retain the connecter. ( I don't know if Spring Loaded is the correct.term).

Alpha you are not supposed to "suspend" usb device from a USB port !!!!! 300 grams or so of 2.5" disk hanging on the end of a cable is a bit too much.

You did RTFM didn't you..

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