* Posts by Khaptain

3254 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Help! I’m trapped inside the Chamber of Hollers

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: He SAYS Leith

I seem to remeber that Leith Docks was not known for being chic....... It was very popular amongst a certain kind of Gentry ansd Sailors.

So, who ought to be the next Doctor Who? It's up to YOU...

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Bill Clinton

Monica as sidekick

Al Gore: Stop using the atmosphere as 'an open sewer

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Re: Don't make me say it!

Turkish speaking about Al Gore:

"What you mean he's fucked, like proper fucked."

Seven all-in-ones that aren't the Apple iMac - and one that is

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: All fugly except the mac

I don't own a Mac, never have, and I don't care for their stuff but I must admit that the Mac is the only good looking piece of kit.

IT staff clamouring to pay for their own BYOD kit, says survey

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70 % of Mobile workers

What percentage of the workforce are "Mobile Workers" ?

Mutton to see here: Chinese dealer offers fondleslabs for sheep

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: "Chinese dealer offers fondleslabs to sheep"

The Sheep have apparently turned down the offer stating that fondleslabs are intended for those much lower down on the evolutionary scale.

Whitehall grants copyright pirates safe haven until 2015

Khaptain Silver badge

No need to pirate any longer

YouTube is providing films and music legally.

Linux et al are providing free software.

YouPorn is providing adult Entertainement for free.

So why bother with a copyright laws.

Will the new laws really help the artists or copyright owners , NO.

Will the new laws really help ailing software companies , NO.

Will the new laws really help Porn Stars to become rich , NO.

So why bother or is this just another excuse to filter content, play at Cyber Nanny and create silly laws that don't benefit those that should. ( The lawyers are the only ones that will gain anything)

Albert Einstein brings cheese and clean pyjamas to space station

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It's quite normal for someone that was brought up on a farm with lots of fishs, geeses and mooses.

Khaptain Silver badge

After a little bit of Google I found that the following was apparently true :

Because the word "craft" is both singular and plural then spacecraft should follow suit.

Craft in this context refers to the floating, flying kind and not the hobby variety.

Airplanes and boats are collectively known as kinds of craft.

Knitting and woodwork are collectively known as crafts.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Serious boffinry angle

Also, can we presume that if you drop your toast, neither the peanut butter nor the unbuttered side will hit the ground.

Network Rail axes hundreds of tech suppliers

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The big 5 will inevitably be doing a lot of subcontracting whilst they "anaylse" and "improve" the existing systems.

Culture Sec: You - Google. Where's the off switch for all this filth?

Khaptain Silver badge

Vicious and futile censorship.

If they want to stop Porn, Paedo Images, Snuff etc it is very easy. All they have to do is turn of the Internet.

It seems sometimes that the ministers et all, want nothing more than to turn the web into a Shopping Mall.

Apple claims shot in arm for Cupertino from new Fruit Loop HQ

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Insert ring jokes

Isn't "ring" a synonym for arsehole.

So effectivelly , Apple have created the largest arsehole in the world and everyday it's employees will be coming and going into said orifice.

Microsoft parades Windows 8.1, the version you may actually want

Khaptain Silver badge

Microsoft said that they had listened to their customers, oh really

Don't tell me someone at Microsoft actually thought that when people referred to the, lack of the "Start Button", that they actually took that phrase literally.

It would be interesting to know just how many downloads were made for StartMenuClassic et all.

Thirty-five years ago today: Space Invaders conquer the Earth

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Re: Back in the day...

Two gamers were an instant hit at our local pub,

Space Invaders and Defender.

Both of those machines took a "thumping", fortunately they were solidly built machines.

Boffins build gesture recognition using WiFi

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Re: Reg video still doesn't work in chrome

Depends what you mean by doesn't work. In both IE and Chrome I can see the video window, I can click on the play button and then all I see is the swirly animated gif that looks as though the video is being downloaded but it never arrives.

Or don't you see anything at all ?

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Gesture me THIS


I think it is the same as the CTRL-ALT-BackSpace gesture that the Linux users use ;-) It is usually followed by the vocalisation "Oh FFS".

The detection of the "Oh FFS" is much easier than than flailing of arms and the kicking of anything inanimate.

Microsoft touts business features of Windows 8.1

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Thats it Luke, let the hatred flow through you...


The enterprise featureas are a +"Nice to Have" list of things.

But what everyone really wants is the damned start menu back to what is was and at least to give us the choice to use TIFKAM or not.

Windows 8 is probably ready from an "administrators" point of view it is not ready from the "Users" point of view. This is an OS that has been desinged for touch screen computing, how many office workers do you know that have touch screens ?

It's not hatred, it's frustration, two very different things. We want a new OS just not this one.

Smut-for-Glass app suffers premature ejection

Khaptain Silver badge

Not really an app

It's just a poor excuse to gain traffic for their pr0n site.

They even list "El Reg" in their "As featured on" list.

Unemployed? Ugly? Ugh, no thanks, says fitties-only job website

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The Arianistic approach.

They can call it what they want but I don't see the difference between this and a form of Arianism, selective breeding for selective tasks.

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell even Kim bloody Dotcom etc were/are anything but good looking, they all managed to do quite well.

Twitter, Facebook are 'a MENACE to society', says Turkey's PM

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Re: "the worst menace to society"

That article is indeed interesting and well written.

Khaptain Silver badge

"the worst menace to society"

Of course it is a menace , the last thing that he wants is for the people to remain together and actually communicate. From what I have understood this guy is a radical who is extremely unpopular with the secular Turks.

Obviously he belongs to the conquer and divide group of dictators leaders.

He was voted in democratically so it is not easy to take a position either way.

Fear the Embarrassing Bodies webcam

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Re: Big testicles you say?

This video gives a whole new meaning to "One swift kick to the balls".

Ubuntu's Shuttleworth: Microsoft no longer dominates PC biz

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Re: Wikipedia shows a completely different story.

I am quite sure that a lot of business wouldn't agree with that remark.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: More traction...

It's not just the applications, it is also all of the appropriate drivers, hardware compatibility, support that is required. It is the entire eco system that has to be be ready, available and capable of providing exactlly what the business wants.

MS Windows is a lot more than just a desktop operating system. It is also the servers, the applications, the usability, the familiarity, the print spoolers etc etc etc .

I don't believe that Linux will ever replace windows but I do believe that a spinoff like Android or similar might.

Khaptain Silver badge

Wikipedia shows a completely different story.

Strange, Wikipedia shows a 1.21% for Linux, 6.99% for Apple and pretty much all the rest is MS.

OK, Wikipedia is not an almight being and probably doesn't have exact details but I am sure that it won't be far from the truth.

So what/where are the figures to back up Shuttleworths remarks ?

Microsoft's Windows 8.1 secrets REVEALED ... sort of

Khaptain Silver badge


>A giant screen full of applications and documents is pretty intuitive

I would consider a giant screen full of applications very counter productive. It takes too long to find things, scanning a screenfull of icons is a nightmare when looking for a seldomly used program

This is one of the areas in which the original start menu was excellent and still is. Neat, short alphabetical listings/folders are far easier to scan.

Regardless the point still remains that MS should give us a choice, TIFKAM or the original Start Menu, then everyone would be happy.

Khaptain Silver badge

Listening to customers -- What a joke

How many of those customers asked for a Proxy start menu ?

FFS there are million so users that are used too and love the traditional Start Menu. WTF can't they actually listen to the millions rather than listen to marketing bods.

This who Touch Screen crap is becoming a f****ing joke. Mice and Keyboard are fine,

Corporates don't want/need touch screens and corporates are where the money really lies, because they are the biggest users of MS Office ( Office is the real money spinner).

W7 is fine, so I will remain here until this shit all fizzles out.

( PS : I have W8 on a secondary machine but it still pisses me off 6 months down the line, I am not being stubborn I just don't find the interface as productive as W7)

Drupal hacked, resets passwords after millions of accounts exposed

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Re: Are there really ....

I agree, I don't understand the figures. There might be Millions of people using Drupal but Millions on their website seems quite dubious.

Kettle 'which looks like HITLER' brews up sturm in a teacup

Khaptain Silver badge

Snake oil or Marketing cream

Cover up the Hitler picture with your hand and just look at the kettle, what do you see : A Kettle.........

Windows 8.1 Start button SPOTTED in the wild

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Give us the damned choice

They started by ramming TIFKAM down our throats.

Now they would gently like to nudge it donw our throats.

Why not simply give us the choice, TIFKAM OR the Start Menu ( aka W7 Start menu).The half arsed approach never works.

Microsoft tops list of software piracy nailed in UK by FAST

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: @AC 13:27


Linux Distro ( Which one there are thousands to choose from also blank DVDs, USB Sticks cost money. If you get stuck whilst installing you are on your own. By not knowing how to pass the correct parameters to Grub for your graphics card you will be treated as a complete noobie on any Linux forums. They won't help but they do sneer. Professional Pyschological treatment is expensive and you will need several sessions.

GIMP : Shouldn't take any more than 3 years to learn the basics. It's the kind of software that you will use only after being tied to a tree and beaten with a big stick. You will need to stock up on plenty of toilet paper/tissues. It will have you shitting and crying in next to no time.

Libre Office : Welcome to the 1990s, it makes MS Office 95 feel modern. You will never again feel Hip and Cool. You will have to rush out and buy yourself a "beard". You will lose your friends and your parents will no longer send you files, they will say things like "WTF is ODF". You will be relegated to solitary confinement at the end of the garden.. You will end up buying expensive copies of the "survivalist guide to Linux and office for the poor".

TCO : You will become bald, tearing your hair out as soon as a LIB is out of sync or between deciding with Desktop Manager Thingy to use for the day.... Hair replacement is more expensive than MS Windows.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: But...

>What does an ROI mean on no outlay?

It's a bit like winning the Loto without having had to buy a ticket. ( If I correctly understood the logic)

Tim Cook: Wearable tech's nice, but Google Glass will NEVER BE COOL

Khaptain Silver badge


"ripe for exploration".

Shouldn't that read "Exploitation."

Anonymous 'plonks' names, addresses of far-right EDL types on web

Khaptain Silver badge

How about diasplaying a list of Anonymous's members and telephone numbers as well.

62,000 fewer shops: Welcome to the High Street of 2018

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Great news for the Taxman ( not)

Yes, you are correct, I was thinking in terms of the Multinationals, Amazon, Ebay, Google etc which are the online crowd.

And yes effectively the Starbucks, Applse, MacDonalds ( The high street crowd) etc are probably pulling of the same stunts.

The importance being that the International nature of these business allows them to exploit the loopholes

'Secret Pentagon papers' show China hacked into Patriot missile system

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Really?

>Anything classified above Confidential certainly wouldn't have been on a machine connected to a public network

Were there any Chinese engineers/students working in your department back then. Today you might find that there are......

Firewall can't protect from attacks from within..

PC market facing worst-ever slump in 2013

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Naah, its market saturation


If it were market saturation would the prices not normally fall ? Which I do not believe is currently the case.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: @Khaptain (Windows 8)

For those that know the difference ( The El Reg crowd), they would simply uninstall and reinstall system of choice.

For those that don't know ( Typical Joe Punter types), they would continue to buy anyway.

In other wordds:

Those that know about PCs don't have to worry about the OS, others are usually too uninformed to care.

That's it is why I do not believe the W8 is the influential factor.


Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Windows 8

I doubt if Windows 8 is the cause,it is more of a victim of circumstance. I would say though, that it happened to come along at the same time as a major recession, at a time when tablets and smart phones were reaching maturity and in which the non-power users realised that a PC was overkill in relation to their real needs.

W8 is also on the, "I hate Windows Cycle" ( every second version) and it was developed for touch screens so it shouldn't really have any influence over the non touch screen market.

Business is also extending refresh from 3 years to 4 years for financial reasons, PCs now have far more power than office workers require, XP is still fine for business, so there are fewer reasons to upgrade ( that's what the bean counters want anyway).

PC sales are failing because there has been a paradigm shift in what users currently use/require. It's called evolution.

Warming: 6°C unlikely, 2°C nearly certain

Khaptain Silver badge

Solution to global warming is easy

All that is required is to create an economic system that does allows the Rich to remain rich without the requirement of a continually expanding society ( ie Bye Bye Capitalism).

Imagine the impact on the environment of the world population was reduced to 2 Billion within the next 50 years.

We honestly do not need to expand eternally and we don't need to deploy drastic solutions to reduce the populations, we simply need to educate people and ensure that every remains fed. The chinese "one baby" solution is not such a bad idea if only it could be done in a manner which avoids system abuse .

The real pollution is the quantitiy of "Human Beings" on the earth. Scientists and politicians need to stop looking anywhere else. We are eating up and using/abusing all of the earths natural resources at an alarming rate, what else did anyone expect as an outcome.

First 'adult' app for Google Glass planned 'within days'

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Chat roulette just got scarier!

>augmented reality nudifier

The TSA and major airports have been using them for quite some time already. Unfortunately for the security agents they see what people actually look like.

Symantec retires low-end security software

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Security begins at the keyboard

Unfortunately, I agree with what you are saying.

I don't know how many of the major AV providers can actually protect from the RansomWare, personally I wouldn't like to do the test. We use Macafee at work and it doen't catch all the Ransomware either.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: The best way to keep your system stable

If MS supply an A/V - the others shout "Anti Trust"..

If MS do not supply an A/V - the other others shout "Insecure System".

It's a "Lose Lose" situation for MS.

Personally I hate the alternative solutions, popups, PITA updates, cost..

Security begins at the keyboard, the OS is the second line...

The Tomorrow People jaunt back to the airwaves

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Waiting for a reboot of...

Can we also have the "Clangers". In this day and age of recycling they would be perfect.

Lenovo planning US smartphone push as PC sales stall

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Presumably they will be black with an excellent keyboard, I'll have one please.

Forget the word 'cyberwar' says Marcus Ranum

Khaptain Silver badge

Goodbye to the Cybers

Cyber war is about the capacity to rid the other side of their Cybers. If you are not a Cyber then you have nothing to worry about.

Cybers and Cyberling should not panic, they should mearly head off to the closest Cyber shelter where they will be cared for by the RSPC. ( Royal Society for the Protection of Cybers)

Apple cored: Samsung sells 10 million Galaxy S4 in a month

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Fanboi Mania - difficult to understand, from either camp

Oops that should have been :

What are the premises ( instead of why)..... I was too late to hit the edit button..

Khaptain Silver badge

Fanboi Mania - difficult to understand, from either camp

Something I have never really understood is why anyone, other then business, even care about how many phones were sold by Apple, Samsung or Nokia.

I, personally, find it a little bit off-putting knowing that I currently possess the 1st, 2nd or 3rd best selling phone on the market. Kind of makes me feel like a brainless sheep.....

Why are the premises that leave people being "proud" that they have the same phone as 50 Million other people ?

More than half of Windows 8 users just treat it like Windows 7

Khaptain Silver badge


Third party applications are fine but not for something as essential as the start menu. It is one of those elements that you really want to be "perfectly" integrated.

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