* Posts by Khaptain

3223 posts • joined 4 May 2008

New in Android 4.3: At last we get a grip on privacy-invading crApps

Khaptain Silver badge

Google Switch

Is there also a BIG button which can be used to stop the phone/addressbook/browser/etc from phoning home to Google with user stats.

Deadly Spanish train disaster exploited by malware mail scumbags

Khaptain Silver badge

Major tabloids no better

I have never bought a tabloid newspaper for exactly the same reason. The people that exploit these situations are no worse that those that consume it....

Guinness: Have a quick bonk over the bar and receive FREE BEER

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: To the Tavern!

Real men don't wear iPhones.....

but they do drink these ------>>>>>>>

London Mayor shows off GIANT BLUE COCK in busy square

Khaptain Silver badge

Frenchy stuff coming up

Just to let you know, the standard joke in France relating to the "Why the cock is the national symbol".

Because it is the only animal, that even while standing both feet in the shit, continues to sing.

Et maintenant en Francais

"Parce que c'est le seul animal qui, même quand il a les pieds dans la merde, continue à chanter."

MYRA HINDLEY found working in Capita's benefits & revenues unit

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: So basically

It's Friday, the El Reg hacks are tired and it's almost Pub o'Clock.

Indian military pondered attack on Venus and Jupiter

Khaptain Silver badge

Don't the planets "fly" slightly slower than UFOs and also represent a much larger masse.? ( Deathstar not included)

Also, the military must have some major doubts about their radar detection in order to mistake a planet for an "invador".....

I can imagine the pilots reaction when realising that his target was approxiamtely 750 000 000 million kms away. "Base, I don't think that our heatseekers are up to the job, we will need something a little bit more interstellar, returning to base".

Android 'Master Key' DEMON APPS sniffed out in China

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: At the rish of being downvoted into Oblivion

<quote>AFAIK, having the master keys mean that each and every Android device is open to being attacked. Changing the keys would be next to impossible (AFAIK).</quote>

They are not open to attack UNLESS the user installs some dodgy software from bad sources.

HOWEVER, should any of this software end up on the Google Play Store then that really could be a nightmare. ( I am thinking repackaged Angry Birds or whatever the next fad game will be)

Swisscom chief dead in apparent suicide

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Always on culture

It is far too early to know the real reasons for the suicide, I presume that within the next few weeks we will learn about some stealing, cheating, sordid affairs etc etc .that he was involved in......

There have been a few high profile cases recently in Switzerland and I can't imagine that this will be any different.

William Hill should start taking bets on the real reason, it would be far more interesting than taking bets over a baby's name.

One month on, Edward Snowden cleared to leave Moscow airport

Khaptain Silver badge

Oportunity knocks

I wonder if he managed to snaffle any of the Russians secrets during his stint in the airport ?

Boffins: Dolphins call each other NAMES. Not RUDE ones!

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: to see if the named fish responded?


For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.

But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.


Douglas Adams knew a long time ago that Dolphins were very special.......

E-shopkeepers stabbed with SQL needles 'twice' as much as other sites

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Politician's 'perfect 'solution for a 'perfect world'

Looks like someone posted to the wrong forum......

Or was it the word "injection" that got you going.....

Nokia flops out its 4G, 4.7-inch WHOPPER: The Lumia 625

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Some daring

Buck Futter,

You must belong to that strange minority that doesn't try new gadgets with your gloves on............especially the sheepskin mitten variety......when they are wet and slightly frozen.......

My God lad, don't you do an UAT.

Symantec snaps up PasswordBank, touts SSO logins to biz

Khaptain Silver badge

Corporate Policy

Our Corporate Policy requires password to be changed quite often and on a regular basis. I used an SSO for a few weeks and i found it to be more of a PITA than storing my passwords in Keepass.

I have been a heavy Keepass user for years and I think i will remain that way.

I wonder how far Symantec can be trusted these days, Passwords "backed up" in the cloud........the word trust does not spring to mind..

Oi, Google, you ate all our Wi-Fi keys - don't let the spooks gobble them too

Khaptain Silver badge

Don't forget Cisco + Linksys

I think it will be safe to assume that Cisco + Linksys have also been pwned by the NSA several years ago. This would give the PRISMERATI a nice direct access to your home equipment...

PHWOAR! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, Prime Minister

Khaptain Silver badge

Technically Literate Children

Children have endless amounts of imagination and lots of time on their hands. They will persue the web endlesssly looking for ways to circumvent these kinds of restrictions, sloqwly but surely they will find the method/program/proxy etc etc . When they do find the circumvention method they will then spend hours circulating that information to other children.......

During this time dear old Mater and Pater are completely oblivious and feel quite smug that their children are apparently protected from the "horrors" of the web.

Never treat children like fools, they will show you up every time...... Imagination is far more powerfull that any lock will ever be...

Khaptain Silver badge

One end is for the computer, the other is for the wall, if you mix them up your data will flow the wrong way.

Ubuntuforums.org cracker promises no password release

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: He's still a tool.

The chuch and the slaughterhouse are equal targets, the principal remains the same. Once you are throught the locked gates however what you do with the "swag" is very important.

There is no point in saying that Sputn1ck was wrong because it does not change the fact that the deed has been done. It is far more imoportant to discuss what can be done in order to prevent further replication or how to avoid making the swag worthwhile.

SkyDrive on par with C: Drive in Windows 8.1

Khaptain Silver badge

Ironic, you start of by calling everyone grumpy ol bastards then you proceed to demonstrate what's not good about SkyDrive.

By the way, did you actually read the article, SkyDrive will become the "default drive", in other words it's not a backup device at that moment, it becomes your "principal" and therefore "unique" copy of whatever file you are working on......

And pray tell, what solution is available to you when SkyDrive goes titsup..

Khaptain Silver badge

That damned cloud again

If the wisdom of MS is pushing us towards the cloud, we would probably be far better of using ChromeOS, at least it was written intentionally for the cloud.

MS are treading on very thin ice, if it breaks they will sink......

Secret ROYAL BABY birth VIDEO leaked! (And other malware scams)

Khaptain Silver badge

Carefull don't go dumping all of your dead bodies in the same bag.

The English might have an obsesssion for the royalty, I am not so sure that any else really cares.

The Scottish : Well the queen owns some nice property but thats about it as far as the Scots are concerned.

The Irish ( Northern Irish), have a very split idea of things.......touchy subject depending on your faith ;-)

The Welsh - I dont have the foggiest idea what they think, although I can imagine that they don't benefit very much from the Royal Entourage either....

The term "British" is actually a very vague term.... It all depends on the subject whether or not it concerns everyone that lives on the island(s).

Khaptain Silver badge

Scam Titles

I am sure that the El Reg readership could come up with some interessting title for the scamware emails.

Example :

* Duchess of Cambridge bares her finest asset whilst giving birth.

* Is the baby bald or has the Duchess just had a brazilian.

* The Duchess of Cambridge in stirrups, as you have never seen her before.

et cetera....

How do you drive a supercomputer round a Formula 1 track?

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Pffft, can anything on google maps these days :D

When you are tripping, geographical location has no relevance :-)))))

<---- Mines the Techni-Coloured Dream Coat....

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Pffft, can anything on google maps these days :D

The above link translates to approxiamtely 6.4 miles north of woodstock.... wonder if it was initially developed by some aging hippies trying to determine the maximum speed at which a joint could be successfully lit..

Verity's summer songs for programmers: Sing your pals to sleep()

Khaptain Silver badge

In memory of Steve Ballmer

To the tune of L. Cohen - Hallelujah)

Now I heard there was a secret code.

That a monkey typed and it pissed the Lord.

But you dont really care for good code do ya.

He typed and he flailed

Till the compiler failed

He smashed his screen and he threw his chair

and the stressed out Steve he cried out loud

I hate computers , I hate computers,

I hate computers , I hate computers.........

WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Khaptain Silver badge

No need to ban porn

Wouldn't it just be easier for Mr Cameron to ban "people" or ban wanking..

Porn is after all just another form of escapism, so I presume that instead of Porn people will start turning to other less welcome practices....

There are no real politics today, a lot of knee jerking but no thinking. No one seems to go behind the scenes in order to try and understand why Porn has such a following. Wasn't porn initially created for/by the Gentry....( Paedophilia might be a different cup of tea, I honestly don't know).

Think about the children : Doesn't that phrase just make you cringe..........

Spotify: If musicians don't give us their stuff they get pirated more

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Adventures in the Netherlands


I understand what you are getting at but the difference in this case is this it is not me that is doing the Piracy. It's a bit like listening to the radio in the morning, I have no idea if the Radio Station pays for the music it plays, I presume that it does but I honestly do not know. YT is exactly the same, I have no way to know whether the video was payed for, whether it is the artist themselves that put it online, whether it is pirated or not etc etc .. I can only presume that it was put there legally.

Google ( YT) provide a service , for ( almost) free.. Why should I not use it.

Khaptain Silver badge

Adventures in the Netherlands

Just the title of the report gets the mind wondering about what you are about to read. ( don't worry it's SFW)...

I only perused a 10 or so pages, 26 pages of Spotify, MusicMetrics publicity is not for me .

What I did retain though was the fact that MusicMetrics did not include YouTube in their analysis which, in my opinion, severly sways the balance. In the last 2 years or so I have never before seen such a large quantity of music available on YT.

I am not an audiophile, so I don't really care about bitrate or codec quality, what this means is that Youtube is absolutely perfect for me and probably another couple of hundred millions other viewers/listeners.

I don't need to pirate anything, I don't need to pay Spotify, it's a freetards wet dream.....

French boffins: Regard, our record-breaking long, fat, wet pipe

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Not if

Thank <deity> that I live on the continent..

Why is this such a big issue with the Brits anyway? Are there more peado bears in GB than anywhere else. Are the majority really that shocked about porn ?

Or is this just shit politics bearing down upon an ignorant public...

Microsoft's earnings down on slow Windows sales, Surface RT bust

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Sniff!

Andy, let me adjust your phrase, just slightly

These days Steve IS doing all kinds of "unnovating" and "misdesigning" and "incompetence".

Chipzilla gives computers the finger with gesture acquisition

Khaptain Silver badge


<quote> its faith that world+dog wants nothing more than a computer they can wave at </quote>

It would be interesting to learn just how many "world+dog" actually equals...

I can understand people that have 5 metre interactive screens, think Jeff Fahey + Lawnmower Man or Tom Cruise + Minority Report, might require this functionality but "world+dog" don't really have the need or the requirement.

However, I am sure that there must be other usages for example: a warehouse person guiding an industrial robot ( modern fork lift), a steel industry worker moving molten lava about the shop floor ( at a distance)etc .... I presume that the army already have some nefarious ideas as well..

Google teases hush-hush Android event on July 24

Khaptain Silver badge


This actually be the announcement of the official PRISM version. It's ths one in which you must first ask for clearance from our USA "friends" who then authorise or not your calls/application usage.....

On the other hand the article mentioned, Android has not been updated for at least 5 months... That really is an eternity to wait for "not a lot at all". From ICS to JB there was a severe lacking of "newness", "originality", "usefull"..

I think that the OS in itself can't really stretch out much further now, Android and IOS have come a long way, they are already very mature : what we need is seem cool hardware. It would be nice to see bendy phones, fold-out phones that can work at A7, A6, A5, A4 sizes, "long" battery lives, quick recharges ( 15 minutes from empty to full).

The OS revolution is mature we need to concentrate our efforts elsewhere. ( The last thing that we want is what has happened to Windows, Linux - TIFKAM, Unity etc are dying attempts at adding something new)..... To be fair various Linux distros let us choose alternatives....

From Russia with no love: Prez Putin dubs Ed Snowden 'unwanted gift'

Khaptain Silver badge

Snowden is living proof that it is not worthwhile being honest.

The US are not honest with its people, they don't seem to be too worried.

The UK are not honest with its people, they don't seem to be too worried.

Snowden was honest, he is now "Extremely" worried......

I can easilly imagine though that he thought that he was doing the right thing at the time ........Sheremetyevo will never be the same again....

Radiohead's Thom Yorke pulls his own music off Spotify

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Spotify

I think it is more important to know how much Spotify actually took in and then deduct what was paid out...

500 Million sounds like a lot but it depends entirely on

* how many different bands it was paid out to

* How the pay outs are calculated - Do young bands get the same pecentages as U2 for example

* Over what period were the monies paid out.

* How much did spotify earn... HOW MUCH !!!!!!!!

* Who else is paid outside of the bands. ( promoters, agents, publicity etc ).

UK.gov fines itself harshly for hurling NHS records to the winds

Khaptain Silver badge

Sperate dealings

Tha hard disks should be removed from the comptuers "before" the computers they leave the hospital.

These disks should then be handled by "validated" security firms that are capable of destroying/wiping the disks correctly.

This is a failure on behalf of the NHS management: in this day and age any manager above a certain level definately should have enough savvy to know the risks involved and the appropriate measures that should be taken. If he does not then he is obviously in the wrong position.

You do not have to be a IT expert to know that confidential data is confidential data.

Sysadmins: Everything they told you about backup WAS A LIE

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: But who gets it in the neck?

Pete, I understand completely what you are saying, if a counterarguement is required it all boils down to "finance".

The accounting departments has requested that 1 Tb of data "must" be backed up every day ( theri choice no yours). Ok, no problem the price of Disks/Tapes/Hardware will be X per year.

My role as the IT Guy is to also say to them that maybe the alternative is to back up only a subset of that data. ( Everything else can be archived) In such a case only 20Gb of data will be backed up daily, ther cost will be Y per year. Will be be lower if you are carefull. You gain not only in in cost but also in backup time ( this is important when problems arise), in recovery time ( vital for the DRP scenarios- get them up and running quicker). BUT it "must" be the Accounts department which make the decision as to which data is vital and which it not.

The bean counters understand figures far better than technology.

Khaptain Silver badge

Some extra points

* Ask yourself : How will I cope with vendor lock-in.

* What is backed up is the reponsability of the data owner not the IT Department. Are the other departments aware of the costs/time involved. Ask them to reconsider what they need compared to what they want.

* Add the time it take to bring the Offsite backup tapes "Onsite" into the restoration SLA.


* Inform people when backups fail - it is after all their data..

* ALWAYS have more than one backup media ( hard disks + Tapes ) example - Hard disks Onsite + Tapes Offsite.

* Ensure that new Network Shares are added to the backup selection....

* Have you tested restoring your back up tapes on another Site / hardware / Server. If your building and your hardware are completely destroyed you will be glad that you can recover your data elsewhere.

Apple builds flagship store on top of PLAGUE HOSPITAL

Khaptain Silver badge

High Fives no longer.- Whoop , Whoop

As you pass by the door just after purchasing the latest iGadget you wil no longer get a Whoop, Whoop with a high five.

Instead an iNurse will swipe with you a swab and an iDoctor will inject your some with some iRemedy to protect against Whooping Cough.

Ubuntu 13.10 to ship with Mir instead of X

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Fragmentation

And somewhere far away, a certain Mr Balmer was thinking along the same lines.

<-- Coincedence or irony, both Tux and Ballmer are bald.

China prepares to lift 13-year game console ban – report

Khaptain Silver badge

Difficult to believe

What kind of game lasts 13 years ?

Up yours, Google! Iran to launch OWN state email service

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Look over there!

Let us not forget the immortal words :

"Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose".

Windows kernel bug-squish, IE update star in July Patch Tuesday

Khaptain Silver badge

That all depends if you are bigger thatn the guy that is on shift. ( And hopefully he doesn't have axe wielding tendencies)

Acer Iconia W3: The first 8-inch Windows 8 Pro tablet

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Too late to market

@MMeir - Couple of points

W8 is a new product, and tablet PCs are not Tablets, they were not designed for the same market. The Tablet PC was designed for business, tablets were designed initially for the public at large.

The AppStore for MS is brand new, with few apps, compared to Apple or Google.

Handwriting is not the major reason that most people will buy a tablet. They want to surf the web, consume content, look at cat photos etc

If "all" it needs is a 10" Screen and a Wacom Pen then that is a major FAIL from the word go.

By the way I have been using a Note for the last 18 months and it fits nicely in a suit/jacket pocket.

Apple have the Wow factor.

Google have the Geek factor.

MS have ( well they don't actually have any factor for the moment.)

Khaptain Silver badge

Too late to market

MS are coming into a very, very mature market with mediocre products and nothing new to offer.

It means yet another ecosystem for the end user. ( More accounts to create, yet another payment method to hand over etc etc) .

I can't see what MS have to offer that is better than what the existing market already has. Why would anyone be enticed to move over, there is no pride about owning a tablet or having the latest OS, that just doesn't cut mustard anymore..

The tablet Fad has come and is just about ready to board the "end of life train". Have a look on the train/bus in the morning and what do you see. One or two people with uncomfortable sized tablets. Everyone else is punching heartly away on the pocket sized smartphones.....

I think the market will remain in the 4,5,6 inch smartphone size. They fit in the pocket/handbag and are very capable devices. They are actualy useable...

It would be nice if someone would invent a folding smartphone that was ergonomique and seemless. ( Whatevwer happened to the bendy ones


HTTP 2.0 interop tests slated for August

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Why the Internet clusterfucks

<quote>Honestly, the best way to speed up web pages is to block advertisers and web bugs. Google is the problem, not the solution.</quote>

Google itself is not the problem, after all they only exist because people want to advertise their products.

Rather than say Google is the problem I would be more inclined to say that "Commercialisation" on a whole is the problem. Example: If Google were to collapse tommorrow would they be replaced by another advertising company, of course they would.

I for one would be quite happy to pay a small fee ( 5 Euros per month) for a non-commercial internet...

Microsoft to ship Windows 8.1 in 'late August'

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Program manager was available on WIn 95

@AC 08:56

Before mentioning other people's "drivel" please re-read your own post..... It is quite revealing.

Khaptain Silver badge

Have you ever even considered for a moment that some of us are simply quite comfortable/happy/find it usefull/ mange quite well with the existing start menu.

TIFKAM wasn't made for the desktop and I don't have a touch screen on any of my computers, 2 at work and 4 at home, so it is not just a case of "getting over it".

W8 does offer other advantages but the change in the interface makes for a major pain .......

Choice would have been nice and no "Classic Start" is not choice, it is a workaround....

By the way, it is not the Start Button that is the problem it is the Start Menu or lack of.

OFFICIAL: Humans will only tolerate robots as helpful SLAVES

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Sex Slave Robots FTW!

Hopefully someone, not another robot, had taken the time to ensure that no "sharp" edges had be forgotten about.

Apple: Ta for blowing £££s on apps, fanbois. Now we've set them FREE

Khaptain Silver badge

Hence the golden rule :

Never buy today that which will be cheaper tommorrow.

(You can save yourself a fortune with that little proverb.)

Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

Khaptain Silver badge

Cochon brûlé

I can't think of many things as bad as burnt Fanny..

Sorry, but that just had to to be said......

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019