* Posts by Khaptain

3214 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Open source project gives cars the Ikea treatment

Khaptain Silver badge

Return to the 70s

That looks an awful lot like a moon buggy, I had a toy one as a kid. With the plans I can now build my own, who knows, today my back yard, tommorrow the moon.......

(Cmon a man has to dream as well you know)

Foot-loving cat burglar nicks THREE THOUSAND individual socks

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Alternative title

Purring panty purloining pussy pilleged peoples pedes protectors

Staffs Police face data protection probe over 'drink drivers named' Twitter campaign

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Is that like revenge porn for Alcoholics ?

Furtive ebook readers push Hitler's Mein Kampf up the charts

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Re: re: Khaptain


The Smart ones probably wrote it.

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It's normal that one would get funny looks -

By the very definition of "smart" ( intelligence, acumen), smart people don't need a bible.

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The inside story

Mein Kampf is an insight into who the man was, whether he was a devil or an angel is irrelevant, it is, and should remain an important part of history. ( Those who ignore the past are more likely to repeat it)

The question that should arise is "WHY" an increasing amount of people become interested.

Also, I think it would be a worse thing if there was no longer any interest in this kind of literature.

Light, fast ... and pricey: Toshiba's Portégé Z30 – now THIS is an Ultrabook

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>1366 x 768

>Yes, here at Vulture Central we're very much aware that many of you will have decided not to read further than that last sentence

Yup, you got that right. Whats the point, YouTube at 144p

Coffee a memory enhancing drug, say boffins

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I go through phases of drinking gallons of the stuff per day and others where I drink almost none.

Result : my memory is still a shambles whether I drink coffee or not.

I wonder who the sponsor behind this message really was ?

Pre-Xmas phone numbers: Apple slips, Windows Phone grabs 1 in 10 new sales

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Re: Credibility = none


You do know what the concept of "product placement" means ?

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Credibility = none

MS's strongpoint was the desktop.

Nokia's strongpoint was the Cellphone.

The public at large, don't care about either anymore, so MS + Nokia have nothing really left to offer in this market. Neither of them offer any "streetcred" which is what people want/need ( Yes, it's pathetic but that is the result of endless years of adverstising).

MS + Nokia + Smartphone market = A drowning horse flailing about in a sea of modicum...

US Navy trials GIANT ROBOTIC SPYBIRD for coastal patrols

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Re: The UK should sign up now

Two songs come to mind, both by Bob Dylan

1 : Maggie's Farm

2 : Hard rains gonna fall.

Thought the toilet camera was weird? Try actual thumb flash drives from tech's supershow

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Re: Thumbs up!

Culbuter in French has several meaning.

The slang version, which is quite common, means to "have sex, f**k, etc". Quite appropropriate given the shape of the "toy".

Block The Pirate Bay? Arrr, me hearties, new P2P client could sink that plan

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Mother of all invention.

A few of these for the TPB guys , they must be working their asses of at this moment in time----->>>>>>

Amazon, Hollywood, Samsung: PLEASE get excited about 4K telly

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It still won't entice me to buy a Television ( or a huge screen).

What's needed is quality films not quality screens.

4K should have been named 4C whereby C = consumerism. .....

Do people really feel "immersed" just because of the size of the screen ? Even at the cinema I don't get that impression.

Dell confirms Chromebook for Blighty

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Re: a token offering meant to be ugly?


It is the Corei5 vesion with a 256Gb flash disk and I stand corrected for the price, according to XE.com it about 4 times the price ( taxe inclusive). It also includes the docking station...ooops forgot to mention that.

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Re: a token offering meant to be ugly?

I just received a XPS11 this morning, lovely little machine, the touch screen makes W8 usable BUT the price is nowhere near the £300, more like 5 times that price.

The machines in this article should not be confused with the XPS laptops which are in a different ballpark.

Pervy TOILET CAMERA disguised as 'flash drive' sparks BOMB SCARE on Boeing 767

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Re: More training needed?

This is exactly the state that the Governments want the people to be in - a constant state of fear....

The bible bashers did it for long enough and it seemed to work for them.

Snowden to warn Brits on Xmas telly: Your children will NEVER have privacy

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Definition required

Can someone please define privacy before getting involved in a debate.

Is it the right to remain anonymous whilst doing something legal.

Is it the right to remain anonymous whilst doing something illegal.

The NSA, GCHQ are doing what they have always done, it just seems that now most people actually hand them their details on a plate. You want Facebook et al to remain free, Ok no problem but there is a price to pay.

The internet does not force you to do anything that you don't want to do. If you want privacy; don't do anything in public. The internet is after all very much a public affair..

This is a debate that could go on for ever but at the end of the day each person is responsable for his own acts.

Android, Chromebooks storm channel as Windows PC sales go flat

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Re: I don't get it

Macbooks look great but they are expensive, most consumers don't understand RAM, SSD, GHz, Pixels etc all they understand is the end price. Either they can afford it or they can't. There really is not a lot more to understand.

The fanbois can argue until they are blue in the face about "intrinsic value" but they don't foot the bill for Joe Punter.

Macbooks don't offer anything of value to the average punter......Proof of the pudding lies in the fact that they will buy iPhones and Tablets ( Samsung or Apple), within which they will find all that they truly require, media consumption and facebook....

Torvalds: Linux devs may 'cry into our lonely beers' at Christmas

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It's not easy to find the correct adjectives to describe Linus without sounding rude.

It's the dream: Bill Gates chucks cash at WEE-IN-YOUR-PHONE project

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Nature Selfies

We might not yet get to know about the bears but now we will get to see the tribal people shitting in the desert/savana.

Cyanogen grabs $23m, will ship mod-installed N1 smartmobe on Xmas Eve

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Re: Embrace and extend?

CM is not a threat, why, because it relies on Google's code. CM does not write everything from scratch, they "extend" existing code.

If anything CM actually helps Google by showing what can be improved, modded to a better level or optimised.

CM is not perfect but it is good.

They only downside that I now see though is that they will no longer have to fight like hungry men in order to survive, I am worried that they will start behaving like round bellied managers. Only the future can tell.

Proposed California law demands anti-theft 'kill switch' in all smartphones

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Re: If this is going to be regulated...

Alternatively, use the Israeli method, a little bit of strategic C4 + remote detonation.... Garaunteed that the thief will never steal another anything....

First China banned Bitcoin. Now its crooks are using malware to steal traders' wallets

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Re: Serious Question

Mea culpa, I read the article too quickly. What I dont understand is how the malware gets there in the first place ( hence the bad presumption of clicking a link within an email - quite typically it's thru email )

In fact I just realised the article doesn't mention at all how the malware gets to its target.

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Serious Question

Who in this day and age still for those kinds of emails ? I have a slight suspicion that traders are generally not quite so dumb.

Macbook webcams CAN spy on you - and you simply CAN'T TELL

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Re: Nothing beats a physical shutter

For the Apple owners we could suggest some Tippex ( white-out)

Sky rapped over PREMATURE SEXY CONDOM ad

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9Pm deadline

At 9pm it is vital that your children are sent to their bedrooms. The TV programs at that hour are no longer appropriate, your children can find far better porn on the web on their PCs/Tablets/Phones etc..

James Bond's 'shaken not stirred': Down to trembling boozer's hands, claim boffins

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Re: Doctors?

Good news because then you can't be an alcoholic.

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Not so crazy

If I had to wake up every morning, try to save the world, risk getting my balls slapped with a heavy knotted rope, suffer jet lag permanently, endlessly watch my favorite lovely lady getting fed to the lions etc I would probably be on drugs, slightly alcoholic and probably have a very bad attitude..

James Bond actually fares quite well considering the odds.

The yanks got men that wear capes and spandex, we were lucky and got James Bond.....

Long live Bond, James Bond

Facebook seeks WIDE EYES of sports fans to rival Twitter

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There will come a time when all software is free, in between the adverts and the subliminal messages you will actually manage to do something with the software although it won't actually have any relevance other than to display the next advert.

Or is that already Facebooks model.......

Lovers of Tor can now sprinkle Bitcoins on its developers as thanks

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Rise and fall

If these guys declare revenue, then I presume that they will have to pay taxes, what happens should they make a declaration when bitcoin is worth $4000, receive their tax bill, then bitcoin drops down to £200 dollars just before they make their payment?

Due to the volatile nature of Bitcoins, I would consider it an extremely risky means by which to get paid or make any kind os declaration.

Would it not be safer to wait until some stability can be ensured ?

Like the Stock market some people will make money with bitcoins but the majority will end up losing.

Don't listen to Snowden ... Intel: We've switched on CPU crypto for Hadoop

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Black Helicopters

Cloudy cloud

If it's in the cloud, I don't see how's it possible to retain any form of garauntee.

A cracker requires time before he cracks your code.

Give a safecracker time and he will enter your safe.

The cloud is the element of "time" that is required for the <insert agency/pirate here> to be successfull in pwning your data.

Microsoft admits: We WON'T pick the next Steve Ballmer this year

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First decision - Split the company

Microsoft has reached it's critical mass, the company should be split into independant entities, each entity with it's own CEO.

Entities : Server and business tools + cloudy stuff, Home platforms + Phones , Applications ( Office ), Gaming and Hardware.

Each entity should remain independant but remain within a commonly shared objective.

I would suggest that One (Wo)Man to Rule them All is no longer valid, the risk for not doing so: implosion..

Two Brits face criminal trial for sending 'menacing' tweets

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Re: Do you send tweets?

I would suggest neither. I was always under the impression that you simply "tweet".

John tweeted Sally.

Sally re-tweeted John's tweet to Jane.

Jane got upset at the tweet and decided to tweet John directly.

[All sounds just a bit cuckoo really]

Apple CEO Cook breaks YEARS OF SILENCE, finally speaks to El Reg hack

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Re: What about Tim Cook


Have a look at the little icon on the right hand side, there might have been a little bit of tongue in cheek involved.....

Khaptain Silver badge

What about Tim Cook

Tim Cook was even worse, he tried to "emulate" steve by wearing the jeans and the turtlenecks.... Steve was bad enough with his haircuts etc but it is even worse that someone would want to copy the whole look.

Windows/DOS = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop ( debateable with TIKAM).

MacOs = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop.

Android = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop.

Digital/Dec Vax = A true outsider.

Therefore MacOs, Android and Windows are step brothers/sisters.

Twitterers rally round #CensoredUK - to demand more porn

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We have been on this earth for approx 200 000 years, there was no internet during that time ( minus the last 20 odd years) and yet we managed.....

If you or your children need the internet to learn about sex then your/their problems are far bigger than "learning about sex from the internet".

Khaptain Silver badge


If they block all of the pricks, cunts and twats from the web won't that also block Downing street and the houses of parliament..

Brilliant Brit bloke builds breakfast-belching BACON DRONE

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Re: Resolve afghanistan war


There's a little bit of Blott hiding in there somewhere.

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Resolve afghanistan war

Send these guys to Afghanistan immediately, if nothing else the Taliban and the soldiers would have a good laugh and maybe put an end to that stupid war.

Would need to swap the bacon for something else though...

Great project, works well , done with humor. Well done guys you have managed to tick off all the correct boxes.

Steelie Neelie: EU biz can use YOUR private data WITHOUT PERMISSION

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Professional Lobbying

Should we therefore presume that Nelly has now been bought out by big business.

You will now get cheaper roaming charges at the expense of your private data.

Nelly had her own hidden agenda that is now coming to the surface....

Pirate Bay ties up in Peru

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Sales Figures

Does this mean that the music industry et al will begin publishing massive increases in their sales figures, somehow I think not.

Rather than spending time and effort chasing the TPB, why not simply start producing quality music....instead of the plastic cheese attempts that we hear today...

Apple fanbois warned: No, Cupertino HASN'T built a Bitcoin mining function into Macs

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The mightiest of the seven sins

Greed - it'll get them every time..

( Danté quoted Pride as being the worst sin, personally I would suggest Greed at least for 1st world countries.)

You gotta fight for your copyright ... Beastie Boys sue toymaker over TV ad

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Re: Pretty much my thoughts too

"wronger" ?

How Britain could have invented the iPhone: And how the Quangocracy cocked it up

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Re: The Black Swan Theory

I consider the Black Swan as being the unforseen and pathetic handling of the event by NESTA. NESTA appears to have had excellent goals and ideas and also to have been an ideal path to choose. Unfortunately for Fentem is didn't work out that way.

If Fentem has known in advance about how his case was going to be handled he would have probably attempted to achieve his funding from another source.

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Thumb Up

The Black Swan Theory

This article is actually guite a good example of how Nissam Taleb's Black Swan theory is actually appropriate within contemporary societey. In this context we have the Black Swan personified by the quangos....

Success, as he wrote elsewhere in his book, has very little to do with actual logic, technical marvel or genuis level strategies it has far more to do with "pure chance" than anything else.

PS :Thumbs up for the article, it is an interesting insight into what goes on behind the scenes of what should/could produce some interesting ideas/technology.

China's 'Airpocalypse' forces pilots to learn BLIND landings in smog

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Re: Obvious question

Upon reading that webpage it appears that they do not know how to tackle the problem !

Quote :

The concrete goals of the air pollution control plan are not clear, though Zhang Gong, deputy mayor of Beijing, has previously said that the central government requires his city to cut levels of PM2.5 (particulate matter up to 2.5µm in diameter) by 25% by 2017, compared with 2012.

‘While it is very necessary to increase efforts, more research should be done to support policies. Up until now, we still do not know exactly which factors are causing smog in Beijing,’ Ye tells Chemistry World.

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Obvious question

What are they doing about the root cause oif the problem, the Smog?

Oz couple get jiggy in pharmacy in 'banned' condom ad

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Penis Head

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a mans’ penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million.

The study concluded that the reason the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject.

They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect.

After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study.

The Aussies didnt really trust British or French studies.

So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00 ( 3 cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete.

They concluded that the reason the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead

[Joke hopelessly ripped from here]

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Re: Who would want to ask for a 'Small'?

Stats to be found here

My sporrans made from beaver, it keeps it nice and dry..... Just don't ask what kind of beaver.....

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