* Posts by Khaptain

3254 posts • joined 4 May 2008

HP Enterprise Services staff feel the burn as managers turn off the cash taps

Khaptain Silver badge

Quick Win

The first stage in cost reduction should be the interdiction of expenses at the Directors level.

Most people would be appauled to learn what goes on those "personal expense" forms. No, it's not just the govt ministers that play that game.

BlackBerry bottoms out: Vows to wow with new Berries

Khaptain Silver badge


As they as the don't try and compete with the other offering and that they remain focused to business I see no reason that they shouldn't succeed.

Microsoft to let customers know where Office 365 is going

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Office 365...

And with the $20Million they could start by improving that Fugly interface. In my personal opinion, It doesn't matter how often I install it, it still looks/feels like crap.

And yes, before anyone jumps own my throat, asthetics/ergonomics are important in interface design.

The other thing that they have to change is the name "Libre office" will never cut it. For anyone that doesn't know Libre is the French word for "free".... As soon as you add the word Free to anything it instantly sounds cheap....

I would suggest something like Business Office, Professional Office etc something that sounds less cheap or more serious.

And now for some tongue in cheek stuff : They could also try renaming the applications to Ward, Axel, PinPoint and Overlook .......

Just for info : I use Libre Office at home but not at work.

Auditors blast Blighty cops over binned multi-million pound IT project

Khaptain Silver badge

"The chief constable that was around at the time this project was approved " probably also lives in a very confortable house and drives a nice Range Rover thanks to the that project. (Whether it went AWOL or not)

Assange™ makes fresh bid for FREEDOM from Scotland Yard's 'physical encirclement'

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Ecuadorian embassy

Didn't a certain Mr Obama swear to remove that facility ? Julian could have released some very interesting leaks about Gitmo.

Khaptain Silver badge

Ecuadorian embassy

I wonder if he will leak any of the Ecuadorian Embassy secrets when he eventually gets out.

2 years in an Ecuadorian embassy doesn't sound much like fun either. I wonder if he actually pays for his own keep.

Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

Khaptain Silver badge


No, but he definately is uniformed.

Han Solo headed for lengthy stay in bacta tank after Bay Door Control cockup

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: NHS or Private?

More likely Pinewood's insurance company as this, I presume, will be classed as a work accident.

Microsoft poised to take Web server crown from Apache

Khaptain Silver badge

Bring him back

I can't think of a better article for which Eadon should be given a temporary comeback ...

Indie record labels to haul YouTube before the European Commission

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Beep

Glad to hear that the sanity still exists in other parts of the world. Let's hope we can keep it alive without the suits spoiling everything.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Khaptin


Yes, I expected that remark.

1 : George Lang's offer relates to his love of music, of the artists, nostalgia and history. George shares this with his listeners and nourishes the culture of those that follow. Listening to George it is easy to understand and admire the unerring dedication that he has provided for more that 40 years. It is a pleasure to listen to someone of this caliber.

2 : Google's offering relates to what Google deems necassary in order to keep the adverts flowing. Google use powerfull and well written algorithms to determine content with the eventuality that the end game will help increase market share. Googles experience will always remain a cold, impersonal, mind-numbing marketing experience, it is subliminal but very powerfull.

It is impossible to put them on par, the playing fields and the players belong to two very different games.

I fear that future generations will lose the capacity of knowing or being introduced to anything that is not pregenerated by a marketing algorithm. And for the moment, I see nothing that appears to hinder the impetus of the Google monster.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Old school here

2 Hours of Johnny Hallyday would drive even Simon Cowell insane....lol.

Here is a link to the RTL web page for George Lang.


The best shows are the "Les Nocturnes" and the "Sagas". Anything from Pink Floyd to London Grammar

Obviously it helps to speak French, je presume que c'est le cas.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Old school here

>Radio is ok if you don't mind being force-fed the latest playlist of heavily-promoted Simon Cowell rubbish, or the so-called 'classic' tracks from bands long gone.

That all depends on the stations that you have access to. Here in France for example, there is a very well known radio presenter, Georges Lang, who is kinda the equivalant of a John Peel in that you will hear some classics mixed in with some newcomers and you will always learn something new. You can learn a lot....

The words "Simon Cowell" and "music" are diametrically opposed and should never be associated.

>If you're interested in anything else, radio is worse than useless.

Please share what it is that you are interested in that receives no radio time and yet is freely discoverable on Youtube ?

Also please provide details of your method of "discovery" by using youtube. Give an idea of the keywords/search words that you use that are capable of returning meaningfull results, other than pure hit and miss tactics whereby it is Google that decides what will be force-fed to you.

Khaptain Silver badge

Old school here

I still use the old fangled method called the "radio", I don't get as much choice but at least it doesn't shovel publicity down my throat after every click or turn of a button. Youtube also has the tedious habit of making you discover what they decide you need to discover......

Alienware says it WILL ship a Steam Machine in 2014 – running Windows

Khaptain Silver badge

Serious Faux pas

If it runs MS Excel or Word natively then it definately should not be called a Steam Machine.

How would this really differ from my W7 + Steam Client machine, let me guess the version number.

Flying cars, submarine cars – Elon Musk says NOTHING is beyond him

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Re: Challenge

@Irony Deficient

Which option(s) do you consider as being non feasible ?

And, are they any less feasible than flying cars or underwater cars ?

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Challenge

>How would you propose building a car in the UK to your challenge’s specifications and being able to sell it profitably there for no more than £6,689?

Now you see just how interesting the challenge really is.

Khaptain Silver badge


I challenge Elon to make a vehicle as follows

Road legal.

Carries 5 people (average person = 85kgs) i.e. five grown men comfortably..

Must be able to store at least three large sized suitcases in the boot/trunk.

Autonomy of 1000 Kms.

Costs about the equivalent of 3 months’ salary (based upon average nationwide salaries - excluding those within the higher end pay bracket: i.e. anyone that earns over 300 000 $ per year) - applicable throughout the world - price varies according to country because of exchange rates.

Cars must be built locally (nationally) and where possible using home country materials.

Should have good fuel consumption - 3 litres per 100 Kms mixed conditions - Engine should be replaceable by alternative fuel system - today petrol, tomorrow Diesel, after tomorrow Hydrogen etc.

Capable of doing 180Km/h safely.

Must have at least 200 000Kmh or 7 year guarantee for all parts except the usual consumables.

Most if not all parts ( anything that weighs less than 20 kgs) should be user replaceable without the need for special tools. Could create a huge market for customisation.

Must look more aesthetic than a Traban but possibly less than a DB9 in black..

Nothing fancy here, nothing over board but definitely a challenge.

Get ready for Europe's robo-butlers: Billions of €€€s pledged to electro-slave dream

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Agricultural robots?

Here is a link to an American farm that is almost exactly the same as the farm that I visited.

You can skip the first few minutes, at the 6 minute mark it becomes more interesting, at the 8 minute mark you can start to see the machines in action. They don't show the whole farm and all the processes but they do show the some of the interesting parts and also the quantity of information that becomes avaialble to the the farmer.

There are probably better videos available but this was the first one that I found. This video dates back to 2010, the farm I visited was only last year and the technology was even better, the lasers/robots for teat recognition /placement worked much quicker.


If you get the chance try and visit one, from an IT/Electronics standpoint they are very interesting. Do not wear your favourite Armani, Hugo Boss suit though.

Edit : I just came across a better video although I don't remember the farmer explaning to me about the usage "pellets" to entice the cows.


Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Smart house or Robobutler

In the future there will be no need for "tangible" foods. All that will be required is a tiny pill that contains exactlly the ingrediants required which permit your body to function at is most efficient level.. This in turn will allow your body to by used as food for the "Gene Pool", literally a pool of genes, that your Android

hosts require in order to have intelligence faculties.

You will in fact have become the slave to the robot.

And that's looking at things from a postive standpoint.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Agricultural robots?

>Robots that can attach a cow to a milking machine without frightening her so badly she gives yogurt.

I recently visited a modern farming facility where the entire milk produciton facility is ran automatically/ robotically.

Every cow has an RFID tag which activates the various automates/robots as the approach. They can get food and water as they require, they have brushes for scratching their backs, no joke and when they feel like giving milk they amble of towards the milking machine The milking machine reads the tag, decides if they cow has given enough or not for the day and they lets here enter the milking parlour.

A laser scans the position of the udders and then directs each suction cup precisely under each teat, it even allows for a certain degree of movement. When the machine detects that there is not milk left the cow is liberated and continues her day. The cows really did not seem in the least worried or disturbed and no farmer with a big stick was required to make them enter the miliking machine..

Because of the RFID tag, the exact cow's milk can be analysed and where necassary included or excluded into/from the global production. The analysis even detects various illness within the cattle's milk and thereby warn the farmer by SMS . Subsequently excluding the animals milk from further inclusion in the production.

The animals appeared to be very calm, healthy and apparenty milk production was 20% above the production of the animals that were outside. And yes the robots/automates even manage to clean up the cowshit.

It was a very interesting visit, the farmer was more than happy to give me a guided tour. The downside for him though was the investment, it was massive, he explained to me that he personally would not be able to pay of the debt during his lifetime, that would remain for his ascendants.

The only negative side that I saw was the fact that the cows spent their entire time inside even though they didn't look like unhappy or mistreated animals ! I live in the countryside and am used to seeing the typical lot of cows that live outside, these ones seemed no different, at least to my untrained eye.

That strikes one of the items of Dogged's list, as for the rest though, well there is still a lot of work to be done.

Khaptain Silver badge

I want a robot......

I want a robot that goes to work on my behalf - this will keep me happy.

I want a robot that will lay crazy paving around my garage - this will keep the wife happy..

I want a robot that will build me a 16m yacht for less than 10K - this will annoy the neighbour..

I want a robot that will be bigger than my neighbours robot - this will annoy the neighbour even more.

I want a robot that can defend my home from other people's robots - oops it all went too far.

I want a robot that has a remote controlled self destruct button - just in case my robot becomes a little too friendly with the neighbours robot.

OK, execs. You want Apple kit. And Windows Phone, too? Really?

Khaptain Silver badge

@Arnaut @Doug

No, I am not advocating that people throw their hands up. I am advocating that users need proper training, they need to understand that sensitive information must be handled "very carefully" and that relying on technology is potential faux pas.

Personally when I read these kinds of articles I feel that too many people have come to rely on technology rather than relying on common sense.

Khaptain Silver badge

Not only android

Putting your faith in the manufacturer/developer/operator or local Govt Security Agency that is behind any/all of the current common platforms is at the very least naive.

At the end of every telephone/smartphone there is something much less secure than the platform, it is called the user.

Last weeks hack on TruCrypt has really shown how much even the trusted platforms are fragile.

Google to plonk tentacles on 'unwired' world with $1bn launch of 180-satellite fleet

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: World Domination

They will have to be mind controlling satellites in order to encourage the poor to spend, what little they have, on the advertised products that Google will present to them.

And if they don't spend, well the death-ray will come in handy.

Seedy hacker steals 1300 Monsanto client and staff records

Khaptain Silver badge


Couldn't think of a "nicer" company for this kind of bad press to be inflicted upon..

Reap what you sow.....

Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Who taught these children ??

@Billa Bong

As much as I understand what you are getting at, I would argue that if such were the case then even the mere "pencil" should have been forgotten about long ago. As much as our keyboards replace the pencil I still take the time to write in a real book with real paper.

What I think my comments were trying to highlight was the apparent lack of fascination or adventure of these childern. The fact that they have been given old computers should not really have any bearing.. Would they also be "bored" with classic cars, classical instruments or even "books".....

I believe that fascination, exploration and discovery of things old or new is something that is, and probably always should be, very high on the ladder of a child's evolution. Hell, it still is very high on mine....

Or maybe I am just growing old and don't realise how the the world has changed since my youth...

Khaptain Silver badge

Who taught these children ??

I think a behavourial science student would have a field day with these children. Modesty was obviously not a prime candidate thoughout their upbringing and what's with the Soap Opera theatrics.

Contemporary society : I want everything, I want it now , it has to be easy, it has to be free.....and most importantly I don't want to have to be made to think....

I am still thrilled by older technology, it is always a reminder of man's ever evolving ingenuity. Unfortunately these kids appear to take very little pleasure in being given something new to learn. I always imagine how quickly people like this will become stuck/frustrated as soon as they are confronted with the slightest problem...

Additionaly the test/experiment appears to have been badly misguided..... The presenter didn't really help, he presented things in a manner which was not conducive with the desire to explore or to learn. It was almost as though he wanted them to get stuck/confused.

Pirate Party runs aground in European Parliamentary elections

Khaptain Silver badge

Exactly the same scenario for Marine Le Penn, the French far right winger.

The extreme right wingers do not have to worry about being PC or about using the usual humdrum media tactics, as a consequence they are now gaining large percentages of the available votes, why : they speak and make themselves understood to people , which many of todays politicians have forgotten . The extreme right wingers have also tamed down a bit in recent years and some of them, like Marine Le Penn, actually have some reasonable ideas, please note the word "some" and not "all".

When the mainstream politicians have nothing left to offer is anyone really surprised to see the pendulum swinging futher and further out.

Contemporary politicians don't really belong to the moderate right or moderate left sympathies, they simply belong to "he who pays". I would safely presume that most politicians would be happy to change to opposing parties/cabinets/idealogies for the no other reason that being able to remain with a cushy job for which you can't get punished for doing wrong.

The current political methods have had their day, it's time to move on and start afresh. ( Although usually that means war).

Open wide, 'Friends': Facebook wants to give you a 'Privacy checkup'

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Word of the wise

"many of us had friends* long before FaceBook was around, so it's a bit late to choose them.

The kinds of people that would eventually progress to using FB were never the kinds of Friends I wanted to have..

Khaptain Silver badge

Word of the wise

>And you probably won't win anyway because other people will feed data in on your behalf.

Choose your friends carefully.

Microsoft walks into a bar. China screams: 'Eww is that Windows 8? GET OUT OF HERE'

Khaptain Silver badge

I think that it means that XP and 7 will become even more pirated not W8.

Google: Mmm. Tab-free Gmail desktop client? We won't DENY it

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: kids of my lawn

@Dan 55

You have to help me out here. Are you saying that the correct syntax should be example a :

a : Don't forget to include the merits of the "full stop" or "period."

b : Don't forget to include the merits of the "full stop" or "period".

Version a : I believe that that is the American form.

Version b : I believe that that is the British form.

Being of British rather than American descent I automatically use the "correct" syntax :-)

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: kids of my lawn

Don't forget to include the merits of the "full stop" or "period".

Archive.org web trove hits FOUR HUNDRED BEEEELLION pages

Khaptain Silver badge

Remash of old material

Ah ha, now we have proof that the El Reg hacks simply remash existing material.

Win X Rollout

El Reg hack replaces Win 98 for W8, changes one or two names, drops in the obligatory threat from company X who is "prepared" to move to an alternate OS et voila Bob's your auntie.

Bill Gates was already the worlds richest man, for the 4th year running with an estimated 51 Billions - so we can easilly remash that as well....

Interesting to see how nothing much changes.

SMASH AND GRAB iThieves run car through front of Berkeley's Apple Store

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Hasn't El Reg heard of ramraiding before?

Apple Release News: The "iPerenium" - With only two fingers and a quick swipe action you can get the job done?

Anti-theft mobe KILL SWITCH edges closer to reality in California

Khaptain Silver badge

>The threat is in the data centers, not your phone.

Agreed but what is worrying is the change of 'voice' that will be governing the data center.

Japanese cops arrest man with five 3D printed guns at home

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: other countries with a far greater accesibility to firearms,Israel and Switzerland


I completely agree with you that that is not the normal mentality of most gun owners but unfortunately it is the mentality of some of the "police"... ( the police are also normal citizens outside of the uniforms).

I have never hung out intentionally with people that have undeclared firearms but as you mentioned due to circumstance some people I know have become illegal owners. An example from last week, I friend's father recently died and he "inherited" his fathers hand guns which at the time did not require the same licencing as they do today. ( Normally he is obliged to render the arms to the police). Anyone who has a firearms owning parent/grand parent is in exactly the same position.

I must add also that most legal gun owners, probably around the 99.99% are respectable and law abiding people that handle firearms correctly, they are not the group that are causing any fire4arms problems.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: other countries with a far greater accesibility to firearms,Israel and Switzerland

Dear AC,

As it happens I have actually lived and worked in all of these countries, have you ? I have also frequented many many people that own or have access to firearms for a multitude of reasons.

Israel : I lived and worked there for several years and have on several occasions been on field trips into the desert, we were accompanying children, and I was asked each time to carry a loaded Galil, instructions were simple "help protect" the group should a situation arrive, all of the adults were armed ( forget the legality and welcome to the real world) . I have the photos to prove handling of IMI Desert Eagles; One of my ex-colleagues was a IDF Sniper ( the real world kind not the movie kind - I worked with him for 2 years before he even mentioned it, I learned a lot about life from that guy).... None of these situations are exceptional, firearm accessibility in Israel is a lot different from the States, do not confuse the two.

USA : Rednecks in Arkansas/Texas - mainly hunting firearms but lots of them. I won't bother going into details about what or how the hunts were conducted. They also introduced me to hunting crossbows and compund bows, both of which are just as deadly. San Diego, I once opened my apartment door and a gun was promptly stuck in my face, the police were looking for someone and confused my aprtment with that of the guy downstairs, they checked my identitiy, excused themselves then headed of down below as if it was entirely normal. ( remember what I wrote about mentality).

Switzerland : Having worked there for over 8 years, I won't even bother going into the details about the expectations that the country has towards each man being armed/owning his service firearm and being able to use it. The Swiss have some excellent marksmen, it's not without reason. Come and visit, get to know the people and maybe then you will understand that firearms are a lot more prevalant that you might imagine. Have a quick check up on firearms suicides, the figures are a little bit embarrasing for the Swiss, they dont like to publish the numbers and ahve recently made some votes about firearms in the home because of this.

I also have both hunting and sporting licences and therefore also frequent people on a "weekly" basis, all year round. Have you ever been a member of a shooting club, you would be amazed at just how many people own one or more firearms, legally....and even slightly less legally. head off over to some of the above mentioned countries online forums and have alook at how active the forums are, they are a buzzing hive of activity if you follow them.

We won't even begin to cover illegal firearms or the bad guys....

By the way, the States was the only place that I ever heard anyone talk about shooting people, even just for fun, outside of a survival situation.

I intentionally used the word "Accessibility" because I fully understand the difference between ownership and accessibilty.

Khaptain Silver badge

Correlation is not in direct relation to gun ownership.

Guns do not kill people, people kill people.

Leaving aside the USA for the moment.

Serbia, Finland, Sweden and even Switzerland have a similar or much higher gun ownership percentage than that of Uruguay. Yet the homicide rate in Uruguay is more than double that of the others combined.

This shows an example whereby there appears to be no direct correlation between gun ownership and homicide. I would hazard a guess that the real problem is either drugs, gambling, some other vice or possibly the mentality. The USA has probably more drugs, gambling and vice than any other of country and also the highest homicide rate, possibly a correlation here.

The 'Mericans are also brought up not into a gun culture but into a culture whereby a man can use lethal force to defend his property, herein lies another part of the problem....the mentality. The Mericans choose to use the gun as the means, other cultures use don't. Again possibly a correlation.

If someone wants to kill another I am sure that with or without a gun they could quite easilly find the means, fortunately most people are not brought up into that kind of culture.

I have lived in the States and also other countries with a far greater accesibility to firearms,Israel and Switzerland, but I felt less safe in the States.

Nothing more than my tuppence worth.

Cost-cutting Barclays bank swings axe on 5,600 IT and ops bods

Khaptain Silver badge

Yup, it's nothing more than juggling figures between the budgets lines. Depending on who reports are presented to, figures will magically disappear or appear as required. Showing internal costs whilst omitting outsourcing costs can make a budget look great.. Just make sure to hide those damned outsourcing figures......

Report: Climate change has already hit USA - and time is RUNNING OUT

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Marvin would love this news


Do you even understand the word "Global", it appears that you you haven't quite grasped the concept ......

And while you have the dictionary in your hand look up what "Eugenics" means as well.

Khaptain Silver badge

Marvin would love this news

So to sum everything up.

Global Politics are fucked up - no one can agree on anything.

Global Economics beneft about 0.0000000000000000001% of the entire population so it's basically fucked up as well.

Global Population is out of control.

And to top it off we have managed to fuck up the Global Climate or at least now we admit to it.

or is this just the preparatory work for the 1st Global War ?

Is there any chance of having some good news before I die...

[I was going to include religion but that's always been fcuked up anyway]

SCOTUS asked to overturn patent-troll's charter

Khaptain Silver badge

And all of this is funded by whom, the taxpayer or the Patent Holder ?

It appears that Judicial systems are become so complicated that they are themselves removing the justification for their own existance. It's apperars to be getting to the stage whereby it will be cheaper and quicker just to pay a hitman rather than go through the courts and the legal fees..

Thumbs up for your reply, very detailed and quite interesting.

Khaptain Silver badge

Can we therefore infer that it is easier to corrupt a Federal Circuit judge than a Supreme court judge ?

Microsoft hints at smaller Surface

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Product name suggestions

"MS STS" : Surfaced Then Sank

Creating your golden statue of Nicolas Cage finally possible

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: cheesiest, least credible (or is that edible), cheesy actors

I digress , I liked "Lords of War" but it required a cheesy arms dealer, so Nicolas was perfect for the part.

Agreed - The statue should be made of cheese rather than gold... Seen the price of good cheese lately, it's definately gaining ground towards the ounce of proverbial Gold. ( Cheese is kind of golden in colour , almost.)

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Cell

Can't we just have the huge statue which we could then use as a urinal, spit bowl, punch bag <insert favorite punishment, torture method here>.

Nicolas Cage is probably a great guy in real life but he is one of the cheesiest, least credible (or is that edible), cheesy actors that Hollywood ( the Copolla familly) has ever spawned...

Unless of course the reference to a budgie cage relates to the fact that he will spend his day being shit upon.

Did I forget to mention just how cheesy this guy is?

What HAS BEEN SEEN? OMG it's a thing that looks like an iWatch

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: El Reg has either deliberately or inadvertently got their description wrong

Steve, Why then does that allow itself to be patented ?

Isn't that a bit like saying, I have a cardbaord box and I like to fill up in the following manner........, therefore I will now "patent" my method and thereby disallow all others form filling up their boxes in the same way.

What is actually being patented ? Isn't there a notion of "invention" involved in a patent.

I am not arguing that what you are saying is wrong, it's just that I do not understand how this is justifiable.

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