* Posts by Khaptain

3254 posts • joined 4 May 2008

The grand-plus iPhone is the new normal – this is no place for paupers

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Typical Apple

If you keep you Rolex serviced it might last for several generations and probably gain in value.

Rolexs are hand crafted mechanical devices, Iphone are just chinese mass produced consumables.. You can't compare them.

If you know anything about watches you would also realise that Rolex are actually a top notch manufacturer, their service is first class and they produce watches using top quality materials, many of which are in house made, including their usage of their own perfected steel.. It's anything but tat.

Microsoft sharpens its claws to cut Outlook UI excess, snip Ribbon

Khaptain Silver badge

"Only now am I starting to get used to that piffle of a ribbon."

And the surprising part is that is actually quite good.....

I've seen the future of consumer AI, and it doesn't have one

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: A but not I

I see it as follows :

We are born with instinct, like most other animals whereas we develop our intellect ( some people don't manage to go very far though).

Instinct tells you that you have to eat.

Intelligence will eventually tell you how to eat better by making fire, how to cut up the bones to make sharp objects and eventually learn to sew, make clothes that protect you from the environment and eventually build/furnish a cave which you can then rent to the lesser intellects for more food that it is really worth.

Khaptain Silver badge

A but not I

Intelligence : In my book it relates to the capacity to autonomously and continually adapt to ones surroundings. It is first and foremost a skill that helps us continue to survive. Intelligence is the thing that kicks in when instinct has reached its limits.

Since none of these objects are anything but Pseudo Code wrapped up with a synthetic voice, it appears as though the intelligence part has been completely forgotten. In reality they are nothing more than the equivalent of "Multi-Mixers" pretending that the chore of cooking will completely disappear thanks to the wonderful technology inside. Pure and utter bullshit.

These machines are really nothing more than household appliances performing an extremely small and minor task. I would give more credit to the inventor of the spoon.

What's more worrying is the quantity of people who actually believe in this nonsense.

Huawei elbows aside Apple to claim number-two phone maker spot

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: There may be trouble ahead ....

For the moment their handsets are relatively cheap, much cheaper than Samsung, their quality is pretty good, ( we've stopped buying Samsung at work because of the price) and they are snappy.

We've got P9s, P10s et even P20s, no complaints whatsover. ( Don't know about their cheaper versions)

As for rooting telephones, I used to do it, now I can't be bothered as it causes more pain than anything else. There is always something that doesn't work correctly afterwards...

Now I just use Blokada in order to make an "attempt" at blocking Ads and to try and reduce/limit the Google Slurp...

You want how much?! Israel opts not to renew its Office 365 vows

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Now *there's* an EU initiative ....

Unfortunately there is no initiative to do so because the greedy bastards of this world won't make any money.

It's official – satellite spots water ice at the Moon's chilly poles

Khaptain Silver badge

"You get a lot of UV on the surface of the Moon, so a lot of the plastic will break down relatively quickly."

That could be an excellent solution to the problems on Earth, increase the UV by breaking don the Ozone layer..... oh wait ......haven't we already made an attempt at that.

Khaptain Silver badge


Now all we have to do is learn how to breath on the moon........

Big Tech turns saboteur to cripple new California privacy law in private

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Private Piracy, Arrr

Ironic that Silicon Valley is in California. I wonder if that means that several companies would reimplant to other states where they are slightly less eco-friendly and far more open to large backhanders.

Aren't there any companies in Silicon Valley capable of producing a non-advertising based search engine. Something that doesn't use Google as the back end?

Self-driving cars will be safe, we're testing them in a massive AI Sim

Khaptain Silver badge

"You're assuming that AI doesn't also bring downsides equivalent or greater to than the more obvious human failings."

The difference being the AI will improve and retain it's "intelligence".

Khaptain Silver badge

"but literally decades before any car can drive itself around Cairo or the arc de triomphe"

A lot of people can't actually manage to do those things in a safe manner without putting others into danger. At least AVs would not be influenced by emotions, stress or fatique, thereby creating a safer environment..

Khaptain Silver badge


Outside of drving a sports car on a circuit, or a good 4*4 in the desert etc I can't think of anything more mundane than driving..

Personally I wish that AVs would arrive tommorrow on a large scale. The less meatbags that are behind the wheel the better.

I would hazard a guess that most accidents, and therefore road jams etc are caused by meatbags making bad decisions. And since driving laws are becoming more drastic, speed cams, speed bumps, radar, red light cams etc it's making less sense to actually drive ourselves..

There was a time when owning a car gave us a sense of freedom, nowadays it's almost a constraint..

Vive the coming of the AV..

Windows 10 Linux Distribution Overload? We have just the thing

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Don't feed the penguins. They're doing fine without your MSguided help.

Or alternatively,

2 SSDS with the possibility to switch between both, suspend the activity of one , resume the other, just like VMs

Lo and behold, Earth's special chemical cocktail for life seems to be pretty common

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Alternative life forms

"Venturing elsewhere is how you go about cleaning up where you are now. It's a lot easier to clean a house when it's not being lived in, think about it.

Moving off world and expanding usable space, reduces our demands on the earth's natural resources, giving its ecosystems time and space to recover."

Oh, so you mean that we can take our actual bad habits and continue to deploy them elsewhere ? Using even more resources and poluting something else.

We have to tidy up our own backyard first before we can start to imagine moving elsewhere.. We have successfully put a lot of things in the atmosphere and some of it is already in the "junk" status.


Khaptain Silver badge

Alternative life forms

The universe is probably teeming with life but in forms that we do not recognize or understand or are capable of understanding from a chemical/physical point of view.

I know that I am a pressimist and as much as I can understand the desire to search elsewhere I always feel that there is far more need to take care and improve whats already here..

If we were to discover an alternative lifeform I am sure that they would be disgusted at what we are doing with the planet that we already have..

Before venturing elsewhere we need to take care of GAIA before se decide to take care of us... Then we should begin our ventures elsewhere.

Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

Khaptain Silver badge

Porn Fest

I was developing CTI interfaces quite a few years ago and as such was using the companies phones lines to do testing.

Boss came into the office and told me to stop testing as the latest invoice was extremely high.. As my testing was aony a few phone calls using local numbers I was a little dubious at being the cause of the high amounts.

As anyone would do I then inspected the bill and call up our provider in order to have further details..

Reality hit : The expenses were in fact associated with a mobile number within the company that was using SMS texts to pay for Porn..

Guess who's mobile phone was being used, oh yes it was our favorite Pointy Haired Boss...

I confonted him with the fact the someone was using SMS to pay for Porn access without mentioning the number that was being used. He quietly dismissed me from his office and said he would investigate himself as to who was using the companies resources in a such a manner.

I also had the logs from our Firewall which left no doubt about the time spent browsing Porn from his office machine.. ( I didn't tell him about that though)

I was allowed to continue my testing and next months bills were already back to normal....

( I don't now if SMS are still used to make payments because that was several years ago, about 12 and thing have moved on since, thankfully)

Google risks mega-fine in EU over location 'stalking'

Khaptain Silver badge


Google, Apple et al know only too well what they are doing, by intentionally confusing everything to a point where even hardened IT Pros have difficulties understanding how to setup things up.

It's simple really, Google will do everything in it's power to stop you having control over "their" data...


When's a backdoor not a backdoor? When the Oz government says it isn't

Khaptain Silver badge

Welcome to China


(Decrypted version by means of me being a good cop)

All your Kangaroos are us.

Prank 'Give me a raise!' email nearly lands sysadmin with dismissal

Khaptain Silver badge

Australia on the cusp of showing the world how to break encryption

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: No ... think bigger!

@Mc Nobby

I presume that that was a reference to the IT Crowd... Brings up some sunshine to this cloudy morning.


and it's follow up


Khaptain Silver badge

Fortunately it's no longer the case.

So maybe, the Ozzies should reconsider if their master plan will really have any impact.

First we had the great barrier reef.

Then we had the great Aussi Firewall.

The we had the amazing Aussi Full Decryption laws.

Then we had a scandal because one of the ministers got caught doing something naughty, one/all of his adversaries could now read the hidden stuff.

Then the great firewall, decryption process was removed as it wasn't in public interest...

What goes around, comes around...

Need a facial recognition auto-doxxx tool? Social Mapper has you covered

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Go for it

Australian, living in one of Sydney's affluent suburbs.

Worked on IBMs, knows AS400s probably from within a Banking environment, in or around the early 80s, we can quickly surmise that at least 48 years old, although I would hazard a guess are around 62. ( forty odd years in IT).

Learned assembler on Macs in an Australian university.

Likes to make/eat Cheese. Previously owned a BMW 740il

What's the betting that it would not take too long for someone with but a little more information than El Reg posts too fully determine the real name of our probably Scottish or Irish descendancy poster......

So were moving along quickly with this rather un-anonymous Aussi...lol.

[Oengus, don't take it too seriously, I just wanted to see what kind of profile I could quickly develop just reading through El Reg posts] Anyone that thinks that El Reg is not a social media website, think again...

Brain brainiacs figure out what turns folks into El Reg journos, readers

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: A lot of might, may, and possibly...

I hope for your sake that the air is not blown from the rear end of one of the macaques...

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: More human

Macaques probably don't request high salaries. Surprising that there is not some American Lawyer prepared to defend the annual macaque salary.

Khaptain Silver badge

Hang on a moment

"The researchers believe that activating the caudate nucleus drove the animals to focus more on the negative consequences of the reward, and made them more apathetic about the value of the juice.""

And how do they know that stimulating the caudate nucleus did not make the blast of air more painful, disagreeable, etc...

The cause and effect seems highly debatable here....I think if I had a choice between having my brain "stimulated" with electric probes might actually put me off a lot of things when the other choice is not to have the brain stimulated....

Hackers can cook you alive using 'microwave oven' sat-comms – claim

Khaptain Silver badge

I truly hope so

"It would not be possible for him to hijack the aircraft's core control systems, though, as these are kept strictly separate and locked down. "

Should we therefore "presume" that none of the control systems use SATCOM, not even as a redundant backup for reason a, b or c.....

Scary stuff

ZX Spectrum Vega+ blows a FUSE: It runs open-source emulator

Khaptain Silver badge

Regardless of the score, it must be one of the most scathing reviews that I have read on El Reg. Even thought the device is crap, the review made me laugh, so at least it will end my otherwise boring day on a good note...

I agree that 4/10 appears to be a little over generous...

Crappy feedback on the buttons : he he.

Overall look : Ha ha ha ha ha.

Painted buttons : Hey guys come over and see this article, its a killer...

Thinking about those who invested in this : Rolls on floor, splutters, coughs, tears roll down cheeks and belly starts to ache...

For all the excitement, Pie may be Android's most minimal makeover yet – thankfully

Khaptain Silver badge

"I've been told the ADB backup system is not that reliable"

I have recent experience of trying to take/make full backups in order to clone company phones ( 24 of them). I can confirm that after several hours of trying many variations of ADB parameters and switches that none of them successfully managed to make a complete backup. It definitely creates backup files but it never seems to fully restore everything on the new device.

It might depend on specific needs but I certainly couldn't get ADB to make me a backup of what I wanted on an un-rooted phone. We ended up just doing everything manually, a la Production Chain...

Personally I would not trust it without having 100% managed a full backup / restore on different devices ( same model of telephone).. It might work on the exact same device on which the backup was made , but I don't know as that wasn't useful for our needs.

Khaptain Silver badge

Swipe up on home butt

Does this require toilet paper or does the bare hand suffice ?

The Register's 2018 homepage redesign: What's going on now?

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Lipstick on a pig

Exactly the same as Frank Ly, RSS feeds for me.

The feeds represent zero publicity and leads me directly to the article that interests me. It's far easier than on the eyes to read some basic text without having all the surrounding HTML fluff..

I almost never go to the Front Page as it doesn't offer me anything more than the feeds already offer.

Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: you can put your name on the number plates, that's it.

The car does have the maker's badges. I'd take those off if it was feasible.

BMW do it for a price, and I believe that others do it too. Well at least for the model numbet., Maybe not the actuelle BW hélice.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: A bit late

There aint have been some clevers bastards, lucky bleeders. ( Nostalgia kicks in)

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Advertising from mobile 'phones

My personal hotspot is "Bad Connection" which always make me wonder if others truly believe it is a bad connection.

Some of you really don't want Windows 10's April 2018 update on your rigs

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Stop breaking stuff

"1920x1080 is NOT high resolution."

Hence the "cough" in the OP.. 1920*1080 is nothing more than a basic resolution today which just pissed me of because Intel isn't following suite with the updates.

Khaptain Silver badge

Stop breaking stuff

It seems as though every updates is perfectly executed to break something.

The OEMs are definately not following at the same rate, todays adventure, the last updates f**k around with cheap intel G45 cards and high resolution ( 1920*1080, cough) no longer appears in the list of available options. Intel does not have native G45 drivers for Windows 10 but up until the latest batch things were working just fine...

Result 2 hours spent doing nothing but desperately trying old drivers until one of them worked.

Do updates and remain safe from security exploits : OK. When it breaks your damned system obviously you are safe because you cant get any work done anyway.... gggggrrrrrrr..

And I see no reason that W7 runs fine on older equipement whereas W10 can be a dog to "keep" running correctly...

Enterprise Windows 10 users, Microsoft has some 'quality' patches coming your way

Khaptain Silver badge

Snake biting it's own tail

The eternal problem of how to test outside of production, just in case everything gets borked whilst needing testing to be done in production, where the real data resides...

* Sandboxing wont help because the data is usally on another device.

* Complete and exact copies of production environments are almost impossible to keep up to date without having the budget of MS behind you.

* Some of these bugs are only for extremely rare cases and would be damned hard to test without spending the entire IT budget on testing.....

And these are only the OS bugs, when we add O365 into the affaire then things really

become fun....not.

Sighs in despair as IT never seems to evolve, it just repeats Ad Infinitum..

If Brussels wants Android forks, phone makers aren't helping

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: And the mess that is Android updating

<Rant coming up>

Parmi nous il y a quelques-uns qui parle plusieurs langues...

When someone tries their best to speak or write English when it is their second or third language then I think that they should be welcomed rather than scorned.

Grammar Nazis are Ok when it is obvious that the person writing is a native English speaker, but it's far less necessary for the others.

A little bit of understanding/forgiving can make us all better people...even on El Reg...

<end rant>

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Khaptain Silver badge

A must read on Fridays

I always read this column due to it's lighthearted, yet terribly real, content. It's always refreshing to know that the Mad Bosses and Psychos that we encouter on a daily basis are not just within our own offices...

Thanks for all the good work and best of luck for the new adventure...

Fork it! Google fined €4.34bn over Android, has 90 days to behave

Khaptain Silver badge

The Attrition Game

This is undoubtedly where the game of attrition starts.. and Google are already very experienced....

Popcorn is necessary in huge buckets, 90 days gives good lawyers a reasonable playing field.

Shouting lager, lager... Carlsberg's beer AI can now tell pilsners apart

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: AI - Artificial Ignorance

True, but they too are human and know that taste, feeling and sentiments can change according to a multitude of factors. They also have memories that can relay information based on feeling, personal preferences and personal desire which AI has no need for.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: The real test

Horse Piss probably has more taste.

Like a lot of American Food and Beverages, the wrapper might look pretty but the contents are severely lacking in taste, unless "synthetic" is considered a taste. ( The Americans don't care though as evolution has left them devoid of taste buds)


Khaptain Silver badge

AI - Artificial Ignorance

Beer is like sex, there are days when it is great and days when it is not... A lot depends on the person, environment, what you had to eat the night before, etc etc etc etc

Having "algorithms" test beer is like having a Blow Up Doll" being used to test candidates for porn movies. He might have the meat but not necessarily the talent but the doll wouldn’t know the difference.

Also. robots don’t drink beer and neither do algorithms, they might be able to do a chemical analysis but I doubt that they would appreciate a damned cold beer on a hot day like today and therefore determine if that beer was really exciting to your taste buds or not…

Pseudo Code:

Case ( Beer Origine)

English : Return "poor, lacks taste, almost fizzy water"

German : Return "Not bad, Pilsners can be fine as long as cold"

Belgian : Return "Excellent flavor, great selection and usually very strong".


BGP hijacker booted off the Internet's backbone

Khaptain Silver badge

Good news all round

Like everyone on the planet I hate spam(the electronic kind).. So if this results in even a 5% reduction I am more than happy.

What I don't understand though is why it takes so long to get the wheels moving as proof would appear to be relatively simple to obtain.

Anyway cheers to the AntiSpammers of this world..

US taxman wants AI to do the security checks it seemingly can't do itself

Khaptain Silver badge

"The US tax authority – the Internal Revenue Service – is looking at how AI can secure and protect taxpayers’ data held on its servers."

And they are most certainely looking at how they can "protect" the corporates and drug barons that finance things on the darker side whilst ensuring that Joe Schmoe on his pitance has the book thrown at him...

At last – a use for AI! Predicting an England World Cup victory

Khaptain Silver badge

Stats stats stats

Do they add any Black Swans ( N Taleb) into their algorithms ? If not then they need to try again because that gloomy dark forebording cygnus is more than likely to make an appearance at some point in time and take a long deep laugh at the stats......

Dob in naughty data slurps to top EU court, privacy groups urge

Khaptain Silver badge

Potential Terrorism/Mafia/Illegal Activists

Since we are all considered as potential terrorist/mafioso or illegal activists then we can safely presume that the Govts are not going to stop this activity any time soon.....

Alternative solution : Give us access to the politicians/ministers/governing persons private phone calls, whereabouts and all online/offline activity in order that we too may make judgement on activities performed. We pay for the politicians, wouldn't it be the correct thing to allow us some insight into how they execute their well payed tasks, both in and behind the scenes.....

After all they too might actually be involved potential terrorist/mafioso or illegal activiities....

Happy birthday, you lumbering MS-DOS-based mess: Windows 98 turns 20 today

Khaptain Silver badge


Autoexec.bat, Config.sys,



SETBLASTER=A 220 I5 D1 H5 P330 E620

REM= By HiSpeed CD-ROM Drive Installation Program 8/5/101

REM= device=C\ CD-ROM\CDTECH.SYS /d: mscd001/udma2 /v



At least some of the Greybeards here, must remember the battles that arose from IRQ confilicts...

Israel cyberczar drops hints about country's new security initiative

Khaptain Silver badge

Rather than restrict, it's far better to simply "know"which the Israelis are already very good at....

What Israel's crack majority-women Unit 8200 hackers can teach tech about diversity

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Conscription ?

"Like the Europeans they mostly are?"

People from Iran, Iraq, Egypt are far from being just White Europeans.

Having lived in Israel for a few years I can easily tell you that there are two main groups, Ashkenazi and Spheradic. ( There are also others, indigenous or not)

Ashkenazi could be grouped as Caucasian European

Spheradic could be grouped vaguely as "Middle eastern", some of which are very white, some are not.

It's a huge and very diverse mixture of backgrounds, ethnicity and culture..

There is no such thing as a typical Israeli, other than the fact that they all speak Hebrew ( Modern Hebrew)...

Google-free Android kit tipped to sell buckets

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: How about something small

For around 25000 you can get one of these


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