* Posts by Khaptain

3240 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Yorkshire cops fail to grasp principle behind BT Fon Wi-Fi network

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: I have to defend the police here...

A guy in the pub last night told me about a friend who's neighbour saw what looked like a naked child running around MrXavia's house. I am sure a quick call to the local plod should sort that out.

What do you think Mr Xavia...

Sorry about the tone but the police should react on fact not on speculation.

18,000 Apple employees could get bite of profits with class-action lawsuit

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Hey APPLE!

@Alex : I must point out some facts.

1 : It was Google that coined the phrase "Do no evil", not Apple.

2 : Steve Jobs is dead, so jail time wouldn't actually be very usefull unless his cellmate was a necrophiliac.

3 : Fashist is actually spelt : Fascist ( The word Spelt is the preference of the British, Spelled if you are over the other side of the pond)

Khaptain Silver badge

And they will recover the $10m by asking one of their child labour farms to stop feeding the children 7 days a week, 6 is enough after all....

Or alternatively they could just put a cheaper antenna in the iPhone ( oops..... tried that already and it didn't work, literally)

Nadella: Apps must run on ALL WINDOWS – PCs, slabs and mobes

Khaptain Silver badge

I prefer Noddy

"The key, he said, lies in shaking up a business that has relied too long on processes that it developed in the earliest days of the PC industry."

Strange to want to change the very same processes that made them into some of the richest people on the planet.... Software requirements haven't really change much, I seem to have been doing much the same thing for the last 20 years, the interfaces change a little but everything else remains about the same.. ( Except for the VMs)

"The diversity of products that Microsoft has – from silicon tape-outs to services that we are continuously updating in Azure or Office 365 – is a lot more than when we first created the Microsoft engineering system," Nadella said. "That was for retail, packaged products."

So if these products are not going to be retailed or packaged how does he expect to distribute them. The retail methods and the packaging might change a little but they still must be retailed and packaged in order that the custormer can actually recieve them.

"We are not in hardware for hardware's sake and our first-party hardware will be aligned with our strategic direction," he said.

Then what was it doing before if it wasn't "Aligned with strategic direction".

Nadella really is nothing more than a stockholders sock puppet. Bill, and even Steve to a certain limit, were capable of creating an enthusiastic future.

Nadella just bumps out Buzzwords behind empty phrases, either he is just crap at public speaking and has no imagination or he is just a terrible boss. In either case he shouldn't be going public with speeches like that.. As an investor I would start seriously considering moving MS Stocks out of my portfolio.

He shares a lot with Tim Cook really , neither strikes the chord of desire.

Faced with stiff competition, Facebook just can't satisfy – report

Khaptain Silver badge


Twitter and Facebook I understand but LinkedIn ! It's really a bit too dull to be classed as Social Media.

BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled

Khaptain Silver badge

Agreed the Acronym is a but naff but the phrase sounds great. ( even though it's not by thang)

Cheer up, Nokia fans. It can start making mobes again in 18 months

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Microsoft bought Nokia because ...

I though Microsoft bought Nokia because they wanted the patents....and now they have them.....

HIDDEN packet sniffer spy tech in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert

Khaptain Silver badge


>Of course, to access all these hidden tools you'd need access to the target's iPhone, and Apple's security is invincible, right? Not so fast there: Zdziarski has also uncovered a way to get around this that, while hard for hackers, wouldn't be too tough for law enforcement.

I can only presume that this means "with some help from Apple".

> it's clear Apple owes customers some answers.

I doubt that Apple will provide much of anything to these kinds of findings, they have a new product about to be launched so their interests lie elsewhere for the moment.

If Apple have these kinds of undocumented APIs, it is safe to presume that everyone else does too, whether it be with or without the NSAs blessing.

API : ( Access to Privates Interface) - Don't let coders make you beleive that it means something else.

There's NOTHING on TV in Europe – American video DOMINATES

Khaptain Silver badge

TV - the illness of the 21 century...

When will people realise that giving up TV is like giving up cigarettes: - it releases you from the ensuing illness.

Banning handheld phone use by drivers had NO effect on accident rate - study

Khaptain Silver badge

If I understood the article in the link correctly this study was made during "2008".

I have a very poor memory but I believe that 6 years ago SmartPhone usage was no-where near what it is today. Today people use their smartphones for a plethora of Social Media applications which were not prevalent at the time.

Please, redo this study today and publish the result.

The article also does not state how the managed to ensure that no-one used their phones....

Debian Linux, Android share a bed in upcoming distro

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Dalvik

Don't know why I got the thumbs down as this was simply a question ? If there is something wrong with the question at least have the decency to point out my error.

Khaptain Silver badge


Does this mean that they have Dalvik running correctly or have they managed to remove it and run the Apps is some other kind of sandbox ?

Google shows off new Chrome OS look

Khaptain Silver badge

Oh my eyes

What has happened to interface designers in the last few years, colour schemes seem to have taken a dive. It now appears that the visually disturbing the interface the better...

Windows 8 . Chromes OS (as per photo in article), even my bloody NAS ( Synology - DSM v5.0 ) have been given interface colours and icons that only appear attractive to the under 5s... And no, some of them can't be modified, or at least not without some considerable effort.

Data retention: ASIO says Web browsing habits would need a warrant

Khaptain Silver badge

>Hacker attacks on our national infrastructure [or] espionage attempts to obtain our secrets

Hint : Hide your secrets a little bit better to start of with rather than leaving them lying about.

>“If we can watch traffic going through that third-party computer, discarding anything we don't need

So they will discard the trail left behind your prOn perusal ( pull the other one)... And just how will they decide what is and what is not necassary. After all you might be an aspiring terrorist or a peado so they will just keep everything anyway...

>simply looking at the malicious signatures and where they come from, we have taken a great stride forward,”

Only to find that the comprised PC is being controlled by a CC in another far away country. So in other words it gets them no-where other than being able to spy on your PC....

X marks the chop: Microsoft takes axe to Nokia's Android venture

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Buzzword bingo


That dates back to 22 years ago and is no less valid today as it was then. We have mad huge progress in computing but unfortuantely the same can't be said for the meatbags that use them.

Khaptain Silver badge


>To win in the higher price tiers,

We don't currently compete in this bracket, or at least not on a serious level.

>we will focus on breakthrough innovation.

Up until we were simply focussing on old technology because we had completely lost track of what we were doing..

>that expresses and enlivens Microsoft’s digital work and digital life experiences.

That brings our old technology up to date, we really are that far behind the others.

>In addition, we plan to shift select Nokia X product designs to become Lumia products running Windows.

We realise that an android platform would likely surpass the Windows version so just to avoid the embaressment we will eliminate the android version

>This builds on our success in the affordable smartphone space

Our cheap shit just managed to pass the break even line.

>and aligns with our focus on Windows Universal Apps.

I need to make at least on reference to Windows 8 in order to satisfy the boys....

Not very positive Mr Nadelle.....

Cops nab suspect using CREEPY facial recog system

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Latex Masks

So 6 guys walk into a bank with these on....


Creepy doesn't even begin to describe it, I had no idea that these really existed outside of Hollywood...

Khaptain Silver badge

Latex Masks

So whoever opens up a business selling realistic latex masks, not the BDSM kind, is likely to become very popular amongst the underworld.

It would be interesting to use the Chief Superintendants face for example.

PICS: Nokia Lumia 930 – We reveal its ONE unique selling point

Khaptain Silver badge

Lumia 930 - not very luminous.

After reading the whole article I didn't find anything particularly negative but also didn't find anything particularly positive.

It reads like "Just another phone". the market is already saturated with great phones in the upper price band.

Other than the desire to pass into the MS Garden I really can't see any compelling reason for anyone leaving the comfort of the Android/Apple gardens. I could say the same thing for any one the top of the range phones for the moment though.

I am actually surprised that the Google Nexus is not actually running away with all the prises for the moment as it is cheaper and fills in all the usual tick boxes.

Glad to see the article didn't concentrate solely on the camera, kudos.

CERN data explains how Higgs heavies other matter

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Why is it so hard to see?

I gave up after the first couple of paragraphs.

Why is it so hard to see?

British cops cuff 660 suspected paedophiles

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: for some definition of paedophile...

@Skelband : Agreed

> but looking at pictures being a crime is a step too far.

Imagine the number of arrests the day that looking at the Youporn/Xhamster kind of porn is made illegal ?

( Not speaking for myself of course, I definately wouldn't look at naked bodied people, doing things that naked bodied people sometimes do together, or with friends, or with multiple friends).

Mine's 0.2 inches bigger than yours (says future fanboi of his iWatch)

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Remember kids ...

You can if you use the other spelling, "wellpaidarsehole".

If BlackBerry killed off its social gaming platform, would anybody notice?

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: invest $71m...


ROI = $-71m

( A loss for the company but not for the individuals that recieved the intial $71m and successfully managed to shuffle away a large part ot some offshore account)

New leaked 'Windows 8 screenshot': The Start Menu strikes back

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Now remove the Tiles @Khaptain

Up until the moment that they offered tiles no-one was complaining, everyone was able to do as he pleased.

The Tiles aka .Metro changed that optic... There was no option other than to use this new, unwanted by most, method, the paradigm in itself that was not accepted.

Khaptain Silver badge

Now remove the Tiles

Anything +Tile+ related will be like have your eyes poked with a sharp thing, so that has to go too. If they remove the tiles and the kiddy icon set we will be back to a nice comfortable desktop.

I genuinelly believe that MS have made a major error with W8 and I do not believe that they will fully recover from it. MS has now moved solely into the hands of "the "unvisionaries"...

Definition "unvisionary" : n,m : Those that are incapable of understanding that ripping up the playing field means that you can no longer play........

Mobile, cloud, social? Data? Nadella strings sexy words together

Khaptain Silver badge

Cloudy vision

Microsoft is not a one man team and Nadella has become the manager of that team. Unfortunately he might be a great engineer but not a great manager. If he can't create the spark that will ignite his teams motivation/innovation/drive then he should return to waht hwe was good at rather than remain where he is.

Hard-working and bright does not make you an shining light.

Microsoft appear to be in a very "cloudy" situation, and I don't mean the asure kind, their ideas are vague, they lack direction and appear to be lost.....

On saying that though, I wouldn't like to be in Nadella's position, when you start of in Pole Position you have to fight three times harder to remain there.

Samsung threatens to cut ties with supplier over child labour allegations

Khaptain Silver badge

>There is no other way to lower costs than reduce your outgoings, be it substandard construction or low wages.

Then you shouldn't be in business.

Will GCHQ furtle this El Reg readers' poll? Team Snowden suggests: Yes

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: I feel such a failure

There is no need to answer anyway as the results were determined well in advance of the questions.

What a lovely government, they do all of the work for you..

July 14, 2015. Tuesday. No more support for Windows Server 2003. Good luck

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: What's the real danger ?

@asdf - No problem ;-)

Yes, as soon as the golden words are mentioned "corporate bureaucracy" it is easy to understand the root cause of many a problem.

In the perfect world I would have a team of developers/admins constantly updating all of our apps/servers, but I don't pay the bills, so here in the real world things are a lot less glamorous...

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: What's the real danger ?


>Sounds like your shop is more smallish but Enterprise IT can't really think like that.

I can easilly understand why you would think that. For obvious reasons I can't mention who I work for but I can say that it is a large Multi-National with a more than 100K direct employees. It really is a very large company.

We do have the normal Enterprise IT attitude but not always and not for all business lines. It all boils down to money, project investement commitees and project priority calendars. Budgets have not been made available, nor suitable priority given to some of the older applications and as such they remain static, they can't be decommissioned but at the same time have no resource allocation for upgrades/renewals.

The regional DPP is well aware of the situation but also has his hands tied by the bean-counters and higher priority projects - especially those concerning new business.....

And in the mean-time I have to keep the local shop running... it's one of those catch 22 situations in which I can't win..... ( notice how I used "I" rather than the company).

I always thought that the large corporate world would always have the latest technology etc.....how wrong I was.... ( they do have some nice stuff to play with though).

Khaptain Silver badge

What's the real danger ?

Except for web facing front end servers what would be the real danger here ? I have two servers that have been running W2003 for the last six years, they are rebooted about twice a year for maintenance and they never cause any problems.

The physical machines were transfered to VM,s two years ago during a hardware refresh, they are both running a legacy application that will not get updated for a few more years, if ever. The application works, the user like it and it costs us nothing in maintenance. We have no need to update it....

Why would I want to update ? How serious do you guys treat security updates for back end servers with little or no internet connection. The proxy configurations are not configured on either machine so they have no direct connexion to the web.

Female! ex-Yahoo! coder! says! female! boss! fired! her! for! refusing! sex!

Khaptain Silver badge

Palace ?

Are you sure that it is Purple and not Pubian...

iWatch 'due November'... Y'all know what time it is? Now you do

Khaptain Silver badge


It is important to highlight the word "directly".....

Khaptain Silver badge

The rumors started around the end of 2012 and Apple are kinda responsable for some of the rumors , and since lots of others already exist, then yes they are kinda "late for a very important date".

Can we have a El Reg unit which can quantify "Rumor to Market" time..

Murdoch calls for ISPs to be liable for users' activities

Khaptain Silver badge

Firing squad

Will he also request bringing back corporal punishment and putting himself on trial..

Microsoft wants to lure biz users with fondleable Windows 8.1 'Apportals'

Khaptain Silver badge

They are doing it again

Wll someone at Microsoft please listen to the following

Please stop trying to dictate how we work........Each of us is different and we need to do things in our own personalized manner......We already have links, icons, menus, shortcuts, favorites etc in order that we can organize our work, we don't need this silly method that you are proposing, leave it to us to decide.

In 20 years of IT I have never seen 2 people organise their desktop in the same manner, why would MS think that suddenly that is going to change... There are some very intelligent people at MS but why have they assigned the absurd, strange and weird ones to the W8 interface design team.

Sydney coppers clobber cabbie carder crims

Khaptain Silver badge

>In August last year, NSW Police busted a Romanian carder ring which had used a 3D printer to produce skimmers subsequently installed across Sydney ATMs. ®

So how long before 3D printers get banned.....

As for the the alliteration, an alternative would have been to replace Sydney with Cobbers

Cobbers clobber cabbie carder crims....

UK gov rushes through emergency law on data retention

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: No problem for me then !

"Any person not in a continuously vegetative state"

I suppose that that definition will exclude most of the cabinet then.

Khaptain Silver badge

No problem for me then !

>The ability to access information about communications and intercept the communications of dangerous individuals is essential to fight the threat from criminals and terrorists targeting the UK.

Since I am not a "dangerous indiviual", or not that I know of, does that mean that my data will not be recorded.

Or is there another method classifying what a dangerous individual actually is.

Can someone actually provide a detailed definition of "dangerous indiviual".

Snowden leaks latest: NSA, FBI g-men spied on Muslim-American chiefs

Khaptain Silver badge

Does it really matter

They also spy on the President, the vice-president and anyone else that dirt can be thrown at when they no longer need them.

It's the American, European, Asian, Arab, African , South American way of life : in other circles it's called Politics...

'Ribbed' for your pleasure: Jony Ive unveils NAKED IPHONE

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Seal


Do you mean Phoque and if you do I presume you know it has another meaning.

Khaptain Silver badge


Now you will be able to see all those parts that are not user replaceable.

Oh look :

There's the ram that I can't change.

There's the battery that I can't change.

etc, etc

Also if your iDevice get's dirty on the inside, dust etc, now you will be able to see the dirt/dust whereas before it was not a problem....

The Windows 8 dilemma: Win 8 or wait for 9?

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Time for some truly revolutionary GUIs?

@Pete 2

We already have the technology but it just isn't as functional, or intelligent enough that it can currently replace the KVM solutions that we use today.

The reason that keyboards and mice are still in use is because they are simple to use ( with only a very small learning curve).

I wouldn't like to suggest that we will never use any other method but for the moment nothing is better that what we currently have.

Swiping a tactile screen has become the defacto interface on SmartPhones because it works for that particular format. Swiping a large tactile PC is a pain, a mouse is a far better medium - for the moment.

Evolution/advances in technology will always provide us with alternatives but until those alternatives have some distinct improvement over the existant then I doubt that anything will change.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Time for some truly revolutionary GUIs?


>So the user can write, speak or draw their request

So what's wrong with the Keyboard and mouse solution, they are proven, they dont break down very often and the simply work.

Speaking requires interpretation.

Writing requires interpretation.

Drawing requires interpretation.

Interpretation leads to false positives, then having to repeat the command again and again, a long learning phase etc etc ...

In other words, they are far more pain than they are worth....for anything but minimal commands ( swiping on a smartphone is fine)

Khaptain Silver badge

Desktop != Tablet != Smartphone

They wanted to create the same experience for the various platforms : fail....

They made MAJOR changes to a very functional OS ( XP , W7) rather than taking small steps = fail.

The expect that users will forget 10-15 years of habits and instantly move over to a new paradigm = fail.

All they had to do was move in small steps, test the water and either implement or remove...

Now they are in a position that they need to make new radical changes in order that the userbase falls back in love... but that is not going to happen overnight.

The tablet world is not the proffessional world is not the smartphone world... Different userbases, requirements and situations. MS Please, please, please stop confusing them, I can easily handle the differences between the three, they really don't need to have the same interface..

How to make $7,000 a month and benefits: Be a teen tech INTERN

Khaptain Silver badge

Syntax error

Coding does not = innovation.

The world is full of great coders, linux stands as proof of this fact. What the world is not full of though is innovators and I am not convinced that that is something that money can buy...

Bloodied Samsung's profits down 25% as it clings to mobe crown

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Saturation?

>You can't soundly conclude either (i) that any particular proportion of sales were people buying into the hype (though almost certainly some will have been); or (ii) that laptop sales will climb.

Agreed it is very difficult to make a true conclusion but :

Who actually did buy the tablets ? The professional market, the only people that I have ever seen using tablets are sales droids showing product presentation... I don't seen them on public transport during commuting hours and I don't see them in the streets as we do smartphones.... So who the hell bought the damned things.

What I do beleive though is that Joe Public simply doesn't need these gadgets. He actually has very little usage for them. It would be extremely difficult to build a use case model that was actually serious. That is why I believe that most of them are hype driven, why else would Joe Public buy one ?

My wife works in the education field and all of the staff were given iPads but no-one uses the damned things because they don't truly provide the platform that is required... Again these were hype driven purchases, Silver Bullet if you will. There is an once opended iPad box on top of my fridge that we simply can't find use for and I am convinced that we are not alone in that respect.. And from what I understood all of the schools, at least in my region, were given them.... I don't consider this as professional, this is educational, which is a different market althoug no better in the end..

I find that a reasonable smartphone covers 90% of Joe Publics real requriements. The tablets might cover 5%....

The market might be saturated but it also can't fnd any true prupose for tablets that would justify an upgrade or renewal.. the fad has come and gone

>that laptop sales will climb.

I don't believe that laptops will climb back up either.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Saturation?

Tablets have suffered from Silver Bullet syndrome since the beginning. They have always promised to deliver something wondefull but in the end they are for the majority just more landfill.

There are a few examples of where tablets are usefull but they are in a very small niche and certainely not anywhere near the percentage of the unwashed masses that bought one to realise that they dont really have any need or requirement for one.

Tablets were for a whle a marketing wet dream but that bubble has now gone pop.

I can't imagine laptops coming back from the dead, so what's next, I have no idea but it will probably be as usefull as a fishing rod for a yodelling ostrich.

Unless of course someone brings out "FlipTopSmartLapTab" that has triangular corners and is capable of time travel.......or at least that's what it will say on the box...

Touch of sarcasm in there, nah not me...

The Ostrich might be thirsty after all that yodelling so I'll buy him one of these while he reflects on where to find a small lake.- ------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Russian MP fears US Secret Service cuffed his son for Snowden swap

Khaptain Silver badge


Guam, is that like a cut down versionof GAUntanaMo. I suppose that is better than being dropped of in Guano.

What's the betting that Putin couldn't give a shit about Seleznev, Snowdon is a much larger fish... a very public fish.. like Jaws but with glasses.

Unless of course Seleznev is actually an NSA/FSB special/double agent/spy character who has already hacked Putin's/Obama's personal smartdevice..... dream on....

It's finally happened: Bloke builds BOFH-style goofing-off cattle prod

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Why would I do that?

"Ordered from an agriculture store in Germany"

"Cattle Prods" for getting the cattle to react.....

"Vacuum pumps" for sucking on teats.....

"Pointed nose rings" which can be inserted into orifices...

"Large vibrating sticks" apparently for stimulation during the insemination periods.

"Whips" all the good cowboys had a whip n'est-ce pas.

And which is actually a front end for the largest S&M distributor in Europe...

I am sure that there are others but not being a daily "Skins" mag reader I must admit to lacking the finer details of aforementioned hobby/lifestyle/choice/fantasy.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019