* Posts by Khaptain

3240 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Google Glassholes are undateable – HP exec

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: @ Oldskater (using mobile phone on a date)

Shouldn't that be "sexting"

Khaptain Silver badge

There are advantages

Let's say you are a nerd, if, and I mean if you manage to get out on a date, the chances are it won't be with a Monica Belluci lookalike.

Here comes the advantages, a little bit of a Google Glass overlay and hey presto, your date suddenly looks fantastic. Depending on time, location etc your date could "virtually mutate" into the rabbit, fembot, sexlet of your dreams...as often as you please.

Guns don't scare people, hackers do: Americans fear identity theft more than shooting sprees

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Re: Strangers....

I think that knifes, bottles, baseball bats, a plethora of heavy tools, clubs, machetes, axes etc all belong in this same category.

A gun is just a tool, probalby more effficient than some other tools but a tool nonetheless. What you have to fear is the person behind the gun not the gun itself.

Try walking down a a dark alley in Glasgow after the pubs close, if someone even asks you for the time, in the usual Glasgow accent, you will understand quickly that a gun is not required in order to increase the fear factor.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Elephant in the room

Youv'e been watching the Yankee Marshall haven't you ...

Whistleblower behind PM's daughter scholarship leak must wait for fate

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Clercial Error

Soon there will be a press release stating that Tony Abbot does not actually enter the details into the pecuniary interest register himself and that the person who does obviously made a small clerical error. Amendments have been made and the regster has been updated.

Meanwhile new laws will quickly be passed in order to ensure that illegal database entry is punishable by 40 years in a hard labour camp. No relation to the Freya Newman case should be inferred.

RUMPY PUMPY: Bone says humans BONED Neanderthals 50,000 years B.C.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: "Worst one-night stand EVER"

Don't forget the Sky Fairy ! But that leads to confusion as according to the Sky Fairy books we weren't around 50000 years ago.....

Microsoft promises Windows 10 will mean two-factor auth for all

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: What?


Were you talking about Windows or Religion? Your reply could actually correspond to both depending on whether you are a priest or a programmer.

[Chuckles to self whilst reflecting on whether or not the answer truly is 42....]

Khaptain Silver badge

It's Ok you can compare them as they both share a common element.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, people actually believed in them.

Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

I would be surprised to learn that more than 50% of Americans could actually pronounce it correctly.

Most cloud apps flout EU data protection rules – study

Khaptain Silver badge

It's all about the money.......dum dum dum di dum

The nature of the cloud knows no boundaries..... neither does the sales bod who just wants to achieve his objectives for the month.

That's PROFESSOR Woz to you from now on, young whippersnapper

Khaptain Silver badge

>Magic Lab director Professor Mary-Anne Williams has allowed herself to be quoted saying Wozniak is the “coolest person in the Universe” and “loves the energy, the vibe and the robots in the Magic Lab.”

I always believed that that it was Mr Beeblebrox that was the "coolest person in the Universe”.

Are you a gun owner? Let us in OR ELSE, say Blighty's top cops

Khaptain Silver badge

Licenced firearms falling into the wrong hands are far less of a problem than unlicenced arms. In France for example the craze amongst the bad guys has been for the acquisition of AK47s. These firearms come mainly from the Baltic regions and no amount of door knocking is going to stop that flow of arms.....

Within certain circles it is just ass easy to buy a gun than it is to buy small to medium amounts of drugs. Which basically equals - readilly available...

Khaptain Silver badge

>need to get an Personal defence device my self , a fire extinguisher (and maybe a golf ball) and Purple Die spray

As long as they are designed by Uziel Gal rather than Philippe Starck you should be Ok. Just make sure that you tidy them up afterwards otherwise the TidyPolice might come a kicking down your door.

Khaptain Silver badge

“Our aim is not to catch out gun owners,” said ACPO's Chief Constable Andy Marsh, their lead for firearms licensing matters, “which is why we are giving notice that these visits will be taking place. We want to work with the shooting community to ensure gun owners are aware of how to keep their firearms secure and, where appropriate, give advice to individual owners.”

A little leaflet would be just fine, as a legal firearm owner I can't imagine what "justifiable" reason they could really have.

As both a hunter and a sports shooter I know many, many people that own firearms, none of which need Mr Bobby knocking on the door to remind them how to do things, they already know how to be secure, responsable. ( Mr Bobby won't change the minds of those that don't)

First of all Mr Bobby doesn't probalby know correct firearms procedure as he is not allowed to carry, use, own a firearm himself( unless of course he has been properly trained and in that case he already has much better things to do with his time, like catching the bad guys).

Secondly, most "legal" firearms owners are already responsable, they had to foot the bill and keep footing the bill for their arms and/or munitions, neither of which are cheap and are both a constant reminder that what you possess are not toys.

Hunters know from first hand experience what guns do, if you have gutted a deer and saw the damage modern munition do you will know what I mean. No one wants that happening to them. All hunters have to do training courses, or at least now they do. So yes, they know about reponsability and security.

Sport shooters are "obliged" to follow strict procedures at the range. Guns are in an unuseable state whilst being tranported, munitions are kept seperate. As the range no gun comes out it''s case unless it is being used. Muzzles always point down range, guns never out of sight, loaded guns never laid down, guns on tables must have the chamber shown etc etc etc etc etc. So yes, they already know about reponsability too.

So who exactly are these laws supposed to apply to, who "legally" owns a gun that doesn't already know about their responsabilities/security.

If I am a bad guy, it doesn't matter about these kinds of laws, take away my guns and I will use a crossbow, baseball bat, hammer, catapult, fork, half brick, piece of two by four, rottweiller, broom handle or in the last, wife..... I will always find a method to cause harm if that is my intended goal.

I know that every year there are firearms accidents, very few are actually accidents, many of them are just down to plain stupidity and that can't be resolved by handing out lessons on firearms safety.....

I can understand that these laws apply to "illegal" owners but certainely not for the legal owners. My home is my home, it has taken years of sweat and labour, as much as the IT industry can create sweat and labour and I do not see any valid reason for Mr Bobby to have the powers to enforce entry just because I "legally" own firearms. I don't mind being asked by invitation, but I certainely cannot agree to being forced. I am after all doing absolutely nothing that goes against the law..

It's a long rant but it's Sunday and this pisses me off... These damned people are making me worried that the future is going to get bad....I can only imagine that what they really want is to further discourage people from owning firearms. We must ask ourselves why.....

Cloud skills certification can add zeros to your pay cheque

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: *** Cloud is a very important piece of the whole technology "milieu" ***

Within the technology "milieu", Pointy haired boss types would be the equivalant of "brosses a chiottes."

Milieu gives it an international flavour and thereby easier to sell to the ExCom crowd.

["Brosses a chiottes" = Extremely low level French term for "Toilet Brushes".]

EU Competition chief: So what if I didn't tame Google? You're all 'irrational' anyway

Khaptain Silver badge

Who is pure enough ?

I can't think of many people that would turn down what I presume Google would offer as "niceties" in order that the various decisions be held back, postponed, upset etc...

Apple's new iPADS have begun the WAR that will OVERTURN the NETWORK WORLD

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Re: What Apple doesn't say

Not really, what is important is the contract that you have with the operator not with Apple, your Telco can they can provide you with a new sim card ( probably at cost).

The fact that SIM cards are not being issued will probably be a gift in the end for the operators as it is one less thing to go wrong, is a reduction in production costs and finally doesn't change the fact that the client will stay have to pay his monthly bills.

Prehistoric swingbelly KANGAROOS were TOO FAT to jump – scientists

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What size ?

This is what I read.

These massive breasts were also fatter than modern day beasties, weighing some 220kg.

Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy

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Nice pussy

140k for a piece of pussy, that must be one fine looking pussy. I wonder if it one of those hairless varieties ?

Bono apologises for iTunes album dump

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I would suggest that in a vote for the world's most disliked, cheesiest, unbelievable, most pretentious music person, Bono would fill in the top 10 positions.

Don't wait for that big iPad, order a NEXUS 9 instead, industry little bird says

Khaptain Silver badge

L stands for ?


Windows 10: Forget Cloudobile, put Security and Privacy First

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: rant-like journalism


I will give you a thumb up for having stated, albeit a bit late, the fact that neither Ritalin or Dexedrine should be messed with. A long time ago I knew "speed junkies" that would inject Ritalin when no other amphetamines were available. The results were not pretty.

But a thumb down for the ADHD publicity.. It has already endlessly been discussed on the forums with extreme prejudice from both sides. Depending on the level of ADHD, almost everyone could be diagnosed with it.

I personally believe that the over-publication/mediatisation could result in a negative outcome whereby the "Upper Range " sufferers receive far less needed attention because it would then become a "common / less serious / more diluted problem" . I do agree that things should be spoken about though just with a little less mediatisation.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: rant-like journalism

Agreed, Ritalin should certainely not be used within the same statement as caffeine.

Ritalin, and its abuse, can lead to some extremely difficult situations, it is a prescription drug for a reason. Unfortunately some doctors seem to prescribe it far too easily.

Most of the people that I work with also have low attention spans, and I mean within a professional environment, but I would not consider them as requiring Ritalin, Caffeine or any other drug, that's just not serious.

The contemporary working environment has us constantly shifting between tasks, the attention span is often never more than an hour or so on the same subject. Shit there are days when I feel as though I am shifting every 5 minutes or so.

Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: It's common sense.

I like both, it all depends on the cooking and the sauce, if any..

As for the deer....It's hard to beat a piece of backstrap cooked to perfection. Simple recipe as follows.

Medium to high heat oil in a frying pan.

Place backstrap steaks in oil - 2 minutes on each side - just leave them to cook on their own

Remove, put on plate, cover with foil for 10 mins.

Return to frying pan, but butter this time and a little fresh parsley. ( about a minute per side - basting with the butter).

Some lightly boiled, slightly salted carrots on the side.

Red wine of course, venison is usually too strong for white, difficult to advise but you can't go wrong with a Cote Rotie. ( Condrieu is just south of Lyon, it's worth dropping in for a bottle of two - maturity after the 5 year mark).

Just delicious....

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Key Words, Natural Cycle

>Fascinated that using bullets is hunting as man has for thousands of years. Gives me a new perspecitve on our forefathers up to about the 15th century. So life was not as tough. I suppose they had decent waterproofs too.

Let me have a think about that, this will be my poor attempt at justification.

Man once used his hands, got bitten and probably eaten - Darwins law is progress here.

Man found that throwing stones was better but still not effective enough - the mass was there but not speed, oh shit here comes Darwin again.

Man realised that using a sling improved the speed of the small stones at least - but they lacked knock down power. ( Knock knock, hello Mr Darwin its you again)

Man had fire but didn't yet know how to mix it with stones.

Skip forward a few 100 thousand years.

Man then goes through a long slow period of learning/creating bows and arrows, crossbows ( small projectiles on a stick), catapults/trebuchets ( slow large projectiles ), maces and clubs etc.

Et voila , the miracle "gunpowder" arrives, now we could mix fire, small projectiles and develop enough energy to knock down, ie kill, living things.

The progression has always been comprised of small projectiles being thrown at increasinlgy higher speed an developing increasing amounts of energy (Joules).

But even today I still have to go out in the cold and rain, often returning empty handed, require the patience of a sloth, and when possible manage to cleanly hit a running, jumping small framed 20 kg Roe deer whilst it darts between the trees and bushes and all within a 3 second time frame. That part has never changed.

Most importantly though, it gets me away from the screen for a couple of hours on the weekends, which is never a bad thing.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Key Words, Natural Cycle

>Care to explain why it should not be done for profit?

As soon as financial gain becomes the primary goal the standards usually go down. Intially standards might go up but that usually doesn't last long.

Khaptain Silver badge

Key Words, Natural Cycle

This park is doing the right thing, as long as it is not done for profit.

Just as man has done for the last 250 000 years, I hunt. Recently I was lucky enough to have reloaded my own bullets, stalked, killed, skinned, gutted, butchered, cooked, served and then enjoyed eating some deer.

When you go through all of these steps you are reminded at every stage about where meat really comes from. The brutal facts exist, if you eat meat, then you have directly or indirectly induced the death of an animal.. Many people seem to forget or push to the back of their minds this fact...

When you kill and eat an animal you gain far more respect for animals than most people would like to believe.

I doubt very much that man would have survived if he had not been a meat eater.

By the way calling a deer, "Bambi" is a tactic in order to induce sympathy.. Dead Bambi would taste just the same as dead deer. Would it please the Defend the Animals crowd if we gave lettuce and tomatoes names too ?

Snapchat 'hack' pics mostly clothed user snaps, odd bits of legacy pr0n – report

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Underage ?

Ooohhh, after clicking on the "educational link " I see that it is not so far from the truth.....

( I do not buy newspapers so I suppose that I am a bit out of touch as far as the daily rags are concerned ).

Khaptain Silver badge

Underage ?

Has the underage stuff moved into mainstream now or is this El Reg hack inadvertantly admitting something that publically he/she probably shouldn't ?

What's next, "I thoroughly checked the material but didn't find any pics of rabid preteen dwarfs licking donkey balls whilst suspended from the rafters of the local orphanage".

Samsung: Thought your PIPE was FAT? Check our 4.6 GIGABIT WiFi

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Not for Fanbois.

>Know any other nation comparable in size to the US that's doing better across the board?

Europe is not so bad if you consider it a nation.

Sponsored content

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Sponsored content

I never come into the forum but this article has encited me to actually create a new thread, Dogged beat me to it.

WTF is this sponsored s***... Unsurprisingly the "comments" button has been removed...

Dear El Reg, if you want to display sponsor stuff, please clearly label it so int the TITLE.....that way we can immediately avoid it.

Clickbait, oh how I love thee....

Britain’s snooping powers are 'too weak', says NCA chief

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: There's a germ of a good idea here...


1st time I have seen this "word" used in an article on El Reg. Outside of it's origins I think it quite well analogizes contemporary media techniques of disinformation and infobaiting.


Shift up, gran! Microsoft turns living room into AR game 'space'

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Prior Art

You do know what LSD is the acronym for ?

Khaptain Silver badge

Prior Art

I was doing this 30 years ago with pre-existing technology.. It was total immersion, with fantastic characters and unusual, read weird, story lines. The sounds were amazing and it was a full body experience. I could extremely portable and it didn't cost a fortune.

What was this fantastic technology known as you ask : Lysergics I would respond.

Windows 10's 'built-in keylogger'? Ha ha, says Microsoft – no, it just monitors your typing

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Frankly speaking Khaptain if anyone is doing their banking............


As much as I agree with you, I digress that banking was a little bit extreme. But I can easilly imagine them logging into Github accounts, email accounts and possibly testing VPN connections which would be valid scenarios for testing.

Khaptain Silver badge

Key Strikes Yes - Letters NO

I can understand the need to see how often the Ctrl, Alt, Alt GR and the Windows Key are pressed and even the ensemble of letter keys but I do not see the need to store or collect the individual letter keys.

This is simply wrong. This cannot be justified, we already know which words and letters are the most common, these are already established facts.

Letters include, Passwords, user names, bank codes etc... simply unjustifiable. And when people know this they will change their habits which will skew MS results...

Alsi if MS are doing it,m then the haxors will follow, they will simply hook and chain these "accepted" procedures.... fail.

Apple's iPhone 6 can REVERSE BALDNESS (and cause it, too)

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: "It catches my scruff in the seam"

Alternatively, if the aforementioned scruff had been of the "nasal capillary" variety...

Apple to unveil new iPads, iMacs and OS X Yosemite on 16 October, claim sources

Khaptain Silver badge

Definition required

Please advise on the difference betwen the definition of the word "New" and the word "Repackaged"..

My employer, comply with data protection law? Don't think so – say 3 in 4 office drones

Khaptain Silver badge

Compliance .... aaaaaarrrrgrggggghhhhhhh

Anyone that works for any reasonably large sized corporate structure knows only to well what compliance means.

1 : Pray that no-one actually looks into the company ERP/Database and find the table that holds the "unencrypted" cards numbers... Shh no-one knows they are there...

2 : Filling out compliance forms stating that things are 100% secure because the contrary will mean a hell of a lot of work to resolve, improve, modify.....and no sponsoring

3 : Agree that compliance is necassary but cry about the lack of funds/fte's in order to bring systems up to date.

4 : That cringing feeling when you see your ISMs number or email address pop up on the screen...

5 : Hope that your department is not the one that gets picked by the quality control office....

Vanished blog posts? Enterprise gaps? Welcome to Windows 10

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Windows 7 with a flat theme


I do not know many people that consider W7 as being Non-Responsive. Those under the hood enhancements are indeed welcome but they will not interest JoePublic, they are far more interesting to the IT crowd.

Personally I can't really see what advantage I will obtain from 10 over 7. Personaly I am almost finished moving to a complete Linux environment but I have to keep up with MS for professional reasons. Windows 10 will not have enough on offer to sway my decision.

Khaptain Silver badge

Windows 7 with a flat theme

The article is interesting; it shows that MS have almost nothing new that will stir up new media frenzy...

Honestly it read as though they have backstopped, ripped out what people didn't like, almost everything W8 related and simply left a couple of tiles here and there for good measure.

I am not complaining, W8 had a light footprint, hopefully 10 will retain this. But on the whole it just looks like W7 with a flat theme. (This flat scheme and colours thing is really off-putting and really not encouraging).

All very lacking really.

Microsoft's nightmare DEEPENS: Windows 8 market share falling fast

Khaptain Silver badge

What about Gartner's results

According to Gartner, Windows 10 will become the next best thing since the invention of fire. And because it is so wondefull , PC sales will fly throught the roof, everyone will buy 3 tablets, own 2 iWatches and have at least 4 connected 3D full wall TVs with every single electronic item in your house wired to the Internet of Things. All of this because market trending tells you so.....

You think this sounds like bollocks, well have a read at Gartners view on W8 ( dated 2012)

Windows 8

The only valid thing they said about Windows 8 wat that is changes Windows as we know it. They couldn't have been closer to the truth.... except that it was for the worse

Poeple actually pay this company for it "analysis" of markets.......

Ingredient found in TASTY BEER is GOOD for your BRAIN

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: GAZZA'S been researching this for years...

>Gérard Depardieu however could be more capable of it, but he only seems to want to drink wine.

I am sure that he is probably quite happy to down a pint or two of some of those tasty Belgian beers. I am heading of to Brussels next week and looking forward to our pre-meeting rdv, in the pub where else.

Windows 10: One for the suits, right Microsoft? Or so one THOUGHT

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Enable clipboard on the command prompt?

Open a command prompt window.

Click Top left corner for the menu

Select properties

Enable QuickEdit Mode

Now you can easily select text with the mouse and just hit enter to copy the text to the clipboard( obviously once in the clipboard you can paste into any other application)


Select and copy text from any other application then click on the command prompt window and Right Click ( it will perform a paste)

All of the above can also be done using the Menu->Edit-commands if QuickEdit is not active.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Can't wait

In linux definately.....in windows not a lot except for breaking out of batch files.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Can't wait

Must admit I didn't read it as sarcastic the first time either but now that you mention it yes it probably is.

It's easy to read as though they were being serious though, since it is not obvious how to use clipboard support within a command window due to it not using the standard ctrl-c, ctrl-v shortcuts..

Bash bug flung against NAS boxes

Khaptain Silver badge

Synology users Ok

Just had a quick check, My Synology box is running Busybox with 'ash' shell so glad not to be amongst the shell shocked hit list of potential targets...

That PERSONAL DATA you give away for free to Facebook 'n' pals? It's worth at least £140

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Real or imaginary

So we have a 48 year born on Aprils Fools day that smashes goats nuts for a living. With an income of 50K we can safely assume that his middle class status affords him some small luxurys or hobbies.

So we have an age group, a profession , we can only pray that he is a qualifed Vet and we have a location. We also have at least one hobby, perusal AND participation on the El Reg forums, so we can assume that he also has a modicum of humour..

Given the location and age we might start by offering some Yachting activity related publicity, golf clubs, some nice nikon binos in case he is an avid bird watcher - proximity to nature reserve or even some 4*4 vehicules with which he can visit aforementioned future Eunuchs, thereby appealing to his masculine side. (or even some new Nike trainers due to proximity of what appears to be the longest pier in existance.)

There appears to be several small farms, zoo and parks within a reasonable distance so lets presume that the "subject" travels to and from these location for professional purposes. A nice little GPS unit, a set of tires, breakdown assurance, why not....

Now what else could we serve up to a man that handles goats nut on a daily basis..... whilst remaining legal...

Special iPhone trousers will ease Apple into the fashion world

Khaptain Silver badge

Burn baby burn

Quick question : do lithium batteries, or whatever they use now, leak acid.... maybe that burning sensation isn't the clap after all. The iProne 6+ does have a rather large battery after all.

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