* Posts by Khaptain

3254 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Apple knob refusenik Sir Jony Ive handed award - for talking BOLLOCKS

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Re: Rejected alternatives

Appendice not Appendix , lol

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Rejected alternatives

Initially that particular appendix was to be named the "Jony Knob" but apparently the shareholders couldn't agree on what a Jony was...

Another nomination was "the wee button on the side", but Jock MacTavish was just given a hard stare for his lacklustre, yet correct suggestion.

The 2nd tier marketing department were also slapped for their suggesion of "The most unbelievably amazing , magically shiny, magnificantly superb bringer of untold riches, 360° circular infinite adjustment device". The shareholders weren't actually capable of retaining that many words in one sentence.

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Re: Talking of plain English

I think that one of the reasons for which I gave up a watch was due to the fact the I wear it on my right wrist, which is the same side as my mouse hand... The watch strap/buckle would rub/click/clank on the desk, catch on the mousepad ( if anyone still remembers what they are) and generally be a damned nuisance.

And no, before anyone makes the obvious statement, I refuse to wear it on the left hand, just as I won't/refuse/do not want to eat with a fork in my left hand.

I am not left handed, it is just that personally I feel that certain tasks are much easier "the other way round".

GOOAALLL! Back of the net! 'Millions of dollars' score .football gTLD

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.com is still the high value gtld

It's hard to imagine why there will be any winners. The more gTlds that exist, the further the markets are divided into niches and hence lowers inherent value.

What's next .footballleague1, .footballleague2, .footballleague3 etc

Microsoft shareholders wave through CEO Satya Nadella's massive pay package

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Future with Nadella

>The CEO also promised great things for the forthcoming Windows 10 operating system launch.

Forget the "great things" and just add "security" on a serious level. Make Windows 7 a little bit lighter on resources ,a la W8, throw in a Linux level of security, give the interface a less flat, less blinding my eyes look ( same goes for Office). and everyone will be satisfied.

I would rather see improvements on the existing rather than more poor efforts to create new. In the workplace we need solid, not shiny...

>expanded on his cloud strategy to get Microsoft apps on every internet-equipped device on the planet.

This is going to be an area where they will fail miserably. MS Embedded anything has never managed to win anyones hearts, and certainely not whilst the likes of Linux remains free...

Question : Nadella will receive $90 million per year, what exactly is required of a man for whom the shareholders are prepared to pay almost $2 million per week ?

Google kills CAPTCHAs: Are we human or are we spammer?

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Re: I'll be glad to see them gone

>If it takes you 3 tries, and "today’s artificial intelligence technology can solve even the most difficult variant of distorted text at 99.8 per cent accuracy" - then does that mean you're actually not a human?

Unfortunately, it means that he is just and only that, human......


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Re: Why is can never work

>"instincts" and "raison d'etre" emerged from evolved intelligence. I see no reason why it could not emerge from intelligence given an artificial start to its existence.

I would argue that "instincts" and "raison d'etre" are not related to evolved intelligence but instead are simply part of our genetic sauce just as much as the automatism of breathing. They are part and part of the "survival" toolkit.

Khaptain Silver badge

Why is can never work

The fundamental difference betwen an inorganic being and an organic one lies in it "instincts" and it's "raison d'etre"..

Due to the fact that we don't understand what instincts are or how they are governed we will never be able to create an algorithm which mimics them.

Human Beings,for the most part, do not know why they have a "will to live" but they instinctivly do. That desire to live has the incredible capacity to push us through the most ardous of tasks or challenges and allows us to endure unbelievable circumstances and also to progress.

I do not for a moment beleive that this can be transmitted to a bag of nuts and bolts.

The "raison d'etre" has no function within AI, why would we want to give a robot the desire to live and imagine the dangers if we ever managed to do this. Aldous Huxley's Robots of Dawn presented this very paradox.

Neural networks are a lot more complicated than simply a series of synaptic junctions connected together. We don't fully understand how we work, it is then impossible that we could transmit information that we simply do not have.

I digress though, if we ever manage to dominate the above functions/instincts that I guess that it would spell the end of humanity.

Australia to social media: self-censor or face AU$17,000 FINES

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Re: Very nice

Trite response on your behalf which far outweighs mine, you didn't even bother to try to make an alternative solution. Troll me not...

If you understood my comment you can read behind the lines and get to the crux of the matter. People have to stop relying on others and get back to relying on themselves.

This fucking nanny state attitude is really going too far. You cannot and will not change human nature, you may hide it or wrap it up in something else but you will not change it. Stop expecting others to take care of your problems.

You're right, teachers can no longer hit children, so what do they do now, they throw them out the class. The child is now deprived of his eductation, great.. That's not really a solution now is it, and it certainely does not resolve the fact the the "child" is problematic in the first place, which is an issue that you as a parent must address.

If you accept that your child can use social networks, then grow some balls and take responsibility for your actions. Teach your child instead of expecting it to be done for you.

If your child can't create a social network for themselves then be a good parent and do it for them.

Khaptain Silver badge

Very nice

Will they also hand out badges to people " I am not a bully"...with little flowers and smilies on it.

FFS it's time for these damed politicians to grow up.. NO ONE NEEDS to use social networking, it is a personal choice to sign up and use it, and we all know the inherent dangers.....

We are meatbags and from day one on this damned planet we have played at the "Survival of the strongest" game.. Social networking is no different.

If you don't want bullied, don't use it or invent your own "private" network....

Bullies will not go away.......I can handle a fair amount of flak from others which someone else might not be capable of. Whereas I don't feel bullied you might... There is no utimate definition of what a Bully is and it is simply impossible to make rules about such practices.

It existed when I was at school and I believe that it still exists regardless of what silly rules have been put in place.... Unfortunately it is human nature that is simply not going to go away....

Understand what it is, learn to define what it means to you and more importantly learn how to avoid it... basic rules of life.....

Sony Pictures struggles as staff details, salaries and films leaked

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As an aside, I just learned, courtesy of the Urban Dictionary, that an "Obamalamadingdong" is actually a description for someone who goes round ringing doorbells and promoting Obama.

The word has a very onomatopoeiac ring to it......

[Far better than the old "Ding Dong Avon calling" of yore]

Microsoft hikes support charges by NINETY TWO PER CENT

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Windows 8 bites back

In order to cover the losses on Windows 8 a solution has now been found...

Coming up, one very unkind analogy :

When a vetinary has very little business, or has lost a lot on trying to promote a new product, all that he needs to do is poison the local water supply. The farmer will have no other choice than to pay hansomely in order to save his animals......

One year on, Windows 8.1 hits milestone, nudges past XP

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Windows 8 irrelevant

W8 has no true bearing on the market, it is un unwanted system that is being installed by the few people that don't understand that "choice" is something they can have. W8 is a dead in the water.

What is far more important is the trend that will be created with Windows 10 ( W10 - ie : the North Kensington Edition - hint - look up London postal areas in order to understand ).

Windows 7 is rock solid and appears to be "relatively" secure. Hopefully W10 will provide the extra effort required to make it seriously secure.

The problem I see with W10 though is that it will become synonymous with Office 201x ( >= 2013) and the various Office Web editions which for the moment are unliked ( those interfaces make ones eyes scream). MS have to come back down to earth and fire the bloody interface designers that they have had of late.....

I really can't imagine where the Tablet market is going though as it does have an influence on the PC market.

[Relatively = in relation to previous MS efforts]

Never fear, Glassholes – Intel to the rescue! 'New CPU' for tech-specs

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Re: Google should be awarded Nobel prize for driving innovation

Except that Google aren't doing this for humanitarian or altruistic reasons, they are in it for the financial potential...

I believe that Google glass has its place but not as a mass market product. At it's best it is a very niche product, at it's worst it is a gadget.

Wikipedia won't stop BEGGING for cash - despite sitting on $60m

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Re: Straight into a special account

>Try asking a US bank for an IBAN

Did someone forget to tell the USA that we have been in the Digital Age for quite some years already ?

Australian Government funds effort to secure wearable data pulses

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Solution to a non problem

Here is the real problem

"Health care costs are ballooning in much of the western world".

Is the solution justified by wearing a "tracking" bracelet, I do not think so..

Why not simplify the health care, reduce the paperwork, build more streamlined hospitals, stop selling fat sugary drinks, etc etc etc Attack the problem at it's base rather than pretend to provide "big data" solutions to problems that can be tackled in so many other ways.

Kim Dotcom Dotcan remain on bail, despite Fed protests

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Re: Jail time or the highlands would have been better

> if lawyers can be called an investment.

Bottomless pit might be a better definition

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Jail time or the highlands would have been better

>My legal team has recently resigned because I ran out of money after spending $10m to try and defend myself.

If the guy went to jail for three years he would have saved $10 Million, $3Million per year is not too shabby.

Alternatively, he could have bought a nice house in the Scottish highlands, called himself Douglas MacDougal, disappeared from public life and still had a lot of change left over.

DotCom = minus 10 Million and nothing to show for it.

The Lawyers = plus 10 Million , new Porsches or have upgraded to >20m yachts.

APPLE set to Air PLUS-SIZED iPAD – claims mag

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Re: Dinner Plates

A plate has only one eternal corner, I don't know if the patent covers any less than 4.

E-cigarettes fingered as source of NASTY VIRUS

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Re: What a load of old virginia

>Why would an e-fag have anything other than power pins in the usb connection

Simply because they can or because one of the existing superpowers/badguys/Russian hackers will do anything to introduce Regin/Stuxnet or equivalants into any/all machines....

Or maybe even Marlboro, Lucky Strike etc did it on order to present subliminal messages to the luser that cigarettes are good for you and ecigarettes are bad..

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Re: We need the hard evidence...

Their web filters are obviously not configured to deal with the dangers of secondhand smoking.

Bought an iPhone 6 Plus? Odds are you've binned the iPad

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Re: @ Arctic Fox @Simple Si Indeed - thus demonstrating how easy it is for.............

@VinceH, that definately makes a change from pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

[PS : If you go a googling Vinces' references it is important to note that it might/will return a NSFW result..lol.... it made me laugh]

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Re: @ Arctic Fox @Simple Si Indeed - thus demonstrating how easy it is for.............

>So, tell us about the fanny.

I can't really judge from the article but there appears to be 2 possible cases

1 : Something is required in order to pack the fanny.

2 : The fanny will be used to pack something else.

In either case those rounded corners will probably be far more welcome that sharp pointy ones..

Get your staff working on the move: Develop that app for mobile

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Stopped reading after 1st line

>Working on the move has become most people's normal way of operating

Faffing about on the move has become most people's normal way of operating


Dropbox sees rival file-piles merely as dots in rearview mirror

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Surprised to see that BitSync is not on the list. I know it is relatively new but I thought it would have been there.

Britain's MPs ask Twitter, Facebook to keep Ts&Cs simple

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Only one word is necessary


There is a reason that those T&Cs are written in legalese and it's all about moving responsibility from the company to the user when the inevitable shit hits the fan. In other words they are simply protecting their own interests.

World's best threat detection pwned by HOBBIT

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Re: Microsoft Security Essentials pwned.

Just out of interest which OS ?

Stop selling spyware to despotic regimes, beg MEPs

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Re: How is this related to Regin?

>Is someone the EU Parliament suggesting Regin was an EU state export? Either the article or the MEP is missing something.

I think that what they are worried about is that they know how good it is and that it is being used against them, ironic if the creators really are the GCHQ..

Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows

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Re: Peazip question

>peazip in my experience was horrible, would rather 7zip anyday!

For the moment I agree, 7Zip is definately better.

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Peazip question

I installed it recently as an alternative to 7Zip but I cannot find the means of Password Encrypting the created zip files. Is it possible ?

Notepad++ a must for any Admin


Paint.net as JDX mentioned was unfortunately not in the list.

BitTorrent client works extremly well ( dont ask).

Keepass ( Another must have)

Technology quiz reveals that nobody including quiz drafters knows anything about IT

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Re: hansel sprockets

Where exactly is the Flux Capacitor ?

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Re: 10/12


No idea who that woman is and to be honest she is not an important figure so I don't knwo why should would be known.

I thought that Privacy Policy question was a trick question !

How to run a big web music biz (Spotify): Grab more cash from fans, sink deeper into the red

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Stakeholders delight - not

>It told stakeholders: "The more time people spend with our product, the more likely they are to become paying subscribers."

That's not the kind of phrase that would encourage me to invest in Spotify, confidence does not appear to reign here...

After reading through the article and the amount of risk mentioned, it is extremely difficult to imagine anything bright about the future for Spotify.

Google turns on shiny new .google top-level domain – but WHY?

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Huge Opportunity

>The opportunities and possibilities are huge and many will be looking to Google to help draw out the future.

Well someone will have to explain them to me because for the life of me I can't imagine how any can possibly "increase" upon the existing marketing vectors.

We are already permamnantly bombarded with publicty and marketing, without drilling directly into the brain I dont see how it can be further increased just by using some domain names.

In Grenoble the Mayor is removing all of the publicity panels from the town, I hope that the idea spreads all over France.

Lenovo: We'll say HELLO MOTO to profits in 18 months

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Magnesium casing with a red button

NEWSFLASH: You may already have seen Steve Jobs' willy

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Double Standards

Apparently Jasper allows for lude/rude/suggestive remarks in the article but not in the comments..

Sacre vache! Netflix ne parle pas le Frenchy ... zat is against ze LAW

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Agreed, the culture in France is about on even par with the Muricans and Guns.

Touche pas mon cul(ture).

Bank of England: What's all this then, CHAPS? Review to get a grip on IT cockup

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Secret Cobol programmer was ill

The plethora of sub-routines, sub-processes, ie : the means by which the banks can filter money of into hidden unspecified accounts, was so complex that the temp outsourced code monkey unintentionally made a minor filtering mistake and they were unable to recover the lost yachting funds for the month.

Stop the IoT revolution! We need to figure out packet sizes first

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>While the world gets excited about Internet-of-stuff

Is that the whole world or just the world of white appliances......

Whichever packet size or netwokl layer they manage to change it would be nice to think that "security" is being carefully considered at the same time..

It's enough that the NSA know that you watch YouPorn but that they will also know that you will soon be running out of cheese, milk and beer is frankly discouraging.

New Snapchat Snapcash service inspires amateur PORN STARS

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Khaptain Silver badge

Safe replys

Let me see your big knob, [sends picture of round door handle]

Let me see your tits, [sends pic of garden winged variety]

Let's do it bareback, [sends pic of horse without saddle]

I'm into bondage, [sends pic Mr James Bonds DB9]

I'm into fisting [sends pic of veterinaire artificially inseminating cow]

iPhone sales set to PLUMMET: Bleak times ahead for Apple

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Re: Why Are Apple DOOM Analysts Worth Quoting?


I predict that there will be a lull in unwanted christmas presents for a period of 4 weeks just prior to the 25 dec. After this time Fleabay will be awash with aformentioned goods for a period of approxiamately 11 months.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Even the regular 6 is too big

>The double touch on the home button feature

I just gained kudos from a colleague for showing them that double-tap method....

Cheers I owe you one of these --------------------------->>>>>>>>>

[ Subtle because it's a double tap rather than a double push ]

We have a winner! Fresh Linux Mint 17.1 – hands down the best

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Re: Mint, mate

>NB My hardware is not old. Quad core i7

Lol, I have XFCE running on a pair of Dell OptiPlex 755 Pentium Dual-Core E2200 2.2GHzs...and it runs great considering the specs... Ok the machines are used for dev testing and admin which are not very labour intensive...

On a Quad Core I7 we are talking whole other levels of vroom.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Mate is a step in the right direction...

Much better at what ?

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Re: Security

There is a backdoor in every OS, it is called the "User". If you can master the "User" you can master the security.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Upgrades - 2 questions

1 : Is there a major reason for wanting to upgrading so often ? By desiring to remain on the bleeding edge then the small amount of time required to "customize" is a small price to pay. If you used windows it would be the same process of re-customisation when moving between major versions.. ( Can't speak for macOS).

2 : Having to recustomize what exactly ?

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I relinquished on both Mate and Cinnamon and preferred the more basic XFCE which works flawlessly for my needs.

New job in 2015? The Reg guide to getting out and moving on

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I applied to a large International company recently ( 4 weeks ago). I received a 1st call asking only three questions

1 : How quickly I was available.

2 : What salary was I expecting.

3 : Reason for leaving existing company.

Time in call 5 minutes.

That was all that was asked by the person whose task it was to "filter" out from the hundreds of CVs that they had recieved.

2nd call : Sorry but you did not pass the intial process. There was no explanation about which of the three questions filtered me out, just that there was so many canditatures that they had to filter quickly....

I was avaiable within 4 weeks, the reason for leaving was valid and the salary was the going rate for the region.

No discussion about the CV or experience whatsover and this leads me to believe that some people must be is job hunting with very low salarial expectations......

'Regin': The 'New Stuxnet' spook-grade SOFTWARE WEAPON described

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Re: Which OS / Platform ?

>Of course, if you're really interested you could always read the Symantec PDF linked to in the article...

Isn't that the point of El Reg, to do a little bit of the footwork for us.

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