* Posts by Khaptain

3086 posts • joined 4 May 2008

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

Khaptain
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Think yourselvess lucky

I would not be surprised to learn that El Reg hacks receive soiled underwear from cheesed off venders 'after' some articles have been published.

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Cisco snuffs Spark, renames it 'WebEx Teams'

Khaptain
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Trollface

Sparkies

"Sparkies"

Was it a conferencing tool just for Electricians ?

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How life started on Earth: Sulfur dioxide builds up, volcanoes blow, job done – boffins

Khaptain
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Re: Ashes to ashes

Pedantically; Mother relates to being a parent which in and of itself relates to one or more children. Therefore, the plural would not be incorrect.

More importantly , why suggest Mother Nature rather than just Pure Chance and/or simply Chemistry/Physics and Biology, commonly known as Science... or the laws of Science.

Not to be confused with Scientology which has its own doctrine concerning the creative process.... ;-)

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Britain's 4G is slower than Armenia's

Khaptain
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Trollface

Re: So...

And if you remain behind the wall everyone in Europe will be quite happy.... Win Win

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Khaptain
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"Germany/France rollout is concentrated around the cities, and far less out into the country. And both Germany and France have oodles of Middle-of-Nowhere."

Agreed, in France it's definitely the larger cities that have the best coverage. On saying that FTTH will be available for me round about July... Oh happy days....

Fibre is obviously introduced on a "concentration basis".... Although most homes receive 20 Mbs without problem and where xDSL is not available, Orange and SFR can provide 4G boxes that at least allow for a reasonable link... ( obviously you have to be in a 4G zone but France has pretty good coverage)...

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Microsoft's Windows 7 Meltdown fixes from January, February made PCs MORE INSECURE

Khaptain
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Re: Ooops!

If your car has a GPS which has fault and the car manufacturer has to rewire your car I think it is safe to safe to mention that the problems are due to the faulty GPS the manufacturer.

This doesn't completely excuse the car maker from having dodgy wiring but it is understandable.

Personally I wouldn't like to be in Microsofts shoes at the moment having Meltdown looming over my head.

Intel have a lot to answer for...

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YouTube banned many gun vids, so some moved to smut site

Khaptain
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Re: But

Yes you are correct, it should have been Demolition Ranch,

"I am a doctor, sort off"

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Khaptain
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But

They don't really care about thew following though , probably because they pull in millions of views per day

* Hickok45 ( Has probably done more for the gun community than any other channel)

* The Yankee Marshall ( Ok it's more of a ladies talk show than a gun channel but he can be funny when he goes of on one of his rants)

* Taofladermous ( A lot of homemade projectiles - interesting vids)

* IraqVeteran8888 ( Like it or hate it, it is very popular)

* The Gun Collective

* VetRanch

* etc et etc

Most of whom spend their time meriting the virtues or not of a multitude of guns/cannons..

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Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

Khaptain
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Don't let the bastards get you down.

Stephen Hawking : an incredible character that spent his life working within the world of abstract ideas and concepts. His handicap never stopped his brain from evolving, his ideas and those with whom who worked helped changed/improve the contemporary world..

Well done Stephen and thanks for everything.

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OK, who is shooting at Apple staff buses in California? Knock it off

Khaptain
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Re: @Khaptain ... Use the Trump solution

You need to do a bit more homework. - Oh really.

"There are high pressured .35 thru .50 caliber air rifles that can send a pellet with enough force to kill

someone up to 200 yrds away. You don't have to 'blow a hole' through someone to kill them."

If you are willing to pay for one of those High Power Pellet Guns , it would make far more sense to buy a cheap Remington and some cheap munition.. Much cheaper, far more accurate and longer distance.. I own several hunting rifles, I know what a 308 can do...

Do some homework before you post such garbage.

Ditto

I don't believe for a moment that the Pellet Kiddy had any intention of causing real damage.

What would happen if they hit the window and cause the driver to swerve .

I could also do that with a brick or a rock dropped from a bridge...

Avec des si on mettrait Paris en bouteille

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Khaptain
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Re: Nuts *and* no imagination

PS The granny in the photo is going to get a wicked black eye from that 1911 if she pulls the trigger.

And probably lose the remainder of her hearing as well.

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Khaptain
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Re: Use the Trump solution

That's not a little bit misleading, it's grossly misleading.

And using the word Sniper instead of schoolkid or Old Fart also changes the game. Snipers shoot to kill, whereas this is somebody who is just leaves of.

A pellet gun might sting but it certainly won't blow a hole through your average meatbag.

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Dell EMC in bid to clap trade secrets injunction on staff now at Rubrik

Khaptain
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Sales staff accessing sensitive data

I can't imagine any other department that is more constantly accessing and requesting sensitive data than the sales teams.

After a few years, usually 3 - 5, they jump ship with up to date or almost up to date figures, stats, client details etc ...

It always amazes me how they consider themselves over and above other employees in relation to the fact that they consider it normal to constantly hold on to so much data..

Those higher up on the tree should also have a second look as to why so much information is available to second or third tier staff...

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Bitcoin heist with a twist: This time it's servers that were stolen

Khaptain
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600 Servers = 1 truck and lots of muscle

How the hell does someone manage to physically move 600 servers from a "Datacentre" without being noticed or alarm bells ringing. Or was this 600 VMs on one very large server.....

Just the sheer volume of 600 servers seems impossible without having 600 thieves or a very special, very fast, very clever robot.

So they had redundant backups/powerlines/data connections but no physical security cameras/padlocks/patrol agent.. etc

Smells very fishy ( Icelandic fish of course)...

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IBM gives Services staff until 2019 to get agile

Khaptain
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What !!!

"IBM has spent years telling the world that its Notes suite is as fine a collaboration environment as there is to be found anywhere"

I had to "suffer" Notes for several years and it would be nigh on impossible to force me to return. Outlook/Exchange have their faults but at least they are extremely usable.

Notes/Domino feels like a 1980s rebuff , it lack ergonomics, the interface is prehistoric, those tiles, how I hate those damned tiles..... It feels clunky, as if is was thrown together at the last moment...

It should be killed of before it continues to provide further embarrassment for IBM.

I would rather they reworked OS4 and put a serious contender to Windows on the market.

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IT peeps, be warned: You'll soon be a museum exhibit

Khaptain
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Dont worry

There is one job that will exist as long as people are allowed to users conmputers, The Hell Desk.

The BOFH and the PFY will always be in demand due to the fact the (l)users will never arrive at a level of intelligence/rational thought that they should have possessed before being allowed to interact with a keyboard.

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He's cheesed it! French flick pirate on the lam to swerve €80m fine, two-year stretch in the clink

Khaptain
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Re: This:

30K in socks and we can presume that that was just spare cash. It's the offshore accounts that are interesting. Would love to know just how much he actually did make..

Is there any real reason too spend millions chasing this guy, no not really.

Personally I don't go much to the cinema anymore because it has become a damned expensive night out.

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If you don't like what IBM is pitching, blame Watson: It's generating sales 'solutions' now

Khaptain
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Sales Pitch

Ce always understood that business was about selling more than it is about finding the correct solution

. I wonder if IBM have "cognitively solved" the standard sales pitch + diatribe + multitude of follow up calls that usually comes attached to attempting to buy anything from various service oriented companies.

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Aching bad: 'Kingpin Granny' nicked in huge prescription drugs bust

Khaptain
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12000 Dollars

Not exactly on the same level as a certain Mr Escobar.

Wheelchair Gangsta Grannies coming at you......

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Uber: Ah yeah, we pay women drivers less than men. We can explain!

Khaptain
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2.2% slower is not exactly a huge difference.

30 Mph for men versus 29.4 Mph for women... Probably equates to one extra traffic light. In most large cities the amount of traffic , lack of experience is far more likely to be a hinderance.

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Apple: iPhone sales are down (but they've never been more lucrative)

Khaptain
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"it won't be adding many new features to iOS 12, apparently: that next major release will be mainly stability fixes and bug squashing"

Same Ole, same ole Apple.

It will be interesting to see their next few quarters. I get the feeling that things will see a slip in performance.

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Crooks make US ATMs spew million-plus bucks in 'jackpotting' hacks

Khaptain
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Physical Access

Physical access that requires switching of the machine, replacing the hard drive which requires "internal" physical access, then rebooting the machine all the while being unnoticed by anyone.

Something is weird here, either their are bank employees, Siemens Nixdorf employees or security guards who have the keys involved here, How the hell does the average Joe get access to the internals of the ATMs, nost of which are behind brick walls....?

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Half a terabyte in your smartmobe? Yup. That's possible now

Khaptain
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Re: Easily.

Have to agree with V.Jeltz, that seems like a risky business, unless of course you have decent backups and lots of patience whilst doing the transfers.

Each to his own but 500Gb does seem like a lot of data on a support that is just waiting to be lost or corrupted..

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Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

Khaptain
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Re: Bags full of the stuff

"So not really having projects underway"

Exactly, no projects at the moment because of all the moving.. It's also why I mentioned that I am worried that it will turn around and bite my arse..

And no unfortunately I will no longer have a garage for my "stuff" ( weeps quietly in the corner of the room)

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Khaptain
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Re: Misty-eyed

Just had a quick look in my desk drawer, I counted 12 "spare" modules.... The smallest one is 512mb , they have been there for at least 2 years, just sitting there waiting patiently for a donor box..

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Khaptain
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Bags full of the stuff

Having recently sold my home, and whilst waiting on my new one to become available I have had to move 3 times in the last few months.

With each change of location I have been confronted with the deluge of items that "I will probably need one day".. Bags full of cables, chargers, adapters, welding tools, Raspberry PIs, SD Cards, an oscilloscope, electrical testers, hard disks, USB cables by the bagful, IPhones, Androids, SIM Cards,3G + Wifi Routers, Hubs, and lets not talk about power leads, it just goes on and on.......

I could feel the tears welling up but I finally resolved to removing most of the "stuff" to the bin ( not very ecological I know).... It's amazing, I removed so much stuff but I had that horrible feeling that I would miss something.. Wrong, its been a few weeks now and not once have I had any remorse... I don't miss any of it....

I am now clean, I've managed to kick the habit, my wife loves me more than ever, there's space on the shelves... but I just can't get rid of the feeling that it's all going to come back and bite me in the arse.

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Have three WINEs this weekend, because WINE 3.0 has landed

Khaptain
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Re: Windows programs on Windows.

Will it also run "ActiveX components" which is the main reason for requiring IE8...

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France may protect citizens' liberté with ban on foreigners buying local big data firms

Khaptain
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Nothing new here though, business has always been closely tied to the governments, hence the reason that ministers can manage to buy second homes in warm countries ( without the taxman being aware)

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Khaptain
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The fact that the French want to protect their data, knowledge, technology actually seems like a bloody good idea.

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Airbus warns it could quit A380 production

Khaptain
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Re: 380b?

The Datsun 180b didn't requite you to remodel your garage, it therefore has an advantage over the A380... The A380 is far better looking than the Datsun though,

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'Mummy, what's felching?' Tot gets smut served by Android app

Khaptain
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"I expect that most of your parents know that word."

I would hazard a guess that outside of a certain community not many people would have reason to know what felching means...

It's not really for the faint of heart. Although it could be for the heart of the fion. (You would have to look up a French slang dictionary to understand the last phrase..

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Swiss cheesed off after Apple store iPhone does Samsung Galaxy Note 7 impersonation

Khaptain
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Slightly sarcastic response coming up...

"Lithium-ion batteries are notorious for occasional self-immolation."

They are so notorious in fact that the last 29 mobiles devices that I possessed all self-immolated with 2 hours of purchasing and that was only the devices that I use to read ElReg.

Cmon, "notorious" is a little bit OTT...

There are currently over 1 Billion devices in use and we only very,very occasionally hear about self combusting batteries and we have little or no knowledge of the treatment that they might have suffered before hand.

There are probably far more nefarious, notorius, extraneous household fires per day than mobiles burning gonads through self inflammation ....

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When neural nets do carols: 'Santa baby bore sweet Jesus Christ. Fa la la la la la, la la la la'

Khaptain
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Re: 12 Days of Regmas

And also misinterpreted Bitcoins, which are currently falling, to no-ones surprise...

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Weed wish you a merry Christmas: Pot-toting OAPs tell cops 30kg stash is for pressies

Khaptain
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Should we presume that their version of Santa Claus has dreadlocks... ?

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Ubuntu 17.10 pulled: Linux OS knackers laptop BIOSes, Intel kernel driver fingered

Khaptain
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Re: The Intel Driver bug is possibly a bit more present than Intel lets on.

" I'm pretty sure the same buggy drivers were present in Windows 10, but got removed quickly and without any public mention"

Considering the size of the Windows user-base and the act that ElReg would have jumped all over it, I doubt that very much.

Intel Drivers for Linux are just that, they are dedicated...

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Sex robot forum venue 'encrypted in a poem'

Khaptain
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Re: Is this poem ?

Re: Is this poem ?

More precisely I would state that it is limerick,

And I hope that my reply doesn't come to quick ,

As the subject of sex in only five lines

Is all that it takes to make the monks start to pine.

When the image of Mary start bloating their dicks

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France gives WhatsApp a month to get slurps in order or face fine

Khaptain
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Re: So what if they don't ?

"It's not going to block WhatsApp as its citizens would throw a wobbly".

Why not, everyone would just fire up Telegram or an alternative and it would be business as usual, except for Zuckerbeg..

I, for one, am all for this, with a little bit of luck it might start the ball rolling and start to put an end to all the hidden and unwanted Dataslurping. Hopefully Google and Microsoft will be next.

If I have to pays a couple of bucks thereafter for Whatsapp that's ok with me.

Vive la CNIL...

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Kent woman to season festive dinner with her mother's ashes

Khaptain
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Guests beware

Imagine learning about this idea AFTER having been invited to the party.

Here in France there are quite a few cheeses that are covered in ash, I might just check the ingredient list a little closer next time.

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They're baaaack: Avaya outlasts Chapter 11

Khaptain
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Re: Was glad when we ditched Avaya kit here

As much as I understand that their alternative system, on our case we have a Call Center and this is where Avaya are extremely strong.. For basic office telephones, I would agree that Avaya is not a cost effective solution.

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Windows 10 bundles a briefly vulnerable password manager

Khaptain
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Which version of Windows 10

I read that is a MSDN version but which one exactly, is it a developers preview or an existing version ?

It's not in 1703 or 1709 or at least not in any of the versions that I currently run.

Never heard of "Keeper" before this post... Seems strange that MS would include a 3rd part app like this.

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Brit film board proposed as overlord of online pr0nz age checks

Khaptain
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Suitable alternatives

The first question that should be asked is "Why" the under 18s want to look at porn or other illicit content.. Answer that question first and then proceed to determine if any action should be taken...

Quite possibly the under 18s need their minds nourished with something other than what is currently on offer but do we truly have better suitable alternatives for them ? If we don't offer them something better then I can easily understand why they are doing what they are doing.. Porn and illicit content are a means of escaping the trials tribulations of contemporary society, just like drugs and alcohol, which when taken in moderation are perfectly fine, it's the over-indulgence that creates problems.

And what about the other powerful elements that are in play; subliminal advertising, junk TV, junk food, the dream of instantly becoming rich without making any effort all being pushed endlessly 24 hours a day etc,etc. Shouldn't we also consider the negative impacts that they undoubtedly bring ?

Society in general has a role to play we cant just blame the governments. It really does appear as though we are sliding down towards a very dark place...

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Auto auto fleets to dodge British potholes in future

Khaptain
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Trollface

Meatbag option

"A Highways Agency report suggests that cars of the future could report road potholes automatically,"

Are Human Beings no longer capable of producing the same effort ? At no cost other the development of a simple GPS location tracking and Pothole Detected button !!

And will it actually make the repairs of said Potholes any quicker....

When everything becomes automatic will there been any need to actually leave your bed ? Maybe in the near "Matrix" style future, we will have plugs in our arses which will deliver the power to all these some much needed automates....

Call me anything but please don't call me sarcastic... It makes me upset, tightens up my sphincter and I can no longer provide the power to my El Reg auto-reply bot..

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Hey, we've toned down the 'destroying society' shtick, Facebook insists

Khaptain
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Re: facebook eventually imploding.

"The emergence of something like Facebook which makes most of humanity into a shallow, simple-feedback driven mob has long been predicted."

I am afraid to say that humanity has been like that for far longer than just the period relating to the emergence of Facebook. Facebook and social media et definitely hold responsibly in its continual increase though.

Social media has some positive points but I often feel that they do not outweigh the negatives. Hence I have no social media accounts.

PS : I have no social media accounts unless El Reg is considered as Social Media ??

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US authorities issue strongly worded warnings about crypto-investments

Khaptain
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Hidden meaning

"Financial market professionals were warned to make sure they stay on the right side of securities laws"

Should we understand from this phrase that they have already detected something unsavoury is going on behind the scenes ?

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YouTuber cements head inside microwave oven

Khaptain
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Confused

Speaking to the BBC, Watch Commander Shaun Dakin of the West Midlands Fire Service (WMFS) said: "All of the group involved were very apologetic, but this was clearly a call-out which might have prevented us from helping someone else in genuine, accidental need."

It was definitely genuine and I am quite sure it was accidental in the fact that this was not the intended outcome.. I see no reason that the Fire Brigade would consider this as anything else.. Kids climbing then falling out of trees, cooks forgetting to turn of the stove etc are all genuine and accidental. No one intentionally expects their life to be put in danger.

Even though this was a prank stunt, the need for calling the services, and consequently saving the guys life remain the same...

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Viagra's Irish plant STILL giving local men and dogs stiffies (not really)

Khaptain
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I had too look that up, effectively that it is one hell of a name for a diving club... made by day

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Khaptain
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Happy

And this is a problem ?

See title

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Boffins foresee most software written by machines in 2040

Khaptain
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Silver Bullet Syndrome

Never forget that clients are comes meatbags that are never truly sure nor fully understand their own requirements which change constantly during development phases...

It's not AI that is required, you would need to be at least Deity Level to get coding done correctly without human intervention..

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Huawei Mate 10 Pro: The unfashionable estate car wants to go to town

Khaptain
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Re: Instant Fail

Ok I see, you mean it's just the wall plug that is different ?

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Khaptain
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Instant Fail

"The M10P uses Huawei's proprietary charger"

I have a 9 and I love it, the Standard USB C 2 amp charger gets it charged up pretty damned .

But anything that mentions "proprietary" quickly becomes a PITA... It usually involves having to buy at least 2..... One for home you get that included, but then another for work and another for travel.. AAaaagggghhhh.

If it is not standard, forget it. I already have bags full of old proprietary chargers and I refuse to return to anything non standard.....( Shame that laptop manufacturer never understood that either)

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