* Posts by Haku

1442 posts • joined 13 Apr 2007

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We've found a ‘vaccine’ for fake news. Wait! No, we really are Cambridge researchers

Haku
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Re: Does this technique extend...

I don't think it'll work because some people actually like fake tits & photoshopped glamour shots..

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Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Haku
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Re: I like Will wheaton but wesley...

"This is a common complaint for me about television in general, there's always a kid that comes across as being so much more worldly wise. so much more together than all the highly qualified/ experienced adults around them."

You must've hated Seaquest DSV then.

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Chevy Bolt electric car came alive, reversed into my workbench, says stunned bloke

Haku
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Re: Odd belief

I once drove to a nearby city and when I got to the car park and pulled on the handbrake I heard this unnerving twang sound and felt the handle go completely loose... I was very careful on the 15 mile journey back after shopping, and thankfully I could park it on flat ground at home. Got it fixed the next day.

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Haku
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Trollface

Those pesky Russian hackers just can't leave America alone...

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'Exploding e-cig cost me 7 teeth, burned my face – and broke my sink!'

Haku
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ecig explosion in mans face caught on cctv (different person than this story)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKm0Hz70OdU

Apparently he got 12 stiches in his face.

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Haku
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Re: So...

A world without batteries? It would look something like this:

Gas powered daily life (YouTube)

We'd all die of carbon monoxide poisoning!

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Apple sings another iTune following Brexit as prices rise by up to a third

Haku
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Re: "United Kingdon"?

"Say, that's a nice little currency you have there. It'd be a shame if something were to happen to it..."

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Flight 666 lands safely in HEL on Friday the 13th

Haku
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Was there anything on the wing of the plane perchance?

Twilight Zone Nightmare at 20,000 feet

Twilight Zone The Movie - A Face In The Window

Which leads to this great setup:

William Shatner and John Lithgow 3rd Rock from the Sun

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Promising compsci student sold key-logger, infects 16,000 machines, pleads guilty, faces jail

Haku
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The headline seems to imply that he personally infected 16,000 machines.

Almost like saying car manufacturers are the cause of countless accidents and deaths on the roads.

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Customer: BT admitted it had 'mis-sold' me fibre broadband

Haku
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It's probably fair to say BT as a company is Autistic.

Because of their idea of communication and interaction at a human level, both internally and externally.

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Train your self-driving car AI in Grand Theft Auto V – what could possibly go wrong?

Haku
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I for one do not want to be driven by a GTA programmed car in real life after having observed the competance of NPC drivers in GTA from taking taxi rides and standing on top of ambulances (one of the few vehicles you don't fall off of) whilst a swearing NPC takes you on an impromptu tour of Los Santos.

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Haku
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Re: Are they kidding?

The best place to shoot randomly at the NPC drivers for their panic reactions is when they're all queued up at a level crossing just as a train is going by...

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Man jailed for 3 days after Texas cops confuse cat litter for meth

Haku
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Re: Time for a war on Stupidity?

Stupid people should be made to wear a sign stating such.

Bill Engvall - Stupid People (Here's Your Sign) (YouTube)

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Top cop: Strap Wi-Fi jammers to teen web crims as punishment

Haku
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I don't know wether to laugh or cry.

The only thing I know at this point is the need for a triple facepalm.

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Forget aircraft – now cretins are laser-blinding ferry boat crewmen

Haku
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Incedents like this is precicely why I've never bought green laser pointers for friends or friends of friends who have on more than one occasion now seen my one and asked me to get me them one the next time I'm shopping online for stuff.

If they're too stupid to use the internet to buy a simple laser pointer they're too stupid to be in posession of one - I won't be party to that level of idiocy.

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Dodgy dealer on Amazon lures marks towards phishing site

Haku
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I used to use Play.com a lot until their service became 'watered down' by allowing 3rd party sellers to operate on their site, it got to the point where I once tried to find a USB microSD card reader and discovered finding a non-generic one was futile - one seller had put over 8000 duplicate listings for the same card reader, totally ruining the site's search capability.

I completely gave up using that site after then - if they can't maintain their own site properly then I don't want to have to deal with them if say I had to return something.

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Hapless scouser scours streets for lost Crimble drone

Haku
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I lost a boomerang once.

Well, I think it was a boomerang, it might just have been a stick...

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Haku
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That happened to me today :( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0-8mzlGNcA

Caused by a faulty PosHold mode which after a while it would stop responding to the throttle and just go down.

I'd forgotten PosHold did this on this craft so it landed heavily on the side of a hill. Thankfully the only damage was a broken leg and I didn't have the spare ones with me so had to trundle back home with a bunch of batteries to discharge.

Ho hum, next time I'll remember to bring the spare landing legs :)

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Haku
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My GPS capable multirotors have a function called RTL (Return To Launch), triggered by loss of signal from the controller, or by manually selecting it on the controller.

If I don't sit and wait for the craft to lock on to enough satellites to properly triangulate its position before taking off then that RTL function is useless because it doesn't know where it launched from.

Triggering RTL without a good enough satellite lock can cause it to 'go back to China', which is only funny when it happens to someone else.

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Drones will be able to carry 120GB footage of you in the shower if Seagate has its way

Haku
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Thumb Down

"Drones" ... "footage of you in the shower"

Tabloid scaremongering headlines much, El Reg?

Shame on you.

You're better than that.

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Programmer finds way to liberate ransomware'd Google Smart TVs

Haku
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Re: I'll stick to...

My 40" Blaupunkt I got in the black friday sales is dumb, and the piece of junk can't even display a 24hz hdmi signal properly, it's like looking at 24fps shown on a 60hz refresh. And that's not the worst of it, when it does go into 24hz the resolution is buggered too - the horizontal pixels get merged together so you're looking at a 960x1080 image...

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Haku
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Re: can't wait for the follow up IoT story...

This is over 20 years old so you'll have to substitute "usenet" for "facebook"/"bittorrent" and "VCR" for "DVR", but other than that the joke premise still holds water:

The (Future) Diary of a Mad Digital Homeowner

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El Reg just saved your Wikipedia Xmas

Haku
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Re: The hard-working volunteers do it because they want to be right.

Right on! :)

I was thinking of that exact xkcd cartoon when I typed.

Cheers to the new year! I'd join you in a pint but my saviour elixir is currently lemsip.

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Haku
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Coat

The hard-working volunteers do it because they want to be right.

And if someone comes along trying to prove me wrong then they'll only prove I'm right.

Right?

Right.

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Amazon files patent for 'Death Star' flying warehouse

Haku
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I bet the patent will run out before such a product delivery system is viable or wanted.

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Twas the week before Xmas ... not a creature was stirring – except Microsoft admitting its Windows 10 upgrade pop-up went 'too far'

Haku
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Horses and water.

So M$ admitted they not only dragged the horse to the water but when they got to the water they forced its head under until it coughed and spluttered, and now they're apologising for 'cruelty to animals'?

No thanks, not interested in any hollow apologies.

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Support chap's Sonic Screwdriver fixes PC as user fumes in disbelief

Haku
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Angel

My reputation precedes me.

All too often friends/family have been having trouble with an electrical device (usually computer related) so when I visit they're really glad I'm there because I can fix the device, only for both of us to discover the device is now working perfectly fine without me doing anything other than switching it on.

So it appears merely the threat of me turning up and delving into its innards (software configuration or physically with a screwdriver) scares these technological devices into working properly again.

I must be a divine being or something, so icon :)

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Haku
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Re: Overheard conversation about a new server

"star trek sleeping"

Rather neat, I hadn't thought of searching for a loop of the ships background noise, though just listening to a couple of minutes of it made me realise it would probably drive me nuts trying to sleep to it due to its unnatural monotony.

For many many years I used to listen to Tangerine Dream to help me get to sleep, auto-reverse walkmans were a godsend, but now we're in the age of video playlists on pcs so it's familiar films or tv shows I usually crash out to.

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Ham-fisted: Chap's radio app killed remotely after posting bad review

Haku
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Ratner effect.

HRD Software should read up about that.

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It's now illegal in the US to punish customers for posting bad web reviews

Haku
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"the words weren't cooked properly."

I didn't know they still made Alphabetti Spaghetti.

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Haku
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Trump might want to repeal that, especially because he said this about journalists:

“One of the things I’m gonna do, and this is only gonna make it tougher for me, and I’ve never said this before, but one of the things I’m gonna do if I win… is I’m gonna open up our libel laws so when they write purposely negative and horrible and false articles, we can sue them and win lots of money. We’re gonna open up those libel laws.”

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Move over HoloLens, $30 homebrew cardboard AR is here

Haku
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Oooh! Let me get my 90's mixtape, it's time to hack the Gibson!

Er, does anyone have a walkman I can borrow? I left the batteries in mine and they leaked, corroding the contacts.

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'Emoji translator' sought by translations firm

Haku
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Re: Competitive Salary

They probably expect to get paid in their favourite currencies, "Likes" and "Subscribes".

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Haku
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They all mean the same thing:

Goddamn millennials!

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Trump's 140 characters on F-35 wipes $2bn off Lockheed Martin

Haku
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It's a shame the tweeting thing doesn't work the other way round.

I'd actually join twitter if my tweets could wipe billions off Trump's worth.

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Samsung, the Angel of Death: Exploding Note 7 phones will be bricked

Haku
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I don't doubt we'll see a similar situation with cars in the future.

Police already want to be able to remotely stop cars at will http://www.businessinsider.com.au/metropolitan-police-boss-hogan-howe-kill-switch-remotely-disable-stop-criminals-cars-2016-9

This future world we're living is awesome and I can't possibly see a remote engine stop function ever being abused...

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HBO slaps takedown demand on 13-year-old girl's painting because it used 'Winter is coming'

Haku
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Re: I'll just leave this here and sit back.

Hahahahaha! Brilliant.

Here's a clickable link of it so people don't have to copy/paste:

https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/jon-snow.jpg

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Microsoft boffins think VR visions will rival drugs by 2027

Haku
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The internet is already a drug. Just look at how many people are addicted to it.

VR may just become another facet of it.

BTW I'm not addicted, I can quit any time I want.

I'll prove it.

,

,

See, I didn't look at my screen for a whole 2 seconds!

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Canada asks citizens: How would you like us to spy on you?

Haku
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Take off you hosers!

Is in the general direction of how people should respond.

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Plastic fiver: 28 years' work, saves acres of cotton... may have killed less than ONE cow*

Haku
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Re: Get a life.

Furthermore, how many of the vegans/vegetarians rely on being able to live their life because of things other people do (like keeping the power grid going, road maintainance, phone service etc. etc.) who eat meat?

Are they eternally angry at the rest of the world who do eat meat so jump at the slightest of chances to proclaim their 'holier than thou' status?

Psychologically they must be a very fragile crowd.

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Haku
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Unhappy

Problem with materials? No, it's when you fold them the trouble starts

The fold is almost impossible to flatten out, especially annoying when you've got to feed them into a machine at the Post Office / supermarket etc., and what about the people working on tills? They'll now have to be extra careful the stack of folded fivers don't spring out of the tray.

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Brit upstart releases free air traffic app for drone operators

Haku
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I still want someone to do a Mythbusters type 'can you spot an object is a drone' test

Involving someone moving at X miles an hour reliably confirming an object at X hundred feet away is a drone or plastic bag or something else.

I'd happily do it if I can do the driving, though I'd have to borrow a Bugatti Veyron (or something else that goes very fast) to drive on a runway at very high speed whilst someone else does the spotting. I wouldn't enjoy the ride, it would be purely scientific research... ;)

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Woman rescues red pepper Donald Trump from vegetarian chilli

Haku
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Jesus on food? Naah, everyone knows he appeared in

a dogs bottom

Don't click the link if you're easily offended, or eating lunch.

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UK's new Snoopers' Charter just passed an encryption backdoor law by the backdoor

Haku
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"No such backlash happened in the UK over the Investigatory Powers Bill"

That's because just about fucking nobody knows what's going on in relation to their online activities being snooped on by the very people who are supposed to protect them!

I've been telling everyone I know about this snoopers charter, only ONE of them knows of its existance and what it entails, and that's because his job is computers & networks, EVERYONE else is totally ignorant to this draconian shit being forced on us because it's just not being reported on enough in the mainstream media.

I expect more people know what their favourite celeb had for breakfast than what's happening to their civil liberties.

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Jeremy Hunt: Telcos must block teens from sexting each other

Haku
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I heard that for his next public outrage, the sea eroding the coastline, he's going to stand on a beach and command the tide to stop coming in.

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Canadian cops cuff 11-year-old lad after Grand Theft Auto gets real

Haku
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Re: Sorry to sound like an old grumpy.. ..

A friend of mine won't let his 10 year old anywhere near the GTA series, but he'll happily play Counter-Strike with him...

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Haku
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BUSTED!

I expect the police also took away all his ammo.

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Haku
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Must've been a really good GTA driver then if he didn't knock down scores of light poles, or run over dozens of pedestrians, let alone side-swipe most parked cars and repeatedly crash into oncoming traffic.

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Small ISPs 'probably' won't receive data retention order following IP Bill

Haku
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Re: Next steps

I'm reminded of a Bill Hicks bit on the definition of pornography - http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2gzsxp

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Haku
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