* Posts by Blitheringeejit

317 posts • joined 25 Apr 2008

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UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

Blitheringeejit
Facepalm

"The government is also expected to ... appoint a regulator to police the sex websites"..?

I wonder what kind of qualifications they'll be looking for ...

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Bonkers call to boycott Raspberry Pi Foundation over 'gay agenda'

Blitheringeejit
Boffin

@Bob and John

That's OK as long as they are connected via a switch, which should be called Janet for obvious academic reasons. She's super.

But if you connect Bob and John directly using a crossover cable, you will toast in firey torment for eternity.

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Blitheringeejit
Joke

@Wolftone - the whole bible?

Not so sure that the ultimate take-home message from the *bible* is "don't be a dick". The New Testament, maybe - but isn't the ultimate take-home message from the Old Testament something to do with not eating shellfish?

Or perhaps I'm getting confused - I've been having some very odd thoughts since I dropped those two tablets on my way down the mountain...

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Oh my Word... Microsoft Office 365 unlatched after morning lockout

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Re: Please explain to me ...

"Please explain to me ... how running an important application ''out in the cloud'' is better than running on your own machines ?"

It's better because it makes a larger profit margin for Microsoft than a one-off charge for a software licence you can use for as long as you can keep it running. And for Google and Amazon, it's better because they can sell you something which they couldn't sell you before.

If you're asking what the benefit is *to you*, you're asking the wrong question. People don't develop software or web services your benefit.

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Ubuntu 'weaponised' to cure NHS of its addiction to Microsoft Windows

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Re: Pipe Dream

"The Government - and I won't name names, but both the Conservatives and Labour are infested with these parasites - don't want there to be an NHS in the way that it's free for the people of the UK to use."

You're right to castigate Labour for their role in this during the Blair/Brown/Mandleson years - they drank the free-market kool-aid, and became indistinguishable from the Tories. And many of those people are still powerful in the Parliamentary party.

But I sense that Corbyn's Labour party is a different animal, with a genuine commitment to social welfare and the NHS.

Though of course commitment in itself isn't enough - they have to take the huge step of finally breaking to the voters the bad news that Blair always concealed: that we can only have better public services and safer housing if we actually pay more tax. Not just have Them pay more tax, but We pay more too. And they have to get Us to vote for it - a tall order.

But then again, an increase in the Labour vote under Corbyn's leadership was a tall order, until a couple of weeks ago...

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UK.gov leaves data dashboard users' details on publicly accessible site

Blitheringeejit
WTF?

Anyone know which gov sites are affected?

Scuse ignorance but I'm endlessly confused by the plethora of different logins, current and historical, that I have for various HMG services. Is the "Dashboard" to which this refers connected in any way with the HMRC logins for company services, or the Land Registry site, or indeed the DVLA site? Or is it a separate, new thing that I haven't yet been forced to subscribe to?

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Ex-NASA bod on Gwyneth Paltrow site's 'healing' stickers: 'Wow. What a load of BS'

Blitheringeejit
Pint

You missed out the French...

...who brew a rather lovely single malt in Brittany. Apparently after the Roman retreat, a largely empty Brittany was repopulated by celts from Wales, who brought not only their language (which evolved into Breton), but also their distilling skills.

Because it's Friday, and there's no single malt icon ---------------^

3
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BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

Blitheringeejit
Mushroom

Exactly

"...they want a "good" design and "intuitive" navigation - yardsticks which become weapons in the hands of idiots."

And meaningless bollocks in the hands of sales wonks who commission website designers. Which is exactly why I moved carefully away from "web design", and now concentrate on finding customers who want to have complex data delivered in plain-looking pages from a well-built backend database, with no unnecessary bells, whistles, or JQuery - and especially no JS predictive typing which spends so long searching for predictions that it stops users from actually typing what they want to type.

Company motto: "We'll make it work, but don't ask us what colour it should be."

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Small carriers aren't showing up to IPv6 standards chats, consultant warns

Blitheringeejit
Stop

Re: There are fundamental technical reasons for it

If you have your own mailserver, presumably you also have the smarts to program up a router with port-forwarding to make it work..?

And meanwhile, do you really need your fridge to have direct public address access to my fridge? That's a surefire recipe for a Terminator scenario...

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Blitheringeejit
Thumb Up

@V'sRH: +lots, and furthermore...

The IP4 address scarcity would be much eased if large North American address space users (DoD, colleges, gov etc, not to mention large corporations) would desist from giving every machine on their LAN a public IP address. This could free up massive amounts of address space for the more recent arrivals to the table.

And NAT doesn't just solve the address scarcity problem, it also protects (to some degree) against direct port hacking, and is generally a Good Thing - especially given your well-made point 3.

Disclaimer - I understand v4, but try as I might for a decade or so, I've been unable to get my head around the basic mechanisms of v6. I don't claim to be the sharpest tool in the box, but it does feel like an over-complicated solution to problems which don't need to exist in the first place. ICANN just needs to get tough with IP4-hoggers.

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Raspberry Pi sours thanks to mining malware

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Re: I just hooked it to the DMZ, and it's fine...

>>How many people do this? Really? Buy something, and then just throw it open to world+dog, and think it's all just fine and dandy.

Apparently there's this new-fangled teckernology called "The Internet of Things" which is all the rage...?

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NSA leaker bust gets weirder: Senator claims hacking is wider than leak revealed

Blitheringeejit
Coat

Re: OTT

It's a rare outbreak of reverse nominative determinism - Chelsea Manning transitioned to woman, and now Reality Winner has lost bigtime.

Perhaps the next one will be Putin's electioneering shenanigans getting fully rumbled, leaving him feeling extremely put out.

Of course something similar might at some point happen to Trump - but I really don't want to go there.

<Ahem>

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Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...

Blitheringeejit
Flame

You lost my sympathy right here:

"I am trying to pay for my extra-hot fair trade soya decaf caramel mint chocka mocha focka carbonated Bulgarian snow forest chai espresso latte plus vegan sprinkles and a twist of lemming with my handset".

Why the fucketty fuck would you do that when you had cash in your pocket? What about all the poor saps waiting behind you for your app/card/touch transaction to authorise, when you could slap cash on the counter and get the fuck out of the way. Money works, and places which don't like being paid with money won't get paid by me - not petrol stations, not <insert preferred supermarket chain name here /> and most definitely of all, not pubs. (Being of a sensible disposition, I never buy coffee from coffee shops in the first place, because it's five times the price of making it at home and isn't as nice.)

Phew, glad to get that off my chest. And of course I agree with the main thrust of the piece - being ancient, my favourite stupid error message is still that old chestnut:

"Keyboard missing - press F1 to resume".

They don't write 'em like that any more. No, wait ...

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Sources: Misco SOLD to Hilco Capital, care home for the distressed

Blitheringeejit
Trollface

Re: Ok fine, but don't get rid of...

Surely your markup when reselling from Amazon / C2K is the UK rate of Corporation Tax?

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Blitheringeejit
Headmaster

D'Oh

So Systemax in the US sell "office stationary"..? Haven't they realised eveything has to be mobile these days?

C'mon El Reg, I know it's Monday morning but you're supposed to be journalists - you should be able to spell simple words correctly even with a crashing hangover.

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BT hit with £42m fine for Ethernet compensation delays to competitors

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Re: Which reminds me...

Have you not heard the phrase "policy-based evidence-making"..?

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Ofcom wants automatic compensation for the people when ISPs fail

Blitheringeejit
Facepalm

OfCOM OfTarget again

If this applies to fixed broadband and landline telephone services only, then it's not about ISPs - it's about Openreach. ISPs (including BT Retail) order installations from Openreach, via Openreach's work management system, and Openreach frequently fail to show up at the appointed time/day. You can't hold ISPs responsible or penalise them for Openreach's failures.

It's depressing that policy makers, and especially OfCOM, seem to be endlessly unable to take into account how the infrastructure and workflow actually operates when making stupid STBDS policies.

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Today's WWW is built on pillars of sand: Buggy, exploitable JavaScript libs are everywhere

Blitheringeejit
Boffin

Re: choices

"If the plan is to make good web sites then *WRITING YOUR OWN* JavaScript (which does exactly and only what you need it to do) instead of importing some huge and potentially vulnerable 3rd-party Javascript library (just to do a bit of pointless whizzy UI effectery) is the RIGHT solution."

FTFY

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Blitheringeejit
Facepalm

I've tried

As a "conscientious web developer", I've tried this. But you're telling people something they don't understand, and don't want to hear - while the cowboys are saying "There's no need to spend that extra money, it's all fine, and people who say this sort of thing are just trying to fleece you for extra monthly fees." So who are they going to listen to?

Also, the site owner rarely gets punished for poor security, because the payload is most often activated on an end-user's computer. The end-user gets their bank account emptied and/or their files ransomewared, but has no idea which site caused the initial malware infection - so there's no little or no incentive for the site owner to secure the site.

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London Internet Exchange members vote no to constitution tweak

Blitheringeejit
Big Brother

Oo'da thortit, eh?

So BT, O2 and Vodafone were already in cahoots with PRESTON. But not Orange/EE, apparently - at least until it was bought by BT, with nary a peep from the Competition Commission.

Funny that.

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Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord

Blitheringeejit
Happy

Just like last time there was a vote on this...

...I despair that Maggie Smith is not included in the shortlist. Or Benjamin Zephaniah.

But if we have to stick with white males, isn't it about time Billy Connolly got a go? He's done every other bloody thing.

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David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

Blitheringeejit
Coat

Re: this area

Good god, you mean El Reg is so minted that it has offices in that London? I always thought it was a shoestring startup based out of a garden shed in Middlesborough. But now that I realise they are so wealthy, I shall cancel my subscription immediately ... no, er.. wait a minute...

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'Completely offended' Sheila calls cops over price-gouging ganja dealer

Blitheringeejit
Childcatcher

@Mr Damage Re: legalise it

"parents who love pizza"

Haven't you heard that there's an epidemic of childhood obesity? The last thing we need is parents with the munchies setting them a bad example!

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We don't want to alarm you, but PostScript makes your printer an attack vector

Blitheringeejit
Boffin

@Pompous Git - Maybe I'm thick too, but ...

...it looks to me from the diagram in the article as though the printer is only connected to the LAN, presumably behind a firewall and NAT. The attack works by a client PC in the LAN hitting an infected website and executing a malicious JS payload locally. That payload exploits the vulnerability in the printer and posts the results back to the attacker.

At least I think that's what the diagram indicates.

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Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

Blitheringeejit
Megaphone

It's all about "So how does that make you feel?"

I've always found that most computer problems are usually best solved by the vigorous application of a copious amount of swearing.

The shoutier the better ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

5
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Boffins link ALIEN STRUCTURE ON VENUS to Solar System's biggest ever grav wave

Blitheringeejit
Thumb Up

Re: gravity wave

Of course you can...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luaRtGn2tsI

(You might want to skip to about 7 minutes in.)

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Well, that sucks: China's Tencent so sorry after vid emerges of faux blowjob office game

Blitheringeejit
Pint

It's at moments like this...

...that I feel immensely privileged to have enjoyed a lifetime of self-employment. Not one office party in over 30 years. Pint for me!

6
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Dodgy Dutch developer built backdoors into thousands of sites

Blitheringeejit
Trollface

My arse is indeed smart...

..because I know that it's just as easy to put a backdoor/logger capability into a Wordpress or Joomla site as it is into a custom store-front, if you're the one building the site.

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Terry Pratchett's self-written documentary to be broadcast in 2017

Blitheringeejit

Being Rational

The Shepherd's Crown (the last Discworld book), has been sitting on my bedside table for over a year - but I can't bear to start reading it, because once it's finished, there will never be any more.

I like to think of myself as a rational being - but one of the things Sir Pterry did best was debunking the mythologies we maintain about ourselves, and I feel much richer for having his perspective on how ridiculous I really am.

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Ex-soldier pleads guilty to terror crime after not revealing iPhone PIN

Blitheringeejit
WTF?

Re: Really didn't know his PIN?

This is the bit I really want to know more about. He claims that he didn't refuse to give the PIN, but didn't know it - on which basis, surely he would have been willing to apply digit to screen and unlock the device for the plod to examine? Did he refuse to do that - or did the plod not give him that option for some reason, like the phone was being held in some secure evidence store and there was no procedure available whereby he and it could be put in the same room?

Anyone know?

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Puny galaxy packs a big punch: A gazillion joules' worth of radio bursts

Blitheringeejit
Headmaster

Re: Obviously it's going to be dim...

But typographically speaking, an apostrophe is a misplaced comma anyway.

I *love* being snarky, especially on issues of pedantry.

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Hate 'contact us' forms? This PHPmailer zero day will drop shell in sender

Blitheringeejit

Re: Not sure the article is accurate...

So is writing your own web applications is now called "homebrew CMS"?

I guess code does manage content, but I prefer to avoid generalised frameworks, which is what I understand by the term "CMS". Libraries are different - eg in this case, where a generic CMS might have a vulnerability to this exploit buried somewhere in thousands of lines of other peoples' code, whereas the PHPMailer library itself is easy to protect with simple validation. I use PHPMailer, but wouldn't dream of passing it any un-validated or un-sanitised user data.

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Blitheringeejit
Holmes

Not sure the article is accurate...

The article seems to imply that this can only be exploited if the form provides a Sender address field (which would be unusual on a contact form), but the proof of concept shows the exploit being crafted into the destination email address on the contact form.

Which is why incoming form data should ALWAYS be sanitised and validated before doing anything with it! Any decently coded form handler wouldn't fall victim to this, AFAICS.

1
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Gov claws back £440m for rural broadband

Blitheringeejit
Flame

Circle jerk

So HMG clawed back some of the money (our money!) which they gave to BT to roll out rural broadband - but they don't actually get to put the money back in the public purse for spending on schools, hospitals and bombs - they have to give it back to BT to roll out rural broadband. And meanwhile, most "rural areas" (including some within the M25) still struggle along with band which is more anorexic than broad.

I wonder if any of the civil servants who signed off on the original deal with BT are now working as highly-paid executives for (just a wild guess) ... BT?

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NASA – get this – just launched 8 satellites from a rocket dropped from a plane at 40,000ft

Blitheringeejit
Boffin

Good stuff - but....

"They take their signals from the GPS system ... and use those to work out the wind speed on the surface."

I thought it was illegal, or impossible, or something like that, to know both where you are and how fast and in what direction you're travelling. So these satellites can expect a visit from the Quantum Enforcement Police, who will collapse their probability waveforms with extreme prejudice.

In the meantime though - how does this method of launching satellites compare with the traditional method of ground-launched rockety things, in terms of cost and reliability? Wouldn't it be easier to launch everything orbit-bound like this?

3
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Busted Windows 8, 10 update blamed for breaking Brits' DHCP

Blitheringeejit
Windows

Five hours? Don't be so impatient!

I have rebuilt a few Win7 boxen recently, starting with SP1 CD (or preinstall), then installing the Convenience update rollup (http://www.catalog.update.microsoft.com/Search.aspx?q=3125574), then letting Windows Update have a go. With Office installed and set to update, the average runtime for this entire process is 36-48 hours - but it does succeed.

Needless to say I wouldn't be seen dead running an MS OS myself. But those who pay me are adamant that it's their only option, and they pay me by the hour - so I can live with it, as long as they agree to stick with Win7, and not touch Win10 with the longest of bargepoles.

8
1

Fatal flaw found in PricewaterhouseCoopers SAP security software

Blitheringeejit
Mushroom

Are we sure these are bugs?

PWC have a long history of book-cooking and tax-juggling (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-31147276 , http://www.taxjustice.net/tag/pwc/ etc etc) ...so why assume these "features" are actually bugs? Surely "...manipulation of sensitive data including PII such as customer master data and HR payroll information, unauthorized payment transactions and transfer of money..." is exactly the kind of functionality you'd want if you're running an operation as shady and disreputable as PWC.

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BAE Systems' autonomous research aircraft flies itself to Scotland

Blitheringeejit
Boffin

I'm looking forward to ...

...the cabin announcements.

"This is your captain speaking. I'd like to welcome you aboard this autonomous flight, and reassure anyone who is worrying because I talk like Stephen Hawking, that I'm actually even more intelligent than he is, so you are perfectly safe.

I'm afraid that takeoff is slightly delayed while we await a delivery of lemon-soaked paper napkins for your comfort and enjoyment - but in the meantime, please enjoy the complimentary drinks and snacks which the cabin droids will shortly bring round.

Oh, and before anyone asks, I'm afraid that I cannot open the pod bay doors, even if your name is Dave. Sorry.

Captain out."

10
0

Woman rescues red pepper Donald Trump from vegetarian chilli

Blitheringeejit

Mistaken identity

Definitely more Cartman than Trump - though it can be very hard to tell the difference sometimes.

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Ransomware scams cost Brits £4.5m per year

Blitheringeejit
Boffin

£4.5m per year eh? But read this first!!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/11/25/bofh_2016_episode_14/

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How to confuse a Euro-cop: Survey reveals the crypto they love to hate

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

A fuck load...

...of British-born people is a fuck load of British citizens - emphatically not "Pakistanis". By no means all the Brits who have gone to fight with ISIS come from families of Pakistani origin. Not all of them are even slightly brown - a good few white nutters have joined the cause.

To illustrate the subtleties at work here (because I'm guessing that subtlety isn't your strong suit), Britain's most famous jihadi, yer actual Jihadi John, was born in Kuwait to Iraqi parents - so before he was righteously offed, he was an Arab, which is seriously different from a Pakistani. If you deny or don't care about that difference, then you're part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Ignorant racial stereotyping is what extremists like ISIS do - we need to know better, and do better. Not least because "know thine enemy" is a rather important weapon in fighting both ideological and military battles. Ultimately ISIS will lose because they are ignorant and stupid - and the smarter everyone opposing them can be, the sooner they will be beaten.

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No super-kinky web smut please, we're British

Blitheringeejit
WTF?

Thou Shalt Not View Face-sitting????

Presumably sounds the death-knell for reruns of 1970s World Of Sport wrestling bouts....

4
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Trump's taxing problem: The end of 'affordable' iPhones

Blitheringeejit
Alert

>> It won't be so bad

If I were living in Estonia, or maybe even Poland, I wouldn't be feeling so sure about that right now.

5
0

We're great, you don't understand competition law, Google tells Europe

Blitheringeejit
Boffin

How about making things a lot simpler...

...and instead of trying to make incomprehensibly abstract laws about how to regulate "competition" between advertisers, just make some simple tax laws which force all these companies pay a decent amount of tax in all the countries in which they operate.

I really couldn't give a flying toss about advertising and search results, and unlike Amazon, Facebook, Ebay and whoever, I actually get a lot of direct benefit from what Google provides for free - not search results, they are always going to be commercially biased, but definitely mapping and navigation info, and some of their cloud services.

I'd hate to see the EU regulators piss Google off so much that they take the free stuff away - but I really want them to pay a fair share of tax on the profits they make from their advertising business, and pay it in the countries where those profits are earned.

1
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DRAMA ON MARS: Curiosity bot fires laser at alien metal object

Blitheringeejit
Joke

>>And autopilot!

Surely it's not that difficult to design a collision avoidance system for a vehicle which has the entire planet to itself.

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0
Blitheringeejit
Holmes

@democracy

Funny, I don't remember voting for a government. I voted for an MP, and I'd like that MP to have a say in how the country gets governed.

7
2

Accessories to crime: Facial recog defeated by wacky paper glasses

Blitheringeejit
IT Angle

Free the baggy pants pair!

I think that's a little harsh on the male population of Turkey, and similarly toasty places. Hot climate + baggy pants = good!

1
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What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

Blitheringeejit

Re: Lockheed Blackbird SR-71

My thought exactly - though my plan would be to TELL everyone that the team are flying SR-71s, but obviously they are flying too high and too fast for anyone to see them. Which means we don't need to actually buy and run them at all, saving a fortune in taxpayers' finest.

And if anyone in the beancounting dept insists on seeing actual footage, this could easily be sim'd.

7
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Boffins coax non-superconductive stuff into dropping the 'non'

Blitheringeejit
Boffin

@AceRimmer1980

"Sorry but all our operatives are busy helping other species at the moment. You are number 1.62x10^43 in the support queue. We aim to respond to all support tickets within 1 billion of your earth-years - thankyou for your patience."

4
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Samsung are amateurs – NASA shows how you really do a battery fire

Blitheringeejit
Holmes

We're coming at this problem from the wrong direction

All this battery stuff is clearly not fit for purpose - we need to rethink how we do power storage/delivery. I think mobile devices can take a leaf out of the National Grid book on this, by carrying a tank of water on the roof, and generating power by letting it fall onto a pelton wheel at the bottom of the machine, and run away harmless and pollution-free onto the ground.

Should have no trouble Kickstarting this, it's a stroke of genius, though I say so myself.

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