* Posts by Neil Paterson

43 posts • joined 24 Apr 2008

Google unfurls Dead Sea Scrolls

Neil Paterson
Black Helicopters


But unfortunately the conspiracy theories will continue unless they publish *all* of the scrolls. Can't see that happening in the next, oooh, millennium?

Oxford adds woot! to dictionary

Neil Paterson

Not just compiled...

...but wrote. The Fowler brothers had to actually write the entries from S to Z, as the complete OED hadn't got that far through the alphabet by then.


PARIS team to tackle the ultimate post-pint snack

Neil Paterson

Soft southern sh***s!

There's way too much protein in those, sounds positively healthy. What you need is a deep fried battered pizza: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep-fried_pizza

Porn found in Osama bin Laden compound

Neil Paterson

Daily Fail headline?

Onan the Barbarian...

Digital player maker 'incited consumers to break the law', says ASA

Neil Paterson

Complaint filed with ASA re MS and Apple...

...and also emailed Private Eye about the ruling and counter-complaints. Here's hoping the law gets changed.

Ecstasy doesn't make rave-goers any stupider - official

Neil Paterson

Reg units needed...

Just how large is "'avin' it large?" in nanoWales?

Intel demos MeeGo 'tablet user experience'

Neil Paterson

No multi-user support?!

I've subscribed to meego bug #2682 "Add multi-user support" for many months, and the DAY BEFORE the MS deal was announced someone at nokia announced to the list

"--- Comment #17 from jukkaeklund <jukka.eklund@nokia.com> 2011-02-10 08:09:56 PST ---

I'm sure no one can deny the validity of this feature request. However this is

not proceeding because there seems to be no business or otherwise interest to

develop notebook further. MeeGo is open so if there is need, somebody can

implement this based on the contribution guidelines. Is there somebody willing

to take the ownership of this and discuss in the architecture and PM community?"

Unless Intel pick this up, Meego will be doomed to fail on anything other than phones.

( no, I can't code...)


Neil Paterson

Tweeting live from court...

"Perhaps that's a more substantial move towards greater official openness than marked by Assange's publication of the US embassy cables".

I'd love to read an officially sanctioned tweet reporting a super-injunction...

Anonymous attacks PayPal in 'Operation Avenge Assange'

Neil Paterson


That you posted as AC - that is quite possibly the finest, most elegantly argued comment I have ever read at El Reg! Keep it up!

Pizza Express gets iPod makeover

Neil Paterson

The brand isn't called "i" for nothing...

... what next? The i-Gig app? Comes with an aroma dispenser to get rid of sweaty giggers smell, eye covers so you don't get distracted from the music, and extra powerful noise-cancelling so you can listen to your own choice of music. Why listen to the vulgar rubbish being beamed at the plebs around you?

Apple's FaceTime for Mac debuts with security holes

Neil Paterson

@Sceptic, Bear Features et al.

Yes, but this is His Holiness we're talking about - Everything that comes from Cupertino is Godly perfection in code form, surely?

Apple don't *do* betas to test, debug and improve. They are there as marketing tools to be used by the early-adopting true Disciples.

Wikileaks founder denied Swedish residency permit

Neil Paterson


Am I imagining it, or didn't Iceland introduce some hefty pro-leaking legislation recently? If he took them up, we'd be able to claim that "'not keeping Mum's' gone to Iceland"!

I'll get my coat...

(and apologies to the non-UK readership who won't get a very rubbish reference to a UK advertising campaign)

Guardian super-blogger flames Reg boffinry desk

Neil Paterson


I was about to mention "Flat Earth News" by Nick Davies. Should be required reading for anyone posting opinions relating to ANY online news outlet, especially those criticising newspapers...

Lowest common denominator now rules *aLL* journalism. (Prove me wrong here Reg, do some original investigative journalism about how much more accurate online is than trad. journalism! Probably not using AGW as your case study, though?)

Neil Paterson

Initiated a flame war?

Smoke, meet fire...

Hefty physicist: Global warming is 'pseudoscientific fraud'

Neil Paterson


Are you aware that Orlowski's hijacked your username and password to post items under your name?

Much of recent global warming actually caused by Sun

Neil Paterson


Surely as a Murdoch rag The Sun is highly sceptical of AGW? How can it be to blame for it then?

Google Earth 'Liquid Galaxy' open sourced*

Neil Paterson

@ Jake - "Ubuntu sysadmin scripts"

"We use Ubuntu Linux for its stability and ease of administration" - page one of the HOWTO.

Maybe the technically incompetent marketing types wrote the manual as well as the quote from the article?

My distro's better than your distro! Erm, no. Yours has users that have a superiority complex. Surely that's a bug, not a feature? Can we not just say that some distros are better at certain things than others, and leave it at that?

UN appoints alien liaison boffin

Neil Paterson

Has anyone at the UN asked SETI about this?

Good article here:


Given that it's fairly likely SETI will be doing the detecting and have strict protocols not to tell media or politicians postdetection, I'd be worried if I were Paul Davies....

Unless I'm missing something?

Nuclear merchant ships could open up Arctic routes for real

Neil Paterson

For Orlowski's sake...

Read up on your "eco-churnalism":


China gives Google nod of approval, renews licence

Neil Paterson


..as to why this story has not been shredded to pieces by El Reg commentards???

(I do love a good conspiracy theory, me, but I suspect it may have more to do with this story being soft-leaked almost a week ago - reputation management anyone?)

Greatest Living Briton loses £30m

Neil Paterson
Black Helicopters

@ NoneSuch: Stephen Hawking "Greatest Living Briton"

Watch out, it's a conspiracy I tell you all! NoneSuch (He doesn't exist, see?) is part of Hawking's conspiracy to take over scientific progress and therefore the future of humankind! All this nonsense about the LHC being about to destroy the universe, it's balls, spread by the Hawking cabal to try and stop it proving the existence of the Higgs-Boson, and therefore DISPROVING his own theories!

He's actually Davros, I tell you! He may have a brain the size of a planet, but we'll ALL be trundling around in shopping trolleys following his orders if his conspiracy works, I tell you!

(Did I use enough exclamation marks to make that sound genuine?)

p.s. M'Learned Friend would like to point out that all of the above was obviously meant as satire, and not to dis-respect the obvious talent and reputation of Professor Hawking...

Vote Lib Dem, doom humanity to extinction

Neil Paterson

In the absence of...

...an intelligent, reasoned response (which this article doesn't merit anyway) due to sheer anger at this drivel appearing on an *IT/Tech* website, can I just say to Lewis: if you want to promote fear, GO AND COWER IN A CORNER, YOU SWIPE.

Vote for positive reasons!

Administrator access: Right or privilege?

Neil Paterson

oh f++k off

sorry, not the poster you're replying to, but really, go and stare at some goats or something?

Microsoft roasted for Office 2010 standards FAIL

Neil Paterson
Gates Horns

Double standards

see the above..

Branson's SpaceShipTwo rocketplane gets off ground

Neil Paterson

Private Eye

(Thats a UK investigative/satirical magazine for you over the pond..)

Quick analogy for those old enough to remember:

Years of reporting about how Robert Maxwell was a major business fraud, followed by his untimely death falling from his luxury yacht.

Years of reporting about how Richard Branson's business accounts are a little obscure to follow at times (ahem!). Next step?

That is some way to go, Beardie!

Britain expels diplomat over faked passports in Hamas hit row

Neil Paterson
Black Helicopters

Did Israel borrow your passport?

I just listened to the full anouncment from and questions to Milliband. Gerald Kaufman, a normally fairly pro-Israeli MP used some extremely colourful phrases which I suspect were only enabled by parliamentary privilege. He described the passport and security systems at Ben Gurion airport as (IIRC) "outrageous criminal operations", and asked Milliband if he would like information that he (Kaufman) had, from personal experience, which relate to the case.

Curious and curiouser...

Google redirects China to uncensored Hong Kong servers

Neil Paterson


Correct me if i'm wrong (likely) but Hong Kong is actually part of China? How does this work if it is to be totally transparent?

Nokia intros last of its four phone files

Neil Paterson


Will it be cheap grey plastic, and liable to fall over when cornering?

Jobs: I'll decide what to do with Apple's $40bn cash pile

Neil Paterson

My enemy's enemy is my friend...

...so given Google's spat with China, hell, why not buy China?!

Open source - the once and future dream

Neil Paterson

Neil Paterson

Use your real name, d*ckwad!

and DON'T call me a f***ing hippy!

Large Hadron Collider to fire up again next Thursday

Neil Paterson


...it leaks!

Big Blue demos 100GHz chip

Neil Paterson


"Also notable is the fact that the graphene transistor's 100GHz performance was at room temperature. When chilled, even higher performance is to be expected"...

...and in the real world, when it's at higher than room temperature, it'll be slower...

Bah, humbug!

Sony plots death of Amazon Kindle

Neil Paterson

Memory sticks

In reply to the previous 2 posts about Memory Stick Pro, the PRS 300 and PRS 600 both take SD/SDHC cards too... maybe Sony have given up on trying to create a standard?

Guardian gagged over Commons question

Neil Paterson

@AC 17:52

all good... except that Peter Carter-Rucking-Cant died a while ago, which I guess is why "she who must be obeyed" allowed such an inexcusable mis-spelling of his name to appear on here...

Microsoft GPL violation hits memory hole

Neil Paterson


...please sue! (unless of course some other entity should do it)

Google lights up Moon on Apollo 11 anniversary

Neil Paterson

@Graham Marsden

Love it! "What a *rude* machine!"

See http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/10/03/street_view_territory_marking/

for the contemporary equivalent...

Neil Paterson

I don't understand....

why no streetview?

Asus blames lack of Linux Eee PCs on Atom hold-ups

Neil Paterson

Another delay??

superGPS.co.uk now reporting: "All ASUS Eee Linux Versions have now been officially delayed by ASUS for 2 weeks. We have been told to expect deliveries week beginning Monday 28th July"

Meanwhile the XP version sits on the shelves, unloved.

En Attendant Godot...

BSA slams EC's 'narrow-minded' interoperability vision

Neil Paterson

Hold on...

Presumably the BSA think that versions that contain IP would improve metres, seconds, etc?

Or am i missing something?

Swede packs off GPS to make world's biggest sketch

Neil Paterson

Re: Those instructions...

Doesn't prove a thing, but just happened to look at the metainfo of his instructions at http://animasher.s3.amazonaws.com/nordenankar/travel%20instructions.pdf .

Created on 6/5/08, six weeks or so AFTER he sent the thing off with DHL...

City anti-Scientology protestor avoids court summons

Neil Paterson


Unfortunately they seem to be like any other "religion" in every respect, including bloodshed. Watch the youtube video and look at the website on a placard about deaths- I would post the address here, but don't know whether El Reg's legal eagles would be comfortable with it...

SANS sounds alarm on Debian OpenSSL flaw

Neil Paterson

Fixed quicker than M$ can pounce on an easy target in developing markets...

So, that's me patched two days ago. Where's the news?

OLPC sweet talks Microsoft

Neil Paterson

Oh Hell - P*ss Eee

Anyone have Negroponte's personal email so I can let him know how I feel about this?

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