* Posts by Long John Brass

387 posts • joined 12 Apr 2007

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IT firms guilty of blasting customers with soul-numbing canned music

Long John Brass
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Re: Suggestions for tech firms' hold music

A mate was working for $corporate entity many moons ago; Was rostered on over the Christmas break.

Since he had access to the phone system, he brought in a mix tape and duly inserted it into the on-hold system.

His manager complimented him on his taste in music, but mentioned that the Dead Kennedys was perhaps inappropriate in a business setting. Apparently Frigging in the rigging and To drunk to fuck wasn't to a customers liking over said Christmas Hols :)

He didn't get fired though; So that was a bonus

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Pioneer Kodi plug-in unplugs

Long John Brass
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Re: Non issue

Have you not seen a recent Disney Flick?

Steam boat willy is now an animated trademark

Copyright end-run complete!

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Chinese e-tailer beats Amazon to the skies with one-ton delivery drones

Long John Brass
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Coat

Re: One-ton

One wonders what noise it would make upon impact

.......<WANG>

Yes, yes; I'm going, no need to push

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Project Gollum: Because NHS Caring means NHS Sharing

Long John Brass
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FAIL

Re: Am I the only one appalled that an attack like WannaCry can happen to the NHS?

and yes, the backup media is stored off site.

Yes; In the boot of a car, parked on a <shady> street. I have seen this done :(

It didn't end well.

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Agile consultant behind UK's disastrous Common Platform Programme steps down

Long John Brass
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Once upon a time....

I remember doing some Systems Analysis work for an large(ish) education organ. (Yes it was a VERY long time ago)

We talked to all the management to try and figure out what each department did and how it related to the larger organisation. These were the days where most functions were completed via paperwork. When we went to talk to the people at the coal face, we discovered that what the managers thought the department did and what it ACTUALLY did were two different things.

Had a mate who also got roped into some Govt consulting work (Against his will) some 15 years later

He mentioned to me that that although working for a different part of the Govt; The same bullshit was still going on. Additionally, trying to contain the scope creep/churn from the customer was a nightmare! They were constantly changing specs, scope, requirements for parts of the system even completed and signed off ones; every couple of months. When the clients were told by his PHBs that this could be done but it would cost T&M they always said yes, right until the invoices came due; then the client nit-picked every single detail, argued every toss of the coin.

He and his team spent the next ~18 months fighting the customer tooth 'n nail to actually get a system out the door that would actually meet requirements. I believe it was lauded as an shining example of Govt/Private partnership and what could be achieved.

Arguing Waterfall v. Agile in that sort of environment is like arguing the relative merits of paper v plastic bags; While plummeting to the earth from 30,000 feet without a parachute.

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Industrial plant robots frequently connected to the 'net without authentication

Long John Brass
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Terminator

I learned the hard way that....

Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned.

And now I know where the hell she got them from!

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Tesla: Revenues up, losses deepen, in start to 'exciting' 2017

Long John Brass
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Re: I'm surprised

I think you might be surprised what a wide array of 18650 style cells can produce. More than enough for cooking. Maybe not enough for heating an entire house for an entire night just yet. For that you need a quite deep stack of storage.

There are a few people doing DIY "power wall" setups

Some mad bastard of an Ozzy is up to 50kw/h and and can pull 5kw from his setup, Don't know if it would do a full 5/kw for the whole 10 hours but....

Things are getting very interesting in the home power storage arena. Telsa's power wall v1 offering seems a little anaemic, but an iteration or two may well change the game :)

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Best be Nimble, best be quick. You're out of a job at HPE – and that's sh*t

Long John Brass
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Gimp

Re: I am not a resource!

I detest the term "human resources". It reduces humans to the same status as a lump of iron ore.

Would that they thought that highly of us; Iron ore is valuable, Human talent .... not so much

Gimp mask: as that is all we are to them :(

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What's driving people out of tech biz? Unfair treatment, harassment, funnily enough – study

Long John Brass
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FAIL

Twas ever thus

Yup ... Back when I were a strapping young PFY; Had a similar experience with my second real job (tm). Was a hell hole pressure cooker gig with demanding clients and worse management. Was told repeatedly that I just needed to harden the fuck up and that if I couldn't take the heat to get the hell out of the deep fryer.

The war drums of diversity make me deeply uneasy however; Good tech people are hard to find and a small percentage of the population to begin with, to try and mandate requisite genitalia and skin colour seems stupid to me. If someone has the drive & skills to make it in tech then that's all that should be required. Don't care if my team mates are blue with three heads, If they do good work and turn up to help when the shit inevitably hits the whirly thing; then they are good in my book.

Most upper manglemnet are blithering idiots who have the opinion that Techies are just another replaceable cog in the machine and any cookie cutter replacement will do just fine in the assembly line that is corporate IT; By the time they realise their mistake the company they are ruining in falling into the mountainside under full power.

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Secure Boot booted from Debian 9 'Stretch'

Long John Brass
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Flame

UEFI blows chunks

UEFI an twitchy, unstable value free replacement for something that has worked for decades

The number of times a machine has failed to restart or failed to install at all due to that evil pile O crap

*grumble*

You'll get my BIOS when you pry it out of my cold dead fingers.

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Samsung Smart TV pwnable over Wi-Fi Direct, pentester says

Long John Brass
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Big Brother

concluded that this is not a security threat

Maybe someone should get all the Samsung Security Muppets TVs to randomly turn on and play some Rick Astly videos; Or maybe endless loops of Crazy Frog

or is that *TOO* evil?

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systemd-free Devuan Linux hits version 1.0.0

Long John Brass
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Re: Systemd v sysvinit

I'm running Ubuntu under systemd and can't tell the difference

And that's fine; No it really is, But its not the issue at stake. Some of us HAVE had issues with systemd. And when we find that we want to take it off our machines WE CAN'T; And that is why all the hate.

Just because you can't see or understand the issues with systemd on your laptop doesn't mean that Me with ~500 machines to take care of, if forced to use that festering pile of shit! but ripping systemd out of many modern distros is a fraught and painful experience (I suspect by design)

Forget arguments about it's design, forget ease of use arguments, forget stability arguments... It's about the choice of using or or not; And I get VERY grumpy when people try to ram shit down my throat.

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Long John Brass
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confusing script-based system

If you find a few simple scripts confusing then may I suggest you try Windows or MacOS

They might be more your speed.

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Eric S. Raymond says you probably fit one of eight tech archetypes

Long John Brass
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Pirate

Re: Attempting to pigeonhole people has a major issue.

Plastic with a good lid.

You MONSTER!!!

Plastic is NOT biodegradable

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Long John Brass
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Trollface

Re: Attempting to pigeonhole people has a major issue.

Me, I find it a hell of a lot easier to treat people as individuals, instead of futilely trying to fit them into nice, tidy little boxes.

Have you tried a chainsaw or wood chipper? Make it easier to get em in those pesky boxes.

Now to figure out how to stop the boxes leaking

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Long John Brass
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Alien

Re: Myers Briggs?

All the cool hip kids are now using this ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits

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Ubuntu UNITY is GNOME-MORE: 'One Linux' dream of phone, slab, desktop UI axed

Long John Brass
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Re: Makes sense

You could have both Gnome and KDE desktops installed, and switch from one to the other and still have all the same apps automatically show up in both sets of menus

Yes; But not quite what I was getting at, The integration I was talking about was/is things like docks, info, message notifiers and inter app messaging, gnome used to use corba and kde dBus.

What I am trying to suggest that the window manager part become a API spec that everyone can use. Either as a supplier (gnome, plasma etc) or consumer (applications).

Some apps won't work well on mobile vs desktop, but maybe you could do something smart like

the app says hey desktop I'm a mobile app, and the DM would then be able to something smarter than just splashing the whole thing over the desktop.

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Long John Brass
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Mushroom

Re: Makes sense

I would posit that's mostly because the UI has to be contextually aware, and the applications have to be coded to accommodate that as well.

Nope sorry; You have that backwards. The app doesn't need to know jack shit about it's desktop environment. That's the job of the display manager. Whats needed is a "standard" set of APIs that applications can call to display themselves and their data to a "screen"

Every device can then have their own display manager that works with the hardware and present the API for applications to use.

This way it doesn't matter if you are running pidgin messenger on a phone, tablet, netbook, laptop desktop; the display my main window call on a phone would then take over the whole screen, on a tablet a strip on one side, etc

X11 was a good first stab, but way to primitive, both KDE and gnome had thier own messaging and API systems and I believe that there is now a way for gnome and KDE apps for example to co-exist on one desktop; This idea needs to be pushed further into a generic API standard that anyone can write to.

Downvote away!

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Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

Long John Brass
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Trollface

Now, where are we going to find three kings?

Dunno about Kings, But I can tell you where you can find some strapping Queens

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Wi-Fi sex toy with built-in camera fails penetration test

Long John Brass
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Paris Hilton

Re: Rooted via back door

I'd suggest any malware that uses this backdoor be named "Brown Eye"...

Rodger that

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Long John Brass
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Gimp

Rooted via back door

Svakom Siime Eye

Damn; I misread that as sLime eye.

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Mediaeval Yorkshirefolk mutilated, burned t'dead to prevent reanimation

Long John Brass
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Re: Help a foreigner, please

> Oh how I miss my diphthong!

Medical science has advanced a fair bit in the last few years; I believe that a simple surgical procedure can restore you to your former glory!

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Lochs, rifle stocks and two EPIC sea gates: Thomas Telford's Highland waterway

Long John Brass
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Re: Great article - shame about the copyediting

Don't be silly. Scotland, like the rest of the UK (at the the time of writing), still uses miles on road signs! Even 5 year olds know what miles are and barely understand kilometres!

An utterly bollocks argument; Most people have very little idea of what an mile or kilometre actually is, they do however understand time. When you look at a map and the distance is 80miles and the speed limit is 40/mph then the distance is two hours. Not much changes is you use metric EG: the distance is 200km and the speed limit it 100/kmh then the distance is two hours

I remember the same stupid arguments being made when I was a kid and NZ moved from Miles to Kilometres. It's utterly irrelevant, once the road signs & maps are converted and the Speedo on the car upgraded then the "understanding" for how far away something is, is exactly the same.

Now get the hell off my bloody lawn

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Forget robot overlords, humankind will get finished off by IoT

Long John Brass
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Re: Already a solution

Welcome to honest Bob's used robot whoreWare House

We have low mileage delivery bots, spares, and much much more

Come down now and get you your mystery prize

One to a customer; No pushing at the back please sir

Come one, Come ALL; To Honest Bob's used bot emporium

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Robo-AI jobs doomsday may, er... not actually happen, say boffins

Long John Brass
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Jesus^H^H^H^H^H Hal-9000 is my co-pilot

I've been thinking of getting a roomba style bot to vacuum

Already have Automatic washing machine & Dryer, A Microwave, etc...

Currently tinkering with a 3d printer and would like to get my sticky fingers on a CNC machine, A LASER cutter would be nice too; Tell me again why robots are bad?

I love driving; But I HATE commuting, a self drive car would be a bloody god-send

The more I can automate my life the happier I am

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Dark matter drought hits older galaxies: Boffins are, rightly, baffled

Long John Brass
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Re: Am I right in thinking...

@Big John

Collect, or perhaps manufacture. If Dark Matter is a by product a stellar process then as the universe and the galaxies within ages; we will see more of it?

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US Marine Corps chiefs declare WAR on stolen sex snap sharing scum

Long John Brass
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Re: War on ${HotTopic}

@mathew42

I agreed with everything you said in your post. What I am suggesting however is that a war on $whatever is massively unlikely to achieve anything.

When you get large numbers of hormonal 20 somethings in the same place at the same time; all from the selfie generation; What exactly do you expect to happen?

Is what happened right? No! ... But not unexpected.

Starting a puritanical witch hunt won't solve it. but at least this current reaction is better than sweeping the whole thing under the carpet, which would be much much worse.

Punishing young idiots for being young idiots won't work. Education + a healthy dose of shame might work better.

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Long John Brass
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Mushroom

War on ${HotTopic}

Given the success rate of...

The war on drugs

The war on terror

The war on poverty

etc ad infinitum

This should end well :/

Although the war on smart seems to be a resounding success

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Sir Tim Berners-Lee refuses to be King Canute, approves DRM as Web standard

Long John Brass
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Re: DRM means you don't own your content

Bullshit Copy-Right != Licence agreement

Copyright is a law that says you may not copy for redistribution a given work for $x number of years

Licence agreements while enforceable by legal means are a civil contract

Or at lease that is the way it used to work :(

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One IP address, multiple SSL sites? Beating the great IPv4 squeeze

Long John Brass
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Re: Thumbs up, but have to respectfully disagree with some things

@Trevor_Pott

> So um...NEXT!

Use Varnish you heathen bastard! :)

NGINX for SSL termination and Varnish as the caching/reverse proxy!

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LUNAR-CY! SpaceX announces a Moon trip-for-two it'll inevitably miss the deadline on

Long John Brass
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Re: I hope his name is Jebediah

I wonder if Falcon Heavy is Onion staged.

Auto pilot would have to be MechJeb; although MJ can't dock for shit he will get you close :)

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Global IPv4 address drought: Seriously, we're done now. We're done

Long John Brass
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Re: It's all Excel's fault

DMZ machines run both stacks. IPv4 and IPv6, these machines are in a DMZ and can talk to world+dog it also has a connection back to the legacy back-end. On these machines you run a protocol proxy EG Varnish, SMTP relay or whatever. This setup is pretty common for IPv4 only networks.

Back-end only talks IPv4

For outbound traffic you pull the same trick EG Squid transparent proxy. Hmmm I wonder if there are IPv4 to IPv6 translators.... May make and interesting project. Shouldn't be that hard .... tcp/udp traffic doesn't know or care about IP/v4/IPv6

The big issue is that most internet providers only offer IPv4 :(

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Long John Brass
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Re: It's all Excel's fault

> To use IPv6, you gotta grok IPv6

YES

Not the point though.

You set up a *FEW* DMZ machines that do both IPv6/IPv4 to the outside world and IPv4 *only* to the internal network. You don't need to move the whole real-estate across

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Long John Brass
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Linux

Re: It's all Excel's fault

Nope it's simple.

If you are serving traffic to the world+dog you set up a web server/gateway that can do IPv6 and everything behind the firewall stays on the same old IPv4 addresses

Same for outbound NAT

*simples*

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NASA's Curiosity puts cat among the climate pigeons: Lack of CO2 sinks water theory

Long John Brass
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Re: "which was supposedly a lot thicker"

About 3) Why does it have to be the sun doing the heating?

at 3.5B years ago; couldn't the heat source be the residual heat from the planets formation?

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Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

Long John Brass
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WTF?

Voodoo

Once upon a time ago (1990's), A co-worker & I chopped a whole bunch of chips off some dead motherboards, placed them in a nice little velvet bag that some mouse came in.

The shtick was we would huddle round a misbehaving machine & throw the "Bones". If the letter side on most were up the machine could be saved, if the "chips were down" then the PC was back to base for repair.

What scared us was how many people (users) thought this was an acceptable way to diagnose a computer fault :(

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UK.gov tells freelance techies to slap 20 per cent on fees as IR35 tax hike looms

Long John Brass
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Headmaster

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!

@Velv

No silly...

They Get £400 million and spend an extra £400 million; That's £800 million.

*That's* how big corporations and governments do math :)

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Furby Rickroll demo: What fresh hell is this?

Long John Brass
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Trollface

missed opportunity

No no no, Get it to teach the kiddies all the bad words.

Mommy: Jimmy where DID you hear that word?

Jimmy: Furby told me

Mommy: Don't tell fib Johnny, tell me where you heard that word

Furby: Tell her <insert victim here> told me

Furby; Teaching kids to swear like sailors since 2017

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Penguins force-fed root: Cruel security flaw found in systemd v228

Long John Brass
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Mushroom

You don't get it do you

@ckdizz

IF I could just rip systemd off my machines without it bricking everything along with it I would be happy

BUT I can't, remove systemd packages and there goes your whole fucking desktop

EVERYTHING now has a dependency on system fucking D

I would hate it a lot LESS if I had a choice about using it, but I don't so cue up the hate

Get it now?

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Oh, the things Vim could teach Silicon Valley's code slingers

Long John Brass
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Re: As a long-time Vim user (since 2005 or so)

Heathen!

TECO forever!!!!!

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Seven pet h8s: Verity is sorely vexed

Long John Brass
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Re: I started laughing at the innocent youngster that wrote this article

I hate make and all its bastard offspring...

Hint if you need an extra tool to write the config for the tool that makes the config for the thing you are building; you are doing it wrong

These days I just use a bloody shell script to call the compiler, works every time and is 'human' readable

cMake, make & M4 can all burn in the pits of Microsoft for all I care

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Chevy Bolt electric car came alive, reversed into my workbench, says stunned bloke

Long John Brass
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Re: Not surprised the parking brake is so mysterious to Americans

I've had both manual & automatic cars over the years, An auto + v6 is very nice for commuting (Except for mileage/kilometerage?) start stop traffic is a pain in the left leg.

I've always used the hand brake when parking the car, never understood people who just leave the damned thing in park; gives me the heebie jeebies. Parking a manual on a hill I always put the car in reverse just in case the handbrake fails or doesn't hold like it should.

Never had problems moving back to a manual after driving an auto, but the other way round is a bloody nightmare, I always end up slamming the brakes when my left foot goes for the clutch pedal & nails the brakes by mistake. very embarrassing :)

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Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Long John Brass
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o_O

No, go on; Tell us how you really feel :)

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Euro space agency's Galileo satellites stricken by mystery clock failures

Long John Brass
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Re: M.A.S.E.R/L.A.S.E.R pedantry

I thought microwaves were photons; doesn't that make the M.A.S.E.R/L.A.S.E.R argument a little redundant?

Inquiring minds want to know; Not me you understand, but inquiring minds :)

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Terry Pratchett's self-written documentary to be broadcast in 2017

Long John Brass
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Re: Clacks

Mine too

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Facebook hires Hillary Clinton to lead assault on fake news*

Long John Brass
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Big Brother

PIPPA and SOPA redux

My guess is that they will use "Fake News" as a won't someone think of the children type excuse to finally bring the internet under control.

Either way... The Russians did it.

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Elon Musk wants to get into the boring business, literally

Long John Brass
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Meh

Re: Yeah because its so easy

@Ledswinger

If cities want to solve their hideous mobility challenges, then they need to start off trying to be smaller and more decentralised

Sorry mate; But having lived in both London and a "smaller and more decentralised" city I can tell you first hand that they both suck. In London there is the ever present crush of people on the trains and the underground + the high costs for transport and living; In Auckland there is the ever present crush of people on the roads who should be in charge of anything more complicated than a pencil eraser and even present a chocking hazard for most of them, then there is the costs associated with fuel, parking on road costs etc.

There is no Utopia I'm afraid :(

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Why your gigabit broadband lags like hell – blame Intel's chipset

Long John Brass
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Unhappy

Re: Other Intel Chip

> So have Intel a problem writing drivers right now?

Intel driver have always been crap. If you ever tried to do anything slightly out of the ordinary with the display setup it would shit the bed at semi regular intervals; Assuming it ever worked at all.

Caveat: My experience was with shitsets 810 thru 945 on Linux systems

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'Toyota dealer stole my wife's saucy snaps from phone, emailed them to a swingers website'

Long John Brass
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Trollface

Wouldn't it be funny if...

Toyota INC/CO/LTD ended up on a sex offender registry

I mean companies are people now right?

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Tobacco giant predicts the end of smoking. Panic ensues

Long John Brass
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@Grunchy

Plenty of "Starter kits" from various Vape shops

That's how I made the switch from tobacco

The trick I used that seemed to work the best was the following rule

If I wanted a smoke then I would have a couple of puffs from the eCig, if I still wanted a smoke then I would. Within 3 months I had stopped smoking tobacco without really noticing it. No pain, no muss, no fuss.

I think that is one of the reasons why the anti-smoking crowd simply HATE eCigs the migration from tobacco to a cleaner safer alternative doesn't come with enough suffering for the user.

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