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212 posts • joined 12 Apr 2007


Square peg of modem won't fit into round hole of PC? I saw to it, bloke tells horrified mate


Re: ain't no problem in the world that can't be solved with hot-snot

Not to forget the wire coat hanger. Sadly in short supply these days, but I once drove all the way from Spain to the UK with an exhaust system held on with their help.

Be still, our drinking hearts: Help Reg name whisky beast conjured by Swedish distillers and AI blendbot



That's a 'minature'! Should have put a ruler in the photo!

GIMP open source image editor forked to fix 'problematic' name


Re: Just drop the G

FYI Geek = someone who eats live animals - not gimp.

Also means someone with an unhealthy interest in tech I believe - not sre how that came about.

There's Huawei too many vulns in Chinese giant's firmware: Bug hunters slam pisspoor code


Cuts both ways?

Presumably China's infrastructure uses Huawei kit, so their systems are riddled with these known 'backdoors' and vulns too?

Or do they produce two different ranges of equipment, one for home use and one for export? Seems unlikely.

There's a reason why my cat doesn't need two-factor authentication


Re: some cats can circumvent the flap

Had the same problem. The cat flap company (I think it was Staywell) replaced the flap with a USA standard flap that was 'Racoon Proof' free of charge! Not had the problem since.

Could you just pop into the network room and check- hello? The Away Team. They're... gone


Re: Totally unrelated to IT but related to explosions

My late father (born in the 19th century) was old school when it came to electrical wiring. To join two lengths of flex, the bare ends, stripped with teeth ( a habit it took me years to kick) were twisted together and folded back in opposite directions along the flex. Then the whole join was wrapped in what he called 'electricians tape' - a sort of cloth based tape soaked in a kind of black tarry goo. This seemed to work OK and was industry standard around our house even after I , as a curious 5 year old pulled one of these joins apart while trying to figure out how the 'wireless' worked. The ensuing flash and bang surprised but enthralled me.

The rest of the family were horrified, but strangely I have never been afraid of electricity since.

Wanted: Big iron geeks to help restore IBM 360 mainframe rescued from defunct German factory by other big iron geeks


Re: Just bunged them a tenner

Valves! You were lucky!When I started out we had to make do with a steam powered difference engine.

Facebook: Yeah, we hoovered up 1.5 million email address books without permission. But it was an accident!


Re: Not just Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg?

When 2FA means sweet FA privacy: Facebook admits it slurps mobe numbers for more than just profile security


Re: At what point do the employees wise up ?

Nick Clegg...

Senior slippery sex stimulator sales exec sacked for shafting .org-asmic cyber-space place, a tribunal hears


Re: Well, still an idiot

yesyesyes.org is up and running. Just checked.

Senator Wyden goes ballistic after US telcos caught selling people's location data yet again


Ticked Off?

In UK english this means admonished or 'told off' - what does it mean here?

Memo to Mark Sedwill: Here's how to reboot government IT



"(DVLA) brought all of its IT services in-house, pulling in know how that had been at the system integrators. The techies were then closer to the problems they were trying to solve"

I have always wondered why the DVLA online system worked so well, considering they were .gov

Here's why AI can't make a catchier tune than the worst pop song in the charts right now



At best I would call the audio result a pastiche. It strikes me that a lot of AI manifestations are simply that.

Who wanted a future in which AI can copy your voice and say things you never uttered? Who?!


Re: Bedtime stories...

I think it's highly unlikely Stephen Fry would be anyone's dad. Just saying.

A tiny Ohio village turned itself into a $3m speed-cam trap. Now it has to pay back the fines


Re: Accidental broom sale

What's that? Googled it and the only relevant result was a link to this post.

Can someone explain?

Electric cars to create new peak hour when they all need a charge


Re: I've been pointing this out for years.

True. Look what happened to low diesel fuel tax untill there were enough diesel users 'hooked'.

It was increased so that the diesel price is now more than petrol. I imagine the increase in diesel efficiency (in mpg) is now completely offset resulting in no loss of income to the taxman.

The same thing will happen with electricity costs. A way will be found to tax electricity for road use (EERV?) to make up the shortfall. There will only be a brief window where electic cars will be cheaper to run. Death and Taxes.

BT hikes prices for third time in 18 months


Any Recommendations?

a) If you find a good restaurant don't tell anyone.

b) ISP ditto.

The Google Home Mini: Great, right up until you want to smash it in fury


Self driving car?

hmm. Perhaps not.

Spotify cleared of exposing kids to self-love innuendo in TV spot


Not a children's programme??

I always thought Britain's Got Talent was a children's programme.

Toshiba conglomerate: Can we keep going? We don't know


Re: 'Ullo John! Gotta New Motor?

Small point: For the record, that would be Alexei Sayle not Ian Dury.

You're Donald Trump's sysadmin. You've got data leaks coming out the *ss. What to do


Blighty too

Note: our beloved Grauniad website has a permanent front page link with similar information.

KCL staff offered emotional support, clergy chat to help get over data loss


Re: Yesterday

er, a milestone hanging over me?

Electrified bird bum bomb shuts down US nuclear power plant


Avian Conspiracy

Didn't this happen to the Large Hadron Collider some time ago?

Between you, EE and the lamppost ... this UK cell network is knackered


BT Speak

a small number of customers = everybody

may have = have

W is for WTF: Google CEO quits, new biz Alphabet takes over


Re: If I'm bored with Google

Thank God you translated 'bored of Google' to 'bored with Google' - there's still a few of us left.

Rise of the Machines: ROBOT KILLS MAN at Volkswagen plant


A fine example of Muphry's Law in action

Inside GOV.UK: 'Chaos' and 'nightmare' as trendy Cabinet Office wrecked govt websites


Where is the graphic from?

Where is the graphic that heads this article from? I can't see anything like that on gov.uk.

I just visited the site, spurred by this article, and er, it didn't really seem too 'shiny'. Quite clear, really.

Admittedly at first sight, it seems quite useable. Obviously I'm not 'corporate' and didn't have any real business to do so it's not a thorough test.

Anyway, where is that graphic from - am I looking at the same site?

eBay planning massive job cuts following PayPal split – report


massive job cuts?

You mean Ebay actually has real employees?

Researchers: Trolls have dark tetrad of personality defects


Re: Trolling for suckers

that's trawl not troll.

fWHoaR! Researcher crack eternal mystery of what women want in a man


Where was this study done?

A speed-dating venue in Singapore. Not exactly a 'scientific' sample. A fine example of bad science, bad statisics etc.

I know Valentine's day is approaching and this kind of nonsense tends to float to the top of the journalist's pond around now, but even the researcher's called Valentine!

Come to think of it it's probably not bad science, just completely made up.

Which is much better.

Ubuntu desktop is so 2013... All hail 2014 Ubuntu mobile


Dictionary swallowed but not digested

metaphors (6) , paradigms (2) - but it seemed like more

Smart metering will disrupt weather forecasts, warns Met Office


Yes, but..

...what about the Met Office radar? Will nobody think of the Met Office radar?

White AMERICANS will have become MEKON brain-men by 3000AD


...a group of Americans...3000 AD?

I don't think so.

History suggests otherwise.

UK.gov: ICT in schools ain't dead, it's just resting


Re: "dull and demotivating",

Indeed. Aren't most school lessons dull and demotivating? When I was there, I thought that was the whole idea.

Lush website hack 'exposes credit card details'


Lush - Luxury?

Have you seen their products?

Consumer Reports: 'We were wrong about the iPhone 4'


Sticky-backed plastic!

Blue Peter could fix this, no problem.

JooJoo tablet offered to Brits



logical extension of a laptop?

Electronic Bodyguards bureau sets up shop in Switzerland


A pitch

Sounds like a pitch for a TV series.

Microsoft spits out 'browser choice' update to appease EC antitrust probe


Looks dodgy

That pop-up looks like a poorly executed rogue pop-up. No microsoft branding etc. my first reaction was - what the hell's this? malware? My first instinct was to close it and run a malware check and berate myself for visiting some dodgy website.

Then it dawned on me it was the Microsoft EU thing come to pass - but I wonder if plenty of other people had the same reaction I did. Inspired visual design I'd say

'Electronic fags' are useless - US prof's startling claim




Microsoft erases Windows 8 optimism


And now...

for something completely different!

Sony to revamp movie classics for 3D era


Not enough information, surely

I can't see there being enough information available in a 2d image to generate believable 3d consistently. Presumably relative movement of parts of the image could work in some cases, given enough computing power, (maybe NASA's got some spare time?) but I reckon the result would be even more nauseating (literally) than 'genuine' 3d.

Wales Audit Office boss sacked amidst laptop smut claims


A Bowtie

is really a cry for help.

Oz eyes Chinese cane toad market


Not evolution

I doubt that that's evolution at work, it's more likely cultural inheritance. No less impressive for that though.

Avatar kills Taiwanese man



It' s the likes of you that prevents me getting to sleep at night - tormented by the sound of exploding petrol stations.

Guinness to hit three quid a pint



wrapped with what?

Tories swallow Web 2.0, spit out £1m crowdsource prize



but thank God it's a politician proposing it, so it's fully innoculated against actually happening.

High-speed Chinese train kicks French, Japanese butt


We already did

only we had a more convenient source of labour in Ireland.

Can anyone explain the chunnel fiasco?




Google UK boss: Think of us as a newsagent



Parasite? Newsagent?? Surely they're honest-to-goodness Information Pimps, and as such perform a valuable social function.



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