Posts by Shady

Two points

1) Customers think it is outrageous that they have to pay for something?

2) If they weren't paying anything in the first place, then they weren't customers to begin with.

Sexual devices...

Surely they should be renamed the iPoke, RIMmed and Dildoid?

The man is an inspiration

To you sir, another beer salute.

@Sir Runcible Spoon - the entire world, barring perhaps one irate airline passenger, agrees. It is now a matter of public record that he endangered no-one and caused no inconvenience. To prosecute him the airline would surely have to perjur itself?

"HW manufacturer only supports Windows"

Is this news?

So a "computer expert"...

...has finally 'echoed' (or re-worded) the opinion that the readers of this rag have been spouting for the last 18 months??

FFS, we are all doomed.....

Lets face it.....

....when all the fuss dies down, it's gonna be petfood anyway.

So that'll be

400,000,000 lost and abandoned accounts where people are too bloody stupid to remember where they put that post-it note with their passwords, and 100,000,000 Very Sad People.

What this proves....

Is that a knob who has got £600 to spend on a fondle slab also has surplus money to splash out on (excuse me) solo masturbatory devices.

So in my mind at least, iPad owners are even bigger wankers than I thought they were.

Thank the Lord that England are out....

...we'd get Jordan.

How can UK.gov spend £35m on a website?

Quite easily, if the snake-oil merchants I have to work with had anything to do with it.

<- and a curry, after a hard sell.

1 billion dollah! Mwah hah hah hah!

All your base are belong to us!

One way benefits.

If the utilities employ anti-competitive measures, as suspected by many a member of the public, then after the potentially large HR cost savings (no more meter readers, call centres, far fewer technicians) our bills will..... stay the same, there will be a lot of meter readers and call centre operatives on the dole and the utilities will be posting higher dividends to their share holders, once more widening the gap between the rich and the poor.

As I pointed out in the last smart-meter related story I posted on, the consumer should have potentially fantastic benefits, at low cost of implementation, such as instant switching (from your desktop PC) of suppliers - even schedule this sort of behaviour for day / night tariffs - but we won't be allowed to do anything like that, will we?

As Martin 47 says - by far the biggest, perhaps only the sole benefit could be the ability to hack the meter.

Gawd, I'm depressed :(

"Fondle slabs"

LOL - that moniker is here to stay!

I can assure you, petal...

...that as a red-blooded male - i *do* need to look there.

Entitlement Card?

Why doesn't he become one of Labour's beloved? An umemployable thug with a drug or drink problem and a pram load of illegitimate children in tow?

Then he'd have been entitle to everything!

Do they come....

...in a moob version? I'd like some please!

So...

...in order to catch a computer virus I just have to slice my head open with a scalpel, insert a circuit, and then get sewn up, but I will still be immune to the virus because my brain doesn't run windows.

Oh, FFS, Kevin Warwick has passed the mantle - I wondered why we hadn't heard from that dipstick for a long time - he's probably crashed

Bring it on!

Curry and a pint after work, me thinks!

"Apple director of information security Rick Orloff"

my eyes were tired and it's been a long day - i started to read that line as "Apple director of intimidation....."

D'oh!

You've misspelled 'Fail'

I suppose...

...it'll be up to the little people to stand up to Murdoch then.

Thank f--k

At last, soft porn that's not been blocked by websense in our office - yet.

Gonna bookmark this page....

Sounds like...

"Any of the material we index can be found on any one of thousands of sites on the Internet so pursuit of us is a futile waste of everyones time and money"

To be read as: "Why are you pinking on us? It isn't fair! If they can do it why can't we? Why are you letting them off?"

Don't wannabe a shill for the record companies, but if you are going to index copyrighted content and make no effort to remove indexes of copyrighted material, then you are aiding and abetting. Simple as.

Besides which, I don't believe that they are purely interested in linux distros, RPM's, DEB's or whateverbuntu's. I'd warrant 95% of their indexed content is porn and copyrighted films or music.

No "Britney Spears" keywords then?

or is that meme too yesteryear?

Surely Paris should be the new Britney in current SEO techniques.

Roadtax mk2

This will pay for rural broadband in exactly the same manner that roadtax pays for the upkeep of our roads.

So...

Hardware failure is caused by hardware failure?

Reminds me of the old Mac error message - "An error occurred because an error occurred"

Extreme porn laws

By inferring that the original logo looks like an abstraction of a cartoon representation of a junior engaged in the act of fellatio, you have in fact fallen foul of the Extreme Porn Law.

Prepare for a visit from the rozzers.

Some say...

...that he has the power to pixellate himeself...

..and that he is the only person who can defeat Google.

All we know, is that he's called the Stig.

200mb between home and the nearest Virgin network centre...

...and from that point on the route will be interrupted with 10mb links, 1000ms+ latencies, and upstream will be limited to 128k.

If you're lucky.

But, but, but....

....Google would have you believe that the Nexus is at least eight times better than a Jesus Phone, so therefore, only needs to sell 1/8 as many handsets!!

Oh, bugger it, economics was never my strongest suit.

Oh FFS....

...The arrival of a bling-ed up apple product is even more predictable than my bowel movements.

Instead of reporting this, we - as reg readers - should be able to safely assume that tatty tasteless expensive shite that only appeals to rappers and other various 'talents' will be on sale approximately one week after the general release to the hoi-polloi, thus freing up your journalists to write about something proper.

And the point is....

...advertising - as always.

With the right firmware, which I am sure that Apple has already patented, all it would take is for you to inadvertantly expose your ipod touch / iphone in a public place (shopping mall for example) and it'll light up like a christmas tree with context-sensitive, location-aware offers (James blunt CD's 99p!! - just take three paces forward and turn left for your local HMV)

Alright this could be possible already, but GPS / wifi / bt receivers all drain batteries - a simple diode detector would be be far more efficient, I think

Nothing, NOTHING is funded or researched without the express long term goal of relieving us of the burden of having money.

Sorry, cynical mood today.

PS, for the photosensitive epileptics amongst you, light flashing at several hundred MHz wouldn't affect you in the slightest, most people affectedare only sensitive to around 25 Hz.

Flash should win out

Just to annoy Jobs, and for no other reason.

If Jobs loved Flash, then I'd say kill it

Could be worse...

...might be knob cheese

Paris.... too many jokes.....

Would that make her...

...a Muff Driver?

I'm still using the same PC I bought in 2000

I've avoided the need to buy a new computer by replacing the CDR with a DVDR, upgrading the HDD (twice) the gfx card (twice) and replacing the Motherboard, CPU and memory (once).

I'm thinking of getting a new case, because the original is looking a bit dented and grimy,

Cheers,

Trigger

Surely, "The book of Job"

From Wikipedia: "It relates the story of Job, his trials at the hands of the Satan, his theological discussions with friends on the origins and nature of his suffering, his challenge to God, and finally a response from God. "

in this context, Satan would be Bill Gates, and God would be Steve Wozniak?

Update

All those berks who made it to RWB, then complained it was 'wack' have their facebook profiles next to their comment - publicly exposing them for the absolute morons they are.

I recommend all those commentards should join a new facebook group called "I'm too fucking stupid to browse t'interwebs without someone with an 80+ IQ present to supervise me"

Double fails all round

Undisclosed Location?

You mean, your Mom's Basement?

(Please excuse the American accent)