* Posts by Shady

309 posts • joined 11 Apr 2008

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AES-256 keys sniffed in seconds using €200 of kit a few inches away

Shady

Genuine Question

Could this be defeated by running a randomised workload when encryption / decryption is taking place? Perhaps even perform parallel decryption / encryption using nonsense keys and nonsense data, lock-stepped to the genuine task.

Or, if the server if sufficiently shielded, would an RF white-noise generator defeat the snooping?

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PC rebooted every time user flushed the toilet

Shady

As Dump hits the Sump, Pump leaves user resting on his Rump as PC Slumps

See title

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Hacker exposed bank loophole to buy luxury cars and a face tattoo

Shady
Trollface

The Daily Mail.

Pick a day. Any day.

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Software dev bombshell: Programmers who use spaces earn MORE than those who use tabs

Shady

Maybe...

... it just takes an additional 2.4 years to type all those extra spaces.

No joke icon. Not joking. I'm a tabby.

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The Big Blue Chopper video that IBM might want to keep quiet

Shady

Re: errr

"Care to point at *any* meaningful sacrifice made by her?"

She appears to have sacrificed her reputation in pursuit of a payday.

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'My PC needs to lose weight' says user with FAT filesystem

Shady
FAIL

On a similar note....

My (non IT literate) brother was once trying to save a picture to a floppy disk on my my Amiga. "The file is too big" he complained, after dragging the picture icon over the floppy drive icon. "How big is it?" I asked. "About this big" he replied earnestly, holding his thumb and finger about an inch apart..... (sigh...)

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Faking incontinence and other ways to scare off tech support scammers

Shady

Re: easy pickings

Ha, reminds of a old website long ago where you could enter a "friends" details - whereupon they'd receive a very authentic looking email from the FBI (this was 20 odd years ago) informing them that they had been monitored viewing very illegal pornography and they would be contacted shortly....

I did this to my (normally) very jovial, ebullien, porn-loving friend whilst he was sat close by so I could monitor his reaction. He looked so close to death I never dared own up.

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IBM: Customer visit costing £75 in travel? Kill it with extreme prejudice

Shady
Stop

Re: Hmm

You don't know the meaning of the word "stingy"

Back when I were perm (Yorkshire accent required) a colleague was required to deliver and install a server from Derby to somewhere near Tyne and Wear and used his own car, looking forward to claiming his 40p / mileage allowance, thinking he was going to make a little extra beer money.

His car broke down on the way back and as he didn't have breakdown cover had to join the AA at the roadside, who couldn't get his car going so had to flatbed him home.

Upon learning this, our mutual boss decided to calculate his mileage based on the outward journey and the portion of the return journey before the breakdown occurred.

As tight as a cats arse, that one.

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User loses half of a CD-ROM in his boss's PC

Shady

Faulty drive

When I upgraded to a (very cheap, unbranded) 52x drive from a 6x drive I felt chuffed - up until the point I ejected the disc. It was still spinning at - I suspect - 52x speed. Thought it was goingto take my bloody head off, and the disc was definitely not readable after breaking against the wall.

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Boffins gently wake the Large Hadron Collider from annual hibernation

Shady

...installing a new beam dump in the Super Proton Synchrotron...

As an IT guy, I just call it "going for a download". Particle physicists have way cooler scatology.

0
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Male escort forgot pregnancy protection, scores data protection instead

Shady

Re: easy pickings

Butts are extra (sorry)

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IT contractors behind IR35 calculator to leave HMRC... because of IR35

Shady

Re: easy pickings

Because I think you'll find one or both of these reasons to be true: #1 The "mega-large-non-tax-paying consultancy" is a major donor to the Conservative party. #2 A conservative MP, peer or other party member, or a friend or relative of aforementioned MP or peer, is on the board of the "mega-large-non-tax-paying consultancy"

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Kids these days will never understand the value of money

Shady

Re: A few years back

"Realtime" via an app doesn't exist, at least for HSBC. I can't comment on other banks. I've gone cash-only since Christmas, in part because I couldn't figure out where £200 - £400 per month was going.

When making a purchase I'd check my balance - plenty of funds - make the purchase, then get a text at 6pm. Overdrawn. Check phone and anywhere from £50 - £500 in transactions have shown up.

So, transfer cash from main account to my account and everything is balanced. But then I get a text at 7am the next morning saying I'm overdrawn again. And it's not like this was caused by purchases made yesterday, some of these purchases were made a week ago!

So for me at least, realtime needs to be *actually realtime* - If I'm going to rely on my app to tell me what my available funds are, it has to be up to the second, no exceptions.

As it is, going cash-only is something I've been intending to do for some time, and I regret not doing it sooner - I give myself "walking around money" every Friday, and when it's gone, it's gone - I am disciplined enough not to draw more cash if I run out, and learnt to stretch the cash I have in my pocket, and I'm about £300 / month better off for it

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More tech companies join anti-Trump battle, but why did some pay for his inauguration?

Shady

Re: It is a muslim ban

I doubt geography is his strong point. He probably doesn't know where Indonesia is on a map, how to spell it, how to pronounce it and couldn't tell an Indonesian from a Sylvanian

4
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Why does it cost 20 times as much to protect Mark Zuckerberg as Tim Cook?

Shady

Re: Wow!

...and if you got shot, you were just dodging bullets wrong.

15
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MEEELLIONs of Brits stick with current broadband provider rather than risk no Netflix

Shady
Trollface

Re: There's also a value to keeping your email address

That you still use to login to MySpace....

0
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Shady

Re: Lack of useful customer data to blame

Are you watching via a smart TV, STB or games console? I'm with Virgin, and iPlayer does not work for me at all when watched either via Tivo or the Samsung smart telly - can't even show SD, never mind HD.- buffers and buffers and buffers until iPlayer itself says "can't play this content". Completely unwatchable. However, watching iPlayer via XBone is silky smooth and the UI extremely responsive. All the devices are connected via WiFi and are around ten feet from the Virgin Superhub which is in a different room, otherwise I'd have used wired connections. Virgin does not get off though - I think it's the shitty Superhub as even my Echo is unable to stream music without dropping out (even if only for a second or so). Many people buy a dedicated router and just use the hub in Modem mode, and I plan to buy one soon myself.

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Northumbria Uni fined £400K after boffin's bad math gives students a near-killer caffeine high

Shady
Trollface

Re: bad math

Could you have not just let the kids build a sandcastle while you donned the knotted handkerchief and settled into your deckchair with a can of Skol?

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I'LL BE BATT: Arnie Schwarzenegger snubs gas guzzlers for electric

Shady

Re: Taxed Enough Already

The point I tried to make was that the spittle-speckled right wing screamers arguing against subsidies for renewables *think* that their oil is not, and never has been, subsidised by the government when it has in fact been subsidised for decades.

The figure you quote excludes the cost of clearing up ones own shit, surely a social responsibility but one that is legally and immorally ignored and left to others. It's the cost to them that bumps up the apparent subsidy.

The USA figure was provided to show the original commentor that his country of origin was among those subsidising fossil fuels to a great degree, contrary to his belief.

I disagree with your argument that all industries benefit from fossil fuel subsidies - as an asthmatic, the NHS (and therefore, the UK taxpayer) bears the cost of the additional treatment I require to overcome the pollution I'm breathing in, and as a Cyclist, the manufacturer of my bike might sell a few more if petrol and diesel was sold at its true price even if they cost a little more to make - but this is a philosophical / economic argument beyond my ability to prove - probably one for Tim Worstall and Excel.

And finally, I'm not a swivel eyed, green leftie, I'm fairly apolitical, I drive a dirty diesel car, and I don't drive it in a fuel efficient manner because it's much more fun to drive it quickly. I turn the heating up at home and stuff the cost because I wear as few clothes as possible, even in winter (I have autism, with sensory issues), and would, if I could afford one, drive a Huracan, and my wife would like an Aston Martin - yeah, I am a hypocrite, just like every other zealot (and most non-zealots).

All I want is a clean, low pollution world, which we won't get anytime soon because of vested interests in dirty technology.

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Shady
FAIL

Re: Taxed Enough Already

Global fossil fuel subsidies were $5.3 trillion in 2015. The good ol' US of A subsidised $600 billion of that. Global renewable subsides were $88 billion in the same period.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energy_subsidies

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Now for a really cool micro-drum solo: Boffins chill gizmo below quantum limit

Shady

Cooling by Laser?

Bah! The only good laser is a laser gun. Shark mounting optional.

0
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Slim pickings by the Biggest Loser: A year of fitness wearables

Shady

Re: It thinks I've run a half-marathon every time I brush my teeth.

Or an ironman triathlon, in my case.

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Uber's self-driving cars can't handle bike lanes, forcing drivers to kill autonomous mode

Shady

Re: Copied the idiot's answers

Unless you're a Daily Mail reader

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Elon Musk wants to get into the boring business, literally

Shady

Re: Easy.

Fill the void with water - great for heat dissipation, plus, the frickin' laser beam can be mounted on sharks.

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Google Pixel pwned in 60 seconds

Shady

Should there really be a prize for hacking Flash?

I mean, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. When the barrel is actually a tin of tuna, and it's gaffer taped to the end of AK47 before letting loose.

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What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

Shady

What ?!?!?

No Avro Vulcan? I refuse to partake.

63
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Coming to an SSL library near you? AI learns how to craft crude crypto all by itself

Shady
Terminator

Fantastic

... so now they're teaching Skynet how to hide it's plans for world domination from us....

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This speech recognition code is 'just as good' as a pro transcriber

Shady

Cortana on XBone

Given the ONLY words my XB1 understands are "Hey Cortana" and then absolutely, steadfastly refuses to recognize *anything* after that (pre-cortana update had circa 2/3 success rate), I'll take this claim with a chunk of salt.

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Amazon: Students, we'll give you $2.5m for a chat-up, AI?

Shady

If I said you had some nice I/O....

Would you buffer my RAM or throw an Exception?

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Disney rollercoaster helps pop out kidney stones

Shady

Re: Horrible fascination

The one and only time I passed a stone, I blacked out before I even hit the floor. Like, lights out instant. I was only out for a few seconds and when I came to I dragged myself home (only a hundred yards away) and called 999, having convinced myself I'd been shot, despite there being no blood. I've broken every bone in my left foot, my right kneecap, my left arm (multiple fractures between elbow and wrist) and right arm (simple fracture), ripped the muscles away from my larynx, all in different accidents (I'm a bit clumsy) and was dosed up on morphine after a dalliance with diabetic ketoacidosis - none of which hurt as much as that stone. Luckily, after a few hours I was left with dull (if extremely severe) ache which ebbed away after a few days.

1
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You're guilty but broke, judge tells Wash.io – the 'Uber of laundry'

Shady

Re: I bet that the board didn't miss out.

Maybe the money has been laundered.... sorry :(

17
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Get ready for mandatory porn site age checks, Brits. You read that right

Shady

I do hope so. Otherwise I'll wear out my numeric keypad :(

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Shady

Re: Mandatory Age verification on porn sites that are not hosted in the UK?

Here be immigrants!

3
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Cats understand the laws of physics, researchers claim

Shady

Thirty cats participated in the experiment and none were harmed

But several researchers received hospital treatment for wounds inflicted by the cats for absolutely no fucking reason.

11
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Oooooklahoma! Where the cops can stop and empty your bank cards – on just a hunch

Shady
Megaphone

...yet (megaphone not needed)

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Who's to blame for the NHS drug prices ripoff?

Shady

Re: That £10 pack of polos

If making a few phone calls instead of arseing around on Facebook can save a few million quid, then it is both time and money well spent.

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UK eyes frikkin' Laser Directed Energy Weapon

Shady

Quint...

We're gonna need a bigger shark

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Troll seeks toll because iPhones work

Shady

Please!!!

... oh I do hope it turns out that Iwao Fujisaki is a shill for Samsung...

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First successful Hyperloop test module hits 100mph in four seconds

Shady

Re: Los Angeles to San Francisco route comes in at $6bn

"What happens when it fails, and passengers are trapped in a vacuum with the next car hurtling towards them at Mach 1? How long does it take to plasma cut them out?"

The passengers will BE plasma. It shouldn't be hard to extract their remains, all you'll need is a hosepipe and a bucket.

7
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Auto erotic: Self-driving cars will let occupants bonk on the go

Shady

Re: If you are required to be available to take over

@Dave 126 - they could call it the self-driving Vulva

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UK's Universal Credit IT may go downhill soon, warns think tank report

Shady

Re: We have a shitty system

That pretty much sums up every project devised by the sales "consultants" back when I was a permie

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SpaceX: We'll land on Mars in 2018 (cough, with NASA's help)

Shady

How on Earth (or Mars)...

...will they get the drone-barge there to land it on? And water for the barge to float on? Is he going to melt the ice-caps? Seriously?

Tsk, tsk, sounds like he hasn't thought this one through.

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Woz says wearables – even Apple Watch – aren't 'compelling'

Shady

Re: I'd go further than that personally

Wouldn't that be a dongle?

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TTIP: A locked room, no internet access, two hours, 300 pages and lots of typos

Shady

Re: I'm not in the EU and I'm afraid of this agreement also...

WTF are you worried for? This agreement allegedly gives corporations the power to sue foreign governments for having legislation that gets in the way of profit. Who does not believe the effect this will have is to have a ratio of a thousand US inc's suing European gov's for barring trade to each European inc suing the US of A for the same? The yanks will end up flooding Europe with chocolate manufactured from stale puke and deep frozen three headed GM chickens but any European inc that decides to take on a US trade barrier in exactly the same manner will be shot down faster than peeping-tom drone in Texas.

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Scottish MP calls for drone-busting eagles

Shady

Frickin' Laserbeams

Sharks are so yesterday, but I would pay good money to watch an Eagle take down an Army of Drones, Last Starfighter style, with a Death Blossom.

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App for homeless says walking on water is the way to reach services

Shady

No, the devs were contracted from the sub continent, the remaining 490K went in consultancy fees to the TNT (cheers for that on, Dabbsy)

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Back to the Future's DeLorean is coming back to the future

Shady

NOT cool

If you own a lovingly maintained original model, that's kinda cool. If you stump up six figures for the replica, you're just a douche

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Cyber-terror: How real is the threat? Squirrels are more of a danger

Shady

Contractors

Ah, so this is why the Chancellor wants to skim £400 million / year from contractors? To fight ISIS on Twtter? F. F. S.

1
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Apple's design 'drives up support costs, makes gadgets harder to use'

Shady

Re: But

"why is it, a 3 year old can pick up a ipad etc and just run with it, if its so hard to use?"

A 3 year old can fire a gun - but they can't shoot straight, reload or defend their playpen with it.

Also, a 3 year old mind is a lot more plastic than a 73, 53 or even a 33 year old mind.

Besides which, the typical use-case of a 3 yo with an ipad is probably a lot less complex than a Tomy toy for the same age range. For example:

Smear jam across the screen (Slide to unlock).

Jammy fingerprint upper left screen (Click Youtube)

Spittle / Jammy fingerprint right hand side (PewDiePew / Cbeebies / Whatever channel)

Bang screen repeatedly with ball of fist (Play video)

If you want to change settings, do anything substantial, it's a lot less easy.

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Get an Apple Watch or die warns Tim Cook

Shady

Perhaps his elevated heart rate was because he just twigged that his wallet was suddenly 400 sheets lighter for fuck all gain.

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