* Posts by Fatman

2066 posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

TRUMP SCANDAL! No, not that one. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one.

Fatman
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Re: HOLD IT right THEIR!!!

I thought that ElReg banned Jim The Boss!!!

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What's got a vast attack surface and runs on Linux? Windows Defender, of course

Fatman
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Re: to be authorised to roll the odd flashbang under a few particular desks..

Now, would any of them happen to belong to manglement???

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Scheming copyright scam lawyer John Steele disbarred in Illinois

Fatman
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WTF?

Steele disbarred

I have only one question:

WHAT took so fucking LONG!!!!!!

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Faking incontinence and other ways to scare off tech support scammers

Fatman
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RE: old modem

Back in the '90's my employer would be hounded by assholes trying their copier supplies scam.

I had a dial up modem attached to the pc, and wired in parallel with the 'guts' of a 1A deskset1.

One day this asshole calls up, and tries to pull his shit over on me, and I wasn't having it. I fired up the modem program and had it dial a number. As the modem started to bang out the tones, I screamed out at the top of my lungs: "God dammit Sarah, you stupid c--t! Can't you see that I am using this line!" I then hung up on the SOB.

The boss walked in, and had this puzzled look on his face, a short explanation resulted in a smirk as he walked out of my office.

1 For those who are too young to know, the 1A key systems were electro-mechanical in nature, using a 'fat' telephone cable (25 or 50 pairs), and one or two rows of line selectors ('keys')

If you want further reading:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1A2_Key_System

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Mi casa es su casa: Ubuntu bug makes 'guests' anything but

Fatman
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Re: Flaky guest account

<quote>See also https://www.ncsc.gov.uk/guidance/eud-security-guidance-ubuntu-1604-lts where they also advise that all usual user accounts should have 'other' access removes (e.g. chmod o-rx /home/*)</quote>

I can think of one reason why you would not want to do that: """shared"""1 files.

I have some 'media files' located on my home partition that I want to make available to a 'guest' user, or others who have accounts on the box.

1 In the sense that I "own" the files, and have set the 'others' permissions to 'r--' (read only). this way, valuable disk space isn't eaten up by duplicates.

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Don't gripe if you hand your PC to Geek Squad and they rat you out to the Feds – judge

Fatman
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The 'takeaway' lesson is....

1) Have your browser clear the cache on exit every time you close it, (and close it frequently), and

2) Frequently overwrite free disk space to remove any fragments of deleted files.

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Wonky whitelist update blamed for AT&T's nationwide 911 blackout

Fatman
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FAIL

Re: Troubleshooting the 911 core universal service platform backbone

<quote>Who then reported the issue to the outsourced Indian intern tech support.</quote>

There, FTFY!!!! ..

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Backup crack-up: Fasthosts locks people out of data storage for days amid WCry panic

Fatman
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FAIL

Re: ... a little planned maintenance wouldn't go amiss ...

Planned replacement of aging infrastructure???

We can't afford it! Not enough money for the executive bonus pool.

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What's your worst nightmare? A Comcast, Charter cellphone network? Oh, it's coming

Fatman
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Joke

Re: How could it possibly go wrong?

4. To kiss the ass of Government regulators.

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Windows 10 S: Good, bad, and how this could get ugly for PC makers

Fatman
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Re: MS is daft.

<quote>MS seems to have a fondness for shooting itself in the feet nuts...</quote>

FTFY!!!!

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Post Unity 8 Ubuntu shock? Relax, Linux has been here before

Fatman
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Re: Linux sucks

Hey Bob,

In a past life, were you known as Loverock Davidson???????

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Fatman
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Re: A change in focus from what THEY want to what the USERS want.

Excellent point!!

Now will someone take a 'cluebat' to the developers at Mozilla, WRT Firefox????

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Webroot antivirus goes bananas, starts trashing Windows system files

Fatman
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Linux

Re: a crowning moment of AWESOME!

You forgot the most important recommendation:

Don't use Windows, PERIOD!!!!!!!

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Northrop Grumman can make a stealth bomber – but can't protect its workers' W-2 tax forms

Fatman
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NG employee portal """hacked""".

It is for this very reason, I politely, but firmly decline to create a web portal account with my medical practitioners.

Sorry, but I do not need that info floating out there in the cloud.

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Linux 4.11 delayed for a week by NVMe glitches and 'oops fixes'

Fatman
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Re: Good lord, man, testing software?

<quote>What's wrong with just throwing it out there and letting the punters find the bugs, like everyone else seems to?</quote>

Do you mean the Microsoft way of writing code???

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Script kiddies pwn 1000s of Windows boxes using leaked NSA hack tools

Fatman
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Joke

RE: Then where are you?

Simples: UP SHIT CREEK, WITHOUT A PADDLE!

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You just sent an on-prem app to the cloud and your data centre has empty racks. What now?

Fatman
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Re: 'something less obvious than "8-ft Pool Table"'

Nice first attempt, but you have failed to list some optional equipment. Such as:

Pressurized (alcoholic) beverage dispenser (beer keg),

Horizontal beverage support counter (bar),

Nourishment container (bowl for peanuts),

Employee seating (bar stool),

Deluxe 'Power Point' display panel (flat screen TV),

Sound system, (jukebox),

Mood inducing lighting (strobe lights),

PHB attitude adjuster (baseball, cluebat, etc),

"""Candy""" (recreational drugs and pharmaceuticals),

Sporting equipment intended to """sharpen""" focus on achieving corporate goals (dart board with plenty of darts, and life size photos of obnoxious PHB's).

Combine these to create a 'desirable' work experience.

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Why Firefox? Because not everybody is a web designer, silly

Fatman
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Re: I recently ditched Firefox.

<snip>it is the work of the devil - </snip>

Check out the name of the developer of PulseAudio and Systemd:

PulseAudio: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PulseAudio

Systemd: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systemd

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Mozilla abandons experimental Aurora Firefox channel

Fatman
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Six week release cycles...

I have never understood the driving force behind such a tight release schedule; nor the whole number version bumps that accompany it. IMHO it must have come from some marketing weasel that felt that Firefox is 'old' if it did not bump its version number every time a new release is shit out. You know - mimic Chrome.

What else is pointless is the useless UI changes that get made (again, IMHO `marketing weasel` inspired) that show up; while long standing bugs get ignored.

I have said this before:

`Mozilla fix your goddamn code first, then worry about the fucking UI.`

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Leaked NSA point-and-pwn hack tools menace Win2k to Windows 8

Fatman
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Re: """conversations with each vendor."""

Such conversation might consist of:

vendor: <quote>"OK NSA, we know you've exploited THESE vulnerabilities, but what else are you not telling us?"</quote>

NSA: "Sorry, but that information is classified!"

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Big Internet warns FCC's Pai: We will fight you all the way on net neutrality

Fatman
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Re: Actually it looks like getting them to pass any kind of legislation is a mammoth task

<quote>Because hey everyone wants a hand out suitcase full of cash campaign contributions for their cooperation.</quote>

FTFY!!!

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BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

Fatman
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Re: Having a computer log of who is in the building

<quote>Bosses card always 5 mins late entering the building overly long lunches and leaves 5 minutes early every day.</quote>

Not quite right

Bosses card log him entering the building, and the script erases that entry 5 minutes later, and does the same when he exits; so his attendance is essentially unprovable. Higher ups fire said boss for absenteeism. """The computer doesn't LIE!!!"""

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As Trump signs away Americans' digital privacy, it's time to bring out the BS detector

Fatman
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Re: The one way this will be stopped quick smart...

<quote>"Someone needs to fork Wikileaks..."

Spelling!</quote>

NOPE!!!!

Grammar!: Someone used the wrong verb.

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Boeing details 'Deep Space Gateway' for Mars mission staging

Fatman
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RE: Boeing: SEND MORE MONEY NOW STOP

<quote>Boeing: executive bonus pool corporate pork barrel is depleted SEND MORE MONEY NOW STOP</quote>

FTFY

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FTC accuses man of faking its news to further tech support scam

Fatman
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Suitable punishment...

Chase this asshole into the Everglades, and let the gators have at it.

This being mating season, and after some 'thrashing and splashing' in the swamp they get hungry.

Snacktime!!!!!!!!

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Microsoft Friday false positive: Bluber-A ballsup makes sysadmins blub

Fatman
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Re: What was in that first post?

Probably some derogatory reference to the "High Priest of Microsoft" - Steve Ballmer, if I were to hazard a guess.

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Ubuntu 17.04 beta FACT: It's what's on the inside that matters, not looks

Fatman
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Linux 'babies'??

Hey Loverock, go back under your rock!!!!!

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US cops, firefighters to get new emergency wireless network – AT&T to get $6.5bn

Fatman
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Re: grab the government by the balls just slip right by.

Don't you worry, they will have all of that in the contracts.

I would suspect that this contract covers the basic infrastructure buildout, and operation.

Outlier construction costs, and additional features are extra.

If one thing the telcos learned well is the art of nickling and diming their customers to death. Hey Verizon, I am looking at you! A T Mobile commercial that 'nails you':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23ZRWypu6lI

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Nuns left in limbo after phone line transfer hell

Fatman
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"Catholic" upbringing

I had the unfortunate pleasure of a Catholic Grammar School Education.

Complete with `Sister Mary Alice discipline' administered by a steel drafting triangle.

My knuckles still ache to this day (some 55 years later). I would hope that the proper punishment for those incompetents at Eircom be subjected to DAILY finger racking by each of the nuns living there.

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Metasploit upgraded to sniff out IoT weakspots in corporate networks

Fatman
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"""Pen Testing"""

<quote>Funny, when I do pen testing, I usually just scribble it on a piece of paper to see if the ink runs :-)</quote>

Followed up by a lob into the wastebasket if they fail.

$DEITY knows how many biros I have tossed out.

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Hardware 'dislodged' from HPE SAN during cable replacement

Fatman
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Abstraction Layers

<quote>It put an abstraction layer between management and technology so they (management) can distance themselves from technical faults their stupid decisions.</quote>

FTFY

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Samsung's Bixby totally isn't a Siri ripoff because look – it'll go in phones, TVs, fridges, air con...

Fatman
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Re: Not on any

<quote>Yes and I am unable to connect to the DRM server to validate your account, so this door aint opening and it's dry cornflakes for you.</quote>

FTFY

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Outgoing HPE workers stripped of gym cards and cushy remnants

Fatman
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RE: Senior Management Kick-Boxing

<quote>... (or should that be Kick Boxing the Senior Management in the nuts?)</quote>

FTFY??

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Sage loses 'trail-blazing' executive after less than six months

Fatman
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'Revolving Door' Executive

We have another entrant in the Revolving Door Executive Sweepstakes, considering her short tenure.

Any one care to speculate on the real reason for the departure???

In terms of tenure in position, this Revolving Door Executive's very short tenure will probably stand as one of the shortest:

http://grist.org/news-2/duke-ceo-bill-johnson-resigns-after-one-day-gets-44-million-in-severance/

At least he can not bitch about the size of his Golden Parachute!!!!!

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Today's WWW is built on pillars of sand: Buggy, exploitable JavaScript libs are everywhere

Fatman
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'Manglement fail'

I am sorry Mr Mangler, but seems that you fail to have an effective understanding of the risks that your proposed actions may have on the company.

It would be in the best interests of the company for us to assist you in finding new career opportunities elsewhere. Like our competitors.

That assistance begins with the door hitting you in the ass as you exit the company. You have five minutes to collect your personal effects and vacate the premises.

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Smut-scamming copyright chaser 'fesses up, will do hard time

Fatman
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Prenda <s>lawyer</s> <i>pond scum</i> pleads...

About fucking time!!!!

Weld the fucking door shut!

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User rats out IT team for playing games at work, gets them all fired

Fatman
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Re: You can't just fire people like that.

I have a friend who works for such a company.

Back in 2010, a 'parasite' found itself on the company's BoD, and in a few short months, drove out the other directors, who were replaced by other 'parasites'.

In September, they arranged to 'force out' the entire executive team that ran the company profitably, and install more parasites in their regional offices.

In September 2011, they had their tickets to the Gravy Train Express1 renewed, riding that train for another year. Repeat in 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015. All during the while the company was slowly losing money. They hid their losses by mortgaging the company's future receipts (i.e. loaded up on debt), turning an original 96% shareholder equity/4% debt ratio around (4% equity/96% debt). In early 2016, the stockholders pawned off the company in a quiet 'fire sale', because the buyers wanted time to root out the cause of the losses. The new owners contacted the legal firms handling their affairs in each of the more than 50 cities they did business in, and arranged to 'loop in' one key assistant in each regional office to perform much of the 'leg work'. My friend who was an assistant regional COO was contacted, and agreed to assist in ridding the company of the 'parasites'. My friend had to keep knowledge of the ownership change, and their plans to rid the company of the 'parasites' quiet for nearly 6 months all the while doing the necessary digging.

The new owners waited until September 30, 2016 (the last day of the contract) to deliver the bad news. It was delivered by employees of the company appearing at the executives' company housing at 8 AM with moving vans. They carried a message from the owners that said: "YOUR CONTRACT WILL NOT BE RENEWED, and we do not need your services any more. You have 4 hours to get out of company housing."

It was no secret to the office staff that the executives were Milking The Cow, and, some wag decided that a perfect metaphor for the events of September 30, 2016 could be expressed by a drawing of a cow leaving behind a pile of tape worm infested shit. Within an hour or so of its first appearance, that cartoon was scanned and emailed to every other regional office. It was a morale booster.

They are still attempting to determine exactly how bad the losses were, as the executive fools compromised the books, and getting an accurate picture just might involve reviewing all transactions since October 2010. <sarcasm>I know that the office staff would shed loads of crocodile tears should the company bring charges against the executives.</sarcasm>

1 The derogatory term used by the office employees to describe the compensation package, perks and benefits these executives enjoyed. Work from home, company car for both business and personal use, company credit cards often used for personal items, no limit on vacation time, FREE company housing.

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In a loving tribute to its fiery washing machines and Note 7... Samsung management explodes

Fatman
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Re: Samsung's next venture

<quote>is into building nuclear reactors.</quote>

They might want to ask Toshiba about that one.

See below:

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/14/toshiba_chairman_resigns_6bn_loss/

and

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/01/03/toshiba_facing_nuke_power_goodwill_cost_meltdown/

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GoDaddy CEO says US is 'tech illiterate' (so, yeah, don't shut off that cheap H-1B supply)

Fatman
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RE: @_yank_lurker

<quote>@thomn8r - Short answer - no. The real answer is about PHBs looking at the wages on their Excel spreadsheet size of their BONUS check and trying to reduce them increase it.</quote>

There!!!

FTFY

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Gulp! Drones dodge spray from California's gaping moist glory hole

Fatman
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"Glory Hole", and the best use for it....

Would be to suck down a shitload of politicians, followed up by lawyers and then finally PHB's.

As for politicians, we here in Merica can nominate any of 537 that come off the top of my head. From what I read of the attitude over on your side of the pond, there is considerable sentiment for sending someone named 'May' down it.

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US Homeland Security is so secure even its own staff can't log in

Fatman
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RE: I'm sure Drumpf will blame the left wing media for this.

Reports like this will be branded as:

<blink>FAKE NEWS!!!!!!</blink>

It's a shame that ElReg does not support the <blink> tag!

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Why I had to sue the FCC – VoIP granddaddy Dan Berninger

Fatman
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Re: less gummint regulation is nearly always a good thing

<quote>Even democracy can be corrupted by conning an unknowledgeable electorate.</quote>

So that's YOUR explanation of last November's election results?

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'I'm innocent!' says IT contractor on trial after Office 365 bill row spiraled out of control

Fatman
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Re: Unique on the Planet

<quote>t is a highly politicized office and is populated with hacks, morons, corrupt incompetents, media whores1, and criminals in their own right.</quote>

There!!!, FTFY

1 Edited to include such types as Joe Arpaio (formerly sheriff of Maricopa County Arizona), and a more closer to home one, (Grady Judd of Polk County Florida who just loves to tout his department's successes on local TV).

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Toshiba chairman quits over $6bn nuclear loss

Fatman
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Time for some <sarcasm>traditional</sarcasm> Japanese 'restoration of honor' at Westinghouse

Before he steps down as Chair, Shigenori Shiga should pay the US headquarters of Westinghouse a visit, bring his katana along with him.

Call in the executives involved and remind them of how the Japanese atone1 for bringing shame to one's self, family or company. And have a carpet cleaning crew at hand to clean up the bloody mess.

1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seppuku

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Crack in black: Matte iPhones losing paint at alarming rate, gripe fans

Fatman
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Re: I wonder what happens to anyone who stops the line at Foxconn?

They are taken out to the Great Wall of China, and shot.

</snark>

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Senator wants a piece of Pai: FCC boss blasted for ripping up schools, libraries internet report

Fatman
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Re: you must know the drill by now . . .

<quote>The dumbing down of America is well underway. Have look at Common Curriculum in the schools for an example. The result is people who want pap of which reality tv is a good example. Documentaries? Nope. Anything that might be science? Nope.

The powers that be want a managed population.</quote>

1) to re-introduce serfdom anyway possible,

2) to turn out 'worker bees' with the most minimal skills possible, while funneling the education money into Charter Schools, or to make gaining the requisite education so damn expensive, the college graduate is 6 figures in debt on the they day they graduate,

3) plenty of cheap prison labor, because they fear the browning of America, and the best way to keep the browns from voting is to deport them or lock them up, and

4) to insure that the children of good Christian families1 get all of the breaks, and every one else gets the shaft.

1 Read as White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Catholics and Jews need not apply.

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Comcast lied and now it must STFU: Its cable broadband is not 'the fastest' in the US

Fatman
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Re: Bah!

<quote>The correct term as used by real news outlets such as the Republican Party Mouthpiece, Fox News and the White House Press Office is "alternate facting Comcast".</quote>

FTFY!!!

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Comcast staffers join walkout over Trump's immigration crackdown

Fatman
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Re: How about a SHAREHOLDER protest - sell sell sell.

In most cases, shareholders of publicly traded companies are free to DUMP the shares of any such company whenever they choose. It is all a matter of whether or not you will get what you want for the stock.

Thus, if you are not happy with the way a company is run/its social mores/CEO and other executive bonus arrangements, you are free to divest yourself of them.

Most C-suites in publicly traded companies never want ot see their stock price free fall, and a massive dumping of stock by disgruntled shareholders would tend to imply dissatisfaction on the part of the shareholders.

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Fatman
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re: ...protests are starting to turn violent....

<quote>Their protests are starting to turn violent, and their rhetoric has turned to the extremes. </quote>

Dear Big John,

These 'targeted disruptions' may be the result of FBI dirty tricks.

It isn't the first time the FBI has stepped into that cesspool:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COINTELPRO

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Linus Torvalds says Linux 4.10 just 'blew up' as rc6 bloats

Fatman
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Joke

RE: How cute, they still use a mailing list!

And I bet you think that the devs write kernel code in something cute, like Visual Basic?

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