* Posts by Fatman

2263 posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

Lawyers' secure email network goes down, firm says it'll take 2 weeks to restore

Fatman Silver badge

RE: Remind me why we got rid of those nasty fax machines, clerk?

Because the beancounters said it would cut costs!!!

Oracle boss's Brexit Britain trip shutdown due to US government shutdown

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Re: Just deserts... I hope he got a TSA "audit" too!

I bet there are many at HP who would like to see the TSA effectively Roto-Rooter his ass.

While Windows 7 wobbled, AI continued its relentless march at Microsoft

Fatman Silver badge

Re: Azure not Linux

Allow me to correct you:

<quote>Win10 is just a conduit to allow this to happen ad slinging malware masquerading as an operating system.</quote>

FTFY

Hubble 'scope camera breaks down amid US govt shutdown, forcing boffins to fix it for free

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Re: "trump is a bullshit artist"

God's honest truth!!!!

I upvoted you for that!

FCC tosses aside rules, treats Google to a happy ending following request for handy tech

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RE: Commercial monopoly

Considering that amount of cheaply1 produced tat flowing out of the Far East, is it a bad idea to allow only higher power levels for products that are certified to comply with the regs?

Cut too many corners, and that waiver can be revoked.

1 As in poorly engineered or manufactured. Current security of IoT tat is a prime example of this shove it out the door quickly and cheaply mentality.

Staff sacked after security sees 'suspect surfer' script of shame

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Happy

Re: In education

<quote>The reason that one truly is forbidden, is because it let's us know the real truth about managers (who have their sense of humour surgically removed when they sign the contract to become manager).</quote>

The contractual lobotomy, the prime reason why I turned down a promotion to manglement.

Anyway, it is more """fun""" to take cheap shots at them, rather than having ones taken at you.

NASA names the date for the first commercial crew demo flight

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Re: Prediction

<quote>CIMON is going to be "broken" soon. Very soon.</quote>

Or blown out of an airlock!

China on its way to becoming the first nation to land on the far side of the Moon

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'orange Klown' reference

I had to award one upvote for the reference.

FCC slammed for 'arbitrary and reckless' plan to change how text messages are regulated

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WTF?

Re: comforting innit.

<quote>We should all hope the cash spigot is left wide open through lack of regulation so executive bonuses can trickle down.</quote>

Trickle down, MY ASS!!!

Do you honestly think the executives are going to share those bonuses???

There will be a giant sink stopper at the drain of the executive level preventing any such "trickle down".

From Motown to lockdown: Detroit bathroom bung IT exec gets one year in the clink

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Re: +1 is never enough for an ED-209 comment.

I gave him one, because I too appreciated the reference.

Microsoft reveals terrible trio of bugs that knocked out Azure, Office 362.5 multi-factor auth logins for 14 hours

Fatman Silver badge
WTF?

Re: The beginning of the end...

<quote>...goodbye MS, you’ve shot yourselves in your feet nuts. Muppets.</quote>

FTFY!!!

OpenStack 2018: Mark Shuttleworth chats to The Reg about 10-year support plans, Linus Torvalds and Russian rockets

Fatman Silver badge

Considering Ubuntu

<quote>I'll consider Ubuntu when they ship with a Qt based DE as standard...and got rid of systemD.</quote>

FTFY!

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

Fatman Silver badge

RE: And how do you KEEP it that way? ...

<quote>And how do you KEEP it that way? Especially against both clandestine bridging and PHBs who don't know better?</quote>

Simple,

"Man Overboard!!!!"

Uncle Sam, D-Link told to battle in court over claims of shoddy device security: Judge snubs summary judgment bids

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Joke

RE: now bend over and accept judgement !

YFTL:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdFLPn30dvQ

Heart Internet stops beating, starts Monday with big portion of FAIL

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Re: Maybe

Your suggestion is somewhat incomplete. Here is a more complete version:

<quote>They need a 5Kg percussive maintenance application directed at the PHB's balls.</quote>

We (may) now know the real reason for that IBM takeover. A distraction for Red Hat to axe KDE

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FAIL

Re: Arggh no.

<quote>Don't tell me, Lennart Poeterring is involved with Wayland?</quote>

$DEITY, I hope not!!!!

£220k fines for dodgy dialling duo who didn't do due dil on data

Fatman Silver badge

Re: Mass Dialers

In the USofA, many local school districts use them to inform parents of events at their kids local school.

Have you ever, ever felt like this? Have strange things happened? Is high-speed data going round the twist?

Fatman Silver badge

Re: Is it someones job at El Reg just to work on punny headlines?

Sometimes it is so bad, you can almost "see" the sarcasm expressed.

But, then again, I am a sarcastic son of a bitch.

PC version of Linux 4.19 lands with PC version of Linus Torvalds: Kernel handed back to creator

Fatman Silver badge

Management """Tools"""

<quote>And you tell me just what management tools he has at his disposal.</quote>

IF it is like a former mangler I had to endure, those tools are:

1) a big mouth, and

2) steel toed work boots.

If the use of tool #1 doesn't achieve the desired result, then judicious use of tool #2 to your ass usually does.

Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

Fatman Silver badge
Linux

Re: Deinstall Win 10?

<quote>Microsoft has announced that its customers will finally be able to remove more of the cruft that arrives with a Windows 10 installation. In 2019.

I'd rather be able to remove the entire OS - i.e. all of the cruft.</quote>

It is simple, just get a Linux Live CD.

Well slap my ass and call me Judy, Microsoft's Surface Pro 6 is just as hard to fix as the old one

Fatman Silver badge

Non repaiable surface..

Microsoft took a page from Apple's playbook.

https://www.bitchute.com/video/3yr4KaU6-PE/

HP dangles subscription hardware at power users

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RE: leasing hardware

Some one else who gets it.

Fatman Silver badge

Re: Does not take long to buy the hardware ...

<quote> Does not take long to buy the hardware ... at $156/month.</quote>

You are right, it doesn't.

But.....

In the USofA, no thanks to the Tax Laws, you run into the old debate - CAPEX vs OPEX.

Buy it outright for (let's use a round figure of) $3700. That's $3700 straight out of your pocket (and possibly out of current profits), and you have to depreciate it over its expected lifespan. Assume a residual value of $100 at the end of a 36 month lifespan; you get to 'write down' the value by $100/monthly. Again, assume that you bought it in early January, and your first year writedown is only $1200. You have to carry the remaining $2400 as an asset, and can not depreciate it until year 2 and 3 before it no longer benefits from a depreciation schedule. If that $2400 came from profits, then guess what - you pay taxes on it! Only in year 2 and 3 do you get the benefit of the previous expenditure. That depreciation goes against profits from year 2 and 3.

Contrast that to a lease - leases and a straight expense, written off as a business expense as they are incurred. No taxes paid on those writeoffs.

Now you have some inkling as to why beancounters want to shift as much CAPEX into OPEX as they can get away with.

Mobe networks battle to bring comms back after Hurricane Michael smashes US Gulf Coast

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"""Spending Money"""

<quote>Plus, the beancounters prefer spending money on fixing tomorrow than on digging today because digging is more expensive in the short run and nobody knows what the long run is anymore.</quote>

Today's MBA induced mentality is to always think in short term objectives (e.g. next quarter), you will not be around to reap the rewards of any long term thinking, as it is likely you will be gone in 5 years.

Second, there is that good old debate over CAPEX vs OPEX.

It's the real Heart Bleed: Medtronic locks out vulnerable pacemaker programmer kit

Fatman Silver badge

Re: Humanity is doomed

<quote>We need a purge of these loons, hunt them down ruthlessly, lock them up for good put a bullet into the back of their head.</quote>

There!!!

FTFY!!

Microsoft Windows 10 October update giving HP users BSOD

Fatman Silver badge
FAIL

Re: The above is all well and good if you're running a business

Not all businesses have on staff IT people; and are reluctant to spend the money to have updates applied. So it becomes a case of fucked if you do, or pwned if you don't.

Convenient switch hides an inconvenient truth

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RE: Um - 1900 was a Leap Year (it's divisible by 4 but not by 400).

In a word - NO, it was not.

<quote>Um - 1900 was a Leap Year (it's divisible by 4 but not by 400).</quote>

<source>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_year</source>

Screwed SAP salesman scores $660,000 jury award

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Re: Damn, I thought IBM had the title of the worst company ever.

<quote>...but it used to be a pretty decent company and it is nowhere near up to the standards held aloft shat upon by Oracle, SAP et al.</quote>

FTFY!!!

Rookie almost wipes customer's entire inventory – unbeknownst to sysadmin

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FAIL

Re: New contractor

<quote>Ahh, a "pink slip" then.</quote>

Also known as walking papers.

Send up a satellite to zap space junk if you want Earth's orbit to be clean, say boffins

Fatman Silver badge

Orbital cleaning

Here, I thought that has already been done (so to speak):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTSWdHY9Ny4

'This is insane!' FCC commissioner tears into colleagues over failure to stop robocalls

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Re: Poor FCC Commisioner Rosenworcel. She will now be inundated and the carriers will laugh.

<quote>I'm not sure if this is still the case, but in the US aren't mobiles charged for receiving calls as well as making them?</quote>

One word answer - YES!

And $DEITY help you if you are on a plan that provides X minutes per month because you do not need an """unlimited""" plan. Overages are a BITCH!

Pain spotting: Russia's Aeroflot Docker server lands internal source code, config files on public internet

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FAIL

Re: Shock

Aren't most websites are created in this manner???

Office 2019 lumbers to the stage once more as Microsoft promises future releases

Fatman Silver badge

Re: Commitment

<quote>Office 365? Office 3.65 0.365, more like...</quote>

FTFY!!!

Dead retailer's 'customer data' turns up on seized kit, unencrypted and very much for sale

Fatman Silver badge

Re: QED

<quote>Disk shredders are so much fun :)</quote>

Enjoy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQYPCPB1g3o

Ubuntu flings 14.04 LTS users a security lifeline, chats some more about Hyper-V

Fatman Silver badge

Re: I'm still running 14.04 on my laptop

<quote>Over the 8 years I have had complete hell of updates and failures on some other Windows machines I unfortunately took responsibility for...</quote>

You should never take responsibility for any Windows machines, because you do not """own""" the operating system. Microsoft does. You only get to use it as Microsoft sees fit.

And Microsoft does not give a shit if you encounter 'problems'.

Amazon probes alleged bribery of staffers for data on e-tail platform

Fatman Silver badge
Stop

"Reviews" on e commerce sites

A simple rule to follow:

Never believe that the review posted is both fair and accurate, and always assume it is a paid placement.

You can not go wrong if you follow that example.

New MeX-Files: The curious case of an evacuated US solar lab, the FBI – and bananas conspiracy theories

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Joke

You left out a few words...

<quote>They will be closed until the scientists support the theory that the sun shines out of the US President's ass.</quote>

There!!!

FTFY

You'll never guess what you can do once you steal a laptop, reflash the BIOS, and reboot it

Fatman Silver badge
Linux

Re: Again.. How many people turn their machine off?

At my former employer - it was mandated that desktop machines be shut down at the end of the day.

If it isn't powered up, then it can not be pwned during the overnight/weekend hours.

This policy arose from an incident where an executive left his machine on, and it was infected with malware. Those behind the attack had the whole weekend to surf out or internal network. Cleaning up the mess was one of the reasons why we ditched Windows, and went to Linux. The other being a nastygram from the BSA that was quite costly.

Former Detroit IT boss sent down 20 months for bathroom bung bonanza

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Re: Take him to ... Detroit!

And put him to work cleaning up the city, literally.

Detroit is loaded with abandoned buildings that are falling apart, so really make him pay "his debt to society" in the form of manual labor.

Xero needs a hero as business accounting site takes morning off

Fatman Silver badge

"Cloud"

I point to incidents like this one as reasons why you should not go to the cloud.

But penny pinching manglers never learn.

One mangler I once worked for bought that hype, hook line and sinker. So that company went off to the cloud against my advice. Cue one cloud failure, and people were sitting there unable to do their jobs, and said mangler starts screaming: "Do something!!!!!" I did. I handed him my letter of immediate resignation, packed up and walked out. A few days later he calls me up sheepishly wanting to know if I would 'come back'.

The answer was a terse: "FUCK YOU!!!" and I hung up. 'Fix it your own goddam self' was my attitude.

Look at me! Phone industry contracts nasty case of 5g-itis

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WTF?

Re: And what is 5G?

Whatever the Marketing turds make it out to be.

British Airways hack: Infosec experts finger third-party scripts on payment pages

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Happy

Re: We do the same thing

<quote>I just make sure I have paper copies of the emails bringing up these issues. I will eventually need them!!</quote>

Keep that CYAWP file up to date. You never know when you will need it; to send a clueless mangler packing, hopefully without severance pay.

A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

Fatman Silver badge
WTF?

RE: Control freak boss....

<quote>On one occasion he went to sail his yacht around the Caribbean leaving us unpaid for several weeks after the date we were supposed to be.</quote>

His first name would not happen to be Larry???

$200bn? Make that $467bn: Trump threatens to balloon proposed bonus China tech tariffs

Fatman Silver badge

RE: What we are looking at is America in an irreversible decline.

No, we are looking at Making America GRATE Again

</sarcasm>

It looks like tech-savvy drivers will have to lead connected car data purge

Fatman Silver badge

Re: My solution.

<quote>what's the point of having something in a motor vehicle offering so many threat vectors</quote>

To meet the demands of Marketing.

Windows Server 2019 Essentials incoming – but cheapo product's days are numbered

Fatman Silver badge

Re: anywhere the wind blows

You forgot something!

It is your <sarcasm> tag.

Is someone chopping onions? Oracle cloud boss bids colleagues emotional farewell

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RE: Oracle exec "taking time off"

<quote>It's also possible that he's fighting a very private health battle with an uncertain foreboding prognosis.</quote>

He might be facing a situation where he has been told that you have X amount of time left; and he plans to step aside to enable his team to continue forward, and he can make the best of the time left.

In any regard, I hope I am wrong on that one.

Go Pester someone else: TSB ditches CEO over bank's IT meltdown

Fatman Silver badge

RE: Cue angry phone call to support:

<quote>DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM ?!??

Oh yesFucking right, we do.</quote>

FTFY

Fatman Silver badge

Re: still expected to take away about £1.7m

<quote>Go a bit harsher... his payouts will be into a TSB account.</quote>

And, for added (pleasure) discomfort, those accounts will experience random periods of 'unavailability'.

Trainer regrets giving straight answer to staffer's odd question

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Re: New depths

<quote>They were salespeople weasels.</quote>

FTFY

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