* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1728 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

Techie's test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site

Boris the Cockroach
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I wonder

if the downtime was any longer that el-reg would have set the BOFH on 'victor'

Lift shaft accident or fell out of the window...... the world must know

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Windows 10 Linux Distribution Overload? We have just the thing

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: I have a big question

Why 2 thumbs down?

Dont tell me the only 2 people who like the win10 gui are on this website.......

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Boris the Cockroach
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Linux

I have a big question

Can the linux subsystems run their own desktops? thus replacing the abomination that is the current win10 gui

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What happens to your online accounts when you die?

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Huh?? (Off Topic)

Quote

Life is shit.

Its when you get a message from the states that a friend has passed away, and he was 9 months older than me that the above phrase hits home.

I still have all the chats we had regarding life, the universe and everything stored away, even asked his widow if she wanted them.

She had to do the 'jump through 7 hoops of hell' thing because he'd only made a will leaving everything to her and had the no idea about all the digital stuff left behind, because at 52, you dont plan for that sort of thing, unless you have to.

Hence my will also has a copy of my FB and steam passwords stored in it (updated at 3 month intervals)

And as for the banks et al wanting 17 copies of death certificates and probate certificates.... yes they do and they do run a post deaths service

"Hi my mother has died, can I have access to her accounts?"

"we need death and probate certificates..... hmmm its odd.... your father died recently too...before probate completed transferring his assets to your mother... we're not going to do a thing until we see legal copies of everything ... and even then we're gonna drag everything out for nine months just to add further suffering and heartache"

"You heartless bastards. we're setting the family lawyer on you... good luck in your next job"

(this above conversation is a seriously abridged version of what happened when ma and pa died within 4 months of each other)

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ZX Spectrum reboot scandal biz gets £35k legal costs delayed

Boris the Cockroach
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Horace goes to Epping forest

with some dodgy characters

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Wasted worker wasps wanna know – oi! – who are you looking at?

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Wasps, must die

Awww poor waspies what have they ever done to you apart from be annoying stripey bastards who want your beer.

Tri-Chloro-ethane... thats the stuff for wasps..... one squirt and wasp go arrrghhhh <thud> ..... trouble is.. too much and the human goes arrgh <thud> too

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You won't believe this but... everyone hates their cable company: Bombshell study lands

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Well, I...

Damn canadians..... next you'll be listing how much coverage the health care system there gives... :)

<<Stuck with vermin media, but at least its cheaper than the US cable companies

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Creased Lightning: Profits wobble at Virgin Media while fibre project stays sluggish

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

Vermin media

.... if only they offered the new customer deals to THOSE OF US STUCK WITH VERMIN MEDIA.....

I'm only with them because of the fibre broadband...... that NyNex built , went bust, sold to NTL, merged with telewest, branded by Vergin and bought out by liberty.

At least thats what was that was the company names painted out on the guy's overall when he came to fix my phone............ which worked for 10 days before goign 'phhtt' again.....

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UK.gov to tech industry: Hands up who can help cut teachers' admin

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Its a bit rich

complaining about teacher's admin loads when its the fucking politicians who demand that admin load in the first place

Anyway.. makes no difference.

The contract will goto crapita, an MP will get a directorship, the product will be late and at 3 times the bid price and still wont work adding more shite to the teacher's workload to cope with

In fact if we follow the projected graph of adminwork vs teaching for teachers , in about 15 years time , teacher will only be filling out forms and doing admin work

While min wage classroom assistants try to entertain 40 bored 10 yr olds......

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Greybeard greebos do runner from care home to attend world's largest heavy metal fest Wacken

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Re: "Dazed and confused", surely?

Maybe they were hoping Sabbath were on, children of the grave and all that

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Oi, clickbait cop bot, jam this in your neural net: Hot new AI threatens to DESTROY web journos

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Free of news content

You can do that with politician's speeches too

Every time the mouth moves up and down you can ignore the sound coming out as it has nothing to do with what the politicians actually does

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Amazon meets the incredible SHRINKING UK taxman

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Just remember

Amazon dont pay VAT... they collect it from sales and pass it along to custom and excise

Amazon dont pay income tax.. that deducted from employee pay by amazon under the PAYE scheme, then passed along to the inland scu err revenue

Just try not doing the above 2 things when you're an employer and see what happens......

hello auditors.... and court cases .. and baliffs... and no business.

Unless you're a multi-nationational who can do a deal with inland revenue like google did and only pay a % of money owing...

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Boris the Cockroach
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Just remember

For every pound successfully avoided by Amazon et al, YOUR tax rate has to go up to cover the loss in income.

This is great reality for today, that as corporate tax income has declined thanks to the clever avoiding devices , then personal taxation has had to go up to cover this.

But in the end, Amazon are using our roads, and facilities built with taxpayers money for their own enrichment without paying for it.

And whats worse... a small company like the one I work at cannot avoid the tax as its based in the UK not luxemburg/wherever it could get a sweetheart tax deal.

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Get drinking! Abstinence just as bad for you as getting bladdered

Boris the Cockroach
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Pint

The most important

thing to remember is that even if you follow all the health advice, eat well, drink moderately, do exercise etc etc etc you can still end up in a cardiac ward with the doc waving the angiogram pictures in your face going 'I cant believe you're still alive'

And in most cases of what I had.. you wont be alive....

Oh and good luck to the poster with the LVAD

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Brit comms providers told: You must tell people when their cheap contract's about to end

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

I'd be happy

with making companies like vermin media and bt openretch offer the same sort of deals to long term customers as they do to new ones.

vermin are currently offering my deal (tv/bb/phone) for 30 quid a month while I'm stuck at 60

(and dont ask about switching.... openretch around here is shite )

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UK 'fake news' inquiry calls for end to tech middleman excuses, election law overhaul

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Why are people getting their news from from Social Media?

Quote :

Because it tells them the "news" they want to hear.

Unlike the mail and express and torygraph which tell people the news the tories want them to know (and a dose of 2 minute "hate the socialist" too )

And then news like "Charline married Damien in eastenderstreet last night " along with "Chelsea beat Liverpool" will keep about 60% of the population happy.....

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Ecuador's Prez talking to UK about Assange's six-year London Embassy stay – reports

Boris the Cockroach
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Is that the one where the preditors need a human host to grow aliens to hunt?

Seriously though, the guy cost his supporters a f.ton of money(about a million wasn't it?) when he skipped bail.

Throw him in jail for 12 months for skipping bail, then ask the Swedes if they want him, if not, deport him back to Australia....

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Windows 10 Insiders see double as new builds hit the deck – with promises to end Update Rage

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Whats wrong with

"Your windows PC needs updating.

please schedule a day and time within the next 7 days to download and update your PC

<open time and day manager window>

Failure to select a time and day will result in windows downloading and updating now."

Or is this far too complicated for the big brains at m$?

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I predict a riot: Amazon UK chief foresees 'civil unrest' for no-deal Brexit

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

As previously

noted when Airbus went "whaa whaa whaa " about closing down the wing making operation in North Wales, this is more about Amazon protecting its profits than caring if brexit happens , doesn't happen, or happens with a one off trade deal.

Because if we lose access to the single market, Amazon WILL have to setup a british HQ and channel all the UKs profits through there subjecting them to corporation tax.(finally) with the inland theives (i mean revenue) lookign at them very carefully for dodgey things like IP transfer pricing that just so happens to match the entire years profits.. and the same the following year for an entirely different amount that just so happened to match that years profits too.

And for a lot of remainers who wittle on about the EU 'protecting our rights' , just remember the the EU as currently setup is the a neo-liberal multi-national corporatists wet dream made flesh.

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How much do you think Cisco's paying erstwhile Brit PM David Cameron?

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Whatever his fee is...

And into a nice off shore tax free account provide by his dad no doubt.... alledgedly

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Brit tech forges alliance to improve cyber security as MPs moan over 'acute scarcity' of experts

Boris the Cockroach
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How about

we are short of <buzzword> techie experts, but we dont want to pay them the going rate, nor do we want the costs of training them, and we want them now.

Cue a call to immigration and get them on the fast track visa system along with all the other techie/skilled trades we are short of for exactly the same reasons as listed above.

But who wants to go into security when a lucky break for you (and your employer) means that you cracked a malware, disabled it completely, and you get invited to speak at a cyber-security conference in the US and get fingered by the feds for posting some code up on the internet that got put into some other mal-ware......

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Trump wants to work with Russia on infosec. Security experts: lol no

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: Tee hee. Trump is to Putin as --

Quote

"Another reason the USA might consider the EU to be taking the piss is that the USA is obliged by treaty through NATO to militarily defend what are primarily EU nations, quite a few of which then massively neglect their military establishment"

How much were the lives lost in the NATO mission to Afganistan worth then?

How much was each of the 400 UK lives worth?

How much was each of the 60 odd Germans lives worth? the canadians.. the french, the aussies? even the danish took some

And the wounded/injured?

Then look me in the eye and wittle on about how NATO countries dont contribute..

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Brits whinging less? About ISPs, networks and TV? It's gotta be a glitch in the Matrix

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Re: A better informed and empowered customer base?

Quote

Or they have given up complaining and just accept tthings are they way they are with no hope of resolution.

This one...... have you ever spent time calling the ISP's helpline?

Then listening to 'John' or 'Sandra' repeat word for word the script in front of them with no deviation

"Have you turned it off and on?" "Is your computer switched on?" "Have you checked the plugs?"

And so on and so on for 15 minutes until you say that your PC is using linux where upon they say "we dont support linux" and you add "but I'm using a belkin router connected to your superhup and the superthub in modem mode only" and they transfer you to that call center in Scotland who seem to be able to resolve the problem in about 30 seconds....

Which makes you think "why dont they just connect you there in the first place!"

Go through that 3 or 4 times and you give up on the ISP's helpline and use google via your phone.....

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It walks, it talks, it falls over a bit. Windows 10 is three years old

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Window 10

can be summed up quite nicely with

"No matter how well you polish..... its stull a turd"

<<hiding from the works laptops that have win 10 on them..

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US drug cops snared crooks with pre-cracked BlackBerry mobes – and that's just the start

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Illicit drugs and Alcohol/Tobacco

I cant upvote this enough

Having seen what heroin addiction does to somebody, lie cheat and mostly go out stealing just to fund the next fix(and if she couldn't do that there was always selling herself to fund it)

"But you'll make everyone a junky!!!" comes the scream

Given how much booze there is available... how many of us posting here are dependent on booze, and how many are addicts?

Make heroin available on prescription and you'll kill off the illegal trade for a start, plus the addicts will have a clean supply (vital if injecting..... blergh) plus be known and will have access to councelling/treatment to get them off the stuff in the first place.

Make cannabis legal to sell under licence and you'll get rid of the crims from that trade and be able to remove the super 'skunk' strength crap as well.

Perhaps throw in education too... "hey kids , drugs dont solve your problems"

And we might free the police//justice system to concentrate on the real problems.... like abusing RIPA to find out who lets their dog shit on the village green every day....

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Cancelled in Crawley? At least your train has free Wi-Fi now, right?

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

I'd be glad

If they took the fareday cage concept further and used it to block all mobile signals in and out of the train.

At least I'd be able to snooze away quietly without 40 demented morons shouting "I'm in the train" every 30 seconds .......

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Welsh firm fined £60k for pummelling phones with 270k pay-day loan texts

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Re: Hmm

Theres always a big plus for MK in my book... at least its not Swindon

Boris

<<<< has been dead and that was more fun that Swindon

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When Google's robots give your business the death sentence – who you gonna call?

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Yet another example of social entropy.

But how do I get the suckers.. err customers to buy the latest shiney shiney crap?

But we should thank the late DNA for this quote

"Customers who overcame the superficial designs flaws were so happy with the product that they never noticed the fundamental design flaws with the product"

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Automated payment machines do NOT work the same all over the world – as I found out

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: English?

And did Cthulu arrive to destroy Paris?

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HP Ink's UK profits tumble nearly 85% – of course Brexit to blame

Boris the Cockroach
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The reason

the profitsd dipped due to 'admin expenses' is more than likely due to the company having a profit sharing scheme if profits were over a certain %

HP then created the 'admin expenses' item so that overall profits were reduced by the payment % but still kept all the cash.

<<used to work for a company that tried that accounting trick once to avoid the profit share.... was very hard for them to make any money when the entire staff went on strike including the plant manager (who dipped out on 10K)

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Galileo, here we go again. My my, the Brits are gonna miss EU

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Heres the

one thing that fascinates me

About this whole eu or not eu question.

Airbus threatened to pull the wing making plant out of the UK and re-locate it to somewhere (most likely France) in europe.

11 000 jobs gone.. poof.

Only thing that makes me wonder is..... Airbus will stop recieving wings on brexit day. so unless they get on building the new wing plant PDQ they're going to have rather a lot of airplanes with no wings (and thats before you get into things like training the new workforce, and qualifying the plant to produce wings that dont fall apart on the ground or in the air).

And that airbus are quite happy to have stuff made for them in China and the US.

Its an attempt to get the twats in charge to actually work out a deal before the date (mind you I wouldn't trust the tories to be able to hold a piss up in a brewery, and the EU to be able to even FIND the brewery in first place... which is why they want Galileo in the first place)

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UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

Boris the Cockroach
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And

that would be the worst punishment of all for him

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Get a grip, literally: Clumsy robots can't nab humans' jobs just yet

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Screw the people this will put out of work then.

Quote

Robotic strawberry picking is under development and will get a boost if the farmers want to keep their farms in the UK.

And as a plus point to all the economic voodoo artists out there. that will mean that productivity per person will increase too.

Which leads to the final point of automation......... when will it spread to the upper layers of manglement?

I mean that gotta be easy.

Profits down... fire 10% of the work force

Profits up : increase manglement bonus

Share price down : Launch buy back scheme

Possible insider trading scam : sell all personal shares and resign

Criminal charges relating to misuse of company pension funds : jump off company boat while moored off the Azores

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Happy birthday, you lumbering MS-DOS-based mess: Windows 98 turns 20 today

Boris the Cockroach
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Alert

Ekkkk

All that talk of win 95 and win 98 has set off my PTSD

Be quiet or I'll take you all back to .dll hell with me !

Ah yes the joys of when windows did'nt protect their key files and some random program decides to overwrite a .dll with an older one that does'nt support anything win98 throws at it........ and your PC is dead.

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Do UK.gov wonks understand sci-tech skills gap? MPs dish out Parliamentary kicking

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Perhaps

it would be better if the Mps et al were made aware of how much skill and knowledge it takes to produce stuff nowadays.

Sure we still have unskilled operators ... 8 of them , however 1 of them wants to convert to being one of the STEM type people the robot/machine setters are... so we gave him a list

We'll start with

PC literate(and that doesn't mean being able to open a mS doc)

Able to learn the CAM system used

Able to set 5 axis machine tools. fun (not)

Make sure the robots are loaded with the correct programs.

Run through the cycle safely diagnosing any faults and correcting them

A large knowledge of material properties, cutter properties and the proper use of both will be handy

Along with the ability to design setups from 'heres the back of a fag packet' all the way upto a functioning machine tool cell making 30 widgets a minute, or a £25 000 one off tool plate thats needed 3 days ago

Oh and the pay.... 25K if you're lucky .. maybe 32k if you do 50hr+ weeks

In other words, just like every other STEM job out there.... a huge amount of knowledge needed just to be able to do it, combined with a shite amount of pay(and a fair amount of stress... because its always the techies fault something is late/does'nt work, not the highly regarded PHB who hasnt a fucking clue how to do his job)

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BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

I suspect expert window lock tester is coming up in his future at some point.....

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JURI's out, Euro copyright votes in: Whoa, did the EU just 'break the internet'?

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

On the plus side

no more of those downfall parodies where Hitler has his subtitles replaced..

Maybe that was the cause...... knowing that the great unwashed could take video of the great and worthy and make them look like utter chumps (instead of them actually proving they are utter chumps...)

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Pwned with '4 lines of code': Researchers warn SCADA systems are still hopelessly insecure

Boris the Cockroach
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4 lines of code?

Heck I could do 250k worth of damage just by changing a + into a -

Might be extremely dangerous to the operator.. or some other poor guy standing by the machine.. but who cares, I'm 5000 miles away in darkest <insert the name of this week's enemy>

And thats by owning the machine used to store the robot programs......... which is why its wi-fi is turned off..... and a big notice saying "DO NOT CONNECT THISLAPTOP OR THE MACHINES TO THE NETWORK" is over it.

And before the "update update update and you'll be safe" crowd arrive, the machines have notices in the manuals saying "The OS should not be updated and machine manufacturer bears no responsibility if the OS is updated and the machine breaks down/goes mad and kills everyone"

So either security is baked into the controls from the start, or you air gap

Mind you, put the wrong command into the robot's PLC and it goes on a killing spree anyway

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'No, we are not rewriting Office in JavaScript' and other Microsoft tales

Boris the Cockroach
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Trollface

Re: Emacs

Coding is easy

Its the testing thats a bastard

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Strip Capita of defence IT contract unless things improve – Brit MPs

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

That

extra R is being well earned by Capita

Can someone explain why , given their past failures, we keep throwing work to them?

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Office 365 celebrates National Beer Day by popping out for a pint

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: the service has slowed to a crawl or stopped altogether.

Is the m$ cheif problem solver a guy named "Bester" by any chance?

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Microsoft loves Linux so much its R Open install script rm'd /bin/sh

Boris the Cockroach
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Joke

I'm surprised

it didnt end with

rm ./ -r

Install win10 -y

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UK.gov online dating tips: Do get consent, don't make false claims or fake profiles

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Mad

Can you post a picture

Of her truck ?

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First A380 flown in anger to be broken up for parts

Boris the Cockroach
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Quote:

As usual, the aircraft which puts passenger comfort at the forefront is the one that airlines don't want to use ...

The aircraft the airlines want to use are governed by the equation of passenger miles per gallon of jetfuel + landing charges/number of passengers.

So if its 10 quid cheaper to stuff 300 people into a pair of 777s rather than 600 in a 380 , they will.

After all.. airlines are run by accountants and they NEVER fly cattle class....

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Tech rookie put decimal point in wrong place, cost insurer zillions

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Hampshire? rich??

Come to Portsmouth and say that in Paulsgrove/Somerstown areas... or Southampton's St Mary's district for example....

And as for "whaaa northern rail does'nt get any money" come to waterloo and try the pompey express... 1 hour 25 mins to go 65 miles........ that is if the infrastructure/trains does'nt fall over somewhere and block the system up (usually in south London).

Anyway , back to the topic of the mis-placed decimal point, one of my former collegues at a previous employer did that.... moved the robot's reference point 150mm instead of 15mm....

Only did £25 000 of damage ...... with a very loud bang.... the machine was going 2500rpm when the arm hit....

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Watchdog slams TSB boss for underplaying extent of IT meltdown

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Same old.

Quote:

It will be interesting if the MP's get to anything that seems like a plausible truth though....

Only if MPs were affected by it..............

If only the proles were... who cares.... make the chair of the committee a director and give him/her a fat pay check and its no action beyond a token slap on the wrist followed by trebles all round..

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Nadella tells worried GitHub devs: Judge us by our actions

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: "trust us"

I'm bitching because m$ had a damn good product (eventually) in windows 7, a decent UI, not too shabby in the kernal, and way more stable in use than vista or Xp had been.

And what happened? they threw all that out of the window with win8 which nobody wanted, then decided to go "You WILL have win10 whether you want it or not"

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Boris the Cockroach
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Linux

"trust us"

Yeah right..... the people that rammed win 10 into your PC even when you said "nay nay and thrice nay"

Or when updating the OS the other day decided to switch the verbal assistant back on....... how long was that listening to the in-company chat before it decided to speak up with "you are having trouble finding file AX-blah blah... would you like me to find it?" while I was typing in the search bar...

And as a final note, I'd love the names and addresses of all those m$ insiders who loved the win 10 UI so much that m$ made it standard... so I could go show everyone else's 'appreciation' for their hard work...

yeah I'm off to linux land...

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Four hydrogen + eight caesium clocks = one almost-proven Einstein theory

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: This is why science rocks

And I'm still waiting for the homoeopathic cure for a 90% blocked heart artery......

Also... is it any good for multiple leg and knee fractures or do I have to use healing crystals for that?

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DIYers rejoice: Hitting stuff to make it work even works in space

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Us technical/engineering

already have that hard pad for percussive maintenence of equipment and as a plus, we develop hardened pads over our knuckles too for applying percussive maintenence to the idiot that broke the equipment in the first place

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