* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1553 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

SpaceX releases Pythonesque video of rocket failures

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Because

nobody will watch the weeks and weeks of blue screens followed by stupid smiliys going "something has gone wrong"

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UK Data Protection Bill lands: Oh dear, security researchers – where's your exemption?

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

So

the guy informing Iceland (in another el-reg story today) that their web security sucks would be committing a crime by finding out Iceland's web security sucks

And then another crime by going public with the information 12 months after telling Iceland their web security sucks.

Is this what is ment by "Security through obscurity"?

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El Reg is hiring an intern. Here's the lowdown...

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

I'd love

to apply, sadly theres no place for a tired old robot programmer with a liking for turning them into terminators instead of 'place widget A in hole B' type robots

Plus the fact a season ticket from here to the smoke costs 5K a year

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Boffins: 68 exoplanets in prime locations to SPY on humanity on Earth

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Given our

history of war/genocide/setting people on fire for not believing in the right sky fairies

I'd suspect theres no way aliens would even want to contact us and would setup an exclusion zone around the solar system to stop any casual vistor from arriving.

Imagine the damage humanity could do with the tech that could enable us to travel to the stars... e.g. taking a 100mm asteroid, accelerating it to 99.% of C and aiming at our earthside enemies.....

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Microsoft says it won't fix kernel flaw: It's not a security issue. Suuuure

Boris the Cockroach
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Trollface

Re: You are spoiling us Mr El Reg

I've been hating m$ for alot longer than 2 mins

And for many good reasons

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Scottish pensioners rage at Virgin cabinet blocking their view

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: Silly really...

Quote:

no matter what you do to your existing customer base if you sell your product cheaply enough then muppets will always buy it.

OI Some of us have'nt got any choice when it comes to decent internet speeds... No way I'm going back to a BT openretch supplied murdoch offering... Yay you can have any speed you like, and indeed we'll sell you any speed you like , but dont complain if you only get 50K between 6pm and 11pm

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Sub plot subplot thickens: Madsen claims hatch fumble killed Swede journo Kim Wall

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: She was a journo ...

Perhaps she complained about the lack of headroom in the sub and he solved the problem by cutting off her head

(Originally used by one S.Baldrick to solve the problem of his mother's low ceiling)

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Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Hes

making it up as he goes along

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Smart meters: 'Dog's breakfast' that'll only save you 'a tenner' – report

Boris the Cockroach
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And it does'nt matter

how smart your meter is... since we're all moving to 'lleccy cars and have to rip out most of the underground cables in order that they dont melt down under the load at 3am of 100 cars recharging......

The only use I have for a smart meter is that they are proof that humans can take a basic problem and come up with some god awful solutions....

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Retail serfs to vanish, all thanks to automation

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Good news

for the educated among us

Crap news for those (and theres lots more of them) who aren't educated

PS... if the vast majority are unemployed, just how are they going to spend money buying tat from robot staffed warehouses?

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Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

My favourite Pterry quote is

from Guards Guards, where the said guards arrest a man whos just seen a dragon burn all his not so evil associates to death

"Cant we do something for the poor man" Said Lady Ramkin, as he stood there shivering with fear

"I can kick him in the bollocks" replied Nobby

One from the 'SPG' style of policing ....

Best book

"Small gods"

Burn me over an iron turtle if that is'nt true

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Microsoft's fix for web graphics going AWOL? Disable your antivirus

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Re: Is IE still a thing?

Only for downloading better web browsers when using a windows PC for the first time

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WannaCrypt NHS victim Lanarkshire infected by malware again

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: "Plus public sector IT has been an easy target for cuts for years"

Quote:

"Still, I would like to see how the budget was spent..."

Item 1. Office refurbishment for the management including new desks/chair/blinds and new paint(Ok it had only been done 2 yrs previously but it was starting to look worn out)

Item 2. New PCs for the management, because they were starting to look worn out (the arrow on the return key was faded)

Item 3. Training the management to use the new PCs

Item 4. Getting several contractors to re-install windows after 1 of the managers gets a virus

Item 5. Several surveys of NHS trusts to find out how they coped with viruses(hotel stays and full expenses included... strange how the surveys were during the summer and in Cornwall/West Wales)

Item 6. Drawing up a report for the senior NHS manglement recommending that the NHS increases the number of in-house IT staff, making a disaster backup plan and training all staff to use the NHS computer systems properly

Item 7. Buying a shredder and inserting said report into it as thats cheaper and quicker than doing item 6.

There... I think that just about covers it

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Nasty firmware update butchers Samsung smart TVs so bad, they have to be repaired

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Re: This was bound to happen

Quote: DON'T BUY SMART APPLIANCES!

You wont have a choice soon as they'll be needed to talk to your new spiffy smart electric meter... so they can shut you down if you :

A forget to pay the bill (somewhat likely)

B. they forgot to build enough power stations(very likely)

Besides if they can see the TV is'nt on, they know you could be doing something subversive ......

like writing an illegal journal in the one spot the televisor cant see..........

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10% of UK's top firms would be screwed in a cyber attack – survey

Boris the Cockroach
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Holmes

Re: Bored level?

Or more likely

"we fired that area of the business as it never made us any money"

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UK.gov to treat online abuse as seriously as IRL hate crime

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

So,,, criticising

the 3 major religions that worships one god

can be described as

1. fair comment lets ignore it

2. online hate speech worthy of a fine

3. online hate speech with genocide worthy of a prison sentence

Depending which one you criticise and the mood of the bored plod whos having to listen to the umpteenth complaint that day.

Perhaps its better if I dont say anything bad about religion.......

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THE B*******DS WANT YOU TO DO

Can you imagine the court cases where the nazi is whining that his twitter feed is full of "f. you nazi" and goes on to win?

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Oh, boy! Uber investors behind CEO sueball say Travis Kalanick won't let the company grow up

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Re: So, let me count the ways . .

You forgot to add "making a tescos cheap pizza last from monday to thursday"

Or was that just me?

And i'm not shedding one tear for the "boo hoo I've got it hard" generation either

Especially since I'm a graduate of "earning too much to qualify for benefit and help with uni fees, but having to live on 30 quid a week because they cant take my uni fees into account when calculating if I qualify for benefit"

Next .. on a lighter note

4 yorkshire men

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Commentard Quizwall experiment ends with more quizzing than commenting

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: OutRageUs

Its the results of brexit... bet them old foogies dreaming of WW2 and empire didn't expect that

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Google and its terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week in full

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Kieren, thank you for avoiding profanity this time

Actually, I've found that black and asian people can be just as vile and racist as us white folks.

To suggest that they cant be is in itself , racist and discrimatory..

And wtf are we on about in a pointless and boring discussion about sex and race when everyone turns red when you get 5mm inside and if you go any deeper, you find green and purple tubey bits.

FFFFFSFfsfssssssss and pass me the chanti ....

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WannaCry-killer Marcus Hutchins denies Feds' malware claims

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Perhaps

he should name the NSA as co-defendant....... especially since they created the malware that wannacry exploited....

More seriously, never share code on the internet is the lesson for us all now, especially if you travel to the US.

After all, someone can take your code, combine it with someone else's , then stir in their own and bingo.. a key logging trojan.. that you can be collared for.

And if you're unlucky enough to be collared in the US like this guy was , always remember one thing.

Even though your an ebil thieving malware code slinger(in the cops view)... the bill of rights applies to you just as much as any US citizen.... so 5th amendment and make sure you have a lawyer when you're interviewed.

Why else were terrorists waterboarded in cuba.... because it would have been illegal in the USA......

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WannaCry-slayer Marcus Hutchins 'built Kronos banking trojan' – FBI

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Re: Proportionality ...

The reason for the huge sentences in the US are 2 fold

1. Is to get the perp to squeal in return for a reduced sentence

2. because the US still relies on the for profit prison industry to supply it with cheap labour... why else would over 2 million people be locked up in the 'free' USA

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'Real' people want govts to spy on them, argues UK Home Secretary

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Real people dont

need encryption

Well, the next time she goes online shopping she can post her credit card details, and everything else needed for the order in plain text to the supplier.

After all.. REAL people dont need encryption.....

PS what is it about the home office that turns regular politicians into outright fascist b*****ds?

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User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Grooming habits... or lack thereof...

Quote:- On the other hand I know they are paying for that with a long, lingering and agnoising death so I hold my breath as best I can and limp past when I need to.

Best anti-smoking ad I've found was one night in the MAU at the local hospital(I was there with repeat chest pains) and there was a guy there about 60'ish sounding like he was drowning.... gurgle gurgle gurgle

Then a nurse would turn up and turn on the suction pump and he could breathe for a bit before going back to gurgling.

Should play that noise back to the kids who think smoking is cool with a note saying "this is how you'll die if you smoke"

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Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies

Boris the Cockroach
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Boffin

The power

output of the sun is rising (well its surface temperature is)

In about 1.5 billion years time it will be enough to get earth's average temp to about 60-70 degrees c..... at which point it stops raining and all the water in the oceans ends up in the atmosphere very rapidly.

This increases the green house effect and air pressure at the surface resulting in a runaway action and earth ends up like venus.

Surface temp 400c+, pressure 90bar+

Enough to fry all life... even Keith Richards

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Zero accidents, all of your data – what The Reg learnt at Bosch's autonomous car bash

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Its the edge cases

That will kill people

99.99% of the time, you're going along happy and cheerful, you've started off, joined a main route and now you've stopped at your destination without ever really having to be anything than an alert passenger

That 00.01% of the time, your pilot side pitot tube has had tape left on it and the aircraft software cant decide how fast you are going, never thinks to check the input from the co-pilot's side and your spiffy airbus does a nose plunge into the sea as the pilots cant decide what the hell the flight software is on about.

If aircraft flight control software can throw up that sort of glitch WITH all the testing that goes on, you've got f all chance of getting me inside one of those cars.

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May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Now I've woken up

and not in grumpy 1/2 asleep mode

I think the greatest sci-fi thing has got to be

Kerbal Space program..... for showing us mortals just how f***ing hard it is getting into space in the first place .....

Explosion icon...linked with KSP forever

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Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Re: Snowy

DS9 was a rip of B5 because JMS gave paramount the series outline when he was pitching it to the various studios....

Anyway thats what Bester told me to write

The corps is mother, the corps is father

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Virgin Media biz service goes TITSUP* across London

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: right! own up!

Bet it was the same 16 yr old that dug up Portsmouths cable connection a few years ago.....

What we really need to do is route 33Kv underground power feeds next to the critical internet connections

Then when the moron in the JCB gets into action, we're one moron less.....

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It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

Boris the Cockroach
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Childcatcher

Re: "I still don't understand why pseudo images are illegal."

Wont be long before owning pictures of the Sistine chapel will become illegal... all those nude little cherubs etc etc etc.

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Happy 4th of July: Norks tests another missile

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: "just gabbing on until..Norks have the ability to nuke the whole US and..free to invade SK.

Quote: They've probably got much more artillery,

And that the problem.. a shedload of short range missiles and 155mm artillery aimed at all the interesting targets south of the DMZ... like the South Korean capital

Hit that with some rockets loaded with VX and you're looking at 50 000 casualties before 30 mins have gone since declaring war.....

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Constant work makes the kilo walk the Planck

Boris the Cockroach
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Headmaster

Re: Confused

104.6 mm

<<is an injeerneer

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Fancy fixing your own mobile devices? Just take the display off carefu...CRUNCH !£$%!

Boris the Cockroach
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I can understand

making the device out of glue, impossible screws and general borking any attempt to change the screen/mb/case....... but why the need to glue the battery in and make that impossible to swap out too?

I mean the battery is the first component thats going to wear out (assuming you dont drop the thing)

And its full of ikky chemicals too..............

Or is it a scam designed to force us to buy the latest shiny when an easily replacable part goes titsup

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Virus (cough, cough, Petya) goes postal at FedEx, shares halted

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Well, MAYBE this will get their attention

Or more likely

an idiot user was using a work PC to do some personal business and a friend e.mailed him the virus

And dispite the big sign nailed to the moniter saying "dont open attatchments".....

or a USB stick with some music on it... or any one of 1/2 dozen ways the users get round the restrictions put on works computers to stop the bastards buggering everything up

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Blighty's first aircraft carrier in six years is set to take to the seas

Boris the Cockroach
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Gonna be nice

seeing a proper ship come into Portsmouth harbour for a change instead of these poxy 20 000 ton toy boats the Navy/ferry companies use at the moment.

Lets hope it does'nt get loose in high winds and end up in the still and west pub like the last big ship to leave Portsmouth :)

See HMS Vanguard

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Heaps of Windows 10 internal builds, private source code leak online

Boris the Cockroach
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Linux

Will

anyone from the open sauce area of expertise be going through the code looking for the bits of code lifted from linux et al and covered by the GPL .....

Imagine the fun that will start when the open sauce lawyers land on m$ with "cease and desist" leteers followed by "we're gonna drag you into court and sue the arse off you " letters....

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Doormat junk: Takeaway menus, Farmfoods flyer, NHS data-sharing letter... wait, what?

Boris the Cockroach
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Angel

Re: Your

I was unaware upvotes were a competition.....

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Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Your

opt out letter is on display... in a locked filing cabinet in a disused toilet with a sign on the door saying "beware of the leopard"

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Canadian sniper makes kill shot at distance of 3.5 KILOMETRES

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

I think the comment

from Accuracy international is needed here when it was asked about the previous best shot.

"Anything at that range is more down to luck than anything else"

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Scottish govt mulled scrapping £178m car-crash IT system

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Huh?

Because it was approved by the standing committe in charge of rural affairs, which has replaced all its members who made the decision with new members who have nothing to do with the previous members decision, while the previous members themselves have all joined other government and civil service committes and therefore cannot be repremanded as this would disrupt the current work the former committe members are engaged in their new roles for other committees.

As for sacking the former members of the rural affairs committee, we would be unable to do this as it would expose the government to the costs of unfair dismissal proceding, which if proved could be quite substantional.

Therefore we would have an inquiry into the failing of the rural affairs committee, with recommendations for the new members of the committe to follow while quietly allowing any former member of the committee to retire early on a full pension to avoid the need for an unfair dismissal proceding , then be re-hired as consultants to the commitee that they have already been moved to.

/Sir Humphrey mode off

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Google coughs up $5.5m to make recruiters 'screwed out of overtime pay' go away

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: ""Defendants deliberately and uniformly cheated plaintiffs "

whats the other 1/2 cover?

cheating shareholders/investers?

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BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Must stop

reading BoFH..... its giving me far too many bad ideas........

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Ofcom fines Three £1.9m over vulnerability in emergency call handling

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Because you

can survive not being able to call your nephew to congratulate him on passing his degree, but not a serious heart attack...

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DUP site crashes after UK general election

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: "Tory,Labour,LibDem (Against)"

Bollocks

The SNP ARE an nationalist party that just so happens to wear socialism as a cloak

Look what happens whenever theres a report about how badly the SNP/Green party are running Scotland

Its instant "Indyref2.. All the nasty englishes fault .... indyref2.... blame westminister ... did I say indyref2... oh I dint INDYREF2".... followed by "quick, someone call BBC scotland and make them put Braveheart on a continous loop"

Thats the snp.... nationalists to the core first and foremost, dont care about what happens to anyone else so long as they can get scotland out of the UK and then hold power for themselves.

Oh and if scotlands health service in in financial crisis...... just ask the SNP about that power they have to vary scotland's income tax rate from the UK wide one......... and why they dont use it.

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Cabinet Office minister Gummer loses seat as Tory gamble backfires

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

I had the misfortune

of finding wens and thurs copies of the sun* (they were in the emergency toilet paper dispenser)

Both editions were full of "JC is a terrorist supporting commie marxist Britian hating 2 faced barsteward"

And no sign of any explaining of the tory position apart from "god save the queen " and "may is wonderful"

With the amount of hate fired at JC, I'd begin to suspect he has the backers of such rags (and the daily wail/excess) worried in case he won and took their tax breaks away... and with that amount of hate, JC could have been worth voting for...

*I'd like to see some honesty in the media with the sun/wail/excess being renamed "Voice of the conservative party" or something...

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Walmart workers invited to shuttle packages

Boris the Cockroach
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Alert

Why am I reading

parts of that article in Cave Johnson's voice.

"Participation is voluntary... but only if your contract has the opt out clause"

"Our fulfillment centers are the safest fulfillment centers anywhere, and always needing more voluntary workers.."

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Trident nuke subs are hackable, thunders Wikipedia-based report

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: The weakest point ... ?

Quote:

Ah, a counterstrike. Yes, we could kill millions of civilians, none of whom had any responsibility for the original attack

Its why we aimed at Soviet cities... there was no point aiming at missile silos or airfields or naval bases because the targets would be long gone.

So you aim at the enemy infrastructure.... going to be damn hard claiming victory over the evil capitalist west when most of your major cities are smoking holes in the ground*

That was whole point of MAD, whatever you did to your enemy would land on you 30 mins later

Of course thats assuming that both sides are rational and care about what happens after you press the button.. when one side is glad to kill the unbelievers and is happy that so many of its own people will be on their way to paradise, then you have a problem....

* of course the smoking holes in the ground thing does lead to the great question of nuclear warfare

.... deciding WHICH smoking hole in the ground is the winner

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BA's 'global IT system failure' was due to 'power surge'

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Boots on the ground

Quote: Outsourcing it simply doesn't make sense.

It makes perfect sense

Outsource the IT support saving the company X millions.

Get a fat bonus as a reward.

Add that to your CV

Leave and join a.n.other company with the line "I saved x millions at my last job"

New company gives you x millions for being good

Previous company falls over due to IT support being worth as effective as an infinite number of monkeys

New company sweeps up all the previous companies customers.

You get another fat bonus

And decide to outsource your current employers IT op...... (and repeat until you can early retirement at 45)

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British prime minister slams Facebook and pals for votes

Boris the Cockroach
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Media editing

They're all at it...

I came across a story from the metro paper saying "UKIP want the death sentence for suicide bombers"

Where upon reading what the UKIP leader actually said you find out that she said nothing of the sort.

But hey ho, thats the media for you, never one to put their own bias on a story of course.

As for May and her "campaign to rid farcebook et al of extremist speech" where does extremist speech end and normal speech begin?

Who defines what is extremist?

How much mission creep will there be?

How much will the new laws be abused by the next generation of politicans.

After all, I could see an election won by the green party and they decide anyone supporting nuclear power or wanting discussion of global warming causes being labeled "an extremist" and carted off to jail after having their postings deleted.

The best way to fight extremists and their supporters is not to ban them and censor them (as many on the left want to do with the f***ing british nazi party and now May wants to do with so called muslim extremists) but to drag them out into the daylight and force them to discuss their views with people outside their own little circle of haters.

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UK ministers to push anti-encryption laws after election

Boris the Cockroach
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Looks like

I'm off to jail for writing a program that uses public/private key encryption, then sharing it with a a friend

We put up with the the IRA without this level of intrusion, hell we even fought off a bunch of facist nutters for 6 years then dumped all the regulations involved the day after we won....

A few extremist nutters are not goign to be that much of a threat... especially if they are ALREADY known to the security services......

And I'm not going to mention the guys who sent tip offs to the police hotline saying "Hey this guy is a nutter"

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Britain's on the brink of a small-scale nuclear reactor revolution

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: A complete non-starter

Yupp... and the reason?

The so called 'green' lobby with its obsession with windmills and solar... along with constant yelling of "Its not safe its not safe"

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