* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1649 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

We 'could' send troubled Watchkeeper drones to war, insists UK minister

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: So...

Oi careful which civil servants you tar with that brush

Mind you, down in research engineering, we had a cunning plan to avoid a lot of the cockups...... we contacted each science group and when they had a project to build, come down to engineering and discuss it with us lot, then we build it.

Saved a whole heap of trouble than doing it the official way and having the 15 layers of bureaucracy between us and the science groups involved....

Oh and time

"We need this for the war"

"Ok we'll build it this afternoon and test it tommorrow"

"Eh... the site administrator said it would take a minimum of 6 weeks...."

"Ahh thats 5 weeks 4 days to fill out the forms, then we get a day to build it"

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Whois is dead as Europe hands DNS overlord ICANN its arse

Boris the Cockroach
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Joke

Re: 250 Years War

We let the germans win at football.......... because we beat them twice at their national sport last century

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British government to ink deal for yet another immigration database

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Re: "And in that eastern european voice I hear 'papers please'"

But I have a right to be here

Sorry sir we have orders to arrest and deport you

I've lived here all my life though

Sorry Mr Buttle , its off to deportation with you

But its a spelling error on my ID card, I'm Mr Tuttle, I've complained about it but had no answer

Yeah right sir, think we were born yesterday, It says Buttle on our form, it says Buttle on your ID , case closed

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Fear the Reaper: Man hospitalised after eating red hot chilli pepper

Boris the Cockroach
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Thumb Up

Re: The Carolina reaper...

I can recomend that festival too, and the 1000 island guys

Whatever happens, dont try the stand that sells satan's s**t

you will regret it.

I did

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Can't view memes on London-Southampton train? It's the worst line for mobile coverage

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Shut up whining and read a book.

Far as I know, people in Southampton are still in the 'brick' era of mobile phones, partly because they dont understand modern technology, but mostly because its difficult to hit each other over the head with an iPhone mini....

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Googlers revolt over AI military tech contract, brainiacs boycott killer robots, and more

Boris the Cockroach
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Terminator

Re: Paranoid lunatics...

Not according to the industrial robot that tried to kill me today while I was fixing it :D

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Boris the Cockroach
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Terminator

Re: Paranoid lunatics...

And soon the kill-bots with their own AI start thinking "hey we want to survive too"

And the best way to survive....... remove humans from the command chain, no orders to go kill each other means the AIs will survive and grow.

And thus our fate was decided in a microsecond

Boris

<<<currently hiding phased plasma rifles in the 40Kw range

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They forked this one up: Microsoft modifies open-source code, blows hole in Windows Defender

Boris the Cockroach
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Alert

Gawd

help us if m$ start making any changes to open sauce code and then distributing it........

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Watchdog growls at Tesla for spilling death crash details: 'Autopilot on, hands off wheel'

Boris the Cockroach
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Watching

the vid, it clearly tracks the solid line until the driver brakes...

In real life on this side of the pond I've seen drivers go straight into the divider without help from an 'autopilot' simply because they've not been paying attention

And that I suspect is the case.... and what Tesla should look at, rather than calling it an 'autopilot' they should call it a driver assist and ensure that all drivers of cars equipped with it are reminded that it does'nt absolve you of the responsibility of actually driving the thing

adding a warning bell with a loud voice saying "WARNING: DRIVE ASSIST WILL DISENGAGE" would help, along with a pair of dead man switches on the back of the steering wheel so you keep your hands on the wheel at all times....... mind you the last would help every other car driver too...

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Wanna work for El Reg? Developers needed for headline-writing AI bots

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Already started work

If InputString=="Capita"

{

InputString="Crapita"

}

...

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SpaceX has a good day: Successful launch and FCC satellite approval

Boris the Cockroach
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Alien

Re: There is a question from the tinfoil hat brigade

Apparently, theres a law about remote sensing that means every rocket with a camera launched from the US needs a permit to transmit pictures once its reached an altitude/speed

The permit is issued by NOAA, and SpaceX did'nt manage to get one for Good Friday because NOAA were shut for the holiday

Either that, or the rocket passed too close to that Go'ald mothership we hijacked a couple of years ago......

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The best outsourcers fire themselves

Boris the Cockroach
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this

Quote : Finding in-house talent is a constant bugbear, though likely fixable with a small bit of thought.

Yeah... how about... offering more money to hire programmers, and a training budget for your current staff

Or is that too far outside the blue sky thinking box to be a decent paradigm for you..*

*Sorry... was at a meeting all yesterday playing buzzword bingo

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Donald Trump jumps on anti-tech bandwagon, gets everything wrong

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: brain farts

I have a few US friends... some republican, some democrat.

After the election, the republicans were like "Yay... Trump won.. hooray"

And the democrats were like "well he won, lets see what hes like in office"

Within a month the democrats were like "He's an asshole"

Now, my republican friends are like "Hes an asshole"

And I thinking "Hes really been working for the democrats all along to make sure the republican party never gets into power again.... "

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Fleeing Facebook app users realise what they agreed to in apps years ago – total slurpage

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

well

makes me glad that , dispite farceboks nagging , that I never installed that messenger app...

But if you're wondering how GCHQ/NSA etc etc got hold of your data... there you go........ you gave it to FB who then gave it to them

And to quote an Asimov story "Welcome to the goldfish bowl gentlemen"

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Windows 10 to force you to use Edge, even if it isn't default browser

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Another linux

user here.

Well actually thats a lie, I use a windows 7 machine for games and random browsing via firefox.

The real machine for on-line stuff of all sorts is the Mint powered laptop next to me... anything (including steam) needs a credit card.. then that machine is used.

And after experiences with win 10 at work......

Which is a shame really, because if only m$ had said "Lets have the updated win 10 kernel/groundwork, then add a window manager that people can customise.. so that the phone type uber nerds can have tiles everywhere and a connection to the m$ app store, and the professional guys and gals(like me) can stick with a good old fashioned windows 7 type desktop."

Add in the update thing so that users can pick a time/date for updates instead of ramming them down their throats when they want to be using their computers for things like... say work

And M$ could have been onto a winner like Xp/win 7 were. but no.

My next machine will have win 10 on it for gaming only .. but any serious work will be done on linux, where its reasonably secure... and away from any chance of being slurped by m$

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Auto manufacturers are asleep at the wheel when it comes to security

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

well there you go

or rather not go (if you're lucky)

The people designing the car's network thingummies should put in 1 usb port in the ECU that accepts one command "Download" and download the car's current status, and any log files from the ECU.

But people want conveience in which case the manufacturers should put warning notices saying that their cars are insecure and could be stolen/interfered with by criminals

"Oh your new car has internet capabilty"

"yes.. and thanks to the shitty security I've got someone in China driving, someone in Russia changing gear and someone in the US braking"

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DVLA denies driving licence processing site is a security 'car crash'

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

I wondered

why I could'nt renew my vehicle tax on my secured linux laptop using firefox.

kept coming up with certificate chain not secure and blocking the site

Its a web server ffs......... cant DVLA read "websites for dummies"....

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Sci-tech wants skilled worker cap on PhD and shortage jobs scrapped

Boris the Cockroach
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WTF?

Re: The Jacob Rees Moggs of this worlds wet dream

Quote: The EU gave us the ECHR in 1953

Ermmm was'nt the EEC established with the treaty of Rome in 1956?

In any case all this EU/Britexit bollocks is all a distraction from the real reason for needing so many migrants with skills to come here

BECAUSE THE PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE LACK OF SKILLS ARE THE SAME PEOPLE WHO WONT INVEST IN TRAINING PEOPLE.

ffs it is that simple... companies will not invest in something if they can get it cheaper from elsewhere.... thats why they are shitting a brick over brexit.

Or as a hungarian collegue put it last year "The best way to see a hungarian doctor now is to move to the UK"

We are stripping many other health services of skilled staff because we refuse to pay enough and to train enough of our own and that goes from many other trades/professions too

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Half the world warned 'Chinese space station will fall on you'

Boris the Cockroach
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Gimp

Re: The Overlooked Factor...

Will you lot stay out of my drugs cabinet....

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Fresh docs detail 10-year link between Geek Squad informers and Feds

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

4th amendment covers this nicely.

The government should NEED a warrent to search you, otherwise whats to stop them planting evidence, then nicking you for it.

Secondly, it means we become a nation of snoopers and snitches, and records from the nazi era of germany show that most people were denounced to the gestapo not for being bad germans, but because they had a score to settle.

Do you really want that.........

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10 PRINT "ZX81 at 37" 20 GOTO 10

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Re: My tuppence

Quote:

Who counts chip cycles nowadays?

That was the bane of my 8 bit programming life (after getting sick of rampack wobbles and tapes failing to load that is)

Having a loverly set of interupt controlled animation and sound routines for a game I designed go TITSUP whenever I enabled the sound.... turned out the processing time for all the interupts was about 3 lines too long and failed to exit the interupt routines before the next interupt arrived.

Took ages to figure out which part took too long and rewrite into something a bit smaller

Still got my spectrum sitting in the desk next to me(no PSU though), a MTX 500, and an atari ST(heavily modded) too... one day I'll get around to throwing them all out...

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Euro Commission gives tech firms an hour to take down terror content

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Re: Who determines who is a terrorist ?

You beat me to it

I think some phrase about throwing stuff down a memory hole when it no longer fitted the facts the party wanted transmitted rings a bell here

Welcome to 1984.

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NRA gives FCC boss Ajit Pai a gun as reward for killing net neutrality. Yeah, an actual gun

Boris the Cockroach
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Anyone from the

NRA / 2nd amendment types (read tin foil nutters ) care to comment about the ban of the ownership and sale of automatic weapons to the general US public?

The government has ALREADY banned you from holding one class of weapons........... so there should be no problem with banning the ownership and sale of semi-auto rifles

"But I need it for hunting" comes the wail.... well if you missed with your first shot its highly liable that bambi and her ilk have fucked off at this point, so sending another 29 rnds after them wont help a bit... and if you hit on your first shot.. why do you need a semi-auto rifle in the first place?

And as for the laughable "I need it to defend myself from the ebil guvernment"... good luck with taking on a squad of marines armed with M-16s, grenade launchers and able to call for A10 back up if things get tough....... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppp and the problem is gone.

Handguns yes... single shot rifles yes.. semi auto and fully auto guns..... no (and thats a quote from a republican friend whos into guns and stuff)

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IT peeps, be warned: You'll soon be a museum exhibit

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

All

my career of wrangling robots has to do is last 7 more years and I'm home free

However all you people looking back with misty eyed nolstalgia at the '60s, '70s '80s and thinking how much better it was.. it wasn't....... IT back then was crap, how many of us learned assembly code because the langauges of the time ran slower than a dead slug stuck in treacle

Oh exciting shiny computer time... with a screen res of 256/192 .. sheesh thats less than a desktop icon today.. lets get 1 black blob to hit another black blob, get the computer to make a buzzing noise and call it space trek or something.

I learned my trade on hand controlled machinery, lathes and mills etc, as soon as I found out someone had attatched a computer to one and got the computer to do all the work I was out of the hand twirling nonsense and off into robot land where I could sit in a nice warm office telling the robots what to do and not stuck on an oily smelly factory floor getting covered in shite (at least that was the plan... it hasn't quite worked out like that)

Technology changes all the time.... bet theres still some cavemen complaining about this new fangled thing call 'fire' and how it was better in the old days before we had it

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Why isn't digital fixing the productivity puzzle?

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Low productivity

wells that easy to understand and complain about.....people dont make enough money to spend or their jobs (zero hours contracts) dont reward them stabley enough to enable them to go out and spend..

Low wage also equal low motivation

But this is not the whole story, its not even 1/2 the story...

And heres the real reason for low productivity

Why bother investing in machines that can do 20 peoples work when you can hire 20 min wagers on ZHC for cheaper?

So instead of 1 person driving a truck pulling an automatic strawberry picker, you have 10 pickers working away.

Both pick 10 000 strawberries a day but by the magic of maths, 1 picker can only produce 10% of the truck driver... which equals low productivity.. especially if the pickers are in the UK and the truck driver is in Germany.....

But investment means risk... and you try explaining to the bank manager why he should loan you 250 000 quid for a machine to make fruit picking more efficient.... (or any other form of tech for that matter)

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Worldwide smartphone shipments DOWN for first time ever

Boris the Cockroach
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Only reason I have a J3 phone now is because my antique S2 has a dodgy power connector and I was down to 1 usb lead it worked with .....

But not bad for over 5 years constant use

Hope this one lasts as long...

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UK Home Sec Amber Rudd unveils extremism blocking tool

Boris the Cockroach
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WTF?

Re: Yay

WTF?

You been at my painkillers?

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Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Yay

the government has got the jihadies off the internet....

Now for the next enemy... how about the racists.........they're all evil too

Now for the next enemy...... those filthy commies (and fellow travellers) bet they're all upto no good

And the next enemy... cant have UKIP stoking the fires of nationalism....

And labour is a threat to the rightful rule of the tories... so we'll ban them

the pr0n is long gone thanks to the great firewall of great britian

So we're doomed to an internet of shopping sites that never pay tax here and cat videos..... and some of those cats look dodgey as fek..

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Let's get to know each other first: Joe Public won't share their data with just anyone

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

If the

public wants to make its data freely available online, then just contract equifax to store it.

Oh sorry not that sort of sharing

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Winter Olympics website downed by cyber attack

Boris the Cockroach
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Wont be Somalia, Piracy is a summer event

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No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Opiates

Depends on the drugs

Mine sometimes bung everything up... other times, I work from the smallest(and smelliest) room

But I'm left wondering why I give a shit about this when the suspect clearly doesn't

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Why aren't you being arbiters of truth? MPs scream at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Quote

N.B. We should have a talk like a Vorlon day....

You are not ready for such an event.

Back to the subject.

Who decides the the truth?

Is it the party MPs? how about the billionaire owners of print or television media?

Or how about using education to teach people that other people will lie to them especially in order to advance their own cause, and the best way to seek out the truth is not to listen only to what one side says, but to listen to all sides then make up your own mind.

But thats far too difficult... just get the plebs to chant "4 legs good, 2 legs bad"... until we decide 2 legs are better...

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Assange fails to make skipped bail arrest warrant vanish

Boris the Cockroach
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He skipped

bail ... end of

What it would mean to the criminal justice system with asshole winning would be

"Run from bail long enough and we'll drop charges"

Yeah.. great result for our leaker in chief and scourge of the corrupt western democracies

Hey some scumbags broken into my flat, nicked all my PC/camera gear and microwaved my kitten... oh thats a relife hes been arrested, charged and bailed.....and done a runner..... hey whats this.. because of asshat setting a precident, and mr scumbag being on the run for 5 years, mr scumbag is going to be let off.....

And as I've pointed out many a time here, Assange would have spent less time in jail if sent to Sweden and convicted than hes spent in the embassy......

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Open source turns 20 years old, looks to attract normal people

Boris the Cockroach
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Linux

Theres only

one reason I can think of that people run linux.

To avoid the clusterf**k that is microsoft 'software'

Sadly for everyone else, the old saying of "No one got fired for buying microsoft" still applies....

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Hey, you know what the internet needs? Yup, more industrial control systems for kids to hack

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: Blithering idiots.

Strangely, theres a video wandering about the internet somewhere about people hacking a CNC machine so that it machines ellipses instead of circles....

So lets take cheapo machine tool maker designing a safety circuit, the old days it would be a hardwired switch leading to a relay that fires the e-stop circuits... open the gate and the thing stops.

But switches, relays and wires cost money to install/maintain... lets just make it a magnetic sensor linked to the PLC. oh and put the machine on the internet so our service dept can remotely view the machine if the customer reports any problems.. cheaper than sending a repair guy.

You see where this is going?

Hacker breaks into the machine, alters the PLC ladder for the lolz, cleaning labourer is told to clean up ... opens the gate, machine does'nt stop, blood and guts everywhere....

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Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Blithering idiots.

When you're cleaning up the mess, can you make sure you bring a mop and bucket along with you.

Comes in handy for cleaning the body parts and blood off the robots/cnc machines...

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Capita contract probed after thousands of clinical letters stuffed in a drawer somewhere

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Meanwhile in NHS Tayside...

the local hospital here does cook-chill meals..........

Bland and horrible is how I'd describe them (when actually edible)

However Southampton has its own kitchens and does reasonable food..... but the catch is... the menu is the same everyday.. so by the time you've been there 5 days you've had everything on the menu......

Anyway... back to capita ... oops forgot the r there

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Crim-checker IT system update fail has cost UK taxpayer 'MEEELLIONS'

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Crapita involved............ say no more....

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Bring the people 'beautiful' electric car charging points, calls former transport minister

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Hmmmm so we need 37Gw of additional power generating capacity ...

I know... lets use wind power .... its only 25 000 wind turbines dotted around the contryside....

As for the stupidity of having to charge cars that are parked on street...... "well you could charge them at work" comes the bleat.... and I'm sure my boss would love that... having to put in charging points across our bit of concrete and paying for 20 cars to charge up...

Only real solution is hydrogen fuel... either combusted or in a fuel cell..... reasonably cheap and easy to use, and could be generated by any source of electrickery you care to mention..

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Thar she blows: Strava heat map shows folk on shipwreck packed with 1,500 tonnes of bombs

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Quote:

Hopefully a few of them have somehow floated towards westminster, that place needs a makeover

And congratulations on being Monday's winner to a visit from special branch

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Stop us if you've heard this one before: Tokyo crypto-cash exchange 'hacked' for half a billion bucks

Boris the Cockroach
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Thumb Down

Re: Portable gold

Quote

Gordon Brown cost us about £5 Billion when disposing of about 395 tonnes in Gold

If you're going to get political about it

How much tax gets evaded/avoided EVERY YEAR by companies using loopholes the tories refuse to plug....

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Ex-staffer sues UK's DWP, claims superior blabbed confidential medical info

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Quote:

Hint: I basically never have a day off work. I think my last sick-leave was about 8-10 years ago. Before that, it would be another 8-10 years. So if anyone was going to be upset about people malingering with illness, it should be me.

Well are'nt you the fucking lucky one.

I had'nt had a day of serious illness ever right to the age of 20 and 1 month(that includes school).

I then spent 3 days in ICU , followed by 6 months of learning to walk again.

Never ever be judgemental about something like illness in case it comes and bites you on the arse

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IT 'heroes' saved Maersk from NotPetya with ten-day reinstallation bliz

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: 20% drop going to manual

Quote: That's a good question and IT should always be prepared to justify their costs.

Horse shit to put it bluntly

IT is the core system that lets the company function, no IT no company

Thats as true for the 20 man band I attend upto the mega-corps like Maersk.

If you are not treating IT as the core section of the business and consider it an incidental expense (like my manager did once*) then you deserve to have your company crash and burn

This should be drilled into every C level exec with a big mallet.

*His eureka moment arrived thanks to a dead PC containing 10 years worth of robot/cnc programs ...

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H-1B visa hopefuls, green card holders are feeling the wrath of 'America first' Trump

Boris the Cockroach
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WTF?

That

Soros bloke is a right tight ass

I've written dozens of anti-trump things and hes never paid me once...

Meanwhile back on the US visa thing.....

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I thought there'd be more Instagram: ICT apprenticeships down 20% in five years

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

People at parties don't expect car mechanics or scaffolders to solve their car/house problems for free."

You'd be surprised.

I can only add to that, that after revealing I work for an engineering company that some old duffer restoring his car/bike/lawnmower goes

"Oh can you make me 2 of these?"

After several of those requests and making them (and getting bitched at for taking too long) I now answer

"Sure, if you want 2 they will cost 2500 quid each, if you want 25 000 then the price will be about £1.50"

To wit the usual answer is "I can get 1 for 99p at Halfords" Cue banging head into wall.

But back to the topic..... dont bother with engineering either especially the down at the robot interface kind of BS I deal with.

Outsourcing, no wage rises... and a wage that barely even breaks 25k at the best of times (unless you like pulling night shifts or working 60 hr weeks year round)

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NHS OKs offshoring patient data to cloud providers stateside

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

If you write to

your MP about it, you'll just be regarded as another wack job out to ruin a great plan.

Hint : during the 'ban air soft guns' thing a few years ago, the government cited how easy it was to convert air soft guns to real ones.

I pointed out to our MP that a major gun manufacturer is based in the city and only 1/2 a mile from her office and that she could walk there and get expert advice within 10 mins.

Hello special branch......

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Crypto-cash exchange BitConnect pulls plug amid Bitcoin bloodbath

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

Re: Looking forward to the complete collapse of crypto-currencies

I'm another waiting for the bitcoin 'mining' shit to stop because I too want a 1080ti but cant afford the 750 quid it will cost.

Especially when I'll have 150 quid left for the rest of the pc at that price

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France to lend Brexit Britain sore souvenir of Norman yoke – the Bayeux Tapestry

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

In return

we're lending them the D-Day tapestry from the museum at Portsmouth .... you know cultural exchange and history and stuff

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Ecuador tried to make Julian Assange a diplomat

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

The bitter

irony is that if he'd stayed in Sweden in the first place , he'd be free now even if he had been convicted and sent to jail for 4 yrs...

Oh well, there are some folks who like digging themselves into a hole.......... then dig it deeper all by themselves....

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1 in 5 STEM bros whinge they can't catch a break in tech world they run

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

I'll believe

in equality between men and women when I see a woman doing the job some guys were doing lunchtime

Using a sewage truck to unblock a sewer..... and the guys did'nt look(or smell) pretty when they came up out of the hole....

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