* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1531 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Grooming habits... or lack thereof...

Quote:- On the other hand I know they are paying for that with a long, lingering and agnoising death so I hold my breath as best I can and limp past when I need to.

Best anti-smoking ad I've found was one night in the MAU at the local hospital(I was there with repeat chest pains) and there was a guy there about 60'ish sounding like he was drowning.... gurgle gurgle gurgle

Then a nurse would turn up and turn on the suction pump and he could breathe for a bit before going back to gurgling.

Should play that noise back to the kids who think smoking is cool with a note saying "this is how you'll die if you smoke"

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Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies

Boris the Cockroach
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Boffin

The power

output of the sun is rising (well its surface temperature is)

In about 1.5 billion years time it will be enough to get earth's average temp to about 60-70 degrees c..... at which point it stops raining and all the water in the oceans ends up in the atmosphere very rapidly.

This increases the green house effect and air pressure at the surface resulting in a runaway action and earth ends up like venus.

Surface temp 400c+, pressure 90bar+

Enough to fry all life... even Keith Richards

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Zero accidents, all of your data – what The Reg learnt at Bosch's autonomous car bash

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Its the edge cases

That will kill people

99.99% of the time, you're going along happy and cheerful, you've started off, joined a main route and now you've stopped at your destination without ever really having to be anything than an alert passenger

That 00.01% of the time, your pilot side pitot tube has had tape left on it and the aircraft software cant decide how fast you are going, never thinks to check the input from the co-pilot's side and your spiffy airbus does a nose plunge into the sea as the pilots cant decide what the hell the flight software is on about.

If aircraft flight control software can throw up that sort of glitch WITH all the testing that goes on, you've got f all chance of getting me inside one of those cars.

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May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Now I've woken up

and not in grumpy 1/2 asleep mode

I think the greatest sci-fi thing has got to be

Kerbal Space program..... for showing us mortals just how f***ing hard it is getting into space in the first place .....

Explosion icon...linked with KSP forever

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Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Re: Snowy

DS9 was a rip of B5 because JMS gave paramount the series outline when he was pitching it to the various studios....

Anyway thats what Bester told me to write

The corps is mother, the corps is father

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Virgin Media biz service goes TITSUP* across London

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: right! own up!

Bet it was the same 16 yr old that dug up Portsmouths cable connection a few years ago.....

What we really need to do is route 33Kv underground power feeds next to the critical internet connections

Then when the moron in the JCB gets into action, we're one moron less.....

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It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

Boris the Cockroach
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Childcatcher

Re: "I still don't understand why pseudo images are illegal."

Wont be long before owning pictures of the Sistine chapel will become illegal... all those nude little cherubs etc etc etc.

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Happy 4th of July: Norks tests another missile

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: "just gabbing on until..Norks have the ability to nuke the whole US and..free to invade SK.

Quote: They've probably got much more artillery,

And that the problem.. a shedload of short range missiles and 155mm artillery aimed at all the interesting targets south of the DMZ... like the South Korean capital

Hit that with some rockets loaded with VX and you're looking at 50 000 casualties before 30 mins have gone since declaring war.....

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Constant work makes the kilo walk the Planck

Boris the Cockroach
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Headmaster

Re: Confused

104.6 mm

<<is an injeerneer

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Fancy fixing your own mobile devices? Just take the display off carefu...CRUNCH !£$%!

Boris the Cockroach
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I can understand

making the device out of glue, impossible screws and general borking any attempt to change the screen/mb/case....... but why the need to glue the battery in and make that impossible to swap out too?

I mean the battery is the first component thats going to wear out (assuming you dont drop the thing)

And its full of ikky chemicals too..............

Or is it a scam designed to force us to buy the latest shiny when an easily replacable part goes titsup

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Virus (cough, cough, Petya) goes postal at FedEx, shares halted

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Well, MAYBE this will get their attention

Or more likely

an idiot user was using a work PC to do some personal business and a friend e.mailed him the virus

And dispite the big sign nailed to the moniter saying "dont open attatchments".....

or a USB stick with some music on it... or any one of 1/2 dozen ways the users get round the restrictions put on works computers to stop the bastards buggering everything up

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Blighty's first aircraft carrier in six years is set to take to the seas

Boris the Cockroach
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Gonna be nice

seeing a proper ship come into Portsmouth harbour for a change instead of these poxy 20 000 ton toy boats the Navy/ferry companies use at the moment.

Lets hope it does'nt get loose in high winds and end up in the still and west pub like the last big ship to leave Portsmouth :)

See HMS Vanguard

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Heaps of Windows 10 internal builds, private source code leak online

Boris the Cockroach
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Linux

Will

anyone from the open sauce area of expertise be going through the code looking for the bits of code lifted from linux et al and covered by the GPL .....

Imagine the fun that will start when the open sauce lawyers land on m$ with "cease and desist" leteers followed by "we're gonna drag you into court and sue the arse off you " letters....

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Doormat junk: Takeaway menus, Farmfoods flyer, NHS data-sharing letter... wait, what?

Boris the Cockroach
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Angel

Re: Your

I was unaware upvotes were a competition.....

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Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Your

opt out letter is on display... in a locked filing cabinet in a disused toilet with a sign on the door saying "beware of the leopard"

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Canadian sniper makes kill shot at distance of 3.5 KILOMETRES

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

I think the comment

from Accuracy international is needed here when it was asked about the previous best shot.

"Anything at that range is more down to luck than anything else"

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Scottish govt mulled scrapping £178m car-crash IT system

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Huh?

Because it was approved by the standing committe in charge of rural affairs, which has replaced all its members who made the decision with new members who have nothing to do with the previous members decision, while the previous members themselves have all joined other government and civil service committes and therefore cannot be repremanded as this would disrupt the current work the former committe members are engaged in their new roles for other committees.

As for sacking the former members of the rural affairs committee, we would be unable to do this as it would expose the government to the costs of unfair dismissal proceding, which if proved could be quite substantional.

Therefore we would have an inquiry into the failing of the rural affairs committee, with recommendations for the new members of the committe to follow while quietly allowing any former member of the committee to retire early on a full pension to avoid the need for an unfair dismissal proceding , then be re-hired as consultants to the commitee that they have already been moved to.

/Sir Humphrey mode off

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Google coughs up $5.5m to make recruiters 'screwed out of overtime pay' go away

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: ""Defendants deliberately and uniformly cheated plaintiffs "

whats the other 1/2 cover?

cheating shareholders/investers?

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BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Must stop

reading BoFH..... its giving me far too many bad ideas........

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Ofcom fines Three £1.9m over vulnerability in emergency call handling

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Because you

can survive not being able to call your nephew to congratulate him on passing his degree, but not a serious heart attack...

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DUP site crashes after UK general election

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: "Tory,Labour,LibDem (Against)"

Bollocks

The SNP ARE an nationalist party that just so happens to wear socialism as a cloak

Look what happens whenever theres a report about how badly the SNP/Green party are running Scotland

Its instant "Indyref2.. All the nasty englishes fault .... indyref2.... blame westminister ... did I say indyref2... oh I dint INDYREF2".... followed by "quick, someone call BBC scotland and make them put Braveheart on a continous loop"

Thats the snp.... nationalists to the core first and foremost, dont care about what happens to anyone else so long as they can get scotland out of the UK and then hold power for themselves.

Oh and if scotlands health service in in financial crisis...... just ask the SNP about that power they have to vary scotland's income tax rate from the UK wide one......... and why they dont use it.

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Cabinet Office minister Gummer loses seat as Tory gamble backfires

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

I had the misfortune

of finding wens and thurs copies of the sun* (they were in the emergency toilet paper dispenser)

Both editions were full of "JC is a terrorist supporting commie marxist Britian hating 2 faced barsteward"

And no sign of any explaining of the tory position apart from "god save the queen " and "may is wonderful"

With the amount of hate fired at JC, I'd begin to suspect he has the backers of such rags (and the daily wail/excess) worried in case he won and took their tax breaks away... and with that amount of hate, JC could have been worth voting for...

*I'd like to see some honesty in the media with the sun/wail/excess being renamed "Voice of the conservative party" or something...

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Walmart workers invited to shuttle packages

Boris the Cockroach
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Alert

Why am I reading

parts of that article in Cave Johnson's voice.

"Participation is voluntary... but only if your contract has the opt out clause"

"Our fulfillment centers are the safest fulfillment centers anywhere, and always needing more voluntary workers.."

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Trident nuke subs are hackable, thunders Wikipedia-based report

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: The weakest point ... ?

Quote:

Ah, a counterstrike. Yes, we could kill millions of civilians, none of whom had any responsibility for the original attack

Its why we aimed at Soviet cities... there was no point aiming at missile silos or airfields or naval bases because the targets would be long gone.

So you aim at the enemy infrastructure.... going to be damn hard claiming victory over the evil capitalist west when most of your major cities are smoking holes in the ground*

That was whole point of MAD, whatever you did to your enemy would land on you 30 mins later

Of course thats assuming that both sides are rational and care about what happens after you press the button.. when one side is glad to kill the unbelievers and is happy that so many of its own people will be on their way to paradise, then you have a problem....

* of course the smoking holes in the ground thing does lead to the great question of nuclear warfare

.... deciding WHICH smoking hole in the ground is the winner

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BA's 'global IT system failure' was due to 'power surge'

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Boots on the ground

Quote: Outsourcing it simply doesn't make sense.

It makes perfect sense

Outsource the IT support saving the company X millions.

Get a fat bonus as a reward.

Add that to your CV

Leave and join a.n.other company with the line "I saved x millions at my last job"

New company gives you x millions for being good

Previous company falls over due to IT support being worth as effective as an infinite number of monkeys

New company sweeps up all the previous companies customers.

You get another fat bonus

And decide to outsource your current employers IT op...... (and repeat until you can early retirement at 45)

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British prime minister slams Facebook and pals for votes

Boris the Cockroach
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Media editing

They're all at it...

I came across a story from the metro paper saying "UKIP want the death sentence for suicide bombers"

Where upon reading what the UKIP leader actually said you find out that she said nothing of the sort.

But hey ho, thats the media for you, never one to put their own bias on a story of course.

As for May and her "campaign to rid farcebook et al of extremist speech" where does extremist speech end and normal speech begin?

Who defines what is extremist?

How much mission creep will there be?

How much will the new laws be abused by the next generation of politicans.

After all, I could see an election won by the green party and they decide anyone supporting nuclear power or wanting discussion of global warming causes being labeled "an extremist" and carted off to jail after having their postings deleted.

The best way to fight extremists and their supporters is not to ban them and censor them (as many on the left want to do with the f***ing british nazi party and now May wants to do with so called muslim extremists) but to drag them out into the daylight and force them to discuss their views with people outside their own little circle of haters.

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UK ministers to push anti-encryption laws after election

Boris the Cockroach
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Looks like

I'm off to jail for writing a program that uses public/private key encryption, then sharing it with a a friend

We put up with the the IRA without this level of intrusion, hell we even fought off a bunch of facist nutters for 6 years then dumped all the regulations involved the day after we won....

A few extremist nutters are not goign to be that much of a threat... especially if they are ALREADY known to the security services......

And I'm not going to mention the guys who sent tip offs to the police hotline saying "Hey this guy is a nutter"

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Britain's on the brink of a small-scale nuclear reactor revolution

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: A complete non-starter

Yupp... and the reason?

The so called 'green' lobby with its obsession with windmills and solar... along with constant yelling of "Its not safe its not safe"

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Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

A complete non-starter

due to the so called 'green' people who see the word "Nuclear" and go into a complete meltdown.

And then theres the sort that see the exhaust from a gas station , compare it to the clouds of steam coming from a coal station, and decide coal is polluting the world....

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IT firms guilty of blasting customers with soul-numbing canned music

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Re: I hate Vivaldi because of BT

Halifax are another bunch with ****ing vivaldi....

But then it usually takes from spring to winter for the arseholes to answer the phone......

Oh yeah they also add "Your call is important to us" every 30 seconds too

I got so fed up I decided to give them 1 last call.... to tell them I was shutting the account....

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Project Gollum: Because NHS Caring means NHS Sharing

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: And another thing ...

Well I can see them putting the slogan on an huge billboard only to have it sink into the ground and read "Go stick your head in a pig"

We need a HHGTTG icon

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Blighty's buying another 17 F-35s, confirms the American government

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Appeal to armchair strategists

Who gives a shit what the daily mail thinks (its designed to sell to a certain frothing at the mouth kind of tory voter anyway)

In any case, apart from the whinges in the usual papers, we were quite happy to let 1/2 the russian fleet sail past last year.

And they had every right to, international water ways and all that and not being at war with us (or the french for that matter)

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Do we need Windows patch legislation?

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Holmes

What

I've been saying all along whenever the "Upgrade now" or "super whizzy windows" stories come along is

"What about us who have millions invested in safety critical stuff that runs on WinXp?"

You cant just 'upgrade' the PC to win10, install the drivers and hope it works because 10 times out of 10, it wont.

And the price of the kit is such that you need years to get back what you paid, and then make a profit.

For example, the factory next door to us bought them selves a spiffy new moulding machine , the price... about 500 000 pounds, now imagine that in 3 years time , m$ go fsck you we're not supporting your OS anymore , upgrade or else, and the machine is rendered useless.

Upgrading your desktop is easy , even throwing it out and buying a new one, but when the control is embedded and has to be proven to work......

As a side note, we have 4 windows powered machines, the manuals state "If the customer attempts to install updates to these machines, the supplier has no liability for any loss or damage that may result"

Possibly explains why we make sure the machines either have the Fanuc OS in them or the controls are based on Linux.....

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Why Microsoft's Windows game plan makes us WannaCry

Boris the Cockroach
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ANd yet

they had the patch ALREADY written before the NSA hack was leaked..............

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74 countries hit by NSA-powered WannaCrypt ransomware backdoor: Emergency fixes emitted by Microsoft for WinXP+

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Political SNAFU

If there was such an attack on the banks, the crooks would be had up against a wall and shot before you could say SMB bug.

Remember , the government only cares about money .. usually belonging to its political bribers... sorry donators.

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'Jaff' argh snakes: 5m emails/hour ransomware floods inboxes

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: Law enforcement??

Nope wont even be those

Until a major bank is hit and money siphoned out of rich political donators accounts, nothing will be done....

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UK hospital meltdown after ransomware worm uses NSA vuln to raid IT

Boris the Cockroach
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Black Helicopters

Re: Неверная цель, выключите ее

I'd suspect if they are found it will be a bunch of guys far more serious than a GCHQ code breaker knocking on the door.

I'd expect 1/2 the worlds special forces black ops groups are currently organising a list of who goes in first to kill the little shitheads.....

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RBS is to lay off 92 UK techies and outsource jobs to India – reports

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Re: Indian skills? What skills?

But just like everything else , you get what you pay for.

So if you outsource to an Indian code shop that will charge you £1 million for your project, you'll get a better quality product than an Indian code shop that will charge you £100 000.......

But then the beancounters will look at those 2 rates, choose the cheapest, then wonder why 16 million transactions have gone missing .....

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Rich professionals could be replaced by AI, shrieks Gartner

Boris the Cockroach
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Terminator

This is good news

But I dont believe it.

But then again , while doctors and other professionals maybe difficult to replace with an AI, replacing a lawyer with an AI will be a lot easier because they can leave out the ethics sub-module for a start and still get the same answer...........

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'Crazy bad' bug in Microsoft's Windows malware scanner can be used to install malware

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

What?

Surely you're shitting us with a buffer overflow bug?

after all the times winxp/vista/win7 got patched/owned because of buffer overflow bugs?

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Italian F-35 facility rolls out its first STOVL stealth fighter

Boris the Cockroach
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Joke

Should

have them made in France..... every time the germans look in their direction , they surrender ... ho ho ho and while we're on racial sterotypes....

Get them made in Britain and they'll go off for tea at 4pm before adopting a suspiciously upper class accent on the voice control software....

And gawd knows what the australian ones would be like.....

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Leaked: The UK's secret blueprint with telcos for mass spying on internet, phones – and backdoors

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Quick question

If I write an encryption program using open available public/private key algorithms, will I have to put in a backdoor to the software to let the government snoop on the messages?

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We are 'heroes,' says police chief whose force frisked a photographer

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Beware, Muggles! Beware! Turn in your neighbor!

-

Betray your friends and family!

Fabulous prizes to be won!

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Industrial plant robots frequently connected to the 'net without authentication

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Terminator

Air Gap!

Air gap

Air gap

And glue in the USB ports

My boss thinks I'm crazy , but one servo lag parameter changed... and you get the example in the video.

Actually a fun example would be changing the speed parameters for when the machine puts a thread in a hole, so instead of the efficent cutting it normally does, it "pulls" on the thread thus weakening the thread structure.... sounds tiny does'nt it....... but that thread is designed to take 50 lbs of force but now it couldn't manage 10 lbs.... and your brakes fall apart at 80mph when you press the pedal....

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Boffins gently wake the Large Hadron Collider from annual hibernation

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Excellent

Quote "Another step on the way to smashing a hole in reality."

Well that explains where trump came from.....

Just have to account now for t.may and various other assorted loonies in the house of commons....

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Gig economy tech giants are 'free riding' on the welfare state, say MPs

Boris the Cockroach
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Holmes

Its

Only because the government can see a fall in tax revenue as EVERYONE goes self employed status that they are starting to care about this

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BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Re: More murders than...

They are not murders, they are accidents, after all, if the dispatch manager in one of my old jobs managed to strangle himself with his own tie getting caught in the industrial cardboard shredder*, I'm sure its easy to for someone to fall out of a window during a meeting........

* PS he did survive.... curse that attentive admin drone and that easy access e-stop button.....

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Microsoft cracks open patch mega-bundles for biz admins, will separate security, stability fixes

Boris the Cockroach
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Linux

Hells bells

Is this a sign that m$ are listening to customer complaints instead saying "fuck you"

Or is it more of a sign that they're going to be releasing major updates to win10 every 6 months and dont want to completely piss everyone off all at once

In any case.. its too late here,... see icon

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Stanford Uni's intro to CompSci course adopts JavaScript, bins Java

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Introductory

Quote

My first exposure to OO was in VB5 - a really bad way to learn OO. I didn't really understand what was going on until I studied Smalltalk as part of an OU course. Easy to transfer those skills to C# and Java.

Dont tell me you suffered M206 and those f***ing frogs?

<<<also suffered the delights of Jean Bacon and M301... a rghhhhhhhghghghghhghggh

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Oh snap! UK Prime Minister Theresa May calls June election

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

I'm voting

Cthulhu

Why vote for a lesser evil?

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