* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1625 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

Why isn't digital fixing the productivity puzzle?

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Low productivity

wells that easy to understand and complain about.....people dont make enough money to spend or their jobs (zero hours contracts) dont reward them stabley enough to enable them to go out and spend..

Low wage also equal low motivation

But this is not the whole story, its not even 1/2 the story...

And heres the real reason for low productivity

Why bother investing in machines that can do 20 peoples work when you can hire 20 min wagers on ZHC for cheaper?

So instead of 1 person driving a truck pulling an automatic strawberry picker, you have 10 pickers working away.

Both pick 10 000 strawberries a day but by the magic of maths, 1 picker can only produce 10% of the truck driver... which equals low productivity.. especially if the pickers are in the UK and the truck driver is in Germany.....

But investment means risk... and you try explaining to the bank manager why he should loan you 250 000 quid for a machine to make fruit picking more efficient.... (or any other form of tech for that matter)

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Worldwide smartphone shipments DOWN for first time ever

Boris the Cockroach
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Only reason I have a J3 phone now is because my antique S2 has a dodgy power connector and I was down to 1 usb lead it worked with .....

But not bad for over 5 years constant use

Hope this one lasts as long...

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UK Home Sec Amber Rudd unveils extremism blocking tool

Boris the Cockroach
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WTF?

Re: Yay

WTF?

You been at my painkillers?

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Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Yay

the government has got the jihadies off the internet....

Now for the next enemy... how about the racists.........they're all evil too

Now for the next enemy...... those filthy commies (and fellow travellers) bet they're all upto no good

And the next enemy... cant have UKIP stoking the fires of nationalism....

And labour is a threat to the rightful rule of the tories... so we'll ban them

the pr0n is long gone thanks to the great firewall of great britian

So we're doomed to an internet of shopping sites that never pay tax here and cat videos..... and some of those cats look dodgey as fek..

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Let's get to know each other first: Joe Public won't share their data with just anyone

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

If the

public wants to make its data freely available online, then just contract equifax to store it.

Oh sorry not that sort of sharing

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Winter Olympics website downed by cyber attack

Boris the Cockroach
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Wont be Somalia, Piracy is a summer event

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No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Opiates

Depends on the drugs

Mine sometimes bung everything up... other times, I work from the smallest(and smelliest) room

But I'm left wondering why I give a shit about this when the suspect clearly doesn't

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Why aren't you being arbiters of truth? MPs scream at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Quote

N.B. We should have a talk like a Vorlon day....

You are not ready for such an event.

Back to the subject.

Who decides the the truth?

Is it the party MPs? how about the billionaire owners of print or television media?

Or how about using education to teach people that other people will lie to them especially in order to advance their own cause, and the best way to seek out the truth is not to listen only to what one side says, but to listen to all sides then make up your own mind.

But thats far too difficult... just get the plebs to chant "4 legs good, 2 legs bad"... until we decide 2 legs are better...

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Assange fails to make skipped bail arrest warrant vanish

Boris the Cockroach
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He skipped

bail ... end of

What it would mean to the criminal justice system with asshole winning would be

"Run from bail long enough and we'll drop charges"

Yeah.. great result for our leaker in chief and scourge of the corrupt western democracies

Hey some scumbags broken into my flat, nicked all my PC/camera gear and microwaved my kitten... oh thats a relife hes been arrested, charged and bailed.....and done a runner..... hey whats this.. because of asshat setting a precident, and mr scumbag being on the run for 5 years, mr scumbag is going to be let off.....

And as I've pointed out many a time here, Assange would have spent less time in jail if sent to Sweden and convicted than hes spent in the embassy......

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Open source turns 20 years old, looks to attract normal people

Boris the Cockroach
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Linux

Theres only

one reason I can think of that people run linux.

To avoid the clusterf**k that is microsoft 'software'

Sadly for everyone else, the old saying of "No one got fired for buying microsoft" still applies....

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Hey, you know what the internet needs? Yup, more industrial control systems for kids to hack

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: Blithering idiots.

Strangely, theres a video wandering about the internet somewhere about people hacking a CNC machine so that it machines ellipses instead of circles....

So lets take cheapo machine tool maker designing a safety circuit, the old days it would be a hardwired switch leading to a relay that fires the e-stop circuits... open the gate and the thing stops.

But switches, relays and wires cost money to install/maintain... lets just make it a magnetic sensor linked to the PLC. oh and put the machine on the internet so our service dept can remotely view the machine if the customer reports any problems.. cheaper than sending a repair guy.

You see where this is going?

Hacker breaks into the machine, alters the PLC ladder for the lolz, cleaning labourer is told to clean up ... opens the gate, machine does'nt stop, blood and guts everywhere....

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Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Blithering idiots.

When you're cleaning up the mess, can you make sure you bring a mop and bucket along with you.

Comes in handy for cleaning the body parts and blood off the robots/cnc machines...

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Capita contract probed after thousands of clinical letters stuffed in a drawer somewhere

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Meanwhile in NHS Tayside...

the local hospital here does cook-chill meals..........

Bland and horrible is how I'd describe them (when actually edible)

However Southampton has its own kitchens and does reasonable food..... but the catch is... the menu is the same everyday.. so by the time you've been there 5 days you've had everything on the menu......

Anyway... back to capita ... oops forgot the r there

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Crim-checker IT system update fail has cost UK taxpayer 'MEEELLIONS'

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Crapita involved............ say no more....

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Bring the people 'beautiful' electric car charging points, calls former transport minister

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Hmmmm so we need 37Gw of additional power generating capacity ...

I know... lets use wind power .... its only 25 000 wind turbines dotted around the contryside....

As for the stupidity of having to charge cars that are parked on street...... "well you could charge them at work" comes the bleat.... and I'm sure my boss would love that... having to put in charging points across our bit of concrete and paying for 20 cars to charge up...

Only real solution is hydrogen fuel... either combusted or in a fuel cell..... reasonably cheap and easy to use, and could be generated by any source of electrickery you care to mention..

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Thar she blows: Strava heat map shows folk on shipwreck packed with 1,500 tonnes of bombs

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Quote:

Hopefully a few of them have somehow floated towards westminster, that place needs a makeover

And congratulations on being Monday's winner to a visit from special branch

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Stop us if you've heard this one before: Tokyo crypto-cash exchange 'hacked' for half a billion bucks

Boris the Cockroach
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Thumb Down

Re: Portable gold

Quote

Gordon Brown cost us about £5 Billion when disposing of about 395 tonnes in Gold

If you're going to get political about it

How much tax gets evaded/avoided EVERY YEAR by companies using loopholes the tories refuse to plug....

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Ex-staffer sues UK's DWP, claims superior blabbed confidential medical info

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Quote:

Hint: I basically never have a day off work. I think my last sick-leave was about 8-10 years ago. Before that, it would be another 8-10 years. So if anyone was going to be upset about people malingering with illness, it should be me.

Well are'nt you the fucking lucky one.

I had'nt had a day of serious illness ever right to the age of 20 and 1 month(that includes school).

I then spent 3 days in ICU , followed by 6 months of learning to walk again.

Never ever be judgemental about something like illness in case it comes and bites you on the arse

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IT 'heroes' saved Maersk from NotPetya with ten-day reinstallation bliz

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: 20% drop going to manual

Quote: That's a good question and IT should always be prepared to justify their costs.

Horse shit to put it bluntly

IT is the core system that lets the company function, no IT no company

Thats as true for the 20 man band I attend upto the mega-corps like Maersk.

If you are not treating IT as the core section of the business and consider it an incidental expense (like my manager did once*) then you deserve to have your company crash and burn

This should be drilled into every C level exec with a big mallet.

*His eureka moment arrived thanks to a dead PC containing 10 years worth of robot/cnc programs ...

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H-1B visa hopefuls, green card holders are feeling the wrath of 'America first' Trump

Boris the Cockroach
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WTF?

That

Soros bloke is a right tight ass

I've written dozens of anti-trump things and hes never paid me once...

Meanwhile back on the US visa thing.....

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I thought there'd be more Instagram: ICT apprenticeships down 20% in five years

Boris the Cockroach
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People at parties don't expect car mechanics or scaffolders to solve their car/house problems for free."

You'd be surprised.

I can only add to that, that after revealing I work for an engineering company that some old duffer restoring his car/bike/lawnmower goes

"Oh can you make me 2 of these?"

After several of those requests and making them (and getting bitched at for taking too long) I now answer

"Sure, if you want 2 they will cost 2500 quid each, if you want 25 000 then the price will be about £1.50"

To wit the usual answer is "I can get 1 for 99p at Halfords" Cue banging head into wall.

But back to the topic..... dont bother with engineering either especially the down at the robot interface kind of BS I deal with.

Outsourcing, no wage rises... and a wage that barely even breaks 25k at the best of times (unless you like pulling night shifts or working 60 hr weeks year round)

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NHS OKs offshoring patient data to cloud providers stateside

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

If you write to

your MP about it, you'll just be regarded as another wack job out to ruin a great plan.

Hint : during the 'ban air soft guns' thing a few years ago, the government cited how easy it was to convert air soft guns to real ones.

I pointed out to our MP that a major gun manufacturer is based in the city and only 1/2 a mile from her office and that she could walk there and get expert advice within 10 mins.

Hello special branch......

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Crypto-cash exchange BitConnect pulls plug amid Bitcoin bloodbath

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

Re: Looking forward to the complete collapse of crypto-currencies

I'm another waiting for the bitcoin 'mining' shit to stop because I too want a 1080ti but cant afford the 750 quid it will cost.

Especially when I'll have 150 quid left for the rest of the pc at that price

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France to lend Brexit Britain sore souvenir of Norman yoke – the Bayeux Tapestry

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

In return

we're lending them the D-Day tapestry from the museum at Portsmouth .... you know cultural exchange and history and stuff

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Ecuador tried to make Julian Assange a diplomat

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

The bitter

irony is that if he'd stayed in Sweden in the first place , he'd be free now even if he had been convicted and sent to jail for 4 yrs...

Oh well, there are some folks who like digging themselves into a hole.......... then dig it deeper all by themselves....

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1 in 5 STEM bros whinge they can't catch a break in tech world they run

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

I'll believe

in equality between men and women when I see a woman doing the job some guys were doing lunchtime

Using a sewage truck to unblock a sewer..... and the guys did'nt look(or smell) pretty when they came up out of the hole....

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Here come the lawyers! Intel slapped with three Meltdown bug lawsuits

Boris the Cockroach
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Meh

Re: Should Intel (and other chip makers) be held responsible for hardware flaws?

Depends when they knew about it

If it can be shown that intel manglement knew about the bug and yet kept on baking/selling chips regardless then I'd suspect they wont have a leg to stand on

But the lights are on late at Intel HQ and that the nearest home office to them has just sold out of paper shredders.....alledgedly

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We translated Intel's crap attempt to spin its way out of CPU security bug PR nightmare

Boris the Cockroach
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Joke

Re: Late to the party

I dunno how many people saw your speculation pre-Tuesday but our articles this week are seven-figures in terms of page views.

-----

Which is great for the employees of el-reg as they can have the heating on all week and afford to go down the pub friday :)

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UK Foreign Sec Bojo to tell Kremlin: Stop your cyber shenanigans... or else!

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: What's happened to the UK?

de Gaulle had his own opinions about the british.

Mostly that the germans could be forgiven for waltzing into France and giving it a good kicking, but never forgive the British and Americans for saving it.

hence oddities like Paris keeps Berlin time.... whereas pre-1940 it kept London time...

As for our class system, thats very much a product of the attitude "If it aint from Oxbridge, dont employ it" among top employers and "Only managed a PPE? well politics for you then (and a fat non-exec directorship when you get caught/booted out after securing us a multi-billion public services contract)"

You want to get rid of our class system?.... shutdown the 'public' schools and make education based on children's ability(whether its in sports, technical subjects or theorectical physics)

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Ubuntu 17.10 pulled: Linux OS knackers laptop BIOSes, Intel kernel driver fingered

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

the

reason why they dont want to put ROM chips in for the bios is that they write such shit software for it anyway they wont be able to correct any bugs found during testing.

But there should be a factory reset switch on the danged things anyway..

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HMS Queen Elizabeth has sprung a leak and everyone's all a-tizzy

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: a leak?!

0603 HMS Asute sends the one word message "Archangel" to Northwood indicating 6 cruise missiles armed with tactical nuclear weapons have just hit the russian north fleet bases near Murmansk

0623 US sensors show multiple rocket launches across northern Russia

0632 US land based ICBMs take off from their bases

0633 everyone on the planet floods facebook with goodbye messages along with plenty of curse words.....

0645 see icon

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Hacks, bribes and bugs: Uber accused of illegal snooping on rivals

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Like I said before...

Quote: Hopefully government will just kill this monster and bury it deep in a radioactive toxic waste dump where it belongs.

Not radioactive.. as that tends to mutate and bring back to life anything buried in it

Or so my comic told me

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Brit film board proposed as overlord of online pr0nz age checks

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Meanwhile

in peado corner, the kiddy fiddlers will be downloading child pornography from private FTP servers which have nothing to do with google/bing/regular grumble sites....

And the first peado done after the new laws come in will be used as an example of "Our laws are failing.... tighten the bans!!" by the likes of the daily w(m)ail et al

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FREE zero-day for every reader: AT&T's DirecTV kit has a root hole – and no one wants to patch it

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

on the third day of Christmes my hacker gave to me , 3 spam bots , an update through flash and IE and a raid by the cops for hosting child pornography

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Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

On the first day of xmas my hacker gave me, a raid by the cops for hosting child pornography

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US authorities issue strongly worded warnings about crypto-investments

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Meanwhile....

You need to incorparate the 'nazi' algorithm into your Popcoin mining operation.

Then by using Godwin's law the number of coins you can mine will really take off

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Blighty flogs Qatar a bunch of missiles and Typhoon fighter jets

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Shipbuilding?

Us british have always had a fine tradition of selling quality arms to whoever wants them so long as

A. They're not fighting us

B. They're fighting someone else we dont like

C. We're selling arms to their enemy.

Prior to 1917 , the US was cheerfully selling materials to both sides in WW1, and it was only the blockade of Germany by us British that stopped the germans getting anything from there....

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Hackers' delight: Mobile bank app security flaw could have smacked millions

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: perhaps the banks must stipulate that only supported devices should be used.

Perhaps it would be better if in cases of fraud, the bank refunds the customer automatically instead of pushing the blame onto the customer

That way, the bank would stand to lose a shedload of money very quickly if their app security is bollocks.

But as far as the banks are really concerned, just like smart meters, they push the latest "Ohh shiny" onto the population , and we're dumb enough to use it, and when we lose money they fobb us off with "You must have shared your pin"

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Tired of despairing of Trump and Brexit? Why not despair about YouTube stars instead?

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

Re: Despair over Brexit and Trump?

Aiiiieiee my mind

Why did you have to post that speech.... you've caused irrerepairable damage to my precious brain cells.....

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Microsoft emergency update: Malware Engine needs, erm, malware protection

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Re: Wider issue

Its 2017 people...

If the above attack methods are how the malware get in.... how did the programmers of the 1990's( who were expert in never bothering to bounds check) escape into 2017 and write critical code for m$

This deserves this icon

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Europe Commission thunders: Tech firms must do more to remove extremist content

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Oh.. its for the terrorists..

And that wierdo allows his dog to shit on the grass too... that can be investigated too

I'd put a joke icon... but sadly its no joke

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Games-mart Steam halts Bitcoin payments

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: $20 per transaction fee

And gold actually exists.....

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Investigatory Powers Act: You're not being paranoid. UK.gov really is watching you

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

Quote:

So that's a threat to National Security and someone engaged in Left Wing sedition to MI5.

Yeah but to Mi5 we're all engaged in left wing sedition, (or right wing facism)

As far as Mi5 are concerned we're all upto something and they just need to find out what

"Give me 6 things said by any man and I'll find something to hang him with"

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Royal Bank of Scotland culls 1 in 4 branches, blames the interwebz

Boris the Cockroach
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Thumb Down

Re: Tood bad real life isn't like your imagination

Quote:

Looks like no one here has ever had to run a business. Hard choices have to be made.

Yeah whether to shut the banches, outsource all the IT to india and get a fucking obscene bonus, or carry on as they are and only get an obscene bonus

Thats what it really comes down to

Oh and in the first case , hope the bank doesn't go TITSUP before you've left with a fat golden handshake and arranged for all the money to be paid into another bank...

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UK.gov admits Investigatory Powers Act illegal under EU law

Boris the Cockroach
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Big Brother

6 months in prison..

Well looks like the "letting your dog shit on the grass" and "send your child to the wrong school" crowds are in for it then

Along with the rest of us

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Thou shalt use our drone app, UK.gov to tell quadcopter pilots

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

All I see here is

Whaa wha whaaaaa

I'm a good driver(reasonably good anyway), I bother with insurance, I got advanced driver training (from the plod no less), taking the drone operators arguement: the government is being mean to me for enforcing a 30mph speed limit on my local road where I'm perfectly safe to drive at 80mph and as for the motorways... I can safely do 150mph.

The laws aren't there for the responible drone operators, they are coming in for the complete dickheads who think it funny to take pictures through their neighbour's windows.. or want to get that crucial shot of a 747 landing at heathrow from above.....

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Abolish the Telly Tax? Fat chance, say MPs at non-binding debate

Boris the Cockroach
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For gawds sake

put the BBC on a subscription only service

At least that way those of us who want to watch its output can pay for it, and those of us who dont, wont.

And if they were serious about grabbing my money, they'd put as much of their archive on-line to watch as possible, instead of having to trawl pirate sites or youtube for low quality copies.

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Help desk declared code PEBCAK and therefore refused to help!

Boris the Cockroach
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Joke

Well these comments

just show one thing

Where the endless supply of fuck wits I have to put up with come from...................

<<<launches into a tirade about company recruitment policy.. IE snatch random people off the street

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New UK aircraft carrier to be commissioned on Pearl Harbor anniversary

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

Re: err... no

And the repair depot at Pearl.

Without that everything would have had to have been towed back to the US to be fixed

Oh and the Submarine base.

In fact theres quite a lot of stuff the Japanese missed.... but then that was supposed to be hit by the third attack wave...... which the Japanese admiral cancelled after reading the reports of the first 2 waves....

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Universal basic income is a great idea, which is also why it won't happen

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

UBI is the future

So long as we can prise those offshore millions into the tax system.

Putting it simply in my case, a UBI would allow me to quit my unloved job and sign on with the local university and finally finish my degree, and then I can go on and try things I might to try my hand at before Mr Grimm turns up to see me about some reaping.

With UBI , you'd see the end of crummy employers treating their min wage workers as disposable scum, why, because they'd be able to go and find other low skilled work where the employers treat them as human beings.

As for most people, we all want a better tv/car/holiday/house so we'd carry on working regardless, however with UBI , employers would only have to pay people like me £10k a yr instead of £25k

But as with all wonderful ideas to make the people happy, it falls over for exactly the same reason as pure capitalism or communism falls over... human nature and its desire to grab more resources for the individual regardless of other people

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