* Posts by Stefan

15 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

Bog builder pushes out poo-powered motorbike

Stefan
Joke

Crap Puns?

At 50mph its a bit quicker than a "pony" but definitely not like shit off a shiny shovel.

So no (bog)brush with the law for speeding.... I'd give it a "number two" out of ten.

Just wondering what you could squeeze out of it between refills too.

Right... off for an Eartha!!

Sixth of Britain's cellphones have traces of poo on them

Stefan
Go

Farticles anyone?

I elect never to use the cubicles at work as some of my IT peeps in my office have a diet that can cause some quite expoosive, not to mention, stinky outpoot. I think this is a common thing with IT.

And I always try and let someone else get the door on the way out.

Saying that, I do remember a brainiacs epoosode where they tested toothbrushes and that was very enlightening I have to say. So phones are just the tip of the poo-berg.

This comment coming to you from the crapper!

Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Stefan
Mushroom

Peasantphone vs jesusphone

The 3300 Android users...is that all of them? I'm just wondering how 11600 iphone users are acne sufferers being in the upper echelons of society like myself! Must have sneaked in on a 3 contract!!

Bring it!

Google brings out new programming language

Stefan
WTF?

Copyrights?

The English language will soon be awash with copyright words associated with some faceless multinational. If not Crapple, Microshit, blah blah need I go on... and now Google.

Hacker defaces Irish Catholic paper: 'Gotta love false hope'

Stefan
Devil

Python Moment

Meaning of Life anyone:-- "Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people. Avoid eating fat. Read a good book every now and then. Get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations."

I try to live by this code (except for the fat bit)... though I did cringe slightly when I walked around my sons school to be met with a cabinet of fossils and other prehistoric paraphanelia... labelled "The wonders of creation"!

Live and let live...

Apple sued in Apple TV wireless audio patent clash

Stefan
Coat

Early finish?

As this seems to be the last article of the day I must assume you are all down the pub getting plastered.

Nice one.

Have one for me chaps. Here's me wishing I could get me coat and join you.

Merry Christmas.

Royal Navy completes Windows for Submarines™ rollout

Stefan
Gates Horns

Bill Gates. Criminal Mastermind

This now confirms that Microshaft and Bill Gates are planning to take over the world in the style of Blofeld.

I for one welcome our backdoor enabled Sub controlling ex PFY multigazzillionaire overlord.

Forgotten what an egg looks like? We can help

Stefan
Paris Hilton

Not just in Keswick!

I opened my door lastnight just a little so I could have a sly fag (smoke) and was shocked to have an egg launched at me from behind my house. So it happens in HULL too! I bet it wasn't free range as I do live on an estate full of Netto shoppers!

Paris.... as I'd like to do something with her eggs and I bet she could get anyone to come out of their "shell"!

Hehe.. Its a cracker!

Virgin rejects $1m space sex offer

Stefan
Paris Hilton

ok....

so where do I audition and is Miss Bee up for it?

Paris.... coz she'd be up for it!!

Brits happy to hand over password details for £5 gift voucher

Stefan
Happy

Re: Shame on all of you..

Grow a sense of humour ya boring old fart. Never heard of a bit of fun? Obviously the statistics will be skewed and the people conducting the survey aren't idiots. They'll know that people will just be making up a password when it begins with "err" or "erm". Whatever i'd definitely make on up. Nice one Graham Wood!

Fancy a shattering ORG45M for £150k?

Stefan
Go

Thats my afternoon gone... thanks Lester

I am now looking for as many rude word reg's as poss all afternoon. Come on people... get on there and see whats available.

Cheers for that

DSGi profit plummets 30%

Stefan
Coat

Deja Vu?

I saw this coming years ago when I worked at Pissy World. I managed to get my ass outta Dodge and gave DSG the old spanish archer (el bow)!!

Heehee glad to see they're managing to go tits up.

Coat... coz I got my sweatshop produced PC World fleece and buggered off. I use it for painting in now.

The terror dam of doom that looms over Boise, Idaho

Stefan
Flame

What about old blighty?

Living in "The North", we have loads of those huge Gas Storage things kicking around. Surely a homemade device of some kind would do some damage to one of those? I bet when they're full they have lots of cubic acre-feet of gas in em. Enough to flatten a fair percentage of our modest northern towns.

Home Sec: British rings to be tightened against intrusion

Stefan
Thumb Down

@Glyn

I agree with that Glyn, most of the real coppers seem to spend half the time appearing on TV, sat in cars or doing paperwork. It seems that the Hobby coppers are the ones left out in the cold.

And society continues to turn into utter shit :-(

Brit apiarists demand £8m to save honeybees

Stefan
Coat

So whats the problem here?

Surely when our Goverment fails to save the bees, we can just get a load of our European Friends (i am one) to come over to hand pollinate every plant in the country.

Lets face it.... it probably beats harvesting lettuces and will probably cost a shedload less.

That'll take the sting out of the problem.

Mine's the Yellow and Black stripy costume accented with a bit of Spanish lingo a la The Simpsons.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR WEEKLY TECH NEWSLETTER

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020