* Posts by Elmer Phud

4287 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

How are you feeling today? Don't tell us, save for it this handy emotion-detection code

Elmer Phud
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As if....

I wonder if this latest version of a 'Doris'* can tell sarcasm or not?

*collective noun for mediums

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US prosecutors demand data to unmask every visitor to anti-Trump protest website

Elmer Phud
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IP addy's

If they are only looking fr IP addresses --I've just added another

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UK industry mouthpiece wants 'near-universal' broadband speeds of 30Mbps by 2020

Elmer Phud
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There is a great possibility that we will discover unicorn poo first

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Use cases please?

Give BT the same rights of access as the competitors have and I'd have BT FTTP, as it is they are prohibited from using existing access and have to go FTTC + O/H.

The competitors were given infrastructure on a plate and screwed it up by just wanting to control each other while constantly whinging about BT. About time things were levelled out and BT allowed access.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Use cases please?

If the playing field was level as far as 'sharing' goes, I'd have FTTP from BT.

as it is I'm FTTC + O/H and all because BT is not allowed to use the big pipe that runs right past my house.

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GoDaddy gives white supremacist site its marching orders after Charlottesville slur

Elmer Phud
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Re: couldn't happen

It doesn't matter what happens, anything will be twisted to show they are martyrs for the cause.

Over here, Brittin Furzsts lead clowns are desperate to get nicked again, they love to be 'persecuted'. "Look, look what the big nasty man is doing to us patriots!!"

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Old Firefox add-ons get 'dead man walking' call

Elmer Phud
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Re: I'd like to know how to revert "coloured bookmark folders" in FF 55.0.1...

change it

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Corporate criminal tax offences likely to further increase HMRC's use of dawn raids, says expert

Elmer Phud
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Yeah, Yeah --and???

Numbers of raids are up - no indication of the number charged or any convictions.

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New Amiga to go on sale in late 2017

Elmer Phud
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Re: Just remember...

And that just about everybody was using the same copy of Cubase

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70% of Windows 10 users are totally happy with our big telemetry slurp, beams Microsoft

Elmer Phud
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Re: Interpretation

Or: "I'm not fiddling around with things I don't know" ?

I am the one who goes round and turns off all the 'useful' stuff on W10 for my mates, most have no experience with computers other than the 'keyboard, mouse, screen' experience. They are scared of screwing up and wrecking things.

I'm happy with 'turn almost all of it off, if anything really needs access it will ask'.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: spends most of its time updating

Soooooo . . . .

Someone who has yet to set up W10 then.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Most People

just WTF's wrong with WOW or FaceAche?

O.K. you don't like them, not everyone jumps in with all ports blazing and blindfolds on.

I wonder how much data is spunked out all over the place by those who are so bloody smug.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: MSFT and Facebook

ISTR that data collection has been around a hell of a lot longer than either FaceAche or Microsoft or Google or or or . . .

It would be preferable if you could name ALL the guilty parties, thanks love.

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FBI's spyware-laden video claims another scalp: Alleged sextortionist charged

Elmer Phud
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Gawd bless Media Player

Well, if people will use Media Player . . .

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For fork's sake! Bitcoin Core braces for another cryptocurrency split

Elmer Phud
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Strong? Stable?

Bit Coin was to be the big one -- proper unicorn poo and all that.

But as usual with money, others want a bigger slice each time and eventually the the cake gets so divided that crumbs are more important than the original ethos of cryptocurrency.

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UK ministers' Broadband '2.0' report confuses superfast with 10Mbps

Elmer Phud
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Wii lthe real Grant Shapps please stand up, please stand up

Not one known for anything other than desperate clean-up operations and a half-hearted whine at Tesco for moving from his patch --this preening fool was given a simple job and once again displays his complete and utter lack of knowledge about anything

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Moneysupermarket fined £80,000 for spamming seven million customers

Elmer Phud
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The adverts are shite, too.

Looking at the list of characters on Wiki we find this gem:

"Fisto is an extra-strong warrior with an enlarged metal right hand."

yes, well, as long as Lubo turns up as well then we'll be fine.

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Authorities go hard on coffee maker for stiff Viagra-powered brew

Elmer Phud
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drooping sales?

re-badged 'willy-med' to meet demands for coffee

it's just the marketing

(it's like calling redbush 'tea' ffs!)

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Security robot falls into pond after failing to spot stairs or water

Elmer Phud
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A picture tells . . .

. . . a story of a bloke in white wellies (not really a medical job this) and another with a control box.

But all around are pissing themselves laughing at yet another managerial 'wonder-decision'.

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2017: The FBI alerts parents to dangers of Internet of Sh*t toys

Elmer Phud
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Re: Now if only most parents actually knew what most of those words mean

SBUR

Such bollocks, unfortunately read.

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Radiohead hides ZX Spectrum proggie in OK Computer re-release

Elmer Phud
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Flashing screen, crap everywhere ---

--bollocks, reload, again!

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Virgin Media biz service goes TITSUP* across London

Elmer Phud
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Is it because they is contractors?

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Won't be the last...

Fibre or fat cable -- both tend to have similar effects when faced with a JCB driver on Red Bull and a tight price.

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Fresh cotton underpants fix series of mysterious mainframe crashes

Elmer Phud
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Static Shuffle

Oh, the fun while on a hell-desk with polywotsit carpet.

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle - towards a colleague who is on call to a customer.

Finger to tip of other ear from earpiece, prizes only awarded for them not flinching, swearing etc.

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NHS WannaCrypt postmortem: Outbreak blamed on lack of accountability

Elmer Phud
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Unhappy

Rules is rules

while the frontline staff have to account for every single item used and often have nowhere to put new cases, accountability elsewhere up the food chain seems lacking.

Homeopathic Health Minister leads to homeopathic management - all eyes on the minutest detail but ignore the wider picture

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'Bio-hacker' embeds public transport ticket under his skin

Elmer Phud
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Repairs?

My card has just lost its ability to 'touch and go'.

I need to replace it.

at least I won't need a scalpel

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The 'DUP' joins El Reg’s illustrious online standards converter

Elmer Phud
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Welll . . .

. . I'll be buggered!

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UK's Ministry of Fun considers what to tell social media firms about online bullying

Elmer Phud
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WTF?

Well, bully for them

Is this the same HM.Gov that has just put on the gimp suit for the Paisley Party?

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Researchers blind autonomous cars by tricking LIDAR

Elmer Phud
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Drive-by booting

As one who has managed this while negotiating London's traffic on a bicycle, it takes a lot of internal processing to judge the correct lean angle that counters the reaction from the kick (best aimed at thin panels).

A motorcycling mate has a denim jacket with Kevlar inserts and stiffening - he just clotheslines the mirrors instead.

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Elmer Phud
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Pirate

It's Party Time!!!

The Spoofing method could be much cheaper by use of readily available 'glitter cannons' it seems to me.

(Not, of course, that I would in any way advocate such actions being undertaken.)

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Has riddle of the 1977 'Wow!' signal finally been cracked? Maybe...

Elmer Phud
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Roll up, roll up

Laydeez an gennelmen,

We bring you one shit-load of conspiracy theories, 'space tech cover up', 'Illuminati keeps us dumb' etc, etc. as those who look towards the stars for salvation have yet another route closed.

I guess it's back to the 'dolphin speakers' and 'alien contactors' to get back to work (there's a flock to be fleeced).

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I fought Ohm's Law and the law won: Drone crash takes out power to Silicon Valley homes

Elmer Phud
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Is it really . . .

. . . that easy to take out so many Tesla chargers?

Hmm, urban pranking goes large.

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Windows 10 Creators Update preview: Lovin' for Edge and pen users, nowt much else

Elmer Phud
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Re: Fall Creators Update

I'm quite happy with the 'broken abortion' (how quaint), especially as I never used 7.

I hear moans and whines but never any detail, not that it would bother me.

It doesn't matter in M$ came out with a flawless, faultless O/S there would be a huge queue of people ready to diss it as it doesn't exactly fit like an old pair of slippers . Yeah ,like you buy a new car that is exactly the same as the old one?

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DUP site crashes after UK general election

Elmer Phud
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to coin a phrase

They are Orangemen.

They all look the same to me.

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White-box webcam scatters vulnerabilities through multiple OEMs

Elmer Phud
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IoT misnamed?

Shirley by now it should be 'I own Twats' as the number of wide -pen devices seems to multiply rather than diminish.

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UK PM May's response to London terror attack: Time to 'regulate' internet companies

Elmer Phud
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The Grate Dicktater

So, because 'we haven't a clue' the answer is to 'lock it all down'.

Maysolini strikes again.

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Walmart workers invited to shuttle packages

Elmer Phud
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SlaveMart

I expect Walmart to sack anyone who refuses to do drops.

As it's 'on the way home' do the workers expect to be paid for this?

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Elmer Phud
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Re: Nope, nothing to see here

Uber are mere babes compared to Walmart's expertise in screwing employees.

just thinking 'Union' at Walmart will have you trailed 24/7.

ASDA staff are to be issued with new fully insulated jackets so they deliver chilled goods, too.

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Utah fights man's attempt to marry laptop

Elmer Phud
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Laptop dancing

I have a couple of old lappies here, they may have met this man already as they are well fucked.

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Elmer Phud
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Re: It takes two to tango

O.K. Google . . .

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Elmer Phud
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Try a 10 inch floppy.

We had much bigger ones in the old days.

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Elon to dump Trump over climate bump

Elmer Phud
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Hmm,

It's almost as if the Donald has got his deniers out already.

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WannaLaugh? Funsters port WannaCrypt to Commodore, Cisco, Nintendo and Tesla

Elmer Phud
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Re: Cisco Phone

Bloody anaoraknaphiles.

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British prime minister slams Facebook and pals for votes

Elmer Phud
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Are we forgtting something?

Other than the fact that May would shit on a kitten if she thought there was a vote in it, it seems that it's fine for right-wing groups to re-post old videos of stoning, whipping and beheading, while also gleefully posting pics of overflowing and sinking lifeboats with comments such as 'never teach a Muslim to swim', 'one less potential terrorist', 'shoot the fuckers while they are in the water' etc. etc, while also claiming to be 'compassionate Christians'.

We are not buying this shit. from KKKippers, biffers etc.

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Blighty bloke: PC World lost my Mac Mini – and trolled my blog!

Elmer Phud
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Re: Why oh why

Cables PW Wonk

"Have you got a HD to DVA cable?"

'Certainly' (sounded like 'what?!)

eventually finds one -- Look at price

'fourteen quid?. Your firm's taking the piss, mate''

CPC £1.50 (or was it cheaper?)

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16 terabytes of RAM should be enough for anyone. Wait. What?

Elmer Phud
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Re: Just imagine

That's a lot of real estate in Speccy 16k RAM packs

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Volvo is letting Android 'take over underlying car software' – report

Elmer Phud
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Grinder

"Like the driver on your left? Just side-swipe to let them know"

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Lib Dems pledge to end 'Orwellian' snooping powers in manifesto

Elmer Phud
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The stable is empty

The smell of rotting flogged horse is strong.

Turkeys seem to like the xmas trimmings and glitter but forget the true meaning of dinner.

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Elmer Phud
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Further back

Oh, much further than that.

Much, much further.

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Have a go with this WW2 German Lorenz cipher machine – in your browser

Elmer Phud
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Timely

I just happen to be reading Neal Stephenson's 'Cryptonomicon' at the moment.

This fits in rather nicely

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