* Posts by Elmer Phud

4305 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

BoJo, don't misuse stats then blurt disclaimers when you get rumbled

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

The closest thing to a . . .

. . . Donald that we have?

Never, ever admit any wrongdoing or errors ever.

It is always everyone else who hasn't quite got it.

Please - no PM job for him -- London has yet to recover.

At least in his current main job he is regarded as a twat by the rest of the planet.

30
3

Black screen of death after Win10 update? Microsoft blames HP

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

maybe

maybe somewhere along the routine of disabling HP's little helpers on a new machine I managed to avoid this.

8
0

A todger, a 2.5kg dumbbell, the fire brigade... and the inevitable angle grinder

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: C'mon just think

Nah, 'The man who shags metal rings' just doesn't add that air of mystery.

1
0

Downloaded CCleaner lately? Oo, awks... it was stuffed with malware

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Wise Care and Kasperski installed but...

".. still CC Cleaner managed to find it's way onto the system after only a day with the customer."

It takes a click or two to do it -- AFAIK it needs help to get there.

1
0
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Yup, I didn't get round to updating on this machine (everything is set to ask - not update).

But it's been a vital tool for quick cleans of friend's machines where years and years of basic usage has ended up with more detritus to wade through than actual useful stuff.

Progs installed, uninstalled, half-installed, failed installs -- all sorts of backyard junk, plus the never ending 'temp' files.

Usually Ccleaner then Malwarebyes - maybe the other way round next time?

6
0
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

"If they really worked, then a second run should not find anything to do."

CCleaner tends to do that.

Running stuff on W98 and trying to compare with today is not exactly the same is it?

Things tend to change a bit.

(and who didn't have a 98 boot floppy to get XP users up and running again?)

4
0
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Doesn't matter

Rubbish, it is a great bit of kit to help clean up a new machine.

I've found MCAfee on machines with no sign of it in the Windows list of progs, yet with CCleaner it was there --and all the little other supposed 'essentials' that need to be removed or disabled to make life worth living.

And a reg clean-up is needed now and them with Windows - even just to remove file associations with SW you will never even install.

8
3

Rise Of the Tiny Machines: Boffins cook up autonomous DNA sorting robot

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

I bow down to our new . . . .

Shit, I can't even see them!

5
0

SpaceX releases Pythonesque video of rocket failures

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

I swore

That last clip, it comes in at quite a rate then sorts it all out very fast.

"Oh, do fuck off!" Says I in awe and respect.

AI's do work -- they work rather well without our meddling.

Mr Hawking - be very afraid.

Keep up with the naming system, please.

The best legacy to Iain.M.Banks I can think of.

6
0

'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

That'll confuse users

So many people say their browser is 'Google' as they have never changed the homepage.

For them, going to Google to then go to Google search is how they run.

It's al Google to them.

6
0

Totally uncool California bureaucrats shoot down drone weed delivery

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

And always being held up by desperadoes or D.H. Lawrence.

0
0

The bigger the drone, the bigger the impact

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Cargo culture?

We just need a cargo net to catch drones in . . .

0
0

Sci-Fi titan Jerry Pournelle passes,
aged 84

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

How I will NOT miss those endless 'Reds under the bed' 'Reds are coming' books that persuaded Regan to have Niven and Pournelle in as 'scientific advisors' (FFS!)

3
12

Virginia scraps poke-to-vote machines hackers destroyed at DefCon

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Ebay

Cheap voting machines now available.

Maximise your voting potential for those tricky elections.

No more 'cliff-hangers', no more votes going the wrong way.

Get them now, UK general election on the horizon (Again), keep Britain Conervative!

4
1

Facebook's music plans mean you'll never leave Facebook

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Have you got a FaceBook page for it?

29
0

'Open and accessible' spambot server leaks 711 million records

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

And still they claim:

"I've been hacked!"

No, you've been a lazy twat, is all.

0
0

Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

?

No reference to VLC builds having Discworld-related names?

3
0

Judge: You can't call someone a c*nt, but a C∀NT is a cunning stunt

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: As we know..

Do we have any 'jokes' from the more recent past?

From the 1800's maybe?

(or are we forgetting the crims were unwanted Brits?)

9
1

How are you feeling today? Don't tell us, save for it this handy emotion-detection code

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

As if....

I wonder if this latest version of a 'Doris'* can tell sarcasm or not?

*collective noun for mediums

2
0

US prosecutors demand data to unmask every visitor to anti-Trump protest website

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

IP addy's

If they are only looking fr IP addresses --I've just added another

6
1

UK industry mouthpiece wants 'near-universal' broadband speeds of 30Mbps by 2020

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

There is a great possibility that we will discover unicorn poo first

1
0
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Use cases please?

Give BT the same rights of access as the competitors have and I'd have BT FTTP, as it is they are prohibited from using existing access and have to go FTTC + O/H.

The competitors were given infrastructure on a plate and screwed it up by just wanting to control each other while constantly whinging about BT. About time things were levelled out and BT allowed access.

1
0
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Use cases please?

If the playing field was level as far as 'sharing' goes, I'd have FTTP from BT.

as it is I'm FTTC + O/H and all because BT is not allowed to use the big pipe that runs right past my house.

0
0

GoDaddy gives white supremacist site its marching orders after Charlottesville slur

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: couldn't happen

It doesn't matter what happens, anything will be twisted to show they are martyrs for the cause.

Over here, Brittin Furzsts lead clowns are desperate to get nicked again, they love to be 'persecuted'. "Look, look what the big nasty man is doing to us patriots!!"

11
1

Old Firefox add-ons get 'dead man walking' call

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: I'd like to know how to revert "coloured bookmark folders" in FF 55.0.1...

change it

1
5

Corporate criminal tax offences likely to further increase HMRC's use of dawn raids, says expert

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Yeah, Yeah --and???

Numbers of raids are up - no indication of the number charged or any convictions.

2
0

New Amiga to go on sale in late 2017

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Just remember...

And that just about everybody was using the same copy of Cubase

14
0

70% of Windows 10 users are totally happy with our big telemetry slurp, beams Microsoft

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Interpretation

Or: "I'm not fiddling around with things I don't know" ?

I am the one who goes round and turns off all the 'useful' stuff on W10 for my mates, most have no experience with computers other than the 'keyboard, mouse, screen' experience. They are scared of screwing up and wrecking things.

I'm happy with 'turn almost all of it off, if anything really needs access it will ask'.

11
2
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: spends most of its time updating

Soooooo . . . .

Someone who has yet to set up W10 then.

4
9
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Most People

just WTF's wrong with WOW or FaceAche?

O.K. you don't like them, not everyone jumps in with all ports blazing and blindfolds on.

I wonder how much data is spunked out all over the place by those who are so bloody smug.

2
13
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: MSFT and Facebook

ISTR that data collection has been around a hell of a lot longer than either FaceAche or Microsoft or Google or or or . . .

It would be preferable if you could name ALL the guilty parties, thanks love.

1
4

FBI's spyware-laden video claims another scalp: Alleged sextortionist charged

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Gawd bless Media Player

Well, if people will use Media Player . . .

3
1

For fork's sake! Bitcoin Core braces for another cryptocurrency split

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Strong? Stable?

Bit Coin was to be the big one -- proper unicorn poo and all that.

But as usual with money, others want a bigger slice each time and eventually the the cake gets so divided that crumbs are more important than the original ethos of cryptocurrency.

3
0

UK ministers' Broadband '2.0' report confuses superfast with 10Mbps

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Wii lthe real Grant Shapps please stand up, please stand up

Not one known for anything other than desperate clean-up operations and a half-hearted whine at Tesco for moving from his patch --this preening fool was given a simple job and once again displays his complete and utter lack of knowledge about anything

10
0

Moneysupermarket fined £80,000 for spamming seven million customers

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

The adverts are shite, too.

Looking at the list of characters on Wiki we find this gem:

"Fisto is an extra-strong warrior with an enlarged metal right hand."

yes, well, as long as Lubo turns up as well then we'll be fine.

9
1

Authorities go hard on coffee maker for stiff Viagra-powered brew

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

drooping sales?

re-badged 'willy-med' to meet demands for coffee

it's just the marketing

(it's like calling redbush 'tea' ffs!)

0
0

Security robot falls into pond after failing to spot stairs or water

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

A picture tells . . .

. . . a story of a bloke in white wellies (not really a medical job this) and another with a control box.

But all around are pissing themselves laughing at yet another managerial 'wonder-decision'.

12
0

2017: The FBI alerts parents to dangers of Internet of Sh*t toys

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Now if only most parents actually knew what most of those words mean

SBUR

Such bollocks, unfortunately read.

1
0

Radiohead hides ZX Spectrum proggie in OK Computer re-release

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Flashing screen, crap everywhere ---

--bollocks, reload, again!

2
0

Virgin Media biz service goes TITSUP* across London

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Is it because they is contractors?

2
0
Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Re: Won't be the last...

Fibre or fat cable -- both tend to have similar effects when faced with a JCB driver on Red Bull and a tight price.

6
0

Fresh cotton underpants fix series of mysterious mainframe crashes

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Static Shuffle

Oh, the fun while on a hell-desk with polywotsit carpet.

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle - towards a colleague who is on call to a customer.

Finger to tip of other ear from earpiece, prizes only awarded for them not flinching, swearing etc.

14
0

NHS WannaCrypt postmortem: Outbreak blamed on lack of accountability

Elmer Phud
Silver badge
Unhappy

Rules is rules

while the frontline staff have to account for every single item used and often have nowhere to put new cases, accountability elsewhere up the food chain seems lacking.

Homeopathic Health Minister leads to homeopathic management - all eyes on the minutest detail but ignore the wider picture

0
0

'Bio-hacker' embeds public transport ticket under his skin

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Repairs?

My card has just lost its ability to 'touch and go'.

I need to replace it.

at least I won't need a scalpel

2
0

The 'DUP' joins El Reg’s illustrious online standards converter

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Welll . . .

. . I'll be buggered!

2
0

UK's Ministry of Fun considers what to tell social media firms about online bullying

Elmer Phud
Silver badge
WTF?

Well, bully for them

Is this the same HM.Gov that has just put on the gimp suit for the Paisley Party?

4
0

Researchers blind autonomous cars by tricking LIDAR

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Drive-by booting

As one who has managed this while negotiating London's traffic on a bicycle, it takes a lot of internal processing to judge the correct lean angle that counters the reaction from the kick (best aimed at thin panels).

A motorcycling mate has a denim jacket with Kevlar inserts and stiffening - he just clotheslines the mirrors instead.

0
1
Elmer Phud
Silver badge
Pirate

It's Party Time!!!

The Spoofing method could be much cheaper by use of readily available 'glitter cannons' it seems to me.

(Not, of course, that I would in any way advocate such actions being undertaken.)

1
1

Has riddle of the 1977 'Wow!' signal finally been cracked? Maybe...

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Roll up, roll up

Laydeez an gennelmen,

We bring you one shit-load of conspiracy theories, 'space tech cover up', 'Illuminati keeps us dumb' etc, etc. as those who look towards the stars for salvation have yet another route closed.

I guess it's back to the 'dolphin speakers' and 'alien contactors' to get back to work (there's a flock to be fleeced).

8
0

I fought Ohm's Law and the law won: Drone crash takes out power to Silicon Valley homes

Elmer Phud
Silver badge

Is it really . . .

. . . that easy to take out so many Tesla chargers?

Hmm, urban pranking goes large.

3
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017