* Posts by Elmer Phud

4244 posts • joined 3 Mar 2008

British prime minister slams Facebook and pals for votes

Elmer Phud

Are we forgtting something?

Other than the fact that May would shit on a kitten if she thought there was a vote in it, it seems that it's fine for right-wing groups to re-post old videos of stoning, whipping and beheading, while also gleefully posting pics of overflowing and sinking lifeboats with comments such as 'never teach a Muslim to swim', 'one less potential terrorist', 'shoot the fuckers while they are in the water' etc. etc, while also claiming to be 'compassionate Christians'.

We are not buying this shit. from KKKippers, biffers etc.

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Blighty bloke: PC World lost my Mac Mini – and trolled my blog!

Elmer Phud

Re: Why oh why

Cables PW Wonk

"Have you got a HD to DVA cable?"

'Certainly' (sounded like 'what?!)

eventually finds one -- Look at price

'fourteen quid?. Your firm's taking the piss, mate''

CPC £1.50 (or was it cheaper?)

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16 terabytes of RAM should be enough for anyone. Wait. What?

Elmer Phud

Re: Just imagine

That's a lot of real estate in Speccy 16k RAM packs

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Volvo is letting Android 'take over underlying car software' – report

Elmer Phud

Grinder

"Like the driver on your left? Just side-swipe to let them know"

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Lib Dems pledge to end 'Orwellian' snooping powers in manifesto

Elmer Phud

The stable is empty

The smell of rotting flogged horse is strong.

Turkeys seem to like the xmas trimmings and glitter but forget the true meaning of dinner.

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Elmer Phud

Further back

Oh, much further than that.

Much, much further.

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Have a go with this WW2 German Lorenz cipher machine – in your browser

Elmer Phud

Timely

I just happen to be reading Neal Stephenson's 'Cryptonomicon' at the moment.

This fits in rather nicely

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Trump signs executive order on cybersecurity, White House now runs the show

Elmer Phud

So . . .

The tiny hand wrecks the cradle.

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Try not to scream: Ads are coming to Amazon's Alexa – and VR goggles

Elmer Phud

Re: NO!

Now, now.

Where the hell is the 'high-tech' in basically an answerphone connected to a server and appearing to be far, far more intelligent than it really is -- just another 'speech to - - -' device.

BUT give it a female name, a female voice and the stupid humans anthropomorphise like mad.

Then they give it attributes it has never had.

Mugs!

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Elmer Phud

Re: Why Do They Persist....

You ain't that special . . .

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Elmer Phud

Re: Pass

I am awaiting the complaints.

When one installs a device from a company that loves trackers etc. spams inboxes etc. does one expect a halcyon existence without 'recommendations'?

'Recommendations' that can only increase with the building of a user or family profile.

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Fake ruse: USA Today calls the FBI after half of its 15m Facebook Likes turn out to be bogus

Elmer Phud

Why is this the fault of FB?

Odd that so many seem to say it' all down to FB.

I wonder how many people who are Reg readers also have dozens of sock puppets, chuckaway email accounts, etc.etc. but it's fine for them to use them?

anyway that 's a lot of pairs of sunglasses

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10

Facebook is abusive. It's time to divorce it

Elmer Phud

Really?

"But only because we were yet to understand that everything we entered was recorded by Facebook, all of it analysed, all of it compared against everyone else sharing all of their personal trivialities."

Izzat so?

No we didn't we thought 'It's free, therefore there's a catch to it' and we looked at the T&C's.

We understood with the structure of 'free' games that it it was a data gatherer that sold data for others to work at.

We didn't think 'Oooh, look what the kind fairies have brought us''.

5
3

Windows 10 S forces Bing, Edge on your kids. If you don't like it, get Win10 Pro – Microsoft

Elmer Phud

Cheapskates

so many comments - but forty quid isn't much.

Certainly one table full of drinks, not a complete meal for one, 80 cigs, two knee-tremblers etc.

Ad with a push in September for the student market this might be the chance of getting a touch-screen lappy with W10 pro for a decent discount.

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UK.gov throws hissy fit after Twitter chokes off snoop firm's access

Elmer Phud

Aaaaaaand what would replace it, oh worthy overlord?

FB Live?

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Elmer Phud

python and witches

yeah but, no but, yeah but - I cannot see any of our current coven actually owning up that they have screwed up big time or know completely bugger all.

No 'It's a fair cop' from this lot.

3
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Elmer Phud

Re: depressing...

'Terrorists' are even much, much better at wielding a mouse than Rudd.

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Elmer Phud

Re: Not to put too fine a point on it...

Shirley it was that global expert on cheese and pork - Liz Truss, our Minister for 'Social Justice (oh, oxymorons abound)

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Ewe, get a womb! Docs grow baby lambs in shrink-wrap plastic bags

Elmer Phud

good idea

One of my girls was very premature via emergency caesarian.

The fears were that she wouldn't get the final 'booster shot' via the placenta that is vital for early development.

She had medication (while in the womb) to try and advance lung development and other last minute tweaks - she managed to breathe OK, early oxygen was a concern as it can bugger up sight development, various issues had to be dealt with as some hormones etc.did not get delivered by the time she had to come out.

The idea of keeping development contained to allow better maturity before birth is a great idea -- if nothing else it will save huge amounts of money and resources currently needed in fire-fighting for the first few months.

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While Facebook reinvents Sadville, we still dream of flying cars

Elmer Phud

And . . .

If it only has flying rainbow cats and no flying penises -- -what's the point of it?

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Elmer Phud

Transvision Vamps?

How come all the talking heads often appear to have fangs?

Is this the final verification for the anti-Zuck fans who constantly whine on about 'global domination'?

2
1

Gov wants to make the UK the 'safest place in the world to go online'

Elmer Phud

Re: Cynics unite

My kids had no restrictions to their access.

they were taught the basics 'if it looks too good to be true - it ain't', 'if you don't like it, leave the page - if it's really bad let me know, (no judgements)', 'trolls are easy to spot' etc.

One was on on Habbo Hotel (oh, these fools have no idea how it was back then) and said that someone she'd not met or chatted to before was busy being chatty and asking her to 'download a cool game'.

I explained to her what was going on and that I wanted to to some screen grabs as proof so she threw out a shiny lure and started reeling him in by asking innocent questions about the 'game'.

Eventually he twigged and she let him know that we'd got info on his user name and several screen shots which we were sending to Admin.

Dunno if it did anything other than make him change his underwear but as an educational tool it was priceless.

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Elmer Phud

Arrr, ye've got a woman's scarf, so ye have

8
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Elmer Phud

Re: Two words spring to mind...

'cos there's always a queue of people waiting to pop it?

4
0

HSBC Business internet banking goes TITSUP*

Elmer Phud

Re: what if...

Because some of us are not like the Donald.

'Bad Twitter! naughty Twitter! Fake Twitter NOT NICE!!!'

0
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A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun

Elmer Phud

Re: video

Only if it has a 'USB' charger as well.

0
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Microsoft offers drone lovers a simulator

Elmer Phud

Office toy?

Friday is on its way, post-pub entertainment?

0
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NORKS fires missile that India reckons it could shoot down in flight

Elmer Phud

Proxy punch-up

Sooo, if India are also making claims, then the Donald's people will need to lever the rancour between the Norks and India.

That way they can encourage the Norks to point their toys elesewhere.

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Elmer Phud

Re: Pissing matches

small hands . . .

10
2

Hyperloop sueball noose-man launches tube-travel rival

Elmer Phud

Re: Hyper ~ excessively + Loop ~ convolution = Vacuum Tube extortion

Not sure why you got a down vote.

It's just another sparkly start-up con.

Only this time led by a solipsistic remnant of 1970's porn by the looks.

4
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Brought to you by UK.gov: 'Most ambitious programme of change of any government anywhere in the world'

Elmer Phud

Uber wotsit

"On a panel afterwards, Jonathan Salter, permanent secretary at the Department for Education, called for an "Uber for supply teachers". "

"There's a fight outside my local school"

'Bloody kids'

"No, it's potential supply teachers"

The thought of it not working and going on to a Deliveroo style . . .

3
0

Latest loon for Trump's cabinet: Young-blood-loving, kidney-market advocate Jim O'Neill

Elmer Phud

We could never do anything as stupid as that

We are far more sensible over here and would never putting someone le Boris (the unfeasibly useless) Johnson in a posy such as Foreign Secretary would we?

Captain Flasheart without the funny bits.

0
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Neo-Nazi man jailed for anti-Semitic Twitter campaign against MP

Elmer Phud

Re: No issues with the sentencing, but...

Possibly not, many of the twat-right see Vlad as a hero for his stance on how 'unnatural' homosexuality is.

He'd be a fekkin' hero.

4
2

The future often starts as a toy, so don't shun toy VR this Christmas

Elmer Phud

Re: I'd save some money back...

I wish I'd had the money to do all that.

A cheap VR can bring many of these things to those who could never actually go to these places.

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Elmer Phud

and . . .

basic light meter, spirit level, Wi-Fi sniffer . . .

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Telstra's answers El Reg's Smart Home security questions

Elmer Phud

A cold winter?

Xmas means lots and lots of shiny-shiny.

With all the IoT adverts there will be lot of the stuff installed/bunged in.

Also lots of press about ease of access.

Bored teenagers over Xmas looking for holes in the neighbours network . . .

0
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What went wrong at Tesco Bank?

Elmer Phud

Re: Given current reporting

They are while there is a possibility of Trump going ahead with a 45% levy on Chinese kit.

Double Trumped

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Elmer Phud

Re: Insider job?

Or does 'click and collect' at their nearest Tesco

0
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Five-a-day energy drink habit turned chap's eyes yellow, urine dark, caused anorexia

Elmer Phud

Re: "Jesus load of caffeine"?

There's a lot of crap goes in to mask the sweetness and other crap to mask the masking things.

But fuck that caffeine, nasty stuff.

Never like seeing truck drivers with the shakes at the same fuel stop as me don't want to be anywhere near them on the road.

4
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Elmer Phud

Re: Far be it from me to throw the first rock

I don't drink 'energy' drinks and coke rarely but BACON?

Jeez, that's tough.

7
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Sound-mufflers chuck acoustic sleep blanket at the noise-plagued

Elmer Phud

And it looked so promising

" A one-room kit consists of two wall-mounted speakers and integrates with home IoT kit such as . . ."

Hmm, 50calibre machine gun fire at 3 in the morning via the 'secure' IoT?

4
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Smart Meter rollout delayed again. Cost us £11bn, eh?

Elmer Phud

Re: Shafted at both ends

Also living in the model for Easy Council (flog it all, flog the lot! then praise yourself) I have declined the possibility of a 'smart meter'.

I just don't trust any of the buggers.

Crapita has a looooong history of screwing over Barnet while the leader buy themselves new laptops, iPads etc.

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The IoT market will grow through cannibalisation, says Tech Mahindra

Elmer Phud

Money ---- anything about security?

0
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LASER RAT FENCE wins €1.7m European Commission funds

Elmer Phud

Those of us old enough to remember . . .

. . . will recall the astounding results achieved by the Chinese when they decided to 'deal' with the problem of birds eating crops.

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Accountant falls for sexy Nigerian email scammer, gives her £150k he cheated out of pal

Elmer Phud

Prime target

"Described as a "church-going and well-respected professional","

Well, yeah. Research has shown that educated 'professionals' tend to be some of the easiest meat.

Humans are still the easiest vector.

6
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It's nearly 2017 and JPEGs, PDFs, font files can hijack your Apple Mac, iPhone, iPad

Elmer Phud

Re: Cupertino is ...

"As Linux gains foothold in the desktop market,"

Yeah, right . . .

3
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Thanks, IoT vendors: your slack attitude will get regulators moving

Elmer Phud

I blame the chemtrails

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Elmer Phud

Re: Après nous le déluge

CE labels don't cost much to buy . . .

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Elmer Phud

Re: National regulation won't do a damned thing.

Nice things become normal things

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Judge nailed for trying to bribe Fed with fizzy water (aka Bud Light)

Elmer Phud

Nah, one was seriously affronted at not being offered single malt.

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