* Posts by Dalek13

19 posts • joined 18 Feb 2008

Pig plague 2.0: Can't spell 'pandemic' without 'panic'



While the Meeja(tm) continue to push this out as an apolcalyptic SWINE FLU MURDER DEATH KILL scenario, fear and panic (and unit sales) will increase.

Let's re-brand it the 'Wiggy-sniffles' - see how much interest that generates...

Mine's the one with the Tamiflu blister-pack in the pocket.

Fancy nipping for a quick two-thirds of a pint?



You spend all that time reaching settlement over proper ElReg units and then fall at the first!

Two Grapefruits o' Best and a Funbag of dry white will continue to be the regular Friday lunchtime order round here thank you!

Facebook - The Movie! Exclusive storyboard peek

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Definate Blockbuster

Bet it makes over 3.5 Linden Dollars in it's first weekend alone!!

And I loved the dual scene 3s rather than the usual scene 3/4. Nice bit of parallel plot development that.

Woman finds Lithuanian living in shed


Still preferable...

...to finding gnomes!

Lab tech supplier redefines corporate song paradigm


SOP Change Required.

Can I suggest that whatever was in that pipette, she'd best do that work in a fume cabinet next time!

Just what were they thinking when they commissioned this?

Consider yourself Moderatrixed


Re:Re: Loath and Loathe

>>And don't get me started on the crotch/crutch issue. Jeeesh.

And a thousand keyboards all fell simultaneously silent in anticipation...

'Anaconda' 200m rubber snake generator scheme gets funding



If the answer to our energy woes lay in floating, black rubber 'Anaconda's', the UK canal network would have replaces the National Grid by now!

Mines the one with the 'ribbed tickler' in the pocket...

MS bashes Gay(wood) Xbox Live gamer


Innuendo-based filtering?

So does this mean that all names with even the feintest whiff of innuendo will be filtered from now?

What of the many 'Blackwoods', 'Hiscocks', 'Slowcums' 'Bellheads' and 'Longhorns' of this world (to name but a few)?

It'll only end in tears!

Independent dubs El Reg lesbian



They were probably reading some of the threads on the comment boards. Plenty of 'girl on girl' action there...

Yes, mines the kevlar one with the stab-proof hood...

Brown opts for morality over science on 'lethal skunk'

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@ amanfromMars

"Are we to see Random Drugs Testing of MPs next..."

Yes, as long as we all get to vote on which random drug they have to test on any given week!!

(No THAT'S pay tv right there! :-D).

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Ban on Buns Next???

Skunk bashing

Pr0n censoring

(Northern) Rock breaking

No Drugs, No Sex, No Rock...

This is government by cheezy lyrics isn't it?

Oi Graudon, grow up! You're not a bullied little teenager any more.

Mel Gibson to star in Edge of Darkness


Hollywad's Ever Decreasing Circles...

Groan, yet *another* hollywood remake of a true drama classic.

Actually I can just see a vamped Susan Sarandon playing the maniacal Darius Jedburgh as she threatans a room full of innocent guests with two handfuls of fissile plutonium...

oh...hang on...wasn't that the end of Enchanted?

Ok, I'm confused now, so was it Amy Adams or Bob Peck who played Ron Craven? And who's Mel Gibson anyway I do so lose track of these hollywood remakes...mumble..mumble..(shuffles off stage left...)...that's right the dressing gown please...no the other pills...

No sense of humour? Avoid Bootnotes

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I, for one, welcome our animal fancying, orifice buzzing, nipple festooned, lego-based overlords!

Doctor Who and the moody Dane

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Just 'cos the Russ T gave the cybermen a makeover they get a lookin. But we're dropped again for the 'serious' work.

My Dalek 'burpy-metal-fish-voice' would have been perfect for Shakespear too.


Miami cops trial 'hover and stare' ducted-fan Dalek



Definately not a Dalek! And someone put some clothes on her for goodness sake!

Space shuttle descends: Satellite turkey-shoot to commence



"...an "exo-atmospheric kill vehicle" lofted by a triple-stage Standard rocket..."

So does anyone actually know how much hydrazine fuel will be falling back to Earth from the stages of the SM3 that's being used to shoot down a dangerous satellite full of hydrazine fuel?

Or do we need another rocket for those?

<confused mumbling>

US declares 1400-mile Pacific sat-shoot exclusion zone


Ha - you've all missed the point...

Look at the positioning, trajectory, hardware. This is all a cover story cunningly engineered to capture attention away from the true objective: the final and long awaited removal of that pesky Canada and the creation of the New North American Sea!!!! Mwwwwaaahahahahahaahahahah!!

Mine's the dressing gown with the pills in the pocket...

US satellite-shoot effort seeds conspiracy theory storm

Paris Hilton


Oh come on!

Is it me or are certain governments' statements now firmly crossing the line from 'heavy spin' do downright insulting? It's demonstrably absurd, as shown in this article and others, that the US military are not doing this for altruistic reasons so why insult our collective intelligence? I'd rather they didn't talk at all if that's what they're reduced to.

Can't stand to lose it, don't put it up there without a backup plan.

Paris 'cos this smells decidedly fishy!

'Suspicious comment' provokes LAX terminal evacuation


Re: Terrorism just got easier

No, easier than that. New budget terrorist kit:

1 x packet of Post-Its

1 x biro

Instructions for use:

1) Write suspicious comment on Post-It

2) Stick to backs/fronts/sides of random passing people

3)Errr...that's it.

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