"The video card fan runs continuously at its highest speed, making the noise absolutely intolerable. The machine is useless to me with Linux."
Install the proper drivers....
I have the same video card in the same machine (Dimension 9200) - yes it does run with the fan at the highest speed in linux - until you install the proper nvidia drivers. I have a different sound card in my machine but I'd be amazed if it was anything other than your incompetence causing the problem. Other than that - a terrible article - well done.