* Posts by technos

12 posts • joined 6 Feb 2008

Never let something so flimsy as a locked door to the computer room stand in the way of an auditor on the warpath


I didn't even have to do it myself.

I myself once had a bad router behind a deadbolted, heavy duty door so I went out to my truck to grab my tool box. The door swung out, and this wasn't my first rodeo using a hammer and chisel on hinges, so not a big deal.

In the ten minutes I was gone an angry employee had found himself a fire axe and done the door in for me.

He looked proud, and he was still holding the axe, so I just nodded and got to work swapping the router.

Two Arkansas dipsticks nicked after allegedly taking turns to shoot each other while wearing bulletproof vests


Re: Sounds like the muppets who tried to test a book's bullet-stopping capabilities...

I've seen .22LR (from a cheap rifle, at distance) stopped by a copy of Larry Wall's 'Programming Perl'.

The O'Reilly Sendmail book is longer, so...

Hell Desk's 800 number was perfect for horrible heavy-breathing harassment calls


After the dot-com crashes I took a job at a transportation company on graveyard shift and was usually the only soul in the building for a good portion of the night. Some nights I could swear I heard an old-fashioned telephone ringing, but it was so muffled and indistinct I could never pinpoint it in time to answer it.

So what's a guy to do? Wardial every number we'd been assigned until I found the right one, and then dial that over and over until I found the phone itself. I found a lot of phones in weird places; Two in closets, one under a ladies room sink, one behind an electrical panel in a storage building, etc, but finding the one I wanted was a bit harder. Even armed with the number I could only ever get close; It just seemed to echo throughout our offices.

I had to break out the big guns, a linesman's handset and a wire tracer.

Turns out that when they'd converted a portion of a disused repair shop into more offices in the 1970's the workmen managed to cover an operational telephone in drywall, leaving it to ring into a void created by the fake walls and drop ceiling.

The best part? Just feet away, hanging on the wall of the break room was an enlarged black and white photograph of the old repair shop. The phone was clearly visible and blown up to nearly half real-world size.

I only ever used my knowledge for evil, of course. If I was stuck late I'd take over a table next to the coffee maker with my reports and spend the last half hour or so annoying my coworkers by calling it and watching them scramble. If someone asked me if I knew what phone it was I'd point at the photograph.

"Maybe it's that one."

700,000 Muslim Match dating site private messages leaked online


Sausage festival...

I've had a look through the comments, and the biggest take away I got was that there weren't enough women on the site, if there were any actual women at all.

Over half the messages were guys begging (actual begging) for a message back or complaining that the site must not be working or he'd surely have received one back, and nearly all of the rest were the guys sending the same overly formal come-on over and over.

The BOFH is BACK: And it's cloudy with a 90% chance of beatings


Re: Never received it....

[snip]However the "read-receipt" thing doesn't exist at my work, not only do all the clients have it turned off, but the mail server strips the header from the emails.[/snip]

Send email as HTML, include a 1x1 white pixel on an external server you control. That's what I do, at least.

TV gesture patent bombshell: El Reg punts tech into public domain

Thumb Up

Re: Some more gestures

-- Index finger in nostril - Discovery channel.

That sounds great. I was afraid I'd have to drink my own piss. Will my thumb work?

Surprise! Republican bill adds politics to science funding


Re: Just imagine...

It could be argued that the President has the authority to renogitiate or withdraw from the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo without Senate oversight, and Mexico never recognized the old Republic of Texas, after all.

CIA demands UK halts interrogation tactics

Thumb Down

What, couldn't schedule one ahead of time?

By god, I've been waiting seven hours for a suitable April Fools to appear.

The Register has disappointed me before, when they lost any semblance of journalistic principles, but this takes the cake!

Three questions for the Jesus SDK



-- If all you dumb ass linux developers had even a little clue about developing apps that understand the fundamentals of human user interface then the mobile phone market wouldn't be in the code mess it's in now and Apple might not have entered the market.

If I'm not mistaken, you're an American. And in the North American market, Windows Mobile is the party to blame for horrid smartphone usability. Not Linux, not even mighty Symbian.

After all, it is almost entirely the WinCE market share being eaten by the iPhone, right?

Smut peddlers and spammers invade Google Groups

Paris Hilton

You assume they're reputable

--- Is that it costs virtually nothing to spam 4 gazillion people, so even if they only sell a palet load of viagra - then its worth it.

Oh come on now. Do you honestly believe that any company that spams you is legitimate? They're not even selling a single Viagra pill, let alone a pallet. They're hoping some moron will give them their credit card details, nothing more.

Paris isn't even that dumb.

Ofcom to clamp down on 'unfair' charges


Rude names? Oh my.

-- Apparenty my credit card company and my bank also have a lot of customers with very rude online names not dissimilar to theirs, I discovered. In fact they seemed to have customers with similar names for every rude word I could think of, no matter how it was composed.

Those user accounts are the ones administrators use for internal testing. Who hates an online bill payment system more than the ones that designed and implemented it, after all?

Hollywood writers abandon Hollywood for web


'Fast food nation' Bah.

'The Jungle' written by Upton Sinclair.

Originally serialized by a Socialist paper in Chicago, it was the reason anything was done at all. After it had been published as a book, Sinclair sent Roosevelt a copy and through repeatedly prodding at him got a look taken at the meat industry. Sinclair had hoped he would look into the 'wage slave' conditions of the packing plants, but in the end all they did was regulate the cleanliness of the industry.

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