I have a knife!
Once upon a time (1999 to be precise) in a land not so far away (Sunderland), there was a Sales Director with a laptop.
He was working late one evening in his kitchen, his very expensive Sony Vaio laptop on a stool whilst he ate a late supper.
In bounds his dog and with one swish of the tail, the dog knocks the £2000 laptop off the stool and onto the floor. The Sales Manager cried 'woe is me!' when he picked the laptop up and it was dead.
'But I have a knife!' he exclaimed, 'A nice shiny, pointy, kitchen knife and I'll open up this expensive laptop with this knife and fix it myself How hard can it be?!'
And lo, the Sales Director takes the pointy knife and takes the laptop apart with gusto, saving screws here and there, although some fall away and are lost in the mist of time. But alas, the laptop resists the pointy ministrations and he cries foul 'Away with you to the cretins at IT!"
The following day, wrapped ceremoniously in a plastic bag from Waitrose, the laptop did make it's way to the IT Manager and the foul petard was foist upon the unsuspecting IT minions for repair.
The sight was beholden with distaste, the laptop in pieces, missing screws, case carved up with a pointy (but shiny!) knife. Alas, the laptop was no more. Resistance was futile, and the minion dared to say that the Sales Director should not have used his shiny knife and should pay for a new laptop under his own aegis.
'Nay!' went the IT Manager schill, ''Twould behoove you not to malign your betters! Off with your head!'
And so the Sales Director was given a new shiny expensive laptop and the pieces of the old were given unto the fire as a sacred offering, to be whispered about in IT forums forever, or until the end of Friday.
Sales Director breaks laptop, tries to repair it with a kitchen knife and butchers it irresponsibly, and expects IT to repair it. Gets away with a brand new laptop and not even a slap on the wrist.