* Posts by Ketlan

402 posts • joined 29 Jan 2008

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Infosec guru Schneier: Govts WILL intervene to regulate Internet of Sh!t

Ketlan
Happy

Threats R'Us

"The real physical threat from the Internet of Things..." is that it's a load of outrageously expensive, insecure crap!

10
0

'President Zuck' fundraiser opens for business

Ketlan
Pint

Dear God...

First Trump then over to Zuckerberg - could it get any worse? (Rhetorical question - I'm pretty sure it could)

Beer icon cos after reading this article I need a LOT of beers!

10
0

Master of Dredd: Judge inker John Higgins speaks to The Reg

Ketlan
Happy

This sounds good

Loved Urban's Dredd, the Killing Joke and, naturally, Watchmen. This looks like a worthwhile gallery visit for a change. More power to Higgins' glorious pen.

5
0

Would you believe it? The Museum of Failure contains quite a few pieces of technology

Ketlan
Unhappy

Re: Marry me...

'Sorry to leave you heartbroken, but I'm not available.'

Damn. :-(

2
0
Ketlan
WTF?

FFS...

How exactly is honesty trolling?

6
7
Ketlan

FFS...

Downvotes, ahoy.

Linux, in whatever form, is shit. People use Microsoft in whichever way they find it because it's relatively intuitive. Linux simply isn't and the Linux community is both elitist and exclusive. I have on many occasions over the past few years tried to escape the Microsoft chains only to find myself treated like a fucking idiot on various Linux forums for asking, what seems to these supreme beings to be, very basic questions. If Linux users embraced ex-Windows users, maybe things would get better for Linux generally. As it is, they won't and it won't.

The sad thing is that, if Linux emulated Windows a little more, particularly with regard to compatibility, a hell of a lot more Windows users would make the change. Also, if Linux users didn't regard themselves as so fucking special, that might help, too.

18
24
Ketlan
Happy

Marry me...

"But honestly, no one associates motorcycles with nice smells. Not even men."

Oh, I don't know. I loved the smell of my motorbike, and even the smell of my second wife when she'd been out on hers for hours. There's something about the smells of burning oil/petrol and pisspoor electrics that is really attractive. On the other hand, if a perfume could be produced that smelled like an old and much-loved book, I'd marry the wearer tomorrow - male, female, cephalopod or whatever.

12
0

Lenovo's 2017 X1 Carbon is a mixed bag

Ketlan
Devil

Dosh?

Did I miss the bit where the article said how much it cost?

6
0

As Trump signs away Americans' digital privacy, it's time to bring out the BS detector

Ketlan
Thumb Down

We'll follow as usual

Brit here and expecting our crappy government to follow the US as it always does. Thank God or the deity of your choice for VPNs/Tor and so on.

Whatever happened to freedom?

20
0

'Hey, Homeland Security. Don't you dare demand Twitter, Facebook passwords at the border'

Ketlan
Mushroom

Bollocks to Trump

They can demand all they want - I don't have anything to do with Twitter, Facebook or any of the other time-wasting crap on the net. Besides, there are plenty of places to go rather than the US.

39
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Without new anti-robot laws, humanity is doomed, MPs told

Ketlan
Happy

Talkie Toaster...

Talkie Toaster is my hero!!!

0
0

Blighty's telly, radio watchdog Ofcom does a swear

Ketlan
Unhappy

Re: What?

Forget it, it's boring.

0
0
Ketlan
Devil

What?

What the hell is an 'Iberian slap' - and do I really want to know?

3
0

Redback sinks fangs into Aussie's todger AGAIN... second time in five months

Ketlan
Happy

Eek...

Seems like a good opportunity to ask everyone to suck the venom out for you. Okay, you'd probably die but at least you'd die happy.

4
0

2 in 3 Millennials block ads

Ketlan
Happy

Away with all ads...

'A survey of 2,700 Millennials aged 18 to 24 in the US has this week revealed that two-thirds use ad blockers on desktop and mobile devices.'

And a hundred percent of the adults I know use ad blockers! More power to 'em.

2
0

Ad flog Plus: Adblock Plus now an advertising network, takes cash to broker web banners

Ketlan
Thumb Down

No options

'...And you can still choose to block all ads with Adblock Plus if you wish, meaning you'll see no banners at all.'

For all their bluster and bullshit, I wonder how long that option will remain. Not much longer, is my guess.

5
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VMware Vannounces Vlots Vof Very Vnew Vstuff Vat VMworld

Ketlan
Devil

Aaaarrrggh!!!

It made my eyes bleed just reading that fucking headline!

1
0

Lester Haines: RIP

Ketlan

So sad

Sad and shocking news. So young, too. Condolences to his family and all at the Reg. He will definitely be missed.

3
0

Dyson hair dryer

Ketlan
Happy

Obligatory HHGTTG gag

I think I'll just carry on doing what Ford Prefect did - make sure I always have a towel close to hand.

0
0

Stiffer piracy spankings

Ketlan
Devil

Quick read

I swear the articles on this site are getting smaller. Is it cos it's Friday?

0
0

I am sending pouting selfies to a robot. Its AI is well buff

Ketlan
Windows

How dare they?

'...one of the key ground rules is NO BEARDS'

That's me fucked then. :-(

11
0

Shareholder rage freezes Salesforce boss Marc Benioff's package

Ketlan
Devil

Bless...

'The chief executive’s package was down 16 per cent to $33.362m for Salesforce’s fiscal year 2016.'

Poor lamb.

'The company said it acted following “concerns regarding quantum of total CEO pay.”'

What the hell does that even mean? Why can't they use normal words like 'ridiculously excessive amount'?

13
0

Feature-rich Vivaldi rolls out, offering power users a choice

Ketlan
Happy

Notes though not email

'...and notepad too'

Is this the old Notes facility? This was fabulously useful and is sorely missed in Firefox. Couldn't care less about the email though - I have a text-based email client to take care of that.

4
0

Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

Ketlan
WTF?

Er, what?

"why do people hang dog poos in trees?"

Do they? I've never heard of such a thing, thank #deity.

9
0

Brits shun nightclubs and CD-ROMs for lemons, coffee and woman’s leggings

Ketlan
Happy

Re: Er...

Exactly the same thing but wearing 'cardigowns' and those stupid fluffy animal slippers.

10
0
Ketlan
Happy

Er...

'Modern Britons would rather sit at home in a pair of lady’s leggings quaffing Baileys, downloading computer games and sucking lemons...'

That's EXACTLY what I do every night.

14
0

Reminder: How to get a grip on your files, data that Windows 10 phones home to Microsoft

Ketlan
Devil

Fat chance

'Much of the info about how Windows and apps are functioning is deleted within 30 days.'

'Much of???' That's including, possibly, some personal files? Not a chance.

33
2

Yahoo! is! up! for! sale! – so! how! much! will! you! bid!?

Ketlan
Happy

Not a lot

Tree-fiddy, and not a penny more.

1
0

Ballmer schools SatNad on Microsoft's mobile strategy: You need one

Ketlan
Windows

Luxuries

'Ballmer lists his luxuries as his private plane and a weekly massage.'

Wow, I'm more like Ballmer that I ever know. My luxuries are my fifteen year old car and a weekly takeaway. Hmm, not much like him, after all.

On the other hand I'm a fat bad-tempered bastard, too, so there's that.

19
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Who wants a quad-core 4.2GHz, 64GB, 5TB SSD RAID 10 … laptop?

Ketlan
Thumb Up

Uurrgghhh...

I just had either an orgasm or a heart attack.

51
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Google to pump free gigabit Fiber into homes of hard-up families

Ketlan

Well, if we're being super-picky, it should be 'spelled', not 'spelt' or 'spellt'.

2
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We're all really excited about new smartphones, laptops, tablets – said no one ever

Ketlan
Devil

Small poll but interesting

I just carried out a quick poll of everyone in my immediate vicinity (22 people). All those on Android devices (12) have no intention of 'upgrading' in the foreseeable future, except one guy who said he could do with a better camera on his mobile eventually. Everyone using an iPhone (10), without exception, intends to upgrade at the earliest opportunity. I've no great love for Apple but they certainly have their marketing well-targeted and pretty well sorted for future sales.

14
1

SanDisk offers super-slim terabyte SSD to tablet-pushers and other bulge-watchers

Ketlan
Devil

How much?

No prices (or guesstimates)?

2
0

Flare-well, 2015 – solar storm to light up skies on New Year's Eve

Ketlan
Devil

Never mind the US

'...the delightful lighting effects this will cause might be seen as far south as California.'

And as far North as the UK?

5
0

Microsoft in 2015: Mobile disasters, Windows 10 and heads in the clouds

Ketlan

'The whole "windows 10 is crap" propaganda mainly exists on tech sites. In the real world windows 10 is well received.'

Have to say I agree with this. Techies hate it but the folk out there in the real world seem to love it (once the intrusive crap is turned off anyway). I'm still on 7 but I'm tempted to give 10 a go. it's pretty easy to reinstall everything from a backup.

5
17

Brazil gets a WTF WhatsApp moment

Ketlan

Limited?

'...in an effort to exert pressure on the company, which has a limited presence in Brazil'

'...estimated 100 million Brazilian users of WhatsApp'

I wouldn't call 100 million users a 'limited presence' in ANY country.

4
7

Hollywood given two months to get real about the price of piracy

Ketlan
Devil

Pfaffing?

Since when is pfaffing a word? Faffing, yes. I do that all the time. And faffing is in the Oxford English, too.

5
0

Australian cops rush to stop 2AM murder of … a spider

Ketlan
Mushroom

Eek!

Bloody funny but I can't blame him. I'm pretty much the same way around spiders myself.

'As it turns out the male was chasing a rather large spider around the unit with a can or mortein.'

I'm a Brit - what's a can or mortein?

1
0

Lights, power, action! Smartplugs with a twist

Ketlan
Unhappy

FFS

Seriously? $160-worth of three plugs to turn on a light three seconds after I would have passed the switch that's on the wall next to me as I enter the room. Then the time needed to program/reprogram this over-expensive crap...

Until the Internet of Odds and Sods can come up with gadgets that are a)useful, b)necessary and c)reasonably priced for what they do, they can shove it.

9
0

Dad who shot 'snooping vid drone' out of the sky is cleared of charges

Ketlan
Thumb Up

Finally

Thank fuck for a bit of common sense.

8
2

Get whimsical and win a Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive

Ketlan
Happy

My go.

"Who the hell is Ashley Madison?"

0
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Would YOU make 400 people homeless for an extra $16m? Decision time in Silicon Valley

Ketlan
Happy

No choice really.

I'd have to go with the $39m. My conscience wouldn't let me do anything else especially if some of the residents are friends.

25
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John McAfee cuffed by Tennessee cops, faces drug-driving, gun rap

Ketlan
Devil

Gawd, him again

With any luck, he'll shut the fuck up at last. I won't hold my breath though.

1
35

'How can HP have a dress code if I'm wearing this wacky hat?'

Ketlan
Devil

More bullshit...

'Elsewhere this week, US watchdog the FCC said it wanted to fine AT&T $100m for throttling traffic. The carrier, in turn, had a good old moan by saying it really would rather not have to cough up the cash. The result? AT&T has told the feds to take a hike. Besides, the company said, customers really enjoy being throttled, apparently...'

Yeah, of course. And as we were told a few months back, people who use ad blockers actually like to receive ads.

FFS

5
0

Wikipedia jumps aboard the bogus 'freedom of panorama' bandwagon

Ketlan
Happy

Re: EU snipers

'Civil War General John Sedgwick's last words: "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance".'

I thought Sedgwick's last words were actually: "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---".

4
0

Windows 10 upgrade ADWARE forces its way on to Windows 7 and 8.1

Ketlan

Re: Free*

That's made it all clearer. Thanks, guys.

1
0
Ketlan

Re: Free*

'It may be worth saying that it is free for a year from release ie until 29/7/2016.'

This is confusing the crap out of me. From some sources, it's clear that this is a permanent giveaway, presumably because MS is looking to make its money on apps/programs. From others, I understand that this is free for a single year, after which there is a subscription charge, monthly or annually. Could anyone state - with absolute confidence - which is the correct scenario?

0
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Long, sticky summer ahead: Win 10 will be with OEMs by 31 August

Ketlan
WTF?

Eek!

'16 GB Graphics card'

Shome mishtake, shurely...

6
1

Silk Road boss Ross Ulbricht to spend LIFE in PRISON without parole

Ketlan
WTF?

Jeez

In the UK he would have been very unlucky to have got ten years. A double life term? Shit.

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5

Hardcore creationist finds 60-million-year-old fossils in backyard ... 'No, it hasn’t changed my mind about the Bible'

Ketlan
Devil

Luvverly

Fuck Nernberg's stupidities - that's a hell of a nice find.

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