* Posts by Bill Cumming

209 posts • joined 22 Jan 2008


Sniper-aiding app arrives for iPhone

Bill Cumming

But does it....

Come with a free "Secret Service" flight to GitMo?


A "Flowers By Iris" van parked in your street for a month?

...Mines the one with the Kevlar lining..

Steve Jobs takes medical leave from Apple to focus on health

Bill Cumming

Not a Mac fan....

...But I wish Jobs a speedy recovery..

mines the one with the "red-cross" logo...

Dixons websites take a little lie down

Bill Cumming
Thumb Up

Call the Tech guys

They did!

The tech guys are currently reformatting the servers with the default XP pro the server came with, They will then ask of the owners had a backup, at which time they will say "nothing we can do it's your problem now" and leave....

Windows for Warships™ reaches Royal Navy frigates

Bill Cumming

Come on! just ONE joke...

Microsoft did customize this version of Windows.....

The BSoD is now renamed and recoloured to the "NBSoD" (Navy Blue Screen of Death)...

...mine is the one with the built in survival suit...

Lenovo preps dual-display Frankenlaptop

Bill Cumming
Paris Hilton

Now if they made...

a South Paw version with the small screen being a touch sensitive...

I'd be in line you get one....

*<insert obligatory Paris Hilton double entendre here>

iPlayer finally makes friendly with Mac and Linux

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

Who cares? this is a fun 3some!

Well i got BBC app that uses an Adobe App for DRM issues and downloaded a MP4 file which plays fine on my old laptop.

What other TV channel lets Linux users Download a program in the UK Legally?

answers on the back of a stamp.....

Amazon peddles Prince for pence

Bill Cumming
Thumb Up

Think of roylties!!!

Well how much roylaties do the record company expect to get back per album?

More than 79p. factor in the royalties for the artist, marketing, musicians and Managers and it comes to WAY more than 79p :D

Good legal way to screw the record industry :D:D


RIAA won't sue, but will throttle

Bill Cumming
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So they are changing tack and stopping suing people just before their methods are ruled illegal...

Giving themselves the right to use the same (potentially illegal) methods to go after people in the future for more money??

Wisemen bring Jesus Phone (free) cut-and-paste

Bill Cumming

oops......(drat fixed)


As they say one hole closes another HUGE security hole opens.....


Users of this new "web app" can cut their own info and paste someone else's info while they are there :D

Drat flaw was fixed.... :(

BOFH: Blackmail and fine wine

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

@AC (Windoze Versions) & mittfh

The "2007" is probably the old Win95 installs with a new desktop that the BoFH & PFY sold to the company via a dummy Channel Island outfit for a tidy profit.....;)

Four-year-old Diebold glitch silently drops votes

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

When will the learn...


The error only came to light after a volunteer outfit using open-source software and an off-the-shelf paper scanner audited the results.

in short..

Open source = Win

Closed source = Fail

Israeli Linux fan squeezes Windows refund out of Dell

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

Interesting side issue...

Does this mean that the EULA's ARE legal documents now?

This might bugger up MacClone wannabes....

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

Dell's just taking the pith...

What's so hard about Dell selling PC's without an OS? They sell servers OS free ALL the time!

Microsoft to embed RSA data cop in Windows

Bill Cumming
Paris Hilton

I can see it now....

You buy a licence for Exchange or other server product.... after a year, if you don't pay M$ for a renewal licence or M$ thinks your running an illegal product , it encrypts all your Emails and data, then you have to pay M$ a licence fee for the decrypt key...

Paris 'cause she don't go down more than a Microsoft Server does...

Sony said to be planning Spring PS3 price cut

Bill Cumming

Thought prices were going up?

Didn't Sony release a statement last week saying they will be putting prices UP over the next 3 months?

Are they going to do that old Supermarket con of putting the PS3 price up 10% Around Crimbo and New Near, then dropping the price back down 10% and saying it's a saving for the customer? Wonder what price they will release the 160Gb version at?

Terror in orbit: ISS piss recycler in fire alarm mishap

Bill Cumming

That's the last thing A&E need..

They had to put up with drunk PFY's at 4am Sunday morning after trying to light farts and getting burned..

...Now after this story, they have a whole new set of burns to explain to the nurse.....

BNP races to get membership list off the net

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

Anyone had problems getting...

to Wikileaks.org today?

Keeps timing out on me...

BNP membership list leaks online

Bill Cumming

Guess their will be a shortage...

of clean underwear and toilet rolls tonight when people realise they could be sacked tomorrow morning :D

Linux weaktops poised for death by smartphone

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

Tecnically this is not about "failbooks"

It's about "fail-intel" the Atom is one of the worst chips ever to be produced. it's way to power hungry, doubles has a hotplate (if you fancy a fired egg with your chips!) and way to slow to be any use...

I'm just waiting to see how the new ARM's fare....

Gadget Show competition spews text spam

Bill Cumming

Lucky me...?

The first time in ages i've not entered that dam comp and it goes crazy! :D

They can make it up to us by sending pics of Suzi in that leather catsuit they had her in a few weeks ago :D

Mine's the coat with the overdue Mobile bill in the pocket....

Dead boffins deflate the cloud

Bill Cumming

Watson might end up correct...

Think about it!

You've got Apple Cloud (when its working)

Then there's Microsoft's Cloud

Then there's Google's Cloud

Then Nokia's OVI might end up as a Cloud network.

Even Shuttleworth's Ubuntu might get on the Cloud Bandwaggon.

Every person in the world using 5 Massive computers to do all their day to day work using NetBooks or NetTerminals.

The Personal PC's cutting / bleeding edge will drift back to the enthusiasts and gamers.

Ubuntu 8.10 - All Hail new Network Manager

Bill Cumming

Ubuntu did NOT drop older nvidia cards..

Slight issue with the generally good article.

Ubuntu8.10 did NOT drop support for the 96 & 71 drivers. Nvidia had not released binaries compatible with the new Xorg (Which has now been corrected) in time for the release.

I'm currently using the 96.43.09-0ubuntu-1 drivers on my Laptop with Ubuntu 8.10 with NO issues.

The default "nv" were used in place of the missing Nvidia drivers when it was released.

Mine is the Zulu speaking Penguin....

The netbook newbie's guide to Linux

Bill Cumming

@ Gordon

The point is that the main reason people don't go for Linux is, They think the Command line is scary and to complicated. By showing the user that the Command line is actually simple and useful tool (abit a complicated one at first..) in the first few articles, takes the scary value out of it and once that's out of the way people can then concentrate on the benefits of the Linux OS.

BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage

Bill Cumming
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Erm... I Blame Sachs..

This was a *RECORDED* show. Andrew had time to submit a complaint to the BBC and stop it being broadcast. But he didn't, his fault.


Latest news is Brand has quit the BBC and is off to the US.

On second thoughts... Good work Sachs :D:D

DVLA: A licence to bill

Bill Cumming

The only enforceable fines..

are issued by the police.

All others are civil matters and you can get out of paying them if you're a stubborn git....


Telco compares merger to Challenger space shuttle

Bill Cumming

Time to jump..

Think it's time for me to jump ship from Thus (Demon) before the "O" ring blows!!

Think SKY might get my business now...(no limits :D)

Mines the one with the bailout parachute on the back...

Servers buckle as Congress rejects $700bn Wall Street bailout

Bill Cumming

That 777 point drop...

...roughly equals $1.4 Trillion lost yesterday. What do they expect a mere $700 Billion to do apart from line the Pockets of the bosses in golden parachutes?

By the way is 777 not the "Market of the Beast"?

mine is the one with golden parachute strapped to the back...

Memo to US Secret Service: Net proxy may pinpoint Palin email hackers

Bill Cumming

What the Hacker should have done...

First thing I'd do (if i did that sort of stuff), would be to send out an email to the "work" email addresses (and a few newspaper addresses just for good measure) saying something like:

"I've decided to quit the VP ticket and back Obama/Biden for '08,"

(or something along those lines...) ;)

The sit back and watch as the G.O.P. disintegrates before they realise about the hack :D:D

FoxNews commentator Bill O'Reilly's website hacked

Bill Cumming

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy...

Think he should stick to targets to scared to fight back (like politicians ).

Epic Win?? :D

Mine's the one wit the wikileaking pockets...

Thus passes to C&W

Bill Cumming

Oh Feldercarp!

There goes my great Demon service down the River.

I'll wait for a few months to see how bad the service gets before i decide to jump ship....

Now Hollywood is chasing UK downloaders

Bill Cumming

I wonder why they bothered....

Stargate Atlantis has been cancelled anyway! Apart from the inevitable Direct to SKY / DVD movies.

No snapping: Photographers get collars felt

Bill Cumming

Ever watched the TV reality Police shows..

Every time a suspect is caught on camera in "Police,Stop Action", "Road Wars" or the latest police clip show on SKY, in the UK and they complain about the Film crew pointing a camera in their faces, the plod with the cuffs is always quick to say "They are in a public area and can film what they like!"

So it's OK to film people being man handled if the film makers are with the police (i.e. plod friendly view) rather than a member of the public shooting a normal daily scene...

Orwell would be spinning in his grave if he didn't see this coming.....

Jeery Jerry loves Vista, y'know

Bill Cumming
Gates Horns

Microsoft's Vista was intentional..

Think about it!

How many licences of Vista has Microsoft sold to vendors and the public?

Compare that to how many actually keep Vista on their PC before "Upgrading" to XP or Linux?

Basically Microsoft is getting people to buy a product they know people will not use!

Marketing man's wet dream! :D:D

genius is say.. pure genius :)

A third of Vista PCs downgraded to XP

Bill Cumming
Paris Hilton

only 35% went to XP...

wonder how many went to Linux ? higher or lower than XP's 35%

Paris 'cause she's just as cute but more user friendly than the penguin...

Third time unlucky for Elon Musk's Falcon rocket

Bill Cumming

The last irony....

The ashes of James Doohan "Scotty" were on board..

now if here was still the engineer instead of a passenger...

US customs: Yes, we can seize your laptop, iPod

Bill Cumming

I wonder if...

a UK traveller with his encrypted laptop gets his laptop taken. He refuses to give his password and sent back home.

The US tell the UK about your laptop and ask the Met to get the password for them..

A few day's later the police knock at his door saying they want to have a chat about your laptop and it's password.

If you refuse you get locked up for a few years and labelled a terrorist......

Mine is the one with the padded insides and padded envelopes

Dell's dinky designer desktop

Bill Cumming

@IM Phartain: Stable

When it's off the stand they employ added "weeble" (TM) tech...

Dell Weeble's wobble but don't fall down....

used joke tag due to how bad this joke really is!

HP shatters excessive packaging world record

Bill Cumming

Must be a slow news day....

Story's been Slashdotted...

Could have been worse!

They could have sent each individual page in it's own box for protection...

SF's silent sysadmin pleads not guilty

Bill Cumming

I bet you...

a PFY's wages that, in the rush to gain control back, some SysAdmin opened the network with the password he gave and let some script kiddies in....

Either that or the SF Mayor will be getting an email from some Russian guy saying:

"All you're passwords are belonging to us! You give 100,000 of you're American dollars to us. We give you good working password. p.s. you want to buy the Viagra?"

Irate sysadmin locks San Francisco officials out of network

Bill Cumming

Can't be used as a BOFH story...

NO cattle prods were used in the production of this story (Or passwords)... :D

Mine is the coat with the password in the pocket...

Judge grants Viacom 12TB of YouTube user records

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

Send the Drives Via UK..

Send the drives Via UK HMRC (UK Revenue & Customs) service. I can guarantee they will never reach their intended target.

Retailers risk libel nightmare over 'no-work' database

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

Don't they all ready have something like this running....

Don't they all ready have something like this running....

Think it's called the CRBC (Criminal Record Bureau Check).

Why have another database to be used 'n' abused....

Local mag claims Aussie Eee PC buyers will pay extra for Linux

Bill Cumming

The real story is this:

"At the official launch, the company told journalists that 'Microsoft has been a longstanding supporter of Asus' to explain the price discrepancy. And — get this — only the XP-based machine will be sold at mass-market retailers, while the Linux-based model will be consigned to computer stores."

So the XP version is going on sale in the big stores! While the Linux version is stuck in the small independent retailers.....

Independent dubs El Reg lesbian

Bill Cumming

OK Which idiot got them to change the article...




ermm me..:D


Grabbing my coat and doing a runner...

ISP reporting network to pierce bandwidth smokescreens

Bill Cumming
Thumb Up

@ Neil Greatorex

Try Zen or Demon both are good (but not cheep).

How to destroy 60 hard drives an hour

Bill Cumming

How about...

One of those ink re-filler Syringes a bottle of your fave fizzy drink (Irn-Bru for me)

Fill the syringe and pierce the "air hole" and fill the insides with the drink. wait a few hours or so and drain. The Fizzy drink has eaten some of the surface of the platters, and the sticky gunk makes the drive motors useless.

Heck see what those drinks can do to your teeth! :-\ :-/

But Thermite or Pick-Axe are better stress busting way's to go.....

Your personal data just got permanently cached at the US border

Bill Cumming

you guys are thinking to deeply.......

To be honest.

Why go to the bother of wiping a comp or playing about with encryption...

All you need to do is have a secure file that stores the SSH links to your company Servers..

Don't pack a laptop.

Go to the US pick up an EEEPc mini laptop thingies ( the one with the cute bird on the beach in the advertising pics) for a couple of hundred bucks (the price a of a good night out plus tips for the stripper) on the company card... use it to work on the linux OS with SSH while in the US. when you are about to fly home. Fed-Ex the laptop home it's light enough to be cheep...

So you don't have a laptop when catching your plane :D:D


Bill Cumming

Think i better change my splash screen!

Don't think my boot splash screen, of a bundle of dynamite with the status bar as a timer, will in down well with the trained ape's at us customs...

Bill Cumming

@ Anonymous Coward above /|\

They ARE restricted to who the give the info too.

They are restricted to two bodies.

1) Government agencies (any of them)


2) Corporate entities.

See nice and restricted.....

...mine is the one with the hidden Micro-SD sewn into the lining.

Broadcom shrinks Ethernet switching gear to 65nm

Bill Cumming
IT Angle

Good.. smaller network cards..

Now if they just get some darn Linux drivers produced........... :P


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