* Posts by VulcanV5

249 posts • joined 21 Jan 2008

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How much for that Belkin cable? Margin of 1,992%?

VulcanV5
Happy

Re: Enough is enough...

You may have gotten things a little muxed ip.

Not supporting David Cameron was always evidence of the existence of intelligent thought, rather than proof of its absence.

LOL.

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MH370 final report: Aussies still don’t know where it crashed or why

VulcanV5
Unhappy

"Societally unacceptable"

The authors of the report are correct: it is societally unacceptable that an a/c and all those aboard can vanish without trace. But unacceptability has always been intrinsic to human life. Earlier generations of my family had to contend with the unacceptable reality of polio and diptheria; still earlier, the unacceptable reality of cholera and contaminated water. And before that: etc, etc, etc. Yet that very unacceptability was the stimulus for change, whether over decades or centuries.

What change, one wonders, is going to arise from the societally unacceptable MH370?

Is it really the case that in the 21st Century we're as much reliant on blind faith as people were in the 11th Century? That we have to go along with a lethal reality today in hope that somehow and in some way it might be neutralised tomorrow? Or is it the case that within today's technology there already exists the potential to deal with this?

As things are, I've no idea what happened to that flight. Have no speculation to voice, and wouldn't for a moment pay the slightest attention to repellent conspiracy theorists and the fantasies they invent.

The only invention in which I'm interested, here in my pax seat aboard a civil a/c cruising at 35000 ft through the midnight hour above a vast ocean, is the invention that will mean that whatever fate befalls this flight and I don't make it home, at least my wife and kids will know what happened, and in their grieving will be able to understand the reason why.

My curiosity then is not about MH370 because, very obviously, there are no answers at this time. What's passed from sight is past. It's today and all the tomorrows that are my concern, and the question as to how near -- or far -- is the day when nothing like the societally unacceptable MH370 can happen again.

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Shock: Brit capital strips Uber of its taxi licence

VulcanV5
Happy

Shame on TfL

A company but recently headed by a figure of such colossal integrity and charm as Travis Kalanik. A company that has invested heavily in software of a most original kind. A company which pays not a cent into the national purse by way of employer's NI contribution. A company whose managerial ethos has always combined piety and diligence. . .

What on earth is TfL doing, banning it from London? Ye gods, at this rate, Uber may yet vanish from the face of the earth.

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What's that, Equifax? Most people expect to be notified of a breach within hours?

VulcanV5
Happy

Re: Not Qualified

Definitely, the Post of the Month. Puts me in mind of Michael O'Leary, running an airline from his newsagent's perspective: stacking 'em high, and only later bothering about returns.

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Downloaded CCleaner lately? Oo, awks... it was stuffed with malware

VulcanV5

@ Hans 1

Your ability to comprehend the user-chooser multiple functionality of CCleaner is obviously as fitful as your ability to express coherent thought. For the record: I wouldn't even trust CHP to tell me anything useful about that particular software, never mind MVPs or MHPs. Or any other Muddled Vacuous Pratt, either.

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VulcanV5
Paris Hilton

Re: Ruisert

Not sure about it being typical human behaviour, more like typical Generation Moron behaviour from some commentards trying to show off their intellectual superiority on here and failing miserably.

I too have used CCleaner since the days it was known as CrapCleaner (the name didn't upset its home UK market but was eventually deemed too much for sensitive souls across the Pond) and of course, it isn't malware.

CCleaner started life more than a decade ago as a quick and easy cleaner of crap. It still is. Additional tools have been bundled in over the years, including a 'registry cleaner' whose value (to me) has always seemed pointless, as well as hazardous, but which others seem to like: their choice. The CCleaner version I run is the freebie, not the paid-for, and is old enough to have cobwebs all over it. But it works fast to clear caches, cookies and what have you whenever required, and plays nicely with my Malwarebytes Premium, Panda AV, and WinPatrol. It has always erred on the safe side, and though out-performed, as it were, by the only other utility of this type I've ever bothered with -- Kerish Doctor -- it has, unlike Kerish, never mis-identified any of the clutter.

I'm sorry Piriform has sold out to Avast because it's the end of an era and past experience of Avast has taught me to keep well clear of any of its bloatware. I'll keep on though with CCleaner 5.13.5460 which, as far as I'm aware, is still available on software archival sites, and leave the Generation Moron representatives on here to continue on with their own condemnation of a product about which they very clearly know absolutely sod all.

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Oracle has to pay top sales rep stiffed out of $250,000, US court rules

VulcanV5

Punitively yours . . .

Oracle is not contending that its employee didn't -- by her own hard work -- win this contract. Nor is it disputing that she worked on this deal for two YEARS (and six months) to achieve it. On which basis, then, Felicity has been a model employee.

In response to that, Oracle has sought to breach the contract it had with her; intimidate her with legal action which Oracle can easily afford but which she could not (because no-one can ever be certain they'll succeed against a deep-pockets corporation's lawyers); subject her to sustained stress in consequence of that deliberate intimidation.

I don't know enough about the Law to know what she can do now, but were it me, I'd be looking to bring an action against Oracle for punitive damages.

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WannaCry kill-switch hero Marcus Hutchins collared by FBI on way home from DEF CON

VulcanV5

Re: And that, ladies & gentlemen ..

Fair's fair: mental healthcare in the USA is better resourced and prioritised than it ever has been. Not too long ago, the deranged and dysfunctional were shunned by Society and forced to exist in cardboard boxes beneath railroad and highway bridges. Now, however, Society reaches out to such individuals and, in the case of the most severely incapacitated, provides attractive accommodation in Washington and a salary too.

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Largest ever losses fail to dent Tesla's bulging order book

VulcanV5
Happy

Re: The future is diesel

Wow. Eleven down-voters took your post seriously. . .

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WannaCrypt victims paid out over $140k in Bitcoin to get files unscrambled

VulcanV5
Facepalm

Re: Eh?

If you knew anything at all about North Korea -- which you all too obviously don't -- you'd know it was a new Reich dressed up in Communist Party clothes controlled by a viciously mad elite which terrorises its citizens into submission and consigns entire families to punishment camps (aka concentration camps) from which they're unlikely ever to return. Like Nazi Germany, and Hitler in particular, its contempt for its own ordinary people is exceeded only by its adoration of military might. It is not merely the lunatic in the global room but the homicidal lunatic in the room, one which believes it can do and say anything and, indeed, does precisely that.

Your question : 'What could a well funded capable nation achieve in terms of havoc if this is what we can expect of North Korea?' manages to betray your own epic ignorance whilst answering itself at the same time, because North Korea, lunatic state thought it may be, is 'well funded' and is 'capable' -- capable, unfortunately, of anything.

For now, the lunatic is waging cyber war. It needs to be neutralised before its madness takes it from the virtual to the real because the lesson of history is that if you want to protect your future, you don't sit on your arse doing nothing in the present. Capable, well-funded, and dangerously deranged though it is, North Korea is one against the many. The many should be hitting back. Hard.

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Microsoft hits new low: Threatens to axe classic Paint from Windows 10

VulcanV5
Happy

Microsoft. Deprecated.

The preening pomposity of this grubby software company as well as its CEO's delusions of adequacy continue to amuse. Generation Moron knows no better than to accept -- and dutifully parrot -- the Redmond vernacular, but for the rest of us MS English is exactly that: MicroShite. How entertaining it is, then, that the latest news from the 'campus' is another 'deprecation', this time by its 'Creator' tat.

It'll certainly be a loss to the world of comedy when 'Apocalypse' overwhelms.

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When we said don't link to the article, Google, we meant DON'T LINK TO THE ARTICLE!

VulcanV5

Absolutely right. The Law does allow for the full discharge of all guilt and the wiping clean of the slate. Google's double-click. . . doesn't.

What also escapes the attention of many is that surprise, surprise, history did not begin with the Internet. The overwhelming majority of those whose crimes or conduct resulted in public penalty or public vilification before Google came along are well out of reach of online memory banks, whereas those penalised / vilified in a post-Google world are less advantaged.

There was a time -- ah: I remember it well! -- when not everyone was famous for 15 minutes, still less -- if Facebook users are anything to go by -- forever.

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Uber sued after digging up medical records of woman raped by driver

VulcanV5

Short short

I always thought Uber had been set up in order for its stock to be shorted. I can't think of any other explanation for a pattern of corporate disasters that would adversely impact a disgusting enterprise run in disgusting style. One or two, maybe even three, disasters could be accidental. But a seemingly unending series of them?? The ludicrously valued $68 beeellion Uber gives every appearance of this being all programmed in.

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Scheming copyright scam lawyer John Steele disbarred in Illinois

VulcanV5

AC Law . . .

The names of founding partners were sufficient enough, once upon a time, to appear on the shingle. But then TV came along and every grubby little legal outfit suddenly wanted to be an LA Law, a Boston Law. The proliferation of firms with 'Law' in their titles was exceeded only by the proliferation of posturing practitioners.

'Prenda Law' never worked that well though as a title, so will soon be forgotten. The British version of a sleazy scamming lying low-life scumbag shyster outfit was, however, a bit more memorable: AC: Law. Cryptic. Authoritative. Makes you think of a big outfit rather than the one-man band operating out of a London accommodation address that it actually was.

As to what happened to that, its repellent toad of a proprietor Andrew Crossley, was in 2012 finally subject to the full sanction of the UK's Solicitors' Regulation Authority, this after a shit-storm of complaints to the SRA about Crossley's nationwide pursuit of alleged illegal file downloaders. To its lasting credit, El Reg was amongst the most vociferous of Crossley's critics.

It took the SRA more than two years to decide that Crossley was a disgrace to the legal profession. The SRA was so totally and completely. . . appalled by Crossley's behaviour that it suspended him from practice. . . for all of two years. The reaction then of many here in the UK was the same as the reaction now of many in the USA to the John Steele situation, viz: that nothing short of barring the scumbag from ever practicising law again is appropriate.

But where disgraced lawyers are concerned, 'punishment' doesn't really happen. Look at AC:Law. Look at Andrew Crossley. The 'profession' which the, uh, fearless SRA once said he had brought into public disrepute has long since looked after him. Because it always looks after its own. As in the UK then, so, too, in the USA: there's no reason to think that John Steele will be treated any differently. Like Crossley. . . he'll be back.

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Comey was loathed by the left, reviled by the right – must have been doing something right

VulcanV5

Re: FBI in turmoil -- you know that, I know that--

Slightly OTT, I know, but BBC journalism is an oxymoron. I've just Red Buttoned the Sunday news index and found in 'World News' that a, uh, 'tourist bus' fell off a cliff. Fell off though, presumably after a failure of equilibrium a la The Italian Job. Anyway. Large vehicle, overwhelmed by gravity.

Read on though, and 23 people in said large vehicle are dead. Oh. Read even further though, and it will be discovered that (a) the crash happened in Turkey and (b) 'no foreign tourists' are amongst the dead. Now, had this been in the UK:

'Dozens Killed In Bus Crash Horror As Cyberspace Attack Continues'

or, in the USA:

'At Least 90 Dead In Bus Crash Terror Attack As Leaderless FBI Reels In Shock'.

Heigh-ho. To think that, back in 1929, Claude Cockburn's attempted (but unpublished) Times headline of "Small Earthquake In Chile, Not Many Dead" was journalistic humour at its most mordant, whereas now 'Bus Falls Off Cliff But It Was Only Full Of Turks' is BBC journalism at its best.

At £340,000 a year, BBC news supremo James Harding clearly deserves every British penny stumped up by UK licence payers..

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VulcanV5

Re: Comey was a coward for not throwing Hilldog under the bus

FFS, Donald, if you really feel you have to comment on here, couldn't you get Sphincter to at least check yer spelink furst?????

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Facebook is abusive. It's time to divorce it

VulcanV5

Very sad . . .

'Tis always sad news to hear of a longterm relationship busting up. Sadder still to hear that the bust-up involves a human being on one side and a machine on t'other, because anyone resorting to a keyboard and monitor screen in quest of attention and/or affection and/or respect must be truly desperate. The fact that there are many millions of 'em in Generation Vapid only makes the situation more distressing. And yet, and yet . . .

. . . Who cares? And why should we? Fodderbook is for the fodder of this world in much the same way that turkeys are for Christmas and Thanksgiving, the only difference being that turkeys have more intelligence.

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Don't install our buggy Windows 10 Creators Update, begs Microsoft

VulcanV5
Unhappy

Enough to shake your religious belief . . .

Please say it isn't true, that The Creator doesn't know what It is doing. That God the Almighty Nadella is fallible. For verily, the tribes of the XP and the Vista and the Seven -- though not the Eight, put quickly to the sword of the Profit Balmer, and definitely not the Nine, as it was never begat -- verily were those tribes led into the Land of Ten, whether they wished to abide there or not, and were told that it was good, more milk, more honey, more telemetry than humankind had ever before seen.

But now. . . Now? The Creator is having problems, creating? Un-be-liev-able. For it is writ that though the waters of the Red Sea shall divide, never will the house of the Red Mond come apart, nor all its works from version 4.5a on. The Creator dwelleth therein. And all is good, and will so forever remain. . .

. . . At least until it's so fucked up that the heathen are at the Gates, and all profits have fled.

The Creator. A delusion not now coming to a theater near you.

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Boss swore by 'For Dummies' book about an OS his org didn't run

VulcanV5

How to ensure a bad departmental boss becomes an even lousier CEO . . .

. . . do exactly what happened here.

The worst boss I ever encountered was an aggressive moron who knew nothing, did nothing, and was well on his way to the top of the organisation when he was stopped in his tracks. Or, er, by his tracks.

He was stupid enough to leave his office unattended at the precise moment when a localized excess of gravity overwhelmed and some documents in his in-tray fell to the floor and had to be retrieved by an employee who happened to be passing by at the time. One of the print-outs was the moron's CV, which he'd been updating. It included:

'I am an individual whose leadership has always had at its core the nurturing and encouragement of others. I firmly believe that all employees have within them the potential to achieve more, both for themselves and for their employer. My commitment to bringing out the best in them has been good for them and good for business.'

In other words: though I'm a dickhead who knows feck-all, I am bright enough to have pliable idiots working for me who'll make sure everything runs properly so long as I occasionally pat them on the head and say good boy or good girl.

The guy's file was safely restored to his in tray after determination had been made that no further material of value to him had been squeezed out of a drawer or disappeared under the desk. Realizing, now, how much their boss believed in nurturing the talents of others, those others were encouraged to see what else they might do to fulfill their own potential.

He was fired soon afterwards, it being the case that Local Government is especially sensitive about departmental heads upon whose office computer is found copious amounts of non-municipal adult content. Moral of the story: forget de-bugging. Try destroying.

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As you stare at the dead British Airways website, remember the hundreds of tech staff it laid off

VulcanV5

Re: I realise it's simplistic but....

It's not "a few more quid" you'd be paying, but a LOT more Euros. Or, in old money: pesetas. Because British Airways is about as British as paella. Same way that energy supplier Scottish Power is anything but an outstanding regional enterprise, rather an outfit with the worst customer service record of any large company in the UK.

Spanish Airways and Spanish Power are infused with an identical corporate culture, which is to slash costs, treat customers with contempt, and in the event of formal or informal censure, issue a grovelling apology then set off and do the same thing all over again. And again.

Spanish Power's most noticeable tactic has been to 'adopt' a leading charity, shove some money into it, and then run full page newspaper ads extolling its nobility. I now await a similar advertising campaign from Spanish Airways.

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Put down your coffee and admire the sheer amount of data Windows 10 Creators Update will slurp from your PC

VulcanV5
Unhappy

'Owner'???

As far as Mr Nadella is concerned, the words 'owner' and 'Microsoft' are synonymous.

As far as Microsoft is concerned, the words 'user' and 'addict' are synonymous.

And an addict obviously has no say in the quality of the supply nor in the practices of the supplier.

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Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

VulcanV5
Coat

Re: Self inflicted wounds well earned

If you re-read the quote you've used, you'll realise it can't be attributed to an asshat CS rep. Because no asshat CS rep spends 2 years creating an Internet of Shite device and a forum for the discerning to engage in polite discourse about the opening, and closing, of garage doors.

That's what an entrepreneur does.

Or in this case, a power-crazed entrypreneur who fancies himself as an exitpreneur . . . before becoming an ex-entrepreneur.

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VulcanV5
Unhappy

Please say it's not true . . .

. . . that in America, they actually have a forum about the opening and closing of garage doors????

I mean: sherioushly???????

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Bloke whose drone was blasted out of sky by angry dad loses another court battle for compo

VulcanV5

Call out the cops . . .

@ TheVogon: You certainly have some odd notions about the role of the police:

"Sure, but I would also expect them to be arrested for assault and criminal damage and the court to order them to pay to fix said damage. They should have called to police to address the original issue..."

They should also have been prepared to wait for, let's say, two to six weeks whilst the police were busy dealing with other unambiguous crimes, after which time a nice community relations officer would've dropped by to say that, amazingly enough, we can't find anything in Law which stops you from blasting to smithereens the means whereby a possible paedophile gets off on viewing under-age children to their inevitable distress.

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'Clearance sale' shows Apple's iPad is over. It's done

VulcanV5

Arsus

Been a lonnnnng time since I saw the word "superior" and "Asus" coupled together in the same sentence. Certainly doesn't do much for this article's credibility.

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What should password managers not do? Leak your passwords? What a great idea, LastPass

VulcanV5

The LastPass blog referenced by El Reg is notable for the company's inability to describe how its product can be managed as well as uncritical eulogies from LastPass users oddly sanguine about the way things have gone. But perhaps they pay for the 'premium' edition.

Nothing in my LastPass 3.3.4 installation allows for updating. Nothing in the LastPass security blog article describes that installation: "please check the LastPass Icon > More options > About LastPass to check your version". But "More options" doesn't exist.

If LastPass can't even get that right in a security post, God alone knows what hope there might be of it getting anything else right of rather greater complexity. I note that The Register has re-christened this as 'LostPass'. Well said, dear vulture -- and in my case, how apt.

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Microsoft cloud TITSUP: Skype, Outlook, Xbox, OneDrive, Hotmail down

VulcanV5

There seems to be something wrong with your computer . . .

Wife and I had an outlook.com email address in our names. Like gmail and ymail, it was synched to deliver to us whenever called upon by our desktop client. The way Microsoft had it working was as follows:

Monday morning, outlook emails are delivered. Tuesday afternoon, they're not: no server connection possible. Wednesday lunch, everything OK, Wednesday night, oops, big red X plastered over the outlook account, no server connection possible. Thursday: no server connection all day. Friday: everything working all day. Saturday: working half a day. Sunday: big red X, 'please check your configuration'.

This state of affairs occurred throughout November. December. And January. Microsoft's considered advice was that something seems to be going wrong somewhere on your computer. Told that actually, it isn't our outlook.com address configuration on this computer which changes by the hour but Microsoft's ability to actually deliver anything which changes by the hour. Why might that be, Mr Redmond? Microsoft's response: check your configuration, re-install, re-test, blah blah etc blah. If you require further help, please visit our forum.

We no longer have an outlook.com email address, though still keep a barge-pole to ensure that any contact with any other of Microsoft's superb services is pushed resolutely aside.

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Spammy Google Home spouts audio ads without warning – now throw yours in the trash

VulcanV5

Re: The modern way?

Pretty freakin' useless at making hardware products, too. The Google Pixel C tablet remains so supreme an example of moronic engineering that owners have flooded the company's support threads with complaints since the day the crap was issued. Google's response has been to call upon a Partner to provide advice on Flower Arranging In The Home.

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VulcanV5
Happy

Movie news

Disney's tale of the Beauty of a brave do-no-evil Internet search engine being devoured by the unthinking Beast of monetization is fun for all. And while we're on the subject of your day and your family, did you know that DuckDuckGo fucks up Google? (This isn't an ad, by the way, but news selectively sourced from one of our partners which we believe is of great relevance to you and your entire life.)

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UK watchdog to probe political campaigns trading personal info

VulcanV5
Unhappy

So if it's in the papers, it must be true???

The ICO is investigating a company . . . because it read something in The Observer newspaper? Because everything anyone ever reads in a newspaper has to be true?

And especially, The Observer, sister paper of The Guardian, famous for its World Exclusive report on how Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn couldn't get a seat on a train and only afterwards realised that not only was the story entirely untrue, but that the "reporter" it so innocently by-lined on the story was actually a Corbyn aide hiding behind a pseudonym (apparently, anyone can get anything printed on The Guardian's front page; you just submit whatever you feel like, under whatever name you like, and, er, that's it: you're A Journalist.)

Ah well. The ICO's faith in the printed word is really. . . touching. It might, however, be better all round if the ICO paid less attention to crap newspaper articles and more to actual facts and actual figures -- in this instance, the facts and figures held on file by the UK's Electoral Commission, a body which -- surprise, surprise -- is the official watchdog on UK elections (as distinct from, er, The Observer newspaper.)

The Electoral Commission will be able to pass on to the ICO a detailed, audited statement of accounts received from the Leave campaign which shows that AggregateIQ, a small, specialist Canadian company based in downtown Victoria, was paid £3m for its research and marketing services.

This, of course, is in complete contrast to the firm cited by The Observer and now being investigated by the ICO: Cambridge Analytica, whose spokesperson, says The Register, told The Register:

"Cambridge Analytica did not do any work (paid or unpaid) for the Leave.EU campaign. In 2015 the company was in discussions to potentially work with them. That work did not go ahead."

So: Cambridge Analytica says it didn't do any paid work for Leave. Cambridge Analytica says it didn't do any unpaid work for Leave. AggregateIQ says it did £3millionsworth of work for Leave. The Electoral Commission confirms that. But hey: no need for the ICO to take any notice: if a newspaper says something quite different, then it must be true -- so let's go spend a few £100ks on an investigation. . . into the wrong company.

Be interesting to discover from El Reg how that investigation progresses.

Be even more interesting to learn from El Reg just what is the aggregate IQ of the UK's Information Commissioner's Office -- many of us have already made our own assessment, based on the ICO's glorious track record, but further evidence is always worthy of consideration.

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COP BLOCKED: Uber app thwarted arrests of its drivers by fooling police with 'ghost cars'

VulcanV5
Paris Hilton

Uber allies

Seems a bit harsh to criticise a benevolent company which here in the UK employs so many of our residents, pays a vast amount of corporate tax to the national purse, and forks out so much in the way of Employers' National Insurance contributions to help fund this country's welfare and healthcare systems.

I don't have the actual figures to hand but I'm sure they're out there. Somewhere.

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EE brings 1,000 call centre jobs to UK and Ireland

VulcanV5
Mushroom

Being shamefully, appallingly, politically incorrect . . .

Amazing that something as prosaic as a freakin' Call Center can pitch you into the world of political correctness where what you're allowed to even think, still less allowed to actually say, is governed by the code of the self-righteous virtue signallers.

I had to ring BT support once, though only once, for an entirely incomprehensible conversation with a call centre representative somewhere in India. I couldn't understand a word he was saying.

You can look at this in one of two ways: an issue of fault, or an issue of cause. The PC view is that it's all about fault, and in this case, a fault that's all mine, because I'm secretly a racist. Or maybe, not so secretly. My view is it's about cause: what possible cause could be served by any company handing over its interface comms to agents with whom customer communications are pretty much destined to be mutually incoherent? No prizes for getting the answer right.

But offshore call support isn't the only thing which leaves me open to being accused of burning crosses in my garden. Offshore email support is another, because time and again written exchanges I may be compelled to undertake turn out to be with customer reps whose gender escapes me. It's not that I'm a stickler for formality, just that it'd be nice to know if I'm dealing with a male obstructionist or a female obstructionist. But then, it's all my fault; I should be an expert on the forenames and family names of everyone resident in India.

Bringing customer comms onshore doesn't much help either, seeing as how it's which part of which UK shore that's important here. I have friends who're Scottish but from (I think) the lowlands. By contrast, very often I find myself talking to someone who must've been a dialect coach on Braveheart, the accent so broad that only one spoken word in 10 is intelligible.

But again. 'S my fault. I'm not supposed to say that I don't understand the Scots CS rep, nice person though he or she may identifiably be, any more than I'm not supposed to say, I don't understand the Indian CS rep, nice person though he or she may unidentifiably be. I'm not supposed to say any of that because what I'm exhibiting is the racist intolerance of a white English middle-aged male who should be downright ashamed of the way his ancestors subjugated the people of Scotland, the people of India.

Above all: 's my fault for being a, a. . . customer.

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'Hey, Homeland Security. Don't you dare demand Twitter, Facebook passwords at the border'

VulcanV5

When a lunatic gets elected . . .

. . . it was said by some, in advance of the November election, that even if a complete mad man was voted into The White House, enough checks and balances existed in the form of expert advisers, experienced politicos in both parties, and the sacrosanct Constitution itself to ensure that the lunatic did not turn the country into a complete mental asylum.

'S funny. The way things work out.

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Two words, Mozilla: SPEED! NOW! Quit fiddling and get serious

VulcanV5

Finding work for idle hands . . .

. . . is only worthwhile if idle brains aren't connected to them. Yet time and time and time again, awareness of that doesn't dawn on the managers of product development in the world of software because of all the idle brains out there, theirs are the ones most likely to be inert.

Firefox is little different to any other organisation deluded by the brilliance of its own self-perceived talents into pushing out products which the customer *must* have for no other reason than the unnecessary amount of time and unnecessary amount of expenditure which the producer has incurred.

Ribbon, anyone? The vast redundant bloat of Microsoft Office? Nah. Thought not. My docs never needed such preposterous doxtoring; my Office Professional (sic) is as everyday usable now as it was from its installation in the last century.

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Parents have no idea when kidz txt m8s 'KMS' or '99'

VulcanV5

BURMA

Ah, those were the days . . . when kids didn't understand what their parents were saying. (And when the former were never to be heard by the latter . . . and preferably, not seen, either.)

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Streetmap loses appeal against Google Maps dominance judgement

VulcanV5

And I'll raise you . . .

My grandmother could remember her parents' first wireless.

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Motivational speaker in the slammer after HPE applies for court order

VulcanV5

Surely, anyone who admits to being "a motivational speaker" should be behind bars anyway? A minimum term of 3 years with an extra 5 for being a member of LinkedIn.

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Hitachi ponies up $3.5m for laptop battery rip-off

VulcanV5

Re: Assuming...

On BBC Radio 4's well-respected 'You and Yours' programme t'other lunchtime, it was reported that a 2014 UK government initiative intended to help individuals repeatedly targeted by postal scams was failing miserably. The consumer protection scheme was created in response to findings that the names and addresses of around 10,000 individuals in the UK -- the overwhelming majority elderly, living alone, and likely to be suffering from some age-related illness or other -- had finished up on target lists bought and sold by criminal gangs, as a result of which they were being subjected to repeated, multiple scam attempts.

The initiative called upon local authority Trading Standards officers to visit local victims and set up a contact arrangement whereby the victims could provide TS with whatever scam materials they were receiving. The arrangement would not only aid investigations into the scammers, it would also reassure the victims that official help was readily to hand.

A check into how well the scheme was working showed that in the two years it has been running, only 120 victims have so far been visited. The failure was explained by a representative of the Trading Standards Institute as a case of the government on one hand making lofty promises about UK consumer protection and, on the other hand, cutting the resources upon which those promises depended for their fulfillment.

The government, said the representative, had abolished so many UK trading standards posts that the total today is exactly half what it was five years ago.

I seem to remember that a particular politician and a particular political party of recent memory made much of something called The Big Society. What wasn't made clear was that this referred to The Big Society of Scammers and Scumbags. Perhaps we should've asked.

1
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Happy birthday: Jimbo Wales' sweet 16 Wikipedia fails

VulcanV5
Paris Hilton

A fact disputed cannot stand . . .

"You should never believe everything you read on the Internet." Abraham Lincoln.

3
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Microsoft quietly emits patch to undo its earlier patch that broke Windows 10 networking

VulcanV5

Re: Pejorative or what?

"What is the difference between Microsoft distributing (or some other neutral word to describe what they did) and "sneaking out" a patch? One is journalism and the other is propaganda."

Nope. One is the use of terminology appropriate to a particular company's ethics, established practices, and repute.

The other is the use of terminology appropriate to a particular company's ethics, established practices, and repute.

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1
VulcanV5
Flame

If Microsoft was to be treated as a hostile country, not a hostile company . . .

Amazing, the way Microsoft is allowed to get away with whatever its ruling elite wish. With a financial turnover the size of a small nation's economy, there's no reason why Microsoft could not be viewed as a hostile country -- and dealt with as such. Its track record over recent years has been to:

1) Invade millions of computers worldwide;

2) Install software the content of which it refuses to divulge;

3) Place telemetry on those computers so as to monitor user behaviour;

4) Attempt by systematic fraud to replace a computer owner's OS of choice with one of its choosing (and in many thousands of instances, achieve exactly that objective);

5) Repeatedly disrupt the operation of a user's computer with secret unsought modifications;

6) Consistently lie about its practices.

This latest example is one of the most telling, because no legitimate reason exists for Microsoft to be messing around with a computer user's internet connectivity. Illegitimate reasons, however, abound. . .

Invasive. Secretive. Disruptive. And dedicated to covert surveillance . . . If Microsoft were to be treated as a hostile country rather than the hostile company it now so clearly is, there'd be plenty of talk on both sides of the Atlantic about how best to deal with it: disrupting its international trade; freezing its assets; putting its leadership on travel black-lists, etc etc.

Looking at today's mainstream meeja headlines though, all I see is yet more tut-tutting about that awful Mr Putin, that nasty Russia, and how it keeps hacking politicians' emails. I have yet to see any reportage of that malignant nation state called Microsoft, one which after hacking computers -- never mind emails -- for so long is now actually breaking 'em.

Plenty on here have said, fuck Microsoft. Seems to me, prosecuting Microsoft would be considerably more satisfying.

4
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Lessons from the Mini: Before revamping or rebooting anything, please read this

VulcanV5

Re: Nice article...

I actually thought this article was going to warn of the disaster that awaits when a product of and for its age is exhumed in commercial hope of it becoming a product of and for a later era. Instead, this piece is, inexplicably, a paean of praise, one which makes me think El Reg should maybe stick to matters computing and leave matters motoring to others.

That the "new" Mini does indeed reflect the vapid and the bloated so characteristic of the modern era is nothing to celebrate: it's just a bloody monstrous wagon with a late middle-age waistline, in no way resonant of an ancestor affordable by the many rather than the few and enriched with a personality that no amount of Frankensteinian engineering can ever replicate.

If anything is to learned from the story of the Mini it's that unless an original is going to be re-born with its charisma, character and cleverness embodied and enhanced, then don't bother; the real "lesson" here is Fiat, with its re-born and revitalised 500, not BMW's flaccid failure.

4
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Today the web was broken by countless hacked devices – your 60-second summary

VulcanV5

Re: Maybe..

" It also becomes illegal to offer it for sale so if it's on sale from a local vendor then they get a visit from Trading Standards or whatever in that particular jurisdiction. If it's being offered for sale on eBay from China or wherever then eBay gets a visit."

In the UK, Local Authorities run Trading Standards departments. Also in the UK, central government (i.e., taxpayer) funding of Local Authorities dwindles year on year -- as do the number of staff employed as Trading Standards officers. Quite how this ever-diminishing number of consumer protection specialists is meant to visit every vendor of unsafe cheap Chinese tat, whether sold on a real-world market stall in hundreds of towns throughout the country, or the virtual auction house of eBay, is beyond me. Using Denial of Commonsense as an approach to the issue of Denial of Service ain't going to help at all.

1
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Inside our three-month effort to attend Apple's iPhone 7 launch party

VulcanV5

Rubbish, Mr Cook.

1
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VulcanV5
Unhappy

The problem here is . . .

. . . is that Alan Hely works for a small start-up tech company which lacks the financial resources to shield itself against potentially damaging publicity from giant media corporations such as Vulture Inc. Nor, because of its puny size, can Mr Hely's employers afford the staffing costs of a professionally-run Department of External Affairs, or even hire in a single individual with the faintest idea of how corporate Public Relations actually works.

Though this is all a bit distressing for those, like me, with an innate goodwill towards any little business hoping one day to be a big business, there's nothing we can do about it. Even a megabucks media colossus like Vulture Inc can't do anything either, for the well-nigh heroic benevolence shown by Kieren McCarthy has obviously been in vain.

For now, and for the foreseeable future, this frail, tremulous Californian enterprise will just have to struggle on, not only against the twin obstacles of lack of working capital and absence of communications expertise, but also against the reputational damage wrought by that unfortunate, though entirely accurate, marketing sobriquet to which it is so memorably linked:

APPLE. Frightened To The Core. ©

3
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Exploding Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phablets recalled immediately

VulcanV5
Meh

Kudos to Samsung. Your turn to 'fess up now, Google?

My wife needed a replacement for her much-loved much-used Asus Transformer 101 which, at 5½ years old, was fading fast.

Windows 10 showed just how deep is the contempt in which Microsoft holds all its customers so we've happily reciprocated by resolving never to buy anything from Redmond again. Asus has gotten into bed with Microsoft and in any event nowadays appears to be competing for a worldwide record in lousy-at-best, non-existent-most-often, customer service. So. Nix Asus. Sampling Samsung's and Sony's tablets left us mildly interested but nothing more. Finally, then, we decided on Google's "own" product, the Pixel C.

If you read the rave reviews of a tech media so far up Mountain View's hindquarters that it can barely see to write, you'll realise that the Pixel C is not merely the best thing since sliced bread, but the best thing since the creation of dough. If, however, you appreciate that you are a consumer and not a freebie-laden meeja hack, then you'll check Google's own forums to discover just how good the Pixel C is . . . and when you've done that, browse the ether for further news of its distinctive wifi capability. Or rather, distinctive incapability. And then harken to Google's . . . silence.

Kudos, then, to Samsung for reacting to a PR disaster in the best way possible . . . and none at all to Google for doing nothing in hope that its own bad news will just go away when it's actually potential customers who go away. Goodbye Google, hello Apple. The wife's iPad Pro is just the Jobs, thank you.

2
2

TalkTalk's appeal against paltry ICO data breach fine thrown out

VulcanV5

Re: TalkTalk's appeal against etc etc

"Talk Talk won't be able to restore their reputation by appealing fines for data breaches." You being serious? At this stage in its life cycle,TalkTalk doesn't give a bugger about "reputation". All it cares about is fishing the moron pool to exhaustion. When there's a final irreversible decline in the number of morons signing up for its services, then and only then will it think about 'reputation' -- as in, how much value might be attached to the TalkTalk name, now that the business is up for sale. . .

0
0

Tim Cook: EU lied about Apple taxes. Watch out Ireland, this is a coup!

VulcanV5
Happy

*Headlines You'll Never See: EU Commission Investigates Luxembourg*

You do have to wonder at what kind of alternative reality so many morally superior commentards are living in. So let's try some facts. The first duty of Business is to stay in business. The first duty of Government is to govern in its citizens' best interests. Shareholders are entitled to play hell when a company fails to legally minimize its tax burden. Citizens are entitled to play hell when a Government fails to make the country in which they live, open to business.

Apple has some of the brightest and best in-house legal and taxation counsel in the world because it pays them some of the biggest salaries in the world. Governments -- in this case, the Irish Government -- can afford no such expenditure. So . . along comes Apple armed with news of loopholes which regulatory agencies have been too stupid / too lazy to close. And along comes the Irish government, which now that it has been alerted to the existence of such loopholes, must decide whether to close 'em and drive business away or leave 'em open and continue on as before.

Finally. . . along comes an unelected self-serving hubristic bunch of empire-building clowns seeking to butt in on the sovereign decisions of a sovereign state -- the self same "Commission" that, surprise, surprise, continues to do nothing about the blatant abuses institutionalised in another member state called, er, Luxembourg, which happens to have, um, a certain linkage to an obscure bloke who goes by the name of Jean-Claude Juncker.

Well: who'd a-thought it?

The sheer idiocy of the Commission's behaviour really doesn't surprise, even if it'll take some beating, not least its "finding" that Apple must repay $13 billion in back taxes to, er. . . who? Mr Juncker? Apple certainly can't pay it to the Irish Government because it has never earned anything there that's remotely like the gross qualifying figure for a $13 billion bill. The Irish Government cannot "collect" the $13 billion because under international law it has no authority to do so. The EU Commission cannot collect the $13 billion either, because though the EU elilte would dearly like the world to believe that they're in charge of a sovereign State. . . they ain't.

As one of those who voted Leave on June 23rd because I've grown sick, weary and tired of a faux country with its 'national' flag, 'national' anthem, multiple 'Presidents', multiple 'Parliaments', overseas 'embassies', 'national' currency and dreams of a 'national' army, it's delicious to see yet another nail being self-hammered into the EU coffin . . .

1
4

Breaking 350 million: What's next for Windows 10?

VulcanV5

Next for Windows 10 . . .

"What's next for Windows 10?" The Windows-9-but-we'd-better-not-call-it-that giveaway was less a marketing exercise as an experiment in materials science, the materials being millions of non-techie users, the science being all about pliability: just how far can those users be made to bend to Microshaft's will? If pressure upon them is progressively increased, will they bend yet further -- or break?

For all those who bent over fully to take their Microshafting, the next experiment will be in paid-for updates; after all, their pliability is already established, and so their wallets are within easy reach. For all those who either broke and said farewell, Redmond, or flatly refused to be experimented upon in the first place, what's next for Windows 10, or Microshaft, is of passing interest: a business so contemptuous of its customers is one to be forgotten rather than ever to be forgiven.

2
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Corbyn lied, Virgin Trains lied, Harambe died

VulcanV5
FAIL

Could you post this for a fourth time?

I never thought I'd feel sorry for Corbyn but having seen your repeated efforts on here to assist him, I now do. Given his propensity for self-inflicted disasters -- like the blatant deletion of every reference he ever made to the EU from his online blog, as well as his inconveniently still extant televised condemnation of the EU during his September 2015 leadership campaign -- the man clearly needs as many professional advisers as can be hired from all the three quids forked out by Labour Party visiting tourists. The inept bunch who arranged his Rammed Train -- "rammed" though: good God, they can't even speak English -- expose clearly aren't professionals and as for you and your idea that innocence gathers Momentum via the repetition of the same denial, well . . .

Go on then. Post the same thing for the fourth time, will you? Just in case we didn't get your propaganda piece the first time around.

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