Posts by D

I'd watch him devotedly

just on the off-chance that he was going to beat the crap out of someone on air. Get rid of Ant and Dec and bring on Dudu Topaz to boost those viewing figures.

Paris has a "hands-on" approach to staying famous.

Seeing god on a marmite toast

is just natures way of telling you to take your medication.

Nothing to add.....

but Paris, because she knows what to do in this kind of emergency.

If the boss asks

I read the register to keep myself up to date with what's happening in IT. I just hope he doesn't examine the spyware logs too closely and find out that I spend 90% of my time here keeping myself up to date with Ms Hilton's reflections on life and all the rest of the irrelevant dross in Odds and Sods.

Paris, because she's really why I'm here.

Prostitution, cannabis, binge drinking,

high fat foods, gambling, the essential ingredients of a good night out, have all been targeted by Brown's government.

I think we should let Paris run the country.

Can I get AOL on my i-phone?

I was trying to think what the single most annoying thing anyone could say to me was, "Can I get AOL on my i-phone?" would probably push all my buttons so effectively that I'd be driven to beating them to death with the nearest blunt object, preferably something ;with an "i-" prefix in it's name.

Perhaps I just need to cut back on my caffeine. Mine's the one with the wrap around arms.

"although there is no suspicion of foul play"

They made a necklace out of granny's skull and then went all web 2.0 on it as a trophy, surely that's enough to make the police slightly suspicious of the whole thing.

You can see why finding these numbers have such a cult following.

No, I really can't.

Paris because she'd rather suck dick than waste time on Mersenne Primes.

There are at least 100* more copies of Vista than Ubuntu out there

It really is about time that the linux devotees started asking themselves why they can't give away a free product, at least to all IT professionals who "should know better".

All I want is a stable OS that will give me browsing and applications similar to Dreamweaver and Photoshop. I tried Ubuntu, it had nothing like dreamweaver and the OS ran painfully slowly and kept hanging. I looked around for reasons why but after six hours gave up. I could have persevered, and have no doubt that if I had it would have eventually run at blinding speed. But why should I bother? I was able to reinstall XP in less than an hour and it worked just fine, I never use more than 10% of processor capacity so efficiency isn't an issue. I run thunderbird, firefox and open office as default apps, so have no aversion at all to OSS.

I'm not interested in learning the guts of a PC operating system, any more than I'm interested in the operating system that my washing machine or playstation 3 run on, I just want to switch the bloody thing on and start working just like the washing machine and the PS3. The fact that some anoraks no doubt think that I'm "lame" for giving in so easily does not bother me in the slightest. If linux can't win people like me over it has got sod all chance of success in the open market.

There's no reason why linux has to be so inaccessible, it's just a reflection of the mentality of the people who build it who seem to have no grasp of the needs of the average end user. Without a philosophy based around making it a turnkey solution linux is destined to remain a badge of geekiness and nothing more.

M4 are screwed

@Mike

I've got to join the chorus. I'm on XP SP3 and have yet to hear a single argument for moving to Vista. I've got the processing power and the memory on the machine, but don't see the rational in devoting all those resources to the operating system when I don't have to. I'll be with XP for a long time and after that I think me and M$ will be parting company Ubuntu gets nicer each time I look at it.

I've also recently moved over to open office. It's excellent, and gives me everything that I need in an office package. It's much easier to install and update because it's free. Once the public and small businesses catch on to this the only people who'll be buying office will be businesses with workflow systems built around M$. For everyone else there is no argument for spending money on an inferior product. I think M$ are screwed and the death of Vista is the beginning of the end.

Paris, because like Microsoft she's rapidly approaching he "best before" date.

Iraq's controversial decision to continue building a nuclear plant?

I'm pretty sure that was Iran's decision to build a nuclear reactor in Iran. Unless you know something that we don't?

we really need a wide eyed axe wielding penguin icon

to cope with this recent flurry of open source nut-job stories.

so to punish him, they're going to lock him in a cell with only

a bed and small table for company?

Paris, because I'd rather do a bike than a table any day.

I ate a smarter animal for breakfast

and really don't see the issue. Yes the police could have hung around feeding the beast chocolate and tried to make friends with it, maybe one of them could have taken it home and rehabilitated it. On the other hand as we kill thousands of equally smart animals daily for snacks, it seems fair to say that by even threatening to bite a copper this little fella had gone well across the line of good doggy behaviour and there is only one penalty for being a bad dog.

I want one of those pens

so I can while away my lunch hours sat outside a cafe, drink in hand watching the chaos that ensues.

This story is useless without pics

or at least a link to a site with some nice examples on it please.

Mines the dirty mac

38 Years, that'll be two years for hacking and 36 years

for having a dodgy middle eastern sounding name.

Hi folks, thanks for calling by and

welcome to the swimming pool of death.

Getting chavs to jump into pools of bleach could become a new national pastime.

"wasting disk space with large amounts of unnecessary lines in log files"

this may have been a concern 15 years ago. When did El Reg start hiring reporters from the Daily Fail?

Paris, because even she would know that it would take decades to fill a present day disk drive with server logs.

The new sysadmin should join him in jail for criminal negligence

He/she took over the job knowing that their predecessor had been frogmarched out of the building by security. Anyone with a minimum of competence would assume the worst and lock down the system, certainly not leaving any admin accounts with their original passwords.

Paris, because she knows what it's like to do hard time.

It really is time to stop voting for these people

we are only encouraging them and they just keep embarrassing themselves.

I find it deeply worrying

that I'm congratulating a tory online for doing anything other than ending his own life whilst at the same time I'm condemning the fascist labour government.

Can we please encourage all 600 + of these dipshits to resign, and get some people in who don't piss their pants and cancel our basic rights because some pratt sets fire to himself at an airport and gets punched in the gob. Back in the day we used to have competant terrorists like the IRA (funded by the USA), who really knew how to blow the shit out of a city and we still managed maintain most of our basic freedoms and right to privacy despite the fact that there was a much more significant threat to our lives and property.

The bar seems pretty high on this one

I admit that I've played over 48 hours myself straight through, but I did recognise it as an unhealthy practice and nearly got me dumped. Anyone spending more than 20 hours a week at an absolute maximum is in serious need of a life, by the time it gets to 50 they're beyond help.

Paris, because if you spend 50+ hours a week gaming, watching her online videos will be the nearest you get to having a girlfriend

There's quite a few claiming high IQs who don't even seem to have a grasp of basic maths

.... you may be a very smart person with a high IQ. However, as this study is making claims about trends within a population rather than individual absolute rules, the fact that you worship god/mohammed/sky pixies or whatever ridiculous bronze age superstition that you've latched onto because you can't cope with reality/your own mortality has no bearing on this other than to remind us that people can have a high IQ and still be gullible.

Mines the one with "heretic" on the back.

This is a none story

I've been working on and off for years with vulnerable adults, and CRB checks have been part of taking a new job for many years now. All they consist of is a PNC and Interpol check to confirm that you've never been successfully prosecuted for anything nasty, not just kiddy fiddling, but things like fraud and theft, violence against the person, animal cruelty etc. As many have already pointed out all this database will do is remove the need for multiple checks on one person, potentially saving a fortune for organisations like the NHS that have to do CRB checks every time someone moves to a new post.

It's a very sensible idea that involves no loss of privacy or rights for anyone involved. It really doesn't merit the knee jerk reactions that it got with at least two posters indicating that this was going to make them pack up and leave the country.

Paris, because she has a relaxed approach to privacy.

LIke most I'm dependant on expert opinions

however, both sides seem to have credible experts. The fact is that it could have been an inside job, it could have been a third party or it could have been Al Qaeda. I wouldn't dismiss anyone as an idiot for having any of those beliefs.

When I look at it in the context of the Bush administration and their actions since 11/9 it does start to sound plausible if not likely. I found the way that they identified the hijackers as just a ridiculous lie. (they found a passport underneath one of the towers, below burning wreckage of the aircraft). It seems clear that the government who should have still been trying to work out what was going on had made their minds up who was going to take the wrap for this, within an hour of the first plane hitting.

I also find it difficult to swallow that the billion dollar air defence network that protects US airspace wasn't working that day because they'd been sent off on a training exercise. Why was nobody ever roasted for letting this happen?

For me it boils down to Dubya and Cheney and whether I think that they're capable of lying, and taking innocent lives to further their own agendas.Well they certainly had no issues doing this when it came to Iraq and more than enough US troops have died in Iraq to show that they don't even have much regard for the lives of their own countrymen.

There's more than enough motive there as the US economy is being raped to pay Haliburton for their "logistical support" services in war zones. A few poeple are getting very rich out of all this, and I don't doubt for a second that Dubya is one of them.

I don't see anything to support all this New World Order claptrap though. But the best way to discredit a conspiracy theory is to link it to nutjobs like David Icke.

Overall I'd say that the evidence for an inside job is compelling enough to at least make it a possibility for anyone with an open mind.

it must be terrifying to be a Daily Mail reader

yesterday it was killer mosquitoes that were coming to the UK to kill us all, today a group of Arab goat herders in Afghanistan are planning to build a nuclear weapon. Oh I'm shitting myself already.

It would be nice to see the Daily Mail focus on something sensible rather than have a different horseman of the apocalypse charging across the front page each day. I don't mind the occasional Armageddon prophecy, the millennium bug was entertaining in it's day. However, I really can't be bothered with being forced to face the imminent collapse of Western civilization every single day.

The poor bastards who believe all this crap are living in a perpetual hell, expecting their homes to be overrun at any minute by hoodie wearing, skunk smoking moslem transgender asylum seekers on a Jihad. It's really not a humane way to treat the congenitally stupid. Scaring stupid people should become a criminal offence.

@What happenned to moderacy?

there's no such thing, it's a word that you've just made up.

"They cleared him, but in the course of the investigation......"

I think that people are not so much upset about the investigation, more the nature of it. I've got nothing to hide but I would be really pissed off to have a dozen coppers turn my home upside down and intrude on everything that I hold personal. I'd be even more pissed off if I had to spend six days living in a police cell whilst they found out I was an innocent law abiding citizen.

It may look cleaner and more humane

but there's not really much difference between tasering someone and giving them a bit of a kicking, apart from the fact that the good kicking would be a lot safer than a massive electrical shock. However, for some reason we stopped the police from being able to beat the crap out of someone or using other forms of excruciating pain when arresting people. Why was that?

The other point that nobody seems to have considered is that we really don't know what the long term effects of electrical shocks can be with humans. It's never really been seen as ethical to subject people to repeated electric shocks for the purposes of research.

We can say with certainty that unlike many other trauma's electric shocks are a completely new phenomena and one that there will have been no need to build evolutionary safeguards. People and animals generally don't survive lightning strikes. There's nothing to suggest that our bodies have mechanisms to protect us against electrical trauma.

Every day in hospitals across the country electro convulsive therapy is still being used, sometimes on an outpatient basis, to treat depression. There's still much controversy about the mechanism by which it works, but a general consensus amongst psychiatrists is that the disruption of the electrical activity of the brain can for some people have a profound impact on their mental state, often a positive one. Studies have shown that repeated treatments can leave scar tissue in the brain, similarly to the kind of trauma that boxers suffer with repeated concussions. So they do generally try to limit the number of treatments an individual can have.

There's interesting research looking at the strong link between heart disease and depression, and speculating that the link may be in the change in the electrical activity of the heart that impacts on the electrical fields in the brain.

There's no telling what series of massive electrical shocks would do to the central nervous system. Not to mention the heart, the digestive tract, the sexual organs etc. But I guess if the police continue to taser people with such enthusiasm, we'll start to find out. I hope it's not anything too nasty.

Until then, I would like to be the first to welcome our new Taser yielding, jack boot wearing overlords.

My six year old daughter started singing a song from the charts

whilst we we driving along in the car. Normally I would have just thought "that's cute", however after reading ImaGnobbers comments I immediately called the police to have her arrested for what was clearly a breach of copyright. She told me that everyone at school was singing it, but I told her to save it for the judge, theft is theft and there's no excuse.

I've been using RC2 a lot over the last few days

and not had a single problem (running XP). It's just that little bit slicker than 2.x and it looks nicer as well.

After reading this and other articles

and installing vista on a couple of machines I am still completely clueless about what the advantages of Vista are. The disadvantages as compared to XP are not difficult to see ranging from software and hardware not working to poor performance.

There may be some advantages to users in large businesses, although I've not seen anything to really indicate this. I really don't understand why anyone wants to upgrade when XP sp3 works just fine?

I'm dissapointed

that the bodyguards didn't pull out their handguns and open fire on the huge flying cock, which would have made it the coolest youtube clip ever, instead of just standing there looking perplexed for a couple of minutes and then a right hook.

Paris because she shows no hesitation in dealing with this kind of threat.

Vista is definitely the new ME

I installed it on my two home machines, and had to backtrack and install XP. Vista was a complete nightmare and offered nothing new that I actually wanted. I saw the blue screen of death, a number of times, for the first time in years. There were so many irritating and unnecessary features like the sidebar, that I found really irritating.

XP does everything I want an OS to do and no there's shortage of device drivers, open source software and games. Using Open Office, VLC, Firefox, Thunderbird Apache and a few other bits and pieces and relying on an hardware firewall alllows me to run XP with minimal drain on resources. Once XP has run it's course and they aren't making drivers for it any more, and assuming that Amiga workbench hasn't made a comeback, I will probably switch to linux.

it's an IP Address, not an IP number

it's four numbers (eight if you include the subnet) so it would be IP Numbers. But nobody says IP numbers because it's an IP Address and always has been.

Paris because I've seen a video of her sucking someone's dick.

This video details the problem, it's transitory nature

and reflects the experience of all the PS3 owners I know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

That's just made my day

My experiences have lead me to conclude that they're a bunch of clueless lying retards who blatantly take the piss and have done for the last ten years. Last time I was in there they tried to charge me £20 for a 1m Cat5 cable. Full credit to the assistant though who directed me to the nearest maplins.

I would like to be the first to welcome our new community warden overlords

and point out that the guy in number 37 regularly overfills his bins, shoot the bastard. I'm glad that I don't have to think any more for myself and that this is all now done for me by the council, like schools and roads.

Mine's the one with the "Nightwatch" armband.

they devote their lives to being living the Jedi life spend hours practicing

light sabre duels all for that moment that they can rise to the occasion and use their sabre rattling skills to deadly effect. Then a lunatic drunk comes charging at them with a vaguely sabre shaped weapon and starts and unprovoked attack. The deadly response that we see is a petulant mumble of "actually that really hurt". It's just not very jedi is it.

Paris, because she can handle a man with a large weapon.