* Posts by Mycho

2862 posts • joined 28 Mar 2007

Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure

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Re: That's how evolution works

It could be argued that mauling the girl would be a poor evolutionary choice since they'd risk being put down.

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Re: In other news

In reality, hippos are scared of drying out so if their path to the water is blocked then they will trample everything in their way to get back there. A mature hippo weighs as much as a modern car so if the blockage is a human being then it will quickly resemble a car crash victim.

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Re: Can't believe you would prefer that the kid was mauled

Dude, you are taking someone at face value when they are posting as Natalie Gritpants Jr.

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Re: Get Informed

And on youtube, albeit with unimpressive camerawork.

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Re: Their choice

Given that pandas will eat meat in the wild, on the rare occasion that they can get it, I wonder if the real problem is that we keep feeding them on the starvation diet they've become accustomed to rather than trying to teach them to enjoy a beef wellington. Get them used to the idea and they'll have the legs off that kid next time.

One click and you're out: UK makes it an offence to view terrorist propaganda even once

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Re: someone shopping for radishes

Free radishes? Where?

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Likely to be useful

I'd say google maps is likely to be just as useful to someone carrying out an act of terrorism as it is to someone shopping for radishes.

Granddaddy of the DIY repair generation John Haynes has loosened his last nut

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I lost a spanner

The Haynes manual never told me how to reach down inside the car body and retrieve the spanner I lost while following its instructions to the letter.

Still I tended to find them as much better than the manufacturer's guides. I think I actually once bought a car that came with one in lieu of the latter.

Congrats, Satya Nadella. In just five years, you've turned Microsoft from Neutral Evil to, er, merely True Neutral

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Re: Evil Neutral

It's almost like a pen and paper roleplaying game doesn't cover the moral complexities of real life.

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Re: "didn't play DnD then?"

In that case I'm going to play Theresa May

El Reg talks to PornHub sister biz AgeID – and an indie pornographer – about age verification

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Re: Huge loophole?

AKA the old "I only read Playboy for the informative articles" defence.

Well the braille version sold reasonably well...

Oh dear! Amazon's facial recognition is racist and sexist – and there's a JLaw deep fake that will make you want to tear out your eyes

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Deepfake entertainment potential

I keep meaning to try to put David Cameron's face on the video of Jonathan Pie telling Theresa May that it's time for her to go.

I know I never will, but it would be hilarious. Someone do it?

Oh cool, the Bluetooth 5.1 specification is out. Nice. *control-F* master-slave... 2,000 results

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Techie finds himself telling caller there is no safe depth of water for operating computers

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Re: Header pic

Yeah, sorry I meant that the earthing wouldn't help because we were discussing an unearthed plug.

I have an unearthed euro phone charger plugged into an earthed euro socket beside my bed.

Mycho Silver badge

Re: Header pic

Still safer than sticking an unearthed 2-pin EU plug into a socket it doesn't fit into, which is what was being asked.

Argos' 3-for-a-tenner travel adapters are earthed, not that it'll help in this situation.

Mycho Silver badge

Re: Header pic

Is there a reason you can't just buy an adapter on the high street for a couple of quid?

Should the super-rich pay 70% tax rate above $10m? Here's Michael Dell's hot take for Davos

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Re: It won't be 70%

It would be an excellent example if we both compromised and agreed to call it a normal part of politics.

Mycho Silver badge

It won't be 70%

Let's be clear here, if she was aiming for 50% (which is quite plausible) she could either open with a demand for 50% and get shot down, or open with a demand for 70% and "begrudgingly" lower it to her real target of 50% which her political opponents would paint as a victory for them.

That's how politics is done these days.

I studied hard, I trained for years. Yay, now I'm an astronaut in space. Argggh, leukemia!

Mycho Silver badge

In order to go into space you must be in perfect physical health, so you can adapt to maneuvering around a spaceship with your hands, not being able to sense which way is up or down, breathing through one tube and pooping through another.

People with lifelong experience of maneuvering with their hands, who never could sense of up or down, who already regularly breathe or poop through tubes, those people need not apply.

Apple: You can't sue us for slowing down your iPhones because you, er, invited us into, uh, your home... we can explain

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'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration

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Yeah, seriously a bad idea

Not the mistake, five pints at the leaving do of someone you screwed over. Don't let your guard down like that.

We did Nazi see this coming... Internet will welcome Earth's newest nation with, sigh, a brand new .SS TLD

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Re: terminology

... and made the Britons pay for it.

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Re: worth it!

Yes, but I'm not visiting to see what's there.

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Re: terminology

In December a Belgian bank was set on fire for someone's choice of the word 'British' when evicting an Irishman.

It's not really a topic that linguists win.

Fake broadband ISP support scammers accidentally cough up IP address to Deadpool in card phish gone wrong

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Re: Deadpool

He may also be the only superhero to die of a heart attack before the end of a fight and have his fanbase insist that counts as winning.

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Deadpool

He's considered a hero now? Weird.

NHS England digital boss in hot water over 'puff piece' written about her future employer

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Re: There is no such verb as "to pen"

Technically, the verb 'type' comes from exactly the same standard. In Middle English the word 'type' meant a symbol, most often a carved one, thus pressing carved (or moulded) symbols against paper to make words became typing. Though there was an intermediate stage where people set types into frames in order to print pages at a time which was known as typesetting.

Type meaning category came later and also referred to a symbol representing that category.

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Show me on the wallet where the nasty-wasty AOC plans to hit you.

The internet is going to hell and its creators want your help fixing it

Mycho Silver badge

Re: Saving democracy

You don't hear them in the city because 99% of them have left for the wilderness.

I am certain you could creep up and rob someone using the sound of crickets fucking to drown out your footsteps.

Mycho Silver badge

Re: Saving democracy

You have some very quiet animals around your parts.

I live on the edge of a forest and it is f****** noisy.

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Re: Saving democracy

sound carried much further than now due to less background noise

Says the townie.

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

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Re: Bad planning

Theresa May seems to take a lot of fertiliser from all sides.

Army had 'naive' approach to Capita's £1.3bn recruiting IT contract, MPs told

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"We would take equal blame"

Now, that actually is a breach of contract.

Capita takes all the blame. That was always the deal.

Amazon Mime: We train (badly) an AI love bot using divorce bombshell Bezos' alleged sexts to his new girlfriend

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"You don't choose your smell, your smell chooses you."

Created from the training data using the Mechanical Turk model.

Germany has a problem with the entire point of Amazon's daft Dash buttons – and bans them

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Sure, give the establishment a list of companies it hasn't successfully corrupted yet. That could never go wrong.

xHamster reports spike in UK users getting their five-knuckle shuffle on before pr0n age checks

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Re: They won't apply to sites on which porn makes up a third or less of the content

I have wondered for a while why people aren't actively making properly educational porn videos. Not learn-about-sex educational, something like this could be made into porn with very little change needed.

Sexy cancer is the new fetish.

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Re: I don't think that's how it goes, though

You're lucky it is terrifying what some people will do with mayonnaise and a wellie boot.....

I think I remember that Children In Need event.

Who cracked El Chapo's encrypted chats and brought down the Mexican drug kingpin? Er, his IT manager

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My guess would be they argued that the bad guys would assume he was a grass anyway when they got caught in the end, so he had nothing to lose by becoming a real one.

Google-whisperers beat reCaptcha voice challenge with 90% success rate

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Re: idiots like this

Now that would be great research, an AI that can tell how interesting a dam is.

Beaver > Hoover

Oz cops investigating screams of 'why don't you die?' find bloke in battle with spider

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Re: Spiders: there is no "overkill"

Couple of years ago where I was living in the uk there was a (relatively for the area) massive invasion of bitey insects. I had a landlord inspection in the middle of it and apologised for the cobwebs explaining that I was trying to keep the flies under control by letting the spiders get established.

"Good idea!" said the landlord enthusiastically and the inspection proceeded without a hitch. I guess someone else had been bitten recently.

Crystal ball gazers declare that Windows 10 has finally overtaken Windows 7

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At what cost?

I keep seeing about windows 7 paid updates and no indication of what they might cost. I'm guessing it's whatever they think they can gouge out of each client in turn?

It's 2019, the year Blade Runner takes place: I can has flying cars?

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Re: We've got until November.

Wait, when does Windows 7 stop being supported?

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Artificial organs

New research suggests that bioprinted organs develop better in space.

Welcome to the future, ladies and gentlemen, please mind the gap between the spaceship and the platform's edge.

Millennium Buggery: When things that shouldn't be shut down, shut down

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Put them both together and I've been there. Network professionals leaving a PFY instructions to refresh a network adapter that don't specify which of the adapters you do it to because to someone with 30 years experience the idea that a noob wouldn't get the right one becomes unthinkable.

Though what amazed me was how long it took to get someone qualified to push a button on the site.

Happy Blade Runner Year, one and all.

Heard the one where the boss calls in an Oracle consultant who couldn't fix the database?

Mycho Silver badge

Re: Someone else fixed my fix

One person's hideous kludge is another person's brexit agreement.

Mycho Silver badge

Re: RE: Getting one over on the boss

I find that if I state the better way of doing it once and don't push it, then the customer will often come back to me 3-5 working days later with a new idea that is suspiciously like what I told them.

Mycho Silver badge

Re: Vindicated

That may have been my slowest upvote ever. Well done.

Staff sacked after security sees 'suspect surfer' script of shame

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Re: Perhaps they should apply the same rules on PCs on the Parliamentary Estate

Is there such a thing as porn in Latin or Ancient Greek?

There is certainly an ancient greek word for it.

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