* Posts by Maryland, USA

168 posts • joined 7 Jan 2008

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Bloke fesses up: I forged judge's signature to strip stuff from Google search

Maryland, USA

Re: It all started as a kid

You mean,

signed,

my muther

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UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

Maryland, USA

Long ago and far away...

In the 1980's, I read about a study here in the states. The researchers analyzed 399 television commercials where either the woman or the man was humorously portrayed as clueless, stupid, incompetent, we're lazy. In all 399, the butt of the joke was the guy.

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Class clowns literally classless: Harvard axes meme-flinging morons

Maryland, USA
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Um, I do

Snitches like the brother who turned in America's Unabomber after recognizing his rants in the New York Times. Snitches like parents in the UK and the USA who warn the police about their wayward sons.

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Love bots lecture thrills room full of Reg readers

Maryland, USA
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A companion in my old age, if...

I plan to retire in 10 years, so I have one pressing question: Will the cost will be covered by Trumpcare?

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Ad men hope blocking has stalled as sites guilt users into switching off

Maryland, USA

You CAN show the ads but block the trackers

Use the Ghostery add-on.

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TV anchor says live on-air 'Alexa, order me a dollhouse' – guess what happens next

Maryland, USA
Happy

"Alexa, void the results of the Presidential election."

Oh, well, it was worth a shot.

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Icelandic Pirate Party sails away from attempt to form government

Maryland, USA
Pirate

We Yanks should be so lucky

But our ship of fools is raising the flag.

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Maryland, USA

Not the same at all

Your printer was 'newly installed.' The caller was already familiar with turning her computer on and off. Here in America, Consumer Reports famously faulted the original Macintosh computer because it's tester could not figure out how to turn it on (by pressing a certain key on the keyboard) without reading the instructions.

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HP Ink COO: Sorry not sorry we bricked your otherwise totally fine printer cartridges

Maryland, USA

If the update was for security...

Why does it prevent authentic HP ink cartridges from working in my machine if the cartridges came from Europe?

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Forgive me, father, for I have used an ad-blocker on news websites...

Maryland, USA

Did you know that when you attempt to read an article that's blocked, often you can read the article in plain text by switching your browser to "reader mode"? You do now. That's how I read more than 10 articles a month in the New York Times, using my Lightning Pro browser on Android.

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T-Mobile USA leaked free access to sites with '/speedtest' in the URL

Maryland, USA

Re: Did he also get high speed access?

Presumably, he would have to if he was running a speed test.

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Ad agency swipes 'unnamed bloggers' for calling out its cynically fake 'save a refugee' app

Maryland, USA

Re: Only an Ad agency (and other similar low-life) would think like this

Only an ad agency and Donald Trump. Oh, wait: same thing.

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Abort, abort! Metal-on-metal VIOLENCE as Google's robo-car nearly CRASHES

Maryland, USA

Clearly a case of...

code rage.

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Japanese female fish in sperm-producing strangeness

Maryland, USA

Hey: If Bruce can become Caitlyn...

I'm just sayin'.

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INTERNET of BOOBS: Scorching French lass reveals networked bikini

Maryland, USA

A new feature will point the lass to nearby lads who volunteer to apply it.

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Virtual reality pr0n on the Rift? 'Why not?' says Oculus founder

Maryland, USA
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The future couldn't come soon enough

And neither can we.

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Bigotry posted by your Facebook account? Use this, Mister UKIP MP wannabe: 'I was hacked'

Maryland, USA

Did anyone 'like' his posts or respond to them?

If so, the response's time stamp.

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T-Mobile US preps for $43 MEEELLION shower of gold on cram victims

Maryland, USA

Screw postpaid plans

Switch to a prepaid plan; you'll never again be charged for something you didn't ask for.

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Listen: WORST EVER customer service call – Comcast is 'very embarrassed'

Maryland, USA

Re: Hmmm

If it's valuable for Comcast to understand why the customer is leaving, why won't they pay him to tell them why?

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Maryland, USA

Maybe one of these excuses would work

1. My parents hate Comcast so much that they've put in writing that if I don't cancel my account, they'll cut me out of their will.

2. My wife hates Comcast so much that if I don't cancel our account, she'll divorce me. She doesn't bluff.

3. My child is dying and canceling our Comcast account is her fondest wish.

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Maryland, USA

Re: Just tell them you've sold your house

Indeed, on another discussion thread, someone said that when he said "We're moving," the Comcast rep insisted he provide the street address so Comcast could confirm whether the new address was served by Comcast.

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Maryland, USA

Of course there are options

No one needs live pay TV. Gen Z doesn't buy it. And my family has never had it; we do just fine on a diet of NetFlix, Amazon prime, and over-the-air broadcasts. Some of the best shows ran years ago; if it's good, it's worth waiting for.

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Maryland, USA

Re: VP of product at AOL

Here's how I finally got AOL to cancel my account:

AOL: "Good afternoon, my name is Raj. How may I help you today?"

Me: "By canceling my account without asking me why or trying to change my mind."

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Come off it, Moon, Earth. We KNOW you're 60 million years OLDER than we thought

Maryland, USA

If the Earth has been passing as younger...

...that proves the Earth is female. Mother Earth, indeed.

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Clingy fondleslab owners TORPEDO industry forecasts

Maryland, USA

Re: When have 'Industry forecasts' ever been right?

They didnt think owners would store the older tablets in drawers. They thought they'd keet the new tablet in the living room and use the older tablet in the basement.

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London cabbies to offer EVEN WORSE service in protest against Uber

Maryland, USA

It's a choice

Yet another group who have a problem with capitalist acts between consenting adults.

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HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

Maryland, USA

My favorite IT acronym is the scanner interface, TWAIN

Technology Without An Interesting Name

Yep, that's it's real name!

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T-Mobile US: Our dump-your-network drive is doing SO WELL (PS: We lost $20m last quarter)

Maryland, USA

"We lose on every customer…"

…but make it up in volume."

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Hey 4G bods: We need to make 'phonecalls' with our 'voices', too

Maryland, USA

This article was well-written

It was so well-written that when I glanced at the byline I fully expected to see the name Ray-something or something Ray, the chap who usually writes the RF-related articles in which an abstract concept is clearly explained. Simon Rockman, eh? That's another name I'll gladly look for. Paul

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Devs write 'film my shag' sex app for Google Glass

Maryland, USA
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Brainstorm (Re: Re:Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours)

Exactly! Watch the 1983 trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNiZP2G-nEM

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Lumia 1520: Our man screams into ENORMO new Nokia phondleslab

Maryland, USA

Still pocketable

If a phablet is no wider than 86mm, It can slip into a man's standard shirtpocket. The 1520 measures 162.8 x 85.4 x 8.7 mm, so it's pocketable. In fact, so is Huawei's Ascend Mate, which sports a 6.1-inch screen.

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Huawei Ascend Mate: The phondleslab for the skint

Maryland, USA

And its radio bands include 1700 MHz

T-Mobile users, rejoice.

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China's second woman 'naut blasts off for coupling in HEAVEN

Maryland, USA

They need to practice docking

Is that what they're calling it these days?

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Petshop iPad fanboi charged with filming up young model's skirt

Maryland, USA

Re: Quiet news day? El Reg?

The accused has been charged. Whenever that happens, we can expect to see highlights from the original story.

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Can't beat the Nexus 7? Join it: Nook tablet gets Google Play store

Maryland, USA

Re: Why won't someone sell me..

Not only that: Google ebooks can't be read on the best book reader, Moon Reader Pro. Once I discovered this, that was the end of my Google ebook purchasing.

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Monitor-makers ponder Android-powered touch screens

Maryland, USA

Re: Do it right

I agree. CRT displays hit a wall at about 130 dpi (2048 x 1536 on a 22-inch diagonal display). LCDs surpassed that, with 150 dpi 20-inchers from IBM, Iiyama, and others around 2001. But since then, we've regressed, settling in at about 100 to 120 dpi, with 30-inchers hovering around 100.

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Yahoo! drops! size! limit! on! email! attachments! with aid from Dropbox

Maryland, USA
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It's not as useful as a direct attachment

Many U.S. government agencies block FTP, DropBox, Google Drive, SkyDrive, Box, and all other file-sharing and cloud sites. For workers there, there's still no easy way to quickly send or receive a file larger than perhaps 20 MB using their government account or 25 MB using their Gmail or Yahoo account.

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Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

Maryland, USA
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Don't resent the Reg's snark; embrace it

That's what my colleagues did at the Department of Homeland Security's Science and Technology Directorate (S&T) in 2007. Shortly after DHS published my article about S&T's LED Incapacitator (http://www.dhs.gov/enough-make-you-sick), The Register dubbed the device a Puke Ray. Within 24 hours, the blogosphere lit up. Big-name news outlets interviewed our developer. Our Under Secretary embraced the nickname. And the device went on to win one of Time Magazine's 35 Inventions of the Year for its ability to spare lives.

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Samsung's next smartphone to scroll by watching your eyes

Maryland, USA
Happy

Watch Apple sue Samsung for calling its new phone..

the EyePhone.

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Jerry Yang hired as fly on the wall at Lenovo

Maryland, USA
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Lenovo "wants to position its ThinkPad range as an Apple-level premium brand"

That's funny; it already is.

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Yahoo! Mail! offers! HTTPS! amid! account! hijack! spree!

Maryland, USA
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Enough! already! with! the! Yahooesque! exclamation! marks!

It! was! funny! the! first! jillion! times!

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Big screened quad-core Chinese beasts splash down at CES

Maryland, USA
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Re: Resolution

I like the screen on my Lenovo ThinkPad W500 from 2008:

15.4 inches

16:10

1920x1200

It's not IPS, but the resolution is a thing of joy.

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Prisoner found with phone + charger in anal cavity

Maryland, USA
Coat

Job variety

Well, that must have provided a pleasant diversion for the prison proctologist.

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Google mingles Drive and Gmail for 10GB attachments

Maryland, USA
Unhappy

great...unless you're firewalled

Great! I'll finally be able to get large video files to collaborators from work. Oh, wait: In the vast organization where I work, all file-sharing sites are blocked.

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Microsoft shoots Windows Live Messenger, brings in Skype IM

Maryland, USA

We'll always have Communicator...or WILL we?

What will become of the company's corporate chat client, Microsoft Office Communicator?

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We don’t talk any more... on the commute

Maryland, USA
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tapping on a laptop

You're not the only commuter who is annoyed by loud users of portable electronics. Listen to the song "Tapping On a Laptop" in my musical play Tracks the Musical: http://www.tracksthemusical.com/synopsis/ .

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OK - who just bought a biz PC? Oh wait, none of you did

Maryland, USA
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Re: they came back in my office

laptop + docking station > desktop

My home setup: four 1920x1200 LCDs (2x2) and an external keyboard, all driven by a ThinkPad W500. Hell, I don't even use a dock anymore; three of the monitors are driven through DVI-to-USB adapters connected to USB 3.0 Expresscard.

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Climate sceptic? You're probably a 'Birther', don't vaccinate your kids

Maryland, USA
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Samples of one tell us nothing

Lewis Page doesn't fit the profile of his fellow believers. Well, neither do I. I'm a rare bird: an animal-rights vegetarian who favors nuclear power. But unlike Page, I don't try to claim, "I don't fit your profile, therefore your profile is invalid."

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Maryland, USA

an inconvenient truth

Check out The Republican Brain: The Science of Why They Deny Science - and Reality by Chris Mooney (2012). Disbelief in climate change and its manmade causes correlates highly with belief in conspiracies and distrust of government.

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HP throws an extra 2,000 staff onto chopping block

Maryland, USA
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PR drivel

Dear HP:

Fire the flack who wrote this; S/he has made the public hate you more, not less:

"We are working to improve our execution and financial performance and to align our cost structure with our revenue and margin profile," HP stated."

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