* Posts by Herby

2950 posts • joined 14 Dec 2007

DARPA releases 'Blackswift' hyperplane details

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Vulture zoom-tech desk

I like it! Everyone should have one!

Portsmouth student peeled in potato laptop scam

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For the price...

He could have gotten one of those EEEpc's WITH the nice model (probably only an hour, but...)

Of course if the spuds were nice imported Idaho russets from here in the USA, it would have been a little less painful.

My question, why potatoes? Aren't bricks a bit cheaper (easier to find "surplus")?

Vatican updates list of mortal sins

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Drugs, Pollution?

Wine, breathing?

No more of that sacramental wine for you!!

Oh, and breathing generates carbondioxide, can't do that either.

We're all doomed anyway!

UK presses car ferry to ship powdered plutonium

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But I wanted...

...a Bud Lite!

It has already been transported, this is probably just a drill, or some such. Get out the Geiger counters and see if anything "glows".

Stroustrup and Sutter: C++ to run and run

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If you want examples of C++

Just go to Bjarne's fine text. Then look for all the examples that include:

// ...

And fill in your own.

Wonderful moving target that language. If you don't like it, wait a while and go back. Nice to have all those versions (up to 10, eh?).

Maybe there IS a reason the Linux Kernel is written in C. If you change one file, you don't need to recompile the WHOLE kernel. "Minor tweaks", yeah, right!!

Why you should care that Jimmy Wales ignores reality

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Power Corrupts...

Absolute power (the inner circle) corrupts absolutely!

Can't say it much better than that!

US dairyman inaugurates bovine biogas plant

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IT Angle

Probably most welcome...

If this is the farm operation I think it is, confining the Bull S*** to an enclosed "digester" would be most welcome. As one who has traveled down Interstate 5 in California's central valley, there is a MOST (I don't think El Reg has a unit for it) odoriferous feed lot next to the freeway. ANY containment of the smell is worthwhile. The side effect of generating combustible gas adds icing to the cake.

Note: If you have driven I-5, you know EXACTLY where this is. It isn't difficult to sense it, and it lasts for about a mile or so. Winding up windows helps very little!

Schools warned of chilling 'Strawberry Meth' menace

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Then there is the danger of DHMO.

Go see: http://www.dhmo.org/

I have WAY too much time on my hands...

US and EU haul China into WTO over news noose

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Making an interesting comparison

China == Microsoft (competitors need to go through it to deliver data)

Dow Jones, Reuters == Netscape, Firefox, Opera (better product that can't compete with "linked" operating system/government).

Just musing.

Microsoft codes leap year bug into Exchange 2007

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Microsoft will fix a bug??

I'm shocked. Has the temperature of Steve and Bill's final resting place cooled down a bit so that snow will accumulate??

Than again, it has taken them a few years to realize they HAD a bug, trying to blame it on someone else!

Ballmer deploys greenery in CeBIT charm offensive

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Idle power 33% less

If Vista's idle power is 33% less I suppose that is good, the problem is that Vista has no idle time, so it probably makes little difference. One needs to compare TOTAL power requirements to really make a difference. Then again doesn't everyone know that?

I am reminded of a computer company that optimized the idle loop because it used quite a few of the available cycles. The computer did nothing very efficiently!

US government forces military secrets on Brit webmaster

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Probable reason...

When you address something to "mildenhall", the mailer just adds the ".com" by default. The lazy id10ts in the US Air Force just thought that they should send to "mildenhall" and did so. Oh, we need to add something like ".af.mil" on the end has no meaning to them.

So much for passing the "internet" test. Maybe the military should get browsers/mailers that DON'T put in defaults (or at least have an option to do so). Add criticism of your mailer of choice here.

Ofcom stands up to Information Commissioner

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What it comes down to...

Is that the cell phone companies DON'T want to provide coverage maps to anyone. The excuse of not wanting to locate towers makes it possible to say "security" when they refuse.

It is the same here in the USA. The only coverage maps a consumer might get are general ones. They consist of a red dot over a whole city (like San Francisco), which hardly takes into account the terrain (yes, San Francisco has LOTS of hills!).

"Can you hear me now?"

Smut peddlers and spammers invade Google Groups

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"Like Cockroaches"

In my opinion, comparing cockroaches to spammers is degenerating to cockroaches. Something lower on the food chain which we all detest would be more suitable (pond scum??). Oh, the never ending battle (*SIGH*).

How Phorm plans to tap your internet connection

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What if they did this to your phone connection?

Draw the parallel. You call up someone, and instead of "hello" from the other side, you get bunches of ads that you may not desire (to say the least). Sounds awful to me. Luckly at the moment, here in the US we don't have such scumbags (I suspect some are close, but that is another comment). If this is so wonderful, why not extend it to the mail, or some such. Instead of getting a nice sealed letter, you get pounds of verbiage in the form of advertisements. To me it looks like they would lose their "common carrier" status and be liable for all sorts of nasty things.

Yes, there is no privacy.

Armed robbers target Oz biker shindig

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This sounds like another activity...

Midget bowling

'The second perp ran straight through a plate-glass door and jumped from a balcony.'

I suspect that he was picked up using his collar and belt and they just wanted to see how far you can throw an idiot.

"Wow, two points, you made the basket!! Oh, sorry, no net..."

Microsoft cuts Vista price

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Price of Vista...

In my opinion, the price ought to be NEGATIVE (i.e. they pay ME). Here at work, I'm stuck with XP since it is the only thing that runs Internet Exploder, and I need that to fill in my timesheet. I'd be just as happy running Linux (which I do at home) to get the work done. Also it runs on cheaper hardware!

Now things would be REAL complete if Lotus Notes ran under Linux as well.


Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

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Oh, if it were so easy to do...

The quote in Total Recall:

"Consider that a divorce.". I had just gone through one and wanted to duplicate the whole scene. Tempting, very tempting!!

The kid in all of wants:

"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom!"

(need to duplicate in a nasal [Mel Blanc] voice).

7000 Leap Year Babies attack Steve Ballmer

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Hours, minutes, seconds, and days, Oh My!

I worked with two people who were born on leap day (different years!), and they tell me that their birthday is "the day after February 28th". This seems very logical to me.

Of course, time should be reckoned by proper Register Units: Microfortnights!

Now look at your watch, and see if the "day of month" thing is proper. I was told of a digital watch that (because it didn't keep the year, so it is excusable), made March 1 after Feb 28. Then I was told that it was pretty smart, in that if you turned it back on March 1, it went to Feb 29. Now that was cool.

I suspect that Lotus 1-2-3 just used year%4 to determine leap year. Microsoft didn't understand, so it copied the bug. Now it wants the bug^H^H^Hfeature documented (and standardized!). Why does this sound like them.

US gov now says Eye-o-Sauron™ border masts are crap

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With apopogies to Princess Diana...

An easy way to fix this is a small land line field. Just start with a backhoe and dig some holes. Populating all of them could be optional.

Another alternative is an electric fence at 1kv or so. Don't want to touch that!

Muy peligro!!

Elonex £99 Eee PC rival to arrive in June

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The Asus gal is for me...

I just like the beach scenery, and the white EEEpc. Oh, the girl isn't bad either. Must be the dark glasses or something...

Cool Rules for the FCC: In the Lions's Den

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Maybe Comcast should do its own Torrent

If Comcast did its own torrent (seeding files) on the other side of the narrow pipe (the upload stream on cable), it wouldn't have problems. All it might take is a simple server with a few gig's of disk space or some such. Then the users can grab the downloads and Comcast's server can do the throttling all by itself.

Oh, and funny how DSL people don't have this problem.

Terminator Salvation is go for May 2009 release

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Its obvious...

Said in the earlier movies:

"I'll be back" (you really need to have the Arnie accent to get this right)

Boffin: Coconut jumbo is millstone in disguise

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Al Gore

Convenient Lies (carbon credits). Enough said!

EC jacks up Microsoft fine by €899m

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Stock quote

$28.19 -$0.19 (-0.67%) at 10:47 PST Feb 27

Basically no change. I guess crime DOES pay!

Quake rocks Britain

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Look, 5.0 or less is not much here in California (NZ be damned). Nothing to get up and tell anyone about.

Once (in the 70's as I recall), I awoke to a shaker around 3am or so. My only reaction was to look at the clock so I could correlate with the news media. Not much else to do.

Nothing to see here, please move along.

US senator accuses FCC of rigging 700MHz auction

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FCC has already raked in close to $20bn

Now if they would only put it to good use! The digital TV mess that is coming in 12 months is a train wreck waiting to happen.

One must remember that it is OUR (the US taxpayers) money first and foremost!

Of course, the high bidder will get "unlimited" use of the airwaves, but will charge us peons by the minute for its use!

And so it goes.....

HMRC pays criminal for 'tax dodger' discs

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You know why this happened...

It was because the local bank official was stuck using a Curta Calculator, not some modern Windoze thing. He got frustrated in the accuracy of the older calculation methods, and didn't have the ability to "fudge" the numbers.

Now if I can find the one I bought back 38 years ago that is somewhere in my sisters house. It is probably worth a fortune (*SIGH*).

Judge accuses hacks of hacking cannibal ruling

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Better cause:

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity"

Probably leaked by some stupid clerk. The malice of hacking a computer seems WAY off base. It is a convenient way of applying spin.

Toshiba Portégé R500 slimline laptop

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List of options??

Well, where is the BluRay DVD burner???

Intel will flush Xeon line with six-core Dunny

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What's in a name...

It may be that Intel just changed freeways in its naming pattern. The problem with that is that the name 'dunnington' doesn't correspond to much. Then again in my travels, I've come across something similar:


Ah, for the days of US99W (it was the 60's, and true to form I've forgotten all about it).

Yes! It's the vacuum cleaner mouse!

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It is for those of us that DO eat cookies!

Look, lots of people DO spill crumbs on the mouse pad. For those who are just too lazy to shake the mouse pad in the wastebasket, this could be quite ideal.

Of course, its performance with wet objects (spilled soda) might be troublesome. Especially since it can get quite "sticky".

Oh, well. As was said in a previous life: "Nothing sucks like a VAX".

Virgin exhibits coconut-powered flying jumbo

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Re: Mr. Fussion

Well, doesn't everyone have one??

Should arrive on the market sometime around 2015 or so. It will solve all those silly global warming things, and make everything nice and cozy.

Judge greenlights lawsuit against Microsoft

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There are warning signs everywhere

"Shown with optional equipment"

"Your mileage may vary"

"See store for details"

"One at this price"

and finally: "Microsoft Operating System Included at No Charge".

If any (all should) of these causes a further investigation, you will be well served.

Doctors back more tax on booze

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This "Prohibition" idea...

I believe it was tried back in the last century in a North American country. Funny, it lasted on a couple of years (1920-1933) but thankfully was overtaken by common sense.

In the "energy crisis" there was also a 55 mph speed limit. That lasted about 20 years too.

Some people never learn!

Gawker - Texas's supercomputing Ranger

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Yes, but...

Will it make El Reg's pages display any faster?

Out the door...............

Treehuggers lose legal fight to solar-powered neighbour

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Strange things DO happen in California...

Here in the Bay Area, where Redwoods are cut down to make solar panels work, we also have a bunch of tree-huggers that want to preserve the recently (about 75 years ago) planted Oak trees in Berkeley (next to the Memorial Stadium there). You see they (the university) wants to expand the athletic facilities to have better teams (more money in TV rights for the university too). The tree sitters (who are now fenced in (two layers) and have people sending food to them with launchers or some such. There is a solution:

Install Solar Panels.

Then they can legally insist on the trees being cut down as they are blocking the panels.

There is a problem, they need to sell a square foot to some enterprising person who will claim the "right" to have solar energy. Perhaps it could be an emergency call box (they have solar panels) so you get a double whammy!

Oh, well, back to the drawing board. File this one in the "unintended consequences" category.

BOFH: Insecurity complex

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Authors notes...

I like it!!

Yes, everyone has had the experience.

Then again, I can say (with photographic proof mind you) that I've further south on earth than anyone (except an astronaut, but that's not earth!). Yes it was a while ago (over 30 years), and I was doing IT (we called it computers then) stuff as well.

Die for Gaia, save the planet?

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A modest proposal...

Has been mentioned before. Maybe we should look into it.

p.s. Water is not running out, it is all recycled. It has been postulated that in every glass you drink is a molecule of what was once Julius Caesar's Urine. Probably very true.

Life goes on. Always will, always has. (*SIGH*)

Redmond puts key Vista update on ice

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Uncle Fester

Aka Steve Ballmer. Best joke I've heard all month.

Reference: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057729/

Fire extinguisher resolves German smoking dispute

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Fire extringuishers

Yes, the power in dry chemical extinguishers will get every where, but they are useful, and do work (on car fires especially, as I personally know). As for having CO2 bottles in computer rooms, they might ban them soon due to global warming. Then again, if imported into London, they may be subject to a congestion charge (even in the back of a Porsche!).

I'm outta here. Bye.

P.S. The guy did what everyone really WANTED to do but didn't have the guts!

Porsche to challenge London CO2 penalty in court

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What would be the charge for...

...an M1A1 Abrams Tank? It would be quite nice in central London, as it would have EXTREME right of way. Kinda a true BOFH type vehicle. Just a small pipsqueak horn which anyone who ignores does so at their own peril.

Who needs a 4X4 when you have artillery you can point at the offender.

Congestion, NO PROBLEM!

Of course, my Porsche preference is for older 356 models (Specifically a 356SC) like the one in my dad's garage!

US scientists puncture the ethanol biofuel bubble

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Be careful for what you wish for...

...you may just get it.

The law of unintended consequences. Applies to many things.

Stated another way: "Ooops".

Amazon pooh-poohs (ingenious) New York net tax plan

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Taxes, taxes, death amd taxes

It has been said before, nothing is more certain than "Death and Taxes". We here in California get used to it. The local rate is 8.25% on just about everything but what you eat (even some of that!). If we want a cheaper rate, we go to Oregon, which has no sales tax, or Wyoming (or Washington, where Bill lives) which has no income tax. Of course, there is the new tax from (simplified):

How much do you make........................$

Send it in to the Government..................$

Remember, when someone says "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.", run away real fast!

Microsoft reinvents Office Live for small biz as 'free'

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"I'm from Microsoft, and I have something Free for you"

Why does this phrase strike horrors in me?

It is like someone saying "I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help you", and you know how that ones goes........

Yahoo! launches! flat!-!-rate! web! hosting!

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They have unlimited email archiving as well.

Simple idea: use the email to have archives of your files. Just make up an automatic emailer for those files you want to save. Must have lots of space on their servers.

Of course, with 500Gbytes coating only $140 or so, get it yourself.

Didn't the BOFH have some business plan for this?

Comcast: Our BitTorrent busting is 'best in class'

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We're ComCast

We don't need to care.

We've heard it all before. It isn't going to change. Remember, in the race between the tortoise and the hare, the tortoise ALWAYS wins. Put your money on the Slowskys!

Equifax asks customer to email debit card photocopies

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Haven't they heard of Photoshop??

Forget about the security of email, how about the security of the scanned image? With not too much trouble, one could EASILY change the information sent. Just move around the last 4 digits of the number (instead of wxyz use yzwx which has the same checksum). Changing the name and address is just as easy. Just have a similar document that has the forged address, and cut/paste it onto the document to be sent. I don't trust anything that is sent as an image, as it is just too easy to alter.

When will people learn? Probably never!

Scottish government drafts Cat Welfare Code

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Draft? most likely 'daft'

Felines are a source of terminal niceness. In fact they make wonderful lap warmers while pecking away on the keyboard. Then again, I suspect that the Scots are trying to heard the feline beasts, which of course can't be done (no matter HOW hard you attempt the task).

Forth Road Bridge hack redirects to smut bazaar

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Bridges, bridges, we got web sites.

Look lots of bridges have web sites, for instance:


Yes, I've walked over it. Quite nice on a Sunday Afternoon in summer with ones wife. The problem is that the people who run it seem to want nobody to use it, and keep doing other stupid things (Ferries, Raising tools, etc.). For an (almost) 70 year old it has held up quite well.

p.s. I had an uncle that provided some radios during construction.

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